Long Road to Ruin
by cimple
Summary: That’s always been my number one fear in life … becoming a bad person, I don’t want to be a bad person … and yet the only stable person I have to cling on to is written on Robin’s top most wanted list. rated to be safe
1. That Edge

**A/N: No, no I haven't died … yet … but I get the feeling imma kill myself sooner or later, college sux and it's frickin' stressing me the hell out!! UGH!! But … **_**anyway …**_** plz don't be alarmed or offended if I haven't responded to you about my other unfinished stories, I am terribly sorry for not finishing them, and believe me I've tried, but I've lost interest in them. I know it sux, but the truth is the truth, I won't be completing those stories anytime soon, I repeat, I will not be completing those stories anytime soon. Again I apologize for the inconvenience, but that's that. However I will leave them up just for viewing pleasure, so again, I am sorry.**

**Now that all the bad news is out of the way, let me move on, yes, I am back my friends and with a whole new story. Although, in this story I've decided to try to do something a little different, for those of you who've been reading my stories I think you'll notice the difference in my style of writing. If there even is a difference to notice (shrugs) I dunno, I thought it was different than my others as I was writing it.**

**Sum: **Heroes try to save the world when they themselves are lost. This saying never held more truth for me than it does now … I don't know what happened, or why I, of all times in my Heroic Career, do I now hold so much distaste for what I have always wanted to do since the discovery of my fate and destiny. I don't want to be evil, I don't want to do bad things … and yet I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame … I'm drawn to the people who do these things for a living, I'm drawn to the freedom. I love my friends, I love the opportunity I have to help and save people, but I can't take it anymore. I'm getting sick of it all, and with each passing day this sickness grows stronger and stronger.

That's always been my number one fear in life … becoming a bad person, I don't want to be a bad person … and yet the only stable person I have to cling on to is written on Robin's top most wanted list. Red X … he's not a good-guy, he's not a hero, and he most definitely isn't a very good friend, but I _need _him … he isn't good for me, like a deadly narcotic I know having him will get me killed sooner than heal me.

I get the feeling Robin knows about us though …

Which means my time in Titan Tower might be up.

--

**Long Road to Ruin**

**That Edge**

"_There is good …_

_And there is evil …_

_There are those that commit crimes … _

_And those that work to stop it …_

_The lines between them are as plain as day …_

_And night …_

_Or at least …_

_They're supposed to be …"_

A clever if not naïve choice of words from a rather young and – by my point of view anyway – confused, often misunderstood, and clouded stubborn-minded detective that calls himself the leader of the Teen Titans. Robin. Just that one word – er – _name_if technicalities were concerned, is enough to gain instant respect. Robin, to a villain (or who _he_considers a _'villain'_ anyway) strikes familiarity and if possible, fear, but mostly a deep resentment in their hearts … well, if the bad-guy really did have a heart to begin with.

An upturn of the lip in an irritated sneer, one reaction often associated with a villain that already knew who the hero was. Robin. My leader, my commanding officer, my – I shook my head, I didn't need to think about him now, I start thinking about him I start questioning my position on the team and then everything rolls down hill from there. Besides, from the corner of my eye as I sat at the counter of an all-night café the waitress was watching me with impatience. I was expecting her to come and finally kick me out since I haven't ordered a single thing for the hour I've been sitting here in the middle of the night.

Or early in the morning, I don't carry a watch but I was pretty damn sure I left the Tower at around midnight or later, doesn't matter anyway. Lately time has lost her sway over me, I was no longer obsessed with keeping track of it … one day faded into the next until it became a week and then a month and then years, until finally it all didn't matter.

I even remember not too long ago I had actually forgotten my own birthday.

Beast Boy, of course, reminded me (reminded the whole team as a matter of fact) with a party, and a big one at that, even the Honorary Titans were invited to celebrate my 18th birthday. Why did he plan something so special? Because I actually saved Terra's memory … granted it was an accident, but it happened nonetheless. Beast Boy had the audacity to bring the blue-eyed geomancer to the Tower and reintroduced her to the rest of the Titans, but as his date. From what I could recall then they had been going steady for about a year without the rest of the team's knowledge, until finally Beast Boy decided to have a sit down.

She reached out to shake all of our hands, but when she touched mines' surges of forgotten memories, and memories best left forgotten flew passed her eyes. She had screamed so long and so loud everyone, excluding myself, was afraid she'd do herself an injuring. She stared to beg me to stop, to release her, but I didn't … her agony, pain, and suffering made me believe she deserved it; she deserved every bit of it. Why should she have gone on to live a life in blissful ignorance while the rest of us suffered the repercussions of her actions?

Repercussions that should be hers to bear.

No, I held on tight and even forced more of her memory into her, even the ones that hurt me to remember, until all that was left was a crying little girl curled into a tight ball at my feet, rocking back and forth begging the pain to all go away. It was pathetic; I remembered thinking to myself, _Had I really let myself be conquered by this worm? _I couldn't look at her when Beast Boy dropped to his knees and cradled her in his arms while glaring at me furiously, thinking I had done it on purpose. Only when I reminded him that she now knew the truth of what she's done and what she is did my cruelty become a remnant of history to him.

That was the beauty of Beast Boy; things were easily forgotten for him.

But that's Terra's story all summed up in a few paragraphs.

She did become a full-fledge Titan, under my care due to Robin's _brilliant _idea that she would learn how to control her powers to the fullest if kept under my watch.

Needless to say she was grateful for having me return her to superhero status, but we still resented each other with a passion.

I still don't trust her, even now, and she secretly hates me for giving her back her memories.

Especially of the times when she's lost control and killed many by the thousands, only she and I knew this little fact. A fact I discreetly shared with Robin, who wasn't stupid by any means, he probably figured it out before I saw the memories in my head and that's why he stuck me with her. To be sure that this time around she doesn't take any short cuts. That little Slade-fiasco of hers was an all-time screw up, there was nothing she can do to change, forget, or repent for it. Nothing.

Speaking of nothing … the waitress was getting sick of watching me sit and do nothing.

With her frizzed out fire red hair and black baggy green eyes that glared at me with great exasperation she finally pused off the counter to stand before me. Even though I couldn't see it, I could hear it, her heels tapped impatiently on the tiled floor before she asked, no, demanded with a sneer, "Hun, you gonna order anytime this year?"

I could have just simply said no, and left it at that.

I could have even just walked out of the café without saying a word.

I find I could have done a lot of things differently with not just this moment, but with every moment in my life, so why did I choose to do so to begin with … would the world really be a different place if I hadn't? In any case I sighed heavily and scowled at the menu over head, "If I had wanted anything on this menu of yours I would have asked for it, but since I didn't that means I don't want anything. If I had to explain this to you, you must be a little slow. Not the brightest crayon in a coloring box are we?"

She stared at me with wide-eyes and an agape mouth while her knuckles found themselves on her hip as she snaked her head from side to side and asked insidiously, "Excuse me …"

"No, excuse me … I'll take myself out." I slid off the stool and headed for the exit.

Yet upon my leave I heard the waitress scoff and growl under her breath, _"Bitch."_ In following, the menu over her head exploded and fell to the ground.

She screamed and I smirked in amusement … Robin doesn't have to know I tend to be a bad-girl when I feel like it, it helps the demon in me relax when it's given a chance to express itself violently. Besides that, the waitress had a point; I was what most would considered a real Bitch … and an Icy one to boot.

The wind blew and I felt the cold beginning of Halloween seep through my black turtleneck sweater. It did little to falter my step under the pitch-black sky that blended well with the equally dark skyscrapers all daring to pierce the heavens. I let my eyes fall from the sky as it always did towards the ground to lose myself within the dark morbid thoughts that dwell in a place I call Nevermore.

However, I really couldn't determine if I should use the word_ 'morbid'_ when describing what is to be known as my mental-state. No, you defiantly don't want to be using the term _'morbid',_ it implied there was a deeper sense of disturbance within my psyche. And for the lack of a better definition I was already _'fucked up'_ enough as it is. No need to give the general masses a reason to crucify me. I was supposed to be innocent, a hero, an icon of all-that-is-good, the proper role-model, like Robin … I closed my eyes and scoffed then ran my fingers through my violet hair as I sighed in annoyance.

Robin

That name … it just refused to leave me …

Or rather, his masked eyes that I've never had the pleasure of seeing for myself, yet knew the color, shape, size, and depth in great detail. Granted they were beautiful, captivating, even _innocent_, but it's not what made him interesting, no, it was the mask. So plain, so simple, but affective and lingering, the irony is that for something that conceals so much can also be able to reveal and bear everything to the world. Not of the person wearing it, no, but of the person staring back – or whoever found the courage to stare back – I had the courage. I just don't know how much of my soul I gave away to prove that nothing could phase me.

It was white with a black trim, a pure heart with a mysterious dark edge, part of the many unknown reasons to why Robin the Boy-Wonder wore a mask of black and white that I have come up with. Making him seem far more untouchable, inhuman than he really was … maybe I was just thinking too deep, I tend to do it a lot, but the real tricky part to this whole thought process wasn't just his mask.

It was _who_he reminded me of when ever I delved into the random thought that had to deal with my frie – _leader …_

The black and white, usually meaning cut and dry with no exceptions.

However … add in a little red … and the perspectives of just a black and white mask can vary if you think about it.

Robin, black and white, he saw things as straight and too the point as possible.

Where as certain others took detours, checked out the sights along the narrow strip of road he traveled on … like … Red X for instance … he couldn't be defined as cut and dry … I knew it … somehow. There was something there, something … something unknown that wasn't at all an emotional relation … but an edge that I had missed when I had reached out to grasp it. Whenever we meet on the battlefield … I could feel it there, that edge just out of my reach, but within my sights … I wanted to touch it. To understand what kept him sane enough to determine right from wrong … to, for one time, become him. To be free of all responsibilities and shame must be exhilarating … I just had to see that edge …

That edge … the edge …

What edge was there?

What the hell was I thinking to bring up Red X to begin with again?

I stopped dead in my tracks and reopened my eyes to find my peripheral vision captured something interesting towards my left, across the street, another living-being in the early morning hours. Wide awake and out and about like me … however, he was more aloof, nonchalant. Just standing there, with his back to some lamppost, the light shining on him, his messy bangs covered over his eyes so I couldn't really tell what he looked like. Only that he was tall, tanned, and lean built, even if it was covered under a hooded jacket I could tell he was in shape just by his posture. I've been around Robin, Speedy, and Aqualad long enough to tell the difference.

Yet, besides his looks, he was just leaning there, looking like he held no purpose at all … kind of like how I was walking the city with no purpose as well. Curious to what he was doing out, yet knowledgeable enough to leave it alone. I stuffed my hands into my pocket and continued down the street. I ignored the young man completely, never realizing he had lifted up his head and watched me with an eerie grin.

What he was thinking, and his intentions, were lost to me as I kicked a pebble in the middle of the sidewalk and sighed when my thoughts once again unconsciously drifted back to Robin. This time, however, there was another that had come to mind: his girlfriend, Starfire, my teammate, and best – … well, she was my teammate that was all that was needed to know. Other than her jaw-dropping, show-stopping, and heart-melting personality and beauty, Starfire was the very epitome of perfection.

While Robin's mask reminded me of Red X, Starfire reminded me of Blackfire, her sister, who was the total polar opposite of the redhead.

Starfire and Robin

Red X and Blackfire

I scoffed, _What a happy double wedding that'll be … I can already see the family reunions … _sarcastic as ever I took a deep breath and … held it in when I froze stalk still again.

The aura … the air around me … it changed; shifted … I was being followed.

On instinct I slowly turned around to see if there was anyone behind me, and there was, it was the young-man from across the street, only this time around he was standing before me. The streetlight to his back made it hard for me to fully make out his face … but I knew he was amused, I read his aura like an open book.

He was amused … and he was excited.

Two combinations added with the still of the night, a lone unpopulated street, and no back-up on my part – I had left my T-Com in my room – I never brought it since I started these nightly strolls. Now you can just imagine me kicking myself for my stupidity … but I wasn't about to panic. I straightened up, discreetly tensing for a fight if there was one to come. Still holding my breath I slowly released it when his smooth, dark, charismatic, and rather playful tone of voice sliced the silent night to ensnarl my ears and I listened closely to his every word.

No matter how cheeky he may have sounded.

"One is a lonely number."

I arched a brow and scowled, "Well two's a crowd, what do you want?"

He shrugged, and I tilted my head at an angle to see if I could try and make out his face from the shadows at a different angle, but he was in the perfect position to obscure my vision. The mystery-man chuckled, "What? No small talk? It's not like I can bite hard enough for a Titan to bleed."

I didn't know whether or not to take it as a threat so I proceeded with caution and so far he wasn't showing any signs of aggression, "I don't make it a habit of beating around the bush … so I'll ask again, what do you want?"

"I've seen you around here more times than I bother to count … and, well, you don't necessarily do anything here to suggest you have connections to the area," he was getting to a point, but I just wish he'd get there faster, as much as everyone in the world may have thought I had patience. The truth was, I had the shortest patience next to Robin and that was saying something, considering he can lose his cool in a snap of a finger or on good days, the right words spouted from Slade.

Slade … that name only made me even more suspicious of the guy in front of me, I was naturally untrusting, but when certain thoughts popped into my head untrusting turned into paranoia in less than a fraction of a nano-second. I narrowed my eyes and took a step back to help me further assess the situation, "So you're stalking me … want a metal?"

He took a step forward, away from the light and closer into my view point, finally giving me the chance to make out the outline of his rather handsome features. I won't lie; he did look like he had all the physical qualities a girl could go for … although details were still obscured. All I was seeing was an outline and I was beginning to get the distinct feeling this guy didn't want me to know who he was, even his tone mocked me, "Look, I'm just here because I'm here, I'm not threatening your life or anything. Just being a Good Samaritan."

"Good Samaritan?" I repeated with a sneer, something about those two words just set me off, and he knew it because he shifted his stance to prepare himself for a rant. Which, I will admit, he didn't deserve, but for some reason I just wasn't feeling myself tonight, I knew it the moment I snapped back at the waitress for calling me a bitch. This would be the same thing, but preparing for it wasn't necessary, I had more self-control than that. It was something I prided myself in, so I mentally turned the other cheek, while outwardly I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "Well take it somewhere else, where some other damsel in distress who really needs it will care, because I frankly don't."

"Touché."

I gritted my teeth, he was testing my patience.

On purpose.

Above and behind him the light bulb to the streetlamp shattered, drenching the both of us in darkness around that one particular area. I huffed and spun on my heel to march away from the man I know was probably in a state of utter shock considering my attitude. After all I was a _'hero' … _and a hero wouldn't hurt a fly that is of course unless the fly had plans for world domination.

Then it was a different story all together.

"You know …" I rolled my eyes, he was still talking, but at least he wasn't following me, "… for a Titan you're not very observant."

I had to stop and turn back around to glare at the cheeky bastard who _dared _to goad me, and damn it all, it was working. I was probably – out of the pick of Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire – the next most observant person close to Robin. If not with the added advantage with my powers, so I knew he wanted to keep me here for _something. _I stood up straight and dared the guy to try anything funny with me, "For a human, you're not so smart. If berating me is all you're here for than I suggest you quit while you still _have_ a head."

"Come on … why can't we be friends?" He snickered, "As far as I know, Chuckles is the uptight one in your little group … I was hoping you'd be a little different. After all, what kind of heroic titan actually snaps back at a citizen of her fair city when for all you know I could just be someone looking for help or maybe a fan asking for an autograph, sounds to me like you need a vacation."

Chuckles?

Vacation?

Hold the phone …

I narrowed my eyes and when the guy turned to leave me I erected a black shield to stop him and forced him to turn back around and face me … but when he did a reflection of light bounced off his amber-gold eyes that stared at me. Not in fear, hesitation, resentment or nervousness … but his amusement and excitement seemed to intensify and I wasn't quite sure if confronting him was a good idea. After all, if my sudden assumptions were right, he was good enough to be put second on Robin's Most Wanted List under Slade. It wasn't only because he had a personal vendetta for the two, but when they talk shit they can usually back it up.

Slade, I knew talked a _lot_of shit, but Red X – possibly the guy standing in front of me – was a narcissistic villain that seemed to have no fear whatsoever. He gave Robin a run for his money when it came to the risk-factor, because Red X not only gambled with his existence, he gambled with everything that made the world hold its breath. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Red X was a single entity, free from all responsibilities about taking care of a team. Robin had a team of friends to look out for that held him back and kept his head straight when he wasn't thinking rationally.

Red X had none of that sort of discipline, he loved attention and where most would find his charm appealing, if not amusing, it annoyed me to no end.

"What's your edge," I demanded headstrong with a tone that could freeze any man's heart … but Red X wasn't just any man I now come to conclude.

He chuckled and his golden eyes gleamed tauntingly under the light of the lamppost across the street. He then closed them and turned his back on me, "No edge sunshine, just being a friend to talk to for the night, but since you seem to be in a mood … I'll take your advice and go …"

I arched a brow and dropped my barrier – I don't know why – he began to walk, but I couldn't help to voice my concerns, "If you are who I think you are … there is a possibility –"

"You can throw me in prison?" He finished my sentence with a snicker, "For one thing, I never said anything, for another, you can't prove my existence even if you tried. Unless you're feeling lucky tonight … think you can take me?"

_I think I'm beginning to understand why Robin can't stand him much, _I thought with an irritated sneer as I crossed my arms over my chest and with a dismissive gesture of my hand I replied, "I was actually going to say there's a possibility that you might be slightly psychotic, possessing a delusional sense of grandeur and you should check yourself into Arkham before you lose all sense of reality. I hear the Joker is an interesting neighbor."

"Oh really?" He retorted with an equal amount of sarcasm dripping from every word, "Well, that's good to know; I'll make a call as soon as I have a _slightly-psychotic _breakdown."

"Jackass," it slipped, I don't usually cuss, but this guy was pushing the wrong buttons. I sighed, bit down on my lower lip and bowed my head … the guy I thought was Red X, still didn't leave … he just stood with his back to me. Taunting me, daring me to make a move, I know it's what he wants, but I will not give him the satisfaction, so I smoothed back my violet hair and turned my back to leave him again

Robin, I knew if he knew about this little encounter would be up in arms about the whole ordeal.

He'd be getting on my case and asking me why I hadn't done everything within my power to lock this guy away … and for what? This guy – if he _is _Red X – was right … I have nothing to go on … it would be a total dead-end, and a waste of time when it turns out he's just another nut looking to screw with my head. Even if I knew for a fact he _was _the real Red X, I have a little talent for detecting auras, but that wasn't the point. In fact, there was no point in continuing the charade, and no point in getting a headache over the whole thing either.

Why the Red X had bothered me to begin with, I don't know, if anything he just wanted to see what I'd do. Knowing this _'villain' _and considering he was the conceited-sort with the high possibility of a slightly psychotic personality – I meant it when I said he should get himself checked in – he'll do anything that amuses himself _if_ he knows the amusement is worth it.

_Therefore:_ everything he did for his own amusement he considered worth it.

Life was like a big game to him, he was nothing like Robin, nothing like Slade, he wasn't even close to being a Hive Member or an associate of the Brotherhood of Evil … he was –

"You're something else …"

_Is he following me? _I stopped in mid-step and turned around to discover that, yes, he was following me. Only I was now under a working streetlight, and he stood there with me, I could clearly see what he looked like and he looked no older then 20-something. 25 would be pushing it, but he was pretty young, older than me, but still young. Not only that, but I was right about his physical build and posture, very similar to Robin's and Speedy's. Other than that he was an average good-looking-joe with his own sense of flare.

He didn't impress me, but it did make me narrow my eyes, "Well … now I know what stupid looks like."

He cracked a smile and started laughing, "Damn, you're funny … I like funny."

"And you're an idiot, I don't like idiots."

"Well, you're gonna learn to love this idiot, come on, walk with me," he still continued to chuckle to himself as he walked right by me in the same direction I was headed, only, now he expected me to follow him? What kind of stupid did he take me for? Really, _now_ I was curious to what drug he was on, probably an upper considering he was able to take out an entire fleet of Titan Villains in one shot.

Hell no was I following him, my feet were planted firmly on the ground as he glanced back to look at me, his smile only turned into a sneaky smirk, "Aw, come on, do you _really _think I got something diabolical planned up my sleeve?"

"No, but like I'll take that chance."

"We're strangers, I don't know you, and you don't know me, I got no reason to screw you over."

"My mother taught me to never speak to strangers."

"But you're still here aren't you?"

I scowled and stubbornly crossed my arms over my chest, "We can go at this all night, but we both know where it's going to end … I'm going to walk away, you're going to do the same, and we're never going to meet again. I'll even give you a demonstration."

Without hesitation I levitated about an inch off the ground and threw myself back into the darkness where I disappeared within the shadows before his very eyes. Only, when I reappeared I was atop the roof of the building we were standing next to, looking down at him and watching as he reached up a hand to run through his hair. He then shook his head and trudged on like a lonely idiot.

I snorted, _The moron … what the hell was he thinking?_ I sucked in a deep breath and looked towards the bay as a harsh cold wind blew my way from the ocean. In the distance I could make out the giant T-shaped tower and a frown graced my lips when I realized that I'd have to go back.

Why?

Why did I feel so disappointed at that fact?

Titan Tower was my home.

It was where the people that loved me lived, where I learned the importance of life and the importance of how precious it was for me to protect it. To do everything there was physically and mentally possible to defend the people of this world from evil. It all made sense; it made perfect sense … at one point in time anyway. Now … now I was sick of it. I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled it in a frustrated huff as I brought a hand up to run it through my violet hair. Only, I didn't stop there, I grabbed a fist full of it and pulled, pulled _hard,_ to the point where I was gritting my teeth and my brain was telling my hand to let go.

Pain, pain was the only way for me to learn, to teach myself that this was wrong, thinking like this was wrong!

I am a hero!

It's my job to defend those that don't have to the power to defend themselves.

It was my place in the world, and everything had its place.

I will _not_ destroy fate and destiny's design.

I will obey … it's all I'm good at, _It's all I'm good at … _Slowly, I let my hair go and let my arm drop to my side as my head bowed, with another deep breath, I gulped and slowly exhaled. It was time for me to return to the tower and live my life in my place. I hovered a foot off the ground and got ready to fly there, but just as I rose another foot I heard a loud _clang _of the nearby fire-escape to the roof of this building. I saw a hand come up over the edge and soon enough familiar amber eyes glowing in the night-air looked at me. He smirked, and I scowled, "I don't know whether to call you persistent or stupid, do you _have _a death wish?"

He chuckled and gracefully leapt to stand on the roof with me dusting his hands as he casually strolled to my side that grin of his ever present as he leaned on the cement rail and looked out to Titan Tower. I gently lowered myself to the Earth as he turned to look up at me with a smirk, "I've been wanting to die since I was born."

I arched a brow, what an odd thing to say, I blinked than rolled my eyes, "That's impossible, when you're born you're a blank slate, unless Daddy or Uncle Dave diddled you, Death would be the last thing on your mind."

He suddenly burst out laughing when he said, "_Diddled me? _Nice … wouldn't have looked at it that way, but no, seriously, my mom told me that I was born with my umbilical-cord wrapped around my neck. She said it was because I wouldn't keep still when I was inside of her, I always got myself into trouble you know … guess I was born to die."

I couldn't help to roll my eyes, "We all are born to die … it's our ultimate fate … it's why we're alive, we're alive because we have to die. It's our purpose in life."

"Wow …" he chuckled and pushed off the rail to stand a good head taller than me to stare at me with his pretty-gold eyes and say with a smirk on his face, "That's a fucked up way of looking at it … you always this depressing?"

I was getting impatient, I slapped a hand on the rail and leaned on one leg while glaring up at the cheeky thief, "Is there a point to all this? What do you want?"

He shrugged and leaned on the rail again to stare at the Tower, "Nothing, just to talk ya know … I have nothing better to do and you look like you got a lot on your mind, so I figured let's call a truce for the night and be human, waddaya say?"

No way … no way was he being serious.

I stood there staring at him with narrowed eyes for I don't know how long, but my silence must have concerned him so he glanced at me through the corner of his eye and then arched an inquiring brow. Probably wondering what was going through my mind at the moment, and I have to say a lot was going through my mind … the one thing that kept popping up was the possibility that he had this all planned out. The timing … it was too perfect … and plus he said himself that he's seen me more than once. Does that mean he's been tagging me? Keeping an eye on me?

Does he live in this neighborhood?

It was all too sketchy …

"So …" I blinked and looked up when he turned his back on the tower to lean back on the rail with his elbows propped on it a cowlick of his messy hair fell over his face and he jerked it to the side as he smirked handsomely and asked, "… what's your favorite color?"

I blinked again and reeled my head back slightly in confusion, "What kind of question is that?"

"A good one …"

"Okaay … and why would you want to know my favorite color?"

"To get the talking started … you don't seem to be going anywhere, so until you've reached the conclusion on whether or not to really leave me this time around … what's your favorite color?"

I sneered, "What do you mean really leave you; I left you in the street you're the one following me."

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Yeah, but you didn't go back to home base," he emphasized his point by jerking his head back to the Tower, "Which tells me that you either don't _want _to go back, or imma have to circle the block to make sure you're not tailing me back home, because it's not everyday I present myself to a rival."

"Then why now?"

"Didn't we just go over that?"

"But that doesn't make any sense … you don't gain anything by just talking to me unless you want inside information."

He pushed off the rail and I backed up thinking there was going to be a fight when he growled, "Jesus Christ, do you treat every guy you've ever come in contact with, with the same kind of suspicion?"

"Especially the ones who aren't trustworthy to begin with, yes."

"You're sad …"

"I'm what?"

"You heard me," he snorted and shook his head before he once again fell against the real to lean on it, crossing one leg over the other and lazily sighed heavily, "I don't know who screwed you over, but all I want to know is your favorite color, like I'm really going to unlock the secrets to the rest of the Titans weaknesses with that kind of information … don't be stupid."

Unbelievable … I scowled, "You're the one coming to me for a little chit-chat and you're calling _me_ stupid."

He narrowed his amber eyes at me, "I didn't call you stupid, I said don't be, there's a difference …"

The sheer impudence of this jackass to imply that I was being stupid was not just insulting, it was ludicrous! I could barely believe he had – for the lack of a better phrase – the balls to say to my face that I was being stupid! What gave him the right? What gave him the courage to do so … then it came to me … that edge. I can see it now, buried in his golden eyes, deep in the darkest depths of his damned-soul, hidden within the slightly rotten core of his cob-webbed heart, the edge that I wanted to have. To see for myself how life was like on his side … through his eyes … through his heart … for someone to be as ostentatious as he was took more than courage and recklessness.

I bit down on my lower lip when he blinked and looked away from me to stare up into the black sky … and I took a deep breath before I bowed my head to glare at the cemented ground in order to softly whisper, "Blue …"

He blinked and looked back down at me, "Huh?"

I finally looked up at him as I walked closer to him to stand beside him and lean on the same rail to stare at Titan Tower, home-base as he so eloquently put it, _What Robin doesn't know won't hurt him, _I thought just before repeating myself, "Blue … my favorite color is blue …"

He stared at me for a moment longer and smirked, "I knew it."

"So what's yours?"

That smirk of his only widened into a cocky grin, "Red."

I rolled my eyes, "Figures."

"Nah, I'm just messin' witcha, it's actually brown … my favorite color is brown."

"Am I suppose to ask why now?"

"Only if you want to."

"Why?"

"It's a nice neutral color ya know, and plus when you get dirty you don't see it as easily as all the other colors."

"True …"

Much to my surprise this is how the rest of the conversation took place.

Silly, irrelevant topics, nothing too deep or too soul-searching, just quick back and forths, he'd ask a question, I'd answer it, I'd ask a question, he'd answer it and I was also surprised to find that most of his answers were truthful and honest. Nothing about why I was always out and about instead of in the Tower with the rest of my friends enjoying their company. In turn I never asked any of the true questions Robin would have … like … his name … where he lived … what he does … and what he's up to.

Questions I _should _have asked, but didn't.

I can't say we enjoyed each other's company though … at least I knew I didn't … he still made me nervous and I know I made him uncomfortable when the topic of my ability to read other's minds came into play. I reassured him it's not something I can just turn on at will, and it took a lot of meditation to stay linked to a person's mind, but I noticed his aura still waiver suspiciously. I left him to his meanders about my powers, better to keep him guessing than to have him know every little thing about me.

Rarely, did we share a laugh, well, the term laugh was probably too strong, but we didn't find the same thing amusing at once.

He'd say something and snicker to himself about it.

I'd say something and find myself catching a tiny smile that crept at the corner of my lips.

All in all, we talked till the sun came up, literally … I don't know how I did it without feeling guilty throughout the entire conversation, but I did. I stood here, on the roof of this random building and spoke to Red X in the flesh with no mask and no suit and no force. Just casually spoke to him like two people waiting to board their flight, knowing that once we went our separate ways we'd never again care to meet again. The thought of each other would flutter away with the wind, just like all the nonsense that we've spoke of.

That's what I thought it was going to be like when I found myself sitting on the cement rail with the sleeves of my turtleneck pushed up to my elbows. X had taken off his hoodie to hang on the rail while he now stood in his wrinkled brown t-shirt and dark blue jeans, he shook his head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he grinned up at me and gestured to the Tower. I knew what he'd asked before he asked it, but what I didn't know was that he'd ask me to allow him to drive me back to the Tower on his X-bike.

I had the right of mind to say no.

It was dangerous enough I had associated myself with him, but to risk the other's knowing who I was with for the remainder of the night would be suicide.

Yet, I found myself not caring in the least … the way I saw it, if I already broke the vase playing catch in the house I might as well keep playing since the vase was already broken. So I accepted and now here I was standing at the pier with X beside me (he had cloaked his bike when he parked it at the docks) staring at the Tower which was not too far for me to fly to from here. I stared at it long and hard, so many thoughts running through my mind, so many questions, so many of everything cramming itself into my head all at once that it nearly made me dizzy just looking at the symbol of justice and hope.

I had to look away, to look down at the chaotic sea and catch my breath.

Why, why was I finding it so hard, night after night, to go back to the Tower?

What had changed?

I would have gone on to question my existence, but a little nudge from X caught my attention, I straightened up and looked up at him noticing his golden eyes now clearly visible in the crisp of dawn staring at me in concern. The question he was dying to ask burning at the back of his throat, but knowing that it had become an unwritten rule through the night to ask what the matter was if anything was bothering the other. He didn't voice it, but I could feel it and so I cleared my throat and shook my head, "It's been fun …"

He tilted his head and stared at the Tower, "Yeah … will I be seeing you in the neighborhood again?"

I frowned, that wasn't what he wanted to know, "… What are you asking me?"

He shrugged, "If I'll be seeing you in the neighborhood again … it's an honest question."

Well, if it was an honest question, my honest answer now knowing where he resides was, "Probably not."

"Too bad …" he snickered and smoothed back his messy hair when the wind blew it in his face.

I decided to finally end it, "Bye, X."

"Yep …" he turned his back on me and with a two finger salute he walked out of my life.

I levitated in the air and pushed myself to the Tower, never knowing that this would most certainly not be the last time I'll see the thief.

No matter how hard I tried to put it out of my mind.

I somehow knew, I couldn't stay away …

--

**A/N: Alrighty then, first chapter down, and as usual I would very much like for you to review and tell me watcha think, if you got any questions feel free to ask alright I don't bite … not hard enough to hurt you anyway. Lol, nah, j/k, feedback needed plz, and I'll catcha in the next chapter.**

**L8er daez!! **


	2. Malchior

**A/N: Okay people, calm **_**down, **_**I know what you all mean, and trust me when I say I share most of your opinions about Raven, X, etc … and I thank you for giving my story a shot, but I can't just jump straight into the romance and gushiness. I got a thing for non-developing stories like that and I just can't see Raven being the type to fall so head over heels in love as easily as say Starfire. So, allow me to apologize in advance and say that it's gonna be a slow start for her and X, of course there are hints and little snips of "Awww"-inspiring moments, but I just wanted to try something different this time.**

**So I won't be surprised or hurt if you don't like what turns up in this chapter, but it has to happen for everything else to fall into place.**

**With that said, I'll shut up now …**

**--**

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Malchior**

Six months is a long time.

A lot can happen in six months.

Surprisingly, I became really close to the infamous Red X in six months, despite still not knowing a single thing about each other we still managed to become close. A little too close. Anyone else on the outside looking in observing how we interact with each other one would think we were a couple. In a way we were a couple, just a couple of people looking to find some company in this miserable existence we both live in.

Sad to say, but my increasing dissatisfaction with my teammates and my position as a Titan had grown even worse, from numbly and passively going through the mundane day-by-day routine to outright rebellion. Now I find myself picking fights just for the excuse to get out and away from them … maybe I want to be kicked off the team … maybe I'm tired of being a hero and tired of the responsibility. I don't know … I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, but then snapped them back open when the small crowd around me erupted in cheers, whistles, and hollers.

A crowd that has grown since the start of the street-basketball game concerning X, a few of his street friends, and some other rival team came together to settle a dispute over the black-top in the middle of an abandoned lot that had been turned into a court. Needless to say, the game turned into an all out battle with me stuck in the bleachers watching the sweat glisten off of a good handful of good-looking men in nothing but their shorts and shoes playing hard to win bragging rights. So as a female I will say that I am not above drooling, especially when these guys were making it hard not to watch how their muscles moved and rolled under their flesh.

It was a sight for sore-eyes … and apparently X had won the game, hence the reason for the cheering.

He was lifted onto the shoulders of the crowd who picked him up as I stood up on the bleachers watching everyone cheer him on while the losing team stomped off pouting with a bad taste in their mouths. While they celebrated I walked over to the bench where X dropped his shirt and his towel and I picked up both of them in my hands patiently waiting for him to squeeze through the crowd to finally stand before me. Breathless, but with the biggest, cheekiest smile on his face he opened his arms and shrugged, "What? No hug?"

I rolled my eyes and tossed his towel to his face, "You're sweating, and you stink, I don't think so."

He snorted as he wiped his face, "Like you're miss roses."

I ignored the retort when I noticed his friends on the other side of the court were watching us curiously, I fingered the hem of his shirt and when he pulled the towel from his face to stare at me I discreetly gestured to his friends, "I think they want to celebrate with you."

He blinked then glanced over his shoulder at them, one of the gentlemen shrugged as if asking what the deal was, probably more so wondering who I was than if he was going to join them for a celebratory drink. X just waved them goodbye while he said to me, "Eh, they can get on without me …"

From where I stood watching his friends through my eyelashes I saw them rolling their heads, scoffing, and snickering as if they knew what the deal was between us when they hadn't a clue. I even knew for a fact that they didn't know X was Red X, to them he was just another average guy that was cool to hang with, and in truth X was alright … he wasn't all-bad all the time. Granted he can be a real ass and acted like he knew everything under the sun, but it was still interesting to be around him. To hear what he had to say and slowly come to understand what he was all about. I paid close attention, and in turn I felt his attention was solely fixated on me whenever I spoke.

I don't know what it is about myself that fascinated him so much, but I could feel it every time I spoke to him. His entire aura was focused on me and only me … and though most girls in my position would be flattered at the attention, I was more focused on his motives. Yes, even now, we still haven't exactly established a solid trust between the two of us, we were still wary of the other's intentions, but we still come back to each other.

It was like an addiction.

We know its bad for us, but we can't help it.

Every day we're together, we need just a little more time than the last to ourselves.

I don't know what it is that draws us together, but I'll find out soon enough.

In the meantime, he took his maroonish-brown shirt from my hands and slipped it on, then with a grin and a jerk of his head he gestured for me to follow him out of the court and onto the sidewalk. I did and as we walked down the same street I once walked by myself with no real sense of direction; I still had no direction, but this time I was with my partner in crime. For the pass six months we've never strayed away from this neighborhood … I don't know why, but every time we just felt like walking we'd never pass the crosswalk into the next street.

We were confined to this neighborhood, but we weren't prisoner to it.

Not to say we liked this neighborhood either, no, it was pretty much a dump, a place no one in there right mind would want to take a casual stroll in. With the occasional rundown apartment complex, closed down small businesses, small mom n'pop shops, dark alleys, dangerous backstreets, graffiti murals, trash here and there. It was Jump City down to the nitty-gritty, but the best part (and I think this is why we were hesitant to drift away from here) it was far enough away from Titan Tower that there would be no reason for the other Titans to come snooping around.

Perfectly safe for me to cruise without the worry of a friend recognizing me, I could rest easy knowing no one here would bother to ask about my attendance or about my acquaintance. An acquaintance, who, without asking lead me into a café (not the one with the same waitress thank the gods) and gestured for me to sit at a table for two. He took the seat across from me and in a matter of minutes a young waitress came to our table to get our drinks.

He ordered a cherry-cola, I ordered an unsweetened tea.

Perkily she took down our orders and went off to retrieve them, only when she was finally out of earshot did I prop my elbows on the table, and weaved my fingers together to prop my chin on them. I looked at X and said quietly, "You seemed to have enjoyed yourself today …"

He snickered and leaned back on his chair, "Yeah, but I'm easy to entertain, you on the other hand are a little harder to please."

"Watching you play a little contact-sport isn't exactly my idea of a grand ol'time."

"Considering it's you, I wouldn't think so either."

For a split second the corner of my left brow twitched in annoyance at his offhanded-comment. Whether or not he caught the motion didn't matter to me, what did matter to me however was that nasty part of his arrogant personality that gave him the audacity to act like he knew everything under the sun. Everything including me, it was cute when we first started and we would banter back and forth about what makes us the way we are. But now … I inwardly shook my head while I slid off the table to lean against my chair to stare off into space … now I just felt uncomfortable with all his offhanded jibes and witty-remarks about me.

It made me wonder … was I that easy to read?

Even my teammates seem to predict with great accuracy what will and won't set me off, but then I brushed it away as having made ourselves familiar with one another. Yet, sitting here with X made me ponder the thought that maybe I wasn't that hard to understand … maybe … maybe I am easy to read. I closed my eyes and turned away from the waitress when she returned with our drinks.

She asked if we wanted anything else and I shook my head, X dismissed her without ordering either and instead took his cola with his straw and sucked down the carbonated beverage. I didn't bother to touch my iced-tea, and I suppose in seeing this X snapped his fingers at me to gain my attention, I only glared at him at the corner of my eye as he nodded his head in concern, "What's with you? You've been moody since you arrived at the game, what's wrong?"

He didn't care.

I knew he didn't.

He knew he didn't.

He was just curious; we both were when we started to ask what the problem was when the other arrived with long-faces. It was curiosity talking, not concern, and since we knew that was how it would be between us I shrugged and replied drily, "I'm not moody just a little zoned-out, there's a difference … and nothings wrong, just got a lot on my mind."

"You're teammates again?"

"Partially."

"Ah …"

He left it at that knowing that if the topic was my teammates he shouldn't be asking about it. So he took another sip of his soda and I finally reached for my tea, I took a sip and when I put the glass back down I looked up at X to find him staring at me with that sneaky grin of his on his face. I frowned and dared to ask, "What?"

He snickered and shook his head, his amber eyes glinting dangerously and I knew, from the six months we've been seeing each other that that look meant trouble … for me. He leaned on the table his grin getting bigger as he said, "You know … this question has been bugging the hell out of me since I saw that news reel of you and kid-wonder a while back."

I blinked then sneered, "You mean the clip of when Robin tripped on me after Terra stupidly started flinging mud at Overload?"

He almost outright laughed in my face while his eyes light up like fireballs, "Okay, you and me both know that wasn't just any fall, the whole town won't shut the hell up about you and him being a couple, so –"

"No."

"Huh?"

"I'm answering your question, no."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask."

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes, "You were going to ask if we were seeing each other, weren't you?"

"Uh … no, actually, I wasn't … I know you're not seeing him otherwise you won't be seeing me now, common sense ya know."

There he goes again with that arrogant I-know-everything tone, I scowled, "How is that common sense? What's your basis for that argument?"

He looked me dead in the eyes and answered in one word, "Guilt."

"So if I'm Robin's girlfriend I can't see you because it would make me feel guilty?"

"No, the act of seeing me behind his back won't make you feel guilty – it will make you guilty in law by association, but that's beside the point – however the knowledge of who I really _am _will drive you crazy."

I scoffed and sat back in my chair, "Yeah … you know me _soo_ well."

He frowned in protest, "What's that suppose to mean?"

"Never mind …" I was getting irritated, but I didn't want to fight with X. Not now at least … I still needed him as my partner for this crazy game I'm playing, so I dropped the subject altogether and returned to his question, "… you were going to ask me something?"

He stared at me for a moment longer as if debating on whether or not it was worth continuing the argument. It didn't take him long to reach a conclusion, in defeat he huffed and shrugged before picking up where he left off, "Well I was gonna ask if you were still a virgin just to get a rise out of you, but seeing as you're not even in the conversing mood, well you just took the fun out of everything."

I blinked and just stared at the thief with narrowed eyes while he shrugged dismissively and took another drink of his cola as if the topic of my virginity was nothing more than just another topic of conversation. Sometimes I wondered if X really does have no shame whatsoever in being brutally-honest and often times rudely straightforward … it was refreshing yes, but sometimes he can be downright nasty. Of course, it wasn't something that shocked or disgusted me, not even embarrassed me.

I honestly expected him to ask me this question sooner or later after he inquired about my relationship with Malchior. Apparently, with the brief period he had been in the Brotherhood of Evil along side the dragon the two had hit it off and become each others' ace-in-the-hole if the other should slip into a jam. In fact, it was through X did I learn _how _Malchior escaped the Herald's Domain. X assured me Malchior was nothing to worry about, that he was helping the dragon stay off the Titans' radar for good … but I knew better … I knew so much better.

X was watching my reaction closely when I finally looked away from him to stare at the table in consideration, should I tell him the truth? He'll be the only person to know … was he the right person to know? What harm will it do me if he knew that I wasn't … will he be shocked? I scoffed inwardly at the thought; of course he'd be shocked! It was just a question to get a rise out of me like he said, he won't expect a straight answer, so I blinked and looked him dead in the eye to give him what he wanted, "No …"

As predicted his eyes slowly widened in shock and the hinges on his lower jaw slackened till he was staring at me agape like a suffocating-fish. He quickly shook the look off his face and glanced around us as if to be sure no one was listening in; I sat up and crossed my legs under the table while he leaned forward and whispered, "You serious?"

I sneered, "When have I ever told a joke?"

He snorted, "It's never too late to start …" he tilted his head and asked, "So who is it?"

"Who's what?"

X smirked, "It's Robin isn't it …"

I rolled my eyes and took out my wallet; I put the money on the table to pay for both of our drinks and stood up. With my hand still on the money I leaned on the table and loomed over X with a bored look on my face I whispered, "Have an original thought."

I headed out of the café with a tiny smirk on my lips when I heard X curse after he stubbed his foot on the booth coming after me. I gently pushed on the glass door and casually strolled down the dark sidewalk waiting for X to catch up; it didn't take him long before he was by my side. With a hand on my arm he stopped me and forced me to turn and look at him, I did with a tired sigh, but since we were under the street-lamp I leaned lazily on the pole and glared at him as he stared at me in fascination, "If it's not Robin than who is it, I always thought you two were close … was I wrong?"

"No, we are close … just not _that _close."

"Well don't leave me hangin' here sunshine, who is it?"

"Why do you need to know so bad?"

"Because whoever he is you're still not with him, and I always pegged you to be the one-time, one-guy, set for life kind of girl. If you're telling me otherwise, then yeah, I'm kinda curious who the bastard is."

I frowned and tilted my head, "Bastard? Why would you call him that?"

He rolled his eyes and he only does that when he's getting impatient, "Because he has to be if you left him, what did he do? Cheat on you? Use you? What? Come on, this is news I gotta know."

"You don't _gotta_ know anything," I crossed my arms over my chest and made myself comfortable on the lamppost with a heavy sigh, "but if you insist … he was a bastard, probably still is, to him I was a means to an end and I understood that perfectly … but it wasn't because of something _he_ did are we not together, I just knew we didn't have that fairytale romance like Robin and Starfire do. He was attracted me, and I was likewise to him, heat of the moment kind of thing … the next morning I told him to leave … but I regret nothing."

Of course I left out a few minor details, like how he came to my room with the intent on finishing me off and he nearly came close … I could still feel the rage he had against me for twice having sealed him away for life. I was in my private shower at the time when he rushed me and slammed me against the tiled wall with the intent of snapping my neck like a toothpick. I could still see the fire in his blood-red eyes boring holes into my heart, he really wanted me dead … but for one reason or the other … he couldn't do it.

He couldn't kill me … I remember asking him why as he sank to my tub-floor and let my shower drown him in his pathetic despair. I turned off the water and stood naked as the day I was born before him, confused and in a daze, I didn't know what to do when he got on his knees and pulled me into a tight hug. He buried his face into my bare-stomach and it was in that moment did I understand why he couldn't kill me … I was the only woman who had ever stood up to him. Who had dared to fight against him and win, twice. To him, I was the only thing he'll ever get close to an equal in this millennia where he was now truly alone … the only dragon alive … and he couldn't destroy what he considered to be a rare-gem, he was greedy like I that I suppose.

I had tried to pry him off of me, but when I leaned down to tell him to let me go he pulled me into a rough kiss that I remembered had left my lips swollen and red … and had me wanting more.

I could barely delve into the hotter-details of the memory when X shifted his weight from one leg to the other patiently waiting for me to come back from the past. I sighed heavily and pushed off the lamppost to continue walking down the street, "It was the night before my eighteenth birthday about two months after you freed Malchior …"

I let him come to the conclusion on his own, and he did so without skipping a beat, "So … Malchior was your first huh … now that's interesting … why didn't you guys go all the way? You know, little house on the hill with the white picket fence, a dog, a cat, two kids, the whole nine-yards."

"Because it just didn't work out that way. I don't love him."

He stopped to just stare at me, I took a few steps before I turned to face him and I was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu when I could barely make out his features in the shadow of the night, but I could hear him perfectly, "But how do you know he doesn't love you?"

I frowned and shook my head, "He doesn't."

"You don't know that … you don't know what he's feeling if you've never asked … for all you know you could be the only girl for him, the rest of the world can burn in hell if they say otherwise."

"Hold on, so you're saying I passed up a good opportunity and I should have gone the whole nine-yards with him?"

"No, what I'm saying is you shouldn't be so quick to say that things won't work out the way you think they would … despite what you may think life isn't out to get you, _no one_ get's the fairytale ending, no one is that lucky." I made out his figure shrugging in the darkness just before he walked up to me and his face was once again clear to see as well as his infamous cocky smirk that I felt was meant just for me and no one else. It was an odd feeling that I didn't expect, so I brushed it aside as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close.

He's done it to me before, and I've continually allowed it, why? I don't know, but at least he wasn't groping me, instead he said softly, "And I'm glad you didn't decide to stick with Mal, otherwise it'll mean I'd be … _all by my-self, don't wanna be, all by my-self –!"_

I smacked his chest to stop him from singing that damn song (even though he did have a pretty good singing voice); he laughed and pulled his arm from me to shrug, "What? It's a nice song."

"I never said it wasn't, I just don't want you singing it."

"Touché."

He chuckled a bit more and I managed to crack a small smile before my communicator went off (I've been taking it with me since I've been purposefully leaving the Tower frequently). X's smirk didn't falter, even when I pushed him away from me to flip open the com-link to see Robin's masked eyes glaring at me through the tiny screen, "Raven here go a head."

Robin's narrowed mask darkened suspiciously, _"Where've you been? You just stormed off after I broke you and Terra apart; I wanted to talk to you."_

"I needed some air to breath."

"_Did you get it?"_

"Was that a question, or are you trying to make a point."

"_What's with the attitude?"_

"I was just asking."

"_Raven … come back to the Tower, we really need to talk, just you and me. Meet me at the roof in five, got it?"_

"Copy." He winked off the screen and I snapped it shut.

Behind me X whistled long and low, "Wow … I don't know what's going on in that Tower of yours … but damn can I feel the tension from here."

He made a chopping motion with his right hand to signify the butter-knife he'd use to slice through the tension between Robin and me. I scowled and clipped the T-com back on my belt as I hissed, "Shut-up."

He ignored my snappiness and instead chuckled mockingly, "You really need a vacation … but in any case, see ya when I see ya."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Eh …" he rubbed the back of his head in thought, then shook his head, "Judging by the way your boy sounded I say we should lay low for about a week or two … feh, I don't know, like I said I'll see ya when I see ya …"

I frowned and wasn't too happy with his reply, but he had a point … he still had a life to protect, his own, and if Robin started sniffing too close it'll be the abrupt end of our little rendezvous. Better to play it safe and sever all contact for a while … I could survive for two weeks without him to talk to … right? I sighed and refrained from pouting and blaming life for not being fair, being childish wasn't going to do me any good. So I slipped on my big-girl panties, sucked it up and prepared to leave, but closed my eyes and relished in the warm of X's hand when he pressed it against the side of my face.

I looked up at him to find him towering over me effortlessly, he was a foot taller than me after all, and it seemed no matter the occasion his face would always have that permanent smirk on his lips. Lips that pressed against the top of my head in a soft, lingering good-bye kiss he'd give me whenever given the chance. He then pulled away and winked before he turned his back on me with his signature two finger salute he bid me ado.

That was one of the few things I liked about X … he wasn't one for long goodbyes.

He even told me so himself.

--

**Disclaimer: (I FORGOT TO PUT THIS IN THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!) I don't own the Teen Titans, never did, never will, so do NOT try to call me on it, cuz the fact of knowing hurts enough as it is, leave me to my fantasies darn you DX!! BTW, the song X was singing isn't mine either, it's **_**"All By Myself" **_**by Eric Carmen, a really nice song I don't own.**

**A/N: (Bracing for the onslaught), Don't … hurt me … like I said, all will fall into place later, you're just gonna have to trust me on this. Okay, the usual, feedback, questions, I am available so don't be shy …**

**L8er daez **


	3. ToySoldiers

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Toy-Soldiers**

What did he see out there?

That was my first thought as I soared through the dark skies closer and closer to the Tower till I finally saw Robin on the rooftop staring into the black-horizon where even the lights from the glittering city could not reach. Total darkness, no stars, no moon, no nothing … just … black-out. _What do you see …? _I pondered quietly to myself, knowing that it'll forever remain a mystery since I know I'll never bother to ask, it was an irrelevant question, a fleeting thought, that didn't need to be addressed.

So with that I put it out of my mind and approached him, soundlessly, yet in the back of my neck slivering down to the pit of my heart I felt the tingle of our bond and since he was an exceptional human-being, I knew he could feel it to. The shadow of my raven-soul darted to the ground and like second-nature to me I manifested into a solid being. A strong wind whipped between us and my long violet hair that was tied up into a high ponytail was pulled with it; Robin's super-gelled hair (still spiky, but seemed to be growing out long enough to fall over his face) swayed, but withstood the forceful winds.

Only the hood of his deep-red hoodie was tugged, and it was then did I notice he was out of uniform … but he still had a mask on … still the same Robin mask of old. It made me remember what Starfire had said about Robin becoming some other vigilant who went by the name of _Nightwing _when she returned from the future. When would that come true? Would it ever? It didn't seem to be happening any time soon, Robin liked being Robin, though he did adjusted his uniform (as did the rest of the team and myself) to accommodate his sudden growth, and what a growth. He shot up till he surely matched – if not was a half-inch taller – than Starfire, he was a good head taller than me that was for sure, and his physic was nothing to laugh about.

As a matter of fact it was very impressive, not that it wasn't a few years back, it's just now there was a definite line drawn between being a boy and becoming a man. Needless to say, with Starfire at his arm Robin did learn to tone done his obsessive nature when it came to catching the bad-guy, but he was still – for the lack of a better phrase – a hard-ass. He still hated to lose, and he was a slave-driver when it came to practice.

So I braced myself for the worse when he finally turned to acknowledge my presence with a nod and his typical greeting … at least, typical between the two of us, "Welcome back …"

None of the others would ever understand why this greeting was so significant between the two of us … it was like an inside joke, no one would get it unless they were one of us. I liked that, but my feelings weren't on the line here, so I stuffed the warm-fuzzies in the closet and closed it by crossing my arms over my chest and getting straight to the point. No time like the present, "You needed to talk to me?"

He didn't answer me right away, he seemed to be – no, scratch that, he is – thinking about something and whatever it was it surely had something to do with me. I've noticed, with our years together I'm the only person he has to actually stop and _think _about the words he'd use to address me. Not only that, but I also noticed he's been more careful about his approach; he'd wait for the right moment to spring something on me and catch me off guard. I was like his little practice dummy so when the real mind-freaks mess with his head he'll be ready, and I had to be honest, I didn't mind much since it worked both ways. He can have his training in interrogation, and I can have my poker-face practice.

A vicious cycle, a titter-totter power play, a dangerous cat-n-mouse game; call it whatever it is, but what I'm trying to say is we've gotten so good at playing against each other it's lost its humor and become a problem. I closed my eyes when he shifted and stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket as the wind yet again roared around us and tore at our clothes, hair, and skin. I shivered ever so subtly, but made it look like a bored sigh so as not to imply that I needed his jacket to warm me. No … the last thing I need now was a comforting friend on a team I was growing weary of, in a tower I was suffocating in, on the outskirts of a city I was slowly hating, why?

I don't know.

But I promised myself when my affair with X began that I will find out.

I had to … it was my only chance to save the only life I've ever known.

"Where've you been?"

_Dammit! _I cursed softly in my head when I blinked open my eyes to stare at Robin with a dumb look on my face that lasted only a fraction of a second, but it was enough, I knew it was enough for him. _Dammit! _I cursed again when I realized he's caught me drifting into la-la land and he now controlled the flow of the game, which meant I had to somehow find away to tilt the game into my favor, so I kept my answer short and to the point, "In town …"

"Doing?"

It wasn't demanding, cynical, or spiteful, just an emotionless question that posed no threat that I decided to fight to see how he'd react. Maybe then I can break the aloofness of his line of questioning so I can end this talk before it went somewhere I don't want it to go, "Is there a reason you're interrogating me?"

He shrugged and remained in character, "Just wanna know what you've been up to … you've been … " he gave pause to tilted his head and narrowed his eyes contemplatively, again looking for the right words to use against me, and when he finally found it he said it softly, "… withdrawn, and I'm concerned."

My eyelids dropped while I felt a tug at the corner of my lip pulling my face into a dry expression of exasperation when I come to find my being on guard was all for nothing. All he wanted to know, embarrassingly enough, is how I was feeling. I huffed and said, "You don't have to be Robin, I'm fine, I just need my space."

Again, he didn't answer me right away, he started to stare, started to think and it made me wonder if the game really wasn't over. I braced for anything, only to get an equally dry, "Okay …"

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, "Is that it?"

"I don't know, you have anything else you wanna tell me?" I reeled my head back slowly and sneered, so he wanted to play it that way, fine by me. I prepared for an argument, but he stopped me before I unleashed all Hell, "Hear me out, Raven … we have this connection …" he paused, probably because he saw me roll my eyes in annoyance. I was getting so sick of him using our bond as an excuse that I, at times, completely tuned him out after I heard the phrase _'we have …' _when referring to my inability to be a social monkey like Starfire.

I bit down on my tongue to keep it from lashing out while I glared impatiently at the boy-blunder who seemed to have his eyes glued on me, still trying to figure out how to go about his little talk now that I finally expressed my utter distaste for being here. However, it was in expressing this did I finally break his aloof-character when he let go a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his black-spiky hair as the wind continued to play with it. He finally looked up – or down, I was shorter than him – at me with his infamous stare-down that would make any other villain tremble at the weight he put into it.

Even his tone of voice changed, he was more aggressive, more insisting upon me listening when he said, "Raven, whatever it is you're going through, I hope you know you can talk to me about it, because, I can't exactly explain it, but I just feel like ... you don't trust me ... like you never did to begin with. Maybe it's just me, I don't know, but I'm not going to pretend there isn't anything to address."

I scoffed and dropped my arms from my chest to shrug dismissively, "No one said you had to pretend."

He frowned, "This feud you have going on with Terra ... it's not just about what she's done in the past anymore is it?"

_There it is … _I was wondering when he'd get to mentioning Terra, but what he said didn't register, I furrowed my brows in question, "What do you mean?"

"You've been picking fights Raven ... something you don't do often, if _at all."_

I propped a hand on my hip and shifted my weight onto one foot and asked, "So I'm a troublemaker?"

"Only when the situation seems to suite you ... yesterday it was with Beast Boy and the Gamestation, now it's Terra over a book?"

"It was a good book, first edition and she bent the pages." I responded quickly without skipping a beat, but I cursed softly when I knew I set myself up for failure.

Robin attacked, "Raven, I remember Cyborg had done the same thing to one of your scrolls not too long ago and you didn't jump all over his case then and don't try to tell me it's not the same situations, you even said so yourself you're not a materialistic person."

I scowled, "Hurry up and make your point."

He matched my expression, "You're making excuses Raven, and not knowing why is worrying me."

"If you're concerned about your trust in me as a teammate, don't be, I'm still your toy-soldier." I noticed a slight arch of his brow, probably questioning why I used the term _toy-soldier_ to describe my position on the team. It was X's idea actually, he once cracked a joke that had something to do with Robin and his nickname _boy-blunder, _and somehow the term toy-soldier came into play and so it stuck. We got so use to referring my teammates and the other honorary Titans as toy-soldiers that it just slipped my tongue, but I digress.

Robin huffed in frustration and shook his head to disregard what I said to finalize his point, "Raven this isn't about the team anymore, it's about you ... I know something's wrong, but it's _you_ who doesn't trust _me_ enough to tell me the matter. I don't wanna push you into telling me what's on your mind Rae, but I gotta be honest, it feels like ... like I'm losing you …"

Wow … did he just lay his cards out on the table?

I stared at him dubiously almost expecting there to be another angle to this total vulnerability and complete honesty. I nearly shook my head in disbelief when I referred to Robin as vulnerable … Robin wasn't vulnerable … he was human, yes, but to willingly flip his hand open to show me his cards and gamble on my equal honesty was not a very Robin thing to do. However, when I finally realized what this talk was all about, I also realized that Robin not being Robin was Robin _totally_ being Robin.

He knew I wouldn't expect his openness.

He was counting on my shock and my guilt to take over and confess whatever it was he thought I was hiding. Which also meant he suspected I was hiding something big enough for him to force my hand and admit that I was cheating, _Well played … _it was a good strategy, but too bad I was smart enough to spot it before I did anything stupid. Like tell him I had an associate who was ill inclined to follow the rules and was more inclined to follow his own set of means in achieving his goal, whatever they may be. A true rebel without a cause.

I sighed heavily and walked passed him towards the edge of the roof to stand dangerously close to its dizzying-drop, I accidently kicked some loose gravel that tumbled into the air as gravity set in place and the tiny pebbles plummeted to the jagged rocks below. Tauntingly the wind pushed at my back to force me forward, but I held strong and listened as Robin silently took his post beside me, close enough for me to whisper, "You're not losing anything boy-blunder …" I blinked and then through a tilt of my head I glanced at him through the corner of my eye and caught him staring at me in doubt. I forced a tiny, barely noticeable smile on my face as I pressed my right hand over my heart and lifted up my left hand and said, "Scouts honor."

He smirked at the joke that was just between us and I knew everything was right with the world again when he turned away from me to head back into the Tower, "Come on … let's get inside, you're getting chills, I don't want you to catch a cold."

"…" I dropped my hands back to my sides and turned my head to glance at the city one last time before I left, content with the fact that I had successfully thrown Robin off my trail, but still unhappy about _something _in my life.

I sighed inwardly to myself and dismissed the thought as the warmth of the Tower engulfed me, and the chill of the heavy rooftop winds were locked out when the thick steel door was slammed shut and locked-tight.

--

It was pass 2 am, I was already dead asleep when my communicator went off and rudely woke me from a dreamless slumber. I sat up from my bed with a groan and reached for the T-com I placed under my pillow incase of emergencies. Yeah, some people put guns, I put my communicator call me crazy, I don't care, call me stupid and I'd have to semi-agree for I failed to ponder why and who would contact my private-line at such an god-awful hour. I pressed the button to allow for two-way link and spoke into the speaker like a walkie-talkie, "Mmm … Raven here … go ahead …"

I released the button, the other line crackled as I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and tried my best to get it straightened out while I waited for the connection, I don't know why I bothered to grow my hair out, but I was beginning to regret it. Maybe I should cut it … I held that thought when the voice on the other side sounded mechanically distorted despite the very human grunt and hiss of pain, _"Ahh … Raven …? You there …?"_

I frowned, something about the familiarity in his (or hers, I couldn't make it out with all the white-noise) tone caught me off guard, how did they know me so well? I responded, "Copy, this is Raven, identify yourself and your situation."

They chuckled, but winced again in pain, _"Ugh … not so bad … but not so good either … I need a little help, think I can borrow one of kid-wonder's toy-soldiers? Heh-heh …"_

I stared at the T-com in shock, _No way … _I pressed down on the button and whispered hurriedly, "X is that you?"

More white-noise … more grunting, and then another cry of pain, I cringed when the reality of the situation finally came down on me and shocked me wide awake. X was in trouble, and he needed my help,_ "… Ahhh … look, I don't got much time, I sent you the coordinates of my location, follow it, but just to warn you the people here know about the Titans and if they find out who you're here for … well … use your imagination. Hope you come soon girl, I – (BANG!)." _

I jumped and gasped softly at the sound of gunshots and the screaming of men, I brought the communicator to my mouth and tried to get a hold of X, just to see if he was alright. I whispered, I didn't know if he dropped whatever radio he was on and I didn't know if the people after him were still within the vicinity, "X? You still there? X …?"

Crackling … static … nothing … no response so I ended the transmission to be sure no one could trace the call. I then flipped it open to dial in the coordinates X said he sent me and a black and green graph came up highlighting the outer edge of Jump City with a blinking red dot and directions. I flew off of my bed and got dressed as fast as I could in my black and white sweat-pants and matching jacket, and a pair of black shoes with steeled heels and toe. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun with a pair of sharp chopsticks, then pulled off the red gem on my forehead and placed it in a jade-box with velvet linings.

I said a small prayer to ensure my control over my demons and recited a small chant to conceal my identity to the human-eye. Afterwards I rushed to my closet and dug out the bo-staff Robin had given me for sparing purposes, I wasn't as good as him and never will be, but I knew I was good enough to impress and that'll have to do. With a quick twist I shrank it down to a size big enough to fit in my pants pocket then snatched my communicator and phased out of my room without the worry of my teammates discovering my disappearance.

How I figured this was that X probably got mixed up with the wrong crowd and all I'll have to do is conduct a small rescue party. Get in, get out, and then get back home before early morning training starts. Not to say that I've done this before with X, no, this was a definite first and it wasn't until I was within the rundown, abandoned, and condemned block in the outskirts of Jump City did realization finally hit him like a 2-ton brick … I had no idea what the hell I was up against!

X said I couldn't use my powers, so I was already a sitting duck.

I had the bo-staff, but I only knew enough to flare and show-off, not actually win a fight!

I'm an idiot!

What the hell was I thinking?!

I sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled to calm myself down while I stood in the middle of the abandoned and empty street, I reached for my communicator and checked for X's position. The graph zoomed in to show a more detailed depiction of the neighborhood I was in, my homing-device positioned me about five hundred yards from X's location, southbound. I quickly put the maze to memory before I snapped it shut, stuffed it back in my pocket and started to jog southward with no plan of attack.

Not how I usually operate, but I didn't know what else to do.

Heroic instinct was to help those in need and X was in need … but as I navigated through the abandoned streets a frightening thought started to take precedence: was this a trap? True, X and I have this mutual relationship, but that didn't necessarily mean we were the best of buds. We still played our roles once our backs were turned and if X were true to his character what's to stop him from stabbing my back when I least expected it? Now would be the perfect time … I was alone … I had no plan … and I wasn't using my powers … I was doomed.

Yet, still, despite this probability I pressed on till I heard the faint sounds of people murmuring, older men coming my way, I stopped and slid into the shadows of one of the open abandoned buildings. With my back against the wall I slid down to the ground and peered out the door to see there were five of them, all with loaded handguns probably scouting out the block looking for X. I pulled out my communicator to check both X and my position, he was only fifty feet away in the next building over, I slipped the com back into my pocket and again peered out the door to see the five men had become just two.

I frowned and slid back up the wall, _They split up … _I thought as I carefully moved against the wall headed for the adjacent wall where a shattered window lead to the alley that'll surely get me in range of X's building. All I had to do was crawl under the first shattered window and I'll be home-free, oh, and make sure not to nick any debris lying on the ground. I came to the first window and got down on the ground with my hands helping to support my weight, I crawled towards the adjacent wall, I was nearly there when a sudden flash of light shone down on me, "Well, well … looks like I found myself a rat."

I quickly reached for the bo-staff, but couldn't unsheathe it for the bastard grabbed a hand full of my hair and yanked me on my feet, a scream ripped through my throat involuntarily as he dragged me out of the building and tossed me on the sidewalk. I rolled onto my hands and knees on the street and gritted my teeth to silence more sounds of pain; I heard the rest of the men gathering around to see what they caught.

One of them, the one that dragged me, snickered as he cocked his gun and pointed it to my head, "Don't move beautiful … it'll be a shame to splatter your pretty brains all over this pavement without getting to know you first, heh-heh."

I sneered and retorted with dry-sarcasm, "Oh you're so hilarious."

Another of the five chimed in with a dark smile on his ugly face, "So what _is _a pretty-girl like you doing in a place like this? Get lost or you jus' lookin' for a good time?"

The rest of his _'friends' _snickered while I gagged in disgust.

I had enough.

The bo-staff was still in my hand and I was pretty sure I could move faster than any of these men could. So with a quick flick of my wrist the bo-staff extended and I twirled it over my head to gain enough momentum to knock the gun out of the first man I could reach. Bewildered he and his friends stared at me in shock while I spun around and smashed the staff against the side of his head hard enough to give him a serious concussion. Though I didn't stop there, his other associates had drawn their guns and started to fire at me. I ran in an arch to keep from getting hit, and when I found an opening I flipped into the air and came down on another hapless victim.

The staff connected to his head and he was out cold before he ever hit the floor, crouched on the ground I held out the staff so it was parallel to my right arm, my peripheral caught movement to my left, but I also detected another sneaking up behind me. It happened too fast for them to register how I beat them, but it was simple. Still crouched to the ground I twirled the staff for momentum and slammed it into the first of two of the men's ribs, then jerked it back to stab the second one in the gut, and flicked it back to the first and caught him in the temple. Before he fell I spun all the way around to clip the second man on the side of the head and down he went for the count.

_BANG!_

The last man fired a bullet I felt just barely graze the tip of my ear, the heat caught me off guard and I yelped, he fired another shot pointblank to my chest, but I dodged to the side, then jumped again when he continued to shoot off round after round in desperation. He growled, "Who the fuck are you?!"

I didn't answer, but when he ran out of bullets and reached for another magazine I held the staff like a javelin and tossed it to his chest, it hit the mark and the man fell to the ground, winded, and in agony as my staff clattered to the pavement with an unceremonious metallic ring. The man gasped desperately for air while I strolled up to him, kicked up my bo-staff and sheathed it before I crouched to his level and scowled, "Where's X?"

He gasped, "Who?"

I had no patience to play interrogation-tactics, I backhanded him hard enough to leave a mark and forcefully repeated, "Where's X?"

He glared at me as he clutched his chest and then with his other hand pointed to the three story building beside the one I had tried to hide in, he wheezed, "Second floor … but don't bother … he's already dead."

The warning didn't phase me, but as I stood up I stomped my heel on his chest and hissed while he cried out in pain, "For your sake, you better hope not …"

I kicked off his chest and ran for the building.

I stood under the spiraling staircase and stared up to check for anymore problems, the stairs were cleared, but I knew were rotting so as I flew up the stairs I made sure to take light steps or else fall through a weak point in the ground. Slightly breathless, I reached the second floor and shoved the door open then called out to X, but all the response I got was my echo down a long hallway with abandoned apartment rooms on either side. I rushed down the hallway peering into each room looking for any signs of life, praying that that bastard didn't lead me in the wrong direction, "X? You here?"

I waited for a response, but still got nothing, I started to get desperate when I reached the end of the hall where the final room had its door closed. I grabbed its door knob and tried to open it, but it was locked, now why would there be a locked room in a condemned building I wondered sarcastically. I leaned back and with a well aimed kick the door flew open and I was assaulted by a cloud of dust. Coughing, I entered the room swatting at the air to clear my vision as I looked around the empty room, I again called out, "X? Are you still alive …?"

I started to look around the apartment; I opened every door in the room till I reached one of the two bedrooms and found much to my surprise an opened T-com in the middle of the floor. I picked it up and concluded it must have been how X contacted me … but where was he? I frowned when my finger touched something wet on the com; I pulled it to my eyes and blinked when the seriousness of the situation finally hit me.

Blood.

Something in me prayed it wasn't X's … but with my unique ability to sense auras I knew the blood was his … his signature … his pain … I felt the memory of the moment lightly touch the back of my skull. I allowed it to help me locate X, and apparently he was in the next room joined with this … the master bathroom. Still holding the communicator I rushed to the room, but paused when I saw a smear of blood on the door, it shocked me, yes, but I had to see for myself if X was really here. So I pushed it open and with a quick scan I found an odd shadow slumped behind the shower door, I pulled it open and gasped when I saw X on the shower floor, propped up on the corner with his chin to his chest.

"X …" I knelt before him and pulled off his mask, but winced when I saw blood smeared at the side of his head and dribbling out the corner of his mouth. He was out cold, I lifted his head and slapped his face, "X! Wake up! You still with me?"

He didn't respond, his eyes were closed and he was cold to the touch, but I could still sense life in him if but faintly. It was then did I look down and found a pool of blood contrasting against the off-white tiled walls and floor. He lost too much … he was going to die! I felt my heart start to race and a cold chill tickle my spine at the thought of losing him, of losing X. I always knew our talks and time together wouldn't last … but I didn't think I'd lose him through death. It was scaring me and with each second I sat here feeling his life-energy slip into oblivion and out of my grasp a feeling within me grew stronger and stronger.

I couldn't lose him, for my selfish reasons, I couldn't lose him.

Not like this.

So with my mind made up, I condemned us both and engulfed him in my darkness, cradling him within my soul-self I soared through the skies fast enough to make Starfire proud and shot into the tower through the roof straight down to the Med-Bay. I dropped him on one of the beds while at the same time phased off his suit so he was in his blood drenched wife-beater and boxers. I couldn't stand still once I took my solid shape; I flicked on the machines and started to hook X into an IV to keep his body hydrated while I sifted through his blood-caked body looking for the wound. I found three, two of them were deep knife gashes and one of them was a bullet still lodged into his side, but much to my great surprise nothing nicked a vital organ.

He got so lucky.

I ran across the room to gather whatever supplies I needed to patch him up while I carefully monitored his stats, particularly keeping a close eye on his heart beat as I dug into the small whole on his side to yank the bullet out of him. Again, he was lucky he was out cold otherwise that would have hurt like all Hell, I'd know. Robin had taken a bullet once and I had the pleasure of tending to his care since Cyborg our usual medic was indisposed … that was when the cold reality of being human hit me so hard I nearly cried.

I began to literally stitch X back together when I heard the door to the Med-Bay hiss open.

I paused and held my breath, expecting the person on the other side to be Cyborg (his bio-cybernetics were attached to the Tower, he'd be the first to know when the Med-Bay was in use) I stared in bewilderment and stupefied shock to find it was Terra in her PJs. Her long blonde-hair pulled into a messy bun; her navy-blue eyes swept the Med-Bay and stopped when she spotted the bloody X on the bed, and then me. She blinked, and then shook her head, "Whoa … this is one weird ass dream …"

I scowled and barked at her to go away, but the words were caught in my throat when X's stats started to drop until finally he flat-lined; he was going into shock. I turned to Terra and shouted at her in such a desperate tone that it made her jump, "Crash-cart!"

She didn't think, she reacted and rolled in the cart, she grabbed the paddles, smeared the gel on and then pressed it flat on X, "Charging! Clear!"

She shocked him once and his body jerked violently, his heart beat jumped, but fell back down, Terra went again, but he wasn't coming back she looked at me and ordered, "Rae! Eppy!"

I injected the epinephrine and she jolted him again, his heart beat returned, but we held our breath if he should crash again, he didn't and I sighed in relief, "He's stabled …"

Terra put the paddles back on the cart and stared at X, then glared at me and pointed, "Who the hell is he?"

I looked at her, then down at X, and sighed as I grabbed the needle and threat and set on to finish his patch up while I softly replied in stark contrast to the freak-out not seconds ago, "I don't know …"

"What do you mean you don't know?" She was genuinely confused, and I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

"I don't know … now unless you're going to help me save his life you're welcome to stay, if not then leave, I don't need you."

"…" she started at me in suspicion, but with a tired sigh she walked around the bed and proceeded to help me tend to X's life in silence.

She may not like me, and may not know the man on the bed was X, but she was a hero and in being a hero she had the strong desire to help those in need. It was her place and her responsibility, and like a good toy-soldier she did so without question.

--

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, never did … DC owns **

**A/N: Okay, jus to get this out of the way that last scene with Terra, complete and total bullshit, I know there's something medically wrong with that whole scene, but I'm not a medic, I haven't taken medical-classes, and I don't plan to. I just felt like I had to put that there just to introduce Terra, because she will be playing a more significant role later on in the story, as will Speedy, so all you ppl who hound me about putting him in don't worry he will be there.**

**As a matter of fact, I should thank you for making the suggestion in the beginning, because I was a bit stuck on how a certain part of the story should go … then I got the Speedy-comment and I was like: Sweet! I know what to do now! So for that *bows* I thank YOU for that idea. You know who you ppl are … so in saying that I also thank you for your reviews they keep me going so keep'em coming!!**

**Until then, l8er daez!!**


	4. Hung Jury

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Hung Jury**

Terra had a big-mouth.

That's all I have to say about her.

Well … no, actually I had a _lot _to say about her, but most of it wasn't nice anyway, so I won't bother saying it. The point is, after she helped me bandage X she went back to her room and I never again saw her or any of the other Titans till the sun came up when I decided to shower and get a fresh change of clothes. I watched the sun rise from the Med-Bay while I sat on a counter watching over the secret-deviant who slept soundly on the bed. Okay, so he was unconscious, but he still looked like he was in a peaceful sleep, it was nice to think of it that way.

Anyway, the moment the clock struck 7 in the am, the doors hissed open and surprise, surprise, Robin stormed in with a very stern look on his face. Decked out in full uniform, he stared at X's unconscious form tucked under a blanket and arched a brow in inquiry. He then swung his gaze around to me on the counter looking bored, tired, sleepy, and about ready to fall over, he gestured to X on the bed and asked, "What happened?"

I sighed tiredly and ran my hands over my head to smooth down my frizzled violet hair, having already come up with a lie I recited it without fault, "I couldn't sleep last night … so I went for a walk –"

"Where?" He interjected, he wasn't going to play the game, and I was thankful for it, I was too tired to think deeply.

So I shrugged and shook my head, "I don't know … I just needed to get out of the Tower so I flew to where there were no people and complete silence." I nodded to X, "Apparently, for some reason a gang of five people were all over him … and in being the people-loving person I am I saved him … unfortunately he passed out from blood-loss, which brings us up to speed."

His eyes narrowed, I could see him sifting through my story in his head and he didn't buy into it entirely. But then again that's to be expected, Robin was a skeptic at birth, he questioned everything … I sometimes wonder if he even questioned his trust in his team despite all that speak of trust on the rooftop last night. Under his mask I could feel his gaze shift back to X as he asked, "Did he tell you who he was?"

"No."

"Why did you bring him here?"

"First place that came to mind."

"Was it a drug related crime?"

"No, checked, he was clean."

"Turf war?"

"Wouldn't know."

"Was he armed?"

"No."

"Where's his wallet?"

"He didn't have one, I think he was mugged."

"By five people?"

"We've seen more kill for less."

He growled in frustration and he glared at me in irritation obviously not liking how I had an answer for everything, "Do you know _anything _about him?"

I glanced at X's monitor and said, "He's coming to, you can ask him yourself."

Robin turned to face X, I remained silent and indifferent as I watched X's face contort into an expression of pain as he squinted his eyes open, but turned away from the bright light when it blinded him. Robin appeared at his side as X lifted a hand up to shield his sensitive eyes from the light, but ended up staring at the IV needle taped to his arm. He followed the tube to the IV bag and finally he gazed around the room till his sights landed on Robin and I felt his immediate anxiety when the situation finally sank in and his memories came back to him. His heartbeat slightly increased, Robin and I both noticed through the monitor he was still hooked up to.

Robin flipped the switch to mute the machine as he stared X down, using the heavy silence and X's obvious anxiety against him to get information, usually the first thing a person says after coming to in a place they did not recognize said a lot. First impressions are powerful, and it was a classic interrogation tactic. Get the information out of the person the moment they regain consciousness in order to retrieve fresh memories. I remained on the counter, still unnoticed by X and I watched him impressively transition from anxiety to curious when he asked, "Where am I?"

"Titan Tower, do you know who you are?"

He nodded and hoarsely responded, "Yeah … but …" he cleared his throat and lathered his dry mouth with a wad of collected saliva and swallowed in a futile attempt at hydrating his mouth and asked, "Why am I in Titan Tower?"

"You got hurt, my friend brought you here and saved your life, do you remember what happened?"

X shot me a quick glance of acknowledgement when Robin finally introduced me, I remained stoic and he disregarded me to narrow his amber eyes on Robin, "Uh … yeah … sort of … I think I was jumped …"

"Do you know by who? And why?"

X groaned and held the side of his head as he lolled it back on the pillow, "Ah … I … I … ugh, my head is killing me …"

"Sir, I know you must be in pain, but I need to know this so that I can make sure the men that attacked you don't do this to anyone else."

"Look man, I know you mean well, but I don't know who they were, they came out of no where and started to beat the crap out of me, they took my cash, my wallet – are we done here? Can I get some pain killers now, or knock me out, either which just help me out here."

"…" Robin stared him down a moment longer before he sighed heavily and figured he wasn't going to get anymore out of him, so he looked to me and gestured for me to take care of X. I leapt off the counter to do as commanded, but as his gloved hand touched my wrist I stopped and leaned my head to his as he whispered through gritted teeth, "Heal him up and get him out of here."

Ooo, I was in trouble.

With a flare of his cape he was out the door and I was left alone with X, but I didn't say anything, only stared at him, but with my eyes I gestured to the cameras stationed all over the room. He took notice of them then again lolled his head back on the bed, closed his eyes, and continued his little charade while I stood beside him and asked, "Besides your head pain, do you feel anything else?"

He snorted, "Yeah … my entire body is aching …" he opened his eyes and turned his head to me and asked, "Is he _always _such a hard-ass?"

I shrugged, "You get use to him, now, just relax and don't panic."

"Why?"

I summoned my powers and directed it towards my hand which started to glow blue along with my glowing white eyes, he tried to sit up when I slowly ran my hands over his wounds, but fell back on the bed when I swept my hand over his head. He closed his eyes then shuddered and relaxed, he sighed tiredly and whispered, "Feels good …"

"That's because I'm taking away the pain … and making it my own …" I replied slowly, and without emotion, he reopened his eyes to stare at me analytically trying to look for signs of pain, but he saw none. I knew he would ask before he opened his mouth, so I elaborated, "I'll feel it when I'm through here … that's why I said relax …"

"You don't have to do this …"

"I know, now stop talking."

He disregarded me to ask, "So after this healing thing … will I be able to walk out of here without crutches or a wheelchair?"

"…" I ignored him and finished up my task by narrowing my full concentration on the bullet wound, it was pretty deep and I knew if I had left it to heal on its own it would take weeks and there would be scarring. Five minutes ticked by and finally I was done, but I gradually let my powers subside, knowing that once it was completely gone I would be hit with a world of pain. Surely enough, the moment I stepped away from his bed, my body stiffened, I shuddered and pressed a hand to my side when the aching, throbbing pain of his bullet wound struck the hardest.

His knife-gashes came next, and then his headache, I hissed softly and stumbled back to the counter. I leaned on it to catch my breath, slowly taking deep breaths, wincing with every intake of air that felt like it was ripping my flesh in two. This agony, I knew, wouldn't last long, maybe just about as long as it took for me to completely heal X, but damn it all it was such a literal pain to ride out. Through gritted teeth I straightened up my back and glanced over my shoulder at the thief who was now sitting up on his bed watching me cautiously. I shook my head when he looked ready to ask if I was alright, I reassured him with a hand held out to silence him, "I'm fine … just give me a moment …"

He tilted his head, then smirked, "Wow, you're like a walking hospital, forget western-meds, if everyone had your kind of power there won't be any use for a hospital."

I rolled my eyes, "If everyone had my kind of power we'd all be in trouble …" I gestured to door at the corner of the room, "… There's a shower if you need it, Starfire took the liberty of buying you some new clothes since I found you half-naked on the street."

His smirk nearly turned into a dark grin, but he stopped himself to play the embarrassed patient who rubbed the back of his neck and made his cheeks flush at the mention of a girl saving and seeing him in such a state of undress. When in reality, if anyone knew where and what to look for, someone would see the slight glitter in his golden eyes, the glitter of mischief. A witty retort was hanging at the tip of his tongue, but for the sake of keeping character he chuckled nervously and stared at his bed-sheets, "Jeez, won't those muggers be surprised to find my clothes aren't worth jack … bought it at Target, half-price."

"What I shame," I shook my head, the pain subsiding enough for me to take deep breaths, "Well, I hate for you to impose, but you really have to get out. Titan Tower isn't exactly the safest place in the world for civilians believe it or not."

"Oh, I don't doubt it," he threw the sheets off of him to find he was in the classic hospital-garb, he sneered at it as he slid off the bed and stood up, wobbly at first, he straightened out and headed for the door I directed him towards, yet paused for a second to stand by me. With a handsome smirk he said, "You know … this may just be me, I don't know, but you look like you could use a vacation …"

"I'll keep that in mind …"

He shrugged, "Just a suggestion."

I watched him till he entered the bathroom, then glanced up at one of the cameras in the room and knew full well that either Cyborg or Robin were watching me interact with X. I also knew with hidden-satisfaction that neither would find any hint of falseness on my part. _Sorry Robin, but you can try to catch me if you can, there's no shame in trying._ I sighed heavily and leaned my full weight against the counter when a wave of dizziness swept over my head. I was tired as hell … I needed to sleep, I needed to eat, I needed to meditate, ugh! I was just full of problems that I've neglected and deprived of solution, or maybe it wasn't that at all … maybe it was just me, maybe _I _was the problem.

Maybe I've been the problem all along, and every solution I've tried to find to expel my unhappiness only made the problem (myself) worse … for Azar's sake I was seeing X behind my friend's back and not feeling guilty about it. Should I feel guilty? Why should I feel guilty? Really now, let me think about this seriously for a second: what was I doing wrong? I didn't know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this guy in the shower was Red X, I _assumed _he was from the moment I met him.

I shook my head, _No, that doesn't work, he was in the genuine Red X suite just last night … he _IS _Red X … _I thought in disregard and I scratched that thought off my list.

Okay then, I knew he was Red X, I took him into the Tower, behind enemy lines and I didn't properly confine him in a level-4 containment cell which is required of all villains that should pass through the Tower's Med-Bay. Well … he was a special case, he nearly died in my arms, and the level-4 containment cell only had so much for me to work with to save his life. He needed help … was I to discriminate against him just because of what he's done? He was still human, I couldn't let him die. I didn't need to review the Ethic's Code to know that his life took priority over his sentence, surely that was understandable.

However … I didn't tell Robin or Terra, or my whole team for that matter who he really was … it was a secret that they didn't ask about.

Well … if they didn't ask there was nothing to tell and if there was nothing to tell who's to say I lied?

Or was I making excuses for myself?

Was I really lying to my team whenever they asked me where I've went and what I do in my long hours away from the Tower? I told the truth, I went out into the town, and I walked around the city … they never asked if I met other people, or what happened during those walks … in fact, most of the time they never bothered to acknowledge my arrival at all! So really … was it _my _fault they didn't know Red X was in the Tower, right now, getting dressed in the Med-Bay bathroom and preparing to leave?

Yeah, sure, I had the knowledge and the evidence to lock this guy away for the rest of his life for all the crimes he's committed; I could do it right now. I could end his life entirely faster than he could ask: why. I could do it … but I won't … now why is that I wonder? Why was I being so selfish? Why did I want this person to roam free? Was it really because he had become such good company to me in the pass six months that I was reluctant to let that familiarity go?

We weren't friends.

We were acquaintances.

We weren't even colleagues.

We were rivals.

We didn't know that much about each other.

In fact, we didn't know _anything _about each other.

We never asked personal questions, it was an unspoken rule between us, we never got close, even physical touch wasn't stimulating in the least (at least to me). Then it hit me when I heard the door hiss open and a freshly clean X stepped out of the steamy bathroom with a relieved sigh. He smiled at me and I blinked, _Stalemate …_ I thought quietly to myself in silent inward horror. We hit the point in any relationship where an opportunity presented itself and we could either take this to the next level, get to know each other better, become closer, become best of friends. Or completely sever all ties and break it off … end it peacefully … or if we failed to take this opportunity … end it violently, with one of us either in prison … or dead.

There was no gray area in this relationship, but we were gray people.

We were the exceptions to a society that has yet to catch up on the fact that not everything was black and white.

But this thing we have going on, it _is _black and white.

We can't just call it quits and expect everything to go back to normal … not even if we decided to end this peacefully without fighting. No, there would surely be blackmail involved, I knew who he was, so he'd have to watch his back; he knew what I've done, so I'd have to be careful not to anger him. We can't be in an intimate relation unless we were sure to go the full nine-yards as X so lamely put it. With the kids, the house on the hill, the white picket-fence, the dog, the cat, everything; because then if it ended, it wouldn't be pretty … it would be nasty, ugly, and violent.

Yes, I now had a greater understand of just where this was going, the alternative to such a messed up hand fate had dealt us.

We had to get to know each other better … we had to become close enough friends that even betrayal would become a moral dilemma for a guy like X, but we also had to maintain a visible wall that clearly stamped the boundary which we _could not_ cross.

I could do that … I've done it with Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy as practice … I can do it with Red X to.

The thief in mention now in a navy-blue collared short-sleeved button-up polo, and matching dark charcoal gray Dickies snapped his fingers in my face (like he usually does to gain my attention) his amber eyes stared at me hesitantly looking for signs of life, "Hello … you still with me?"

I blinked up at him and then glanced at his attire, "Huh … they fit."

He snickered and spun around to show himself off, "Tell your friend thanks, I didn't think she'd know my size, I'm almost curious to ask how."

I shrugged, "I told her you looked like Robin and she rolled with it."

There was a dark look in his eyes that warned me to never again compare him to Robin … maybe it was a guy thing, but I noticed none of the guys I know like to be compared to any of the other guys I knew. It was almost childish, if not a ridiculous phobia of theirs. However, in stark contrast to his dark look he smiled a smile that never reached his golden eyes, "I don't know about looking like him … that's a stretch, heh-heh."

I could practically smell the bile he chocked on at the back of his throat before he swallowed it back down for even complimenting my leader. I stifled a chuckle and refrained from smiling as I pushed off the counter and stood before him, "Right … well … let's get you out of here and back into the city."

"Sounds good to me."

With that I lifted up my right arm and with it the darkness of my power connected from my body with my arm my eyes glowed white and before I engulfed him I warned him, "This might feel funny at first, so hold your breath."

I didn't give him the chance to ask why before I wrapped him up into my soul-being and shot out of the tower towards the city, I landed near the docks hidden within the maze of empty containers, just incase Robin had a tracker on me. I dropped X on his feet, but made sure his back was against one of the containers so when he was suddenly drenched in sunlight he didn't fall over in shock. He did lose his balance and leaned on the container with a shudder, goose-bumps crawled up and down his arms and he shivered, "Damn, that's cold as hell!"

"Its pure darkness," I told him as I took shape, "pure darkness requires no light. No light, no heat, basic science."

He shot me a dry look, "Yeah, right … but thanks for savin' my ass last night sunshine, I owe ya one."

I frowned, "I don't think you should be talking like that … they could have bugged your clothes …"

He shook his head and flicked his wrist dismissively, "Nah, I checked, there's nothing, I'm clean as a whistle. So … aren't you going to ask me what I was doing last night?"

"Will it be worth my while?"

"Sort of … I … um … took this artifact from some museum and sold it to a couple of guys, but they wouldn't pay up, they thought they could take the artifact and the money and leave me for dead."

I bit down on my lip, _Get to know him better … get to know him better … _I chanted in my head and forced out the question, "Does this happen often for you?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, like he usually does when nothing was a big deal for him, "Yeah, but its part of the job, this time I was just … kind of off kilter …" he looked at me, and not just looked at me, there was something in his eyes that told me I should know why he was off kilter last night, like he expected me to know the answer.

Typical of him though, Mister Know-It-All expecting everyone else to know it all too, I sighed and with a shake of my head I shrugged, "Whatever, I gotta go, Robin's not too pleased with me bringing home strays so, try not to piss any one else off while I'm gone."

I began to hover in the air as he grinned devilishly and winked, "You got it sunshine, and you know I wasn't kidding about that vacation thing … you could really use some time to yourself ya know."

"Maybe …" I hovered for a moment when another thought crossed my mind.

X put his two fingers to the side of his head, about he give me his two-finger salute as he started to walk out of the container maze saying, "Well, see ya around girl."

I looked up at him and shouted, "Wait!" He stopped and looked over his shoulder with suspicion, curiosity, and hesitation in his body-language, I didn't blame him. This'll be the first time I ever stopped him from leaving, I touched back down to Earth and jogged to him, and he looked down at me and waited patiently for me to tell him what I wanted. I stared into his golden eyes, and gulped, moment of truth, "You're serious about that vacation thing right?"

He started at me for a second then slowly nodded his head, "Yeah …"

"Well … if I got one, could I spend it with you?"

"…" Slowly a brow rose up into his bangs and he started at me incredulously, as if waiting for the punch line of a joke, when it never came he blinked and shrugged, operating solely on autopilot with the shock still trying to settle he said, "Uhh … you could … but why?"

"Why would I spend time with you?"

"Yeah …"

"Why … not?"

"…" He started at me analytically, like Robin, he was trying to sift through my words to find any fault, or in this case any sign of a trap. He wouldn't find any, I was genuine, I wanted to spend time with him so I could set us both up for a stabled friendship and I'd be set for life. It wasn't a fool-proof plan and I expected a few things to go wrong, but who said I was a genius? It was the best thing I could think of to assure my place as a Titan while still keeping X as a friend.

That is … if he'll accept my offer.

I tilted my head and then snapped my finger in his face as he's done so with me on so many occasions, he blinked and shook his head to shake himself from his thoughts then narrowed his eyes on me, "Okay, I'm sorry, I must have heard something crazy, but did you just say you wanted to spend time with me?"

"Yes."

"As in … you want to get to know me kinda time?"

"Yes."

"… Okay, imma go out on a ledge here and ask … are you asking me out on a date?"

I scowled, "Of course not."

He shrugged, "A guy could dream."

I rolled my eyes, "Why do you keep asking me these questions? I thought you'd jump at a chance like this, because it means you get to know more about me too."

"Yeah, but I want to know where it's coming from … did my almost dying scare you or something, because I'll let you know right now Rae, I'm not going anywhere. Death will not take me when I am not ready, hell no."

A bold statement … but what struck me the most in his entire string of words was the new nickname. Well, it wasn't new, everyone on my team calls me Rae, but this'll be the first time I've ever heard X say it … and so easily too … it just rolled off his tongue like it was the most natural thing in the world. Come to think of it, every other time when he called me sunshine it sounded robotic, like he was supposed to say it … but when he said Rae, it was different somehow. Nicer.

I stored that thought in the back of my head before I responded with a scoff, "Granted your death would be most tragic, but this isn't about that. We know enough to destroy each other, and you know if it came down to it you'd take the shot –" he was about to protest, but I held up my hand, "– I had the opportunity to put you away for life … but I didn't, because I figured it wouldn't be fair to kick you when you were already down. The hero-complex in me wouldn't allow it … but next time … you just don't know."

I waited for the reality to sink in, and thankfully, X was smart enough to understand quickly and his smirk returned, "I see … I'm surprised you don't trust me now, I thought we had a pretty good idea of what we got going … you really think I'd give you up?"

"In all honesty, yes."

"…" he stared at me again with that analytical look that unnerved me.

I hated being analyzed.

It made me feel like I had to prove myself.

I slowly blinked my eyes, giving him a moment to think and when I looked up at him again to find him still staring at me I impatiently shrugged my shoulders, "So … what's the verdict?"

He shifted his stance to weigh most of his weight on one leg as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily, he ran a hand over his dampened, tangled, messy brown hair then shrugged and dropped his arm to his side like dead weight, "Hung-jury …"

I frowned, "What's so hard about saying yes or no? I don't _have _to take a vacation to get to know you."

"Yeah, but come on you're making me feel guilty by putting me on the spot here."

"You know what guilt feels like?"

"Ooo, that hurts sunshine, that really hurts."

I shook my head and flicked my hand in dismissal, "Never mind, sleep on it if you have to … I've got to get back to the Tower."

"Whatever you say … see ya around …"

He turned his back on me and I couldn't explain it, but a dreadful chill went down my spine when with strange conviction he gave him his two-finger salute, like this'll be the last I'd ever see it. I tried to put it out of my mind as I hovered a foot in the air, then two feet, and slowly continued to rise, till I cleared the ten feet tall container. That's when I turned my head in the direction of Titan Tower and the world suddenly exploded into a brilliant array of stars after something silver, shiny, and hard knocked me across the temple.

I fell to the ground on my back with a painful groan, my ears started to ring, my head throbbed, and worst of all my attacker became attacker_s _when I felt more than one set of hands touch my body. They grabbed me and forced me on my stomach, my hands tied behind my back, my chin to the dirt, I tried to get my blurry vision to focus, but try as I might all I could concentrate on was how much my head hurt. I felt something cut into my wrist and softly cried out in pain, but that cry was quickly silenced when a red adhesive tape was slapped on my mouth.

My body, through my forearms and shoulder was then hoisted to its feet while at the same time a black bag was draped over my head and tied around my neck.

The world went dark … and I finally blacked out.

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, DC does**

**A/N: Finally! Things are starting to get interesting, and so the adventure thingy begins!! YAY!! Well … not so much yay for Raven as it is for the rest of us so … (shrugs) if you want to know what happens next just give me your reviews and I'll **_**THINK**_** about updating the next chapter, mwhaaahahahahahaaa!! …. imma go now …**

**Oh, and quick note, I hope you guys read through Raven's thought process carefully cuz she'll be referring back to it throughout the story when there's no dialoging, I mean the stalemate-part … :/ … I guess you can say she'll be doing a lot of thinking in this story … so, yep, besides that … **

**L8er daez!**


	5. Resistance is Futile

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Resistance is Futile**

"_Come on!" The little boy laughed, his face glowing as bright as ten-thousand suns, his brown hair lighter in color and his eyes, those wonderful amber eyes that she can stare into for forever-and-a-day. Little Raven found herself blushing at the embarrassing thought of admiring those beautiful eyes of his. She didn't even know who the boy was … but … when he wrapped his little fingers around her own little hand it felt … right. Like they've been together for ages, been through hard ships, through tough times, and happy memories. Everything felt … _Right._ He tugged her down a trail still smiling, "Come on, Raven!"_

_Little Raven glanced at the trail and gulped when sudden dread filled her little heart._

_The trail was simple and plain, like an average every-day beaten-trail grassy and basically innocent in appearance created by many different people, at many different times. Raven, however, knew better … there was something forbidden about this trail, something that warned her she wouldn't like what was at the end._

_But still …_

_The boy pulled at her hand, tugged her, lead her to the trail, his impatient eyes pleaded with her, he needed her to come with him, and with one step … she caved. His eyes sparkled, like multiple exploding fireworks going off at once and lighting the night sky. It bedazzled her, hypnotized her, made her feel like everything was going to be alright and with every other step she took it was no longer heavy and full of hesitation or dread or reluctance. Suddenly, she was at running pace with him, racing him down the beaten-trail, racing him to the end, smiling, laughing, just letting go and being free, being a kid._

_She gripped his hand tighter, he held onto hers equally, both of them happy they had a friend; happy they didn't have to travel alone anymore._

_Then … they grew tired … all their running exhausted them … and now they were walking, hand in hand, just a boy and girl content with living in the moment. Smiling and giggling at stupid things that didn't make any sense, carefree at its fullest. Raven loved it, her heart so full of joy and laughter … she didn't want it to end. She never wanted it to end … that's why when he let go of her hand … her world …_

Shattered.

_The trail came at an abrupt jagged-cliff end and the boy, with his back to the end of the trail and his hand pulled away from hers still smiled naively and laughed while he walked backwards. The Joy, the Rapture, the Happiness, the Love she felt was replaced with nothing but Fear and Vulnerability. The once grassy and brightly lit perfect world had morphed into an ugly picture of shadows … darkness … ghouls-and-ghosties loomed all around her. She brought her arms up to wrap around herself as she stopped dead in her tracks too frightened to move, too scared to look up for fear of a shadow-monster that might snatch her away._

"_Raven …" the boy … no longer 'little' grinned down at her, still walking backwards, he held out his hand to the now older Raven, he nonchalantly jerked his head back to the trail, but did he know the trail ended? There was nothing but cliff there! Raven's face contorted into horror when she realized he didn't know! He didn't know he was about to fall to his death over a jagged-cliff! She opened her mouth to scream, to warn him, to tell him to stop, to come back to her, but she couldn't. Fear silenced her voice, and she couldn't say a word, but held out her hand to him, violently shaking her head, trying to tell him to stop, to come back to her … but he kept going._

_Further …_

_Further …_

_His hand still held out for her to take, but she was rooted in her spot, she couldn't go to him. Not now … not ever …_

_And his grin dropped to a frown, he tilted his head … and suddenly … that same sense of pleading, wanting, and needing her to be there with him returned to his beautiful amber eyes. Calling to her softly, begging her to follow him, _needing _her to hold his hand and come with him, but she couldn't and tears leaked down the sides of her face in frustration as he dropped his hands to his sides and stopped just at the edge of the cliff. His frown … suddenly turning to a passive, stoic stare, and for a second, Raven was hopeful._

_He wasn't going to fall … now all he had to do was turn around and notice his dire mistake so he could come back to her!_

_Raven prayed …_

_And prayed …_

_And prayed …_

_But they were ignored when he once again held out his hand to her and smiled sadly while his eyes still begged her to follow him he whispered sweetly, "… Come with me …"_

_He took a step back …_

_And he fell … _

_With not a scream …_

_And Raven, be it through pure shock, or disbelief suddenly managed to find her voice all too late._

_She screamed._

--

On pure reflex alone, my body jerked itself awake with a sudden jolt and my eyes flew wide-open. My heart, still pounding in my ear, ringing in my head, and shivering as cold unyielding chills raced up and down my spine. I gasped when my heart ached, stricken with sorrow and grief, a tear rolled down the side of my face, I twisted on my side and gripped the pillow my head was on tightly trying to get a hold of myself, of reality, but everything was blending. I went vertigo … I suddenly couldn't tell what was up, down, left, or right, right from wrong, evil from good.

Everything was just so confusing …

Everything hurt … especially my head … why?

Why was my head hurting so bad – then it hit me … I've been ambushed, _No, I was lured into a trap … _another part of my mind thought and my heartache returned as I slowly propped myself on my elbow to notice I was laying on an old musty cot. Weakly holding my body up, I also felt my cheeks were wet and my vision was blurry with tears, with my free hand I wiped it from my face and stared at the moisture on my fingers for a moment, dumbfounded. I was crying … my heart was breaking … I fisted my hands when the exhausting reality of the truth finally sank in; _Betrayed … again … _

Tiredly, my elbow gave out from under me and I plopped back onto my cot while I stared at the cold-steel wall, my violet eyes watered over yet again as a new wave of pain came over my body. From my heart radiating outward with my throbbing head, and my burning wrists, I sucked in a shaky breath and shakily exhaled to try and expel the self-pity from my mind. There would be time to beat myself for my stupidity once I found out why and where I was. So, sitting up again and tucking my legs under me I wiped the tears from my face and sighed when I took notice of an overhead. I looked up expecting the ceiling to be tiny, however was shocked to find that the cot I was resting on was actually a bunk-bed, did I have a cellmate?

I swung around, careful of the metal frame of the bunk to softly plant my bare feet on the freezing-cold metal ground, I paused for a moment to make note of my attire and much to my bittersweet satisfaction I was wearing pants. Dark blue in color with matching sky blue collared button-up and on the left-breast pocket was apparently my prison number. I sighed again and blinked as I looked around the tiny cell with a stainless-steel toilet at the corner, a small desk across from the bed, and to my left reinforced glass-shields that no-one can break.

I should know … I could feel the magnetic pulse and hear its silent invasive hum that reminded those behind it they weren't getting out. Not even those with powers, and speaking of powers, mine were completely suppressed, I scowled, _Good to know the technology actually works … but where am I? _It looked like I was in Jump City's Super-Max Lockdown Facility, but there was something different about it … it was too … _metallic. _

The walls, the floor, the ceiling … even the bunks were welded into the wall.

Privately owned perhaps?

Had to be … the government wouldn't imprison me … would they?

Back on Azarath … they did, because they feared the power I had.

I was locked in that tower with no one but my mother and the monks to interact with, I knew I was a special case because I would occasionally gaze down at the city and watch and wonder what a _normal _person's life was like. It was probably more interesting than mine's filled with hours, upon hours of meditation since the fear of losing control was always so real. With every little tantrum I'd throw as a child the building would shudder … I remember one time Arella had to knock me out to keep the peace.

The monks, scared for the safety of their own families threatened to banish us from Azarath at one point in time when it was discovered the Disciples of Trigon had infiltrated the Temple and attempted to steal me away to ensure their master's return. Of course their plan never worked, but afterwards the monks decided that for the betterment of mankind I had to remain in the tower to continue my training, but the animosity had grown thicker. They treated me with open discrimination … all they saw was a portal … never a person and at the tender age of ten that kind of indifference does things to a person.

I ended up becoming cold and introverted, contained and locked away from the world when I discovered even my own mother was afraid of me.

But … what's done is done … and what has been done can't be undone, so I just let the memory drift back into the dark corners of my mind to dwell once more as I again focused on my current predicament. I was probably imprisoned for my powers and my abilities, but unlike Azarath who feared it, whoever wants me now, wanted the raw power I was born with. The downside to being a half-bred demon I suppose, I attracted the crazies.

Speaking of crazies, I glanced up at the bunk overhead and wondered if there was someone else with me. I was just about to get up and have a look for myself when the bed atop of me shifted and a set of legs swung over to dangle just to my left. The person was also bare-footed and turned out to be X when _he _dropped from the top bunk to the ground. With his right arm still on his bunk, he crossed one leg over the other and grinned down at me, "I was wonderin' if you were really awake … didja know you sigh a lot when you sleep?"

I blinked, then scowled as the rage within me boiled hot with revenge, I lashed out before thinking. Faster than he could blink my right fist connected to his jaw with enough force to throw him back against the glass-shield. It repelled him and he bounced back to me, I didn't expect it and gasped when his entire weight fell on me. I made a grab for the top bunk to help my balance, but my foot got tangled with his and we ended up crashing to the ground with his dead weight on top of me. I nearly screamed in outrage, but held it in as I shoved him, "Get off of me!"

He managed to prop himself up on his hands while his fiery molten eyes found mine and he glared down at me with a small mark on his lower jaw where I hit him. I had to admit, it made me feel _damn _good to have left a mark, he snapped at me, "What the fuck is your problem?!"

I screamed, "You set me up!"

He sneered, "And you're surprised?"

Unbelievable!

"Bastard!"

With gritted teeth I crawled out from under him, curled my hand into another fist and sent it flying, but he caught it and when I raised my other hand to slap him he caught that wrist to. This time I did scream in outrage, I hated to be overpowered, just hated it! I fought for control, but without my powers he was stronger, much stronger, he ended up shoving me back to the ground and pinned my wrists together against my chest so it felt like I was chocking myself. He then effortlessly slid my entire body back under him so he straddled my stomach and kept me pinned, I growled, "Get off me."

"Not until you've calmed down."

I closed my eyes, I couldn't look at him otherwise the self-pity would return and all I'd see is the betrayal and not the thief, the thief that I've always known from the beginning would do something like this to me. So I repeated with more force, "Get off me now, X."

"Promise to play nice if I let you go?"

He was mocking me!

The bastard!

My teeth grinded together so hard it felt like they'd crack under pressure, my jaw started to hurt and my knuckles were still pressed against my windpipe making it very uncomfortable to breath. I didn't respond, I couldn't, so I kept my eyes closed and my head turned away from him, patiently waiting for him to release me, and within a minute he finally did. First he let my wrists go, but gently slipped his warm hand into mine and as if I were nothing but a feather to him, he hoisted me back onto my feet. I yanked my hand from his like he were a leper and dusted my shoulders from the imaginary dust that had fallen on it still refusing to look at him.

He frowned, "Aw, come on; don't be like that sunshine … it was a job, nothing personal."

That's when I snapped back, "I saved your ass and lied to my leader for you, don't you _dare _tell me this isn't personal."

He arched a brow and scoffed, "Well, I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I'm as much a prisoner here as you are, so when I say it's a job, take my word for it."

Childishly I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted as I turned away from him to glare at the far wall, curiously wondering why no guard had come in to break us up … I was pretty sure we were making an awful lot of noise. I narrowed my eyes and curtly asked, "Where is here anyway?"

"Don't know."

I shot him a dry look, he shrugged, "Whoever they are, they blindfold you and sedate you just before transfer, so I really don't know."

I frowned, "Then how did you plan my capture?"

"I didn't, they did … they told me everything through the com-link in this room."

"How have they been feeding you?"

He gestured to the small desk, "There's an opening in the wall, but forget about finding a way out through there, it's too small for even you to crawl through, no windows, no recess, and I haven't seen any other prisoners either … but I have good reason to suspect there are more than just us."

"How so?"

He shrugged, "Just a feeling … I mean, in a place this high-tech why waste it on just two lousy human-beings."

I refrained from letting him know I wasn't entirely human, he didn't have to know and quite frankly I was forcing myself to talk to him. Despite the fact him helping in my capture was his job to do, I was still mad he went through with it. Just goes to show I can't trust him as far as I can throw him … but then again with my powers that was a bad metaphor, I can throw his ass pretty damn far if I wanted to. Lord knows, I want to so badly. Still grinding my teeth I scooted away from him and plopped back down on my bunk, I propped my elbows on my knees and tucked my chin on my fists as I glared at the ground.

X slid under his bunk to sit with me, but on the far side with his back leaning on the post and one leg propped up on my bed, I was tempted to shove him off just to spite him, but figured I've been childish enough. Now I had to set aside what he's done to figure out just what the hell was going on … so just to fill in some blanks I asked, "Did they tell you why you're here or why I'm here?"

He shook his head, "Nope … I haven't had any human interaction since last night when they abducted me after you left. I was stabbed twice, passed out, then woke up here in this cell, given the instructions and then was sedated and the next thing I know I'm in the building wearing my Red X suite getting shot at. I called you, and the rest is history … truth be told."

I stared at him, not analytically like he usually does to me, but thoughtfully, just mulling his words around in my head and drawing my own conclusions for the reason I was here. I blinked away from him and slid further back on my bunk to press my back against the wall and curl my knees up to my chest so to rest my chin on them. With my arms wrapped around my legs I thought a loud just to see what X would say if he chimed in, "If you were just here for one night … or more depending on how long I've been out … then that means whoever imprisoned us must want us together specifically. If anything those five men I went up against were probably tests, to see if I was worthy enough to be your partner."

He frowned, "So you actually fought a few people, without your powers?"

I nodded, "I do know hand-to-hand combat for situations such as these," I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, "but I suppose what good are they if we're stuck in a cage built to hold both you and especially me in. Unpickable locks, power suppressant technology … this was planned … someone has been watching us for a while; they know our strengths and our weaknesses. I bet if we were told to do their bidding they could blackmail us if we don't do so cooperatively."

He scoffed, "With my suit gone, it's gonna take a lot of convincing for your teammates to believe you've been hangin' with the enemy, especially since they have to prove I am Red X, and they can't do that without the suit."

"The suits in my room, I didn't have time to hide it properly, so all Robin has to do is look in my closet and we're both finished."

"…" he blinked, and then said aloud what we were both thinking, "Fuck."

I inwardly nodded in agreement; we were shit out of luck and jolly well fucked if we didn't find a way out of here and fast. I had no clue how long it's been since I've been out and judging from what X had told me about the sedation he would have been out cold too, so estimating from his given information would be useless. For all I know they could have upped his dose and days could have passed by with the rest of my teammates not having a single clue about where I was.

That was a scary thought.

It meant that I was all on my own.

With X as my common – or _only _– alley, how ironic, the one time I don't want to even know him is the time when I need him the most … the Fates have a cruel sense of humor indeed. I chewed on my lower lip as the cell was engulfed in a pregnant silence with nothing but the constant humming of the electro-magnetic glass-shield to fill the quite. Beside me, still leaning against the post, X had tilted his hand and begun to twirl a tuft of hair sticking out from the side of his head. Only the tuft was small so it kept evading his grasp and he kept trying to grab a hold of it, the constant struggle with the distant look on his face made him seem almost adorable.

Like a little boy when he scratches his head trying to make sense of whatever his parents were trying to teach him.

That is … if X even had any parents.

I only remember once he had mentioned he had a cool-uncle that taught him how to pick basic padlocks, and about that story of his birth and his mother, but he spoke about him and his mother in the past-tense, so I assumed they were dead. I never bothered to ask to confirm and I won't bother to now. It was a thought that occurred to me just now as we sat here in silence. My eyes transfixed on the twirling of his fingers and his evasive little tuft; tempted to ask him why he's doing it now when I've never seen him show me a single little character trait of his that made him human I again refrained from asking and tore my gaze away from him.

Just in time for his amber eyes swung in my direction; I stared at the far wall while I felt him stare at me. I let him for now, until I began to feel uncomfortable and I narrowed my eyes on him and his analytical look, "What?"

He blinked and shrugged, "Nothing, just thinking."

I decided to humor him, "Of …?"

"Well … back at the docks, you said you wanted to get to know me better …" He crawled closer to me on my bed and I flinched when he plopped on his back in front of me, with one hand tucked under his head and another resting on his chest. His brown hair fell over his right eye while his left peered up at me with a smirk, "Well, we got all the time in the world now."

I rolled my eyes, "That was before I discovered how much of a weasel you really are."

"Seriously, why are you so upset? We were never close … we never had any strong ties … I thought you'd suspect something like this."

"I did when I came to your rescue …"

"So why are you mad at me? What did I honestly do to piss you off?"

"…" I couldn't respond, because now that I thought of it, he was right … I really had no reason to feel betrayed or mad. I _did _suspect he'd pull something like this, and I never really trusted him enough to consider him a friend … until recently. I inwardly sighed heavily, it was all too complicated, maybe it was a repercussion of what Terra and Malchior had done to me that made me think this way. I don't know, and I was getting tired of thinking, caring, and sitting the way I was sitting all curled up in this corner. However, I couldn't stretch out since X was laying on my bed, trapping me against this wall, I was tempted to kick him off (and maybe crack a rib or two just to spite him) but I didn't.

Instead I crossed my legs, lotus-style and tucked my hands under my legs as I watched the hand on his chest rise and fall with every breath he took. He lifted up that hand to snap a finger in my face so I could respond to his question, so I did before he could snap them, "Forget about it now X, it doesn't matter anymore."

He put his hand back on his chest and shrugged, "I know, but we got nothing better to do … you missed feeding time and soon enough it's going to be –" he cut himself off when the lights in the cell and outside suddenly shut off and we were both drenched in dark silence expect for the consistent hum of the shield that remained. I could barely see X in this darkness, but I could feel him rolling out from my bed till he removed himself completely while grumbling, "Lights out, Rae."

I guess his way of saying goodnight.

I didn't bother to question it, only laid my head back on my pillow feeling the remnant of his body heat on my bed, it warmed my body that I hadn't known had gotten cold enough to send a chill down my spine. There were no blankets to cover me and the freezing-metal just seemed to mock me as I curled into a tight ball to retain my warmth. I knew I wouldn't sleep through this artificial night, when being incarcerated, who would be able to sleep at all? I chewed on my lower lip and stared at the far wall (or where I thought was the far wall) as I allowed my mind to wonder and weave and tumble and ponder about everything.

The seconds ticked … the minutes piled … and the hours stretched on endlessly.

The humming shield lulled us into a false sense of security.

I knew X wasn't asleep, because twice he's shifted on top of me and huffed heavily.

He seemed to have a sort of pattern that let me know he wasn't one for keeping still; he had to be in continuous motion when he is awake and a small part of me was glad that I wasn't alone in the non-sleep department. However I never bothered to speak up, I remained silent throughout the _'night' _until finally the lights exploded back on after what I guestemated was at least 8 hours.

Bright florescent lights that I wasn't prepared for temporarily blinded me, I hissed and stuffed my face into my pillow and I heard X above me growl and curse in equal discomfort, "You'd think they'd give us a fuckin' warning bell or something, God!"

I couldn't agree more.

Then, suddenly a loud: _BUUUZZZZZZ!!!_

Shocked us both out of bed, I nearly slammed my head on X's bunk, but was smart enough to roll out and stand with my back pressed to X's back, both of us on high-alert. I fisted my hands and prepared for anything when the buzzing stretched on for what felt like five minutes. It was deafening and it kept either of us from relaxing, then, the intercom voice X was talking about boomed within the tiny room and enveloped us.

Metallically distorted, it said, _"Resistance is futile; press your backs against the shield, palms flat on the glass, failure to comply may result in death, you have five seconds to comply."_

From out of the top corners of the walls guns flipped out and aimed at our chests and heads with the assistance of laser-pointers. We looked back at one another, then quickly rushed to the glass and did as was told. Within a matter of seconds our hands sank through the glass and were grabbed by cold leather gloved hands, we were cuffed with what I felt were familiar magnetic laser-locks and then an odd metal ring was slipped over our heads. I gasped when it clamped around my eyes and completely blinded me, then yelped when my entire body was pulled through the glass and out into God-only-knows where.

I stumbled a bit trying to find my footing as the two men (I assumed they were men with how large their hands were clamped around my forearms) pushed me forward and guided me in their direction. I tried to make out where X was, but every time I tried to glance over my shoulder one of the men would shoved my head back around and force it down. Total control … that's all that came to mind was total, absolute, complete control. It would be the only other reason why they didn't want us seeing where we were. They controlled the day-time, the night-time, when we ate and when we slept … it was daunting, but effective since neither X nor myself could figure out just how the hell to get out.

We walked for what seemed like forever, but was surely only five minutes … taking turn after turn, stairway after stairway, hallway after hallway and they were all the same … metal. The sound of our footsteps were echoed and sounded like we were in a tin can, even my feet were starting to freeze at how cold and unforgiving the ground was. Until, finally, we came to a stop and I listened at the hissing of an automatic door slide open, but it sounded like many sharp parts … as if the door were circular and spun open like a flower. Besides that, I was shoved through the door till I fell against the far wall of the small room.

I grunted and pushed off of it; with my hands still cuffed and my vision still blocked I spun around to where I assumed the door was and shouted, "What the hell is going on?!"

Yet, before I even finished half of what I said the door spun closed and locked, I sucked in a deep breath and gasped softly when the ground shuttered and I felt myself moving downward … apparently I was on an elevator, but going where? I was still confined to the cuffs and the headgear, and much to my dismay and growing panic, X was not with me.

I was all alone.

I bit down on my lower lip and waited for the elevator to stop, when it finally did, it was with such a violent jerk I fell off balance and hit the ground on my butt and my head knocked against the metal wall, I winced, "Ahh …"

Another of those flower-doors opened and I gritted my teeth when I heard more guards come in after me, but this time, they were female. I felt one of their breasts brush against my arm as they lifted me back onto my feet, and plus their hands were much smaller. Yet, their rough treatment remained the same; they all but dragged me out of the lift and into another room, one where I felt much more activity, more life than ever before. Hell, I actually heard other's talking, having actual conversations, but the atmosphere remained the same.

Daunting, and controlling … for all I knew this was just another way to trick my mind into a false sense of security.

The women dragged me up a few steps then stopped, one of them let me go and I listened as she unlocked another room and then with the same manner as the men, they harshly shoved me into this new room. This time it was without the pretty glass shield, I listened to the heavy steel doors slam shut, and the moment it did the ring around my head loosened and fell heavily around my neck. The cuffs behind my back fell off and hit the ground with a heavy _CLANK!!_ Once I was free I did a 360 to peer around my new small 4x3ft cell and scowled, "Great … now what …"

The moment I said that a section of the far wall from the door flipped and a blue screen appeared before me, it seemed to be calculating something in another language … but a language that made me do a double-take. It looked familiar; I know I've seen it before, but where? I wasn't fast enough to decipher what it was and ended up stumbling back into the door when a harmless laser (I didn't know that at the time) shot out and scanned my enter body. From head to toe and then zipped back into the screen and spoke in Azarian, it took a moment for me to register and to translate my native tongue.

It said, _"Raven Rachel Roth, Central Azarath, fifty percent human, fifty percent unknown origin. Confirm?"_

The screen showed a simple: _Yes _or _No _button for me to press, but it was still written in Azarian.

I frowned and hesitantly scooted closer to the screen, tapped on _Yes, _and the screen transitioned to black with blue equalizer lines as the computer spoke, _"Raven Roth, you are chosen to participate in an underground tradition dating back to the origins of life itself. Failure to cooperate will result in your permanent expulsion that involves your ultimate demise." _I sneered, _Seems like everything results in Death here, _I thought bitterly as the wall to my right flipped open and laid out before me was a new change of clothes (that oddly enough resembled the uniform of the guards on Azarath who defended the Temple Azar) and a set of wicked looking weapons.

The screen continued to talk, _"You are to partake in the holiest of ceremonies praising the warriors of old who have fought and died to maintain the balance of life possible. Dawn your battle garments, and wield your weapons of choice with pride, fight to the death in this grand arena, prove your worth, and earn your freedom … may the ancients have mercy on your soul."_

With that, the screen flipped back into its wall and left me to my thoughts as I stared at the wall lined with weapons and I gulped when the reality suddenly hit me. I am going to actually have to kill someone in order to survive! I've never killed anyone before … not even when I've lost all control of my power … there was always someone else there to stop me, or people would flee before I'd ever get the chance to actually maim a living-being. Every fighting move I've learned, every spell I've memorized, and with every flick of my wrist, I knew I had the capability to kill … but I never had the heart.

I couldn't do it then … I don't think I'll be able to do it now …

I stepped away from the shelves of weapons and pressed my back against the far wall still staring at the gleaming blades and blunt bullets thirsty for blood. Their jagged edges, their fine hairline points, their hard easy-grip handles, and their smooth tempting-to-the-touch surface that could carve a man like a Thanksgiving-turkey … and those were just the swords, knives, daggers, scythes, etc, etc that I could see. There were also staffs, clubs, guns, whips, and chains. Yet, the point being is they were all deadly, all of them with one purpose, one mode, one setting, and that's to kill.

I closed my eyes and bowed my head, I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, "Relax Raven … you can do this … your life depends on it …"

Then again … how important was my life?

Was it so important to end someone else's life for it?

Was I worth the death of another – possibly fellow – prisoner who might even have a family, friends, a _life _that I would otherwise have sacrificed my own life to save to begin with?

I was a hero … my sole purpose was to die to save others.

That's my occupation.

Going against it now … wouldn't I be a hypocrite … especially when I took a Hippocratic Oath to do no harm?

I growled, Ethics … argh … why do they always have to be a constant conflict?

_Screw it, _I thought as I began to unbutton my prison uniform to slip on the long bell-sleeved, floor-length dark-blue hooded cloak that would only be held together by two belts, one that strapped just under my bust-line, and the other just above my waist. I left the waist alone and pulled on the clean-white shorts, then fastened up the dark-blue thigh-high boots. It didn't take me forever to decide my weapon; I just grabbed the bo-staff (_very _similar to Robin's) and sighed, hoping and praying the gods above that this fight wouldn't have to be one to the death.

Perhaps … maybe … if I put on a good enough show and convince the people in-charge that it'll be within their greatest interest to keep us both alive, maybe, just maybe I can spare us both (my opponent I mean) the conscience of either blood on either's hand. Or, on an even scarier thought, maybe my opponent wouldn't care! Maybe they were cold-blood killers who had no regard for life whatsoever and were just out for themselves; maybe … maybe … a shocked gasp escaped my lips when a frighteningly disturbing thought came to mind.

_What if it's X I'm suppose to fight?!_

That would be … cruel … just speechlessly cruel!

Especially after everything these … _whoever they are _had put us through!

Rooming us together, forcing X to help with my capture, forcing _me _to play nurse to cradle him back to health … actually, now that I think about it … it would make for interesting entertainment. Put two close friends (even though we hadn't established just what the hell we were to each anymore) together in a ring, have them fight to the death, and see what happens. That was if I were thinking objectively, granted I always strived to be objected, but this time … I just couldn't find the strength to _not _have a heart.

If it was X I had to fight I just wouldn't be able to do it.

I was weak like that.

Even after the small grudge I had against him for setting me up, I couldn't kill him, hell if it were Malchior prior to my 18th birthday I still wouldn't be able to kill _him!_

They were just … I don't know … I guess they were the only guys I've ever, _ever _in my entire _life _had actually given a damn about besides my teammates. My teammates were second nature, caring for them was like breathing, it was bound to happen after everything we've been through, but Malchior and X. They were a struggle, a struggle within myself to let my guards down long enough for them to be able to see into my soul and into the girl that hid behind the Ice Queen.

I shook my head, _You're about to fight to the death and you're reminiscing about the past? That's just _wonderful _Raven! _I shouted at myself and huffed trying to control my emotions, trying to seal it all up within a tight box to once again maintain my signature indifference. Despite the fact my powers were still suppressed, it was a habit of mines to lock myself away inside so no emotions would get in the way on a battlefield.

Especially one of this caliber.

Suddenly:

_BANG! BANG!_

Someone kicked at the steel door beside me, I stumbled away from it and glared as a compartment was slid open and finally a pair of some life-form's eyes peered into my cell and at me. They stared me up and down, evaluating my attire and my weapon then slid the compartment back shut, I expected them to tell me to come to the door so they could process me into the arena, but no. The compartment was opened once more and something small, metal, smooth, oval in shape, and about an inch wide in diameter was thrown in with me. I blinked at it, wondering if they wanted me to take it, but then stilled when the tiny device suddenly jumped and came to life!

It had six small rope-like legs that uncoiled from the body and lifted off the ground, it seemed to look around with a single glowing-red eye and once it turned and spotted me, the sucker moved too fast for me to react! Before I knew it, it latched onto my right arm, crawled up my shoulder and fastened itself around my neck. Its body pressed against the back of my neck, but surprisingly enough the act itself was the only thing that startled me, otherwise its tight grip was quite comfortable. I gasped and clawed at it for a few seconds, trying to see if I could take it off, but when it started to beep, I decided to stop touching it.

For all I knew it could be some kind of explosive that anyone sitting within a 500ft radius could set off.

That … was a scary thought.

So I stood silent and patient as the wall with the weapons closed up, and the floor I stood on suddenly jerked loose. I held onto the wall wondering what the hell was happening now, but then ended up shifting to the center of the floor when the floor turned out to be a platform being lifted upward. I went higher and higher, picking up speed and the ceiling started getting bigger and bigger till I was tempted to lift my hands up in a futile attempt to stop myself from being crushed. However, the ceiling suddenly slid open and sunlight, actual sunlight, bathed the metallic darkness and drenched me in the warmth of day.

I could have sighed in rapture, but the platform shoved me all the way up and came to a jerked halt that made me jump and land unceremoniously on my bottom (again). Ouch. I winced, and would have rubbed myself where it hurt the most, but stilled when I heard a thunderous roar of cheers that sounded like a thousand-plus people all around me. I quickly got to my feet and looked around to notice I was at the far end of an arena that would put the Roman Coliseum to shame!

It was _huge!_

And from what I could gather, it was built in a ditch, _No … _I reconsidered and concluded,_ it's a crater … we're in a giant crater … _I gazed in awe at the thousands upon thousands of people that gathered to see the bloodshed and I noticed they weren't human. No, as a matter of fact, now that I noticed their style of dress, and their skin color I realized with shock and disbelief that they were Tameranians!

Starfire's people!

I had to be on Tameran!

Almost dizzy with this mind-numbing fact of being light years away from Earth, I nearly didn't make note of the fact that I was also stuck in a glass box. While in the middle raised on his own platform X stood free from any sort of glass-confinement. I frowned when we both stared at each other in wonder, and then looked off to the side when two other platforms were raised. Another glass-box with another person inside looked revved-up and ready to go; he glanced my way but disregarded me as if I were nothing but another face.

And to him … I probably was.

While on the side platform, beside X, also free from a glass-box was another man with a scythe in his hands and he looked like he knew how to use it to. He looked at X, also with no sign of regard for human-life, but just a dry acknowledgement of who his next opponent was and much to my shivering discovering, X matched his look with a curt nod. It was then did I see tucked into their holsters' crossed behind his back were two curved blades I knew were not of the defensive style. I didn't know X enough to say I was shocked and appalled at the idea that he didn't think about all of this the same way I did, but I had to be honest, the thought of X being a killer never crossed my mind. Even with all my talk about him being the first to draw blood if the chance ever presented itself. That was all metaphors, but put into context, it was disturbing.

However … it wasn't as disturbing as the conclusion I drew up with our positions on this chessboard.

I wasn't going to fight Red X (thank the gods for that), but he was going to _save _me.

_This will make us even._

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, DC does … **

**A/N: Now ain't this something … Starfire kidnapped Raven perhaps? Eh, who knows … I do!! XDD!! Honestly, when I was writing the 4****th**** chapter, originally I thought maybe it would have been the Teen Titans themselves to capture her **_**and **_**X and lock them in some kind of underground cell because they were unsure of taking them to the big-house and let the story run from there. However, I decided maybe that would have been too early a discovery, plus I didn't really want to completely alienate the others from Raven, and make them seem like asses, just didn't seem right to me.**

**So I changed the entire idea and now they're on Tameran … why exactly is for you to ponder to yourselves or share with me in your reviews while I prepare the next chapter for release. In the mean time, from where I'm at no matter what this site says I have updated this on Christmas day (Guam is a day ahead of the US if you're der), so Happy Holidays and Merry Chirstmas!! Love you guys!! Peace on Earth, good will towards man, and all that good stuff.**

**L8er daez!**


	6. Nothing Personal

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Nothing Personal**

Trumpets (or what were considered trumpets) screamed so loud with such a screeched sound it made my ears ring, even X and our competitors flinched at the shrill noise that pierced through the buzzing crowd and silenced them almost immediately. For good reason to, because suspended above the arena behind the glass-boxes was a booth that held who apparently were the royal family. Not Starfire's uncle, or nanny, or whatever the hell she called him, but another fiercer bunch that consisted of a princess, a prince, a queen, and a king who all sat upon their thrones with indifferent glares, or bored stares.

The king – or who I assumed was the king – stood up, draped in attire that was no more royal than X was in his dark blue jeans and black t-shirt. This _'king' _was old enough to be considered my father, but without the gray, he looked buff enough to hold his own in battle, but he seemed to lack the motivation to move across the platform much less fight. With his dull emerald green eyes, he raised his hands to the crowd to silence them and spoke into what I assumed was a hidden mic because it boomed through out the entire arena, and he spoke in Tameranian.

Whatever he said, I stilled when I heard it whispered in my language from behind my neck, I reached back, wondering what it was, but then remembered the device strapped around my neck. _So it's a translator, _I thought in realization, and listened carefully, _"Behold! My fellow Outcast Brethren, on its axel this spit of a plant has crossed its twenty-fourth year since the last celebration commemorating those who have perished in the Twenty-Four Year War with the Forsaken Ones."_

He paused when the crowd burst into a brilliant display of excitement, loud cheering, a lot of chanting, and when the king raised his hands again to silence the crowd all went quiet to hear what he had to say. He took in a deep breath, recollected himself, and proceeded with his speech, I glanced away from him for a moment when one of the other royals in the booth shifted in his seat and caught my attention. The prince, I presumed, leaned forward and to his right to speak softly to his mother, his mother listened, but then both of their cool lavender eyes much lighter than Blackfire's looked down at us … or was it just me? I moved to my right, her eyes followed me, I shifted to my left, her eyes now joined with her son's still followed, I narrowed my eyes. What were they thinking? What did it have to do with me?

The king's voice boomed through out the arena and recaptured my attention when he pointed at us, _"You fighters have been demeaned the best of the best from worlds stretching across the galaxy and shall start the celebrations with your display of power, and skill. To the death you shall fight, the only rule that applies: No Mercy."_ Then, with a lazy flick of his wrist, the crowd erupted in another onslaught of screeching cheers as the trumpets sounded and the match commenced when a Tameranian flew into the center of the arena between X and his opponent and smiled maliciously.

He raised a hand into the air, and the moment he did it activated a transparent screen which hovered over the crowd far on the opposite side of the arena from myself. Upon the screen was a picture of X and his opponent, both with what apparently were life-bars beside their pictures, but it didn't say life-bar exactly. What it said was _'Shield-Integrity' _… but what shield? That's when I listened to the _'ref' _explain the tech, _"The devices on your necks serve more purpose than just translating dialect, it is your only chance to survive a fatale blow in this battle. Take too many hits, the shield will collapse and leave you wide open for a Death-Blow, but fear not Earthlings. The shields can be restored, but only if you exchange places with your fellow cellmate. Eliminate all of your opponents and victory shall be years, earn your freedom, and may the Gods have mercy on your mortal souls!"_

The referee flew high into the sky and with one word, suddenly the ground beneath all four of us disappeared and the arena was suspended in mid-air with more than enough floating platforms that I did not trust to hold our weights. The platform with the glass-boxes started to glow bright blue and I heard the device behind my neck beep slowly … fully charged. I searched the arena for X and found him on my far left crouched with his blades clutched in each hand parallel to his elbow. The other fighter was on my extreme right twirling his scythe just waiting for the green-light, and he got it.

The referee snickered, _"FIGHT!!"_

I rushed forward and nearly pressed my face up against the glass when X moved with fluid agility across the field leaping platform after platform towards his opponent who came at him with equal eagerness. My breath caught in my throat as the guy with the scythe jumped clear over X's head and came down on him with the pointed tip of his scythe. X threw himself forward to avoid being sliced, but it was too late, it happened so fast all I did was scream and bang my fist against the glass, _"X!!!"_

The blade of the scythe carved X straight up his spine from stern to neck; he cried out and slid on his side upon the platform then rolled and nearly fell to his doom. His doom being the ground we were once on now turned into a deadly spike-bed that would not end well for any unlucky bastard who went over. I couldn't stop my heart from racing even if I tried, especially when I glanced at the giant screen to see X's _'life-bar' _drop dramatically, nearly half of it was gone and that was with one hit. With my fists still on the glass I felt myself bounce on my toes excitedly (in a bad way) while chanting softly, "Come on, get up, get up, _get up."_

X was still lying on his side too close to the edge of the platform and his opponent now standing on the far end of the same platform had his scythe resting on his shoulder stoically watching X for any sign of retaliation. When X still seemed out of it to the man he twirled his scythe and rushed in for the final blow. I almost couldn't bear to watch when the stranger took another swipe at X and seconds before his blade came in contact with him X rolled off and half-fell, half jumped to the next platform below. I breathed easier when X was finally on his feet and his blades back in his hands, but I could tell with the way he held himself the hit he received may have been repelled, but he could feel the pain from the impact.

It was a direct hit to his spine; his back was probably killing him!

I bit down on my lower lip as his opponent glared down at him, then jumped, but this time X smartened up. He went on the defensive and leapt away from the scythe when the blade swiped at where his head use to be, but then he jumped forward and swung his left arm around to land a solid punch on the stranger's jaw that stunned him. He continued with a vicious combo that would have left a bloody mess if there were no shield to chip away at. With his right curved blade he sliced diagonally-downward and then made an _'X'_ on the man's chest with his left blade.

He then twirled his right blade so it was once again parallel to his arm and spun around so the edge dug into the man's neck, and the edge of the left blade sliced open his stomach. After going the complete 360 he flipped backwards in a flip-kick that landed the man flat on his back. The stranger's life-bar dropped almost as dramatically as X's, but after all that he still had half a bar left that was plenty more than X's. I looked away from the screen back down at X to see him lifted his right blade up to stab into the man's chest, but the man still had a lot of fight left in him.

He flipped himself back on his feet, scythe in hand and suddenly they were all over the arena and moving faster than before. Counter-blocking and counter-breaking, clashing fiercely, and attacking ruthlessly it was almost hard to keep up with every move they made (I even suspected that most of their moves were improvised to keep up the pace). So I kept my eyes on the screen and noticed with great despair that X was losing! His bar kept going down faster and faster, chunk after chunk was going away until all I saw was a tiny portion left. I looked down and searched for X, to warn him and tell him to come to the box so he could re-charge, but apparently I didn't have to.

Seconds passed and before I knew it something solid smashed onto my box from the top, I looked up to find X down on one knee with one hand pressed to the glass and panting relatively hard. He stared at me and nodded just before the glass suddenly disappeared and he dropped in, I couldn't even ask if he would be okay before an invisible force shoved me out of the box and sent me flying onto one of the many platforms.

"_Ahhh!!" _I cried out in shock as I landed on my back unable to gain my bearings until I sat up and realized I was free of the glass-box … which was nothing to celebrate.

Back on my feet I looked at X now trapped in the box glaring at me and pointing at something furiously as he shouted, _"Get him!"_

'_Him' _being the opponent he knocked the life-bar down low enough for me to finish the job. To actually end it, to kill a human life … I acted without thinking, I started running towards the second glass-box, trying to beat the man, to stop him from re-charging his shield, but _just _to stop him. Killing him … I still had a problem with that … I don't think I have the mindset for that, granted, I _am _half demon, but the human in me had a problem with taking a life.

I couldn't do it.

In any case, the man smacked the side of the glass-box for it to open, but just as it did I leapt off the last platform and fly-kicked him in his chest then used him as leverage to spin around and kick him again before I flipped off him and landed in a crouch. He stumbled back with a grunt of pain and with my bo-staff in hand I extended it to trip him off his feet, but little did I know there was no platform for him to fall on and he ended up going over the edge! I didn't know this … I swear I didn't, all I was aware of was the fact that with each previous hit I chipped at his life-bar till it was complete obliterated, the device on his neck fell off and plummeted to the spiked-pit below. By then the glass had already slammed shut before his partner could come to his assistance as he dangled over the edge clutching hold with just his fingertips.

I was not aware of this, and if I was I wouldn't have perfectly executed my twirl as I held up my staff and dropped it back down with the intent of knocking him out cold, never to kill him. _Never, _but this wasn't the case, I ended up slamming my staff on his fingers which ultimately made him release his hold so he fell to meet his gruesome end. I gasped and nearly dropped my staff altogether when the reality of what I had done hit me so hard it winded me.

His scream of true terror pierced the air despite the roaring excitement of a demented crowd.

_No! It was an accident! NO! _My knees grew weak, I started to shake, the world was tilting, I was going numb.

How could I … what have I done …?!

"_RAVEN!!" _X screamed from within his box and snapped me out of my tilting world; I looked to him as he slapped the glass with a panicked look on his face as he pointed behind me. With the staff still in my hands, I slowly turned to see the man's partner's box had disappeared altogether and my new opponent was free, he charged me. I was too slow to react as he dug his shoulder into my gut and shoved me over the edge, I felt myself suddenly suspended in midair, a feeling that I was already familiar with, with my ability of flight, but this was different. This wasn't flight, I was falling, I had no control, I was going to die!

One part of me accepted this fact; I didn't deserve to live when I killed an innocent life that was as much a prisoner to this deranged-game as X and I were. I had to be punished for my sins.

Yet … another part of me, the more stubborn portion of my shady personality wouldn't accept Death without a fight.

It was this portion, much to the dismay of my self-pity that won and like a cat dropped from twenty-stories, I flexed my body, twisted in midair and caught the edge of a nearby platform. I gripped it with one hand and used the momentum of my angled fall to swing myself back on solid ground. I sank into an offensive pose and allowed my instincts to take over completely, I would need it if I were to survive this for I wasn't as skilled as Robin in hand-to-hand, but lucky me he saw fit to train me in his martial-arts, Tae-kwon-do being my greatest interest.

However, none of this would be helpful when I discovered my opponent was a gunslinger.

With automatic handguns, one in each hand and each of them loaded, I gulped when he glared down at me and pointed the barrels to my head. He was cocked, locked, ready to rock, and I was so screwed when he opened fire, I took off running realizing much to my great distress that he was a crack shot when I felt one of his bullets nearly graze my heel when I fell into a back-flip. I landed the flip and rushed him head on when he ran out of rounds, I had to disarm him before he reloaded and I figured if he was a gunslinger he would be useless without his weapons so I hit him with everything I had.

But I was dead wrong.

When I came down on him with numerous combinations of the staff and my foot he blocked each hit, but with each hit I shoved him towards the end of his platform. With two more impacts of my staff blocked I spun around and kicked him in his gut hard enough so his heel went over the edge, but he flipped off to land on another platform. His guns still in hand and new magazines loaded, he jerked it down on the sides of his legs, locked the magazines, loaded his bullets and at pointblank range let loose a string of bullets that impaled me.

One! Two! Thee! Four! Five shots nicked me as I tried to run and it brought the integrity of my shield _way _down. The impact was as real as getting shot by actual bullets and I found myself panting heavily by the time his rounds were out and I rushed him again, this time I was determined to get those guns away from him!

Another hit like that could mean the end of me, and I won't have it!

"_Hyyahh!!"_ I screamed as I dropped from the sky with a drop-kick after his last shot was fired, he scowled and grabbed my leg to swing me around, but I hooked my staff around the back of his neck and held on. So with my free leg I kneed his chin hard enough for him to stumble back and lose his grip on me. Still on him, I made sure he hit the platform with a bounce when I kicked off him and flipped so I was back on track.

The crowd went crazy.

Through my peripheral vision I saw X cheer me on, especially when I had managed to separate the gunslinger from his guns.

Now, it was a piece of cake, right?

Wrong again.

When I rushed in to further more destroy his shield, he suddenly jerked himself up and in his right hand was a handle, connected to the handle was what looked to be string and on the string were miniature blades sharp, jagged, and mean. It took me till it was too late to realize that it was a bladed-whip when he unraveled it, swung it over his head and with a single crack the very tip of the whip slapped me on my right cheek hard enough that it felt like a punch to the face. I fell back with a cry of shock and pain while I watched my life-bar fall a bit more.

I bit down on my lip and flipped myself back on my feet, but leaned back and fell to another platform when I heard the crack of the whip and felt the air it sliced over me where my head use to be. I scowled at him, but then he shrugged and in perfect English said, "Nothing personal."

_Nothing personal … _I repeated in my head and let it marinade in thought for a moment.

He was right.

This wasn't personal.

Kill or die.

Fight or flight.

So I once again sank into an offensive pose and nodded, "Nothing personal."

He grinned when I understood him, but then swung his whip around to again let me have it, but I managed to stab my staff into the platform and used it as a block when the whip wrapped around it and got stuck when he tried to pull it back. He frowned and again jerked to yank it loose, but it was firm, that's when I leapt onto the bladed-whip and used it like a tight-rope to run across before he let it go to have me fall to my death. I jumped off and came down on him, he thought it was another drop kick, but he was gravely mistaken, I landed with my knees hooked on his shoulders and his head caught between my thighs. I fell back and with his head firmly held within my thighs I jerked him forward as I fell into a back-flip and dropped him into the spike-pit.

With that, I ended the game …

Still gripping the edge of the platform and panting heavily as the adrenaline rush in me almost drained to nothing, leaving me with not enough energy to lift myself back on the platform. So I dangled there, trying to catch my breath, and trying to come to terms with what I've done … _Two people … I've killed two people … _I closed my eyes and bowed my head when that one pathetic part of me whispered in my head and told me to let go.

Just let go …

"Raven!" I blinked back the blurriness in my vision to look up and see X leaning over the edge with a hand held out for me to take and a smirk on his lips. He looked happy to see me alive … but when he saw the tears in my eyes staining my cheeks he frowned and instead of waiting for me to take his hand he grabbed my wrist and hoisted me back on my feet. He probably saw it … saw that pathetic side of me wanting to pay for my sins and with what little of himself that was still human probably didn't want me to die.

However, knowing X, that was probably thinking too much of him.

But nevertheless I fell into his arms when my legs weren't ready to hold up the weight of the guilt bearing down on my shoulders; it felt good to be held, to be in the warmth of another person knowing that I wasn't completely alone here. However, no matter how good it felt, I made sure not to stay there long. Only two seconds and I shoved him away from me to wipe my face and rebuild my mask of indifference … as I've told myself before, there would be plenty of time for self-pity once I got back to Earth. With one hand on my hip I looked around the crowd and saw them cheering us on, their cries for bloody-entertainment met, and I hoped that I wouldn't have to do this again in the future. The next time I'd probably destroy my own shield first before I kill another life-form.

Beside me, X stared at me, most likely wondering what my problem was.

Well, he'll have to ponder away; I wasn't in the mood for idle chit-chat.

Not now.

Not ever.

So while we stood there waiting for whatever was suppose to happen after winning a life-or-death battle, we both tilted our heads up when about seven Tameranians dropped from the sky wielding sheathed swords hanging from their holsters at their sides. Who I assumed to be the leader pointed at us both then pointed to the ground, the intergalactic symbol for _'on your knees' _I guess and so X and I dropped to the ground and laid our weapons at their feet. Another solider rushed to swipe the weapons up and only then did two other guards finally subdue us with the familiar laser cuffs and metal rings around our eyes.

Without much effort at all we were literally lifted off the platforms and into the air, how high, I have no idea, but I knew it was too high for any of us to survive the fall if one of these guards were to let us go. I prayed to Azar that wasn't the idea when the guards holding me suddenly tossed me high into the air, I nearly let out a frightened scream when I dropped back down a few feet, but gasped when someone grabbed me by my waist. Like a sack of potatoes I was tossed onto a shoulder and flown even higher until finally I recognized the stability of solid ground.

Was I on solid ground?

I hated being bound like this!

Why?!

Why did everything have to be a goddamned mystery?!

Hell, I wasn't even sure if X was still with me or not!

"…"

I heard talking, but it was in Tameranian and as multilingual as I am I did not speak Tameran, so why weren't these neck-thingies working now? I patiently waited in silence still hanging off this man's shoulder trying not to breathe since every breath I took his shoulder dug into my gut, it was getting very uncomfortable. Before long, I gasped when he dropped me to the ground on my feet, it took me a moment to gain my balance, but when I did I flinched when the speaking turned to shouting.

Someone was arguing with someone … well … actually now that I listened closely there was more than one person and much to my discomfort they were all male. All male with one female (being me), ugh, I didn't want to think it, but I had to consider all the possibilities on why I wasn't being thrown back in my cell with X. I bit down on my lower lip when one of the male voices, though younger than the others seemed to have authority when he raised it in volume and gave his orders the others did not agree with.

The guard holding my arm let me go, but not without the final word as he left my presence altogether. I sighed and tilted my head wondering if I was ever going to be released from these damned confinements. My wish was surprisingly granted when I felt someone hover beside me and pick the lock of my cuffs. Hands free, the ring around my eyes came next and with the cuffs they clattered to concrete ground. I blinked and looked around to immediately gain my bearings and I quickly noticed I was within the VIP booth that once held the royal family, but was now only occupied by the young man I had assumed was the _'prince' _… oh, and X.

X was once again beside me massaging his wrist and glaring at the _'prince' _who had a cool smile and a handsome face. He couldn't be no older than X, with pitch black hair cut short and combed back, it looked gelled with a sleek-shine and besides the fact that he was probably hosting a _very _illegal-game he seemed like a nice guy, but then again I could be wrong. I was already wrong on many other counts, what made this one any different?

The _'prince' _said nothing, only held out his hand for me to take, I stared at it hesitantly, then glanced at X who's brows furrowed with a dark frown as he discreetly shook his head in the negative, telling me not to trust him, not to take his hand. He had a point; I didn't know what would happen, especially when the _'prince' _didn't say anything. Yet, when I looked back at him that cool trustworthy smile remained and his hand remained outstretched for me to take. I bite down on my lower lip, and held up my hand to slide it into his grasp, but X grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him with a scowl and growled at me through gritted teeth, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I yanked my wrist from him and scowled, "We need answers X."

"Yeah, and you're going to trust this yuppy scum-bag for answers? He's probably the one that locked us in that cell!"

"Well, we'll never know just standing here arguing about it, will we?"

He glared at me in frustration.

I matched his dark look before I turned back to the unflinching _'prince' _who's smile turned into an amused smirk. Obviously, he didn't need to know English to understand what the dispute between X and I was about. Again, I lifted my hand up and this time unhesitant I slipped it into his grasp, and let him gently pull me closer to him, X shifted uncomfortably. His frustrated glare turned into an anxious look when I glanced back at him as I took a few more steps to stand only inches away from the _'prince'._

With my hand still in his, he raised his other hand and gently brushed my hair away from my neck, the back of his rough fingers brushed against my exposed flesh and I kept myself from flinch or panicking when his hand slipped behind my neck and tapped the device on it. It beeped twice, then chimed an odd note before he slipped his hand away from my neck to place it on the side of my face. I gulped when he leaned down and his face inched closer to mine, I leaned away on instinct, he paused in his advancement to stare deeply into my eyes and softly, in his language said, _"Glophnex …"_

I blinked in confusion.

He repeated, but with a little more emphasis on tone, a tone that sounded … pleading, unless I was hearing things, _"Glophnex …"_

Then it hit me, _Starfire … the first time she met Robin she kissed him, and it was just to learn the language …_ it made sense, but why did this guy want to do this with me when the device on my neck worked just fine back on the field? I was tempted to look back at X for help, but he didn't know that little Tameranian language-trick, so to him this probably looked pretty bad. _I better just go with it … _so with my heart racing a mile a minute I nodded, and he smiled gratefully as he leaned down and softly pressed his lips to mine.

I closed my eyes as a tingling sensation crawled throughout my body on contact, a natural response I suppose since the lips of the human body were extremely touch sensitive. He massaged his lips against mine to open my mouth, I tilted my head to the side and back when I felt my breath leave me while he took in a deep breath and before I knew it he pulled away and nodded, "Thank you for understanding."

I walked back to stand beside a bewildered X that stared at me as if I had grown a second head and that second head was now shooting out flames, I ignored the _'prince' _for a moment to clear things up with X, "They're Tameranians, and … a kiss is a way for them to understand another's language."

He arched a skeptical brow then shot a suspicious look at the innocent _'prince' _and shrugged as he asked the same question that came to my mind, "Why couldn't you just use the things behind our necks? They work the same in translating don't they?"

The _'prince' _tilted his head and shrugged, "Yes, but they can be programmed to lie in translation and I wanted to be as honest as possible with you both in these uncertain times. As I'm sure you're –" he gestured to me, "– already aware of the fact you're on Tameran, correct?"

I nodded in affirmation.

X glanced at us both then shook his head in confusion, "Whoa, where's Tameran, who are you, and why should I care?"

"Tameran is apart of the LyLex System on the outskirts of what you know as the Milky-Way Galaxy, not too far from Earth if you have warp-drive, but I, on the other-hand, am Ja'marnixzz, or Strongheart in your English tongue. My father is the leader of the Kuriphim'gar, The Embarrassments, or Outcasts. He and my mother as well as the many others you've seen within the crowd were thrown out of Lenphog'Dor for various crimes. Whether it be cold-blooded murder or just those that have brought shame to some higher-power on Tameran." He gave pause to ponder something, then gestured to me, "I'm sure you know Toriand'r, correct?"

"Koriand'r's sister, yes."

"Well, before she was banished from this planet altogether she lived here and made quite a name for herself …"

Through my peripheral I noticed X was looking at me in inquiry, I filled him in, "Koriand'r is Starfire, Toriand'r is Blackfire, her older sister."

He tilted his head curiously, "She has a sister?"

"Apparently."

"So Tameran is Starfire's home planet?"

"She's the princess."

"…" X stared at me waiting for the punch-line of the joke, but when it never came he scoffed, "I always knew there was something about her …"

I shook my head and let X ponder that piece of information as I turned my attention back to Strongheart, "As much as I like being filled in on my whereabouts, I'm actually more curious about what you want with us."

Strongheart blinked then sucked in a deep breath and sighed heavily, "Toriand'r … we grew … close. I listened to everything she had to say about her sister, I know the hatred she has for Koriand'r and as her close friend I've come to understand that hatred when news of Toriand'r's banishment finally reached me after all these years. It's unforgiveable."

I frowned, "Well what Blackfire did wasn't exactly anything to applaud about either, she tried to sell her sister to slavery, and then later marry her off while she steals the throne. If you ask me Blackfire just pushed too hard."

Strongheart looked down at me through his brows and his eyes lit up furiously the color of light-lavender, I took a step back in anticipation with X who tensed and prepared for a fight when Strongheart slowly said, "Toriand'r may be malevolent, but she does not deserve what fate has brought about for her."

Still on guard, I went ahead and asked, "Meaning?"

"Banishment from her only home lead to her capture on Crisious Prime, where no mercy is shown to a _Troq_ … do you know what that means?" Strongheart glared at me with that dark look of his, his innocent nice-guy routine completely unraveled.

I nodded sullenly when I remembered how I found out.

For a while after the Titans had saved a planet from certain destruction, I felt guilty about the events that played out before hand, but I pushed it out of my mind, memory-lane would have to wait. My eyes found Strongheart's glow finally dimmed to nothing, but he continued to stare at me with a resentful look, as if he expected me to think of his kind in the same manner as others did. I could careless, and I showed it too with a bored huff, "So, what is the point of all this?"

He stepped up to us, X tensed, but it was all for not he simply walked passed us to stand near the edge of the floating booth that now looked over an empty arena. X and I both watched him lift off the ground in a gentle levitation as he floated out over the arena with a doozey of a drop under him. He turned to face us as he held out his hands and began to tell us a story. A story I thought had nothing to do with our predicament as he explained to us the origin of this barbaric tradition, of this Death Match.

Apparently the Embarrassments were once pitted against each other and used as entertainment for who he called the _Hexezbrk'fe, _the Forsaken Ones, also known as the Royal Family, deemed so because the Embarrassments considered them _'heartless hypocrites'. _Hypocrites since the Forsaken tried to eradicate the Embarrassments altogether because they were seen as corruptions to their ideal society. Thus the Twenty-Four Year War broke out, many were killed on either side, but of course the Forsaken had ultimately won the war. The few remaining Embarrassments that survived fled to the desolate deserts to escape the ongoing genocide and thus an odd sort of community of Outcasts was created.

Outcasts that honored the past through reenacting the arena matches that are done voluntarily, but the opening of the 24 day ceremony required the capture of outsiders such as X and myself. X, as he revealed had been studied, watched, and recorded along with myself when it was discovered I was a Titan, however they had to be sure I was functional without my powers, hence the reason for X's distress call.

Everything fell into place with that explanation, and it was about to get complicated when Strongheart finally told us why it was important for us to know all this, "You both are still prisoners here in Tameran, yes, you can still earn your freedom through popularity, but it will take the full twenty-four days till you're deemed worthy for release. That's twenty-four days of fighting, killing, and surviving … the chances of either of you living to the last day are slim, do you want to take this chance?"

X, having been silent throughout Strongheart's entire story finally spoke up, "You make it sound like we have an ultimatum, what are you pitching?"

Strongheart arched a brow at the slang X used, not entirely familiar with it, he went ahead to say, "You can either try to cheat Death for the next twenty-four days, or you can go to Crisious Prime to save Toriand'r and bring her back here, with me, where she belongs. Do this, and I will personally send a message to your Koriand'r stating where you both are and freedom is yours."

X arched an interested brow, "A rescue mission? That's it?"

"Don't be naïve, Crisious Prime is not a very forgiving planet, its people are exceptionally strong and possess … strange powers that I myself will not meddle with. It is also the reason why I cannot ask those under my command to come with me on an expedition and my father would never let me out of his sight, not without my sister that is. So what is your decision?"

X glanced at me, I said nothing, expressed nothing, so without anything for him to go on he instead went on to ask, "Can we think about it first?"

Strongheart nodded, "You have till sundown to make up your mind, otherwise I leave you at the mercy of the arena."

With that he flipped in the air and spiraled down, probably to retrieve the guards so they can take us back to our cells. I ran both of my hands through my hair, sighed heavily and then plopped down on the ground with my feet dangling over the edge of the booth. Not exactly a safe thing to do considering my powers were still suppressed, but at the moment it didn't matter to me. My head was killing me, the pain from my prior fight was starting to throb, and I haven't meditated or had herbal tea in a long time. I was jonesing for a fix; I could already feel my mood turning sour when X sat beside me.

I looked away from him and closed my eyes when he said, "It's our best bet."

I whispered back in response, "I know …"

He looked at me, I didn't see him actually do it, but I could feel it, hear it in his voice, "Then what's with you?"

"… Tired … very, tired …"

"…"

He stopped talking for a while and I was thankful for the silence.

The wind whispered in my ear and caressed my hair as it whipped between X and myself … the distance between us only two feet away, but in this silence it felt like he was pressed up against me. With my eyes closed I could feel his warmth tickle my arm and the side of my leg, I almost wanted him close to me, just to feel that warmth, to remind myself that I wasn't the only one going through this.

As a matter of fact … now that I thought of it … I had an obligation to protect X.

I was still a Titan, we were both in trouble and it was my duty to defend the helpless (of course I know that X wasn't helpless, but it's the context not the facts that matters in these situations). Not to say that my views on him changed from criminal to victim, no, he was still a criminal … but when I opened my eyes and lifted my head up to stare at X and to find him staring back at me as well. I came to a sense of closure about why I felt betrayed earlier in our cell; it was because I had already considered him a close friend.

Red X is my friend.

Been so since our first night.

Slowly, I watched as a lazy smirk worked its way on his lips and his aloof-nonchalant attitude returned as he shrugged and asked, "What?"

I blinked and sighed as I leaned back on my hands and stared up at the purplish-orange Tameranian sky, "Nothing … just tired."

He chuckled, "Oookaaay … so what's the verdict, we gonna save the evil older sister or not?"

I nodded, "Of course we are. It's our only ticket home"

"… So why didn't you say anything earlier?"

I looked at him, "Because if I said yes right off the bat he would have had us on the next ship to Crisious Prime and I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a moment to collect myself before going off on a rescue, to a planet I've never been too, to save a girl I don't even like. Better to mentally prepare myself for it, you know."

"True, true …"

"… And … if we decide to escape somewhere in between … I'd rather come up with a plan first, don't you think."

His amber eyes twinkled at the idea and he grinned down at me with an impressed look on his face, "I love you, you know that right?"

I knew it was joke, he's said to me a dozen times before and it never bothered me, not even now, "You're not the only one."

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, DC does, but Strongheart is mine :)**

**A/N: …. Okay … not exactly satisfied with how this chapter turned out, I actually wanted to end the fight with X, but that last move I made Raven execute was stuck in my head and I had to get it out on paper which ultimately had her end the fight :/ … hmm … yeah, still bothered by that. Oh well, what's done is done … now … **_**moving on **_**… I don't know if anyone's noticed this, but X's **_**'fighting-style'**_** was inspired by another character, try to guess who he is, he's written on my profile and he's come out with a new game … XDD!!**

**If you can guess who then a cyber-cookie for you! In the meantime thanx for reading and reviewing …**

**L8er daez **


	7. Trick Question

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Trick Question**

Crisious Prime was much like Earth, Strongheart said, it was a pretty blue planet with its surface mostly covered in water. However, when X and I were transported from Tameran to Crisious Prime (not bound and blinded thank Azar) I come to notice what Strongheart had failed to mention was that Crisious Prime was a pretty blue planet made up of _95 percent _water. Unlike Earth's _70 percent, _and trust, those numbers made a _HUGE _difference. For what little land that was visible from space were used as docking stations for incoming ships, meaning everything: the cities, communities, and homes were more than likely underwater.

_Joy …_

Anyway, as the ship X and I were on docked, the pilot (a local Crisinite unprejudiced and indiscriminant towards Tameranians and also a man who owed Strongheart a favor) got up from his seat to properly prep us for our mission. The mission that involved us to be transported as slaves being processed and sold in the local slave-trade, for what Strongheart has told us Crisious Prime was the capital for all illegal business transaction. The Crisinite, a man that bore human qualities – walks on two legs, two hands, two eyes, etc, etc … – had neon-green eyes and unhealthy-looking green tinge to his otherwise healthy brown skin. I had first thought he was sick, but now that I know what Crisious Prime looks like I realize that this Crisinite was actually quite healthy.

Probably even the average look for most that dwell on this watery planet.

He gestured for us to hand him our wrists, we did as gestured and he strapped the cuffs on, only this time X and I were roped together my right to his left with at least a four foot slack length between us. We then stood up and had him strap our ankles together then he went around and I flinched when he grabbed the tunic I was told to wear and lifted it up so my entire backside was revealed to him. I refrained from jumping to conclusions to turn around and smack him for his perversion, because then I felt him tape an adhesive to my back and attached to the adhesive was a blaster, a gun.

He then dropped my tunic and patted my shoulder as a gesture of apology for his rudeness.

I just blinked at him then looked at X who shrugged with a smirk on his lips, I rolled when eyes when I realized he was smirking because just like the Crisinite he too had the perfect view of my bare ass. _Wonderful … _I thought drily even when I noticed the Crisinite had done the same to X, only I wasn't as perverted (or immature) as he was and patiently waited for the set up to finish. Once it was done, the Crisinite nodded his head and gestured for us to follow him as he gripped the rope linking us together and began to drag us out of the ship. As it turned out I was first in line, then X followed me as we walked off the ship and onto the scorching island.

The sun was beating down on us relentlessly I felt my gray skin start to burn up.

Even X hissed, "Woo … that's hot …"

I scowled, "You don't say …" I tried to raise my hands to shield myself from the sun, but one of them was connected to X and the other was strapped tightly to the rope on my ankle, so I ended up bowing my head away from the sun, but it didn't seem to help much. The reflection of the beaming light bounced off the pure white grains of sand and blinded me. I gasped when the Crisinite tugged roughly and ordered us in his language to hurry it up. I was tempted to bend over and pick up sand to throw in his face, the bastard; _he _wasn't the one that had to suffer through this tied-bagged-and-gagged bullshit!

Okay so we weren't gagged, but I think I made my point!

In any case he lead us through the sand and into a humidly dense jungle with plants that looked like animals, and animals that looked like plants. I wasn't sure which was which, so I tried to avoid it all as the Crisinite dragged us through the nearly invisible trail. Until finally we reached what appeared to be a low waterfall spilling into an open cavern of water that was deep enough to drown in. The Crisinite crouched at the edge of the pool and seemed to play with the water, splash it around until finally he sighed and grabbed a hand full of dirt and sand.

He stood back up and with the hand full of terra he threw it into the water, but it didn't make a splash as X and I expected, no, the sand and dirt mingled with the water in a strange way that created a straight line that linked the ground we stood on to the waterfall. A perfect bridge of murky brown water that the Crisinite stood on without hesitation as he pulled X and I with him. My bare foot touched the water and I was shocked when I felt mud … like a really, really thick compound of mud that even made my feet mucky and yucky.

_Is it magic …? _I asked myself, but I didn't know … the device from Tameran was still on my neck preventing me from using my powers until I was finally in a cell.

At least, that was Strongheart's plan.

The suppressant was not to come off until X and I were once again in the processing-cells where the fun will really begin.

But that's in the near future, right now, as we walked across the pool over thick muddy waters I watched as the Crisinite stood directly under the waterfall, but an invisible umbrella created a large enough arch over him so X and I could pass through. He gestured for us to keep moving ahead of him, we did and as I passed under the umbrella I shuddered at the amount of energy that flooded my senses. My powers may be suppressed, but there is no possibly way to suppress it entirely, a part of me felt a pulse of life rush through me and nearly took my breath away.

It wasn't magic; it was the soul of the terra.

It was amazing.

This planet was actively participating in the lives of its creations.

I've never felt something like it, it was incredible!

However, I could no longer admire and absorb the power coursing through the planet for the Crisinite tugged on my rope and forced me to continue through a tunnel of sorts with torches of fire as the only means of illumination. That is, until five minutes into our nature walk when we stumbled onto a bright source of light that had to be artificial, we walked into it and I nearly shuddered when I felt the ground suddenly transition to cold-hard metal. From earthy and warm to cold and fake the Crisinite lead us onto a platform that brought us down … down … down … down … _down _till I began to feel the temperature drop dramatically.

The metal around us grew colder and colder till I shivered ever so slightly at the sudden change, beside me, X began to rub his arm as goose-bumps started to appear on his flesh and his teeth began to chatter. He glanced at me and I shrugged in response, I almost expected to start seeing my breath at how frozen the air had gotten. It was a stark contrast to the almost unbearable humidity on the surface; I gulped and pressed my thighs together in order to preserve what little heat I had left of my body. The fact that I was wearing nothing – and I do mean _nothing _– underneath this lousy tunic most certainly didn't help my shivers.

In any case, besides the freezing air, the platform came to a slow halt at an arched metal door that tore its jigsaw-like pieces apart to allow us entrance into another long tunnel. Yet, this time it wasn't through earth … it was a glass tubular-like tunnel that showed off everything under the surface of the ocean. It was beautiful, bright, and breathtaking, the way the turquoise colored water shimmered under the heat of the sun. To see it from down here was something else … no wonder Aqualad cherished his homeland Atlantis; I wouldn't want to give up a view like this for my life.

Not with such tranquility it brought about.

X whistled, and it echoed through the tunnel as we were hurriedly rushed through the winding maze, "Nice … I think I might just have to make a second home down here."

Before long, the sightseeing was over and we entered through another jigsaw-like door that brought us through another metal tunnel with no nice views and most certainly with no nice-people. As a matter of fact, this'll be the first time I've seen another living life-form on this planet and they looked like the Crisinite leading us through the dark metallic tunnels. X and I were given dirty looks, some curious, and some interested, either which it all unnerved me. At one point one of the locals stopped our Crisinite and exchanged a few words, shared a few laughs, and then we were on our way again.

However, as we passed by the local I gasped and jumped when he shamelessly grabbed a handful of my ass and squeezed hard enough for me to yelp. Without hesitation I spun around with a fist tightened and cocked back, I socked the pervert square in his jaw, quite actually surprised I was able to do so when that was the wrist which was attached to X. I momentarily spared him a glance to see that he had followed my arm to allow enough slack for such an attack. I mentally thanked him before I turned back around to face the pervert that was rubbing his jaw with a shocked look on his face.

All around us I heard murmurs and some snickers of amusement, but I didn't care, I braced for retaliation, but didn't get one. Instead the local I punched called to our Crisinite and said something in his language I didn't get, our Crisinite nodded with a sly grin and made some kind of gesture that the meaning totally eluded me of. Whatever it was I kept my eyes locked on the local who looked back down at me and chuckled before walking away while X and I's supposed captor tugged at our rope and we trekked on.

My face red as a beet, my ass tingling from the sensation of violation, I was more than happy when the Crisinite finally brought us to our holding cells and threw us in together after he undid our bindings. He looked at each of us before he dropped the metal door and left. Only when I heard the echo of his footsteps fade away did I attack the door in utter outrage, through gritted teeth I screamed, _"Grrraahh!!"_ I kicked the door in frustration and while breathing hard I paced the tiny cell forcing X to sit on one of the rusting cots to stay out of my way.

He chuckled and said, "Remind me never to cop a feel."

I ignored his attempt at a joke as I tried to calm myself down when I finally noticed upon our cots were a change of clothes. I reached for mine to notice it was the same outfit I wore in the arena-match back on Tameran, only when I lifted it up to take a closer look a note fell to the ground. X reached for it first, opened it and said, "It's a map …"

I glanced at it over his shoulder and added, "It's a way out of here to the dock Strongheart told us about … and to where he last heard of Blackfire's capture."

"Figured that, but what's with the numbers on the bottom?"

I looked and quickly concluded, "Coordinates back to Tameran."

"He expects us to figure out how to fly a spaceship out of here?"

"I can pilot."

"Seriously?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

He sneered and threw the note back on his cot as he stood up and forced me to back off since the small space between our cots couldn't allow for two grown adults to stand face to face. He stared at me in slight irritation as he reached for his pile of clothes and asked sarcastically, "Is there anything you can't do?"

I honestly gave it some thought as I turned my back on him and slipped out of the itchy loose tunic, I reached around my back to pull out the tapped blaster and I tossed it on my cot then I grabbed my cloak and belted it on. Once it was strapped I paused and quietly said, "… Cook, I don't think I can cook."

Behind me I heard X shuffle his tunic off and then his breathable cotton black t-shirt on while I slipped into a fresh set of panties and finally the white shorts while X snickered, "Raven, comes with kick-ass karate-chop action and light up eyes, but some accessories required, batteries not included."

Laughing at his own joke I shot him a dark look at the same I was slipping on my boots and he was buttoning and zipping up his pants. He then took his blaster and tucked it into the front of his pants and hid it under his t-shirt, he crossed his arms over his chest, leaned on one leg and watched me with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and after I finished tying up the last lace of my boot I grabbed my blaster and I too tucked it into my shorts, but in the back. Afterwards I pulled my hair over my shoulder and turned my back on X while I tilted my head forward so my chin touched my chest, "Hurry up and take this thing off my neck so we can get this over with."

X approached me and gently took a hold of the device and began to do as Strongheart instructed him to in picking the stupid little thing off of me. I felt his breath on my neck as he said slowly, the concentration thick in his voice, "You know … for one of the quiet Titans on the team, you sure don't have any patience."

I scoffed, "Common misconception, I say plenty, I just don't say the things people want to hear."

He paused in his picking to look over my shoulder down at me, I tilted my head to the side to look into his playful amber eyes that chastised me, "Be honest here Rae, you mean you shoot people down and push them away. Right?"

I narrowed my eyes, "Well if I shoot people down I guarantee you they won't do the same stupid thing around me again, and if I know that person is doing something stupid what kind of person would I be not to inform them of their stupidity. Since we can't kill the stupid people in the world I do my part by letting them know they're stupid … and I don't push people away, I make sure they know I don't want them near me."

"…" he arched a brow and stared at me with a long and hard look before he asked, "You honestly think that?"

I rolled my eyes and tipped my head back down so my chin was back against my chest, "This is not relevant to our situation X, ask questions when this is all over."

He scoffed, but continued to pick the device, "It may not be relevant, but after all this blows over I may not get a chance to talk to you again, so I might as well steal my time while I still have some."

_Click!_

The device fell off and clattered to the metal floor, I sucked in a deep breath when I felt all my power come rushing to the surface at once. Along with it I could finally feel the auras that surrounded the entire wing of this prison, but the strongest, of course, was X who still stood closely behind me, just staring at me. I closed my eyes when I felt his emotions and life-energy swirling all around me, encasing me, and centered solely on me. It felt good to finally be able to read people with so little effort. I collected myself and sighed in relief, curling my fingers into tight fists, clenching them, then slowly releasing and repeating I whispered mostly to myself, "Good to be back …"

I turned to look at X who smirked and winked, "Good to have ya back sunshine."

I stared at him for a few seconds before I blinked and levitated in my lotus position and prepared to go on a little spiritual trip, I informed X before my travel, "I'll be back …"

He plopped on his cot with his hands tucked behind his head and made himself comfortable, "Well, just don't forget about me alright."

With that I took deep breaths, slowly chanted my mantra and when I opened my eyes my soul-self fled my body and traveled through out the prison focused on Blackfire's signature aura, it also helped that I memorized the map Strongheart had drawn out for us. Before long I had found Blackfire in a secluded part of the holding-cells and when I saw her I had to mentally stop myself from screeching in shock. She was stripped bare-naked as the day she was born and sealed tightly in what looked to be a shatter-proof container at the center of a large room with wires upon wires and tubes upon tubes feeding into her liquid hell.

With nothing but a breathing mask strapped over her mouth and nose that may have also acted as her feeding tube, she floated peacefully in her jar, her eyes closed, head bowed, and her body curled into a fetal-position her pitch-black hair flowed all around her. If anything I would have thought she was a sleep if I didn't know she was prisoner on a planet that hated her kind. Why Crisinite's wanted her in a liquid-jar I didn't know and quite frankly I didn't want to know. All that mattered was getting her out and with that mentality in mind I searched the room and found a glass window over looking her cell.

No doubt an Observation Deck, I darted through the wall, but made sure to remain unseen as I peered into the small room that controlled Blackfire's environment. Two locals that appeared to be scientists conversed briefly with one another, I had no idea what they were talking about, but at least I knew now what we were up against. With that, I soared back into my body and startled X when I gasped and came back to life, he sat up and glared at me, "A little warning would help next time ya know."

I ignored his complaint and stood on my feet, "I don't know what they're doing to her, but she's being held in some kind of experimental chamber … we're going to have to distract the scientists before we can get her out of here."

X arched a brow at the mention of _'experimental', _but he said nothing, however I felt his concern and pity towards the girl he barely knew. Back on his feet he nodded, "Alright then, let's do this."

"I'm going to drop you in with the scientists, take care of them while I set Blackfire free."

"Sounds like a plan."

I grabbed a hold of the edge of my cloak, whipped it up and encased the both of us in my darkness, however, instead of flying through the air like he had experienced back on Earth with me. I warped through wall after wall after wall so fast I knew he was losing his lunch, but I felt him try to focus all his attention on the mission and before long I arrived at the Observation Deck. I opened a black-hole and had the light flood into my dark world to allow X to jump out and deliver a smooth surprise attack.

I left him to do his bidding as I warped down to Blackfire's chamber, hesitantly (I had no idea what the liquid she was in was made out of) I phased my hand through the glass and flinched when I felt the green liquid was not as smooth as water. It was thicker, but not gelatin, more like egg yoke and it felt disgusting, but it didn't matter as I grabbed Blackfire's arm and yanked her out of her glass cage. She was still unconscious, so when she was outside she was dead weight I couldn't carry, I grunted as I tried to hold her up, _Oh god she's heavier than she looks!_ Through gritted teeth I looped her arm around my shoulder and stilled when I heard an alarm go off, I cursed softly, "Shit …"

Phasing back into the Observation Deck where X was keeping an eye on the incapacitated scientists, I struggled to keep Blackfire on me while X draped on of the scientist's robes around her naked body. I helped to slip her arms through the hole while X tied it off and asked, "Got a plan to get us out of here sunshine?"

"Follow the map of course." I responded as X took Blackfire's weight off of me and propped her on his back. I made sure her arms were over his shoulder while he hooked his arms under her to keep her from sliding off his back and hunched over he glared dryly at me.

"Yeah, the map, like this isn't inconspicuous enough. Let's stop and ask for directions incase we get lost."

I sneered, "Oh you are just ever so funny."

He grunted when Blackfire started to slip, he bounced her back on his back and scowled, "She ain't gettin' any lighter here!"

"Whine, whine, whine," I mocked as I once again encased us all in my darkness and phased us through the walls, this time heading straight up focusing my direction solely on that one little island that the Crisinite docked and where I assumed the map pointed to. In no time at all the alarms died down as my raven-self darted out of the water with a splash and flew straight towards the island. I circled it once looking for a docking station, and found much to my great relief a lone ship that seemed to match the description Strongheart had written down on his handy-dandy notes.

Without further ado I landed on the hot sandy beach and released X and Blackfire from my hold. X nearly fell to the sand from being off balanced, but held his ground and again bounced Blackfire so she wouldn't fall off while I searched the ship for anyway of getting in and I found it when I spotted a pad under its belly. I pressed my hand on it and its cargo ramp dropped open, X rushed on board and disposed of Blackfire on one of the seats before he came back down to call me in when I wasn't following behind him, "Come on! What are you waiting for?!"

True … what was I waiting for?

The plan had gone smoothly and easily with the help of my powers, but … I don't know … something didn't feel right.

My gut was telling me something was wrong, and it wasn't my powers warning me, but my internal gut … I bit down on my lower lip and glanced around Crisious Prime for a second. Just for a second to see if I could sense anything out of the ordinary, if I could find … _something _that might have triggered this hesitation within me. I sighed heavily, closed my eyes and shook my head, maybe I was just being paranoid, I don't know.

X then appeared before me and snapped his fingers in my face to gain my attention, like he always does and he shrugged, "Houston, what's the problem?"

I blinked, came back into focus and shook my head again, "It's nothing, let's go."

I maneuvered around him towards the ship, but he grabbed my elbow and pulled me back to him, I looked back at him as he glared down at me and asked seriously, "You sure?"

I nodded and pulled my arm back, "Yes … now let's go."

With that I ushered us both into the ship and sat at the pilot's chair, X took the seat just behind me after he strapped the still unconscious Blackfire to her seat. I flipped a few switched, turned a couple of knobs, and got the ship online, thankfully all the labels were in English. Where Strongheart had gotten such a ship went beyond me, but once I closed the cargo-ramp and got the engines started I got us the hell out of there. Firmly grasping one of the handles, I reached for the thrusters to my right and pushed it up to give the engine a little boost as I hovered off the ground.

I punched in the coordinates X handed to me, set my course and maneuvered the ship so we can break through the planet's atmosphere at the right launch angle. It sounded technical, but for someone who knew a little about rocket-science (thank you Cyborg) it was cake. It was a steep ascent and I felt gravity push down on me as I pushed the little ship faster to break the barrier. Climbing rapidly in altitude, the ship rocking violently back and forth I frowned when I heard a steady beeping sound of warning.

X heard it too and asked, "What's that?"

I checked everything and found the radar to my right; I tapped on the screen and scowled, "Fighter ship, coming up at our five o'clock, if he gets lined up at our six we're done for. Hope you're strapped in X, executing evasive maneuvers."

With that I jerked the handles to my left and the ship tumbled in a downward spiral, I heard X cussing black and blue when I finally straightened out and pulled the wheel towards my body to pull the ship back up in another steep ascent. The fighter-jet behind me was no push over, it followed my every move flawlessly and finally had me locked on; the sensors of my ship went crazy. I ignored X's panic when the ship told me the fighter had launched two missiles, I diploid flares then pulled back on my wheel so hard the ship flipped up and over, then spiraled downward trying to stay out of the fighter's missile range.

X shouted, "Doesn't this thing have anything to fight back with?!"

"No! Now shut up!" I shouted back and gasped when the fighter-jet opened fire and nearly nicked my wing, I gritted my teeth and dove down even further towards the open waters bringing the fighter directly on my tail at my six o'clock. He locked on, and fired another missile, but a bit too late. I was close enough to the water that when he fired the missile exploded and sprayed his ship with so much water and smoke I messed up his sensor and he crashed into the ocean with a spectacular display of smoke, fire, water, and debris.

He probably wasn't coming out of that alive, X cheered me on, but I sullenly got us back on course when I noticed that even more fighter-jets were closing in on us. This time, once I got at the max altitude I activated the thrusters and with a burst of power we shot through the atmosphere and into space well on our way to Tameran. Making sure our course was set, and the stars were clear, I activated the autopilot and unbuckled myself from my chair to swing myself around to breathe.

With my head in my hands I smoothed back my hair and sat up when I heard X walk up to me, I expected him to be standing over me, but instead he crouched at my side and smirked up at me, "One of these days sunshine, you're gonna teach me how to fly a baby like this."

I scoffed, "Oh it's easy it's just rocket science."

He chuckled and stood back up, "Yeah … I'm sure it is …" he then looked back at Blackfire and I followed his gaze to stare at the incapacitated banished-princess. I frowned while X sighed, "Now what the hell are we going to do with her?"

"Don't know … but it seems like she's heavily medicated."

X snorted, "Ya think … wonder what they did to her, implant her with alien-babies maybe … isn't that what usually happens in all these alien abduction stories?"

"Never believe what you hear," I stood up and pushed him out of my way to get to Blackfire, I unstrapped her from her seat and picked her head up so I can get a better look at her. Her skin was still slick and slimy from the gunk that she was floating in so I took the edge of my cloak and started to clear her of it, but she still remained unmoving, I felt her neck for a pulse and found it to be exceptionally strong. Afterwards I carefully opened up the cloak that was the only article of clothing she had on and began to check her body for cuts, bruises or injuries of the like.

Nothing.

She was clean as a whistle.

I sighed and stood back up, X hovered over me as I said aloud, "Well, she's not going to come to any time soon I don't think … whatever she's on is doing the trick."

"Think she'll stay knocked-out for the remainder of the flight?"

"More than likely, and I'd prefer it too, I don't really feel like dealing with her right now." As I said this I walked around X to sit back down on the captain's chair, I swung it back around and began to check our course and the condition of the ship while I heard X's clanking footsteps (clanking because of the steel-toes and heels in his boots against the ships metal deck) approach.

He leaned on the back of my chair and watched me work while saying, "She must have really did a number on you to make you hate her so much."

I rolled my eyes, "Hate is a strong word, I don't hate Blackfire. I just don't like her; she's not a very pleasant individual. In my opinion when Starfire banished her, the punishment was much too lenient. Blackfire is a selfish, conniving, lying, cheating, scheming little weasel that deserves whatever she gets …"

And I meant every word of it … even though I took into consideration that Starfire was a nice girl (too nice) and still loved her sister dearly, a love that I wouldn't know of since I was an only child (thank Azar for that), but the more I thought of it. The more convinced I was that Blackfire should have been – for lack of a better term – put to death, because the way I saw it, if she bothered to come back _twice _for her sister's head than who's the say she'll ever stop? Better to put an end to the chaos and gut out the problem from the root.

It was at this point in thought did X suddenly spin my chair around from the control-panel so I was now facing him as he trapped me in my chair one hand on each armrest so his face was just inches from mine. I remained unfazed, even when faced with that malicious grin on his tempting lips and the smell of trouble on his breath as he breathed warm hot air on my face and down my neck. I pressed my thighs together when I was faintly reminded of Malchior's heavy breathing going down the back of my neck, I could visualize and feel him on me so vividly in my head I was almost too embarrassed to look X into his sly golden eyes.

Keyword being: _almost._

X couldn't read my mind; ergo he didn't have to know what I was thinking about so long as I gave no hint of where my thoughts had fluttered. I blinked, took in a deep breath and leaned back in my chair comfortably as I heard X recite what I had just previously said about Blackfire, "Selfish, conniving, lying, cheating little weasel huh … funny, kind of sounds like someone I know."

At first I thought he was talking about me, since I knew I was selfish to still want to keep him as a friend, I was conniving in the sense I seemed to manipulate my friends into thinking I was such a good person, I was a liar because I never told Robin the truth about X, and I was cheating. Yet, as I put it all into context I realized that it wasn't _me _he was talking about, but _himself, _I narrowed my eyes and slowly shook my head in confusion, "Are you comparing yourself to Blackfire?"

He shrugged, "Not so much as myself to her in the real, but about how you view the both of us as one in the same …" his grin darkened, "you know I'm not a nice guy Rae … but you still gave me a shot, and now you just can't seem to get enough of me. So who's to say that Cutie-Number-Two over there can't get the same treatment?"

I blinked, glanced at Blackfire and with my eyes still narrowed I looked back up at X and asked, still a bit confused about where he was going with all of this, "Are you … defending her against my views?"

"No, I'm just using her as a stepping-stone to the point I am about to make."

"… Which would be …?"

"You know what I am, you know what I do, but you _really _like me, from day one when our little bonding started, you liked me."

He was being serious, despite his cocky grin and his devilish eyes, he felt like he had me all figured out, but as I gave his revelation some thought I licked my lower lip and sighed heavily in boredom. I knew he'd pull something like this somewhere down the line, but how convenient for him to do so when we were still standing on our stalemate … if anything he gave me the right incentive to initiate a close friendship with him, "So I like you, it's not a crime to be attracted to you."

X blinked and stood up, setting me free of his little cage to stare me down with a cocked brow and a bewildered look, "You'd admit to something like that?"

I recycled his words and spat it back in his face without remorse, "And you're surprised?" It took him a moment, but he remembered the phrase and scoffed in amusement as he smoothed back his hair and watched me cross my left leg over my right and my arms over my chest. Still sitting comfortably in my chair I shrugged my left shoulder, "This isn't high-school X, so let's be honest, are you not attracted to me?"

He chuckled and nodded, "Actually I'm _very _attracted to you, but now that we've come to this little conclusion, where do you think we should go from here?"

Malchior's face flashed in my head and with it came an idea that was so taboo, so sinfully wrong I should be ashamed to have even conjured up such a blatant thought to begin with. _Then again … no one said I was a Saint anyway, _I thought and with a slow gaze of my eyes I scanned X from the tip of his head to the very point of his toes before I blinked and looked back up at him. My empathetic powers automatically kicked in and I could feel his anticipation and excitement swirl within his vivid aura as he stared at me and curiously pondered about what I was pondering.

I didn't keep him in suspense for much longer as I uncrossed my arms and propped them at the edge of my seat, I leaned forward and said, "Well, think about it, we've been seeing each other for six months and our relationship has gone nowhere … don't lie to me, you've thought of sleeping with me, haven't you?"

The reaction to the blunt question was almost comical for a man like X, I almost expected him to flush beet-red as he shuffled from one foot to the next and again smoothed back his hair while he chuckled to hide his shock and discomfort as I stared him down without flinching, "Damn girl, was that a trick question?"

I shook my head, "No, and while we're being honest, I'll admit the thought of being with you has occurred, if not but faintly."

He blinked and his amber eyes suddenly narrowed on me suspiciously when he asked, "Where are you going with this?"

I felt that he already knew, but he was hesitant to think it, he'd rather hear me say it so I did as I pushed off my chair and sauntered up to him. "Put it this way X: you'll be the closest friend I know from now … on." Without so much as a shaky hand I grasp the hem of his pants and pulled him closer to me, he complied without question … what hot-blooded male wouldn't when _Raven of the Titans _was coming-on to them? The thought of just my name being associated with something as hollow as a sex-symbol aggravated me. So my uniform isn't exactly modest, but hell, compared to most women on Planet Earth and other places, I should be considered as dull as a librarian!

And that saying about the quiet one's being the freakiest in bed?

Who in the hell made that load of crap up?

So I choose not to bother with the stupidity that surrounds me I'm immediately considered a horny-rabbit that needs to be screwed on a daily basis? I don't think so, I may be half-demon, but sex wasn't high on my list, not even after I shared my bed with Malchior. The experience was mind-blowing, yes, but that was because I've never done that sort of thing with anyone. Of course I'd revisit the night every now and again in my head simply because it was a significant point in my life that ranked up there with sending my father back to Hell, Terra's betrayal, and reinitiating into the Titan fold.

If anyone were to walk in my shoes for one day they'd realize that even they would not be able to completely black out key events in my life that I considered of great significance.

So, yeah, go ahead and judge me for who I am and what I do, it's not my problem that other people find my sins interesting enough to take notice of.

Speaking of notice, I looked up at X when I felt one of his warm hands press against the side of my face before sliding it into my silky-hair to grasp the back of my head. He stared down at me with a long, hard look as if trying to find a reason to say no to me, trying to find out if I was just saying what I said to challenge him, and in a way I was. I waited patiently for him to say something, I honestly wanted to know what he'd do, if he was the kind of person to go for my offer, dive in head first, or turn me down based on moral or ethical dilemmas.

He bit down on his lower lip and then grasped my face with both hands and glared at me in frustration, I could feel it. He wanted so badly to say yes, to accept what I had brought to the table, but at the same time he had to know if this was real or not, he just had to ask, "Are you sure about this, what's the catch?"

I nodded, "I'm sure … and there's no catch, we'll simply have a non-coupling relationship if that makes sense. I'm sure there are far more dirtier terms for what I'm suggesting, but I'll keep it PG for now."

That devilish gleam returned to his amber eyes and his dark grin slowly, lazily touched his lips as he let one of his hands slide to my shoulder, while the other slithered back into my hair behind my head. My grip on his pants tightened and I pulled him impossibly closer as he whispered, "Oh you are just ever so adorable when you're trying to be funny sunshine."

I sneered, but he wiped it off my face with a kiss that was hollow and lacking of all other emotion other than excitement and lust. Oh, how he wanted me, wanted me so bad it felt like he _needed_ me, I felt it in the pit of my gut and the pain of so much unreleased pleasure made me moan into his kiss when I felt him massage my mouth open to finally have a taste of me. His grip on me suddenly became possessive, no one else, that's what I was getting from him; no one else could have me but him. It struck me as odd that a person like him would be the possessive type, I would have never thought it so till now and speaking of now I hissed when he found a sweet-spot at the roof of my jaw just behind my front teeth.

He rubbed it slowly before he pulled away to suck on my lower lip and nibble on it. It made my toes curl for I had forgotten how good a kiss like this could feel like with someone else. X pressed his lips to mines in one last hard kiss before he pulled away entirely to observe my flustered cheeks and slightly breathless state and smirked, he licked his lips as if savoring every bit of me and it sent a shiver down my spine. Especially when he glanced over his shoulder to notice Blackfire hadn't moved an inch from her spot and then shot me an evil look as he gestured with a jerk of his head to the knocked-out alien, "She's practically dead ya know …"

I narrowed my eyes, "A little too eager aren't you?"

He shrugged and brought his lips down to my left ear, he whispered huskily into it, purposefully blowing into it to make me squirm, "Just cover your mouth if you need to scream."

I gritted my teeth when he kissed my ear and down my neck to my shoulder, I breathed deeply trying not to pant when I felt the heat rushing throughout my body from the pit of my gut, "She can wake up at any moment –!" I swallowed a yelp when he pulled me down on one of the seats and forced me to straddle his lap. I glared down him and smacked his chest; he only chuckled and took my hand into his.

I watched him kiss my palm but then the hinges of my jaw slackened when he licked the full length of my finger straight to the tip and then back down on the side to run the tip of his tongue in between the valley of my index and middle fingers. The sensation left me breathless, but watching him do it created an aching itch within me that begged to be scratched. He smirked and tilted his head so a cowlick fell to shield one of his golden pools and arrogantly he asked, "You were saying?"

I leaned down with my hands on his chest and I forced him back against his chair as I whispered just inches above his lips, "Cheater."

"Is that a yes?"

"…!" I didn't get the chance to say anything for a rather loud and invasive: _BEEP _echoed throughout the ship and made me sit up so fast I nearly fell back off of X's lap. Lucky me, his hand was behind my back so he held me up as I glared at the control-panel and said one word (or rather name) that completely killed the mood, "Strongheart …"

X scoffed and helped me back on my feet, I walked towards my chair, sat in it and swung it around, I searched for the radio link and pressed a button so the window looking out into the stars suddenly became a screen dominated by Strongheart's face. X stood behind me with his arms crossed, no doubt loathing the Tameranian for his intrusion, I ran my fingers through my hair and responded just after Strongheart said, _"Ah, there you both are, good to see you're well on your way to Tameran … were you successful?"_

I nodded, "Blackfire is as far as I can tell physically well, but she appears to be under some kind of narcotic that's preventing her from waking."

Strongheart frowned, _"Well, that's too bad … I hope there's nothing seriously wrong with her."_

"I don't think there is, but you'll know as soon as we arrive back on Tameran."

"_Indeed. Have a safe flight, may Zalu be with you."_

"Right."

Strongheart ended the transmission and I sat back in my chair with a small frown on my lips as my gut started to act up again. That unsure, hesitant, paranoid feeling was coming back and I didn't like it, I licked my lips and swung my chair around to stare at Blackfire for a moment while X moved to lean on the back of my chair and asked lazily, "Wasup?"

"… I don't know …" I said honestly with a shake of my head and whispered mostly to myself however X was still able to hear it, "… but whatever it is I don't like it …"

"… Meaning …?"

"Meaning … something's not right, but I just can't put my finger on it."

X snorted and as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy he said, "It's Strongheart."

I blinked and looked up at him, "Strongheart? What of him?"

He shrugged, "I dunno, I just don't like his face."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, your dislike of someone's appearance is a logical reason to suspect they are up to no good."

"Hey, logic is overrated."

"Whatever …" I disregarded him on his views of logic, but contemplated the suggestion of Strongheart – minus his appearance – the story of the Embarrassments verses the Forsaken replayed in my mind. Something was wrong with it … something was missing, I just didn't know what it was and not knowing was bothering me.

X saw it and nudged me for my attention, I looked up at him thinking he had something significant to say, but instead he roughly kissed me and damn near yanked me off my chair to lean against him as he leaned on the control-panel. When he finally pulled away leaving my lips red and swollen he said, "Whatever it is, don't stress out over it, it's not your problem, what is your problem is getting us both out of here alive and in one piece."

I inwardly scoffed as I pulled away from him to sit back down on my seat to think, _It's easy for him to say that when all he's cared about for most of his life was himself …_ my gaze trailed back to Blackfire and my frown deepened, _Why do I feel like I have to protect you?_

**--**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but I do own Crisius Prime and Strongheart … btw, Blackfire's real Tameranian name is Komand'r, **_**NOT**_** Toriand'r, just found this out recently, but I will continue using Toriand'r simply because I can. So I am letting all of you know right now, Toriand'r is MY name that I MADE UP!! **

**A/N: HOLD IT!! Before any of you go off on your 'WTF' rampages or flip the panic switch, I ask you to press the 'Relax' button and allow me to defend myself for the Rae/X moment. For starters just let the story roll it will all make sense later I promise! I've been wanting to push Raven's character to the limit and make her as risqué as can be while still maintaining her essence (hopefully I managed to do just that). **

**Writing this story just gave me the excuse and hell if she's already playing catch she might as well play ball and go pro. I always considered her to be a straight-forward kind of girl anyway and if you still have any disagreements about where this is going, I'm sorry, but I still thank you for taking the time to read it. Besides that, I hope this satisfies (for now anyway) those of you who keep encouraging me to write a lemon (you know who you guys are o.O).**

**Just let me know what you think, feedback is **_**always **_**appreciated, HAPPY NEW YEARS!! So until then … **

**L8er daez**


	8. They Started It

**Long Road to Ruin**

**They Started It**

The flight to Crisious Prime according to Strongheart had taken two Earthly days, so assuming we (and by we I meant X, Blackfire, and myself) don't get lost and stay on track two Earthly days is how long it would take to get back to Tameran. However, it was kind of hard to judge time when one of us was still dead asleep, and two of us were night-owls and pretty much insomniacs. The night-owls, of course, being X and myself who kept ourselves busy and entertained by just talking … and on occasion playing some stupid game X and a couple of his high-school friends use to play when they were freshmen.

A game that involved a lot of pain (go figure) and a complete lack of all common sense whatsoever, but still I played it since there was nothing else to do. The game was called Tap-Out, and the object of it was to get the other guy to, well, _tap-out _by grabbing them in a chock hold and squeezing the life out of them and that was _if _I was able to sneak up on that person to begin with. As any onlooker could imagine, playing this sort of game in a cramped ship was damn near impossible, but with 48 hours to kill and a lot of time on our hands to think and talk, there also came opportunities to plan sneak attacks.

X, took every opportunity to plan and at some points he even caught me off guard and nearly wrapped his arm around my neck, but I had grabbed his arm, twisted it and dropped him to the ground in a classic police hold. He grunted, moaned, and groaned about how he had the unfair advantage being the one with out powers; I just rolled my eyes and let him complain while I went back to checking our coordinates, keeping us on track and checking up on Blackfire.

She was starting to worry me.

It was now the ending of the second Earth day and we were coming into Tameran's orbit, but she _still _hadn't woken up. I began to try and see if I could find a way, and I started with a hard slap to her face that shocked X out of his zoned-out state of mine to stare at me in confusion, "Uh … what are you doing?"

"Trying to wake her up," I slapped her again.

X cringed and stood up from his chair to stand at my side, "Well I don't think violence is going to work … she slept straight through all the noise _you _made when you slammed me to the ground I don't think hitting her will do any good."

I shot him a dry look, "Well you got a better idea?"

He tilted his head in thought then lifted Blackfire's head up and stared at her face long and hard for a second before the light-bulb lit up in his head, "Got some adrenaline meds in this place?"

I arched a brow, "Epinephrine? You want to jump start her heart with another drug? You could kill her! You don't know what else is in her system!"

"You got a better idea?"

I scowled, "Smartass."

He ignored me and started to search around for the medical-kit, surprisingly it didn't take him long to find it and when he did he popped the top open and started to read all of the needles in the kit. I knelt beside him and yanked the box away, he glared at me and reached for it, but I pushed him back and with a cold dark glare I growled, "I am not going to let you kill her."

"I could be saving her life." He made another grab for the box, but I stretched out my leg and kicked it far from his reach while I grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pressed him to the floor of the ship. He grunted and then sneered, "You know, I offered for a little fun earlier, but you refused; now I don't very much feel like playing with you anymore."

"Shut up and think, there has to be a better way to –" I stopped myself when I felt Blackfire's aura flare up, not dangerously so, but the way a comatose person would awaken after a _looong_ slumber. I sat up straight, still holding X down and looked over my shoulder to see Blackfire roll her head from against haul of the ship down so her chin was to her chest and then finally her eyes slowly opened. I let go of X and stood up to watch as Blackfire blinked her eyes open and found the strength to lift her head up to gaze around the ship.

Her lavender eyes narrowed when she asked the obvious, "Where am I …?"

Of course, this was before she swung her head around to notice X and I standing near the control-panel watching her like observers in a zoo would watch an exotic animal to study its habits. She glared at me after giving X a momentary glance of curiosity and scowled condescendingly, with her higher-than-thou tone of voice she stretched every word she said when she addressed me, "Raven, not exactly the first person I'd expect to see in a transporter like this … did my dear little sister send you?"

"No," I answered and then got straight to the point, "but I am taking you back to Tameran since my life seems to depend on your safe return."

"Really …" she didn't seem all that interested and even glanced down at herself to notice her state of dress, or lack-there-of and arched a brow, "You couldn't have given me a decent set of attire? I'm freezing ya know."

"When you're on the run you don't really have time to be picky."

She grunted and unbuckled herself from her seat to sit forward and cup her head in her hands, "Ugh, your vagueness is not doing anything for my head, tell me, if it's not my sister that has bestowed upon you these orders to kidnapped me from Crisious Prime then who's command do you fall under?"

It was at this point did X speak up while I listened intently, "Kidnapped? You were pretty much a pickle in a jar before we came to bust your ass out."

She sneered, "Yeah, well, that pickle-jar was a rejuvenation capsule; a friend of mine from Crisious said I could use it to restore my health and power-level ever since my dear-dear sister had me banished from Tameran." Blackfire then scoffed and crossed one of her legs over the other while she sat back up and leaned against her chair. She narrowed her lavender eyes when she added, "Since birth the naïve little twit has never understood what exactly _banishment _from Tameran really means around these parts."

"And you do?" I interjected.

She looked up at me and smirked, "As a matter of fact I do, you see, they – being my people – will strap the banished Tameran to a device that sucks away all lethal energy to leave the banished with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the abilities of a bumgorf." She then shrugged lazily and added, "With all my connections in places of ill-repute you can see that I wasn't planning on rolling over and playing dead."

I frowned, "So all that back at Crisious … was voluntary?"

She laughed, "Of course it was! What idiot drained of all their power would in their right mind pass up a rejuvenation capsule? They are very rare and I guarantee you despite how sweet my little sister is, even she wouldn't turn it down if given the chance."

My frown deepened while that paranoid feeling in my gut started to churn over and over again till I felt sick. Strongheart had said Blackfire was in trouble and sent X and me on a rescue mission, but the mission had gone too smoothly, hell, Blackfire wasn't even guarded and for good reason she was just there to revitalize her systems and we interrupted that. Come to think of it … everything X and myself had done was based under assumptions and what we were told simply because we didn't know anything at all about these alien planets. All we've known was Earth (and Azarath pertaining to myself, but that's a different matter), the point is we've been running around like chickens with our head chopped off going where the aliens said to go and believing in whatever we were told to believe.

Well, my gut started to rebel against blind belief after everything Blackfire had said, and she had no reason to lie to us, hell, she sounded quite smug about using one of the rare rejuvenation-capsule so it was safe to assume she was about as clueless as X and I were at the moment. I sighed heavily and sat down on my captain's chair to stare at the ground in thought, while Blackfire stretched to get the circulation back into her body and X leaned on the back of my chair and asked, "Still think something's wrong?"

I looked up at him through the corner of my eye and my lashes, "Did you hear what Blackfire said? She didn't need rescuing; she was there to restore herself so in a way she's right. We did kidnap her, but why would Strongheart lie to us?"

He shrugged, "Maybe he got the wrong message from one of his informants, who knows, who cares."

I scoffed, "I care … we could have set ourselves up for a trap … or condemned Blackfire to death."

"Death is a strong word sunshine."

"But it's appropriate … you remember the story he told us about the conflict between the Embarrassments and the Forsaken Ones?" I didn't wait for a response I continued to make my point while my eyes locked on the ground and glared at nothing while I put the pieces back into place to see the bigger picture. "Well, the Forsaken are the royal family right? Strongheart was born an Outcast, which means he never stood a chance; he was brought up to be prejudice against those of noble blood. Banishment or not Blackfire _is _noble blood," I shook my head, "you can't tell me a lifetime of teachings and coaching had all been washed away the moment he saw her."

X, again, shrugged dismissively, "True love maybe? I dunno."

I snorted and stood up, "True love my ass, I don't believe in that …"

"Well, he did seem to genuinely like her, who are you to question the way someone else feels?"

"When those feelings conflict with your belief you are going to be forced to make a choice and might I remind you life is not a Disney movie where all your dreams come true if you wish upon a star and follow your heart. That's the fastest way to get yourself killed if you're that naïve."

X laughed and shook his head, "Damn Rae, are you _that _negative?"

I didn't bother to respond, not when I felt Blackfire's slowly growing aura approach with light barefooted steps. I looked over my shoulder to find the tall sexy alien with her alluring eyes staring at me and a permanent smirk on her tempting full lips, "What's so funny?"

Again, I didn't bother to respond, but this time it was because the computers were warning me about the gravitational pull of Tameran when the large purple celestial ball finally came into view. I sat myself back in my chair, swirled around and locked myself in place then strapped myself in, I told the others to do the same as I slipped on headphones to translate any oncoming transmissions while I firmly grasped the handles and pulled us off autopilot. A feminine computer voice suddenly spoke up, _"Angle of approach: Good."_

I kept the ship on course despite the violent shaking and trembling of the haul as I brought us through the atmosphere at a 45 degree angle. Still in the clouds with zero visibility of the ground I locked my concentration on flying, even when I heard that familiar _BEEP_ which meant we were receiving a transmission. I tapped the left side of my headphones to begin translation when a male voice, obviously a scout rattled off in my ear, _"Warning, unidentified aircraft, this is a restricted airspace, fly down and dock at O-2-9 station. Comply or I will use deadly force."_

From my left peripheral I saw a Tameranian fighter-jet swoop in to flank my left, he had an clear shield and through this he gestured with his thumb to fly down. Behind me, Blackfire frowned, "That's an attack-ship … what the hell is going on?"

I ignored her demand and instead said, "Hold on."

With that, I pulled my ship up and tumbled over the attack-ship, the Tameranian never knew what hit him when I dropped down on his left wing and smoothly slid under him, but stayed under him. Then, with a quick jerk I smacked the top of our ship to the bottom of his and sent him off course, I knew it would take him longer to get over the shock than to correct himself. So in that time I forced my ship down and dropped out of the sky in a rapid decent that made the computer panic, _"Angle of approach: Bad."_

At this point it just felt like I completely cut the engines and we were falling right out of the sky nose first. X gripped his seat and gritted his teeth when that stomach-falling sensation started to take its toll, Blackfire braced herself while her eyes darted from me to the rapidly approaching ground then back to me. I then twisted into a spiral that made X cringed and shout my name in panic, "Raven!"

Without warning, I pulled up and nearly bounced off the ground as I hovered literally ten feet over the barren purple landscape keeping to the coordinates Strongheart had given us. This close to the ground I flew under the radar headed for the Wastelands. With the ship once again steady, Blackfire and X took a breather, but Blackfire was quick to mouth off, "Okay, what was that all about? Why aren't you taking me to Lenphog'Dor?"

I sighed when I remembered _Lenphog'Dor _was the palace, so I said, "Because you're still banished from Tameran …" then an idea struck me, I tested it, "Yet, surprisingly the only person who actually _wants _you back is Strongheart … you know him?"

I didn't have to look back in order to feel Blackfire's astonishment, bewilderment, and confusion as she sat back in her chair and softly repeated Strongheart's name in Tameran, "Ja'marnixzz … you're taking me to Strongheart? Why?"

"I told you already, he wants you back … he was worried, he thought you were captured on Crisious Prime."

Her aura flared angrily, "And you believed him?!"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because Strongheart is a stupid closed-minded Kuriphim'gar that still blames the nobles for a war that was their fault to begin with."

"That's not what he told us, he said the royals were the one's trying to exterminate the Embarrassments."

"Uh, yeah, that's because they came together and tried to overthrow all of society, I had descendents who died in such a stupid war that never should have happened to begin with! Total anarchy is what they're after."

I could have called her on that anarchy bit for she wasn't too keen on following rules either, but I bit my tongue and instead stayed on topic. The truth was finally coming out and I wanted to know every lie Strongheart had told us, "And the traditional tournaments?"

"Again! Their doing! You see here on Tameran convicted criminals are put into what your Earthen tongue would call a _Prison Farm, _and based on the severity of the crime the criminal will be tossed into a plot of land that corresponds to their category. If you ask me the idiots probably grew bored and started to fight one another as entertainment and sport, but they blame the nobles for their own stupidity." I felt Blackfire glaring holes into the back of my head when I didn't respond to her explanation and suddenly her anger was directed at me, "You don't believe me … do you?"

I sucked in a deep breath, still concentrating on getting to the Wastelands I said, "It's kind of hard to considering you're not exactly the most trustworthy person I know."

"Well why would I lie?"

"That's your prerogative, I'm not looking for a reason behind what you tell me, I'm looking for the better way out and so far, the way I see it despite Strongheart's evil intent he gave us the chance at freedom."

Blackfire scowled and clenched her hands into tight fists of frustration, "He could be lying to you and you'd still take his side over mine?"

"…"

She growled when I didn't respond, "I will not be ushered to my execution without a fight!"

Through the reflection of the glass I saw Blackfire's eye's glow dark lavender and she was aimed directly at me, but she never got the shot off, not with X on standby. I had no idea he had saved the suppressant he had picked off of my neck, but I was relieved when he jumped Blackfire from behind and strapped the device on. She screamed in outrage when she was turned powerless and held down by a mere human that she could have otherwise thrown out the window without much effort at all. X remained on top of her, pressing her stomach flat to the ground, her hands behind her back with his knee holding her hands against her lower-back Blackfire screamed again, "I have done nothing personally wrong to –!!"

I cut her off, "You tried to have your sister, my friend, killed numerous times did you really think I wouldn't take it personal? For your own sake Blackfire, keep your mouth _closed, _or I will make Strongheart's life easier and kill you myself."

She challenged me with a sneer that I didn't see while I concentrated on landing this ship near the massive crater where the arena was in. I came in at a hover and Blackfire hissed, "You can't kill me … you don't have the heart."

Once the ship was down, turned off, and the cargo-ramp was dropped so we can off-load I stood face to face with the tall alien ex-princess as she glared down at me with such a dark look that it could have reduced me to ashes if she were to have her powers fully functional. Just before X dragged her off the ship I reminded her of one simple fact that most people overlook about me, "You don't know me."

With that I helped X drag her off the ship, but it was then did I notice her hands were bound by the itchy rope that held us together on Crisious Prime. I shot him a questioning look and like he usually does, he smirked and winked at me as if it were a joke meant to only be shared by us. I rolled my eyes and sighed when I noticed three Tameranian males fly up from the crater, Strongheart at the lead as he dropped from the sky and quickly approached us with a very devious grin on his face when his sights were set on our catch.

X kicked the back of Blackfire's knee and forced her to the ground, I shot him another look, but he ignored me as he held Blackfire's head and forced it to the ground to take the lead in the transactions. I let him, only because I was curious to know what he was planning, I could see it in his amber eyes, that mischievous glimmer that said: I'm up to no good. He jerked his head to the side in order to get a cowlick of hair from his sights and glared at Strongheart, "You know … I should have told you this before, but I don't do kidnapping."

Strongheart chuckled, "Oh I am quite aware of it, that's why I lied, I had to get someone to bring this _hexezbrk'fe_ back on Tameran to finally complete our tournament." He crouched to Blackfire's level and grasped her chin in his hand to force her to look at him, Blackfire stubbornly tried to resist, but he was obviously stronger, "For what is a celebration without a sacrificial lamb, hmm?"

Blackfire sneered, "You act as if killing me will solve your people's problems, our lineage will go on and there is nothing you can do to stop it."

"I never said I wanted to wipe your bloodline off the face of this terra, but just to be able to kill one of you will suffice." He roughly released her and stood up, he gestured for his men to take Blackfire away, but X dragged her back away from them.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down here for a second, what about our little phone call, you said if we did this you'd call up Earth to come pick us up."

Strongheart impatiently huffed and blinked, "Already done, now all you have to do is wait."

Again his men made a grab for Blackfire, but this time X picked Blackfire up by her forearm and swung her around so she was behind him, she grunted and whimpered at the harsh treatment she even glared up at X, but didn't say anything and let X do all the talking. And I wasn't so sure that was a good idea, I knew X wasn't the nicest nor the easiest guy to get along with, especially when he was _purposefully _trying to be an ass. Not only that, but with narrowed eyes I was beginning to suspect that he was stalling for something, probably trying to figure out a way to save Blackfire perhaps?

Why would he want to?

Morality maybe?

I don't know, but for whatever the reason, X was enjoying his little game, "Okay then, we'll wait till the Titans get here and then you can have your princess …" he looked at me, "The T-Ship has warp-drive right?" I nodded, he grinned and faced the scowling Strongheart, "Well, you said with warp-drive it won't take long to get from Earth to Tameran, so … I'm sure you can wait for a few right?"

Strongheart growled, "You are testing my patience human …" his eyes started to glow and I felt his aura grow stronger, bigger, brighter, and meaner, "Give me Toriand'r … or you both will be thrown back into the arena to fight the sluzgnorfs."

His men changed targets, they aimed for us and the moment they tried to grab me, I pulled out the blaster still tucked into the back of my shorts, armed it, and pointed at the hesitant Tameranian. Beside me, X had done the same with a cocky smirk on his face, "Tell your boys to back off or I set Blackfire free and we'll really have a party."

Strongheart snorted, "Toriand'r is a coward and a thief, she'll more than likely take flight than stand and help you fight."

Blackfire spoke up, "Oh, but for you Ja'marnixzz I'll make a special exception."

X chuckled, "You know what they say: Hell hath no fury … do you really wanna get your hands dirty for this?"

Strongheart flew high into the sky and his men followed his example, I sank into a defensive pose and slid up closer to X to whisper, "We're about to go up against three Tameranians … you sure in that arena match you didn't knock something loose in your head?"

"Pretty sure, but then again after our little talk I'm not sure my blood is going to all the right places if ya know what I mean."

I scowled, "Oh yeah, crack your sex jokes now while you still have a life to waste."

Strongheart, a top his high perch floated over our heads and stared us down like little insects he would no doubly squash without hesitation. The glow in his eyes grew brighter and began to spark as he shouted loud enough to make his voice boom across the empty plains, "This is your last chance human! Hand over the princess, or die!"

Blackfire scoffed and rolled her lavender eyes, "True born idiot, I was dethroned, I no longer hold a title."

X scoffed, "What is up with this guy anyway? Why does he need you right now?"

"To complete the ritual of course … the official tournament of _low-lives _can't begin unless someone of noble blood is slaughtered … just like my cousin was."

"Hmm … then I guess there's no point in reasoning with him," a quick glance at X, I saw him undo Blackfire's bindings. She sighed in relief and swirled into the air to hover over us much the same as Starfire would when she was in her battle-ready mode. Her eyes glowed a dark purple with her fisted-palms matching as she glared at Strongheart through her brows, X charged his blaster and stood beside me with a smirk, "well … can't say we didn't try to handle this peacefully. So let the good times roll."

Strongheart cried in outrage, "You fools will all die!"

Without hesitation I flipped my blaster to X and took to the skies while Blackfire darted forward, "Ja'marnixzz is mine!"

I brought forth my power from its depths and screamed, _"Azarath! Metrion! Zinthous!"_

The entire ground shuddered under my power as I cut out chucks of the earth and flung it at the Tameran who advanced me; I flew backwards while he smashed through the boulders like feathered pillows and with his eyes fired a concentrated blast of green energy. I quickly brought up a shield, but the impact threw me back down to earth where I nearly fell on X as he rolled under me, and let loose a stream of laser-bullets. Apparently, they were small machine guns and with each shot he nailed his opponent, but with the Tameranian's metallic arm-guards he blocked every shot then rained down his explosive starbolts.

I got on my hands and knees, but X grabbed the back of my cloak and would have dragged me out of the way if I hadn't already got to my feet and ran along side him. When the rain was over, we both skidded to a stop, back-to-back when I saw the man who shot me out of the sky floating a foot off the ground his right hand fisted and a dark smirk on his face. I prepared to charge, but X made a gesture that caught my attention when he said, "Launch me."

"Huh?"

"Launch me! Come on!" He leapt as high as he could in the air, and without further question I flew up with him, grabbed his wrist and encased him in my darkness. As fast as I could I spun us both around and on my second revolution I flung X back down with enough force to kill him if he should hit the ground with a nasty _splat_. I had no time to notice him flip into position so his foot was grabbed by the Tameranian, but before he could smash X to the ground, X took aim and fired pointblank in his face, unfortunately it was not a lethal charge.

My opponent on the other hand had fired starbolt after starbolt and forced me to throw up a shield as he flew up to me to smash my shield with sheer brute strength. The force he put behind that one punch made my head ring and my shield crumble; he didn't hesitation to bring me back down to the earth face first with him subduing me. At least he had tried to subdue me, tentacles of dark energy shot up all around our mini crater and wrapped around his limbs. He cried out in panic and used his eyes to try and free himself, but I managed to wobble back up on my feet to run and nail a genuine fly kick in his gut that would have smashed him back to the ground.

However, I wasn't finished with him, I had at the same time grabbed his wrist and swung him around to throw him across the plains, but as it turns out, X had done the same to his opponent and so the two Tameranian's slammed into one another. They stumbled away from each other with ringing ears, but X and I charged them both and with simultaneous axe-kicks we brought them both to the ground. X tossed me back my blaster and without hesitation I charged it, and fired execution style to the back of one of the Tameranian's head. The shot, if it were at a lethal charge would have killed him … but since that wasn't my aim, I simply knocked him unconscious. For how long? I don't know, but for now it would end a fight that should have never have been brought about to begin with.

I sighed heavily, but I didn't let my guard down just yet, not when I heard a scream of anguish echo throughout the empty plains. It was Blackfire, I looked all around in search for her, and only when I looked up into the sky did I see the barely-clad ex-princess struggling within Strongheart's single handed grasp around her small neck. He squeezed hard and her scream was silenced and replaced with a squeak of pain. I gritted my teeth when I saw his lips moving, but I could not make out what he was saying, not from where I was, so I crouched to launch myself in the air to help, but X held up his blaster and took aim.

I paused and shot him a bewildered look, "What do you think you're doing?"

He disregarded me, "Relax … I've done this before."

I glared warningly, "X …"

"I said relax," his entire body was completely still, relaxed, even his aura was calm and collected if not a little excited and pumping with energy after our fight. He tilted his head, kept both eyes open, and without hesitation he pulled the trigger and the laser sliced through the air and nailed Strongheart on the wrist that clutched at Blackfire's throat.

He cried out and Blackfire fell to the ground, I ran to catch her, but she regained consciousness and hovered over the ground just before she was seriously injured. She growled, her ferocity returned and she glared up at Strongheart as he snarled down at us, "This does not concern you humans! Stay out of it!"

X scowled and shouted back, "Shut up and get your ass down here so I can kick it!"

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to growl, "Are you crazy?"

He chuckled and shrugged, "What? It's not like he's actually going to do anything."

"What makes you think that?"

He pointed to the sky behind me, and I turned to notice about five Tameranian fighter-jets closing in, X said, "Because I don't think it's legal to kill people here on this planet either sunshine."

He was right, I looked up at Strongheart to watch him glare at the same ships we were staring at and then took off in the opposite direction while Blackfire gently touched the ground and rubbed her neck, "Well … this is bittersweet, apparently they've tracked your fuel signature. Clever."

Truly, this was bittersweet.

Here I was, stranded on a planet in a world I hardly understood with one known criminal and a thief who's identity was already in question where my leader was concerned. Could I look any guiltier than I already was? With another heavy sigh I prepared for contact when we were surrounded by the attack-ships and I thought dryly to myself, _Great … now how am I going to explain this one … _

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, don't own Tameran, DC owns all dat … I do own the name Toriand'r, and I do own Strongheart … yeah … the end …**

**A/N: YAY!! They're going to prison again!! Whoopie!! Yeah … right … um … yeah, this chapter, pretty straightforward so any questions or comments you know what to do and thanx for reading until next time!**

**L8er daez**


	9. Decisions, Decisions

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Decisions, Decisions**

"Well … this sucks …" X suddenly chimed within the dark silence of the Tameranian Palace dungeon that I knew was located deep underground since my first not-so-pleasant visit to this very hostile planet landed me here. Yet this time around I was trapped with X and Blackfire (who was now given more to wear beside the scientist cloak she dawned before her capture). I looked down at the thief who had thrown himself to the ground and laid on his back to stare up at the bright light which shone down on us and acted as the holding cell. With his hands clasped over his chest he tilted his head to look up at me, "This would be … what … the third time we've been placed under surveillance? Damn these alien planets don't fuck around do they …"

"You can't count Crisious Prime, that was all a rouse," I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest while I glared at the guards who patrolled the holding-cells, watched every criminal, and listened intently to every conversation. Specifically ours since our cell held the infamous Blackfire, back in black with her light-weight full-body armor on, one hand on her hip while the other inspected her nails to intensify the act of an aloof cat, as if this whole ordeal did not faze her in the least. I suppose it wouldn't, she too like X is a criminal, getting into trouble was like second nature to them, planning ways to get out was the thrill.

From the corner of her eye she caught my gaze and smirked, "Oh, you look upset … did you expect Galfore to come to your rescue?"

I sneered, "No, I'm just surprised he hasn't killed you yet."

"Ooo, someone's touché …"

On the ground X chuckled and nodded his head at Blackfire, "So you've noticed it too huh?"

They both shared a small laugh and I rolled my eyes while I turned my back on them to walk towards the edge of our cell trying to concentrate on being patient. Since our capture at an arena that happened to be one of many the Embarrassments had erected for their sick little sport. The aerial-guards had taken us to Lenphog'Dor, or the Tameranian Palace as I knew it and brought us before the Emperor. The Emperor still being Galfore the gentle-giant that had taken care of both Starfire and Blackfire as children, but upon seeing Blackfire he almost immediately had us thrown out of Tameran. However, upon seeing _me_ and remembering I was one of his favorite little bumgorf's friends he hesitated and instead had us locked down here for some time to think.

That had been three days ago and I was getting tired of standing and sitting on a cold hard floor with this annoying bright light that shone down on us relentlessly. Not to mention the food, bad enough what these Tamerans concerned edible was vomit-worthy, but prison food? Ugh … I don't think I can stomach it for much longer, I know X couldn't, the first day he ate his plate thinking that I was just over exaggerating he ended up hurling all over the floor because the nasty smell and taste overwhelmed his senses. Blackfire had got a kick out of that and couldn't stop laughing for what I assumed was 20 minutes, and I had to admit, even I cracked a smirk of amusement when X turned to glare at me and all I could say was: 'I toldja so.'

That moment had been the highlight of my entire three days of captivity with X and Blackfire … and speaking of Blackfire … I understood why X and I were locked away, but her?

That confused me.

Starfire had already outlawed Blackfire from Tameran and from what I can understand whatever she says goes so … why was the exiled-princess still here?

I figured it was because Galfore still had a soft-spot for little miss '_Queen of the Universe' _and so when he heard she had been kidnapped (by X and myself) to be slaughtered as a sacrificial lamb it stirred emotions within him. Cute, but pointless. Blackfire, no matter if it was wrong for someone to sacrifice anyone to anything deserved no mercy. I meant it when I told X she was a conniving, deceiving, backstabbing little bitch that would sooner gouge our eyes out than bend over to help a starving child. Just from reading her aura I knew she was a conceited person at heart … conceited and selfish.

Hmm … wait … isn't _X _pretty much similar to her at some extent?

Is that what he _really _meant when we were back on that ship?

When the laughter had died down to silence, I discreetly turned a quarter turn to stare at X through the corner of my eye. He was still on the ground, still staring at the bright light that set his amber eyes alight and gave it a glittery-golden effect. However, it wasn't how pretty his eyes were that caught my attention, it was his aura, I narrowed my eyes and locked in on his signature. I've done it before, I've read his aura in order to determine what type of person he was and I still remember coming to the conclusion that he was a selfish, conceited jerk that had it in his head that he knew everything.

He still had that same aura, he was still a jerk … so what was _really _his point back on that ship now that I figured everything he said was only to get a raise out of me, and believe me whatever he was planning worked. We made a little agreement I knew he would not forget the moment everything settled down and we were back on Earth and back on our normal routine. I wasn't anticipating it, nor was I anxious about it … I was numb, not that I didn't know what to feel, it was just that I didn't care.

He may go ahead and think it's all such a big deal, but to me, it really wasn't.

Because I knew, I _knew _for a without-a-doubt fact, that I didn't love him, ergo, anything intimate we shall experience will not mean anything to me. Call me cold, call me heartless, call me a liar, but I know what I know, and I know how I feel. So before X could look to see if I was staring at him I turned away and continued to glare at the guards behind our brightly-lit cage. Blackfire started to pace within the cell, but quietly; I felt her deep concentrate and couldn't help to wonder if she was thinking of a way to escape.

Knowing her, she'd probably had already scoped out which guard was which and pegged the weakest of the bunch. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the reason why X kept staring at the bright light was because he was trying to figure out if it was the main device which held the entire shield together. Observing them both now gave me the chance to see how the cat and mouse game was played the way the other half saw it and I have to say it was disturbing how casually calm they both were under hostile conditions.

I blinked and again focused on the guards when I sensed a bunch of them headed in our direction, Blackfire saw it too, and so did X despite how distracted they _appeared _they both suddenly stood at attention when a portion of the shield dropped. One of the guards entered and gestured to Blackfire, he spoke to her in Tameranian and she complied without question, held out her hand and had them strap the same restraining device Starfire was on when Robin discovered her. They then pulled her out of the cell and gestured for me next, I complied, but gritted my teeth when that same neck-strap was looped around my neck and my powers were once again suppressed.

X followed suit, but he merely had his hands cuffed behind his back, lucky.

We were then ushered out of the holding-cells back up to the surface world straight to the throne room. Emperor Galfore apparently made up his mind and was going to dish out his punishment, I merely stood in wait as the larger-than-life doors swung open and we were dragged towards the throne … but Galfore was not the only one standing there.

The Titans were present.

I shot a looked back at X who also noticed, but remained cool-headed if not a little uneasy, especially when Starfire shot into the air and zipped towards us to capture me in a tight, warm, and meaningful embrace, "Oh friend Raven! I am so glad you are safe, well, and undamaged! We, your friends have been stricken with the worries for you since your disappearance!"

She was smothering me, I couldn't breath, "Star … fi … er … can't … _breath!"_

"Oh!" She exclaimed and released me; I swayed on my feet for a bit as she clasped her hands in front of her and floated a foot off the ground. The same bright and happy-go-lucky smile on her face she always has beaming into my eyes and blinding me with how white her teeth were. I straightened up and fixed myself up while she blushed in embarrassment and quietly apologized, "Terribly sorry Raven, the mere sight of your wellness had made me forget that you do not enjoy physical contact much. Please forgive me."

I rolled my eyes, "Forget about it Starfire, what are you and the others doing here?"

As if the memory of the others suddenly hit her she perked up, "Oh, that's right, well Galfore, after imprisoning you had immediately contact me in hopes that I should help him make a decision based on you having brought my … sister …" she paused to glance warily at the emotionlessly-cold Blackfire who stared her sister down with such a dark look that it froze the room over with her black-ice. Starfire blinked away to smile at me and force her sunny-disposition back on her beautiful face, "back on Tameran."

"So … because I kidnapped her and brought her back I will be held accountable for my actions."

It was getting harder and harder for the sunny princess to hold her bright smile while she said, "Many believe that you and your … companion …" she gave X a questioning look when the memory of where she last saw him struck her. I could see the burning question she wanted to ask about him being with me in her eyes, but for the sake of staying on topic she refrained from asking and continued to fill me in on the technicalities while the other Titans approached, "Have to be punished accordingly for bringing Blackfire back … however, Galfore has taken into consideration that you both have been forced to commit a crime and should therefore be immune to punishment."

I put the pieces together, "But it's not that simple … is it?"

Starfire sighed heavily and floated back to the ground while she looked away from me and began to rub her right arm, "If Galfore does not comply with the people's choice he will be seen as weak and his actions seen as treasonous, more than likely there will be an uproar and many will come to challenge Galfore for the crown."

"Then let me serve my time, what's the punishment for bringing Blackfire back into Tameran?"

"Oh … Raven …" she looked down at me with her bright green eyes and told me the truth, "The punishment is Death."

Blackfire chuckled and Starfire shot her a defeated look while other's on my team, especially Robin and Cyborg, glared at her with such outrage they looked ready to throttle her when she said, "Oh, isn't this hilarious … I guess you should have given me to Strongheart after all," she looked at me with those conceited lavender eyes and condescendingly chuckled again, "You would have fought in the arena for the next twenty-four days, but at least then you would have a chance to live. Why, you could have even won your freedom … heh-heh."

Suddenly, Beast Boy, who was actually no longer a boy per-say snarled and cut in, "That isn't fair! Raven wouldn't do this on purpose! She was forced! Why does she have to die if all that's going to happen is Blackfire is going to be set loose again?!"

Terra placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and tried to sooth his beast within, I knew it was futile. No matter how loving or kind a gesture from her may be, it would take more than that to focus Beast Boy, "BB, come on, shouting isn't helping."

He was too mad for empty words of comfort to calm him down, I could feel it, the animal within him was enraged, he felt like tearing everything apart in anger the longer he stared at me and the guards around me. His breathing was becoming heavy and labored as the frustration built up and his canines sharpened, I frowned, _The idiot … _without shouting, but laced with warning and command I said, "Beast Boy … _don't."_

He stared at me with slightly hazed green eyes, but the longer I held his gaze the more he settled down until he huffed and diverted his eyes away from me to stare at the ground with nothing more than a pout. I don't know what it was about Beast Boy and me … we had a very strange relationship, even though he was with Terra and I could feel how much he loved her, he still looked to me for support and comfort. I was like a sister to him I suppose, but that wouldn't be the right word to describe it. It was akin to family, he cared strongly about me, but I just saw him as another close teammate.

I held my glare till I was sure he wouldn't do anything rash, and then blinked as looked up at Starfire. Might as well cut to the chase and rip the bandage off rather than peel at it, "Starfire, there has to be an ultimatum if you were brought here to help in the decisions."

She tightened her grip on her arm and refused to look at me, but instead stared intently at the ground much like Beast Boy was doing. I scowled; _As if the ground has answers … _I called to her attention, "Starfire!"

She blinked and looked down at me, but not even for a second could she hold my gaze and she look away again to stare helplessly up at Galfore. The gentle-giant sighed heavily and stepped up to make his presence known, "Please understand Earthling that this is a very difficult and delicate decision we must make with extra special precautions."

"Extra special precautions my ass …" I blinked and looked back at X along with everyone else when he finally spoke up to announce his existence. With his hands still cuffed behind his back he shrugged at everyone and nonchalantly said, "You're the government, you can do anything, lock Raven and I in prison for life then sneak us out the back door when no one is looking and zoom back to Earth. Set that chick over there free or whatever is the deal with her and no one gets hurt."

Galfore sneered and marched up to X, his size was nothing to joke about, but X never backed down when the giant emperor got in his face and snarled, "Do you dare impugn my honor by suggesting I lie to my people you little maggot?"

"Hey, it's not your life that's on the line here big-guy, only your title and that's something anyone in my position wouldn't give two shits and fuck about. So blow me."

Whether or not Galfore understood anything of what X had just said as being an insult was nothing compared to the honest shock and disbelief I shared with my friends and Blackfire at X's sheer bravery … or stupidity. Either which had us all waiting anxiously for Galfore's response, Starfire floated off the ground in preparation to stop whatever violent act would take place for she herself knew her _'nanny' _wasn't exactly the nicest of guys. That much can already be deduced with the scar on his face and all along the rest of his body. He's seen a lot, been through hell, and sacrificed so much throughout his life. He didn't have to stand here listening to X mouth-off or Beast Boy's plea for my life … he was doing this as a courtesy to his bumgorf, Starfire.

I wouldn't be surprised if she was the only reason why he hadn't slaughtered X on the spot for insulting him. A slow, agonizing, silent minute ticked by without a word from either X or Galfore, Starfire hovered to her caretaker and placed a tiny hand on his massive shoulder, she softly whispered his name, "Galfore … let us not be rash please."

Like magic, Galfore released the tension in his shoulders to sigh heavily once more as he turned to Starfire and cupped her chin in one of his massive hands, "I am terribly sorry for upsetting you my little bumgorf …"

Starfire smiled sweetly and hugged him, "Apologies are unnecessary."

They pulled away and Galfore took a deep breath, straightened up, and looked down at me, then shot an annoyed look at X who tilted his head and waited impatiently for the verdict I knew Galfore was about to give. He addressed the guards, "The human is right … release them."

Starfire gasped softly, "But, Galfore …"

He held up a hand to stop her, "Life is far more precious than a title … if anyone is to challenge me, than so be it, but I will be at peace knowing I have not sentence two innocent lives to Death."

I massaged my neck as the device fell off and my powers were once again free to circulate through out my veins. I stepped away from the guards to stare at X and watched as he massaged his wrists then looked around as if looking for a way out, but then ended up looking right at me … or was it pass me? I arched a brow in question, he ignored me, so I looked back at Blackfire to find her staring at him, I didn't have to look back at X to know they were actually staring at one another, I frowned, _What are they thinking …? _My eyes then shifted to Robin and because of his mask I did not know if he was looking at me, or at X. The air in the room despite how warm and loving it felt with Starfire and Galfore's bonding-moment had a dark, tense undertone with me trapped in the center of it all.

Something bad was about to happen, and not knowing what was driving me crazy.

I blinked, momentarily distracted when Cyborg placed a large metal yet gentle hand on my shoulder, I looked up at his smiling face as he winked and held a thumbs-up, "Good to have ya back girl."

"No kidding," Beast Boy chuckled with his usual goofy grin, but I could see the genuine relief in his eyes about me being set free, "but the next time you plan to go on an adventure by yourself think you can at _least _give us a little warning?"

I didn't respond to him or to Cyborg or to any of their show of affection, my attention was elsewhere, through the corner of my eyes I noticed X bravely approach us. He maneuvered around Cyborg and stood before me and held out his hand for a handshake, I stared at him long and hard as he smiled a smile that never reached his eyes, which meant he was acting, "Hey, um, thanks for keeping me alive the entire time we've been on this planet, I'll be the first to say that I truly appreciate what you Titans do for us average-folk."

I knew what he was doing, so as I raised my hand to play along, our stage was interrupted when Blackfire scoffed, "Average-folk is putting it lightly don't you think? I mean the _Embarrassments _only choose those of exceptional skills to kick off their barbaric tournament, picking a weak Earthling pretty much goes against their rules."

I glared at her while her lavender eyes stared spitefully at me for she knew what we were trying to do, but why she would instigate was another question altogether. I shrugged it off to be just another Blackfire moment, always having to get in the middle of _everything _and stir things up just because she can. I mean, X does the same thing, and since they were both pretty similar it came as no surprise to me she'd want to make my life a living hell because hers wasn't exactly a piece of cake. Childish, very childish.

However, lucky for us, X and I both knew how to cover our tracks well enough to be considered scary. X rubbed the back of his head and chuckled nervously, "Yeah … well … I know enough martial arts to show-off, but Raven actually knew how to fight and win."

It was then, with an arched brow, Cyborg chimed in, "Tournament? What tournament?"

I sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of my nose to keep a headache at bay, "Long story short, it's got something to do with the outlaws of this world verses the royal family."

"Yeah," X cut in to fill in the blanks, but he kept it short and simple, "that's why we had to kidnap, um … uh …" he paused to pretend to search for Blackfire's name in his memory bank by snapping his fingers at me for a little help, "What's her name again?"

"Blackfire." I responded drily.

He went on, "Blackfire! Right, well that's why we had to kidnap Blackfire and bring her back here; the outlaw's leader forced us to do it as well as forced us to fight others to the death."

Galfore stepped in, "Did you happen to catch this leader's name?"

X blinked up at him, then glanced at me for help again, I again answered drily, "Strongheart … his name was Strongheart."

Galfore scoffed, "Oh that's not the leader … that's just his pesky little boy."

X again chuckled nervously, "Pesky wouldn't exactly be the word I'd describe that bastard as."

Starfire nodded in agreement, "The Kuriphim'gar are not the most pleasant group of individuals to be around, but they are most certainly not one to be trifled with either. I have lost many a family member to their cruelty."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Please, no apologies are necessary; events of the past do not matter with events of the future." Her bright, beautiful smile returned once again while she clasped her hands in front of her and over her heart, she levitated in the air and hovered near X, "I am most pleased to know that you are undamaged and hope that you do not harbor ill-feelings towards my home planet for I assure you there are much more to see in sites!"

X arched a confused brow, "Uh … I think you mean: _sites to see."_

She giggled, "Yes! Exactly!"

He returned her smile with a handsome one of his own, but now bored with all the fake fuzzies going around I turned away from the scene to notice Blackfire was being taken away, probably back to her holding-cell. I couldn't help to frown when I saw her glance back and for a moment my heart connected with hers and my empathetic powers helped me feel a twinge of loneliness and sadness hidden deep within her black heart. A heart that quickly closed up when she noticed my staring and she in turn sneered at me with that familiar condescending scowl on her beautiful face.

She jerked her head to the side in order to help flip her dark purple-tinted hair over her shoulder to cascade down her back and that would be the last I would see of Blackfire the exiled-princess with a bad-attitude front.

"You know martial arts?" I swung my head back around to the group when I heard Robin speak up, the question obviously directed at X.

X in turn answered with a small shrug, "Yeah, a little of this, a little of that, just enough to show off like I said, I wouldn't know how to put it to good use, sad to say."

Robin arched a brow, "From what I gather these … um …"

Starfire helped, "Kuriphim'gar."

"Yeah … those guys aren't exactly pushovers; you must have known quite a bit to stay alive."

X chuckled modestly, but I can see his arrogance shining through as bright as a thousand-suns when he looked at me and said, "I knew enough … it was your friend that continuously saved my neck. She even knew how to pilot one of these alien ships! She was amazing!"

I sneered, _Laying it on a little thick X … _Robin looked to me for confirmation and I twirled my finger in the air while saying monotonously, "Go me."

Robin stared at me for a little bit, before he turned to X and nodded, "Well, whether Raven saved you or not I'd like for you to show us what you got, you might actually have some real talent in you."

"Flattered, but I gotta tell ya man, I'm not exactly looking for a new job, I mean it was fun while it lasted but on a daily basis? No thanks, not for me." X again chuckled modestly as he rubbed the back of his head and again glanced around the palace, "So … when are we leaving?"

The magic words that set everything into motion, Starfire said goodbye to her nanny, and Robin lead the way back to the T-ship and on the way Cyborg, Beast Boy, Terra, and Starfire all began to ask X all kinds of questions, including his name. He told them it was some fake name like Dodger Drayton and he became fast friends with the four of them chatting up a storm as if he hadn't have gone through such a life-changing ordeal. Surviving on alien terrain wasn't exactly an event in one's life – unless they were a certified Titan – that any _normal _human-being would easily forget. I found it strange that X can take it all in stride without freaking out in the end, after all, he may be the world's slickest thief next to Catwoman (but that's just me being nice to compare to someone as conniving as her), but that was only on Earth.

I finally just chalked it up to be X's cocky personality shielding him from the shell-shock that'll come to him when he finally gets a good nights rest. I, myself felt eerily calm despite how close and friendly my most dangerous secret was being with the rest of my friends. Flirting with the razor's edge had never held a truer and literal meaning than now when X gave equal attention to both the smitten Terra and Starfire who found him _oh-so_ charming. Neither Beast Boy nor Robin (much to my honest surprise) seemed to notice X was flirting with them, giving them that nice-guy routine no good-girl could resist.

It was interesting to watch, but embarrassing to know that Terra and Starfire could be easily swayed by a nice smile and fake modesty. In a way, X just basically proved everything that I've figured these girls to be, idealist and romantic, rejecting if not totally denying all of reality. It made me sigh tiredly and earn me Cyborg's attention; he had been walking beside me on the way to the T-ship and suddenly spoke up, "You look like you haven't slept in weeks."

I scoffed, "You try sleeping at all when you've spent most of your off-world visits in confinement. It's not fun, nor funny."

He smacked a hand to my back with enough force to push me forward, but since I've become accustom to his metallic body and brotherly affection since the beginning of our team. I wasn't complaining, especially when he smiled at me and winked, "Cheer up girl, we'll be back home in no time, then you can sleep all you want."

"I can hardly contain my joy."

He chuckled at my dry sarcasm and walked up ahead of me to be the first to start up the newly revamped T-ship with the same orange and black colors (I'll never in all my years understand why it had to be orange and black while our tower was yellow and black). The revamp was necessary when it had become clear Terra was here to stay and our off-world assignments had become quite frequent since Earth had been venturing further into space. Needless to say the term _'illegal-alien' _just earned itself a whole new meaning since intergalactic crimes have been on the rise … I was only slightly surprised X hadn't yet jumped on the bandwagon.

However, after this ordeal I'm pretty sure he would be looking into it.

Career criminals never pass up new opportunities to piss the government off.

The thief had been loaded into the ship in the passenger cargo-haul while I levitated up to my position flanking the left wing to take control of the defensive systems. X may have thought I had considerable piloting-skills (however I think he was bullshitting that whole speech), but in all honesty that was Robin and Cyborg's specialty. I was just a fast learner. _I _was the one who knew enough to get by, improvising was my _specialty_. And apparently I was so good at it I actually got X and I out of Tameran alive … but then again, that could also be credited to pure, sheer, utter dumb luck.

X believed in luck, he'd take that idea to heart.

I didn't believe in luck, I hardly believe in anything … so I don't take anything to heart.

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, don't won the Tameran or the Tameranians, Toriand'r is my name given to Blackfire even though her name is different, but this is my story so :P, Strongheart is mine also and besides that that's it! Everything else DC owns …**

**A/N: Again, straightforward, the next chapter will be far more interesting though, so until then …**

**L8er daez!**


	10. All or Nothing

**Long Road to Ruin**

**All or Nothing**

It took my friends three Tameranian days to get to Tameran which is four Earthen days to get to Earth. So by the time we finally arrived it was dark, and the full-moon shone down over the brightly lit Jump City and our giant T-shaped Tower blindingly glowing in the dark of the night lit our way home. From then it didn't take us long to land and wait to park the T-ship in the subbasement where we finally off-boarded and discovered that somewhere along the trip X had conked out. Starfire almost immediately went into panic mode and nearly freaked-out falsely thinking that something bad had happened, when really all he did was fall asleep, _dead _asleep.

It took Beast Boy screaming into his ear for him to wake up with a jolt, yet that jolt earned Beast Boy a good kick in the face when the shock of not knowing where he was jumpstarted his adrenaline and he was on full alert. It took his brain a couple of seconds to catch up with his body's reaction time and he finally recognized the people around him, but he only seemed to catch his breath when he saw me. He then shook his head and grunted then lolled it back against his seat, "Ah … shit …" he sighed tiredly and then sat back up and looked down at Beast Boy with a cringe when he saw the red mark on his lower jaw and the bewildered look on his face, "Oh shit, I'm so sorry man."

Beast Boy picked himself off the floor and shook his head while he rubbed his jaw and chuckled, "Nah, it's okay dude, I should have known better … but hey, at least we know you got fast reflexes."

"You always got a joke for everything?"

"Always dude."

X arched a brow at the response, but otherwise let it be as he sighed heavily and picked himself up off the seat and wobbly stood on his feet, Starfire was at his side a hand on his shoulder her bright green eyes staring at him worriedly, "Are you injured? Do you require medical attention?"

X smiled and chuckled handsomely, "I'll be fine, really, I'm just … just really tired is all."

"You and everybody else," I spoke up, he shot me a curious look and I all but ignored him as I turned my back on the group to head for my room, "I'll be in my room and unless the world is coming to an end right this second, no one disturb me."

I didn't bother to walk, I didn't even bother to look back and make sure X would be okay surrounded by a bunch of Titans. I knew he'd be okay; he's survived for this long by himself I'm sure he can get through one night's worth of bullshitting without blowing his or my cover, I don't think he's that stupid. So I phased into my dark, freezing-cold, uninviting room that was all my own, my sanctuary, my place of peace, and the one last place I called home besides Azarath.

I sighed heavily as I unbuckled the belt that held the dark-blue cloak I was still wearing together and let it slip to the floor as I headed for my private bathroom. I needed this shower _sooo bad, _and I wasted no time in getting the hot water ready just before I stepped in and let the heat wash over me like a flood of comfort that soothed my muscle pains and body aches away. All in all, it felt really, _really _good to finally feel soap-suds clean the filth off of my body and the familiar scent of my shampoo and condition lathered into my oily-built-up hair.

Yes, despite the fact I have an extreme distaste for most feminine care products and I may rebel against the ideal look of what a woman should be in America I was still a girl and I cannot deny that fact. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a raging radical-feminist who thinks all men are pigs. No, being a girl is just one of the many list of things I hate about myself because of all the immediate stigmas that follow after being reminded of one's gender. _'Fairer-sex' _my ass, whatever person made that stupid term up should be shot in the head and thrown over a cliff, honestly, just because I _look _weak does not always mean I am.

And anyone who knows me well enough knows I can take care of myself very well thank you very much.

I sucked in another deep breath when I turned the hot water off and slowly, lethargically started to dry myself off and trudge almost in a zombie-like manner to my dresser for some clothes to wear. I didn't even bother to check if anything matched, all I knew was I slipped on a shirt, a comfortable pair of shorts, and just as I levitated off the ground to gently float onto my large silky-smooth bed, my damn door knocked. Well, the person on the other side knocked on the door, but the point is someone was disturbing me after I had just made it painstakingly clear I didn't want _any _disturbances whatsoever.

I scowled at my door and waited for the person to go away.

Three minutes passed and they didn't, instead the knock returned, but this time more urgently.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

_If it's X, I'll kill him myself, _I snarled in my head as I floated across my room and slammed the palm of my hand on the manual control panel which slid the door all the way open and revealed – not to my surprise – X. Only, before I could chew him out for bothering me, I noticed he was not only wearing _Robin's _clothes … but he was wet … his hair was dripping wet at least. I couldn't help it, I stated the obvious with a sneer, "You're wet."

He responded in kind with a dry shrug, "You're not, now let me in."

The urge to slam my door in his face overcame me and I nearly did, but reason stopped me and as I moved out of the way to allow him entrance I said, "Rude much."

"Eh, you know me."

"Not as much as I'd like to," I finally slid my door shut and leaned on it with an arched brow as I crossed my arms over my chest trying to figure out why he wanted to see me. He wasn't eager, nor was he aroused (I still remembered our conversation prior to Blackfire's reentry into Tameran), he seemed to be calm, cool, collected and very sure about something.

With my eyes still narrowed on him he quit glancing around my room to stare at me and scoff, "Quit trying to read my aura, it's getting annoying."

My sneer darkened, "Well you're not getting to the point fast enough … and where are the others, I thought –"

"Sleeping, their biological clocks were ticking and so after General No-Fun showed me to a spare room where I could crash for the night he marched off to Dream Land."

"Alright … so what do you want?"

"To talk," His amber eyes locked on me and held me in their intense gaze, I would say it made me feel like I was interacting with Robin, but I knew how X felt about being compared to him so I kept my mouth shut and let him take the lead. Not every day do X and I have a serious one-on-one, but I knew whatever he had to say would be nothing less than interesting, he started with a simple, "You're right."

I blinked and egged him on, "About …?"

"We know enough about one another to destroy each other …" he paused after he quoted me on the discussion we had before getting abducted by aliens, it actually caught me off guard, I didn't think he'd remember it. I barely remembered it even now, yet he stood there, in the middle of my room with a thoughtful, yet slightly frustrated look on his face while he ran his fingers through his wet and tangled hair. He then had that _screw-it_ look come over his face as he huffed in exasperation and looked to me, almost pleading for me to understand him, "… you have no idea how much I want to make you worth my while."

I titled my head and arched a brow while the corner of my lip turned up ever so slightly in a hidden smirk of amusement that I knew he could see, _Blunt, rude, and nasty … typical … _I thought without flinching in disgust. Even X cracked a sadistic smile when he actually thought about the words he used and then shook his head to make sure he stayed on track, that was another thing that impressed me about X, he had a good recovery rate, "But anyway … in saying that, I know you'll understand when I tell you we can't go through with it …"

I blinked slowly, but stayed leaning on my door while I asked in an emotionless, leveled, monotonous voice, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

He hissed and shrugged, "Eehh … not so much as a change of heart as a change of mind, a friend of mine I was with, we pretty much struck up the same agreement, but then things got a little too sticky for my tastes," he smirked at the innuendo, and I rolled my eyes, "she got it in her head that we were in love … do _not _ask me why, because I don't know. The point is our situation is bad enough as it is, we do anything to off-set this tight-rope act we're performing, we'll both be in for more trouble than it's worth."

Again, I titled my head, but this time to the other side, "Wow … you've outdone yourself, you've actually given me a rational argument complete with facts, examples, and warnings, bravo." I mockingly clapped my hands slowly as I pushed of my door and approached him, "I'd give you a kiss, but then that'll be overstepping the boundaries wouldn't it?"

He smirked and shrugged, "A kiss is a kiss, it doesn't mean anything in my book."

I shook my head, "A kiss is foreplay depending on how it's done."

He snorted his smirk growing to his trademark smug grin, "We can sit here all night debating on what's foreplay or not, but I'll just leave that to your imagination …" He watched me saunter pass him towards my bed, and no I was not giving him ideas (although I don't think I need to assist him in whatever ideas he was cooking up in that twisted little head of his) I was getting ready to sleep. Yet, as I pulled my blanket down to slide into the comfort of my bed, X spoke up, but his tone was sullen, and his grin completely gone from his face when I looked up to give him my attention, "Rae … we should also stop seeing each other altogether."

I froze while something inside me screamed in horror as I narrowed my eyes and shot him a questioning glare, "Why?"

He sucked in a deep breath and sighed heavily, "Because you know we can't keep this up, not with how close your friends are sniffing and Robin is sniffing too close. Better just to end it now, than to end it violently later on …"

I don't believe this … every word … almost every word that came out of his mouth was something I had thought of before the Tameran-fiasco, as a matter of fact that's exactly what I was thinking we should have done the moment X landed in the Titan Med-Bay. So why did I feel like I was losing him … why did I feel like I was betrayed again? Simple, I've become selfish, X, whether he knew it or not had become an essential part of my being. I needed him to help myself get through the months without going completely insane when this mundane heroism business began tearing me apart.

I knew it was my duty, my fate, and my obligation to defend the innocent people of this world, but the things I've seen … the mental challenges I've faced. They had somehow found a hole in my frozen exterior and began eating away at my soul like a cancer. I was drowning in black and white … I needed color … I needed obscurity … I can't live like Robin does. I can't find solace in order … I needed chaos … I needed to know there was more than just stopping the bad-guy.

I needed a lot of things, but to full fill most of those needs I had to have X with me.

He was making me feel desperate; like I had to run across my room to grab a hold of him to be sure he wasn't just a dream all this time. I don't think I can do so well in reality if everything we've been through, and everything we've said was nothing but a figment of my imagination. That thought in and of itself was scary, and I clutched my sheets to get a grip of myself and get myself back together. Now wasn't the time to be pathetic! Sure, I told myself I had enough time to be pathetic when I got back to Earth, but not when losing X was now on the line.

The question in my mind that would not leave me was: _Why?_ Why now was he being so cautious … as far as I've known Red X the criminal, he had _never _been cautious. He had Robin beat when it came to being reckless, especially when he was after something more valuable than most people's lives. I blinked, _Wait a minute … _I trailed as a sudden thought hit me after Robin's name chimed in my head and I nearly slapped myself for panicking!

My narrowed eyes turned into a dark look of irritation, "You're not doing this for the benefit of the whole …" I scowled when he straightened up and I saw it in this posture, he knew he was busted, "… You're doing this for _yourself._ You're scared of being caught."

He frowned and matched my look of irritation with one of his own, "Yeah, so, it's not a crime to protect one's self."

"But you were lying about it," I challenged as I let go of my sheets and took a step closer to him, "Now why bother lie about it when you could have just told me straight to my face?"

"Does it even matter anymore? The facts are facts, you know I'm right."

"I don't care about the facts; I want to know why you bothered to lie …?" I was now only two steps way from getting in his face when I felt his aura fluctuate, shift, change and flashed an emotion he was hiding. It actually shocked me for a second to realize so late in this game that he knew how to mask his emotions from my aura readings! I began to second guess everything I've ever thought about him when Blackfire suddenly popped into my head, was it possible that everything about him was all a front? My eyes narrowed again and I closed the gape between us, but he stepped back to keep the distance and so I demanded, "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing!" He snapped back with fiery amber eyes that sparked with fury when I started to push on a subject he obviously did not want me knowing about. I opened my mouth to protest and to try and squeeze the information from him, but he shook his head and stomped to my door to make his hasty retreat while muttering, "Screw it. I should have never said anything."

I didn't stop him.

Didn't try to … I was still a little too dumbfounded and confused on all different levels to chase him down and force more answers out of him when I didn't even know the proper questions to ask. I growled and then threw myself face first on my bed, with my head buried in one of my pillows I huffed and turned on my side so I was glaring out my window to the bright city, cursing it while my mind raced unable to catch _any _sleep because of X. I couldn't stop thinking if I tried … I couldn't stop wondering … pondering … guessing … assuming everything and anything, nothing and some things.

Like I said, I didn't get any sleep that night.

And I blame him for it.

--

The next morning came with an interesting surprise …

When I went down to join my friends and X for breakfast, mentally prepared for the day and whatnot I came to discover that X was not with the rest of the group who all gathered around the breakfast table eating their desired meals. Beast Boy and his tofu, Terra sharing whatever disgusting concoction Starfire brewed in her pot, Robin and his well balanced meal, Cyborg and his proteins, but X was not anywhere else in the Ops Room. I decided not to say anything until I gathered my herbal tea and someone else addressed my presence, which just so happened to be Terra, "Mornin' Raven, you look … better than yesterday."

"Meditation, and herbal tea," was all I said as I set my kettle of water on the gas-stove, then turned around, leaned on the counter and asked with an arched brow, "Where's Drayton?"

Robin answered that while he brought his coffee to his lips for a sip, "Cyborg dropped him home earlier."

_He left … _I blinked at the realization that he didn't just leave the Tower, he left me behind … and I didn't get it till now that everything he said last night was an attempt to say goodbye. Whether or not I wanted him to go, it didn't matter. He planned to leave me even without consulting me … so why bother to consult me to begin with? I didn't know if I was mad, sad, or hurt … all I knew was the fact that I was annoyed. Ever since we were abducted he's been confusing the hell out of me, I really don't get what his problem was, it didn't make sense why he would want to stop seeing me.

In a matter of a few seconds all this raced in my head, but I managed to keep a clear expression to say and shrug, "Good for him."

Robin chuckled, "Don't celebrate just yet; I made sure he'd be back later tonight to showcase his skills."

I frowned, "You're actually considering making him a part of the team?"

"Not really, I'm just curious … unless you have something to add about him, was he any good on the field?"

Oh, Smart-One was putting me on the spot and I saw it coming a mile away, I knew he suspected something else was brewing beneath the surface and he needed to see X and I interact with each other in order to understand our relationship. As a matter of fact, I felt like I had been set up … I never asked where X's room was located, but if he knew where _my _room was that meant Robin must have walked passed my room to get to his. Meaning Robin was expecting X to come to my room and again I felt panic rise when I realized I never checked my room for bugs … the Titans may all be friends, but trust was still an issue between Robin and myself.

We didn't trust easily to begin with, and we were finding it harder and harder to trust in each other recently.

Who's to say Robin didn't bug my room?

As a matter of fact, with how sketchy things have been, I wouldn't put it passed him.

I sucked in a deep breath and pretended to think over Robin's question, then I tipped my head to the side and shrugged, "He was good enough to not be a nuisance."

"So he can hold his own?"

"I suppose."

With that, Robin dropped the subject and life went on, I made my tea and locked myself up in my room for the rest of the day like I usually did. Within my room I sat on my chair in front of my dresser and set my mug down, the smoky steam emanating from the cup reflected off the large mirror surface beside my face. I stared at my reflection for a bit then sighed heavily and reached for the book I had been reading before I was abducted by aliens, I turned to the page I was on last and distracted myself from a world that would not leave me alone. Before I knew it the Titan alert siren went off and we were all summoned to take care of an out of control joyride courtesy of the idiotic Johnny Rancid.

After that, a bank robbery performance starring the Amazing Mumbo, following Kitten and Fang's not-so-romantic jewelry heist ending in Kitten and Fang fighting _each other. _So it became a domestic dispute that was even more annoying to deal with than Gizmo's arcade-fit when the irritant went on a rampage simply because the machine cheated him two tokens. Needless to say I was beginning to long for a prison cell thousands of light-years away forced to eat weird foods that could more or less devour _me _from the inside out. It was basically a three-ring circus with the same act done over and over and over again with no end and no change.

Yet I committed to each and every act with no complaint, only silently, deep within did I feel myself screaming at the top of my lungs, begging myself for a change that I knew would never come. I needed chaos … I did not sit well with routine … I needed something different … I needed … X. I was selfish, I needed him just to have him, to make my life a little more colorful than it had been for the pass years, he helped me keep the balance of good and evil within me, but I knew it would never last.

Despite the fact I knew he was coming back later tonight, I knew the relationship we established had been severed. Now, he was just being the risky-criminal I, as a Titan, knew he was, by coming over and showing off his skills to the other Titans. Specifically to Robin, I knew he would want to challenge Robin just to show him up and beat him down in front of his team; he was a jerk like that. He needed to prove he was better than everyone, he needed to win every game, and if he had to cheat to do so, than he would.

Morals, honor, ethics … none of that existed in his dictionary, neither did compromise.

All or nothing …

_All … or nothing … _I thought about this as I sat on my bed staring out the window to Jump City, and then switched my focus to the faint reflection of myself. The sun had finally gone down … X would be coming back to the Tower soon enough as Dodger Drayton, and I neither anticipated it or felt anxious about it. I just kept thinking … _All … or nothing … _if X has this mentality … if he lives by this rule … if he is the kind of person that did not believe in compromise, than why did _he _initiate the idea of severing all ties with me?

That was a compromise … he actually _thought _about good and bad with the explanation he gave me.

He took the idea of his position as an acquaintance with an enemy … and hesitated.

He was being … _cautious._

X was _NEVER _cautions …

Just then the intercom went off and Robin's voice boomed into my room, _"Raven, report to the Gym, Drayton's finally here."_

I blinked slowly and took my time getting ready to present myself to my team and _'Drayton' _with my eyes narrowed and my mind focused on that one revelation I clipped on my deep blue cape held together by my emblem. I was still in my uniform, the same old leotard with the same old colors only I had the turtleneck portion removed so it was now off my shoulders, but it was still long sleeved. I had gotten rid of my blue cuff-links and so the sleeves were now hooked around my middle-fingers with my emblem sown onto the back of my palms. My ankle boots I swapped out so now I slipped on my new thigh-high boots that were a more comfortable skin-tight fit and then I pulled the hood of my cape up, ready for a show.

I stepped out of my room and again I took my time getting to the gym, still pondering about X's cautious approach, _Something has got him spooked … _that's the only conclusion I could reach. Something about me spooked him … or was it me at all? Was it just the fact that I was a Titan? Or was it something outside of our little circle … was there an external force repelling him from me? I chewed on my lower lip as the doors to the Gymnasium slid open and I was presented with the smiling faces of all five Titans plus X. As a courtesy to the group I flew to join in and then drawled on monotonously, "Let's get this over with."

X chuckled and shot me a two finger salute, "Nice to see you too."

I narrowed my eyes, but lucky for me the shadow of my hood hid the suspicious glare I pinned X with, "Nice, wouldn't be the exact word I'd use to describe how I'm feeling right now."

"Heh, right," X responded without skipping a beat and turned to Robin with a shrug, "So, uh, how do I do this? Do I just show you my forms or … what?"

"How about a spar?" Robin suggested with a smirk and I watched as X's eyes twinkled dangerous, I couldn't help to roll my eyes and think, _Figures._ In boredom I stayed in the back of the group and waited for X to make friends with Robin, but Robin didn't give him the chance, "You verses Raven, you two have already been together long enough to learn one another's moves, so this should be easy."

I blinked and arched a brow, "Wait, you want _me, _a magic-dominated fighter to challenge _him?"_

Robin looked at me and smiled the most sincerest smile that made me want to punch him in the mouth, "Yeah … but you're _not _to use your powers … is that alright with you?"

_Goddamn it … _there were the times where I seriously_ hate _Robin with a passion.

He knew how to pick me apart, and the only reason he knew how to pick me apart was because he knew me better than the other Titans. He knew that if I ever refused something it wouldn't be because I was a complainer like Beast Boy, or confused about concepts like Starfire, nor was I hesitant like Terra, or pouty like Cyborg. When I refused something there was always a legitimate reason behind it, otherwise I'd comply without question … like a good toy-soldier.

I gritted my teeth and as calmly and emotionlessly as I could muster I complied, "Whatever."

Robin nodded, "Alright, then it's settled, call it Drayton hand-to-hand or weapons?"

X chuckled when he looked at me and tilted his head, "Well, I've seen how she works the staff and it's very impressive actually."

Beast Boy, Terra, and Cyborg all broke out in coughs or discreet snickers trying to keep their amusement at X's smart little compliment while he kept a straight honest face. I shot my team a dark look, "Har, har …" I then glared at X as I jerked my head to throw my hood back and crossed my arms over my chest, "Hand-to-hand or weapons, I don't have all night."

"Okay, okay, calm down, what's the matter can't take a joke?"

"…" I shot him a dark look.

His smile never faltered as he nodded to Robin, "Um, why don't you choose for us, I'm good either way man, honestly."

I scoffed silently to myself as I walked passed him, but close enough to him so when I whispered he heard it loud and clear, "Honesty was never one of your better qualities."

I didn't bother to look back as I took my position on the wide open gymnasium and with my power I picked up the place-mats, folded them up, and neatly propped them against the mirrored-wall. I then sucked in a deep breath, closed my eyes, bowed my head, and mentally prepped for the coming challenge while still listening to Robin laying down the rules, "Okay, here's how we're gonna do this. You'll do hand-to-hand first – full contact – and whoever gets pinned two-out-of-three times ends the match, and then we'll see where we go from there. Sound good?"

X faked anxiety, "I guess … but … she has powers, I don't know –"

"Don't worry, she'll be forgoing her powers this time, and we'll be standing-by in case of any serious injuries."

"Serious injuries … right …"

Beast Boy perked up, "Chill dude, you fought against Tameranians! Fighting Raven will be a piece of cake!"

I kept my face from sneering when I thought in annoyance, _Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence Beast Boy._

I slowly cracked my eyes open when I felt X's aura focus solely on me, he stared me down, and I mean with no smile, no smirk, no smug grin, he gave me one helluva stare-down that would have given Robin a run for his money. This was just before he slid his legs slowly apart, shoulder length and then jerked his arms into position and locked his entire body so it looked like he was an unmovable stone. I arched a brow, then looked to Robin as he ushered the rest of the Titans back and away to give us some much needed room. He turned to face us with a deep breath and then nodded at me in confirmation for what I was silently asking.

With that confirmation, I bit down on my tongue, took up my position and tried to remain clear headed, objective, and in control while Robin counted down our fight. Yet, I still couldn't stop myself from feeling that this was all going to end so badly the _ending in violence_ part of the equation X and I tried to avoid seemed to be the only variable Robin was forcing upon us. I just had this gloom-and-doom feeling that as soon as Robin hit one on his count down and gave us the green light things were going to get so much more complicated. A complication that could be easily avoided if I could just hide in my room and forget about X altogether, it would be hard … but I could do it if I had no other choice.

I didn't want to hate him.

I didn't want him to hate me.

But Robin left him no choice.

And I never have choices to make.

"… two … ONE! Fight!" Robin screamed, five seconds passed without movement, and then X rushed in without warning or sign of his planned moves, which was odd, because he always had a plan. Which also meant this was the plan. He wildly came at me with smooth, clean hits that I easily dodged and with one round-house kick sent him spiraling to the ground. With an unceremonious _thud _that made him grunt in pain he laid there for a moment and massaged his jaw where my heel made the connection. I stood perfectly still as I watched him pick himself back up and chuckle, "Ouch … that hurt, you hit harder than you look."

Terra on the sidelines giggled, "Not everything is as they seem Dodger!"

'_Dodger', _finally on his feet spared a glance her way and chuckled in response, "Heh, now I know what that truly – _whoa!"_ He suddenly exclaimed when I came at him hard and fast with kicks to his mid, chest, and with a jump-spin kick I nailed the side of his head and again dropped him to the ground.

Only this time I didn't allow him back up, I stomped my foot on his chest, and he wheezed in pain when I applied pressure and bent over to say, "Maybe you don't know enough about me as Robin first suspected …"

His pain filled amber eyes connected with my ice-cold violet orbs and he saw the hidden message beneath the façade, he blinked as if he wasn't sure he saw right, then cringed when I pressed down to emphasis my point and then pushed off altogether. I walked away with my back purposely to him, listening as he struggled back on his feet, and sucked in deep breaths through gritted teeth. Just as I was getting back into position I heard his heavy footsteps charge me, but I knew he was still acting, so when he threw two punches to the back of my head I dodged both then spun around with another kick to his mid-section.

However, he pivoted on his right and side-stepped me, he then ducked down and swiped my leg from under me, I went down, but took the blunt of my fall on my right wrist which I then used to push off of and flip to land in a crouch a good distance from him. I may not be as skilled as he or Robin, but I was nimble enough to run circles around them. Still crouched low to the ground, he approached me, but this time he had a plan and I was in trouble. I went on the defensive and began to do everything in my power to stay away from him, but he managed to grab my arm when I tried to spin away from him.

He twisted it, I hissed in pain and he dragged me back around, then shoved me to the ground face first, my arm still twisted so tightly that if he were to apply the right amount of pressure he'd snap it like a twig. I gasped and tried not to squirm as he leaned forward and through gritted teeth, growled, "Not. Here." Then aloud so the rest of my team heard it said, "Not bad for a civilian huh?"

My team cheered, well, Beast Boy did anyway, "Yah! Go Dodger!"

'_Dodger' _grinned and let me up, but was careful to watch for any sudden movements as I rolled on my back. I glared at him, but then noticed my right leg was in between his feet and I got an idea, I mustered as much strength as I could and kicked my right leg up which forced him to fall on top of me. However, I knew he would correct the problem and instead he rolled over my head, so when he was back on his feet I was back on mine.

We faced off, then at the same time charged one another I swiped at him with a clean diagonal-kick, but he leapt over me. He used my head as leverage and grabbed the hood of my cape so when he landed he had a firm grip of me and flipped me over his shoulder to ruthlessly throw me to the ground. I grunted, but rolled back onto my feet when he rushed me with a downward punch. I blocked it, but the momentum of the punch dropped me back to the ground, so now I was scrambling to get back on my feet while watching out for all his low blows.

Just when I managed to stand up, I saw him coming in for a mid-kick, I braced and blocked for it, but he faked me out and spun around to punch my jaw in an upper-cut then finished me off with a mid-high kick to my chest that threw me across the gym. That, I'm sorry to say, had knocked me clean out of commission earning him the win in the hand-to-hand match. Cyborg and Beast Boy went nuts, Starfire and Terra cringed and gasped in horror as I rolled to my side and held my jaw trying to determine if anything was broken. All the while X did a little victory dance.

Robin was the only referee in this little match and knelt by my side, with a hand on my shoulder he asked, "You alright?"

I nodded and wheezed, "Yeah … but I guess he won right."

He smiled at the dryness of my response while he helped me back on my feet, but nodded, "You up for the weapons round?"

I looked up at him, still grasping his arms to help me stay on my feet I sucked in a deep breath and just as I opened my mouth to respond X had come over with his cold unrealistic smile and held out his hand for me to shake, "Hey, hope I didn't hurt you too bad, nothing personal, still friends?"

I didn't take it, I kept my face passive and my tone completely emotionless in response, "I'll be fine, and we were never friends."

He blinked and stared at me for a moment, fringing awkwardness while he rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously, "Oh … alright then … um … are we still going for the weapons round?"

I didn't give Robin the chance to say anything for I pulled away from him, straightened up my cloak and pulled my hood back over my head, "I don't think so, I think he's proven his point … now if you don't mind I'm leaving the circus, have a good night."

I knew Robin arched a brow at the 'circus' bit, and I could feel X's aura cling to mine in inquiry. He may stick around with the Titans for a bit longer, or he may not, I don't know and I don't frankly care anymore … I can't hold a straight face around him any longer. I can't hold my emotions together while interacting with him, I was still annoyed at the fact he left without saying goodbye, I was confused about his reasons for leaving, and now I was pissed-off. Not because he won the match, but because he was still so much of an ass when it came to protecting himself!

I don't get him anymore!

And I'm getting sick of trying to figure him out!

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, never did, never will, but DC always will and always has … sadness …**

**A/N: Ooo-weee!! There is a lot to digest in this chappie, seems as if the one road Rae's been trying to avoid has come to pass … oh well, can't have everything you want right? I'm also sorry if I made it seem as if Robin's the "evil-dude" in the story, but hell if I'm going to be true to his character he's gotta be suspicious of something. He doesn't strike me as the type to write anything off as coincidence, and either is he a dang fool. Lol, but that's my opinion, feel free to tell me what'cha think, whether you like it or don't like it is cool with me either way.**

**L8er daez!!**


	11. Pieces

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Pieces**

"Ugh! That miserable! Conning! Selfish! Conceited! Lying! Cheating! Son of a _bitch!"_ I snarled through gritted teeth while I stormed down my hallway and back into my room where I ripped off my cape and threw it to the ground. The small little trinkets propped on the shelf over my bed began to rattle while I continued to rip off my uniform to slip into comfortable sweat-jacket and pants. I didn't care if it matched or not, I just needed to get out of my uniform and ultimately get out of the Tower where all the causes of my insanity were currently bunched together like little oblivious coconuts all standing neatly in a row downstairs.

I hated them!

I hated them all!

I needed to go somewhere far, _far _away!

I can't take it anymore!

I wanted to scream so badly and to let my powers lash out to destroy everything around me, I needed to breath, I was suffocating, I was trapped, and I knew I was being overdramatic, selfish, and pathetic. I knew I shouldn't be acting like such a spoiled rotten princess, I mean by Azar even _Blackfire _never acted the way I stormed around my room and tried to find everything I would need to escape this meager existence I called Hell. _Starfire _would have sucked it up and held it in for the greater good; she would ignore her selfish needs in favor of those who needed her powers more desperately than she herself did. Even Terra learned her lesson and had become a model Titan who just loved saving people because she loved people.

Jinx had her moments and wasn't afraid to show her emotions and express herself.

Argent was sassy, but she was dedicated to her profession.

And Bumble Bee? She just does what she loves and loves what she does.

So why did _I _have to be the damn defect in all this?!

Why did I have to make my own life so fucking miserable that I wined up complaining and pouting, and bitching about it in the end? I mean, am I _that _much of an idiot to not let go of the one thing that had been causing me so much misery? Was I that selfish to want to remain a Titan, despite getting sick of battling evil knowing that no matter what I did it would never end while at the same time suffer the balancing-act of wanting X by my side no matter the cost? Can I be any more of a damn confusion to my self?!

_CRACK!_

My mirror shattered.

Shards of glass exploded and littered the floor of my room with millions of tiny little microscopic pieces of mirror that made the floor of my room look like a complete mess. Or a sad attempt at mimicking the grand night skies of Azarath … where the stars shone so bright they looked like sparkling pieces of diamonds that could be plucked from the bitter darkness. I flopped on my bed; my back slouched in defeat as I stared at the tiny glass pieces randomly scattered all over my floor. I then looked out my window to the dark skies of Earth and frowned when I could not see the stars … I wanted to see stars … I wanted peace, tranquility, and serenity.

I didn't want to feel trapped.

I didn't want to hate being a Titan … not when I loved it so much.

I loved my friends, I loved my job, I loved how I got to live life in brief moments like a teenager … I loved it all … I was just getting sick of it.

How could this be?

I asked myself that over and over and _over _again when I realized with great dismay that I couldn't fake it anymore. And as my eyes trailed back to my glass covered floor I sucked in a deep breath and came to the conclusion that I needed to leave again … but this time not for Tameran … I needed to go back to Azarath. I needed … to go home. I was too lost here … too confused, and too blinded by so many different strings pulling me this way and that, tearing me apart and ripping me to pieces to leave a bloody mess all over my bedroom floor.

A bloody mess … much like the scattered pieces of mirror, fragments of myself in total disarray were all over the floor … but … that was just me being poetic. I closed my eyes and held out a shaky hand then focused my powers on the one appendage and tried to use my soul-self to pick up each and every shattered piece of mirror to again reassemble it within its frame. It was no problem, I've done it before, besides, unlike the small vanity mirror that was a direct link into my mind, the large one was a direct link into my soul. It's just getting into it was a lot harder, and only when under extreme spiritual pressure will it shatter the way it had.

It was a sign no doubt.

I needed to relax.

I needed to leave … maybe I should go back home …

Absentmindedly I listened to the soft chimes of each piece of mirror clicking together as I forced them back into their frame. One at a time, yet all in perfect sync I fixed my soul-mirror and once it was back together I felt it pulse with magical energy letting me know of its complete assembly. At least, that's what I'd feel every time I had to put it all back together again. However, when I opened my eyes to look at the mirror, I saw from my point of view of sitting on my bed that the mirror was missing a piece. It was a slim two inch long piece dead in the center … and it was gone.

_Huh … _I thought in bewilderment, _how can that be … I was sure I picked up every fragment … _I stood up and began to scan the floor of my room for the long piece that I felt shouldn't be too hard to find. It was big, shiny, and sharp … I'll either cut myself finding it, or it'll shine in the dim candlelit lighting of my room, either which, I wasn't too concerned about losing it. No one can lose a piece of their soul … they can only be corrupted and I'd know if I was corrupted, the shape of the mirror would change … and the color would darken.

Since it did neither, I had to ponder how I missed a piece of myself.

Maybe I wasn't focused enough?

No … I would still sense its magic and pick it up straight away, but since this wasn't the case I stood in the middle of my room and continued to scan it with my eyes first until I saw it shimmering close to the door. I frowned, _How the hell did I miss that? _I went to go pick it up, but just as I came close to the door I heard someone manually hack into it's automatic locking sequence and suddenly it slid open upon the hacker's will. At first I thought it was Robin (he's the only one who has the courage to hack into my room unannounced). But since I wasn't aware of anyone ever approaching my room I was in total shock to find X leaning on the door frame with a dry look on his face.

I blinked when he tilted his head and said condescendingly, like I was some kind of fool that wasn't worth the time or effort, "Ya know … if you didn't want me to go, you could have just said so last night, instead of making a scene."

I blinked again when his words sank in and my anger returned, but I was in better control since I had been focused on something else, "I was not making a scene, I knew you didn't ever want to see me after tonight so I had to be sure just where the hell you were coming from with all this cautiousness." I then shook my head when another thought hit me, "What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be with the others?"

"I left early," he responded nonchalantly, but somehow it still sounded condescending and it just pushed more of the wrong buttons in me when he glanced around with an arched brow after he noticed something odd about me, "Uh … what are _you _doing?"

I scowled, "None of your business." I then bent over to snatch up the last glass shard, but he seemed to also notice my eye's target and was quicker in swiping it up.

My soul pulsed, and I had to physically restrain myself from clutching my heart when I felt his warm hands clutch at a piece of my soul. It didn't hurt, it just threw me off guard … no one has ever held onto my mirror, my soul … it felt strange … I felt vulnerable … like he literally had my life in his hands. I gritted my teeth when he tossed the shard in the air and caught it while making his way into my room uninvited like last night. Up the shard went, and back down into his grasp so he could get a closer look at it, "This looks like it could hurt someone … what is it? Glass?"

I gulped and as calmly as I could I said, "It's a mirror piece that I need …" I held out my hand for him to hand it over, "So give it back …"

His brow arched again and he glanced from me to the shard, then back at me, "Is this one of those magic voodoo shit that I shouldn't mess around with?"

"Yes …" I opened up my palm to emphasis my point, "Now just –"

He cut me off, "Wait, what does it do?"

I could have just smacked him for being such an ass, but I held my breath and my temper for the sake of keeping the peace. If anything rash happened and _he _accidently breaks that fragment Azar only knew what could happen, for my mother warned me to never, _EVER_ let anyone else other than myself handle the mirror if it should shatter due to stress. Don't know why, even she didn't understand herself, all she knew was no one else can hold the shard, but me. Grinding my teeth I hissed, "X, it shouldn't even matter to you, you're not suppose to be here remember, now go away and give me back that shard!"

He frowned and glared at me, "Don't you go and start putting shit on me, _you _were the one who started all that destroy-each-other bullshit, I'm just finally taking it to heart so I don't see why you're getting on my back for it."

"No, I suggested we become close friends, _you're _the one that wants to end it, but what I can't understand is _why."_

"You know why."

"I know why _I _want_ed _to end it, past-tense."

He shook his head and glared at me in frustration, "Why is this even a debate?! I thought you'd be ecstatic to see me go!"

"I know what I think X, I don't need you thinking for me! Now give me the damn shard!"

"Why the hell is it so important?"

"Because it is, now hand it over and just leave me alone!"

"Oh, so now you want me go huh, why don't you make up your mind."

"Are you being intentionally thick?"

He made a face, stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes, "Duuuhh …."

I rolled my eyes and huffed in irritation, "Argh! This is getting us nowhere," I grabbed for the shard in his fist.

But he pulled it away and since he was taller than me he grinned evilly while he stretched out his arm high over his head, "You can have it if you can reach it."

I levitated off the ground and snatched at it, but he pulled it back and snickered, "Come on, you gotta be quicker than that short stuff."

"I've had it with you!" My eyes lit-up pure white and I made a claw with my right hand, black talons from my dark-energy shot out as I tried to grab the not-so-snickering X, but he was too quick to get a hold of. Eventually I powered down, but that was only because I herded him close enough to my bookshelf where I mentally picked up a few heaver-than-dictionary books and flung them at the back of his head. The first one I fired, he went down without a fight, but he was still clutching the shard in his fist when I knelt beside him and tried to pry it out of his grasp, "I don't know what game it is you're playing at X, but I'm getting sick of playing it."

He swatted my hands away, but I slapped at his arms to stop him while I still tried to open his fist, he cringed, "It's complicated, ow! You're nails aren't exactly short ya know!"

"You don't know the first thing about complicated. Now give me the shard!"

I smacked his arm, but he wouldn't let go or stop trying to thwart my efforts until he grabbed one of my wrists and jerked me a bit so to force me to look at him, I glared when he sneered, "You are a very violent person, you ever thought about _asking _me to give it back."

"Asking you to do anything is like asking a horse to drink water on borrowed time; it just can't be done."

"Try me."

"…" I thought about it, then with a roll of my eyes I huffed in defeat and figured why the hell not, it was my soul he was holding, I couldn't let him break it, so I mockingly asked, "_Please _give me the shard."

He smirked and nodded, "There, ya see, now was that so hard?" He finally let go and I snatched the piece away before anything else happened then got up off the ground and walked back to my mirror. Using my power I put the shard back into place and it melted together with the rest of the mirror so it looked like it never shattered at all. Again, it pulsated with magical energy, but this time I felt complete, while behind me X picked himself off the ground and dusted his shoulders, "I don't see what the big deal was, it was just a mirror piece."

I decided he didn't need to know he had been holding a piece of my soul, so I didn't comment, however, I did move back to the previous topic, "What did you mean when you said complicated, what's complicated?"

He shot me a look of his that said I should know exactly what he was talking about while he stated dryly, "Look at us sunshine … we both said this wouldn't get personal, but we were both kidding ourselves …"

"…" I didn't speak, I was going to let this play itself out, besides, I think I have already established my saying anything doesn't help much, so I tried to patiently wait till he made his point.

He didn't seem to notice me lean on my dresser to wait for his reply as I watch him run his fingers through his hair. He then looked at me and shrugged, "I'll be blunt here Rae, I like you … more than I should, and that's hazardous for my lifestyle. Bad enough we're … I don't know, imma go out on a limb and say we're friends, but I've already curved my trend so we don't cross paths in the line of fire. Yet it doesn't seem to matter! You're a Titan; you attract too much attention and now look where I am! In Titan Tower pretending to be cool with _Beast Boy _and still watching my back in case Robin decides to pull a fast one on me, worse still they know what I look like."

I arched a sarcastic brow, "Wow, you are just full of problems aren't you, and you blame me for that?"

"No, and that's the part that fuckin' sucks … I can't blame you for any of this, believe me if I had the chance I'd throw you under the bus and ditch you in a heartbeat and that's me being honest."

I sneered, "Like I didn't already know that."

He went on as if I hadn't said anything, "But since this isn't the case here I thought quitting cold-turkey would be best for myself … I just thought you'd jump on the band-wagon."

"Yeah, but only if I had a _say _in the matter …" I shook my head, "X, just because an idea sounds good to you doesn't mean everyone else will think the same way. Besides, I don't know what magical-unicorn told you to change anything for anyone's sake, but I never asked for it. You seem to think you know me _soo _well, but you don't."

He then scoffed, "Raven, you never let anyone in far enough to know you."

I shot him a look, but didn't protest that statement, he was right.

At least on that he was right.

X sucked in a deep breath, again ran his fingers through his hair, and then shrugged in utter defeat, "So what do we do now?"

Funny, now he was leaving it up to me to decide so the blame wouldn't be on him, will his selfishness ever seize to amaze me … I scoffed at the sarcastic thought then sighed heavily and concluded that the best way to handle this was to be honest. He was already honest enough to admit that he _'liked me more than he should' _whatever the hell that meant, I owe him the same response, "You are a friend, X … I guess since the beginning I always thought of you as a friend … and …" I sucked in a deep breath; damn this was harder than I thought. My eyes couldn't stay on his; they kept drifting and looking around the room desperately trying to find the right words to express myself.

I don't do well with expressing myself.

I huffed in exasperation and said, "For the lack of a better way to put it, I don't want the … friendship to end …"

_No, no, no … friendship is the wrong word to use … _I thought as I rolled the word around in my head trying to make it fit in with the rest of my views of X, but it just wasn't working. _Friendship_ was definitely the wrong word to use, but I had no other way to describe it. So I stood there patiently waiting for a response never realizing through all my thinking that he had made small efforts to stand closer to me. Close enough, in fact, to reach out and take my hand into his, he pulled me closer to him and I complied, only because he looked like he needed to tell me something.

Or rather … he needed to _show_ me something.

He pressed his lips to mine in a non-invasive kiss that made me stand on my tip-toes to deepen it, but he wouldn't let me, he had brought his other hand to my shoulder to hold me still as he pulled away to stare at me in defeat, "I'll stick around then … but it's only fair I tell you, Rae … I don't want to be just your friend."

"I know …" I whispered and thought with a chill crawling down my spine, _I can feel it … _it was in that one kiss when lust wasn't the motivator or the culprit, he was clear headed, so much so I almost felt his thoughts channeled through his emotions. He really did like me more than he should … his selfishness was all due to his growing feelings for me, not because I was a Titan or the others knew what he looked like. X was just plain old afraid of getting too close to me, something that I myself should be fearing … but wasn't … no, I was supporting our friendship (there goes that word again) when he wanted to end it.

_He _was being rational, _I_ wasn't and while I stared into his yellow-gold eyes I saw that he seemed to understand that I now knew more about him than he wanted me to. Perhaps, that was his plan, what he couldn't express in words he explained in a kiss … poetic and romantic … but also very effective since he knew I was an empath. Why bother explain how he felt when he could merely show me … sneaky, sneaky. I almost couldn't contain my amusement when the thought of X still being X while exposing a more human side to him struck me as humorous.

Yet it was within this hidden amusement did the air around us finally clear and his somber look was replaced with his usual smug-grin when he leaned down to kiss me again, but stopped when another force interrupted him. I frowned and tilted my head when he stepped back from me and reached into his back pocket to pull out a cell phone. I arched a brow, _Okay … that's a first … _in the six months I've been with X; never had he ever pulled a cell-phone out while he was around me.

I tilted my head curiously as he observed the number on his blackberry, _tsked _and answered it, "A little busy right now, this better be important … aw, goddamn – where did you last hear from him? Well that's just wonderful. Yeah, yeah I got'im."

He hung up and sighed heavily while he stuffed the cell-phone back in his back-pocket and then announced, "I gotta go take care of something."

"What's wrong?"

"Ah …" he hesitated to tell me the truth, I could see it on his face, but when he looked down at me he gave in and confessed, "It's my brother … apparently he's not answering his cell and he hasn't come back from his job so now my sister's starting to freak and wants me to check his work to see if he's still there."

_So he does have family … _I made note of it, then nodded, "I guess you better get going then …"

He chuckled drily as he rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, about that … uh … I kinda also came here for one other thing …" I blinked and then sneered when he said, "You still have my suit …"

"Right …" I sighed heavily then turned and headed for my closet, sliding it open I reached up on my tip-toes to pull down a black box with circular symbols and estranged markings I knew X wouldn't have a single clue were about. I gasped softly when the weight of the heavy jade box caught me off guard and I ended up throwing it on my bed to keep it from falling on my foot … that would not have been very pretty.

In any case, the black-jade box bounced on my bed and sank into it due to its immense weight, X stood beside me then bent over to give the box a closer examination, "My suit is in this thing …?"

"When I said all Robin had to do was look in my closet, I never actually said it would have been easy for him to get to it. Not even a mega-ton nuclear warhead could open my little black-box." X chuckled at the thought while I placed a hand over the cover of the box, a bright greenish shield pulsed around it and its symbols lit up and started spinning counter clockwise. X took a step back, not entirely familiar with sorcery he watched from the sidelines as I unlocked the seal to his suit with the magic-words, _"I challenge the laws of Heaven and Earth, and summon forth the forces of Darkness … Open!"_

The glowing-green shield expanded, then collapsed in itself as the circular symbols suddenly froze then spun clockwise in rapid motion before it sank into the box and forced the six-prong locking-mechanism on its sides to open. The magic left and the box became just another box as I opened the top and laid it on the bed, it too sank into the mattress while I reached in and took out the Red X mask and handed it to X. X took it, but stared at the box hesitantly and repeated part of the summoning spell I muttered, "_'I challenge the laws of Heaven and Earth …?' _what's that all about?"

I was not at all surprised he'd ask me that so I calmly explained while I took out the rest of his suit and laid it out over my bed, "Heaven, Hell, Darkness, Light, Earth, and Nature are key elements that exist in all universes parallel to the reality each individual experiences. Summoning either will be impossible without challenging the other … Heaven and Earth are domains of Truth and Justice, Darkness is the domain of Shadows and Obscurities … secrets. It's not evil, simply misunderstood …"

_Whoa … _I thought to myself when I realized I had just recited the exact same words as Malchior had when he tried to teach me the Dark Arts. It didn't frighten me, just merely surprised me … the thought of that dragon has been doing that a lot too me lately, and he only seems to be brought up every time X is around. Is there a connection?

Nevertheless, Malchior wasn't the topic as of yet and so I discarded the thought of the dragon for now when X grasped my chin and brought my face up to his with that conniving smirk of his and asked mockingly, "Like you?"

I removed my head from his grasp and with a dry expression asked, "Don't you have a brother to look for?"

"Right," he sucked in a deep breath, gathered up his suit and with his usual two finger salute and a casual wink he bid me goodnight and left out the only entrance into my room. Which made me narrow my eyes for a second in thought, _How exactly does he plan to escape Titan's Tower? _He said he had already _'left' _the group downstairs, so didn't that mean he was basically gone? Wouldn't it be suspicious if say Terra finds him snooping around the Titans' sleeping quarters on the upper-levels, especially near my room since it was the closest to the rooftop?

That's when he came back in and leaned against my door, a cowlick of his floppy messy brown hair falling over his right eye as he chuckled and asked, "Uh … could you give me a hand here, I kinda didn't plan this out all the way."

I rolled my eyes, "So I see," I levitated across the floor of my room and as I met him at the center I asked, "Where are we going?"

"Carter Library, you know the place?"

The largest library in Jump City, I knew it, I went there on occasion because an old wizard who was also local to Azarath was the head-librarian there and was nice enough to lead me to the back where the real books were stored. It was also the library where I came across the Roridian Chronicles … Malchior's imprisonment, and I had to physically refrain myself from rolling my eyes when I realized I was thinking about that dragon again. So shaking my head I summoned forth my darkness and encased X in it to soar through my alternate reality at unnatural speeds to finally arrive within the library's lobby.

It was dark … creepily dark, and dreadfully silent.

I don't care how good X was at sneaking around; there was no way to escape the echoes of our footsteps and shuffling clothes. He stepped forward, closer to the marble countertop and with his hand cupped around his mouth he softly called what I guessed was his brother's name, "Miah … Miah you there?"

I looked up at the second-floor balcony listening to the echoes, the silence, the dead stillness of the library … there was obviously no one out in the open, so I made a suggestion, "He's probably in the back …"

X grumbled something inaudible under his breath, but then said aloud, "Yeah … maybe … wait here, I'll be back."

He didn't give me a chance to protest his plan, because he was already gone, which left me standing in the middle of the empty, dark, deserted, and creepy library all alone. The glass revolving-doors behind me granted little illumination from the moonlit night and little comfort when the angle of the lighting cast many shadows, many places to hide. I bit down on my lower lip and shifted my weight to one leg while I waited patiently for X to come back.

With an intake of air I slowly exhaled, but nearly choked on it when I heard the faint sounds of approaching footsteps coming from my right … or was it from my left? This damn echo made it sound like it was coming from all around me, but I kept from panicking and calmly scanned the area around me searching for the footsteps. For all I knew it could be the old-wizard, or even X's brother or another late-night worker re-shelving the books, _In the middle of the darkness …? Yeah right, _I contradicted myself, especially when I heard the footsteps were getting closer.

It wasn't until it rang so loud in my ears did I finally know where it came from and I quickly snapped my attention to the left. There, out of the darkness clutching a few books in his grasp a young man morphed out of the shadows and stood in the moonlight with me staring at me through silver frameless eye-glasses and an arched brow. With one of his free long slender fingers he pushed up his glasses and narrowed his black-brown eyes on me. He seemed perplexed about my being here and even darted his eyes from side to side scanning for anything else suspiciously out of place.

It was in this moment of silent hesitation did I speak up loud enough for the echo to carry my voice to him, "Miah? Is that you?"

He blinked and his black-brown eyes narrowed on me once again, he took a step further into the light and closer to me so I could see he had long pitch-black silky-straight hair held together loosely with a single white ribbon and his build was nothing to take lightly either. He was tall and lean, but not as cut as Robin, Speedy, or X. Neither did he look like a relative of X, but when he spoke the attitude and arrogance laced within his words became a different matter, "Miah is what my family calls me, Jerry is what my friends call me … you on the other hand are neither, therefore you shall address me formally as Jeremiah Fox. Now who might you be?"

He sounded younger than X that was for sure, but that arrogance displayed as plain as day, he had to be X's brother, add to the fact he just admitted he was Miah I had to keep my mouth from hitting the floor when it hit me all of a sudden. This guy, was the infamous Red X's brother … a living, breathing proof that the ruthless thief was human, I blinked, composed myself, and introduced myself simply as, "I'm a friend of your brother's."

He seemed bored and irritated that I didn't go into detail; it showed in the way he shrugged and asked pressingly, "Which one I have three?"

_X has two brothers besides Jeremiah … and a sister, _I tried to wrap my mind around that fact, but I found it hard to grasp the concept of X even having living relatives … it just completely shattered my ideal image of a rogue thief that lived for no one, but himself. To have siblings … wouldn't that mean he'd have to know a simple humble gesture as _sharing? _Wouldn't that contradict the fact that he was a thief? I was still trying to get this idea through my head when I stumbled to find the right answer since I didn't know X's real name, "Uh …"

When it looked like I was struggling Jeremiah rolled his black eyes in annoyance and huffed, "My God is it really this hard for you to know a single name?"

I sneered, _Yeah, he's X's brother alright … he's an ass just like him._

Speaking of X, the thief finally arrived from the back door and walked back into the lobby to discover Jeremiah standing with me, and he scowled, "There you are ya little prick. Seriously, Miah, would it kill ya to answer your damn cell phone every now and then so you don't give Bells a frickin' heart attack? She already got enough on her plate as it is."

Jeremiah rolled his eyes, "Relax, _Dad, _I called her not too long ago telling her I was on my way, and in case you've forgotten: I work in a _library! _Meaning I can't have my cell phone going off every five minutes just because Bella needs to know every thing of every moment of my life."

"What life? You work in a fuckin' library for crying out loud, how can you call that a life?"

"Well, let's see, because unlike _you _I choose to surround myself with the literary works of people whose words wielded enough power to change this contradictory world we live in."

X rolled his eyes skyward then sneered, "You're a _nerd, _live with it. Now go home before I smack you."

Jeremiah scowled and pushed his glassed back up on his nose, "You are a very rude individual, you know that?"

"But what are you going to do about it, becomes the question."

"Too bad there's no cure for stupidity," Jeremiah sighed in defeat while he headed for the exit and walked right by me without even acknowledging my presence, yet with a lazy salute he reminded X, "Just be sure to remind Malchior I'm sleeping over at your place this weekend, we need to go over a few things."

I blinked, _Did I hear that right … _I looked at X for answers and he glanced down at me with a shrug before saying, "Whatever."

Jeremiah waited for us to exit the building before he digitally locked the revolving door and went to his car, the only car parked on an empty street. X and I watched him leave and only when he was out of sight and we were once again alone did I ask, "You live with Malchior?"

X shrugged as if it were no big deal, and to him it probably wasn't, "Yeah … the guy's still trying to get use to modern life so I thought what the hell ya know …"

"You live with Malchior … and you didn't bother to tell me this, _why?"_

He shrugged, "What? I didn't think it mattered."

I huffed in exasperation, then asked, "And your brother? What does he have to do with him?"

"Hell if I know sunshine … some more of that mystic magic crap …"

_So this Jeremiah is studying with Malchior … and Malchior had been living with X all this time … just wonderful …_

"… You wanna see him don't you?"

I blinked and looked up at X to find him staring down at me with that serious face of his, one that I've been seeing a lot more frequently these days. It took me a moment to realize he was talking about Malchior, but when I did I blinked away from him to stare at the ground with a weak shrug. The thought of being able to see Malchior again had never come to me, but now that X mentioned it I felt … hesitant, "I dunno if I should …"

He suddenly stretched and yawned aloud just before saying, "Then it's settled … this Saturday at eight am, I'll pick you up and we'll go for a little stroll … night sunshine."

I frowned and shook my head, "Wait a minute I never said –!"

"Saturday at eight," he urged with a playful glare and a sneaky grin, "No exceptions, I will kidnap your ass if I have to and you know I can do it." I crossed my arms over my chest and challenged him with a glare that he thwarted with a nonchalant shrug, "Besides … my sister's been dying to meet you."

I tilted my head and slowly arched a questioning brow that he responded with another shrug and with his signature two-finger salute he began to walk down the street and caught a cab to once again leave me all alone in thought. Seeing Malchior after all this time … did I want to? Was I ready? What would happen? Just the thought of seeing him again was bringing a light blush to my cheeks. And … why did X's sister want to see me? How did she even know about me? Unless he's been talking about me to her behind my back … for some reason that thought churned my stomach and made my already light blush darken in embarrassment.

This weekend … I knew … would be an interesting one.

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans DC owns that, but I do own Jeremiah Fox …**

**A/N: Wow … this took a little longer than my last updates, sorry about that folks other things have come up that just couldn't be ignored … but … O.o … half-assed confession much X, lol.**

**Okay, might as well get this over with … I know most of you are going: 'WTF?! Malchior?! Seriously?! What about Speedy?!' or 'Pfft, saw it coming a mile away' well, good for you, but this has to happen for a number of reasons. One is in my own personal opinion she can't exactly jump into a romantic-typish relationship before making sure she's out of the woods with her last one (I've personally witness the chaos that ensues if this is not done and trust it's not pretty). **

**Second is Malchior does play a more important role other than his obvious connection with Raven, but I urge you all not to worry there's not gonna be some kind of love-triangle with x/rae/mal she just has to get over him and vise versa that's it I swear (there is a reason this story is called "Long road to Ruin" lol). Other than that, I think I said too much so I'll stop taking now and leave it up to you guys to ponder about.**

**L8er daez**


	12. Comfort Zone

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Comfort Zone**

Saturday, 5:57 am, training-practice starts in three minutes … and it's been three days since I last spoke to X when he pretty much made my plans for me for the whole day, which I wasn't too hot about, but ended up going along with it anyway. However, the problem now was: how to explain to Robin that I would have to be gone for the whole day without bringing attention to myself … tricky, tricky. I considered picking a fight with Terra again, she was always the easiest to set off and it would make sense since the two of us don't like each other very much to begin with.

Or, I can try to switch it up and hit Robin directly, he was never too observant when he was mad … and it wasn't all that hard to set him off either, but setting him off without attracting suspicion later on as he cooled down would be difficult. Robin wasn't stupid, and trying to deceive him was best left to the pros since he was always so paranoid and always seemed to question everything that happened around him. Granted it was a good personality trait for a leader that should constantly stay on top of things, but in every day conversation, sometimes questioning everything to a literal point grew unbearably annoying.

So my predicament?

Piss him off enough where he doesn't ask too many questions.

I tilted my head in thought as I watched him and Cyborg set up the timer on the master control-panel which over looked a large Olympic sized swimming pool located in the Tower's subbasement. The training run today apparently was to test endurance and stamina and I already had a plan on how to get on the boy-wonder's case. My last stamina testing in this pool was horrible, I came in last to Terra and that was due to my lack of motivation, Robin jumped all over my case and at the time I didn't see a need to fight back. All I had to do now was fail the test again with an even lower time, let Robin get on my case, argue with him for a few minutes, and then storm off in an exasperated huff.

Easy.

If I chose my words just right that is.

So while I stood in the back, like I always did I hatched up every possibility that'll come up in our fight and worked out every kink to make sure it went smoothly, even while Robin instructed the group about what was to happen I was scheming. Damn, I was probably worse than X or Blackfire to be able to do this without hesitation or guilt … I paused in my planning and took a detour to ponder on that one saying: let sleeping dogs lie. Funny, how I can be able to sleep like a baby while I went behind my teams back with one of their most wanted villains … hmm … my violet eyes shifted under my hood to Terra when another thought crossed me.

She's never fought against Red X before.

Made me wonder just how she'd fair.

Not like it was high up on my interest-list, I was just slightly curious is all and in being slightly curious it was thrown to the back of my mind as another unimportant side-thought to later be forgotten. Instead, I shifted my thoughts back on my _'Master Plan' _while I sat at the edge of the pool with my boots off and my feet dipped into the cool chlorine. I sat beside Terra and Starfire while we – well they did anyway – watched Beast Boy race against the clock back and forth within the pool in his human form. Terra cheered him on while she admired his green well fit exposed torso. She giggled with Starfire for a bit and then clapped when Beast Boy finally finished and scored a second faster than his last record.

Beast Boy then did a victory dance and Terra pressed her lips to his in a congratulatory kiss. Their love for one another radiated outward and filled the room with so much warm fuzzies it was making my stomach churn, not in a bad way, but since I was an empath I could feel their love so strongly it was affecting me physically. I took in a deep breath and slowly breathed out while Terra slipped out of her uniform and into her yellow string-bikini; she winked at Beast Boy and took her post at the far end of the pool. Beast Boy, much in the way Terra had done for him began to cheer her on like her own little mini cheerleading-squad.

The loud shouting was echoing throughout the large empty space and was ringing in my ears, I had to refrain from going off on Beast Boy, he wasn't my target … Robin was. In any case, the buzzer for Terra's timer went off and the blonde took off into the water like a speedy water nymph who forgot how to swim. She was lagging pretty bad and I cringed when I realized I'd have to pretend to be as bad as her … it was going to be difficult to make it look convincing since Robin knew for a fact that I had enough endurance to outlast the geomancer.

Before I knew it, she was done and Robin pulled her to the side to give her, her morning review, she took it in stride and even with a smile, promising Robin that she'd get right on it with Beast Boy. Something I was sure neither were too gloomy about, and as she dried off with her towel Robin called to me, "Raven, you're up next."

I stood up from the edge of the pool and walked to the starting end, with my cape undone and the practice weights wrapped around my ankles I did my breathing exercises first, stretched a little and got into position. With a nod I gestured for Cyborg and Robin to start the clock, they needed no more incentive, the buzzer sounded and I dove in the icy-cold water and swam like a lazy duck … well, I actually put forth more effort than a lazy anything. Yet still, by the time I completed my third lap I caught a glimpse of my clock flashing red, which meant I had gotten worse than my last time around.

I kept going and knew Robin had stopped counting; I concentrated on his aura and felt he was gravely disappointed in me. So I decided to lay it on a little thick when I ended my fourth lap and pretended to struggle to grasp a hold of the edge of the pool while I gasped for air and weakly pulled myself back on dry land. No surprise to me I heard Beast Boy hiss and snicker, "Oh-boy she's gonna get it now."

I sat at the edge of the pool and looked in their immediate direction when Terra elbowed his rib and scolded him with a glare of warning before she looked up and watched Robin come down off his control-panel to confront me, and he wasn't smiling. Mentally, I prepped for the battle to come as I lifted my legs out of the water to un-strap the 30lb weights on my ankles while a tingling in the back of my neck told me Robin was standing right behind me. I didn't bother to say anything, instead he started off by asking (or more like demanding), "What happened?"

"I was distracted …" I answered leisurely as if it didn't matter that I had totally given up on my stamina-test, with the 30lb weights in my hand I dropped it to the tiled ground and it landed it with a threatening _clank _that Robin ignored while I sighed heavily and added, "… I didn't get much sleep last night, so I couldn't concentrate."

He responded heatedly, "So that's why you fell a full thirty seconds longer than your last lap, which wasn't that impressive to begin with?"

I formed a sneer on my lips as I turned to scowl up at my towering leader to say, "Well sorry, but not everyone can be you, Boy-Blunder. I have limits."

"And how many times have I told you, you have to push those limits. No one out in the field is going to care that you can't seem to manage your power under stress." He never faltered, even as I stood up and leveled with him, I didn't expect him to hesitate with me, as a matter of fact I knew he'd be harder on me than anyone else on the team. He expected a lot from me, so to know I was doing poorly was means for intervention and I completely understood where he was coming from; however, I still had to push his buttons.

So instead of taking his criticism in stride I challenged it, "I'm having an off day, crack your whip some other time and I'll pass it with flying colors."

"That isn't the point here Raven and you know it … for the pass few days you've been lagging, getting soft. If you can't keep up there's only so much I or anyone else on this team can do to help you on a mission, let alone trust you can even hold your own weight both literally and figuratively." He stepped up to me and with a finger pointed it at my face, "Whatever issues you have going on in your head, deal with it, or get rid of it because it's effecting the way you perform and the way you think."

I glared at his finger then smacked his hand out of my face, "Don't lecture me like I'm some insubordinate child, I don't need you to get all over my case just because I didn't make your cut, alright. So stop running around here like Mr. Perfect, if you haven't noticed I'm getting rather fed up with your: _For the sake of the team, _bullshit! If this was all for the sake of the team than let the _TEAM _declare what's right and what's wrong not just _YOU! _You may be the leader of the Titans, but you can't tell me what I'm capable of. Only _I _will know that." _Whoa … _I thought in shock … _I didn't know that'll make me feel so good … _shouting at him, telling him off. All the words that had come out of my mouth had been the truth, word for word my thoughts spilled out and became spoken language … and I shouted it all right in his face.

Still in awe at myself, I watched Robin blink back in bewilderment, then exclaimed, "How in the hell did this suddenly become all about me?! Raven, we're talking about your performance! It … it … it _sucked!_ You don't have to bite my head off just because you know I'm right!"

"Sure you're right," I bent over and snatched up my cape while I stormed away from him heading for the elevator that'll take me away from here, yet as I stomped away I shouted loud enough for my echoes to fill the sudden stillness and bitterness in the air, "You're always so goddamn right! No room for error, no room for second thoughts, no room to _breath!" _I literally punched the button to open the elevator and while I waited I spun around to exclaim, "In case you've been too far away from Gotham let me remind you of one important lesson: The world is not just Black and White, it's complicated, it's ugly, and every body _lies!"_

I spat that last word out like vile-poison and with it the control-panel Cyborg stood next to exploded, it diverted everyone's attention as I backed into the elevator and rapidly punched on the button to close the door shut. Robin didn't get a chance to say anything else when he looked back at me to find the doors had already slid shut. I leaned against the far wall, sucked in a deep breath and dropped my face into my hands and my cloak to try to help calm myself down and to stop myself from shaking.

Every word of it …

Everything I had said just then …

It came from the heart …

It was all suppose to be a way to push Robin's buttons and to get him mad enough at me that he wouldn't care whether or not I was in the Tower … ugh! I should have known it would backfire! Now he was going to come looking for me and asking if everything was alright … or worse, he would try to talk to me to help me express my emotions. The plan was so simple … I've done it before … so how come I faltered now? I shook my head, it didn't matter how or why I did what I did and said what I said … either way I would have to suffer the repercussions, I was just going to have to prepare for it.

I just wish I didn't have to make my own life so complicated.

With an exhausted huff, the elevator finally dinged to my floor and I flew down the hall to my room where I took a quick shower and got dressed for my meeting with X. Angrily combing through my hair and wincing with every tangle I came in contact with and broke, there came a knock on my door (gee, why wasn't I surprised) and Robin's voice muffled through the door as he said, _"Raven, open up what the hell is going on with you?"_

I sneered, "Go. Away."

"_You either open the door or I invite myself in."_

I stopped to glare challenging at my door, "Try it and you'll see."

"_Raven, you're being unreasonable! What the hell have I ever done to upset you?! Why don't you talk to me?!"_

"Because there is nothing to talk about! Now leave me alone!"

He wasn't going away, _"Raven –!"_

So I screamed, "Robin! If you care in the least about me than you'll do us both a favor and _go away!!"_

I hadn't realized it till I saw it hit the ground, but I had thrown my brush to the door while the right corner of my right eye began to leak silent-angry tears. My teeth were grinding to hard together I was afraid they'd crack if I didn't release the pressure and my breathing was heavy and labored all due to rage … rage mixed with frustration and fear. I could feel it crawling throughout my body, looking for a way out and they were finding it within all the books on my bookshelf as they began to rattle threateningly. The rattling was shaking the walls and I knew Robin could hear the vibrations through the door … the door he stood on the other side of. Perplexed … confused … and worried.

I guessed at those three … I wasn't sure what he was thinking or feeling … I didn't care to know, my focus was blurry, and I was still trying to calm myself down before I brought the entire Tower down and took everyone else down with it. _Maybe that's not such a bad idea … _I thought bitterly as I gulped and tried to relax my shoulders by standing up straight and slowing my breathing down to a normal rate. Only then did the rattling stop and I finally could hear the silence of my room and the silence of Robin still standing outside my door trying to determine what he should do.

Ultimately, he hesitantly walked away from my door and away from my room until I could no longer feel his looming presence and I was left alone … truly alone … and I collapsed to my bedroom floor on my knees in exhaustion.

Was I tired because of my laps?

No.

Was I tired of being in the Tower?

Yes.

Was I tired of lying to my friends?

Yes.

Was I tired of seeing X?

… No …

--

_Snap!_ X snapped a finger in my face, then all but shouted in my ear, "Hey, sunshine, you still with me?"

I blinked away my unfocused thoughts and felt myself come back down from space when I realized I had zoned out for the umpteenth-time since X had picked me up from the Pier on his modified Hayabusa superbike. However, what he picked me up in was not the case here, what is, is the fact he had taken us to Jump City's largest shopping mall, simply dubbed: _The Mall, _otherwise known as _Starfire's Favorite Place _and dragged me to the toy store. Of _ALL _places, X had dragged me to was a toy-store, and not just the toy-store, but to the _pink-girl _section of the toy-store.

Everything was bright, pink, and _cute _and was probably one of the reasons why I had zoned out … I can't stand the color pink and plus the noise of this place was grating to the ears. From loud obnoxious toys, to cooing parents, and screaming children it was enough to make me want to run to the nearest Catholic Church and beg to be converted into a nun just to save myself the horrors of motherhood. I cringed when I heard a spoiled-brat a few aisles down suddenly throw a temper tantrum because his mother wouldn't get him the Batman Doll (excuse me, _action-figure_) he wanted. Even Timmy wasn't this much of a hassle, and yet, through all this mayhem when I looked up at X I had to stare at him in astonishment to see him unfazed by all the chaos.

It was like he's been through all of this before, and I had to ask, "What are you doing here again?"

He just cocked a brow and looked at me dryly, "Jeez you're really out of it, I just told you we're here for a toy, a girl toy …" he paused to glance around the pink shelves and honestly seemed to contemplate what he wanted to get, "… Hmm … do six year olds still run the risk of swallowing small objects?"

I sighed heavily, "I wouldn't know … who's the toy for?"

"My niece, she's turning six today and I still haven't gotten her anything …"

I blinked, my brain still trying to catch up with the rest of me, "Your niece?"

"Yeah …"

"…" I looked at the selections and found my eyes crossing over from all the pink bright colors and found I just didn't have the patience today to concentrate on something as trivial as a little girl's toy. Especially with so many ruckuses around us, "Ugh … X, just get her a Barbie and be done with it."

"I should shouldn't I …" he only seemed to acknowledge I made a suggestion, but when his eyes trailed to the side he suddenly had an epiphany, "Got it!"

I stood still and watched him rush to the far corner of the aisle to snatch a larger-than-life giant white teddy-bear with a red ribbon tied around its neck and a mistletoe plant within the red ribbon. With a pleased smile on his face he came back to me and held it out for me to take, I did and held it at arms length while he asked, "What do you think? Good enough?"

I looked at him and shrugged, "Not very original, but I wouldn't know, I'm not six."

"Aw, come on, you're a girl, help me out here you like it or not?"

With a look of: _'Yeah right' _was written all over my face I said, "I don't know if you've noticed this, but I'm not like most girls …" I then paused to sigh heavily and brought the bear closer to my person, even hugged it to feel how soft and fluffy it was, then I stared at its glass-like Tweedy Bird, puppy-dog eyes and shrugged again, "It's … cute …"

X grinned smugly, "So you like it?"

I looked at him as I handed him back the bear and said drily, "I know someone will like it, now go pay for it while I wait outside."

Once he took the bear out of my hands I immediately worked my way through the crowd back out into open space where I can breathe again. Granted I was still in The Mall, but at least I wasn't in that crowded toy-store, ugh, in this time of year I really don't want to be caught in any public place as big and as accessible as this. Too many people, too many bodies, too many emotions flying around … it was overwhelming my senses, not to mention my brain was already strained from my early-morning disaster. I just couldn't think … I needed some space … maybe I shouldn't have come with X to see his family and to finally see Malchior again.

Today is just not my day; I don't think I'm mentally prepared for this much excitement.

For Azar's sake, X had repeated himself to me and the fact of him still having a niece hadn't yet sank into my head, but after the fight I had with Robin I couldn't go back to sulk and brood in my room. It meant still staying in a Tower where he could access me whenever he wanted to talk to me … and I really, _really _didn't want to talk to him. So I sat on one of the mall benches and waited patiently for X to come out of the toy store with his purchase. And while I waited, I zoned out again.

My mind almost completely shut down and submerged itself into Nevermore, I couldn't hear the crowded mall, I couldn't see clearly when everything suddenly became a blur and the entire world went still … numb … I have now successfully shut out the world. Not such a hard feat either, I always found it easier to shut the world out than I do trying to participate in it. However, this time I made sure not to fall too far into my silence and kept a separate part of me alert to X's arrival … no need to alarm him of my mental instability at the current moment.

I just had to hold it all together for as long as I could … and maybe, just maybe Azar would be generous enough to cut me a break.

I needed it … _soo _badly.

5 minutes passed and X finally came out with the giant teddy-bear tucked under his arm a grin on his face and something else in a plastic bag that I didn't bother to ask about. I looked up at him as he jerked his head to the side, a gesture for me to follow him out of the mall and I did so without saying a word. Quietly, I kept to myself as I walked beside him through the large crowd of people towards the garage where he parked his bike, and while we walked I trained my eyes to the ground. I didn't say a single word the entire walk and neither did he, which I was grateful for and once we got to his bike he waited for me to climb on board first and then he handed me the giant teddy-bear.

I took it, but before he got on he took whatever was in the plastic bag out and without looking me in the eyes, handed me another teddy-bear exactly the same as the giant one in my hands only shrunk down to beanie-baby size. I stared at it for a moment, blinked, and then looked up at X as he hopped on his bike, snatched the giant teddy-bear from my hands and prop it in front of him. He handed me his helmet, but before I put it on I asked about the beanie-baby, "What's this for?"

He glanced back at it, shrugged nonchalantly and said, "It looked lonely … you looked sad, so I thought what the hell, Misery loves company right?"

_It's for me …? _I looked back down at the tiny little beanie-baby while its glassy eyes stared back at me with the wish to be held, kept, and loved. Was he trying to say something? Was I really that obvious? I sighed heavily and tucked the tiny little thing in my pocket, then scooted closer to X as he started his bike, revved the engine, and put on his red-mirror shades. Just before I slipped the helmet on I whispered loud enough into his ear, under the roar of his engine a soft, "Thank you …"

No snappy comebacks, no sarcastic retort, no sadistic jibe, nothing, he simply nodded in acknowledgement and waited for me to slip my helmet on. Afterwards he zipped out of the garage straight for Jump City Central Park where I remembered him saying something about me meeting his family there and I get the distinct feeling he was also taking me to a kiddie-party. Not exactly the kind of place I'd expect to see a conniving-ass like X to be skulking around in, much less even picture it. Through the whole drive there, I kept trying to imagine X surrounded by a bunch of kids, laughing, joking, and playing peek-a-boo with, and I kept failing miserably … I just couldn't picture it.

Truth is always stranger than fiction, and as he pulled up and parked in a slot between two cars on the sidewalk, I dismounted with still a dark cloud of gloom looming over my head and the impossible-to-construct imagine still not forming in my head. He smirked at me like he knew something I definitely didn't and lead me towards the park's gate. With the teddy-bear still tucked under his arm we walked through the park in silence until we came to a secluded part of it and X lead me off the paved trail into a cozy little section of the park I had no idea existed.

This secret place pocketed an old worn out bench that was stationed to my far right and it was covered with a white table-cover and with tupperwares of food neatly lined up on top by a woman who had to be close to _my _age if not younger tending to the table. She seemed to be in her own little world as she set everything up and made everything pretty. Also, sitting at the bench reading an old tome I knew was no fake was Jeremiah. However, with the bright light of day shining on him he seemed like nothing more than a studious college student with his glasses and self-important regal air about him.

There were more people for me to observe, but X blocked my view of them and gently pushed me back where we were out of sight from the others, I looked up at him wondering why he was now so hesitant to show me his family, but I got it all wrong. He wasn't worried about introducing _me; _I would soon find out that he was actually anxious about introducing _himself _to me. He would finally lay it all out … everything … he really was going to show me who the man is behind the mask … and despite his dislike of being compared to Robin I knew he would be very much like him in this department.

Masks were his comfort-zone.

Just like Robin.

Letting someone else know their identities was the equivalent of a long time partnership.

Everyone had their windows to their souls.

Mine was my emotions … X and Robin's were their masks …

X sucked in a deep breath and huffed then with conviction he confessed, "Call me Dray … or Ray … it doesn't matter, everyone here knows me as either or."

He tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal with a nonchalant shrug and a weak smirk, but I knew how important this was to him, and with a conviction I, too, confessed, "Alright then Dray," I paused for a second to taste that name and roll it around my tongue for a bit to let it sink in, then continued, "I'm Raven Roth … but you can call me Rae."

He shot me a playful look followed with a scoff and a roll of his eyes, "Whatever you say, _Rae."_

Just like that, he turned around and gestured for me to follow him back into the clearing to finally be introduced to _Dray's_ family, but first, I stood back and let _Dray _have his moment. I watched the young-girl fixing the table finally look up and all but scream in joy when her round doe-brown eyes found X's and she ran into his arms to give him a tight hug, "Oh my God, Ray! I can't believe you came! I thought, since you haven't given me an answer you were going to blow me off, but you're here! You're really here!"

"Yep … I'm here, call the White House and schedule a press conference because this is _the_ news of the century," he rolled his eyes and shrugged, "Come on Bells, gimme a break, you just saw me a few days ago."

_Bells … _I remembered that name from the night before, when X had received that call and when I first met Jeremiah who also mentioned the name 'Bella' so she had to be the sister. I took in the petite young-woman's appearance, she was short, maybe an inch shorter than me, her face looked like X's, but she didn't have the same eyes as him, neither were they shaped the same. Although, she did have the same light brown hair as X and it was long, layered, thick, and wavy. All in all, she looked sweet, innocent, naïve, and not the type I'd associate with a guy like X who was the exact opposite: conniving, mean, and brutally-honest.

This, _Bells, _made a pouty face and _tsked _as she said, "Maybe so, but you seem to always be busy, and the last time you totally blew off Carmen's birthday, she was heartbroken Ray! You're, like, her favorite uncle."

_Valley-girl … _those words kept popping into my head to describe the way this girl acted, but I didn't set it in stone yet, I gave her a chance to prove herself to me while X shrugged, "Yeah, well, here I am … and I brought company …"

He seemed reluctant to step aside to finally show me off to the famous sister he's told me he's talked to about me. I didn't bother to smile, nor did I bother to put up a front to conceal my being a Titan, I figured the black hair I now dawned should be enough and besides that I wasn't in the mood to play incognito right now. So as Bells or Bella's doe-brown eyes shifted from X to me, I let her make her own judgments on me as she smiled welcomingly and stepped up to me with a friendly hand held out to grasp while she cooed, "Ooo, you must be the famous Rae I've been hearing so much about lately, I was wondering when we'd meet! I'm Annabel, but everyone here calls me Bella, you're more than welcome."

Annabel … what an old name, but it suited her somehow as I grasped her hand and a tingle of her aura was imprinted into my memory and I had to say, Valley-girl was definitely not the right way to describe her. She was down to Earth, honest, and tried as hard as she could to live a full life … she valued family above all else and … much to my earnest shock … she has a child. I could feel the similar aura signature lurking around the park somewhere, and the child I realized was a girl, _Carmen … _the name echoed in my head and when I looked at X I realized the teddy-bear must have been for this _Carmen. _

All of this rushed into me within a matter of seconds and so I never skipped a beat when I in turn nodded and introduced myself as, "Rae Roth … I don't know what Dray's been saying, but I hope it's all good."

She giggled and released my hand to flick her wrist dismissively, "Don't worry, it is all good, and let me just say I'm glad you've met my brother, he's one of the most honest people I know."

_You obviously don't know much, _I nearly came close to saying aloud, but bit down on my tongue while X in the corner of my eye chuckled and walked to the bench sure that I could hold my own against his inquisitive sister. I instead forced a small chuckle and replied, "If you say so."

"Come on!" She suddenly grabbed my wrist and tugged me to the bench, "Have a sat (a/n: not a typo, did that on purpose) and enjoy yourself, it's all family here and so long as you're with Ray, you're family."

I glanced down at the relaxed X who winked at me and I shook my head, "Uh … we're not together, _together_ … we're just … uh … friends."

"If I had a quarter for every girl Ray brought home that said that I'd be one rich mofo right about now." I spun around to notice a group of people converge on the bench at once and the man who spoke held a small two-year-old baby boy in his arms. While a woman beside him cradling an infant sneered disapprovingly and with her free hand smacked his arm, he flinched away from her with a curt laugh.

The woman narrowed her Asian-exotic almond shaped eyes, "What did I tell you about swearing in front of Tony, he's a sponge, he'll pick up your bad habits if you keep it up."

The man rolled his dark shade of amber eyes and put the child down with a scoff, "Relax Deena, it's not like you can censor everything around the kid, he needs a little corruption every now and then. Right Ton, say it with me kid: Relax mommy."

Tony or Ton, whichever he went by stared up quizzically at who I assumed to be his father and X's brother, with his perplexed light brown eyes his father repeated slowly while his mother rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation, "Reee-laaxxss Mom-mee, say it Ton."

Tony in his cute childish-glory said softly and shyly, "Weelacks mommy …"

His father laughed, his mother shook her head, and another in the group smacked the father upside the head, "Vince, stop being such an ass."

"Hey," Vince turned to Deena and pointed at the other man in the group and whined, "Deena, he not only swore, he hit me! Get on his case!"

Deena sneered, "Relax _daddy, _you need a little corruption in your life. Hey Bella," I remained unnoticed and watched Annabel rush up to Deena's side to peer down at the tiny infant in her arms.

She cooed, "Oh my God he looks so _cute! _I just want to take him home with me. I want to hold him!"

Deena giggled and carefully handed the fragile baby to Annabel while she turned to scan the grounds for the missing birthday girl, "So where's little Carrie? I thought this was her B-day?"

"Oh she's with Mal somewhere in the park."

"You left your kid alone in the park with _Mal?"_ The man who smacked Vince spoke up from behind me after he helped the other woman sit on the bench and I gulped when I noticed the young woman who couldn't be any older than X, was very, _very _pregnant. She looked ready to pop and when she felt my staring she smiled sweetly at me, I returned the smile with a node of acknowledgement while I turned my attention back to her partner. The man glared disapprovingly at Annabel and Annabel in response seemed to flinch away from his scolding tone of voice, "Bella, that's just stupid –"

"Hey, hey, hey," X cut in, "Come on Rian, it's a party, get off her back."

Rian cocked a brow as he looked down at X and then sneered, "You shouldn't be talking _Dray, _you're the idiot who brought him around and now we can't seem to get rid of him."

"Get over yourself."

"Grow up."

"Orion," Rian now Orion looked down at the woman I guessed was his wife when she raised a gentle hand up and grasped his arm. She didn't have to say anything, only the look she gave him pleaded with him not to start a fight and though he complied he seemed reluctant to do so and he hid his amber eyes under the hood of his bangs and kept quiet. I glanced at X to find he had his head tilted down to stare at the ground in what I could only describe as shame for instigating a fight, but I couldn't register that expression from X. X being shameful of something?

That was a first and I couldn't stop staring … until Vince leaned into my point of view and with a playful smirk held out his hand, "Hey, I'm Vincent, and you might be?"

I blinked and it took a moment for me to grasp his hand and shake it in earnest, "Uh, Rae Roth …"

He shook it firmly and grinned, "Rae Roth huh …" he looked down at X and nudged him, "Hey, what happened to that other cutie you were going out with, you know, the cherry-blonde one, she was sweet."

X shot him a dark look, "Screw you Vincent."

"Ooo, touché." Vincent snickered and flicked his wrist dismissively at him while he addressed me, "He's more of the baby of this family than Miah is."

On the side Jeremiah commented, "I resent that."

I forced a chuckle and shrugged, "Oh, really … well, who's the oldest?"

Vincent proudly proclaimed, "I am, that crabby woman whom I despise with all my heart over there is my girlfriend Nadine," Nadine or rather the woman I previously knew as Deena scowled at him and flashed him her tongue while she placed the tiny napping infant in its basket and went to help Annabel prepare the balloons for Carmen. Vincent chuckled then pointed at Orion, "That brooding rain cloud is Orion and beside him is the sweetest girl you'll ever meet Kayla who is currently waiting for her little baby girl … decided what you'll call her yet Kay?"

Kayla blushed beet red and shook her head, but waved and smiled at me.

Vincent then moved on to reintroduce X to me, "The baby of the family is Drake, but you already knew that." To emphasis his point he rubbed his hand over X's head and tangled his already messy hair that earned him a good hard glare and a sloppy kick I knew X purposefully executed to allow Vincent to dodge with a playful laugh, "Then comes along our dear, dear baby-sister Annabel –" Annabel curtseyed and blew me a kiss, "– and last but most certainly the least of the Fox family is the book-dork Jeremiah, and the only one in the family who wears glasses, poor kid, he got stuck with the leftover genes I guess."

Jeremiah glared from his book and flipped his brother off which earned him a good smack in the back of his head by Nadine, "There are kids here! You mind! You boys are the most vulgar bunch I've ever come to know. My God!"

Vincent then perked up and spun back around to face me, "That's right! I almost forgot …" he searched around the bench to find the child dubbed Tony crawling under it and laughing when his father reached in to grab him, "Come'ere ya little punk," he bounced the child in his arms and it was then did I see the boy had the brightest set of amber eyes which I had somehow mistaken for brown when they appeared nearly yellow when the sun hit it at an angle just right. His father gestured for him to face me and the child's smile quickly vanished when he saw me, "This runt is my oldest son, Anthony … that runt in the basket is Nathan. Say hi Ton."

Little Anthony stared at me for a few seconds before burying his face in his father neck and clutching hold of him in fear, I didn't blame him, children had a stronger sense of evil than adults. They knew when something should be respectfully avoided, Vincent looked down at his kid with a perplexed gaze, but looked to me with an encouraging smile and dry shrug, "Eh, he's probably shy around pretty girls. _So, _straight to the point then, how'd ya meet my brother, what attracted him to you, and why are you still with him?"

_Good questions … _I thought with a tired huff and closed my eyes to think for a moment, but I made it seem like I suddenly caught a case of shyness as I tipped my head down to the side to fake it properly. When in reality I felt a strong pulse of familiar energy suddenly rush me like a raging river flooding over all my senses, it was Malchior, I knew it, I recognized the inhuman aura and the thirst for power. His instinct had probably reached out to me when he felt a source of great power lingering within what he dubbed his domain. I bit down on my lower lip to control the urge to gasp as another pulse of his aura swept through me and nearly left me breathless.

Carefully, I opened my mouth in an attempt to answer Vincent's questions, but ended up yelping softly and stumbling back with a hand clutching the side of my head when I felt Malchior suddenly invade my mind. It didn't so much hurt as it did shock me. I caught my balance, but startled Vincent when he reached out to try and help me stay on my feet. However with Anthony in his arms left him handicapped and X soon enough appeared at my side asking me what the matter was. I couldn't respond, not yet, not until I got over the feeling of being violated … it's just been so long since I felt someone _else _initiate a mental link, needless to say, I felt uncomfortable.

"Rae … Rae, you alright?" X held my head within his hands and forced me to look into his worried golden eyes that searched my violet eyes for an answer, a clue to whatever was happening to cause such an alarm.

I gulped when I finally heard his voice in my head … by Azar … I had forgotten how beautifully elegant it sounded ringing in my ears, or rather my head, _"You came …"_

"_I did …"_

Then … as if nothing had ever happened … as if it were all a dream … he vanished and left me feeling so empty and alone.

I blinked and caught my breath when I realized I had been holding it in and judging by the startled looks on everyone's faces, especially X's I probably scared them with my own blank expression. I felt X gently rub his thumb over my cheek and when he did I also felt it was moist, I brought a hand to feel my face and was shocked to find that I had shed a tear, I blinked again and looked directly at X to find him staring anxiously at me. Slowly, I nodded my head and gulped, "I'll be fine …"

He frowned and whispered, "What happened?"

"…" for a moment I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what happened. All I knew was I heard Malchior in my head, and then a few seconds later, like he was a whisper in the wind, he was gone. It felt like a dream, but I knew for certain it wasn't … sooner or later, I was going to see Malchior … and he would come sooner rather than later.

How did I know that?

I sensed his approach from directly behind me and like a silent ghost he materialized from the dark shadows of the shady trees to come into being. I tore myself from X to turn around to see for myself, Malchior. In all his unchanging, un-aging glory standing at the edge of the small clearing with an expressionless face, narrowed cinnamon-crimson brown eyes and jet-black long silky hair.

At that moment I was stunned speechless …

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but I do own Vincent, Nadine, Orion, Kayla, Jeremiah, Annabel, Carmen, Anthony, Nathan … and I think someone else, but I forget too many to list, but I own them, not the Teen Titans, DC owns them … sadness …**

**A/N: I'm a baaaaaaaaaad little girl, lmao!! No, but seriously though I have to be honest here I think I sorta-kinda molded X's family to mirror that of my mother's where everyone of her siblings, including herself, were having kids at young ages. Of course my family isn't exactly one of the richest in the world (damn I wish it were though) we're constantly surrounded by bad influences. So, yeah, you can say X just got mixed in with the wrong crowd and found his 'calling' so to speak, but if you think about it with him having a large family might have something to do with his on-again-off-again relationship to the hero business. **

**But that's just me trying to reason this all out, you can call it what you will, but that's that … all in all I think this turned out to be one bittersweet chapter … now I'll leave you to wonder where exactly this story is going while I continue to write it up … and loathe the day my spring classes start … bah … **

**L8er daez**

**(ps: O.O holy crap Obama's finally being inaugurated on the day i've updated this story!! XDDD lol!!)**


	13. Off Guard

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Off Guard**

"Uncle Ray!" A bouncing ball of energy darted from behind Malchior and snapped me out of my trance when the ball of energy literally jumped into X's arms and giggled when X nearly lost his balance. The child, I assumed to be the six-year-old Carmen wrapped her arms around X and hugged him tightly, "Mmmm! I missed you! Thank you for coming to my party!"

He tried to play along by training his expression so not to alarm the child with a playful smirk, "Yeah, wouldn't dare miss it kid."

She pouted, "Then why did you miss my last birthday?"

I blinked when my peripheral caught the attention of Malchior casually strolling by us with his right hand tucked into his pants pocket and his hair pulled back into a loose dragon-tail. He never spared me a second glance, nothing, no form of acknowledgement whatsoever … I wasn't insulted, or hurt, I was still trying to get over the fact that after a year an a half ago we meet again, face to face. It felt strange, and though I know I don't love him, I felt happy just to see that he was still alive and well. With a deep breath and an even heavier exhale I let my shoulders finally relax and I recollected myself with a shake of my head.

I probably really scared X's family with my sensitivity to the supernatural, I had to get a hold of myself before I freaked them out any further and Orion, the brother I deduced was the no-nonsense no-bullshit type, lost his trust in me. I could already sense his suspicions and doubts, hell, while I stood beside X still entertaining Carmen I saw his dark amber eyes glaring at X, probably asking him what the hell was going on. It was either that, or he was blaming X for bringing more harm to the family. He already plainly disliked Malchior, if he knew I was a half-bred demon and Raven of the Teen Titans I bet my soul that all he'd see was the fact that I was a half-breed.

Close-minded.

Not exactly the type I'd fine running in X's pack, but there he sat and there was nothing I could do about it. Through the corner of my eye I glanced at X when I felt him look at me inquisitively over Carmen's head after he set her down and sent her to the table, he then straightened up with his hands in his pocket and with a shrug he asked, "You alright?"

I nodded, "I am, sorry for the scare."

He stood closer to me and in a lower tone so no one else could pick it up said, "I knew seeing Mal again would shock you, didn't think it do this to you."

I looked at him with a dry expression, "Shock wouldn't exactly be the word I'd use … more like …" I paused to trail my eyes to the dragon who I knew could hear every word we were saying despite having a pleasant conversation with the concerned Jeremiah who with the rest of his family were still giving me weary looks, I sighed, "… caught off guard."

He smirked handsomely and teased, "So you back on guard sunshine?"

I scoffed, "What's the use if all you're going to do is try to break it down again."

"Nah," he chuckled, "I'd _never _try to do that … however I will admit, seeing you _'off guard' _is funny as hell … and cute."

He added that last part while he was walking away from me and I wasn't able to see the expression on his face while I stood still for a moment to paint the big picture in my head. Here I was in the middle of the park with X's family celebrating a birthday for a six-year-old with Malchior and a beanie-baby in my pocket. Yeah … try to find the one thing that doesn't belong. I gritted my teeth, held myself together and followed in step after X to see what was going on and to let the family know I was alright … but I think that was a strong word to use. I wasn't alright … I wasn't entirely fine either … I was _numb? _I don't know, but Malchior's presences was no help … every time I stood by him a current of electricity jolted my entire body and it took everything in my power not to jump in shock.

Not to mention it was hard for me to look him directly in the eye whenever I felt him looking at me from across the way. _Stop being weird or someone is going to notice! _So far no one in the family, other than X, knew I had any relation to Malchior and I would like to keep it that way. It would be awkward for anyone to know that though I was friends with X for now, I had actually slept with his roommate a year or so ago. I don't know, the ring wasn't too melodic for me, so I figured keeping it a secret would be good for all of us.

So as best as I could, I tried to remain leveled and collected throughout the rest of the party straight up to the singing of Happy Birthday to Carmen and the slicing of the cake that was then passed around for everyone to share. Annabel handed me a slice and I thanked her as I took a courtesy bite and again swept my gaze around the party to then notice something I should have noticed a long time ago. There were no kids at a little girl's birthday party. Only Anthony and Nathan, but they were too young to play hide-and-seek with.

I stood by Annabel as she continued to hand out the cake and decided to inquire on the lack of children just to distract myself, "If you don't mind my asking, but, why isn't there any more kids here?"

Annabel giggled as she passed the brooding Orion his and Kayla's slice of cake and said, "Well, that's because I gave my girl an ultimatum. Its either have a party with just her family and then be able to go have all the fun in the world at The Pier tomorrow, or have a party with all her friends and skip out on the Pier. Right Carrie?"

Carmen, with a mouth full of cake and her cheek stained with frosting nodded vigorously. Annabel chastised her while she wiped the frosting off with a napkin, "Carrie, stop feeding your face, and stop playing with your food."

The little girl giggled and after she chewed and swallowed she hugged her mother and told her, "I love you mommy, with all my heart."

Annabel scooped her up in her arms and spun her around, "Ooo! I love you too my little punk!"

Touching, very heart-warming, I looked away and stuffed my mouth with a fork full of cake to keep myself from rolling my eyes. I pulled the fork from my mouth and began to chew as I noticed Vincent in my peripheral started to toss something up and down in his hand. It was a football and with a devious smirk he announced aloud, "Any one up for a game?"

Like a crack addicted cat (I blame the cake, it had _way _too much sugar in it) X hopped over the table (ignoring Nadine's protests) and snatched the ball from his brother's hands, "You're so on!"

Vincent ran after him while Jeremiah scowled with his nose in his tome obviously cursing his brothers' childishness to the darkest depths of Hell. Orion grumbled in his breath about being adopted and it made Kayla giggle as she placed a gentle hand on his and with a single loving look I could feel her pleading with him to enjoy himself. I watched them closely, fascinated with how deep their feelings for each other went and how impossibly entwined their auras were with one another. It was like a jumbled mess of strings and ribbons that chaotically danced in such a harmonic rhythm it seemed as if they were in perfect sync … like they were two souls in one.

Isn't that called soul-mates or something?

I shook my head and scoffed at myself as I took another bite of my cake, _Soul-mates … yeah, right … _through the corner of my eye I noticed Nadine sit beside Kayla while Orion stood up and jogged into the clearing to play with his brothers. Vincent had reared back to toss the ball at X, but cried out when Orion tackled him and swiped the ball from him, X stood in the distance cheering on Orion as the two eldest wrestled for control.

"Go on Uncle Miah," I glanced over my shoulder to see Carmen tugging on Jeremiah's shirt, trying to pull him on his feet to play with the rest of her uncles. Jeremiah scowled at her and swatted her hand from him.

"Quit it Carrie, I'm not playing, it's a mindless barbaric sport that holds no intellectual challenge whatsoever. In fact," he closed his book and patted the pouting Carmen on her head, and with as sweet a smile as he could muster said, "take it from me Carmen; your uncles are all idiots, except for me."

Faster than lightning Annabel snatched Jeremiah's book from his hand and smacked the back of his head with it, he yelped while she shook his book at him and scolded, "Reading may be good for you, but you have a sick obsession with these old useless things, now shut up and go play with them! You need to be kicked around every now and then Miah, it's good for you."

Jeremiah growled, "Said the sadistic older sister with malicious intent."

Annabel eyed him challengingly when Jeremiah matched her look with a glare of defiance that was diverted when a hand was placed on his shoulder; he looked down at the hand that was attached to none other than Malchior. I quickly took another bite of my cake to keep from saying anything and to focus my energy on not focusing on the dragon while I watched said dragon gesture to the field, "You can always prove your brothers wrong."

Jeremiah stared at him for a moment in thought, then smirked a smirk worthy of his older brothers and as his gaze shifted to the field, I narrowed my eyes and blinked in bewilderment when I thought I saw his dark-brown eyes turn yellow-gold. I lowered my plate and kept my eyes on him as he stood up and went to join his family in their little game. The moment he got in range of his brothers a gust of wind swirled outward from him and spread throughout the field. I had to turn around and set my piece of cake on the table in order to keep my hair from tangling all over my face.

When it was all over, I sighed and spun around when I heard Nadine complain, "Oh, Jesus Miah! Ya think you could tone it down a bit! Trying to eat here!"

Carmen, and Anthony both laughed and cheered in amusement, Carmen in particular shouted, "YAY!! GO Uncle Miah!!"

My jaw hit the floor when I saw Jeremiah encased in a bright red ball of pure raw energy that extended from within his being, but only I could see it, only I could feel it with my empathetic abilities. My only question now was where and how the hell did he pull so much energy practically out of thin air when I could sense nothing suspicious about him! The only explanation I could come up with had to deal with Malchior. No longer concerned with how to act around him I turned to the dragon who stared on in silent smugness and glanced at me when he sensed my confusion.

Discreetly he shrugged and since he was near me he said quietly, "I had nothing to do with that, he's been practicing magic far longer than I've been around."

I frowned, "But you've been teaching him more since then haven't you?"

Malchior shrugged, "I have not the patience to deal with his like … he's too arrogant to listen to what I have to say, unlike you." He paused to look down on me with a barely visible smirk on his handsome face and deep crimson red eyes. He chuckled and blinked away from me to see X and Vincent form a team against Orion and Jeremiah, but his attention was far from them as he sighed and whispered almost wistfully that sent an inviting chill down my spine, "You're good enough to be considered perfect."

I gulped and blinked away from him to make sure I still had control over my senses when I said, "I don't do flattery."

He chuckled again, "I know," he then leaned down to me and with a finger of his hooked under my chin he pulled the side of my face closer to his to whisper in my ear and lean his forehead against the side of my head, "Flattery doesn't suit you … so what are you doing here?"

He let my chin go as I turned my head to face him, yet he still didn't pull away and with our foreheads pressed together I lost all censorship and said the first thing that came to my lips so softly I was sure he didn't hear me, "I wanted to see you again."

"Did you now …" he responded then pulled away and stared me down with such a dark expression I was pretty sure he mentally cursed me to the ninth circle of Hell to suffer as Lucifer's chew toy. He even bared his fangs when he growled, "You're very cruel Raven … very cruel indeed."

Again my censorship failed me and I ended up saying the last thing I should have, because I knew I didn't mean it, "I'm sorry."

His growl turned into a snarl so faint and soft only I was able to hear it and when I did I couldn't help to flinch at the ferocity hidden behind it as his crimson eyes bore gaping holes into my soul and I stood there without objection. Did I deserve this? I don't know, some part of me thought I did … some part of me thought I didn't … some part of me just didn't know what to think. After all, he had a point, I was being cruel … I was the one who told him to leave and to never see me again, I told him to forget about me, and I even threatened to sic my team on him if he should so much as contact me. I pushed him away and now here I was with X rubbing it in his face and ignoring his existence as if everything that had ever transpired between us meant nothing.

It didn't mean anything.

It didn't … I know it didn't … I know … I knew it shouldn't … why was I doubting myself now?

"YO! Heads up!" I looked up, but a little too late, the football one of the Fox brothers had thrown was coming straight at me, I didn't react fast enough to catch or block it so I flinched and waited for impact. However, Malchior caught the ball before it ever touched me and I blinked up at him as he turned to the others and tossed the ball back at Vincent. Vincent smirked and thanked him with a node of his head, but then shouted, "You guys wanna play?"

On the side I heard Orion complain, but he was ignored by everyone else. I on the other hand shook my head and announced, "No thanks."

I waited for Malchior to say anything, but he didn't, as a matter of fact now that I glanced in his general direction I was shocked to see he was gone. He just, vanished; I whipped my head back and forth to scan the entire field in search of the dragon, perhaps he went to play? No, he wasn't with the Foxes, yet he wasn't anywhere near the table either. So where – then my peripheral caught a glimpse of his black hair disappearing into the bushes away from the party, tempted to follow him I paused when I sensed Carmen beside me. I looked down in time to see her tentatively grab my pants leg and tugged softly to ask curiously, "Do you like Uncle Scales?"

I could have cracked up laughing at Malchior's title for this little girl if I wasn't so focused on the dragon to begin with. So it took a moment for me to process her question before I muttered, "It's complicated."

"How so? You two met before?" Annabel suddenly spoke up, eyeing me suspiciously while she helped Nadine feed the two babies. Her brown eyes stared me down with a cold glare, I knew she obviously did not like how I arrived here with X, but seemed to be so into Malchior. I wasn't stupid, I knew they saw how we interacted and it was the last thing I wanted them to see, but they saw, and now I had to deal with all of them thinking ill of me. Which was strange since I usually don't care what others thought of me, why did X's family matter?

I tucked that question for later inquire, for now I sighed heavily and stepped aside from Carmen to follow Malchior after I answered Annabel's inquisition, "We fought each other twice before …"

I left it at that and darted into the bush after Malchior, Annabel can draw up her own conclusion, I just … I don't know why I was following him, I just needed to talk to him I guess. Rummaging through the leaves and the branches I stepped out into a clearing full of park-goers and dog-walkers, I stumbled onto a path and nearly ran into a pair of bikers who had to swerve to dodge me. One of them shouted at me angrily, but I ignored him as I crossed the bike-path and into the clearing still looking for Malchior only to find him slowly strolling across the grass with his hands in his pocket and his head bowed as if he were looking for something in the ground.

I took a step towards him, and as if he heard the grass bend under my weight, or smelt my approach through the wind carrying my sent he stopped dead and looked at me. His crimson red eyes beautifully shining the color of a ruby-jewel under the sunlight, very similar to how X's golden eyes shined with the right angle of light, like rare treasures. I stayed perfectly still, not sure if I should go to him, I still didn't know what to say, or why I wanted to speak with him to begin with. I just felt like I owed him something, something other than an empty apology that I obviously didn't mean back at the party.

Did he want me around?

He made no attempt to beckon me to him, but neither did he attempt to shoo me away either.

What felt like hours we stood at a stalemate, turned out to only be a few seconds before he finally looked away from me, but he didn't move an inch from his spot in the clearing. I bit down on my lower lip and approached him, I figured if he didn't want me around he'd have chased me away eons ago. So I'll play it by sense, if I felt things were going wrong I'll leave him be, otherwise I wanted to know what's been going on with him. Was that it? I was just curious about what he's been doing all these months? I just wanted to know if he's gotten along all right? Was that just it?

I guess it was.

Before long I finally found myself standing beside him, but with considerable distance between us, with my hands in tight fists at my side I tried not to fidget nervously when he looked up from the grass and glanced around the park. Yet, he didn't care, I know he didn't care, I could feel his utter distaste and disinterest for his surroundings when he was more interested in me, unfortunately. He just seemed to be distracting himself, I wonder why, so without thinking (I seem to be doing that a lot lately), I asked, "Why are you standing here?"

"There are people here." Simple, straight to the point, no wonder he and X got a long just great, but it wasn't enough, as a matter of fact it confused me.

"… People?"

He then swung his head around to stare me down, I blinked and nearly couldn't hold his intense gaze, it gave me a run for my money that's for sure, but I managed, and he replied, "Witnesses my dear …"

_Witnesses …? _I thought, still slightly confused, and I glanced around the park to see for myself what he meant by witnesses. There was no one watching us, in fact no one cared about us, but there were a lot of people … children with their parents playing catch, couples having a picnic, families biking through the path, kids hanging-out, security-guards on horses. There were a lot of people, a lot of people that didn't care … so what did he mean by – I stopped myself when I realized just what he was doing. My gaze swung back to the security-guards idly chatting about nothing and laughing at some stupid joke that was probably something only they knew about and I gulped.

Witnesses, people who didn't care about who or what we were, but people who were law-biding citizens that would grow concerned if something seemed out of the ordinary. X's family … they were a family that seemed to keep everything to themselves. Involving authorities would be the last thing they'd do if this little discussion Malchior and I were having went wrong, looking up at the dragon and staring into his narrowed crimson-eyes I nodded in understanding. Whether he was doing this more for himself or to protect me (that thought was a long shot), I knew I was still walking on eggshells either way.

I frowned, "I see, self-control was never one of your strong points, was it?"

He slowly blinked his crimson eyes away from me and with a chuckle he walked away, and I followed in step as he lead me through the park full of people, full of witnesses while I listened to his reply, "You would know me better than most …"

I responded in kind, not exactly knowing where all this was going, but going along with it for now, "I suppose."

"How long has it been?"

"…"

He glanced at me when I didn't reply and arched a brow in question, "Raven?"

I sighed, "A year plus … give or take a month or two …"

"Ah, does not feel so."

"Immortality can do that to you. Life ends in the blink of an eye."

He nodded, "True, but what makes you think I'm immortal? I live long, yes, but I am no more immortal than you."

I was going to let this play out and didn't say anything.

He want on, as predicted, "I am born of Earth and Fire, nature and reason deems my death absolute, I will die to become once again apart of the Earth so why would you call me immortal? Unless you depicted me as a powerful being equal to that of a God… am I your God?"

I rolled my eyes, _Even after all these months he still loves to hear himself talk … _"Don't flatter yourself."

"Wouldn't dream," he said with a chuckle while we still walked aimlessly around the park, however, I neglected to notice we strayed from our witnesses into another nearly isolated area of the park close to a pond.

I should have paid attention, but since I didn't I went on a head to say with a sneer, "Your mood seems to have lightened."

I took another step towards the pond and towards a group of kids who were racing boats, back into the view of our witnesses, but he gently wrapped his fingers around my elbow and pulled me back. It wasn't forceful, or threatening, but when he swung me around and pinned me against the nearby artificially planted boulder and trapped me within his makeshift cage with his palms placed flat on the boulder on either side of me I knew I wasn't going anywhere. He may not have used force, but the intimidation and the tension was there, especially when he pressed his forehead against mine again. I made sure not to move a single muscle as he growled, "The term _mood _is relative, Raven, why don't you try to be a little more specific … tell me … what am I _feeling _right now."

I gulped when my empathetic powers kicked in and I was flooded with his assaulting emotions running rampant, all of them strong and overpowering, but the one that stood out I whispered, "… Frustration."

He scoffed and bared his fangs as he pressed his forehead harder against me to emphasize his point, "Think less human and more primal."

I tumbled that powerful emotion of frustration around my head for a few moments, played with it, toyed with it, trembled at how powerful the feeling was and gulped when I reached a stunning conclusion, "… Starving …"

"Yes, I may not be immortal, but I am no human, I do not change _moods _on a whim and I do not take life for granted, so do not take my _mood _so lightly. Assumptions are what brought you here to begin with, so you should do well not to assume what could very well earn you your death."

I scowled, "In saying that you've contradicted yourself, apparently, I don't know you as well as you thought I did."

"Then allow for the contradiction to stand in place of my earlier statement and thus ultimately prove me right." He sighed and bowed his head from me to stare at nothing while he shifted his stance, but never freed me from his cage as he said, "Long road to ruin, love. We can argue over who knows what and by what degree all day to eternity, but the point is …" he paused and I again held perfectly still when he brought a hand up to lightly brush the tips of his fingers down the side of my face over the flesh of my neck. I shuddered at the touch, and bit down on my lower lip when the memory of what this hand had done to me and made me do began to replay itself over and over again in my head against my will.

My breathing quickened when in his eyes I saw he was going over the exact same thing in his mind as he trailed his hand down from my neck to my chest to press his palm flat over my heart to feel my heartbeat. He concentrated on it, his crimson eyes flashed in fascination when he felt its increase in speed and suddenly it felt like we just weren't close enough. Even though, to any onlooker (if anyone were to find us that is) we looked close enough to look like we are engaged in lewd and inappropriate behavior. His breath mingled with mine as his lips hovered an aching inch from my lips; he wasn't hesitant … and neither was I … we both wanted it; we wanted it so _bad _that it hurt.

His hand on my heart trailed down between the valley of my breasts and I felt the tips of his talons graze over my abdomen just before his large hand circled around my waist and he pulled me so I was flushed against his rock-solid body. I welcomed the warmth; he felt so familiar … so hot … so _inhuman _the demon in me liked it and wanted so much more, then in a low growl that sounded almost like he was begging me permission he said, "… I've missed you so much …"

Reality came crashing down on me, and the realization of the overall impact of our actions would be if I allowed this to continue on made my heart sink.

Damn it all …

I prayed he wouldn't have said that.

I didn't want him to.

"Malchior …" I shook my head and put a hand on his chest to push him away, the first form of resistance that snapped him out of his desire to have me once more and his eyes hardened when he met my stern violet gaze, "… _don't."_

Whether it be my resistance, or the sureness in my eyes, his low growl deepened and the hand on my waist slid off to once again aid in trapping me in his cage and I pulled my hand from him as he again shifted his stance to tower over me as he said, "Why not? Why must I be alienated from you while Drake Fox can't be away from you for more than a day?"

Damn, I knew he was going to go there.

I knew, yet I still had no response to it, simply because I still didn't know why myself.

I've been trying to figure that out for the passed six months, and though I've discovered so much of him and he of me, I seem to be drifting further away from the answers while I accumulated more questions. I really did want to answer Malchior, I really did, but what was I going to say? _'I don't know.'? _Yeah, that'll satisfy him … I owed him an answer … and it killed me to know I didn't have any to give.

With a frustrated huff I opened my mouth in response, but as my eyes happened to glance over his shoulder I stilled and shut my mouth when I spotted the last person I expected to see around here without her boyfriend. Her familiar blond-hair wafted in the breeze, and her dark navy-blue eyes stared in wide-eyed shock while her mouth fell to represent the distinct shape of an _'O'. _Malchior, upon noticing my distraction looked over his shoulder in time to see Terra jump and hide behind a nearby tree in embarrassment or disbelief, either which didn't matter to me in the least.

I bowed my head, and closed my eyes while I muttered softly in frustration, "Great … now how am I suppose to explain this?"

"Friend of yours then?"

I nodded no use in hiding it, "She's Terra, the geomancer I've told you about."

"So I see."

I sensed his hesitation and I looked up at him to reassure him, why? I don't know, but I did, "You're safe, she doesn't know about you … but if she's here without Beast Boy could only mean I have to go."

He tilted his head to the side and blinked and under different circumstances I would have thought it was cute to see him perplexed (how often do I see Malchior perplexed: _never), _"You sound reluctant about that fact."

"I am …" I slouched my shoulders and leaned against the boulder when I felt the world weigh heavy on my shoulders again, my argument with Robin came rushing back to me, and the discord I felt within myself hit me all at once as I gulped, "… Malchior, I don't … I don't think I ever … want to go ba –"

A finger against my lips silenced me and I looked up at the dragon to see him staring down at me with an odd expression I couldn't determine … it was something akin to worry and disappointment with a dash of hope. I didn't understand it, even his words caught me totally off guard, "Before you finish that sentence you should go and see what she wants first … and then think over your words carefully …"

"…" Speechless.

That's all I was: Speechless.

Did he … did he understand me?

Could he see what I am going through?

I stared at him in awe and confusion while he finally freed me from his cage and stepped aside with a hand held out as a gesture to where Terra was probably still hiding, "Don't want to keep your friend waiting now …"

I owed him something … that's all that kept repeating in my mind.

I owed him something … an explanation? An apology? Reassurance? Closure?

I owed him something … but it wasn't _just _something, I owed him _a lot._

I stepped forward towards Terra, but as I passed him I brushed my hand against his and took it into my grasp, he returned the gesture with a tight grasp of his own while I tipped my head to him and whispered the one thing I suddenly came to realize despite my mental protest. I gulped and finally, I admitted while looking up into his crimson eyes, "I missed you too …"

A slow smug smirk found its way on his lips as he brought my hand up to his lips to press a light kiss on it then said, "I'll let the Foxes know you had to leave early."

He was relieved.

He didn't have to say it, he didn't even have to show me through his aura, I could see it in his eyes, he was relieved to know I haven't completely forgotten about him. I guess … that's what he wanted from me, to know that he wasn't forgotten. With that he let my hand go and when I turned to confront Terra I felt him vanish from existence, I sighed heavily and ran my hand through my hair in thought, _What happens now …?_

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, DC does, Vincent, Nadine, Orion, Kayla, Annabel, Jeremiah, Anthony, Nathan, Carmen, and the name Drake Fox belong to ME, not M.E., ME not YOU, ME, lol …**

**A/N: Hot-damn I had hella fun writing this chapter … too much fun mi thinks … o.O … oh well … G.A.S.P. GASP!! Dun, dun, dun … Terra … go figure she'd be the one to ruin all the fun XDD. Well, see yall in the next chapter, comment, questions, reviews, feedback all welcome until then.**

**L8er daez!**


	14. The Good Samaritan

**Long Road to Ruin**

**The Good Samaritan**

I'm starting to notice a pattern here ever since I've become _'friends' _with X, it seems as if one catastrophe happens right after the other. Okay, so catastrophe might be a strong word to use, but the point I am trying to make is I just can't seem to catch a damn break. First, there was the Blackfire incident, then were the talks and fight I had with X, afterwards I discover X lives with Malchior and has not one, not two, but _three _brothers and a sister. I then have a talk with Malchior only to end in a cliffhanger that suspends me thousands of feet off the ground of sanity with no clue just where the hell I'll end up if I happen to let go and let fate decide my destiny.

Now, still stuck on this cliffhanger I stepped out of the trees and back into view of the supposed witnesses that were believed to be Malchior's lack of self-control deterrents. A lot of help they were when we ended up in a shady, scarcely populated area of the park anyway, which just so happens to be the one place the last Titan I expected to find me, _found _me. If I believed in lady-luck I'd be seriously doubting her powers right about now, but since I don't I stepped out of the shade and into the sun with squinting eyes and a scowl on my face.

Terra, the arguably powerful geomancer that in appearance seemed to be the frailest of the team with the uncanny ability to blend perfectly in a crowd of normal people, as a matter of fact without our powers I can honestly say I can thoroughly kick her ass. Her yellow-blonde hair fluttered when a strong gust of wind blew from behind her and she flinched when her hair was picked up and thrown about her head. I patiently waited for her to get it under control to once again focus her deep anxious blue eyes on me; she licked her lips and attempted to play this off with a weak smile that was demolished when I narrowed my eyes on her.

She saw me with Malchior, I don't know how much she knows about Malchior, or even if any of the others on our team told her about him or what he looked like, but I can't take that risk. For all I knew I've been under surveillance the entire time I've arrived at the park with X, or as she knew him as _Dodger Drayton. _There was no telling what she knew, so I kept my words short, simple, and to the point, it shouldn't take long before I triggered her mouth and she ran off with it. Terra, from what I've gathered in the years we've been working together had the tendency to be a little too talkative for her own good … probably one of the reasons why Robin likes to keep her out of the interrogation chambers, that and she had a short trigger fuse.

A minute passed and not a single word was spoken, I slowly took in a deep intake of air to keep my patience under wraps, let her speak first, and she did with that weak hesitant smile still on her face, "Uh … he-hey Raven …"

I stared her down, long and hard, trying to figure out where she was going to take this. For a fact I knew she was embarrassed she caught Malchior and me together doing God-knows-what hidden in the darkness away from prying eyes. I'll let her draw up her own conclusions, but for now I decided to play this nonchalantly, I turned away from her and walked into the field towards the winding path that cut through the park. I cut to the chase, with what I already knew to be an indisputable fact, "What does he want?"

She followed in stride, but looked up at me with a questioning expression, "_'He?'"_

I rolled my eyes, _Please don't play stupid, _I called her on it, "Robin. I assume you're not just here for a casual stroll in the park without Beast Boy; Robin had to have sent you to look for me. So I'll ask again, what does he want?"

She scoffed, "Yeah, like you've got it all figured out. FYI: Robin didn't send me; as a matter of fact I don't think he cares where you are so long as you come back to the Tower and continue doing your job."

I stopped, I turned, I tilted my head, I arched a brow, and I stared at her for a second when what she said didn't click in my head. Robin didn't send her? He doesn't care? What the hell was that all about?! I was wrong? I can't be wrong … it didn't make sense, it's not like I was counting on Robin to place me under surveillance, I just figured he'd do something like that with my odd behavior. This was bizarre, Malchior was right; my assumptions are going to get me in a helluva lot of trouble one of these days if I'm not careful.

So I stuck to my original plan and kept my mouth shut to let Terra do all the talking and she didn't seem to mind much when she shrugged and said, "He never flips out when you miss assignments, he doesn't ask where you're going or where you're at, _ever. _It's like he's giving you some kind of special treatment and I don't think it's fair." She crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged again as she added, quite smug about herself, "So I decided to do a little investigating to see what's been really going on between you two."

I blinked, then blinked again, and slowly shook my head in disbelief.

Am I in some weird dream?

Did I fall into a rabbit whole somewhere that I wasn't aware of?

Was I hit too hard on the head?

Or was this some kind of joke that I just wasn't getting?

I tried to refrain from looking like a lost idiot as I stared into Terra's navy blue eyes, blinked, and then slowly tried to make sense of what had just come out of her mouth, "An investigation? You conducted an investigation? On me?"

She narrowed her eyes and with a shrug she asked, "Yeah, is it so hard to believe?"

"Yes, actually, it is. Who put you up to this?"

Terra scowled, obviously insulted that I didn't expect her to be smart enough to actually pull off a stunt as ambitious as privately investigating me and in all honesty I can't wrap my mind around it. Terra? The girl susceptible to powerful influences able to fly under my radar undetected and able to get thus far … I don't know if _I _should be the one insulted here not her. No, she shouldn't be insulted, only because it was brilliant … of course I wouldn't expect Terra to investigate me … she didn't like me, she didn't like being around me, she didn't like my attitude, she just _didn't like me _and the feeling was mutual. I always thought she was too weak for the job, too vulnerable and insecure about what others thought of her to be able to focus long enough to get through an assignment.

Then this happens … either _I'm _getting sloppy, or her trainings finally paying off, but it didn't matter anymore. What did matter were the next string of words that came out of her mouth and caught my immediate attention, still with a scowl on her pretty face she growled, "This isn't a joke Raven. I knew something's been goin' down since you started to leave the Tower and Robin never bothered to say anything about it. It doesn't take a shrink to notice Robin acting out of character ya know."

Oh. My. God.

She was right, Robin was black and white he had an obsessive routine that the world could set their clocks to. For him to make an exception to a rule in his rule book that he might as well call his bible because he was so strict about its followings would be cause for some attention, but for Terra to notice it, point it out, and make a connect to me was impressive. Maybe the others noticed his odd behavior around me too, but since they knew about our bond it probably didn't cross their minds that whatever could be happening was serious enough to look into, Terra was biased, she didn't know about that little tidbit between Robin and I.

Inwardly, I bite down on my lower lip and kept myself from physically gulping when I realized that I was probably so screwed for having underestimated the blonde-geomancer. I should have been more careful … I should have known I was missing something. So I kept quiet, I didn't say anything, I was honestly too afraid to now, she had to do all the talking, I had to know how much she knew. So with a flip of her blonde hair she sighed heavily and frowned at me, "You know … at first I thought there was something going on between the two of you, like you were seeing each other behind Starfire's back or something, but then that little incident at the Med-Bay happened and I realized that the only reason why Robin was acting weird was because of you when he probably found out about your little secret."

"…"

She narrowed her eyes on me and it took everything within my power not to blink away when I felt this was it. This was the end, all she had to do was say it to my face, call me on my crimes and that was it … game over. She prepared to do so as she stepped up to my face and with us being the same height stared me dead center in my eyes with her dark navy baby-blues and she said with great conviction, "You've been dating civilian guys on the down-low haven't you?"

"…" I blinked.

"…" she waited for a reply with a smug gleam in her eyes, like she caught me red-handed.

"…" I tilted my head and arched a brow in question then darted my eyes from left to right wondering when the real point would come to light, when the other Titans on our squad would gather around to lock me up and throw away the key. I waited … but nothing … nothing happened and I was left with the conclusion that of all the convictions Terra could come up with she chose to believe I was _dating_ civilians?

I had to keep myself from laughing when I realized she made this too easy for me.

Instead I gulped and straightened up then shrugged to respond in kind, "And if I have? What's the crime in that?"

She pulled back and with a shake of her head and another shrug of her shoulders she cocked her hip to the side and propped her hand on it, "Nothing, which is what confuses the hell out of me. How come you're keeping it a secret? It's not like anyone in the Tower is going to condemn you for it … as far as I know Robin already knows about what you've been up to and personally, I think it's good for you to have a boyfriend."

"You would," I said with a scoff and a roll of my eyes as I turned my back on her to continue on my way through the park.

Terra followed in step beside me and with a glare asked suspiciously, "What's that suppose to mean?"

I sighed heavily and shook my head to dismiss it, "Nothing."

"Hey …" she put a had on my arm which stopped us dead and forced me to face her as she looked at me with one of her most sincerest of expressions and smiled supportively, "… I know we're not the best of friends, hell you may not even think of me as a friend, but … whatever it is you're going through, you know you can talk to me about it." She blinked and chuckled nervously as she rubbed the back of her neck and added, "Actually, you can talk to everyone in the Tower and they won't judge you no matter what it may be … just thought you'd like to know."

Just like that, she walked away and left me floored.

She cared … after everything that's happened, after everything I put her through, after everything _she _put me through … she cared.

She didn't like me.

But she cared.

And … she trusted me …

Left in that park I closed my eyes and bowed my head with another heavy sigh.

What am I going to do now?

--

'_Welcome back …' he said with a smile on his face as I entered the Ops Room with Terra. I looked down at him, my leader, in the kitchen with the paper in his hands reading the headlines, then swept my eyes across the room to notice everyone else with their eyes on him and me, the air stood still and it felt as if they were waiting … waiting for something to happen. Another argument maybe? I doubt that'll be happening any time soon, I didn't want it to happen any time soon, so I did the only thing I thought was right to do._

_From the steps I crossed the Ops Room into the kitchen to stand before Robin, his masked eyes narrowed on me and he folded his paper to hear what I had to say, it wasn't much, but I had to say it. I owed him as much since I knew I couldn't say everything that I should tell him, tell everyone in the Ops Room actually … talking was never one of my strong points, neither was sharing secrets. So in a quiet tone, only loud enough for him to hear I said softly, 'I'm sorry … for yelling at you earlier, it … it was uncalled for … I … I shouldn't have, I had no –'_

'_It's alright,' he interjected with a shrug, 'I'm glad you did, you looked like you needed to get something off your chest … I'd rather have you scream at me than to hold it in anyway …'_

_I gulped and looked away from his sincere face, from his genuine smile, and from his honest heart that believed and trusted in me so fully it made me feel so ashamed for keeping secrets. I wanted to tell him, so badly, what I've been really up to, what's been really happening to me, but I couldn't … I cared about him and everyone here too much to selflessly give it all up in the righteous act of telling them the truth. I cared enough to lie to them, to keep them from my betrayal, from the heartache of knowing I wasn't as honest with them as they were with me. I wanted them for myself … and I cared about X and Malchior too much to destroy the lives they had created for themselves._

_I should be thrown in prison … or buried alive with all my secrets._

_X may be a criminal, but at least he flaunts it with pride._

_I hid away in the shadows and pretended I wasn't doing anything wrong._

_I was the worse kind of criminal … and yet here I stand, in front of Robin, before my leader, with a stoic expression and a dry shrug, 'Well, if going deaf is your aim than I'll be happy to scream at you again.'_

_He chuckled at the lame rebuke and opened up his newspaper, 'Yeah, well, I'm here twenty-four seven if you need me.'_

"_If you need me," he says, and I don't bother to comment, I instead turned my back and walked away, back to my room to sulk and ponder._

_Where's the justice in this?_

--

Yes indeed, I pondered as I replayed that memory of three days ago over and over again in my head while I walked aimlessly around the same neighborhood I met X in and where we usually hangout whenever we get the chance. Late at night, when the streetlights were on, and the shadows and darkness ruled, I walked, and pondered, _Where is the justice in this? _What was I (for once) doing right that seemed to keep me out of the slammer for my wretched crime? What was the punishment for a lying cheat?

What indeed?

Nibbling on the inside of my lower lip, I looked up and glanced around the deserted streets, an automatic reaction when I realized I was still alone … and I couldn't find X … if he didn't appear this night, it'll be the third night since his niece's birthday he's blown me off and I was already feeling abandoned. Did he forget about me already? Was he still going to quit me cold-turkey after saying he would still stick around? Should I even be surprised he'd blow me off? He's already proven he'd set me up and lead me into an ambush without a second thought, why would leaving me all by my lonesome be any different?

_Or he's jealous … _I considered with a heavy sigh when _his_ name popped into my head again, _Malchior … _X did see the way we interacted with one another back at Carmen's party without shame or hesitation. I wouldn't be surprised if he thought he held no competition against the dragon, which would just be stupid considering the fact I wasn't interested in a courtship right now. At least an intimate _'I-love-you' _type of relationship and with my current state I don't think getting into a relationship would be the smartest thing to do.

Again, I began to nibble on the inside of my lower lip while I stuffed my thumbs into the front hem of my low-rise jeans and with my head bowed again to stare at the ground I let the tendrils of my long hair pulled up in a messy-bun frame the sides of my face. My feet moved on their own, leading me wherever in a slow shuffled walk that held no purpose whatsoever. I pictured myself to be one pathetic sight … a lonely girl, on a lonely sidewalk, by herself, and all alone … hmm, maybe not pathetic … stupid would be the right word.

I was pretty much easy-pickings for the average perv on the streets, but this was a minor concern, I can handle myself against those types. No, what I was concerned about were the Good Samaritans that thought they would do me a favor by joining my company and _'protecting' _me from the weirdos, I chuckled when a thought struck me, _Good Samaritan … didn't X say something like that before …? _

"What's so funny?"

I stopped and spun around when that familiar voice struck me so suddenly it sent a startled jolt down my spine and I gasped when I saw him morph out of the shadows and his gleaming crimson eyes locked on me with a sly grin on his lips. With my heart still racing from the shock, and my mind still trying to process what was going on I whispered his name to confirm his existence, "Malchior …"

His grin only grew as he stepped into the light of the same streetlight I stood under and with a painful three feet of distance between us he nodded in greeting, "Good to see you again love."

"Right …" I breathed and glanced around in search of X, but he was nowhere in sight, so I asked uneasily, "… um, where's X?"

"Busy, I vaguely recall him muttering something about Annabel needing his assistance," he answered so curtly it left me wondering if I should feel disappointed, or suspicious, then he chuckled and from his pants pocket he pulled out a small device better known as a cell-phone, but what Malchior would be doing with it went beyond me. "Relax love; you can even call him to ask of his whereabouts, I have his number on speed-dial."

'_I have his number on speed-dail' _I repeated that in my head and blinked, something about that didn't click in my head, it didn't make sense and so I called him on it, "You own a cell-phone?"

He nodded, "It took some getting use to, but after destroying my third one I think I've grasped the concept of such an odd device … these humans are industrious creatures, the things they've come up with … simply amazing actually."

I watched him flip the cell in the air and let it fall back into his clawed grasp to once again disappear into his pocket and I blinked then shook my head. The thought of Malchior fitting into this technical-civilization struck me as odd and honestly unbelievable, but who was I to judge? I sighed and decided to let it go, if Malchior knew how to work a cell-phone than good for him, but the one thing I really wanted to know was why he was here … or even how he found me. It is possible that X probably spoke of me to him and let it slip about our usual haunts, or it was possible that my first assumption on X's dwelling was right and he did live in this neighborhood, but I knew those answers didn't answer the _why _factor of the equation.

With his crimson eyes he looked at me and arched a brow in question, "What is the matter?"

I frowned and shrugged, "Just curious to know why you're here …"

He blinked and his brow went even further up his forehead till he looked perplexed, again, "We finally get to see each other after all these months and you want to know why I am here? Do I really need a reason?"

"… I … don't suppose, but how did you know where I was?"

"I live with Drake Fox, Raven; you don't think I'll get the location of where you two usually go, out of him sooner or later?"

"Yeah, but why now? I've been walking around here for three nights already and X has not shown up since Carmen's birthday, then suddenly you appear?"

A frown found its way on his lips when he concluded, "You don't trust me."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "One night with you won't change what I think of you, and neither will our prior conversation."

"What a pity," he looked to the ground as an awkward silence befell us and I watched his eyes shift to his left and with a heavy sigh he nodded, "well then, I'll take my leave seeing as you most obviously wish to be alone."

I groaned and held out my hand to stop him just as he pivoted on his left foot to turn his back and leave me. With my hand on his shoulder he glanced down at me with a cocked brow as I glared up at him in exasperation, "Don't do that."

He blinked, and asked perplexed, again, "Do what?"

"Act like a whining puppy that's been accidently kicked by its master."

He growled, "And clarify for me just who the whining puppy is in this metaphor?"

I slid my hand off his shoulder and shook my head tiredly, "You know what I mean."

I bowed my head and brought a hand up to massage the bridge of my nose in order to help dispel the exhaustion that threatened to take over my body and cloud my mind with desires of some much needed sleep that I've been painfully lacking in. With my eyes closed I breathed in deeply, but then slowly exhaled when I felt Malchior slide his long slender fingers over my cheek till his palm was pressed against the side of my face and he tilted my head up to look at him. I blinked my eyes open and dropped my arm to my side in defeat, there was no point in pretending I wasn't tired, I was and Malchior could see it. In his crimson eyes I saw his concern and he tipped his head forward to whisper softly, "You look ready to fall over in exhaustion."

His warm breath tickled my flesh and sent a chill through my body which then triggered an aching itch within me that I couldn't ignore, but had to endure. So I held my breath and tried not to take in his scent as I bowed my head away from him and admitted, "I haven't been sleeping much … and I'm tired."

I didn't see it, but I could feel him frowning in disapproval, I chanced a glance up through my hair to see him staring at me with that frown, but with something else in his eyes, contemplation, he was thinking of something. Of what I hadn't the foggiest, but as I brought a hand up to slide his hand off my face he jerked his hand away from me so suddenly it startled me, it was as if I set him on fire and he all but screamed in pain. Concerned I looked up at him anxiously, wondering what I had done to set him off, but he seemed fine, as a matter of fact he was smirking at me.

Cautiously, I took a step back not sure I liked the look he was giving me; I narrowed my eyes and warningly chided, "Malchior …"

I didn't know what happened or what hit me till I was suddenly suspended hundreds of feet in the air feeling the moisture and smelling the coming rain within the clouds high above Jump City. Malchior, being the ass that he was had went from zero to a blur in no less than a millisecond flat clutching me so tightly to his chest it felt like he'd crush me sooner than when he got to his destination. That's to say _if _he had a set destination; because no sooner had we been bounding from one rooftop to the other had he flung me so high into the sky I forgot how to activate my powers of flight.

My stomach did flips and twisted itself into knots when I reached the peak of my upward travel then gravity kicked in and physics 101: whatever goes up, must come down. It felt like I was falling so far and so fast the wind ripped out a scream which had been caught in my throat all this time and stole it away from me as I plummeted to the unforgiving earth below. Malchior was no where in sight and I couldn't concentrate long enough to correct myself in mid-fall, my heart raced, my breathing hitched, and all my senses were jammed. I recognized this feeling: Panic. I was panicking, I needed to get myself under control and fast or I was going to be nothing but a red smear on the pavement.

Yet, just as I established reason back into my mind and corrected my fall so I was rocketing down to the city head first I caught sight of a giant black shadow in my right peripheral. I couldn't make it out, not at the speed I and It were going, before I knew it that shadow swooped down so it was under me and a giant bird-like talon snatched me right out of the sky. I yelped when I felt the whiplash of my uncontrolled speed jerk to an almost painful halt; it was the equivalent of flying down the freeway at 80 mph then suddenly slam on the break to cruise at a slow, but controlled 15 mph. I could feel myself still falling, but I was in more control, or rather the morphed Malchior was in control, with me in his talon and his giant wings flapping at a rhythmic beat I felt my heart slow to match the beat.

However, my breathing was still slightly labored and my entire body was trembling, but through my shock I shouted over the roaring winds, "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

He looked at me with his glowing scarlet eyes and even with his bird-like bill and jagged sharp teeth he smirked a reptilian smirk and said within my head, _"You'll see."_

He then turned over his giant talon and just as I felt his grip loosen I knew what he wanted and immediately I got a hold of my trembling body so I could concentrate on flight when I shot out of his hand and flipped over his body because he was going too fast for me to keep up. Now levitating hundreds of feet off the city, I watched Malchior dip down, and throw his body into an impressive tumble to redirect his path to come back for me. I turned away from him and pushed myself forward as hard and as fast as I could to match his speed as he caught up to me with relative ease, but again swooped in below me and flattened out his wings so he suspended himself in a gentle glide. Confused, I hovered over him as he looked over his back and snorted in persistence.

It took me a moment to understand that he wanted me to ride on his back, but even when I realized it I was hesitant to do so, simply because I've never done this sort of thing before, but I wasn't going to contemplate it this high off the ground. Besides, if anything bad should happen I was now stable enough to catch myself before I panicked ever again. So with all things considered I flew closer to him till my body was parallel to his and I reached out a hand to touch the back of his neck. I managed to grab a hold of one of his scales and with it I pulled myself closer till I was straddling his back on the juncture between his shoulders just before his long neck connected with the rest of his body and my power of flight diminished.

I gasped when I didn't find my balance quick enough and nearly flew off when I sat up too straight, yet, by some miracle I managed to lean forward to duck my upper body down till I was all but laying flat on his back. I cringed and clutched his scales to keep myself from falling off again. Situated and barely comfortable I felt the muscles under me flex and roll as he flapped his wings to gain altitude and speed.

Surprisingly, it wasn't as violent or rough as I thought it would be to ride on the back of a dragon … it was actually pretty soothing. The beating wings, the cool air rolling around me, the occasional feeling of being rocked up and down with every flap of his wings. I all but curled on my side when I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the ride, where he was taking me, what he was up to was all put out of my mind. This weightless feeling was too good to be true, I could be dreaming, and this in-denial sense of idealism was good enough for me for now … I didn't want to think or contradict myself anymore.

I was tired.

Was it too much to ask for a break?

So I drifted to sleep on Malchior's back, and lost track of time.

I had no idea how long I've been out, or even where he took me, but when I heard my communicator go off I knew the break was over, I groaned and slowly opened my eyes expecting to see clouds and blue skies. Well, I saw blue skies alright … but I wasn't in the air or in the clouds, I was grounded … literally, I woke up feeling the solid grassy ground beneath me and a dark-gray coat large enough to cover my entire body draped over me like a blanket. I propped myself on my elbow and with squinting eyes hurting from the sun my sense of hearing and smell took over. First, I heard the ocean, waves crashing against a rock face, and I could smell the ocean spray with every violent crash.

Yet, I only grew even more confused when the constant ringing of my communicator wouldn't shut up, so I looked down and patted my pockets for my clipped on com-link, but instead found it in the grass I had been sleeping on. I plunked it from the ground and while rubbing my eyes from its sleepiness I flipped it open and took a second to read the message, _Trouble, _was the first word that came to mind when I saw the phrase: _Titan Assistance Required_ flashing red. I then snapped it shut and sighed heavily as I again scanned my surroundings inwardly asking myself,_ Where am I …? _

On a cliff, apparently, I answered myself when I saw Titan Tower in the far off distance towards my right while laid out before me was a perfect horizon where the darkest-blue of the ocean kissed the lightest-blue of the skies littered with the whitest-fluffy clouds. A true-blue _happy place, _I sighed again and picked up the mysterious coat that blanketed me. I gave it an odd look then froze when I remembered Malchior had been wearing this same exact coat last-night or, correction, this _is _his coat, his scent was still on it, but where was he?

That's when I attempted to turn my head at a 180 degree angle to search the woods that would be behind me, but then my breath caught in my throat when I felt slithering strong arms snake around my waist that then pulled me back. In one fluid motion my back was pressed flush against Malchior's chest and I was comfortably tucked between his legs with his chin resting on my shoulder. On reflex I breathed in deeply when he did and slowly exhaled in perfect sync trying to match my heartbeat with his. So warm, I felt so warm I could close my eyes and sit here with him for the rest of the cool morning-light.

With his chin still on my shoulder, his mouth so close to my ear, he whispered, "Sleep well?"

I was still trying to get over how comfortable being back in his arms felt, I almost couldn't comprehend the question, but once the words sank in I nodded slowly, leisurely, as if I had all the time in the world to sit and relax. He again whispered in my ear, his voice so melodic and harmonic it felt as if he was whispering a lullaby into my ear, my own personal lullaby, when really he was just filling in the blanks, "You were fast asleep throughout the entire night and most of the morning … it's now high-noon."

High-noon … wow, I slept that long?

I was away from the Tower for that long?

I blinked when it hit me; _I was away from the Tower for THAT long!! _I nearly jumped out of his arms when the call on my T-com also rushed back to me and the soothing tranquility I was experiencing was replaced with a great sense of urgency. Malchior must have felt the change in my aura for he lifted his chin from my shoulder and tilted his head to stare at me curiously and asked, "Is everything alright?"

I sighed heavily and shook my head then whispered reluctantly, "I have to go … my team needs me."

"… Oh … I figured the ringing was just an alarm to wake you."

"No, it's a call for back-up …" I leaned forward and crawled away from his warm embrace to then bring myself back on my feet. I turned to face Malchior as he stood up and towered over my shrimpy height of 5"2' nothing, he stared down at me patiently as I dusted my hands trying to avoid his piercing gaze that seemed to expect something of me. Like a puppy that wanted some attention from its master, or a child that wished to be acknowledged for his accomplishments … only he didn't look desperate at all.

Malchior?

Desperate?

That'll be the day.

He may express emotions similar to that of a desperate person, but he was too proud to be desperate for anything … or one. My thoughts then took a turn for the unpleasant when I figured – bearing in mind everything that has transpired between Malchior and I – he wanted me. Not just me physically, he wanted _all _of me, and in considering this I frowned and figured my team could wait for just a little longer while I indulged my curiosity.

So with my arms crossed under my chest, my head tilted to the side and my hip cocked I shot straight to the point, "Do you love me, Malchior?"

He blinked … and nothing else, how curious that he didn't express shock or out right bewilderment at such a blunt approach. If it were X he'd be fumbling like an idiot scrambling for ways to turn the tables on me and thusly turn the question back on its heels to fire it at me. No, Malchior did none of this, instead he actually mulled over the question with narrowed eyes, I could see him sifting through every word within his vocabulary to use. He analyzed every word and its meaning, and in turn carefully picked out the appropriate words as he then opened his mouth to simply state, "I'm not human."

"… So …" I shrugged and waited for him to explain the significance of that statement.

He tried to do so with a deep intake of air and an even slower exhale, "Love … is a relative term. You see, I don't so much as love you as I feel drawn to you for obvious reasons … my kind … the term love is an expression of whimsical fancy one would use to undermine a male that is greatly attracted to _one_ female. So in a senses … yes, I do love you, but not in such a way the human mind would perceive it. Do you understand?"

I nodded slowly and tried to piece this together using terms he might understand, "So you feel drawn to me … and attracted to me … and possessive of me … but you don't _own _me, am I correct?"

He smirked, "Clever girl, I've marked you as mine, but I have not claimed you as an equal mate, thus I have no right to claim you at all." Well that made sense; it even explained why he appeared to be so jealous of X's close relation to me. It almost worked as Robin and my bond, on occasion we could transmit how one feels about the other in certain situations. Most of the time this bond activated on the battlefield, but I think that's just due to the fact Robin had this overwhelming desire to win the fight. I patiently listened closely when Malchior spoke up once more, "Most females of my kind would be insulted of this gesture, they see it as a sort of … how did Drake put it … similar to the term one-night-stand, but repetitive …"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "A booty-call …"

"Exactly that!"

"Riiiigghhht … well I hope you know I carry myself with more dignity than such …"

He chuckled, "I don't doubt it …" he then reached up his hand to cup the side of my face as he hovered over me to say, "… though I have not claimed you as an equal mate, I recognize your triumphs over me on the battlefield, so I respect you as an equal as well as love you."

I don't know where it came from, or even why I thought of it, but it almost made me burst out laughing when the image of Malchior proclaiming his love atop a balcony dressed as a love-struck Spanish Desperado strumming away on his acoustic guitar trying to romance his lover into a whirl-wind of romantic fancies just seemed hella-funny to me. I refrained from cracking up, but I did offer him a small friendly smile of understanding as I placed one of my own hands over his and brought it away from my face. Thoroughly impressed (and honestly surprised) that he wasn't trying to win my heart in a bull-fight (snicker, snicker) I tilted my head as he chuckled, "Well, if only Fox were here now … he'd be ecstatic to see you smiling."

_X … _I tried not to think of where or what he was up to these last few days that I haven't seen or heard of him and instead shrugged off the thought and levitated off the ground still holding onto Malchior's hand. Only when I was a considerable distance away did he let go and I bid him ado to envelope myself in my darkness and teleport to Uptown Jump City where some idiot was destroying the boutiques.

At least this idiot would serve as some means of distraction …

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the teen titans, or malchior … but I SO wish I did … damn you DC!!**

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took longer than usual folks, the later chapters of this story are giving me a hard time, but I won't call it a writers block, I'm just indecisive. I don't know how to proceed, but I'll try my best to get over it in the mean time: I told you there's not gonna be a mal/rae/x thing goin on … however, I can't help to add a little mal/rae moment when I can get away with it, XD, so with that said …**

**L8er daez**


	15. Partnership

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Partnership**

"_Ahhh!!"_

"_STARFIRE!!"_

_BOOM!!_

An explosion rocked the building Starfire was smashed into, the entire structure shuddered and threatened to collapse in itself. The rest of my team stood around and stared agape in worry and bewilderment, even their opponent paused to wait for the Tameranian Princess, her sister, to escape the rubble. Hovering high in the air, with her glowing lavender-eyes Blackfire scoffed and chuckled when a full minute passed and Starfire hadn't flown out, flicking her silky pitch-black hair back over her shoulder when the wind blew it in her face. She smirked and propped a hand on her hip as she said loud enough for the Titans and the curious civilian onlookers to hear, "I guess that's the end of that."

From there it wasn't hard for me to deduce what was going on and I scowled, _I've had it with this bitch, _with my eyes still glowing white I zoomed into the clearing allowing my anger to stretch out and engulf the blue-skies as I spread my wings. Since I had the element of surprise I slammed into Blackfire from behind and smashed her into the streets below. The impact was hard enough to create a crater and puff up a mushroom cloud of dust, dirt, and debris that had the civilians running for cover. With my hands over Blackfire's throat I growled into her ear while she choked and tried to gain her bearings with her shortness of breath, "You just don't know when to give up."

She tried to gasp for air, but I tightened my grip around her throat and she started to claw at my arms while her eyes once again lit up a bright purple and fired a concentrated energy-ray from her eyes, but I moved my face from her line of sight in time before my face became ashes. However the distraction was long enough for her to slip her feet under me and kick me off with enough force that it threw me high into the nearest building. I shattered the thick glass and tumbled into an office space where a few people gasped in shock and moved away, obviously afraid of becoming part of the news as I got back on my feet and dusted off the glass from my shoulder. One brave soul came up to me and pointed out the obvious with a horrified expression on her face, "Oh my god, you're bleeding! Are you alright?"

I glanced around my person and felt my face for any cuts then winced when I found one at the corner of my right brow. I brought my blood coated finger to my face and examined it, but shrugged it off and decided it wasn't all that when I heard Cyborg's battle cry. I rushed to the shattered window and looked down, Cyborg had launched heat-seeking rockets at Blackfire the moment Terra erected and scattered bits of earth around to give Blackfire a hard time running.

When, from my point of view, it only aided in her nimble avoidance-tactic. She weaved in and out of boulders like a graceful dancer, using the boulders as blockers when each missile got too close till she was totally clear and she went on the offensive. Raining starbolts all around Terra, forcing her to take cover and left Cyborg firing his sonic-cannon multiple times to break her guard, but Blackfire was too quick. She dodged every one of his moves and turned her attention from Terra back to Cyborg and gave him a taste of her energy charged eyes. Yet, while Cyborg and Terra ran for cover, Beast Boy who had taken to the skies dropped down as a heavy triceratops to crush Blackfire into the pavement.

_BOOM!!_

He hit the ground on top of Blackfire, but the Tameranian was persistent, within seconds Blackfire had lifted Beast Boy into the air and thrown him off to the side with a grunt and a scream. Hovering with a smug grin she laughed out loud, "Is that all you got?!"

A tingling in the back of my neck made me shiver and I followed the feeling down to my right where I saw Robin with his bo-staff in hand looking eager to put a serious hurt on the arrogant ex-princess. He didn't have to look at me or signal for me to assist him; I knew what he wanted from me with the help of our bond, it was like our minds worked in perfect sync and I held out my hand when he rushed in to confront Blackfire. The tameranian turned her attention on Robin and smirked as if she knew what was about to happen when she had no idea.

Robin leapt into the air, his bo-staff high over his head and Blackfire arched a brow in confusion when it looked like he was about to slam the ground in the same manner one would do to a person. That's when I opened a black portal and Robin fell into it, seconds later, in simultaneous perfection another portal opened above Blackfire and Robin came through with the staff that cracked the top of her head. Or it would have if she hadn't have stumbled back in shock and fell flat on her ass momentarily stunned at the move, but recovered quickly and was back on her feet. However Robin fell into a flip kick and caught the bottom of her chin with his steel-toe boots and she cried out as she again fell back to the ground with a now bruised chin.

I flew out of the building and landed beside Robin as he walked up to the dazed ex-princess and grabbed a fist full of her blouse to pull her up to his face. I did not sympathize with her when she groaned in pain as Robin growled, "You better tell me why you're here if it's not to finish off Starfire."

_This isn't about Starfire? _I arched a brow in interest while she hissed through gritted teeth, "Or what are you going to do? Kill me and I take my secrets to my grave."

She laughed in his face and I scowled in impatience, "There are worse things than death."

My glowing scarlet eyes wiped the smile from her face when she saw my shadow take a life of its own and stand up to tower over Robin and myself with it's own set of glowing red eyes and a set of jagged razor sharp teeth that grinned hungrily down at her. She glared at it, then at me, and then at Robin in contemplation, but then snorted arrogantly, "You wouldn't."

Robin completely disregarded her and she dropped to the ground on her elbows in bewilderment as I converged on her, my shadow grew taller and her eyes widened as she scrambled to get away from me. But I didn't let her get too far, my shadow lashed out with a black tentacle and wrapped around her ankle, it yanked her towards me and she screamed in terror just like every other criminal who wouldn't cooperate in questioning. Flat on her back she turned on her stomach and began to claw at the ground to keep from sinking into the darkness that awaited her with starving hands that reached out to grab her.

I levitated in the air to stay out of my shadow's way as those same hands slapped on her body, grabbed her, and started to pull. She screamed, _"NOOO!!"_

I didn't listen, I wanted to hear her confess, if it meant consuming her in my darkness than so be it, but I will get an answer from her. Honestly, I don't know why she would put up with this humiliation when all she had to do was tell us why she was here. That's all we wanted to know. More hands clung to her shoulders and pulled half of her body into the shadows, she screamed louder when I knew she felt things, creepy-crawlies that began to crawl up her leg and around her lower-body.

Her eyes were now the definition of terror opened-wide and tearing with nothing but fear and panic as she pleaded with me to let her go, to spare her the darkness.

I refrained from smirking in amusement, the way I see it, she deserved it.

_ZZZING!!_

"Raven!" Robin jumped at me and tackled me to the ground just before a sharp knife cleaved my head in half as it whizzed by Cyborg and embedded itself into the nearest lamppost and exploded like a concussion bomb. Distracted from Blackfire my shadow sank back into the ground to join me and mingle with Robin's as he picked himself up off of me and helped me back to my feet. Confused as to what had happened my head as well as everyone within the vicinity turned when they heard the sound of a roaring engine zoom down the street.

The engine belonged to a bike and that bike belonged to Red X as he slid into the battlefield with a broad-slide stopping perfectly beside the trembling Blackfire who was still trying to pull herself up from the ground. Shaking so badly she growled and slapped X's gloved hand away as he offered it to help her up.

"You're late." She snarled.

X scoffed, "Well excuse me for saving your life."

"Whatever just do your job and get me out of here," she snapped as she stood on her own two feet then mounted his bike with each hand holding onto his sides.

X then sat up, grabbed her hands and made her wrap it around his waist just before he leaned forward and grabbed a hold of the handlebars, revving his engine he turned to us, the slack-jawed Robin and the stupefied me and gave us his signature two finger salute. With that he tail-whipped the back of his bike and sped off down the street leaving us Titans completely dumbfounded. Well I was anyway; Robin had to physically nudge me out of my stupor back into the game as he ran for the nearby alleyway gesturing for me to follow as he shouted back, "Cyborg! Take Starfire back to the Tower! Beast Boy, Terra track our location and on my mark move in if necessary!"

We rounded the corner where his bike was parked and without a second thought he jumped on and ordered me to ride with him; I climbed on board and wrapped my arms around his waist, still operating on auto-pilot I asked, "What are we going to do?"

"We're going after them."

I knew what he said, I understood the meaning of the words, but putting them all together to form a coherent sentence and thusly understand what was taking place was hard for me to comprehend. We were going after them? We're going to pursue Red X's xinthonium powered bike, who was probably long gone by now packing Blackfire with him? Was that Robin's wishful thinking? Or was I still trying to process my whereabouts and the world around me?

Nevertheless Robin grabbed a hold of his handlebars and tore out of the alleyway with such a jerk I had to tighten my grip around his waist if I was to keep myself from falling off the bike. In no less than a few nano-seconds the R-cycle's speedometer climbed to 60, then 80, then 90 till we were going so fast the world blurred and I had to remember how to breath every time he zoomed through a busy intersection with a red-light. Now, I'm not a coward, nor was I jumpy or timid under extreme conditions, but riding with Robin on his bike I knew was most certainly not the safest place in the world to be.

But I trusted him.

"There they are!" He suddenly exclaimed over the roaring winds, squinting my eyes I glanced over his shoulder in time to see Blackfire's back on X's bike as he expertly weaved in and out of traffic. I bite down on my lower lip when the Tameranian looked back with X to observe our speedy approach. We were now close enough that I can hear him revving his engine to go faster, I can see his masked-eyes narrowed in annoyance, and I can swear I felt my heart stop when I realized just what Robin and X were both thinking and I couldn't do anything to stop either of them. All I could do was hold on as Robin jerked the bike to the left, then right following X closely as they traversed the obstacles of moving vehicles that might as well have been parked cars with the speed we were going.

An intersection came up, X nearly dropped his bike straight to the ground when he turned hard right, but as he did he held out his right hand and fired a stream of explosive X-blades that turned numerous cars into balls of fire and had panicking civilians running for cover. Robin leaned forward and screamed, "Hold on!" He didn't have to tell me twice, my grip around his waist was so tight I might as well have been giving him a life-threatening bear hug while he pulled improvised moves with a bike I never knew were possible. Then again, I should have known Robin was the king at improvisation, it's what earned him the title Boy-Wonder in the first place, because it was a frickin' wonder we weren't dead yet!

With a whip of his backend he completed his hazardous track-run with a flawless turn and had no problems catching up with the speedy thief. I, still chewing on my lower lip felt that tingle in the back of my neck, our bond working again and Robin giving me another order. I complied without thinking and held out my hand and concentrated on my powers to erect chunks of the earth to stand as pillars to act as deterrents and road-blocks to stop X and Blackfire. Yet, with each that I shot up X had nimbly swerved to avoid like a pro, despite his skill Blackfire was apparently annoyed at my intervention and glared over her shoulder with glowing lavender-eyes. She fired a beam straight across the street that was powerful enough to destroy it.

For a moment I thought that was it, the chase was over, but with another violent jerk Robin swerved to the right and like the true King of Improvisation he found a part of the street she destroyed turned into a ramp that Robin jumped. I held on tight as he dropped on the sidewalk that startled a bunch of already panicked civilians. Robin then hopped back on the street to avoid running over anyone and zoomed through the clear roads to follow the shadow that darted left through another intersection. Once again back on track, Robin revved his engine and I gasped softly when he popped the front wheel and then dropped it, our speed increased dramatically and we were suddenly right on X's tail.

Blackfire looked back and all but gasped in shock to see we were still alive and kicking, but then held out a hand and rained in a rapid-fire stream of starbolts, I erected a shield to protect us from her wrath. Yet, when the deadly bolt-rain stopped I turned the shield into a whip and cracked it across her face. She screamed and fell off the bike, but didn't hit the pavement, she was quick enough to recover from the shock to hover in midair while X put on the brakes and fell back. Robin swerved to avoid him and we both glanced back to watch as Blackfire, forgoing the bike flew above X with a scowl of vengeance on her face, most obviously not very happy with me.

I patted Robin's shoulder to let him know I was leaving and levitated to mimic Blackfire, but I flew backwards and with my glowing white eyes I grabbed a hold of everything disposable and flung them at the Tameranian. She retaliated with brute force and smashed everything I threw to bits then with a sudden burst of speed she came at me with a power-charged fist and clocked me in my jaw that threw me back so far and so fast I surpassed Robin and X. I crashed to the pavement with a painful bounce then hit the corner of a bus. Still flying back and bracing for a skidding stop Blackfire had other plans and grabbed my neck, "Come'ere!" She hissed as she smashed me against the ground and scrapped me across the asphalt.

It hurt like hell, but she wasn't done with me yet, she threw me into the air and flew up to smack me around some more. Yet despite the agonizing pain within me, I was running on pure adrenaline so it didn't matter how bad everything hurt I was going to end this fight once and for all. So I corrected my fall and the moment she came close enough to throw a punch I flipped and with the help of my powers I dropped down to nail her with an axe-kick that threw her back to the ground. As she fell I followed her and just as we were within a few feet of the ground I grabbed her ankle, spun her around and threw her into a nearby building with enough force to kill a normal human being then watched her fall to finally hit the sidewalk unmoving.

I levitated closer to the ground and closer to Blackfire to get a better look at her and to see if she was really out of it this time around, but even with my cautious approach I just can never seem to catch a damn break. Inches from the supposed knocked out ex-princess I heard a loud, _KABOOM!!_ It shook the ground and I snapped my head around to stare down the street at the flaming mushroom-cloud which climbed into the air and I was reminded of the dual speed-demons I had left to their own devices. _Robin … _I thought in worry for I knew X could careless if he killed my leader, if anything he'd be the one to pull a risky stunt if he felt like he was pushed into a corner.

That's not to say I wasn't worried about X either, I was concerned about him being hurt, but I was in public, and I can't show it.

I looked back down at Blackfire and with quick thinking on my part I grabbed the nearest streetlight and wrapped it around her to make sure she wasn't going anywhere then took flight to see what had happened. Who was in trouble, and who was the victor. I prayed Robin won, but if he won that meant Red X was in trouble of going to jail … but if X won than Robin might be dead right now. I tried not to think about whose side I was on, I wasn't on anyone's side, that's what I chanted in my head as I grew closer to the disaster and saw bits and pieces of the X-bike and the R-cycle scattered throughout the block. _I'm not on any one side … _I gulped when I touched down in the middle of a clearing and began to look around for any signs of either a masked hero or a masked villain.

Who won?

What happened?

Then I felt it, the familiar tingling in the back of my neck.

"Robin?" I called out to him and following our bond I found his burnt and torn up green-gloved hand sticking out of a pile of rubble a good 30 feet from the fiery accident. My heart skipped a beat when that hand twitched and his fingers weakly scrapped across the asphalt, "Robin!"

I ran to him, but the moment I got within ten feet of him a red adhesive smacked me from the side and I flew back till I was pinned against a streetlamp with my arms pressed tightly against the sides of my body and I couldn't move. Grunting I opened my mouth and chanted, _"Azarath! Metrion! Zin –!!"_

Another red colored adhesive like tape was slapped on my mouth and I was silenced with my glowing white eyes that stared into X's mask when he slid into view and I could feel his smugness as he chuckled and shrugged, "What can I say sunshine, I'm _that _good."

I blinked since it seemed to be the only thing I was able to do with my immobility.

So many questions, so many things I wanted to say and he silenced me!

Was this an act?

Or were we officially good-guy vs. bad-guy?

Why wouldn't he give me a sign?

Helplessly I watched him turn his back on me and casually stroll out of my view when he pressed the button on his belt and he teleported out of the scene of the crime. Probably to get Blackfire since they appeared to have formed a partnership. I wasn't surprised, nor was I insulted, and I was far from jealous … I was just confused, how did that happen and why? What was really going on?

Why was Blackfire back on Earth?

--

It was embarrassing to say the least that local officials had to cut me down and carry Robin away to the hospital in a stretcher. Of course Cyborg had him transferred to the Tower so he could be with Starfire, but it was still embarrassing that one guy … one _villain _had taken on the Titans and won. I didn't even fight Red X directly and I still lost! Watching the news in the med-bay (Cyborg insisted that he had a look at my minimal damage in case they were infected, which was pointless since my half-blood could filter out toxins) I cringed at both the pain of the peroxide and the video clip of me being pinned to the streetlamp. I scowled and mumbled, "Embarrassing."

Cyborg looked over his shoulder at the news, then grabbed the remote and shut it off, "It doesn't matter anymore Rae, let it go Red X has always been a bastard."

I gritted my teeth and winced when he went down my back with a cotton-ball of peroxide then sighed tiredly and looked up when Beast Boy snorted, "Well this sucks, we get to see Red X again in a _long _time and he _still _is able to kick our asses, to top that off now he's working with Blackfire? Who didn't see that coming raise your hand?"

He raised his hand and so did Cyborg and just to humor him I did as well, Terra raised her hand too, but it was for a different reason, "Uh, yeah, is anyone gonna fill me in? Who's Red X?"

Beast Boy leaned closer to her and said, "Bad-guy, with an attitude."

Terra arched a brow and shrugged dismissively, "Everyone of our bad-guys have attitudes, what makes him different?"

"He doesn't care," I spoke up with an exasperated huff as Cyborg slid across the floor on his stool to grab the gauze in order to wrap up my wounds. I looked up through the curtain of my violet hair then jerked my head back to remove the strand from my point of view when Terra's attention was centered solely on me, "he doesn't have an agenda, everything he does, every time he shows up it's always for a random reason. He could he stealing your car one minute then saving your life the next, basically an idiot with nothing better to do than to make our lives miserable – ah!"

I glared over my shoulder at Cyborg when he tightened the gauze too tight around my waist. He looked up at me with an expression that was cause for question, it was like he was accusing me of something, I can even feel it in his aura, but I figured I was just reading too much into it, especially when he turned his attention back on my gauze and muttered softly, "Sorry."

I shook my head while Terra contemplated my explanation for a moment and said, "Sooo … he's Chaotically Neutral?"

Cyborg, Beast Boy, and myself all stopped to stare at Terra for a second then at once we chimed in bewilderment, _"What?"_

She shrugged, "Chaotically Neutral, you said it: might save your life, might steal your car type, totally random, and has no real purpose in life … yeah … am I the only one who knew that term?"

I scowled, "Apparently." An impatient sigh escaped my lips and I smacked Cyborg's hand away when he went on to check my bruising for blood clots, "I'll be fine, it's Robin and Starfire that are the one's unconscious."

"Ugh … not anymore …"

I jumped off my bed with a gasp, "Robin …" Beast Boy and Terra perked up while I walked up to stand at Robin's bedside as he lifted up one of his hands to his head and propped himself up on his elbow. With the cuts and bruises all over his body I winced when he turned his head to face me and groaned my name as if he weren't sure I was really the one beside him.

"Raven …?"

I nodded, "Lay down Robin, you hit your head pretty hard you shouldn't be –"

"X … he got away …"

I rolled my eyes, and Beast Boy shared my same annoyance when he scoffed, "Come on dude, drop it already, X always gets away just get some rest man."

He shook his head as if to disregard his protest and called to Cyborg as he sat up on his bed and swung his legs over the edge. I had the right of mind to push him back down and force him to sleep, but Robin is Robin and he was stubborn as all hell. So I stepped aside as he spared me a glance of acknowledgement before looking up at Cyborg and taking a deep breath he assumed his role, "Check your scanner, the locator I planted on Blackfire should be active."

My throat suddenly grew dry at the mention of a homing-device strapped to Blackfire, I may not know why she was working with X, but my guess (as well as Robin's) was somewhere down the line she was going to lead us to Red X. X, I knew was careful, he cleaned up after himself so well that some people might call it a minor case of OCD, but I called it paranoia. He had too much of a reputation and a sweet business going for him to lose everything to carelessness. Blackfire, on the other hand didn't share the same mannerism. If anything, she was apathetic, she just didn't care so long as everything was going her way.

I watched Cyborg fiddle with his arm for a few seconds before nodding, "If this is right than she's hauling ass out of Jump City and headed for the countryside."

_Blackfire was out cold the last I dealt with her … that's probably X, but how could he go that fast? His bike was destroyed … wasn't it?_ Actually, now that I thought of it, I just assumed both the X-Bike and the R-Cycle were obliterated, I didn't actually see any specific parts that might be linked with the X-Bike. After all, their engine designs were pretty similar, only Robin uses power-cells and X uses xinothium. As a matter of fact that explosion should have wiped out the entire intersection and taken down that building if the xinothium went up in flames. So … does that mean the X-Bike was fine?

No, it doesn't … it could just mean that Malchior was probably in on this … he was the getaway-car (metaphorically speaking). After last night and the ride Malchior took me for was testament of his speed I wouldn't put it pass X to use the dragon however he saw fit. That is, of course, assuming Malchior could push himself fast enough with added weight on his back. Malchior's true-form was already a large weight for his wings to carry; I highly doubt adding more would keep his already taxed speed at the max.

With these thoughts kept to myself I watched Robin roll his head around to crack his neck and sigh, "Alright then, as soon as her beckon comes to a stop we'll go after her …" He then paused to look over his shoulder at the bed beside his at the still unconscious Starfire. He frowned and asked softly, "Is she gonna be alright?"

Cyborg huffed, "Yeah, she'll bounce back soon enough, minor concussion, but that's what I'd expect from a girl who's been thrown into a building numerous times. So do the girl a favor and lay back down, you're not exactly invincible here either oh-fearless-leader."

Robin shot him a dry look, but shook his head, "I gotta get to the bottom of this, Red X doesn't usually work with others … this means something …"

I placed my hand on his chest and it caught his attention immediately, he looked down at me and I held him with my violet gaze that mentally forced him back to the bed, "What this means is you should get some rest before you start bleeding out of your ears."

"Listen to her man," Cyborg backed me while he put away all the materials he used to bandage me, "you don't gotta worry, we got this, I'll monitor Blackfire's movements, if she so much as turns one degree in any direction I'll be da know."

"I don't doubt you …" Robin responded automatically and sighed heavily as he then laid back down on the bed, closed his eyes (I assumed he did, his mask was still on) and turned his head away from us. It was at this point did Beast Boy and Terra excuse themselves from the room to give Robin his much needed break. Cyborg cleaned up the rest of his mess and dusting his hands off as he turned to me and gestured for me to follow him out.

I nodded and complied without question, I honestly did believe Robin needed rest … but, I won't lie, I also had ulterior motives to keep him from thinking too much. Knowing Robin as well as I do I knew if I let him ponder the outcome of the Red X/Blackfire fiasco he'd call me on my tardiness and start to question where my loyalties lie and I couldn't have that. At least not in front of the entire team, at least then if we were alone and he decreed that my Titan status be revoked no one on the team would fight for me to keep my position.

That's the last thing I needed right now … to be fought for when I didn't deserve it.

Totally zoned out I somehow managed to make it to my room, but paused when my eyes fell on my mirror and I saw that it had cracked and the piece that had gone rouge was once again missing. I huffed in exasperation, "I don't have the time to deal with you."

"What a shame," I jumped my mind went into auto-drive and locked my body into a defensive stance with my palms engulfed in darkness and my eyes glowing while I braced to confront my intruder who was propped up against the door-frame of my private bathroom. As cocky as ever with his arms crossed over his chest and the whites of his masked-eyes narrowed on me I scowled when he said, "because here I've been waiting for you the entire time to show up."

"X," I growled as I loosened my stance, but did not power down. I still had no idea what was going on, I actually expected Blackfire to be skulking around, but with a quick scan I found she was missing. Lucky too, because I had more than enough left to put a serious hurt on that alien for what she did to me. I may be able to heal the little cuts and bruises she gave me but I'll be damned if she thinks she can getaway with scrapping me across the pavement without a similar parting gift from me. However, seeing as she wasn't here I settled for what – or rather who – was in my room, armed with a pointed finger I crossed the room to give X a piece of my mind, "You got a lot of nerve showing up here after the crap you pulled on the street. I should lynch you!"

X pushed off the door frame and stood so his full height towered over me, however, as soon as I came close enough to poke my finger to his chest he pulled off his mask and with a relaxed posture he shrugged dryly and smirked, "You can try, doesn't mean I'll let you string me up sunshine."

I scowled, "You don't think I can?"

"No, I said I won't let you … _and_ I don't think you can."

Against my will my powers activated due to my rising agitation and my eyes flashed scarlet red just as the books on my shelves began to rattle and the trinkets on my other shelf over my bed also trembled under my short fuse. So in a short, deliberate pace I made sure he heard me loud and clear, "Don't mistake my friendship for weakness X … if I ever find out you're involved in matters far more diabolical than stealing priceless artifacts and government secrets I _will _see to it that the appropriate actions are taken so that your ass will never see the light of day, ever."

Of course … I didn't really mean that … at least I don't think so, it's just his arrogance and cocky attitude was not something I wanted to deal with right now. I wanted answers, and he wasn't giving me what I wanted which as an end result was making me very, very angry. I started grinding my teeth, waiting for some kind of response (fear actually, I wanted him to know that I wasn't in the mood to play word games), but he disregard me. I didn't know whether to feel insult or befuddled for his lack of concern to a very serious threat I dished out.

Knowing him, he probably knew I was straight up bluffing.

You can't con a con man who knows he's being conned.

It's like water painting in the rain ... need I say more?

I bit down on my lower lip as he closed the gape between us and still with that arrogant little grin of his _dared _to lift up a gloved hand to run it over the side of my face as an endearing gesture that – I won't lie – made my heart jump, but I hid that well enough with a dark look in my eyes. I tried to maintain the fierceness of my expression and the ferocity of my demon side that wanted to tear him to shreds, I really, _really _tried. However, when he pressed his lips to mine and massaged them apart to then dip his tongue into my mouth only to tease me with a little taste of him as he ran the tip of his tongue along the length of mine in a slow enough pace that made me shudder.

Yet, that wasn't the kicker, what was, was the fact that he didn't prolong it. He pulled away slowly, reeling me in _still _with that damn smirk on his lips with the look of triumph in his hot amber eyes. He won, and I didn't want him to think he won easily, so I forced myself to fake not being affected in anyway.

Pointless, but I hated to admit that I was the kind of girl to melt into a kiss if done correctly … and goddamn X, he knew what he was doing. In a husky tone with his hot breath on my flesh sending tingles to my toes he hummed, "Mmmm … I really missed that …"

My lips fell apart in an attempt to rebuke him, but I wasn't fast enough to speak for he kissed me again, I rolled my eyes in defeat. I can be mad later, right now this was just too good to pass up so I returned the affection in full and brought my hands up from my sides to place them on his shoulders, but they stopped short of his abdomen. I couldn't help to notice how well this suit brought out his perfectly toned body. It felt like I could trace every single rock-hard muscle with the tips of my fingers and I almost did, but I gasped when a sharp pain stabbed my back and shot up my spine.

"Ahh!" I yelped and pulled away from him to yank his hand off of my back when he managed to run his rough gloved hands over one of the sore unhealed wounds Blackfire had inflicted on me.

He hissed and softly apologized, "Sorry …" then with a subtle gesture made me turn around so my back was faced to him and he lifted up my shirt to see the full extent of the damage … or at least the part that Cyborg hadn't wrapped up and he whistled, "Damn … that looks pretty bad … how come you didn't let Cyborg check out the rest of it?"

I scoffed, "They're just little cuts and bruises, nothing I can't handle …"

"Right …" he pulled down my shirt, but then wrapped his arms around me from behind to pull me flush against his warm body and I bite down on my lower lip when he kissed me on my cheek and breathed in my ear, "… I don't give a damn if you're the fastest healer on the planet, have Cyborg look at it."

"…" I could have scowled and told him to piss-off, I could have giggled and teased him about worrying about me, I could just said nothing and let him _think _he won that argument, or I can change the subject altogether, and so I did, "What are you up to X?"

He chuckled in my ear as he kissed my neck and trailed down to my shoulder, in between kisses he replied, "Relax, there is a perfectly good explanation for everything that's gone down and is going to go down soon."

I frowned, "Then why don't you start explaining."

He paused in what he was doing after noticing that I wasn't taking the bait this time and he sighed heavily, "Because I don't have all the details yet and I got things to deal with, but assuming the General hasn't lost his touch I'll be seeing you soon enough and until then I just need you to lay low," he flicked out a card out for me to take, I stared at it as he said, "call me with this number when you get to Steel City."

Confused, I tilted my head and turned it as far as I could to look him in the eyes and asked, "You make it sound like you've already booked my plane-ticket what's in Steel City?"

He shrugged, "Like I said, I don't have details, so you want more just give me a call when you get there."

I knew he knows more than he's letting on, but that's not what bothered me, what did was the fact that he was keeping everything hush-hush and not telling me about anything. With narrowed eyes I glared into his soul, looking for anything that I might not trust and openly expressed my unwillingness to go along with his little charade. He saw this and planted another mind blowing kiss on my lips to try and make me forget about my worries … it didn't work, but it did manage to succeed in quelling my discomforts.

His grip around my waist grew tighter when I took the card from his hand and slipped it into my pocket, I fumbled with it a few times when I felt something hard rub against my tailbone and I knew it wasn't his belt. He deepened what was suppose to be a reassuring kiss and I knew this was about to head in much hotter direction when I suddenly felt all his focused attention on me. He was quickly losing all his self-control and I knew why … he saw us … Malchior and I … he saw us at Carmen's birthday party … and he was afraid that he had lost me.

Or rather, he was _still _afraid of losing me.

It was like … seeing us together … had suddenly straightened out all his priorities, with me at the top of his list and he had to do everything in his power to keep me.

It made me frown inwardly; I was never, ever the single entity that was at the forefront of a single mind where I took precedence over everything else in that person's life. It was an odd fact I knew I'll never get use to, but besides that what bothered me the most was X was starting to lose sight of the bigger picture. Relationships are dangerous and as much as I was flattered he cared enough about me to throw caution to the wind it just wasn't worth the trouble it'll bring afterwards.

I sighed and collected my breath when for a brief period he pulled away, my heart was racing and so was my mind, bombarded with all these feelings he was throwing at me, I clung to my life-vest of reason and tried not to get swept up by the tide. I shook my head to ignore my earthly desires and whispered, "X –" but he swallowed my words as he claimed my lips once more to purposefully silence me, he knew what I was going to say, and he didn't want to hear it, but he had to. So I gently pulled away from him and tried again, "X … you're complicating things … don't do it … or we'll both regret it."

I can see it in his eyes, he was struggling with the rational and irrational, he'd rather forgo all caution and take me now while he had the chance, but if he did he'd be risking too much for it to all be worth it in the end. He licked his lips as if to saver my taste and I gulped as he leaned down to kiss me once more, chaste this time around, but lingering and leaving a lustful-wanting taste behind for me to mull over. If I didn't already know his intention was to stir me into a similar heated frenzy I would have said damn it all and throw him on my bed, but since I know how he thinks I controlled my carnal desire and said, "I think you should go now …"

He sighed heavily in defeat and pouted, "I'll see you in Steel City right?"

I furrowed my brows in thought, "I don't know … if I immediately suggest you're headed to Steel City, Robin might –"

He scoffed, "Yeah, yeah, yeah I know … he might catch on to something … right … but just in case it doesn't go smoothly …" he pulled away from me and I glared at him suspiciously as he pulled out of one of his many pockets in his belt a shard from my mirror. My mouth fell open in shock and dismay as he smirked and slipped on his mask so his distorted metallic voice rang mockingly in my ear, "I figured if I take this you'll have to come find me."

I slowly shook my head as he continuously took steps away from me, I reached out a hand, "X … give that back to me …"

He chuckled maliciously, "Catch me if you can."

"X! No!" He vanished!

I gritted my teeth and shouted to no one in particular, "You, _idiot!"_

_Why do I even bother?!_

**--**

**A/N: Wow … you guys have no idea how much these last few chapters have been a bitch to type up!! I've had to change the whole frickin direction of the story just to make it flow as smoothly as I want it to and it sux!! DX … but … I won't say I hate it entirely (otherwise I wouldn't be trying to finish it now would I? lol) I just have to readjust my course and steer myself in the right heading … **

**=/ … I just hope I can do all that while keeping up with my English, because as of currently I have discovered that as much as I love writing, I don't like English in the least … I think it has something to do with being **_**told **_**what to write and I don't like to be told what to do very much. So, yeah, that's my rant for the chapter … hopefully I don't update too late due to another frickin change in heading. Ugh … I guess that's what I get for naming this story **_**Long Road to Ruin, **_**lol XDD!!**

**L8er daez**


	16. Instigator

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Instigator**

Red X is a jerk … an all around asshole, but no matter how many names he's called it won't change the fact that he knew what he was doing. I guess that's what made him hateable, he was a smart-asshole, and no one I know liked a smart-asshole. Especially Robin, upon the discovery of Blackfire's set destination, Steel City (act surprised), which was two days ago Cyborg had also informed us that her beckon suddenly blinked off his radar. Needless to say for the remainder of that hour the team debated on the appropriate action to take, Beast Boy said he was Titans East's problem now and we didn't have to do anything anymore. Maybe warn Titans East, but that's about it.

For the most part Robin agreed, however, claimed that Red X and Blackfire were our problem and that at least one of our members should oversea the investigation. As predicted he volunteered himself and everyone on the team semi agreed to the arrangement. Starfire was the only one who had a problem with him going _alone_, she didn't care if he went so long as he had backup. This is where Robin the Stubborn came into play, he insisted on going alone claiming that two was one too many, it would become conspicuous.

Which basically set himself up for my attack, I told him it was already conspicuous enough that the leader of Titans West was gone, so in that case we might as well all go. Of course I added a dash of sarcasm to make it believable and Robin hated it when Starfire – still unable to pick up on what sarcasm was – backed me. Thus, he lost, and I ended up being the one to go on his crusade as Little John with Robin Hood on a whirlwind adventure of a lifetime.

Go me.

I wasn't exactly thrilled to be the one picked to go on this assignment, I was actually suspicious that Robin hadn't picked Starfire to be his partner … wouldn't it make sense since they were already going out? Apparently, I wasn't the only one to notice the odd decision, Terra and Starfire herself noticed it. Although, Starfire was more of an emotional acknowledgement, she was jealous of the bond Robin and I share while Terra just added this to her list of oddities concerning the over obsessive bird and myself.

With all that said, now here I stand on the rooftop of Titan Tower at the crack of dawn preparing to leave for Steel City with Robin, however … we were suppose to be at the subbasement preparing to leave on Robin's backup civilian bike. Why I found him on the rooftop went beyond me, but we were going nowhere fast with him just staring off into the horizon waiting for the sun to rise with me leaning on the doorframe waiting for him to notice me. So I got the ball rolling, I pushed off the frame and silently walked up to his side, he spared me a glance of acknowledgement before he straightened up and sighed, "Time to go?"

I nodded dryly in confirmation, but for a full 30 seconds we didn't move, the dark night sky was slowly creeping away with every second the sun battled the moon for the skies. It was an epic battle, one that was displayed with a brilliant array of approaching colors that would soon claim the heavens and give the sky a warm orange glow with a light pink kiss. Beautiful in its own right, yet tragically short-lived, but I wax poetry, which I shouldn't I don't have a poetic bone in my body to be romantic. I can dream it, but I can't live it. It wouldn't be practical, and neither would it be sensible.

Yet … I stood here with Robin, silently taking in the moment as the world suddenly became still … the seagulls weren't squawking, the waves that crashed against the island seemed to calm for the moment as if waiting for the sun to rise. It was just so … still … that I could almost swear I heard the city stir as the dawn. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily, such a peaceful moment that anyone could get lost in, but we couldn't … so to break tranquility, I asked, "Why did you pick me to go with you?"

I was almost too quiet for Robin to hear, but he heard … the world around us had grown so still it was almost possible for me to whisper and even the wind wouldn't steal my words from his ears. I reopened my eyes to look at him and found his head was bowed with furrowed brows in thought as he glared at nothing but air. Almost as quietly as I had asked, he responded in equal tone, "I trust you …"

_Of course you do … _I whispered to myself in disappointment, but outwardly I tilted my head, "That's not the only reason … is it …"

At this he did turn to face me and with a mysterious glare he leveled with me, "I don't know why … but Red X _wants_ us at Steel City …"

"…" I refrained from frowning in worry as the pit of my gut churned anxiously.

He shrugged and turned away from me to head back into the Tower. I arched a brow and eyed him suspiciously, but followed anyway to hear him say, "It's almost too perfectly laid out for us … but … I trust you …"

Why did he have to keep saying he trusted me?

Just to spite me or something?

Make me feel guilty?

Well, for whatever the reason, it was working.

Without further questions I followed him to the subbasement and beyond to Steel City.

With the speeds Robin traveled by it wasn't long till we reached Steel City, probably early in the evening did we finally enter the outskirts of the city and Robin had me hail the Tower to let them know we were near by. One of the reasons why it took us two days to get here was because we had to work out the agreements with Titans East. Though they didn't mind us visiting the Tower in the slightest, we just had to make an arrangement to trade off Titans, since two of us were going to Steel, two of them should be going to Jump. The two chosen were Jinx (yes, much to my shock she did join Titans East, although I think that had more to do with the geographical location what with Steel being nearby Central City and all) and Mas y Menos.

The reason this was done was so if the media were to actually notice a change in characters the simple explanation would be the Titans were undergoing a mandatory transfer in which teams would be switched up to ensure political ties. Plus, it helps to keep the number of teams even so if something bad were to go down in Jump while Robin and I were away at least we'll have the reassurance that our team was not a man short. Needless to say, the transfer worked like a charm, Jinx and Mas y Menos had arrived at Jump just about the same time as Robin and I arrived at Titans East Tower.

Bumble Bee, of course, was the first to greet us as Robin rolled into their garage, stopped, and kicked down the kick-stand, "Hello, what's this? The R-Cycle in the shop?"

She snickered and Robin cringed, of course the news of his utter defeat in Jump City had spread to Steel, which would be the reason why Bumble Bee was cracking the jokes to begin with, she knew the R-Cycle was totaled. Robin grumbled as she giggled, "I'm playin', sorry, bad joke you sounded like you really wanted to catch this guy over the transmission … Speedy shares your same sentiment, the thief does know how to get under a guy's skin."

Robin arched a curious brow, "You make it sound as if you've fought him before …"

Bumble Bee scoffed, "Fought him? I damn near killed his ass for being that, an ass! Boy has the balls to come rollin' up in our city – outta nowhere – and starts to call us out on being Titan-wannabes. God! If Aqualad hadn't hold me back I woulda – ooo, just talking about him get's me pissed!"

Robin and I exchanged looks of suspicion and Robin being the detective asked, "When was this?"

She shrugged as she tried to calm herself down, "Eh … I dunno, started about five, six months ago? I wish I could say it's ancient history, but it still strikes a nerve in me."

I disregarded her, "He strikes a nerve in everyone …"

Robin, however, didn't let it go, "You said _started, _you mean this has been on going?"

Bumble Bee scoffed, "Like a bad reoccurring unwanted rash, yeah."

I frowned, _Five, six months ago … that's around the time I first met X … he really did curve his trend … _through the corner of my eye I narrowed my gaze on Robin, _There's no way he _didn't _notice that … if Red X was confronted by Titans East and it reached the papers Robin would have picked up on something … is it possible … he knew from the start? _But then that wouldn't make senses … Robin was … _Robin! _If he knew I was being a bad-girl he'd call me on it … he wouldn't let that go … he couldn't! His code of conduct wouldn't allow him to … which means … he suspects something, but he didn't have enough to follow up on it.

He _knows _I'm doing something bad; he just doesn't know what it is and to what degree and for what drive. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable being in Steel City alone with Robin and other Titans that had no personal connection to me. It felt like I was being set for failure … in Jump City I had plenty of places to hide and I knew the city like the back of my hand, but in Steel … a place I wasn't familiar with. It seemed to me like I was being backed into a corner, here, if I made any mistakes there was no place to hide no place to run … I was screwed if Robin even so much as sniffed fowl-play on my breath.

Check.

He had me at check … soon enough it would be checkmate, and I can't let that happen, I can't lose this game.

"… Well what are we doin' standing around here for?" Bumble Bee suddenly exclaimed, her wings buzzing to life as it lifted her into the air and she gestured for us to follow her into the Tower, "Come on, and I'll get you guys set up, Aqualad and Speedy are running down the location your Blackfire dropped off the radar. They should be back with something anytime now."

Robin smirked, "Thanks, I didn't even have to tell you to check up on it, good work Bumble Bee."

She winked at him, "I run a tight ship here captain and I make sure all my ducks are in a row."

They shared a mutual laugh and I stayed delightfully-stoic as I stepped into the Tower's Control Room where all the magic happens. With dual pools on either side of the walkway, a loft over looking the entire Control Room, and a catwalk looping around the room, it felt more like a summer-home than an HQ. Yet, our sight-seeing was cut short when Bumble Bee immediately set out to show us to our rooms for the remainder of our stay. She showed us to the top floors where Robin would be housed a corner from me as Bumble Bee showed me to my quarters. Interestingly enough (or rather not) I happened to be just across the hall from Speedy's room, but his door was a little further down from mine.

I started at it contemplatively when a random thought suddenly popped into my head: I hardly know Speedy. We've met on occasion (fought each other once) but that's about it … we were never really formally introduced and neither did we ever have any conversation whatsoever. Not that I cared or anything, this was just a random observation that happened to pop into my head at the moment as Bumble Bee fiddled with the control panel to my door trying to get the computer to recognize it's newest tenet. After about a minute of typing away she huffed in exasperation and turned to me, "Sorry, this is gonna take a while, apparently Speedy's being an ass."

I arched a brow, "Meaning …?"

She snorted as she proceeded to override the computers mainframe database to manually reset the encryptions and thus finally grant me access, all while calmly replying, "He doesn't like to share his section of the Tower, and to make his point he overrides my settings and completely rewires the codes so only he has access to all the rooms surrounding his room. Problem is, when the lockdown is initiated this entire section of the Tower doesn't respond to protocol so it leaves us wide open for trouble. I've warned the carrot-top to knock it off, but he never listens to me, always thinking he's the shit …"

From there I tuned her out as she began to mumble to herself and complain about how moronic Speedy was and in truth I was on her side where the safety of the other Titans were concerned. Sure I loved my privacy, but I won't take it to such extremities, this was pretty much border-lining sabotage, and if anything did happen to the Tower (like that Brother Blood fiasco) Speedy could be held liable and ultimately kicked off the force. I had gotten the impression that Speedy was a hot-headed character, always looking for the next _'gig' _that'll give him a bigger fan-base. So doing something as selfish as locking out his own leader from the Tower was not something ideal to the image of Speedy I had painted in my head.

Then again … I had no right to paint any pictures of Speedy when I didn't know him in the slightest.

So with that I sighed heavily and said, "Maybe there's another room you could give me, clearly Speedy doesn't want anyone invading his personal space, and I don't exactly enjoy instigating a fight."

Bumble Bee spared me a glance of acknowledgement, but only seemed to be far more determined to pick the number sequence than before, "No, Speedy has to learn that he can't have everything his way, but if he does give you any trouble, just make sure to send him straight to me. I'll deal with him, besides, Robin requested that I give you guys neighboring rooms and you know with how big the rooms are already this is the closets set I have to give. _Got it!"_

With a smug chuckle of success the door slid open and I was welcomed to my new room for the duration of my stay here in Steel City. Bumble Bee stepped aside and allowed me entrance with a big proud smile on her face as she waited patiently for my reaction. Politely, I commented, "It's big …"

That was an understatement, the room was huge … slightly bigger than my room that's for sure. Off to my right was a large king size bed, low to the ground the way I liked it, but it was in its own little corner tucked in front of the ceiling-to-floor window that overlooked the ocean horizon. There was a couch situated slightly off center, closer to the window with a coffee table, a rug and other necessities sprawled throughout the room to accommodate my stay. The room, I had to say, was too much for one person … it felt empty, and I felt like I didn't deserve it, but I didn't protest it.

I stepped further into the room and set down my backpack on the couch as Bumble Bee beamed deviously and confessed, "I made sure all the girls' rooms were bigger than the guys, cuz us girls you know, we need our space."

"That we do …" I responded distantly as I continued to survey the room and concluded there was no possible way X could penetrate through these walls. Titans East's Tower was a definite upgrade from Titans West. Reinforced steel walls with two feet thick concrete cement outer-linings, micro-vents that not even Mas y Menos could crawl through, tempered glass that was shatter, bullet, sound, and was that pressure proof? Did they expect this Tower to drop forty-thousand leagues into the sea or what? That, to me, was overkill.

I also noticed another thing that made me cringe, "No privet bathrooms huh?"

Bumble Bee shared my dismay with a shrug of defeat, "We have it in the works, but it's difficult to find a contractor honest enough to work on the Tower without snooping around, ya know."

_Ain't that the truth … _I silently agreed as I sighed heavily and asked solemnly, "Coed shower-rooms?"

Again she shrugged with a look of utter defeat, "You'll be sharing with Speedy and Robin, its back down the way we came you won't miss it I promise."

_Oh this is just spectacular._

_BEE-BEEP!!_

I looked up when Bumble Bee's communicator went off and I listened closely when she answered, "Bumble Bee here, go a head."

Speedy was on the other line and he sounded irritated, _"We got nothing, thanks for the wild-goose chase."_

"You're welcome, now come back to the Tower for a briefing; Robin and Raven have finally arrived."

"_Raven? Why her?"_

"Does it matter?"

"_Not any more … damn I was hoping Starfire would show, it'll be a change of pace from the usual witches I'm forced to deal with."_

"Speedy!"

"_Whatever, we're on our way."_ With that he hung up before Bumble Bee could scold him for the obviously rude comment he made about _'witches' _when the correct terminology would be sorceresses.

She looked up at me and smiled apologetically; I shook my head and disregarded her when she did apologize on Speedy's behalf. There was no point in apologizing for a jerk, a jerk is a jerk no matter how hard one may wish it to not be true, or how hard one would try to change said jerk. It's just asking for trouble, and personally I don't think it's right to try and change a jerk … but then again the jerk _I _was referring too was just fine with me. As a matter of fact, I didn't want him to change … for X to change would be changing the one reason why I was attracted to him to begin with.

He may be overbearing, even downright unbearable, but I liked it.

Is it strange for me to be more attracted to someone's flaws rather than their perfections?

Is it really a flaw at all?

Or is it merely the human quality in him I'm drawn to?

He wasn't perfect … he wasn't nice … he was … _human._

I could stand here and debate my attraction to X all day long (maybe even longer than that), but I had a job to do and that's to track down and capture him and Blackfire. Well, at least, pretend very, very hard to be into the chase and convince everyone around me I was just like everyone else that was a superhero. Actually, all I had to perform for was Robin, the other Titans didn't matter because they didn't know me thus they wouldn't feel inclined to investigate me like Terra had done.

I still can't believe I've been had (well … sort of) by that geomancer.

It completely blew my mind that she had made such a connection from Robin's odd behavior to ultimately witness me interacting with my secret _'civilian-boyfriend' _however was too dense to further her investigation and figure _who _my 'civilian-boyfriend' really was. Either she was very trusting and took my word for it (which no one should) or she wasn't cut out to be a Titan if she didn't at least suspect me of fowl-play. After all, the guy she saw me with wasn't _'Dodger Drayton' _it was with someone else … which lead me to ponder if Terra really didn't care, or was really very naïve.

My thoughts from then on randomly bounced back and forth from one topic to another for the next ten minutes while Bumble Bee, Robin and myself kick-back in the Control Room. I use the term kick-back, because Bumble Bee and Robin were really engaged in a conversation only understandable if one were a leader of something, while I sat at the table with my feet kicked up on one of the chairs and a book opened to help me relax while I waited. My eyes scanned the pages, read off the sentences, while my mind weaved the images of the story in my head as I finished off one chapter and proceeded to the next.

However, before I could finish one paragraph Aqualad and Speedy had finally arrived.

Although, judging by their posture I wasn't quite sure either were happy to see us, Bumble Bee inquired, "What took you guys so long?"

"Fish-boy over here had to lecture a bunch of innocent fish-marketers about the sever consequence of marine fishing, it took forever just to pry him off his frickin' soapbox." Speedy gruffly replied as he took his seat, which was the one I had my foot propped on, he jerked it so hard I almost didn't have enough time to sit up as I marked the spot in my book and closed it.

While across the table from me beside Bumble Bee, Aqualad scowled, "I was not lecturing or standing on any soapbox, I was merely enlightening the people on the importance of fish and the huge role they play in the ecosystem."

Speedy scowled back in response, "Which is what they are, _food."_

Aqualad pointed at him and staked his claim, "I take offence to that! You don't know what it's like to talk to sea-life –!"

"And I don't care to know either."

"Most of these fish I protect I've befriend! How would you like it if I ate your best friend?!"

_Eww … _I thought in disgust, while Speedy scoffed, "I'm sure Nemo appreciates your valiant efforts to protect all marine-life, but I'm sorry to say Nemo is just too delicious to pass up when starving. So sit down and stop whining."

"Are you completely lacking in all sensitivity?! Don't you care that all around the world sea-life is being threatened because of you humans over-fishing, and slaughtering helpless whales and dolphins for food, fake-medicinal cures, and phony lucky-charms?! Where's your heart for them?!"

Speedy sneered dismissively, "Jesus fucking Christ first there are the hippy-freaks that complain and complain about environmental issues and relentlessly hound the government to _Go Green _when they don't have a solution to the problem themselves. You think anyone is going to listen to you bitch about the end of all humanity because there's one too few fish out in the ocean? Please man, going Green is enough for me; don't force me to go Blue just for you!"

"_HEY!!" _Bumble Bee screamed to grab everyone's attention and to halt the argument before it escalated, which was too bad, I was actually enjoying that debate. Both sides brought up excellent points that I wanted to hear play out; unfortunately we still had other business to attend to. Bumble Bee glared at either offender and said, "Enough of the pro and con dispute for now, pick it up on your own time ladies, right now is my time so Robin, if you will."

With that she sat back down and Robin took the floor trying to hide the obvious amused smile on his face as he cleared his throat and Aqualad plopped back down in his chair with a defeated pout. Robin then went on to say, "Well … um … I guess I should start by thanking you guys for allowing us to come out here to conduct our investigation and I assure you there will be no need to alter your schedule. We'll be acting as additions to your team, participating in your training exercises, as well as assisting you anyway we can while we track down Red X and his accomplice. Your help will be greatly appreciated as well as needed and besides all that, it's good to see you guys again."

Speedy perked right up with a casual smirk, "Good to see you to man, but … who's Red X's accomplice? As far as I know him he doesn't seem the type to work with anyone else."

"Same here, but apparently we're wrong …" Robin sighed and bent down to pick up a small suitcase which he dropped on the table, unlocked, and opened. He then pulled out a few photos which he slid to all Titans East and Speedy, who was beside me happened to grab a photo of Blackfire riding on the back of Red X's bike.

The image may have been blurry, but it was enough to catch a shot of her face and Speedy arched a curious brow, "This chick looks like your girlfriend … what she do? Dye her hair? It's either that, or they're sisters …" He looked up at Robin and smirked, "They're sisters aren't they?"

Robin nodded and I couldn't help to inwardly snicker at that, he had a good eye if he was able to tell the relation based on looking at a blurry image. Speedy chuckled, "Well damn I knew hot girls were dangerous, she seems to take it to a whole 'nutha level."

Robin informed, "Her name is Blackfire and she's Starfire's older sister, exiled from her home planet for heinous crimes she's a criminal at best."

I scoffed, "You'll be paying attention to far more than just her looks if you ever get the chance to face her."

Speedy smirked and looked at me, his masked eyes narrowed as he gave me a look I've seen similar to something X would give me when he had a naughty idea in his head. A chill went down my spine at the intensity of his heated stare, but with a mask of indifference I sat there as he playfully jibed, "She sounds like my kinda girl."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."

"What? You don't like her?"

I sneered and with a straight face I said, "You kidding me, I absolutely adore her, she's my most bestest-friend in the whole world … but don't tell Robin he frowns on hero/villain relationships."

He snickered and held out his fist for me to pound in mock agreement, "You got my word."

I stared at the fist, and then turned to face Robin with a shrug, "Is the meeting over yet?"

With the same face I had stared at Speedy's fist dismissively Robin gave me the same look, only instead of being dismissive he too arched a curious brow and through our bond I felt him inquiring on my being friendly with Speedy. If he only knew the only reason why I was being _'friendly' _was because I was feeling him out … I wanted to know what kind of person he was, and if he were to catch me doing anything suspicious what action would he take. My room was just across from his, if he so happened to catch me sneaking out of my room in the middle of the night would he call me on it or not care?

So far, I was getting the impression that he wouldn't care.

However, he wasn't called a Robin-clone for nothing, so I had to be carful.

Robin held my gaze for a while, but then blinked away to look at Bumble Bee and nodded, "We're done here."

Bumble Bee smiled clasped her hands and stood up, "Alright then! So whaddya say we get this show on the road, bust out the drinks and let's paaaarrrrt –!!"

"No thanks," Robin cut her off suddenly, "I got a lot of work to do. I'll be using you guys' computer to cross reference a few government claims of UFOs entering the atmosphere in the last few weeks. Raven –"

"I know the drill," I quickly responded as I followed his example and stood up from my chair with my book in hand, "I'll patrol the city and get to know my surroundings incase something should come up."

"Uh, no, actually I was gonna ask you to join me in identifying a few things incase I spot anything that might be linked back to Tameran."

I blinked and propped my fist on my hip as I asked, "You think this has something to do with my capture?"

"No, but I do think it has something to do with Blackfire."

"… So are you _ordering _me to stay, or _asking _me?"

"… Asking …"

_Like it'll matter, you want me to slip up to give you a reason to interrogate me, _I thought bitterly and refrained from glaring in frustration as I opened my mouth to consent to his _'asking' _me to help him. That is until Speedy spoke up with a gruff scoff, "Jeez, don't you birds ever relax? You guys just got here and it's all about business, chill a little will ya come on."

Robin frowned at his interjection, mainly because he knew this gave me more time to think of a way out, "Blackfire's beckon went offline two days ago, every hour we waste is an hour that could be spent tracking her down, that's valuable time we can't afford to lose where Red X is concerned."

Speedy, with equally narrowed eyes squared off with Robin … something I don't see happening too often in Titans Tower Jump City. Usually it's me doing all the troublemaking, maybe Speedy is a little more hot-headed than I gave him credit for, "If you've never caught him before what makes you think you'll find him the instant you log onto that computer?"

"I don't expect to solve the case in an instant, Speedy, I just think that if we manage to get ahead someway, maybe then we won't be sideswiped if ever Blackfire and Red X strike somewhere unexpected."

That's when I cut in, "What makes you think they're planning a heist?"

"My gut, and you know Red X almost as well as I do Raven, he doesn't just lay low for a few months then suddenly pops back into the radar without reason … he always has a reason, always has a plan."

Speedy scoffed, "Still don't see why you have to subject your lacky here to your obsessive drive to win everything." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, I blinked bewildered as he all but leaned on me to say, "You really haven't changed a bit, have you."

It was more a statement than a question, and so was my next response, "If you value that arm, get it off me, now."

In an instant he backed off, and Robin huffed in exasperation, "Look, Speedy, this really doesn't concern you; the question was directed at Raven, so Raven are you going to help me or not?"

Again I opened my mouth to reply, but Speedy cut me off with a crude, "You put it that way you might was well be pointing a gun to her head, what kind of request is that?"

He had a point, but I shook my head as I felt Robin's frustration level rising and I didn't want to be the cause of some unnecessary fight, "Enough," I walked to Robin, away from Speedy and eyed the archer warningly, "As much as I'm sure he appreciates your _kind _offer to relax, he's right."

Speedy scoffed dismissively and shrugged nonchalantly, "He usually is … don't expect anything less from a Bat-trained birdbrain."

With narrowed eyes I flat out asked, "Do you have something against Robin that I should know about, because if so I don't want any part of it."

On the side Aqualad spoke up with a tired sigh, "He's an instigator; he likes to start trouble _Poseidon_ knows why."

Speedy pouted, "I don't start trouble, I call it as I see it."

Aqualad sneered, "Right, so …"

So the argument proceeded as such as Robin softly called me to his side and I glanced at him in acknowledged before I turned back to narrow my eyes on Speedy while that word echoed in my head, _Instigator …_ Speedy was an instigator. He did like to start trouble, but the thing was that he started trouble with the wrong people particularly those he considered his friends and his colleagues. Now why do that unless one was afraid of getting too close to the people he was already close to. That didn't sound like a very Speedy thing to do … as a matter of fact, it sounded a lot like something I've done, and I'm still doing to this very day.

Only, I push people away now because I'm afraid of what the repercussions would be if it was found out about my sins.

I could deal with the consequences: jail, revoked status, etc … but what I can't deal with is the shame and the hatred that might form within the people I once shared meals with.

The people I laughed with.

The people who cared about me.

No … I can't deal with that kind of guilt.

The point here that I am trying to make is: was Speedy, like me, hiding something as dire as my resentment towards my job and my obligation?

Or was that just my wishful thinking?

Did I want to see in him what I saw in myself to help lift this seclusion from my shoulders, the belonging-syndrome where one would connect with another under a false sense of security?

Was I that pathetic?

Maybe I was, but I didn't linger on it, I turned my back on the arguing duo and followed Robin to the computer with a clear head. It was dangerous to think of the possibilities of another Titan suffering the same delusional state of in denial as I was, much less start to see it in a Titan such as Speedy, _that _was instigating trouble.

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the teen titans, or titans east, dc owns'em**

**A/N: YAY!! They're in Steel City finally!! :) …. And …. I have nothing left to say, so drop me a review or a comment or a question and we'll wait to see what happens next.**

**L8er daez**


	17. Cloak and Dagger

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Cloak and Dagger**

_Fifty-five … fifty-six … fifty-seven … fifty-eight … fifty-nine … twelve a.m. … _Finally, I can exit this confounded Tower to track down X.

I knew for a fact Robin had stuck himself in his room to go over every file he could find involving every stolen artifact, trying to link to X or Blackfire desperately (obsessively) looking for _anything _to pin them down. I'll let him have his fun, but don't get me wrong I was still just as anxious of him finding something that'll implicate me in any criminal activities involving the two thieves. I just needed to get to the bottom of this before Robin so I know what I'm dealing with, dressed lightly and loosely incase anything should go down I peeked my head out my room and looked up and down the hall for any sign of life.

There was none.

Speedy's door looked permanently shut, and the entire Tower was silent.

Perfect.

I slid the rest of the way out of my room, silently closed the door and turned around to leave, but then a tiny gasp escaped my lips when Speedy's door suddenly slid open. _Damnit! This is what I get for not studying the Titans East sleeping patterns close enough. _Wide-eyed and frozen in anxiety I watched him casually walk out naked as the day he was born with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and his mask still over his eyes. Eyes that connected with mine after he too stopped in the hall to gaze back at me in confusion, I blinked and refrained from succumbing to my girlish-desire to ogle at his very, _very _nicely toned body. His muscles were all in the right place and with each slight movement I could see it ripple under his skin, no wonder he had a large fan-base.

Made me wonder if X was just as delicious, _Azar, don't think that! _

My cheeks flushed, I don't know how red, but I could feel my face and ears get hot and no it wasn't because I was suddenly feeling shy around the thought of naked guys, no, far from it. I was just embarrassed where my thoughts went while standing awkwardly in the middle of the hall busted for sneaking out in the middle of the night. I had to gain control of this fast before Speedy asked too many questions, so quickly coming up with an excuse I opened my mouth, but just before I could utter a single syllable Speedy spoke up, "Whoa … where are you going?"

"Into the city," _Keep it short, keep it simple …_

Speedy arched a suspicious brow and took a step closer to me, his door was further down the hall and our voices were raised higher than even I'd like it to be, so I was semi-thankful he moved forward, but the awkward tension between us grew thicker as he said, "Robin and I had already patrolled the city earlier."

Lucky me he didn't know me as well as Robin and neither did he know how to play our game so sidestepping him made it all the more easier for me to calmly and discreetly control the outcome of this unfortunate meeting, "I know, but I want to personally check it out to acquaint myself with my surroundings."

Predictably he responded skeptically, "At this late night?"

Now it was time to see if he really would brush me off, so I countered, "Is there a problem with that?"

He scoffed and shrugged, "None that I know of, but does Robin know where you're going?"

"No, and I'd rather he not know …" _Hook, line, and sinker, _I knew I was in the clear the moment I sensed his aura shrug dismissively, so I relaxed a bit and my eyes happened to trail over his still unclothed body and my previous thoughts rushed back to me. I struggled to get control of my embarrassment while I stepped back to get away from him, "… Look, I'm not accustom to talking to naked-guys in the middle of the hallway so I'm gonna go now …"

He followed me with a playful smirk, "Does my nakedness make you uncomfortable?"

I sneered, "Very …"

He chuckled, "I'm wearing a towel."

"Kinda hard to miss that …" by now he was at my side and through the corner of my eye I glared at him and his grinning face. A few more stepped and with narrowed eyes I stopped and locked him with a dark look that would have sent his towel scuttling for cover, thankfully the towel was an inanimate object so I was spared the shock and horror. However, Speedy himself wasn't so lucky when I growled, "Why are you following me?"

He arched a mocking brow then said with a finger pointed over my head, "Uh … because I'm going to the shower-room …" _Oh please don't be where I think it is … _I glanced over my shoulder and much to my embarrassment the coed shower-room door was just behind me. Speedy then leaned forward and mockingly whispered, "Kinda hard to miss that …"

Tonight, I have come to realize, is just not my night, my observation skills seem to be failing me and I've been making a fool of myself left and right. I had to get my shit together now before I really did something stupid, so I sighed heavily and looked up at him apologetically, "Right …"

He nodded, "Yah-huh …"

"… I should go …"

"If you have to …"

I got the impression of a clock ticking and tocking in the distance as I slowly moved out of his way to continue down the hall with what little dignity I had left to spare. I may not know Speedy well enough to work his corners, but I think I just gave him the impression that deep down inside I was just like any other girl he could charm the pants off of. He'll be getting a rude awakening later if he ever plans to get to know me better for I wasn't a very easy person to talk to. X knew it … Robin knew it … hell my whole team knew it, and so with my head held high I was one step from completing my turn around the corner when Speedy called to me, "Hey Raven …"

I was actually surprised he knew my name, yet despite this thought I stopped and turned to face him thinking that he had some snide remark he wanted to make about joining him later in the shower for a get-to-know-you party, but I couldn't be more wrong. His mysteriously masked eyes narrowed on me and I don't know when or how it happened, but the entire hallway suddenly grew so cold a physical chill raced down my spine. That look … it was enough to give Robin's glare a run for his money, but that's the thing … it wasn't a glare … it was just a look.

A blank, emotionless look that installed the fear of God in me … even his tone was nothing to joke about, it made me snap at attention when all he wanted to say was, "See ya at practice tomorrow …"

_Practice? _No, no, no … there was an underlining message hidden beneath the context of his words.

He was warning me … or was he threatening me?

Damn, did I get my judgment of Speedy's character all wrong?

Inwardly I bit down on my lower lip till I felt it bleed, but outwardly I nodded in affirmation, "Goodnight."

"…" he stared at me for a little longer, before he gave his own nod and disappeared into the shower-room, leaving me in paranoia.

I felt that my world had suddenly gotten smaller, events were pushing me into corners that I could not escape from … everyone was out to get me … and I had no where to run or hide.

I was blatantly fucked.

--

As fast as I could, I got the hell out of dodge and raced myself deep into the heart of Steel City where I hoped no one else from the Tower discovered my absents and decided to follow me. Speedy may have installed a paranoiac fear within me, but I couldn't let that cloud my better rational mind that logically worked out and planned my next string of movements to again get in touch with X. The card he had given me with the number written on it I had burned and put the number to memory. Ever since that night I had gazed upon that card 83 times and before departing to Steel City looked upon it once more to be sure I had it down.

Now all I had to do was get to a payphone about half an hour away from the Tower, so I didn't stop driving (I _'borrowed' _Robin's motorcycle) till I was as far from Titans East as I could manage. However, it was kind of hard to judge distance since Titans East's Tower was at the base of a cliff … but it didn't matter. I already had a set destination in mind, the busiest payphones in the city that I looked up was the subway, so once I found an underground opening I stopped, parked the bike, and traversed the stairway. Forgoing the pay-booth, I jumped the gate and stepped into the empty platform.

Discreetly I checked my surroundings to be sure I was alone (besides the bum snoozing in the corner that is) I headed for the line of payphones and picked up. Paying my due I dialed in the number reciting it in my head, _671-5683 … _I repeated the number over and over again in my head as I waited for X to pick up.

One …

Two …

On the third ring, someone answered, _"Hello?"_

But it wasn't X … I pulled the phone from my ear to stare at it incredulously for a moment, it was a female's voice … very soft, very fragile, so much so that I was afraid that if I raised my voice at her she'd crumble into nothing. Yet, the funny thing was, she wasn't a child, I could tell her tone didn't carry that of a kid or of a teenager, I treaded carefully … for all I knew this could have been X's girlfriend. My jaw clenched at the thought, but I relaxed long enough to bring the phone back to my ear to say, "Uh … hello, is this 671-5683?"

"_Yes it is, and who might this be?"_ She asked so sweetly.

So I replied dryly, "Rae Roth."

"_Rae Roth? Rae … Roth … as in Ray Fox's friend?"_

_Ray Fox? Who the hell is … _I interrupted myself when I realized that Ray was short for Dray and Dray was short for Drake … Drake Fox, X's real name, but how did this girl know me? _Who _was this girl for starters, still treading carefully I answered, "Uh, yes … that's correct, who's this?"

She giggled, _"Oh, hello Rae, I don't know if you remember me, I'm Kayla from Carmen's birthday."_

Kayla? Kayla! It all came back to me and I nodded, "Oh, right, Kayla … Orion's girlfriend … right?"

She giggled again, _"Yep, that's me … one of the Vixens as Vince would like to refer to us as."_

_Why the hell would X give me the number to his brother's place … assuming Kayla lives with him of course … but she must be since she's pregnant with his kid … but then again I'm assuming that's his kid … ugh, whatever! _I tried not to delve into their privet matters, but it still bothered me that X would endanger the lives of his family. For all I know these phone lines could be tapped and if anyone found out X was staying with his brother (who I'm assuming lives in Steel City) Orion and Kayla's lives would be ruined! I couldn't live with that kind of guilt, so I tried to make this fast, "Right, listen, Kayla, is Drake there? I really need to talk to him."

"_Ray? Uh … no, he isn't here, why would he be? He lives in Jump City … and the last I heard of him he was still there. Is everything alright?"_

_What the hell is X playing at? _With narrowed eyes I shook my head and stalled for time to think, why would X give me the number to his brother's place? "Uh, yeah, everything is fine with me. It's just Drake gave me this number to call if ever I find myself in Steel City, so … you live in Steel?"

"_Orion and I, yes, did you just arrive at Steel City? Do you need a place to stay? I'm sure Orion and I could accommodate you."_

"Oh-no, I couldn't impose, besides I already found a place, I'm just trying to figure out why Drake would give me your number. You have any ideas?"

"_Well … to be honest, Drake is one of the Fox brothers that I know close to nothing about, I hardly – if ever – see him or hear about him at all. The only information I get is from what Bella tells me and even that's not enough to classify him in any category, but whenever I do see him he always seems to have everything planned out. The prepared-for-anything type, you know?" _She paused to breath and I let the information sink in, what she said partially made sense, X does seem to be prepared for everything, but I also wondered if it was just an illusion. Maybe he only seems to be prepared for everything because he was quick on his feet and a fast thinker, for all we knew he could just be making shit up as he goes along.

Azar, I hoped this wasn't the case … I couldn't afford it if he so happened to slip or trip over his own two feet because he was stupid enough to believe everything will work out if we wish really, really hard for it to. I listened as Kayla sighed and said, _"Who knows Rae maybe he gave you the number as a just-in-case kind of thing … what are you in Steel for if you don't mind my asking."_

"Uh …" _Come on, think, think, think! _Just when I came up with a lie that was good enough to work I heard a deep voice, it was a man no question about it, but he was distant, probably from somewhere else in the house.

"_La-La! Who's on the phone?"_

"_It's Rae Roth, Ray's friend."_

"…" he said something the receiver didn't pick up, but there was shuffling, and then suddenly he was very close to the speaker, and he didn't sound too happy, _"Gimme the phone."_

"_Uh … alright … um, Rae I hope you don't mind, but Orion wants to speak with you."_

_Wonder what he wants, _"It's okay."

"_Alright …"_ more shuffling, this time it was the phone being passed to Orion and once he dominated the receiver I was certain he wasn't happy about my calling.

"_Yeah, Rae? It's Orion; you got a paper and pen with you?"_

I patted down my pockets, but then paused and grabbed the stringed pen in the booth and tore out a slip of paper from the beaten and battered phonebook, with the phone tucked between my ear and my shoulder I gave him the signal, "Got'em."

"_Alright, listen up cuz I'm only gonna say this once, 876-8253, ask for Kimmy and don't ever call this number again. Got it?"_

"Got it."

"_Good, and make sure you call that number on a different phone, in a different location."_

With that he hung up and I got the feeling X used Orion to conduct business on more than one count … no wonder Orion and X's relationship seemed to be tittering on a tightrope. I frowned at that thought, perhaps, just for the sake of Kayla I'll talk to X about using a different contact line. There was just something so wrong about forcing his brothers to assist him in his illegal-activities. I'm pretty sure his family (especially Orion in particular) weren't entirely blind to his _'night-job';_ hell they all knew Jeremiah was a magic-user – a battle-mage by my observation – and they all knew what Malchior was and they appeared to be fine with him.

Except for Orion, from what I can recall from Carmen's birthday party, Orion seemed to be the only one with his head on straight. He had a respectable amount of fear in him about the dragon and myself whereas everyone else either treated Malchior like a good friend of the family or an exotic pet. That thought made me shake my head as I again dismounted the motorcycle after I found another place with a payphone, this time it was near a gas-station that was still open at this late at night.

I ignored the man inside curiously as I approached his phone, paid my change, dialed the number in my pocket, then ripped it up and tossed it in nearby trashcan. The phone rang for quite awhile before someone finally picked up; it was a grown disgruntled man that wasn't happy I disturbed his sleep, _"What?!"_

"Yeah, hi, can I speak with Kimmy?"

He grumbled, _"Yeah, right … hold on – Kimmy!"_

A woman, further away from the receiver responded in annoyance, _"What?!"_

"_It's for you!"_

"_Who is it?!"_

"_Hell if I know just pick up the damn phone woman!"_

"_Asshole …" _the rest of the dispute went incomprehensible to me before this Kimmy woman finally addressed me, _"So who the hell is this and why should I care?"_

_Should I tell this woman who I am? _My instincts told me not to, but being cautious was going to get me no where, "Uh … this is Rae Roth and I was –"

"_Oh so you're the Rae-chick."_

"… I guess …"

"_Okay, so nut-job on the street comes up to me and hands me a Benjamin right on the spot. Says I'm gonna get a call from some chick named Rae Roth, you, and tells me the hundred is mines if I give you a message ya know. And I'm like, no way, then he hands me another hundred up front and says to me he'll give me another two-hundred after you've called. I'm like, 'This guys nuts', but what the hell right, so I take the money thinking he's out of a couple hundred bucks, but low and behold you call. Mind telling me what's so special between the two of yaz?"_

I sighed heavily after her life-story and shook my head, "I'd rather not."

"_Figyaz."_

I shrugged impatiently, "So what's the message?"

"_Oh yeah, um, downtown at da corner of Freeman and Avenue 24."_

"…"

"…"

"… That's it?"

"_That's it, hey, do ya know if this hair-brain is gonna be payin me or what? I could really use the money."_

"…" I hung up the phone and cursed softly to myself, _Freeman and Avenue 24 … that's sixteen blocks from here … damn it X. _I don't know Steel City as much as I should, but I knew Freeman and Avenue 24. It was in an industrial part of the city on the outskirts of the Callie Strip, otherwise known as Party Boulevard where all the hottest nightclubs and boutiques were stationed. The only reason why I knew this was because at some point in time Starfire and Bumble Bee thought it might be a grand idea to drag me along for a little shopping trip, needless to say, Jinx was the one driving and had taken a wrong turn.

What a coincidence X would know the exact corner Jinx had stopped to get her bearings while Starfire and I had left the car to grab some drinks and snacks from the nearby corner-shop. This, of course, had happened a couple of months before my 18th birthday, and before X and I became friends … so did that mean X had been watching me before hand? Possibly … maybe … who knew, I didn't, and quite frankly I don't think I want to know, the idea that X had me scoped out made me uncomfortable. So I tried to block the thought from my mind as I pulled up to the exact same corner beside a telephone-booth, straddling the bike I looked up and all around the quiet, empty streets searching for signs of activity.

A few cars parked here and there in front of six-story, four-story, three story buildings that seemed to be old worn out business buildings. More graffiti littered the walls then there were trash scattered over the streets … steam emitted from the alleyways, and the occasional squealing rat echoed through the quiet neighborhood. I looked up again at all the blackened windows that bore down on me, _Too many to search … _for all I knew someone could be watching me from those windows.

Tapping my finger on the gas-tank of the bike in thought, I glanced at the phone-booth and frowned as I kicked the kick-stand and dismounted to cautiously approach the phone. I ran my fingers all along the sides and edges of the booth, searching for something, anything, some sort of clue as to what to do next. When I found nothing outside, I pushed the door open and stepped in, carefully I pushed open the roof of the phone-booth and felt around the top to find nothing … I then picked up the phone and pressed it to my ear.

There was a dial tone.

But no phone-book.

I huffed and hung the phone back on its hook as I stepped out of the booth to glare up and down the streets, _Come on X, enough of the games already!_ Right on cue, the phone rang … I glared at it, then stepped into the booth and with one last glare at all the windows looking down on me I picked it up. His voice though it quelled my unsettled heart, only served to anger me with his arrogant snickering, _"You just couldn't let me go, could you Rae."_

"Where are you." I demanded rather than asked with my patience wearing thin.

"_Around …"_

I growled, "I've completed your little scavenger hunt, the least you could do is tell me what's with the cloak-and-dagger routine!"

Nonchalantly he replied, _"Just a minor precaution sunshine, wanna make sure you weren't followed."_

I scoffed, "By who? Titans East? Robin? You're about as paranoid as he is and I would never jeopardize us both by being careless, don't insult my intelligence."

"_Wasn't trying to …" _I huffed in exasperation as I could feel him smirking at me on the other line, _"Relax Raven the world isn't ending okay, I'll see you soon."_

I grinded my teeth together as my grip on the phone tightened, it was easy for him to tell me to relax when all the cards were in his favor and I was stuck with nothing, but having a shouting match about his aloof attitude was not going to get me anywhere. So I swallowed my agitation with a deep breath and an even slower exhale, "How soon X …"

"_Soon."_

The line went dead and I pulled the phone from my ear to stare at it and then gently (in spite of my frustrations) set it back on its hook with my head bowed and my brows furrowed in frustration. I was being impatient … but damn it all why did he have to be such a jerk?! I refrained from smash the telephone booth to smithereens as I stepped out of it to once again glare at every window around me trying to guess where the hell X was and what other obstacle he was going to put me through this time.

I soon got my wish when I whirled around at the sound of a starting car engine, down the street from me where not too far away headlights flashed on, a car parked between two other vehicles started and slowly pulled out onto the street. I slowly approached my bike as I watched the generic sports car (Mazda RX8, royal-blue, or a toy-car as I'd like to call it) roll down the street, towards me, but it didn't stop. With its pitch black tint and sleek-shiny appearance I realized it was sooo out of place in an industrial area that it was too suspicious to pass up … but it was also too suspicious to follow. _It could be a trick … _I thought to myself, but as I watched the vehicle stroll though the intersection I huffed and shrugged dryly, _Screw it … what's the worse that could happen now? _

If I'm gonna steal the last cookie from the cookie jar, I might as well take the whole damn jar.

I hopped back onto Robin's motorcycle, started it up and followed the car at a reasonable distance. It lead me straight to the Callie Strip, but not into its heart, the driver stopped on the outskirts just before an alleyway that was between a nightclub called The Caribbean and an old abandoned warehouse. Daring to park directly behind the vehicle I watched as thee bodies came out of the car, two of which were a couple that stumbled over one another as they headed for the club, but the driver … the third wheel. He slowly climbed out of the car and looked back at me with a deadly blank stare and without any other form of acknowledgement he slammed his door shut, locked the car and walked into the alley with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket.

With narrowed eyes I maneuvered the bike around the car and rolled into the alley, I parked it beside the warehouse and as I stood inside the alleyway I watched the man with short greasy black hair walk to the end of it. He stood before a padlocked 20ft gate with crates piled in front of it as if to prevent anyone from opening it, yet, it didn't phase him … and why should it? Right before my eyes he leapt into the air as high as the length of the gate and with one hand grabbed the top, flipped over and dropped on the other side … I scowled, _What the hell is this?_

I glanced around to be sure no one else was watching, eyed the side door of the nightclub suspiciously and ignoring the loud thrumming pulse of the heavy techno music I levitated into the air, over the gate and gently came down on the other side. However, the grass was no greener on the other side and the man I had been following was nowhere insight, that is, until I looked up at the fire escape to the nightclub and I saw him nimbly traversing the ladders and steps. Seeing no point in climbing I flew after him and dropped down in front of him just as he climbed to the second floor of the nightclub, with my arms crossed and my eyes darker than night, I scowled, "Who are you?"

He looked down at me blankly – he was a good few inches taller than me – blinked his glassy black eyes as his greasy black hair fell in front of his face and then with a shrug gave me a half-assed attempt at a smirk and leapt over the rail to crouch before the window to my right. Without hesitation he opened it, but just before he entered he looked over his shoulder and said with a voice as deep as the ocean trench and just as mysterious, "Names Lucas … I'm from Azarath too …"

I furrowed my brows, my mouth slowly fell open in an attempt to form a response to his confession, but none came. He never waited for me to say anything either, instead he silently slipped through the window and not knowing what else to do I followed in after him.

**--**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or X … but I do own our newest player Lucas**

**A/N: Truth be told if you're still reading this story (and you know who you are) I've also noticed Speedy has been a crutch to support the main relationship of certain stories and I'm honestly trying not to do that … but we'll have to wait and see where this story takes us. So far, I think (hopefully) I've gotten over the harder part of the story to move along, but I can't really be sure … =/ … we shall see …**

**L8er daez**


	18. Titans

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Titans**

I expected to enter into some empty office space just above the raging party downstairs, but instead I found myself standing on what looked to be a large platform. Over head was an arched glass ceiling that stretched the entire length of the building and was clear enough to look up into the skies.

This Lucas character stood in the middle of the platform waiting for me to take in the unique sunroof, and then with a jerk of his head gestured to the railing that overlooked literally the rest of what could be a run down studio or a warehouse. There were no walls, and no other rooms to designate anything as a kitchen, living-room, etc. Just an open floor plan with the kitchen on the far-side of the studio, a couch and a small TV propped on some kind of nightstand in the center of the floor-plan and a bed just below the platform I stood on.

I could see straight down to it through the steel floor-paneling and someone was laying on it … she was a girl, I could tell through the shape, but other than that her image was obscured. So I stood beside Lucas as I leaned out over the rail as far as I could to look under the platform, and there I saw Blackfire dressed in one of X's brown collared shirts. I knew it was X's shirt because he told me it was his favorite shirt. The one with the golden Oriental-Dragon swirling over the right shoulder with a large yin-yang symbol on the back, but she appeared to be wearing nothing else under it, I sneered.

No, I wasn't jealous … I don't get jealous … I was above jealousy … but for some reason seeing her in that shirt, laying on his bed, with his black-and-white Bose earphones on bobbing her head to whatever she was listening to on his iPod _agitated _me to no end.

"Hmm …" Lucas hummed and tore me out of my agitation as I look up at him and watched him narrow his glassy-black eyes as he scanned his surroundings, he then blinked and dryly said, "That's strange … he's suppose to be here …"

I arched a brow, "By _he _I assume you mean …"

He looked at me and nodded, "X … this is his place … when he's not working in Jump City that is …"

"So I noticed …" my eyes scanned Lucas from head to toe, and unable to hold my gaze he looked off into the abyss content to keep to himself. _Quiet … reserved …_ so far Lucas seemed to be lacking in personality, and lacking in information. So I figured since X wasn't here I'd prod Lucas into telling me more about himself and how he knows me (I don't exactly tell everyone I'm from a different dimension, it's not something that's casually mentioned in everyday conversation), "… Who are you?"

He spared me a glance before he leaned on the rail and sighed heavily and droned, "I already told you …"

I tilted my head and I too leaned on the rail, but on my elbows with my back facing the studio, "That's not telling much …"

He frowned and looked away from me with a bored shrug, "Maybe I don't want to tell you anything …"

"I'm not one to judge."

"… I'm a sorcerer …"

Common knowledge, most of the people from Azarath are either magically gifted or have studied the arts enough to be considered too dangerous to set loose here on Earth, like me, "So am I … but that's still not telling much either …"

His jaw clenched and unclenched, I could see the muscle under his skin move as he shifted from one foot to the other and then, as if in defeat, he sighed again and stood up. I followed his motion, only to look down from his black eyes to where his hand lifted up his hoodie on his left side to show me a black tribal tattoo that crawled over the entire length of his side. For a moment I thought it was a snake … until I saw its dual claws scrapping into his flesh and then its head turned towards his heart spouting out what would only be symbolized as flames from a dragon's mouth.

The fire of Hell that'll consume his heart as he slowly gives in to the beast that lurked around the corner. That's what his tattoo represented, just as my raven was drawn flying southward into the bowels of the underworld, these tattoos were a clear sign to any who understood there meanings that we were cursed. I looked up into his eyes after scrutinizing his brand and saw the glassiness become even more so reflective so I couldn't see into his soul as he straightened out his hoodie and shrugged, "Just as every child born with a demonic heritage has their future read I was no different, the monks predicted a terrible fate bestowed upon me and marked me as _Tekzy Shta …"_

"… Soul Stealer …" I narrowed my eyes in confusion and shook my head, "But you don't have any demonic blood in you … I don't sense it …"

Dryly, he shrugged and droned, "I don't expect you to … I'm not, nor have I ever been a demon … not even a half-breed by standards."

I grew even more confused, "But then why –"

"I said I was born with a demonic heritage, my mother had tampered with arcane demonic magic in an attempt to birth a child with the strength of a demon … needless to say she succeeded, but at a high price. I stole her soul to sustain my life the moment of my birth, and my father would have nothing to do with me after which he gave me to the monks of Azarath."

Oh, now I see … his mother was an idiot.

I frowned as it all came together for me, apparently Lucas was far more dangerous than he let on. The evil that shrouded his being cloaked his human aura so if any that were not as sensitive as I was in reading people would have mistaken him to be a demon. When really, his mother just cursed him with the blessing of demonic power (cruel irony), "You steal souls to live …" I uttered mostly to myself in thought while inwardly I concluded, _So the tattoo is not breathing fire … it's eating … _

I'm not well versed in symbolic spells that involved the tattooing of the flesh, the only ones I was familiar with were subjugation spells and that was only because I've heard the monks on numerous occasion threaten to scar me with one if I did not learn to control my emotions. Spells involving tattoos were of the most permanent and dangerous kind, for if the symbol was written incorrectly it could prove to be disastrous. Speaking of disasters, I narrowed my eyes and glared suspiciously at the unemotional Lucas that could give me a run for my money and asked, "You said the monks predicted some kind of terrible event that would take place … has it come to pass?"

That's when the depth of his insanity flashed through the reflective glassiness of his black eyes and the hidden monster Lucas really was revealed itself to me. I tensed for battle; Lucas was a soul-eater and from what I've gathered in my studies soul-eaters could consume their prey with a single touch. That's not to say soul-eaters were common, because if that were true this world and Azarath would have one serious population problem. But in any case not only would my powers be useless against him, I would be physically outmatched since he had the strength of a demon thanks to his _loving _mother.

So if I were to really go toe-to-toe with him I'd have to let _my _demon dominate my mind and my demon wasn't known to be the most controlled being in the history of history.

I just wanted to know why the hell X would associate himself with someone like Lucas.

Furthermore, how the hell did these two meet?!

Lucas and X were the most unlikely duo to ever have been conjured into being, it didn't make sense.

My thoughts were grinded to a halt when Lucas bowed his head to hide his maddened grin and after about a minute of his shuddering frame and trembling shoulders I concluded that he wasn't trying to control the power-crazed looney-toon within him. He was trying to stop himself from laughing. I frowned when he sucked in a deep breath, held it in and then released the tension in his shoulders before he looked down at me with the same glassy-guarded black eyes and this time a lazy smile spread across his face.

If I didn't already know he was nuts I'd have thought he looked quite handsome, even the dryness of his words betrayed no hint of his psychosis as he answered my question, "It has … I consumed my entire village to saturate my starvation for the energy the monks had me eat was not nearly enough to quench my thirst …"

I gulped and glared, "You regret none of it …"

He shrugged, back to his dry, boring, blunt, expressionless self he again leaned on the rail, "Regret is a six letter word … and I can't regret what has been foretold …"

I took a stab in the dark, "You were banished from Azarath."

"No … I left, I figured I was going to be executed for my heinous crime so I escaped to Earth …"

I honestly wondered how long ago that was … Lucas, to me, looked no older than 20-something and stealing souls was the only way he'd be able to stay alive. I inwardly shuddered when I realized his body-count must have been staggering. "… How many people have you killed?"

He arched a brow and with a blank look he stared at me, "You think I should be punished for my actions?"

I noticed he didn't say _crime _or _sin … _he really didn't care about the innocent souls he took to sustain his own gluttonous greed. The righteous girl in me didn't like that injustice, "I think, you should answer to those who do not deserve your cruelty."

"Cruelty? The monks were the ones that left me to my fate and did nothing to help aid me in controlling what I am … and you think I'm the cruel one? What did the monks do to assist you in your hour of need?"

"…" Blank … that's all I was getting from him, his aura didn't even flare up in anger or passionate protest, he was just a blank slate, completely neutral and that's what disturbed me. His hatred for the monks was rooted so deep in the depths of his core that he honestly believed he was guilty of nothing and the monks were the ones to blame. His hatred was what fueled him and what kept him alive … that kind of hatred … it's cold … unfeeling … and lifeless.

He then closed his eyes and turned away from me to again stare off into the abyss, "Just as I thought … they did nothing …"

That wasn't entirely true … the monks, though they were bastards in their own right for openly discriminating and encouraging public prejudice-affairs against my mother and me the monks did teach me enough magic and tricks to stay alive. However, I wasn't going to argue with Lucas, trying to convince him otherwise was pointless when his hatred blocked his hearing.

So for a while we stood there on the platform still unnoticed by Blackfire (or ignored, either which didn't matter to me) and we listened to the heavy techno music that vibrated through the walls while the bass pulsed like a heartbeat pushing pressure into our eardrums. Lucas seemed content and void, I was a bit on edge and skeptical with nothing left to say after I discovered this Azarian was a killer. What do you say to that? How do you respond when instinct told you to arrest him, when your heart told you to pity him, but your head told you not to bother? I sighed heavily and decided to listen to my head, to just let it go and play the passive-indifferent card.

Lucas wasn't my problem.

So I listened to the thrumming bass-line occasionally picking up on the electronic voice that added to the mystic, something about _'Love …' _ and _'Shadows …'_ yet despite the generic lyrics the overall sound was something I could (if I were in the mood) dance to. But then a new rhythm entered the mix, one that did not flow with the beat, Lucas seemed to senses it the same as I and together we looked up through the sunroof. A dark shadow cast over the night-sky and with a heavy beating of the shadow's large wings it landed with a _thud _on the roof beside the window. I narrowed my eyes, "Malchior?"

I watched as the window's latch lifted and X dropped into the studio on the platform to stand before Lucas and me. I couldn't help to notice simultaneously the previous techno song I was listening to switched and the bass was the only thing that dominated the building as the vibration grew heavier. It made me inwardly shiver while I noticed X's hair was in disarray and his clothes all jumbled, no doubt from riding Malchior's back as said dragon morphed into his human form and also dropped into the studio. He flinched and I'm sure if the dragon had ears atop his head it would be flat against his head in an expression of discomfort from the loud music.

X greeted us with his usual cocky smirk, a wink and his signature two finger salute, Malchior settled for a mute nod of acknowledgement while he stood to the side trying to adjust to the booming bass-line. X chuckled and addressed me, "Heh, I see you and L have already met, enjoy each other's company?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and sneered, "_Enjoy_ is not exactly the word I'd use; I'm actually more curious to how you two met, it can't be mere coincidence that you somehow got in touch with a soul-eater – no offence –"

Lucas shook his head, "None taken."

"And somehow have him working for you."

X chuckled and smirked deviously as he stalked me and forced me to lean back against the rail as he trapped me there with his hands placed on either side of me to keep me in place. His eyes gleamed mockingly at me as he said, "Ever wonder if maybe _I'm _the one that's in _his _debt?"

I frowned and cast Lucas a suspicious glance which he didn't return, but instead stared off into his imaginary abyss as he leaned against the far wall with his hands in the pockets of his jacket and his head tilted and bowed ever so slightly. I could hardly imagine what it was X did to piss him off, and I honestly didn't want to know, whatever it was I'm sure Lucas had every right to hold a grudge against X for X wasn't exactly the nicest guy in the world. Nor was he the most easiest to get along with, I looked back up at the thief when I felt him reach a hand up to finger a tendril of loose hair that I failed to capture in my hasty braiding before I embarked on my journey to him.

Yet, he lost interest in that single tendril and instead looked down at me again with a renewed smirk of mischief in his golden eyes. It made me want to tear out my hair and stomp the ground in frustration and disbelief at the fact that all he had to do was give me this one look and most of my suspicions against him were wiped clean. It annoyed me to no end that I can never seem to hate or distrust X as much as I should every time I'm near him … I swear to whatever God it was he prayed to he will be the death of me.

Though most of my suspicions subsided, I refused to fully submit to his charm and instead challenged him with a new string of questions that I also needed answered, my tone of voice dimmed, but the sharpness of my direct question did not dull, "Where've you been?"

His grin grew as he shrugged and leaned forward so his face was shamelessly close to mine and his lips were a hair's width away from a quick kiss that I could already feel the tingling sensation shoot down my spine and flow throughout the rest of my body. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I knew X was doing this in front of Malchior on purpose … probably trying to get back at the dragon for what he saw at Carmen's birthday maybe? I hardly know, I hardly _ever_ know what really goes on in X's head, and I wish I did if only to understand what it was about him that I just couldn't let go.

"Does it matter anymore?" He whispered only so I could hear with thick amusement laced in his words, yet weaved within it was a good amount of genuine sincerity as he stated, "I'm here aren't I …"

To trust blindly was a fool's errand, though it felt good to know I was reunited with my addiction, I couldn't let him rule over every fiber of my consciousness, however, otherwise I'd lose him forever. Drug addicts are stupid, I'm no different, but I still chastised him, "X …"

He dared to so much as steal a fleeting kiss from me, one that I did not return for it was too fast for even myself to respond to and I knew if I pulled him back to me I would not want to let him go. That was dangerous … I can't be thinking like that, so I pretended not to notice or care about the fleeting-kiss and instead focused on his heavy sigh as he gave in to me, "You're team ain't the only one on patrol tonight sunshine, we're all on our toes."

I blinked and refrained from rolling my eyes in disbelief while I pulled my head back and sarcastically replied, "Wow, someone actually spooked the great Red X, I'd love to see who this character is."

He snorted, "Slade spooks me, this guy annoys me."

"And who might this mysterious stranger be?"

"Ja'marnixzz." I glanced over my shoulder and glared over the railing at Blackfire who now stood in the middle of what is assumed to be a living-room still with the iPod on and still in X's shirt, although now I can see she was actually wearing tight short-shorts underneath them. She eyed the iPod curiously, then looked up at X and flashed him his iPod, "Can you tell me again how to get it off repeat, the vile contraption doesn't seem to have voice command."

I blinked and shot X a dry look which he then returned with a dry shrug and I knew it didn't take a damn rocket scientist to piece together what was going on here, I hissed, "Please don't tell me Strongheart's still looking for her here on Earth."

He nodded slowly, "Okay, so what _do _you want me to tell you?"

I almost blew up, but I held it together and smoothed by hair back as I shook my head, "You're helping her aren't you?"

He nodded slowly again, "Yes …"

"She's the reason I haven't seen you since Carmen's birthday party, isn't she?"

He nodded slowly … again, "Yes …"

"And you want _me _to help her too, don't you?"

He began to nod, but then stopped and shook his head, "Not … really … but it's an idea that has crossed my mind …"

"X …"

"Raven …"

"I'm not helping her."

"Why not? She's as much a wretch as myself, what makes her so different."

"_You _haven't tried to kill your brothers on numerous occasions for the sake of power and money."

"You don't know that."

I arched a sarcastic brow and sneered, "You're being thick again aren't you?"

"Hello!" Blackfire exclaimed as she drew our attention from one another back down to her as she propped a fist on her hip and tilted her head, exasperated, she huffed, "You do know I can hear you just fine right?"

I scowled, "Good, that way I don't have to repeat myself."

She scoffed, "What is your problem? I'm not here to take over your pathetic little planet, alright, it's not as impressive as you humans think it is, and besides that my problem is with Ja'marnixx, not my precious baby-sister. Despite what you may think, _Rae-Rae, _my whole world doesn't revolve around the dimwitted red-head, but if my staying here makes her – or you for that matter – miserable, it's all the more power to me."

I blinked in bewilderment, looked back at X to ask him if she was for real, and he shrugged with his hands up in his defense, so I turned back around to glare at the unapologetic ex-princess and growled, "Call me _Rae-Rae, _one more time Blackfire and I'll shove my boot so far up your ass you'll be licking the dirt off its sole."

Insulted, Blackfire's eyes lit up a bright purple as powered up and curled her hands into tight fists crushing X's iPod in the process as she matched my challenge, "You got lucky a couple of days ago when I went _easy _on you for X's sake, you think you can take me on now?"

I tilted my head, my eyes flashed eerie white and my fisted hands glowed threateningly while the demon in me itched to claw her eyes out, "Only one way to find out."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," X pulled at the back of my shirt and forced me away from the rail so I couldn't see Blackfire as he leaned on the rail and eyed the both of us warily, "down girls, easy … no need to tear each other apart on the first date now, come on."

I shook my head, "X, I am _not _going to help her _adjust _to life on Earth, I _refuse."_

"Well good for you, but I never asked you to help her. I can take care of Strongheart on my own with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back, what I did call you here for was just to let you know. A little professional curtsey so you can make sure the rest of kid-wonder's toy soldiers stay off my back while I do my job."

My eyes narrowed, "I'm not promising to cover your ass if you ever get into trouble."

"I don't expect you to." He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal and in a backhanded like manner all but told me I was useless to him … for some reason that irritated me.

I opened my mouth to tell him off, but Lucas's bland and void voice as cold as the deepest trenches in the ocean silenced us all while he captured X's attention with a single phrase, "We got a problem."

I shuddered … whatever Lucas considered a problem was not something I wanted to find out for there was little in the land that soul-eaters considered a _'problem'._ Though they most certainly weren't immortal, they had the power enough to contend and match blade-for-blade with the divine. At least … that's what I've read in stories … I've never bothered to verse myself in soul-eater fact and fiction simply because their kind were so rare I always figured it was impossible for me to meet one in my lifetime.

I should have known with my track history, this was bound to happen.

Beside me, X asked warily, "What kind of problem?"

Lucas shrugged and took out the Bluetooth earpiece I hadn't noticed he had put on as he dryly said the last thing I wanted to hear, "Titans … one of them gave Justin the slip and right now Jessie's on the look out … how do you want to handle this?"

_TitanS! _My brain flew into a flurry of rapidly blending reasons, ideas, possibilities, and probabilities for any one Titan to have come _here! _To this specific club! It was too perfect! _Speedy … it has to be Speedy, he was the only one up when I left … but … plural … who's with him?_ I looked up when I sensed X move from the rail beside me towards the staircase where he met Blackfire downstairs. I slowly walked to the rail and looked down to watch them as she closed the gape between each other in a single stride and grabbed a fist full of his shirt to pull him to her. She whisper into his ear, but with the help of my demonic blood and my heightened senses her voice rang loud and clear in my ear, "Don't play the denial card with me X, you know damn well she lead that Titan to us. You should have just handled this on your own, Lucas, Malchior, and I are all you need. You don't need her."

What she said didn't bother me, but what X said stuck a dagger in my chest, "I know … but you know what they say, fight fire with fire, if we're gonna take on the Titans we need one on our side … she's our best bet."

That hurt … but I won't say it shocked me.

I was always considered a tool to be used and abused as however my user saw fit.

I never had choices … I never had chances.

So I won't fell bad or heartbroken over what I heard … because what I feel didn't matter, it's what I do that counts.

Other than that, I furrowed my brows and frowned in thought, _Take on the Titans … what exactly does that mean?_ I forced my eyes away from Blackfire and X as the two thieves conversed quietly with one another on the proper ways of dealing with their current dilemma and chewed on the inside of my lip. I couldn't help to flashback at the numerous times I've seen Starfire and Robin together … watching X and Blackfire … it was like déjà vu.

They just went together … so perfectly. I gulped and held my head up, inwardly shaking my head to rid myself of such thoughts when more pressing matters had to be seen to. I glanced to my right as Lucas stepped up to my side, he spare me a dull glance and I used him as an excuse to turn away from X when I felt his attention directed at me. Lucas, with his dull expression tilted his head curiously and before gracefully throwing himself over the edge of the railing to land soundlessly and flawlessly beside Blackfire.

Still refusing to acknowledge X's gaze on me I narrowed my eyes and fisted my hands as I glared at nothing but air, but sensed Malchior's presences standing to my left. His crimson eyes were fixed on me and despite the muffled trance music bouncing off the walls; I knew he heard every word X and Blackfire had said the same as I, so I growled in defense, "I was not followed."

"…" he didn't respond and I expected him to walk off (or jump off) to join X, Blackfire, and Lucas on the ground, but instead I stilled when he curled his long fingers around my hand and pulled me to him. I looked up at him as he turned his back on me, still holding my hand, he lead me towards the window I had entered the studio from. He stopped beside it and pulled me around so I faced him and his crimson eyes bore gaping holes into my heart, he place his hands on my shoulders and in a strict tone of voice that made no room for argument, he said to me, "You have to go Raven."

I frowned and with a slow shake of my head I pulled away from him, "I can't just leave –"

He shook his head, "No, you have to go, you're no good here and if this Titan finds you, you know it's all over."

"It could already be all over if I was followed – and I wasn't – so what's the point of me leaving when I could be used as a distraction to get him out of here without jeopardizing you or anyone else's identities."

He bared his fangs, obviously not happy about the fact I had concocted my own plans to ward off the threat to X's home. He didn't like it and he openly expressed it with a furious snarl that made me visible flinch and I cursed myself for not controlling that internal reaction, "That plan of yours does nothing to insure your well being, I won't let you go through with it."

I stepped up to him, "You can't stop me."

"Raven … –"

"Malchior!" X called to him from the spiral staircase, but Malchior didn't move, he leveled his cold crimson eyes with me and I made no attempt to back down even when X whistled loud enough to pierce my eardrum in order to grab our attentions. It didn't work, so he shouted, "Hey! Staring contest is over! We gotta move! Jessie hit the panic button they're asking questions let's go!"

I blinked away from Malchior to pin X with an unrelenting stare I knew sent a shiver down his spine as I asked, "Where are you going?"

"…" he hesitated to answer now that he understood there was more going on than just a mere staring-contest, "Kid-Wonder's done his homework Rae, he's downstairs with Speedy right now interrogating the bartender, it's only a matter of time before he comes up here. As soon as Lucas dumps the computers of their hard-drives and burns every trace of evidence of our existence here we'll be moved to a different location."

"I'm coming with you."

Malchior growled and snarled, a sound so feral it reminded me that despite his human appearance he could very well tear into my flesh without a second thought. I expected the reaction and didn't so much as bat an eyelash while X jumped at the sudden exclamation and watched Malchior when the dragon barked, "She's delusional!"

X didn't dare interject, instead his amber eyes darted from Malchior to me and back again when I lost my reserve and with little regard of what Malchior could do to me if he lost his temper I argued with him. I rebelled against the bond we shared that instinctually told me to keep my mouth shut and to obey my betters. I think it was all due to the demon in me that didn't like to be held down or treated with care, because at some point in time I altered my speech so I could curse Malchior in my native tongue and much to my honest shock he kept pace. Fluent and eloquent, I knew it must have sounded more like we were singing rather than arguing, but nevertheless X – for the second time that night – broke up a fight _I _had started.

"Knock the shit off already!" He came between Malchior and me, but neither of us physically acknowledged his presence, too engrossed with charging the air with static electricity as our auras swirled and clashed violently with one another. A chilling feeling better known as a bad-vide that X was either oblivious too, or pretended not to notice as he waved his hands and shrugged his shoulders as a gesture of disbelief, "Are you people serious? You're gonna do this shit right here and now?!"

I opened my mouth to state my point, but Malchior was quicker, "Fox, she has to leave, if the Titans in anyway find out of her association with us how much longer do you think it'll take her leader to connect the dots, assuming of course he hasn't already and is just using her as a lure."

I scowled, "You know damn well there's no point in my going, especially since I took Robin's bike to get here, if he's already here it'll be stupid of me to pretend nothing happened when he knows something obviously did happen!"

X cut in, "You took Robin's bike? _Robin's bik – _Raven! Have you lost your goddamned mind?! Did it ever occur to you that something like this would happen at all?!"

I hated to admit it, but no, the thought never occurred to me … I was too focused on getting to X and getting my answers that I didn't even properly calculate the Titans East sleep patterns. I should have known something trippy was going on when I met Speedy in the middle of the hall … maybe … maybe they did follow me … maybe I didn't cover my tracks as well as I thought … damn it I should have known this was a set up! Berating myself inwardly I swallowed my pride and answered solemnly, "You can't expect me to keep an eye on every little detail …"

Malchior rolled his eyes skyward and left us to help Lucas with the tedious task of dumping out files and copies while he silently cursed our luck. X just shook his head and threw up his hands in defeat, "Yeah, sure … why don't you just go a head and write: _Hello my name is Idiot _right across your forehead and save us all the trouble and stand outside with a megaphone to announce our location to the fuckin world!"

For the second time that night his words struck a cord in me and a pang of pain resonated throughout my body. Damn it … he had every right to be mad at me … even Malchior did … I screwed up, I screwed up real bad and I deserved every word that came out of his mouth, however I didn't express it. I remained passive and indifferent, unwilling to verbally admit to my stupidity … and yet after X was through with pacing the platform in curt strides he stopped and shot me an inquisitive look. I felt him wondering why I hadn't returned his sharply phrased insults with quick sadistic jibes of my own.

A strange inquiry seeing as the situation we were in didn't allow for us to idly ponder of trivial matters such as feelings or to saturate starving curiosities. We didn't have time for that, so I steeled the expressions on my face and betrayed no pain … yet … somehow he still managed to sense or see that I was upset and he softened his expression. He took long strides so he now stood before and reached a hand out to place it on the side of my face as he forced himself to be gentle with me, "Raven … I didn't really –"

I stopped him with a shake of my head as I stepped away from him and placed a hand on the window preparing to leave. He could apologize all he wanted, but it won't change the fact that he was right. I caused him a lot of grief and though I know going back to the Tower was probably the stupidest idea, I just knew I had to get away from here as far and as fast as I could before Robin and Speedy discovered my whereabouts. It was the least I could do to correct my awful mistake, so I opened up the window to the fire escape and before I climbed out I told him, "Whatever it is you're up to X, make sure Strongheart get's off this planet for good."

He looked about ready to say something, probably finish his apology, but words failed him and he closed his mouth with a tortured expression on his face. He really wanted to say he was sorry … I could feel it in his aura … but he also knew it was pointless, especially with me; he'd be wasting his breath. He was smart enough to remember I don't like trivialities, and apologizing was a triviality, but he wasn't going to let me go without having the last say. When I thought I was sure he wasn't going to say anything I reached one leg out of the window and leaned forward to flex my body so I could fit the rest of the way out. However, X grabbed my arm and stopped me.

I glared at his intrusion, but stilled when he brought his face so close to mine the bangs of his unkempt hair brushed against the skin of my forehead while his golden eyes held me in place unwilling to release me. I felt my pulse skip a beat and my cheeks flush rosy pink due to the heat of his breath on my skin sending shivers down my spine, I gulped as he whispered in reassurance, "I'll get in touch with you as soon as possible Rae … I promise."

I blinked my eyes slowly shut when he moved in to seal the deal with a quick kiss, but I shook my head and pulled away from him so I was now fully out of the window forcing him to lean out. He stared up at me in confusion and anxiety as I put my foot down and kept this strictly business, "Don't make stupid promises X … you know you can't do that so soon with Robin nipping at our heels … it's suicide."

He scowled in defiance, "Damn it Raven! Screw him! I don't –!"

"X!" Blackfire called to him urgently and he turned to see what it was that she wanted, whatever he was going to say lost to the wind as I sank into my darkness and vanished from his sight just seconds before he turned around to readdress me.

I reappeared near Robin's parked bike and swallowed a large lump lodged in my throat when I imaged the exact words X was just about to say before Blackfire interrupted him. It was wrong … so wrong of him to think that much less say it aloud. To all but admit he was willing to damn his entire life to prison if he could only be sure we'd be … we'd be … I closed my eye and did away with that perilous thought. Instead I focused on the rational and some how created and image of Starfire and Robin that blended till it became that of Blackfire and X … one word came to mine: perfect.

So, _right. _They belonged together, they just _clicked _… they could be together without the constant reminder of how ridiculously dangerous their relationship could be to each other's livelihood. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they even finish each other's thoughts when it came to their criminal-minds because they were so much alike. If X was stupid enough to ignore that plain and simple fact, than he was an idiot. I may not like Blackfire, but if this was for the sake of keeping X safe I'd be willing to forfeit our … _'friendship' _so he could go on without the constant threat of my friends looming over his head.

I sighed heavily and placed a hand on the throttle and mounted the motorcycle, but didn't start it yet as a thought occurred to me, _Is this what X feels like when he sees me with Malchior? _It wasn't jealousy, or hatred, or even resentment … it was a feeling of utter pointlessness, like no matter what I do I'll never be able to get the one thing I wanted – no, _needed _– the most in life. It sucked … I hated the feeling … but I shook my head and started the bike as I went on to think, _X has deeper feelings for me that are best left in the dark … feelings that I shouldn't share … _

I rolled the bike out of the alleyway and onto the sidewalk where I climbed off the curb and with a sharp turn to my right headed out of the Callie Strip. Gradually picking up speed with the wind roaring pass my ears, whipping through my hair, and the engine screaming beneath me, I gripped the throttle tighter and nearly twisted it to go much, much faster, but then I cursed, "Damn it!"

I slowed down when I remembered I had stupidly forgot to get back my mirror-shard from X, lord knows when or even _if _I'll see him again and this fragment was much too important to leave to chance. I had to go back to get it, but I cursed aloud again when I knew I couldn't … going back was suicide. I gritted my teeth and started to grind them together as I considered what I should and shouldn't do the pros and cons and finally reached the terrible conclusion of sacrifice. I couldn't go back … it was too dangerous, so I twisted the throttle and zoomed through the streets, _By Azar X, you better not do anything stupid … _

Little did I know, the stupid one here was really me.

I should have been paying attention.

But I wasn't, _ting!_

_What the – "AAAHH!!!" _Robin's bike suddenly stalled and stopped dead in its tracks when an electromagnetic stalling-device pierced through the engine and sent me flying high. I flipped over and crashed onto the pavement nearly breaking my neck as I bounced, rolled, and skidded to a stop an unbelievable 50 meters from Robin's bike. Face down on the rough pavement I groaned while every part of my body throbbed in pain as I tried to prop myself up on my hands and knees to assess the damage and to defend myself if need be.

Electromagnetic-stallers don't grow out of asphalt and they damn sure don't just appear out of thin air … someone was coming after me and it couldn't be anyone friendly. Trying to fix my vision before it blurred and my hearing before it muffled I managed to pick up on the slight sound of boots clicking against the ground, it was coming from my right. I shifted my head to see who my assailant was at the same time I cringed when I felt a strange tickling, tingling sensation crawling up the back of my neck. I tried to ignoring it to concentrate on my dire situation, but instead ended up screaming in agony when he grabbed (the hands were large, callus) my upper right-arm and twisted it along with my left. He placed them together on my back and then _click … click _went the sound of pure silver-bracelets laced with weaves upon weaves of magic being slapped on my wrists.

Specially designed and exclusive only to certain Titan members the power-suppressant handcuffs left me feeling weak and drowsy as he forced me on my feet. I tried to hold my own weight, but my knees buckled under me and I growled when he jerked me again and I grunted, "The suppressant cuffs … are keeping me from properly regaining consciousness … you should know that already … Robin …"

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Titans, and I don't own X, Blackfire, or Malchior DC does … but Lucas, Justin, and Jesse are mine so that's that …**

**A/N: Uh-oh … looks like it's the end of the line for Raven XDDD NOOO!! Eh … it was necessary and you all will understand why in the next chapter, so for now I ask you to please be patient in my uploading, something is wrong with my laptop and I don't know if it's a hard-drive problem or a virus problem (February is virus season). Which means I have to steal my brother and father's computer if I'm even going to type up the story much less send it in … ahh, sorry for the inconvenience guys, but I luv u all!!**

**L8er daez!**


	19. Chasing Ghosts

**A/N: =/ hmm, apparently some of you think that in the last chapter Raven's character was a little on the weak side, and I'm happy to hear your opinion, I took it too heart, but personally I have to disagree. Compared to reality and from personal experience (or observation I should say) I thought in the last chapter Raven's character acted as her character would in such an emotional situation. She kept to herself and tried not to let the things she's seen bother her so much by focusing on things of far greater importance. Raven **_**is **_**a strong character, I agree, but she's also … **_**fanatic**_** when it comes to those she cares about, she's quick to sacrifice her own happiness and comfort if it guarantees (in this case X's) life. I made sure that she wasn't whining, complaining, or crying about anything in that chapter (that to me is considered weakness in her eyes), rather she was just passively going through the motion … or even just accepting the fact that she's got no chance of competition with the lovely Blackfire.**

**That's my defense, just thought I'd get that off my chest, whether or not you agree is totally up to you, but I am glad someone brought it up, it helps to keep me on my toes and focus on Raven's character. So thank you for that, and I shall shut up now.**

**Happy reading!**

**--**

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Chasing Ghosts**

Specially designed and exclusive only to certain Titan members the power-suppressant handcuffs left me feeling weak and drowsy as he forced me on my feet. I tried to hold my own weight, but my knees buckled under me and I growled when he jerked me again and I grunted, "The suppressant cuffs … are keeping me from properly regaining consciousness … you should know that already … Robin …"

"…" he didn't move, didn't say anything, he seemed hesitant, and then the hands which gripped me suddenly loosened. Without his support I dropped on my knees to the pavement below but it did little to quell the dizziness in my head. My powers were trying to find a release point, running rampant and ricocheting off the walls of my mind, thus making it even harder for me to remain conscious. While my natural demon energy fought against the suppressants and drained me of what little strength I had left to spare. My heart began beating a thousand miles a minute and my breathing was becoming labored and short like a panic-attack due to my demon-self literally sucking my physical body dry for sustenance.

Dark and light splotches of color splattered across my field of vision as it grew fuzzy and incoherent. I felt like I had run a marathon full throttle without stopping and without water. I moaned in pain and threw myself forward to press my forehead against the pavement when I felt the pain of the cuffs burn into my flesh. My wrists seared as the magic laced within the silver-cuffs were pushed to the extremes. I could barely breathe, I gasped for air.

Yet, the sound of the heels of his boots clicking against the ground rang loudly in my ear as he slowly walked around me, and cautiously, ever-so cautiously crouched before me. With his rough hand he grabbed my shoulder and forced me to sit up. I grimaced at the motion, but did as was gestured and looked up into the masked eyes of my leader … my friend … my confidant … and … and … I blinked in confusion, as did he while his grip on my shoulders tightened. His mouth fell open in indescribable shock and horror as he whispered my name in question, "Raven …?"

_I don't … I don't understand …_ I thought between the red-hot pain of my wrists and the dizzy spells within my head, my world tilted vertigo and I nearly hurled the contents of my stomach out on his chest if I hadn't gritted my teeth and swallowed the bile back down my throat. It burned, it tasted rotten, and I nearly threw-up once more in spite of that awful taste, but I composed myself and shook my head as another wave of dizziness washed over me and I again fell forward to still the world as it spun around in every which direction. I shuddered when my forehead instead connected with his chest and I withered in agony in his arms as he held me close while he still tried to overcome his shock, "Raven … Raven … what … what are you doing out here …?"

It was the only thing he could think to ask, the only thing that he could think of to say when the betrayal of what I really am, of what I've become, still had to sink in. I grinded my teeth and whimpered as my demon-self sucked more of my physical strength in order to heal the minor cuts and bruises, as well as correct the vertigo spin of my imbalanced world. The cuffs burned hotter still, and my powers were not making things better. I panted, "… It hurts … I can't … I can't breathe …"

I couldn't ask him to take the cuffs off … it would be asking too much, but I wouldn't be able to survive the night if he didn't give my consciousness the proper time to adjust to my wounds and regain reason before I fell into darkness. Otherwise … I'd either fall into a comatose state … or die because my demon instinct was too stubborn to realize it was killing itself. Whether or not he was smart enough to figure all this out went beyond me, I don't very much like discussing my demon-half with my team – excuse me, _former _teammates – but now I was rightfully regretting it. The darkness was coming … sweet, sweet relief was coming to rid me off this God-awful world … my breathing had become far more labored, and my chest was on fire.

All of a sudden, without warning, my throat caught as my brain forgot how to intake air and I grew limp in his arms, I couldn't stay conscious anymore. My body couldn't handle it … it was giving up and I could feel his hands suddenly grip my forearms to yank me off of his chest to shake me in order to keep me awake. It did little to bring me back, I was falling far and fast and there was nothing he could do about it, my demon-self had taken the last amount of energy it could in a futile attempt to save itself.

My heart all but stopped and everything dulled to an almost non-existent throbbing sensation that was accompanied with him screaming my name over and over and over again. Unsuccessfully he tried to bring me back, but no more, this was it … the end … I just can't believe it happened so fast.

"_Raven!"_ Speedy screamed as he desperately tried to undo the cuffs in order to keep me alive and the moment I felt the silver-bracelets drop to the ground the world ground to a halt and I knew this would hurt him more than it would hurt me.

"… _Speedy …"_ I whispered in warning just before a shockwave of utter destruction exploded from me as my powers and my demon-self rushed to freedom all in one setting, all went white-hot for an agonizing second and then finally:

I blacked out.

But I was still conscious … my mind was still weaving in and out of reality and I could feel my soul-self traveling … traveling at speeds that far exceeded that of any human or animal on foot. The wind whipped pass me as I hovered low to the ground and yet I wasn't flying … I was simply suspended in mid-air and with unknown little jerks that caused me to swing around like a pendulum I caught sight of various buildings. Bright lights flashed around me like laser lights in a concert, and as the puppet-master that wielded me turned to the right I saw a different white light speeding beside me.

The white-light as it turned out belonged to the headlights of a street-bike, and riding on the bike with his head ducked low for greater acceleration was none-other-than Lucas the Soul-Eater. He barely spared me – or rather my puppet-master – a glance of acknowledgement before he zoomed ahead and took the lead. It was then that it occurred to me that my puppet-master must have been X and I had somehow taken solace in the mirror-fragment he still had … but it didn't make sense, why would I be hovering in front of him?

Did he know I was there?

Was he aware of my presence?

I realized he wasn't when I saw his hand reach up to clutch my mirror-fragment, and without so much as a second thought he tucked me into his shirt and the world once again went black, but not for long. I don't know if I was seeing through my mirror or through my eyes, but once the world again came into view and through my blurry vision I saw a dark forest green fabric take up most of my line of sight. It must have been a polo-shirt I was staring at, because I gazed upon a light-skinned chin and cheek above me, he looked down and I concluded that I was back within my body for I was staring at Speedy.

The archer's lips moved, but I heard nothing, felt nothing, like a TV on mute all I saw was his worried face as he lolled my heavy head forward to rest on his chest under his chin as he cradled me in his arms. From there my consciousness again slipped from my body back into my fragment and once again I swung like a pendulum on X's neck, bouncing against his chest as he rushed up a flight of stairs. No longer on the road, he burst through a set of doors and into a new room where the first person he saw was Blackfire and the alien-convict beamed at his safe return.

They exchanged a few words, words I couldn't hear and couldn't begin to lip-sync as X suddenly turned sharply to his left where Lucas with his black hair and black eyes bore dull holes into X's skull as he said something short. X, though I may not hear it, I knew he disregarded him … something he shouldn't have, because one I felt X look away Lucas's eyes traveled to his chest and locked on me. With a slight cock of his head and a discreet arch of his brow, he blinked slowly and with a sudden sharp jab my mind screamed in horror and pain when I felt the soul-eater infiltrate my sanctuary to poke and prod in order to satisfy his curiosity.

I tried to hold him back, to build up barriers to keep him from the rest of my soul-self, but he thwarted off my weak attempts and demolished what barrier I erected to then smirk darkly and whisper hauntingly in my head, _"Sek'tekzy."_

Roughly translated from my native tongue to English, it meant: _Easy to take. _However, he used the negative for _'take' _thus actually meaning: _Easy to steal _and I shrank away from his advances as I felt his entire being engulf the tiny portion of my soul. He converged on me, but before devoured me my world suddenly jerked and I was once again aware of X's movements. Lucas, who was so enthralled with the idea of consuming me had physically moved to snatch away the fragment which dangled from a makeshift necklace X made with a black leather strip.

X had swatted his hand away and shoved him back, the motion startled Lucas out of whatever hunger gripped him and with an expression of utter confusion the soul-eater looked at the thief with an expression of utter bewilderment. I never got to see the end of the outcome for my consciousness faded out of existence and once again I returned to my body when I heard someone calling my name softly, _"Raven …?"_

"…"

"_Raven … you awake?"_

"Mmm … argh …"

"Raven …" I sighed when I felt a hand heavily laid on my left shoulder gently shake me awake, I bit down on my lower lip as a moan of exhaustion escaped my throat and slowly, hesitantly I opened my eyes. I expected to find myself back in the Tower surrounded by the other Titans all looking at me with mixed emotions of uneasiness, fear, worry, or even anger. I expected that … but instead I found myself staring down at the handle of a car door next to my lap. I blinked and still with blurry vision I looked around the vehicle I was in and discovered I was in the passenger seat of some sports car with black high-end quality leather and a very, very good nice new car smell.

With furrowed brows I pushed myself up from slouching, but winced when I brushed my wrists across the fabric of my jeans and I recoiled from the pain. Tentatively in confusion I brought my wrists up to peer over the healing burn and scratch marks and it took only a few seconds for the realization of what had transpierced to earn me these wounds to hit me. I bit down on my lower lip, clutched my hands into tight balled fists, and dropped them back down on my lap to gaze out the car window to find solace in the still dark skies. Only to find, strangely enough, I wasn't in the city.

I was on the outskirts atop some kind of scenic lookout point with a beautiful view _of _the city. I frowned and turned to my left, the driver's side, where Speedy looked at me with an incredulous expression, yet once he was sure I was coherent enough to understand him, he asked, "You alright?"

"…" I gulped, but refused to meet his gaze as I nodded meagerly in confirmation, a few aches and pains here and there, nothing my demon blood couldn't cure with a little time … but I knew none of that mattered. The inevitable was upon me, and as I sat here in Speedy's car, I knew I couldn't lie my way out of this. There was a reason he took me down in that street … there was a reason he parked on this scenic point … there was a reason he waited for me to come to.

The reason was simple.

He was going to turn me in … but not without knowing the truth, a confession, that's what he wanted. He wanted my side of the story before he did his job. If sitting here in this parking lot with the silver-bracelets dangling off his belt wasn't proof enough I also knew of the hill we were on. An out-of-the-way scenic-point on the way to Steel City Penitentiary that sat at the top of this hill where he could place me in a holding-cell made for people like me. I chewed on my lower lip and felt the swelling sensation of _checkmate _looming overhead.

I lost …

I lost … to Robin's pawn!

Robin may not be here with Speedy now to interrogate me, but I knew in some indirect fashion the boy-wonder had played his hand and _won! _I was never a very good loser – contrary to popular belief – I hated to lose just as much as Robin hated to lose, one of the many impossible things we shared alike. Yet, I couldn't deny this … if I tried to fight, I'd still lose because where would I go? I couldn't go back to X, I'd be bringing to heat to him and I couldn't do that to him again … not again, not after this major-ass screw up.

I can only hope that he'll somehow catch wind of my capture and take it as a big clue to turn tail and run the other way around. He had to, it was his only option, I'll kill him myself if he even so much as whips out a blueprint to plan a daring rescue (not that he would). I stilled when Speedy shifted in his seat, and I clenched my hands into tighter fists when he pulled out the silver-bracelets and fingered their pristine texture of pure silver. I expected him to slap them on my wrists again, but instead he surprised me by asking, "What the hell happened back there?"

I blinked, but despite my surprise I gathered up all the strength I could to hold a straight face as I softly explained, "I … I was leaving The Caribbean to return back to the Tower when –"

"No, no, no," he interjected and held out the cuffs so I could get a better look at them, I flinched at their awesome power which tickled my demon senses and stirred the flight-or-fight response within me. My demon wanted to fight … my human wanted to run, but I sat perfectly still, still as a statue when he waved the cuffs in my face and said, "I meant when I put this on you after you tried to do a summersault in the air and nearly broke your neck and then nearly destroyed half a block radius when I took these off – by the way, that explosion hurt."

Still with my eyes on the cuffs I gulped down a thick lump in my throat and tried to explain as best I could, "You placed the cuffs on me too soon after the initial shock of the attack. My consciousness had yet to catch up with my physical body when you disrupted the flow of my magic which automatically kicks in when I've been jarred out of a meditative state … or … if I was zoning-out."

I spared him a sheepish glance of acknowledgement and saw him scowl like a scolding parent, "You were zoning-out while riding a crotch-rocket? No wonder I was able to drop you like a rookie-sniper, next time be a little more alert, Steel City ain't as fair as Jump alright. If you're on a supped-up bike in the middle of the night chances are you're either incredibly stupid or a suspect in some kind of investigation."

I stiffened, "Which one am I to you and Robin?"

He blinked and his scowl suddenly turned into a frown of confusion, "Robin? What does he have to do with this?"

I rolled my eyes skyward, "I know you were with him at the Caribbean, Speedy … the two of you were following me …" when I didn't get any vindication from him to confirm my suspicions I slowly turned my head to look into his masked-eyes, I nodded to encourage him to play ball, "Right."

"…" he stared at me for a moment longer then turned away with his frown deepening, "Actually … I thought you and Robin were following _me_ …" then he tilted his head and narrowed his eyes suspiciously on me, "but why would you think that Robin and I were following _you?"_

_Chasing ghosts … _I thought to myself as it occurred to me that there must have been some mix up, some miscommunication here and if Speedy were being honest about not knowing why I was at the Caribbean than it could work to my advantage, I seized the moment, "I could ask you the same thing …"

"You could … but … I don't think you will." He sat back, and judging from his relaxed posture I knew he was going to take the same advantage as me. He _did _have something to hide … something that he didn't want the other Titans knowing about. Meaning, I've been right about Speedy from the start, but that doesn't necessarily mean I was happy about it. Secrets dire enough to destroy one's life with a strong enough current to drag down those we love along for the ride wasn't something to rejoice about.

An awkward silence suddenly fell over the car and nothing but the sound of our clothes shifting could be heard as we tried to adjust to the small space to comfortably seat ourselves in case some serious allegations did come up. I was sure just as I was thinking of excuse after excuse to cover for my absents from the Tower, Speedy was doing much the same. At least … I thought he was, from the corner of my eye I saw him loll his head back against the seat of his chair as he sighed heavily and tiredly. He muttered something inaudible that I didn't catch even under all this silence, I didn't bother to ask what it was he said, content enough to prolong this empty silence so we didn't have to explain anything to each other.

Talking at this point had become too dangerous.

However … I had to know at least one thing, "Speedy …"

"… Hmm …" he mumbled in acknowledgment as he turned his head to face me, I trained my eyes to the dark floor of the car as I quietly asked.

"Why did you shoot at me?"

"…" he frowned in confusion, then sat up and suddenly snickered as if the memory had just hit him, "Oh … that … well, long story short, you were riding the same bike as a girl I knew who owed me a little money after she hustled me in a game."

I blinked and glanced at him with a doubtful look on my face, "You could have killed me … or that girl if I were her."

He snorted cynically and turned to sneer at me, "You're the last Titan I expect to care about people dying."

"… So … you don't care?"

He shook his head slowly and unemotionally, "Nope." After his flat-straight answer he didn't let me question him any further about his ethical standing on civilian life before he turned the table back on me, "So what were you doing around the Callie Strip? Still patrolling?"

I narrowed my eyes, and under my breath I whispered only loud enough for him to strain to hear, "Can you keep a secret?"

"…" he leaned forward, closer to me and whispered softly, "Yeah …"

I looked up at him, stared him down for a good long minute, let the suspense build, and then said, "So can I …"

"…" he blinked, then scowled and scoffed, "You're not gonna tell me jack are you?"

"No … and in return … I won't tell Bee ayou were out tonight either."

With an arched brow he gave me a curious look before chuckling, "You know … you might be a little more fun than I first thought you were."

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily, "Yep, that's me alright."

He shifted in his seat then reached over and started his car, the engine roared to life and it wasn't until I bothered to notice, but I was riding in a Ford Mustang Fastback, it had to be a 78' model because of the classic design, but it smelt brand-new. _He must have had it detailed._ I thought to myself and revered in the sound of the V8 engine vibrating under the hood, it sounded beautiful, and it reminded me of all the things Cyborg had taught me in engineering. It felt good to me to know that I was one of the least girls in this world that actually took great interest in cars.

Speedy then reached around to place his hand on the back of my seat to help himself as he reversed out of the surprisingly empty parking-lot (I expected this place to be some sort of make-out point), shifted gears, stepped on the clutch, and with a jerk sped onto the empty road. Going downhill instead of uphill where Steel City Penitentiary sat I glanced over at Speedy curiously while he sat comfortably in his driver's seat and seemed rather content with his world. Like none of what had happened really bothered him … like he really didn't care. It disturbed me, and with a frown I discovered I just couldn't hold my silence tonight and ended up opening my mouth to say something … but he beat me to it.

As if he anticipated my urge to reproach the subject of our dark secrets he reached over to his radio and turned it on. A song in stark contrast to the techno music I had been exposed to blared through the speakers and sent a shockwave throughout the quiet car. It was loud enough for me to discreetly flinch as it pounded my eardrums and my head, but Speedy, however, didn't seem to mind at all. It was heavy head-banging rock-n-roll that I had never been exposed to at Titans Tower Jump City. The only other person I knew who listened to something as heavy as this was X, but even I didn't know what was in his iPod collection (unlike Blackfire).

It's not that I don't like their genre of music, as a matter of fact I was partial to it, but in small doses. How one can listen to it on a daily basis went beyond me, but for now I didn't question it. If Speedy didn't want to talk than that was fine with me, I didn't want to indirectly set myself up for failure anyway. So I sat back and let the heavy guitar rifts, loud pounding drum-line, and the gurgled scream-o lead singer paint me a distorted picture of a dark and dreary world.

Before long, with the speeds at which Speedy traveled on empty deserted roads we had arrived near the cliffs where we both knew Titans East Tower was stationed just below it. However, there was no hidden roadway into their Tower, at least none that Speedy showed me; instead he parked his car in some empty warehouse that also housed a number of other tarp-covered vehicles. Once we both exited the Fastback he motioned for me to help him drape a tarp over it. I muttered my enchanting words than lifted the tarp out of his hands and over the car to then neatly dress it as it should be before releasing my energy and nodding in satisfaction at a job well-done.

Speedy strolled up beside me, gave the car a one-over then playfully sneered at me, "Show-off."

I didn't bother to rebuke, instead I followed him out of the warehouse where I manually helped him close the gate and dusted my hands of the rust and dirt that I collected while Speedy sucked in a deep breath and looked out over the horizon. Or rather, to the Tower we both imaged to be at the base of the cliff, another long silence fell over us, but this one was a thoughtful one. How were we going to explain being gone all night with Robin's bike missing and such, Speedy, as it turns out, already had a plan, "We were on a date tonight …"

I blinked and then shot him a dark look, "No one is going to believe that."

He looked down at me with a shrug, "Why not? It's the perfect excuse. We can say we borrowed Robin's bike and caught trouble on the way back. They'll never be the wiser."

I shook my head, "Robin won't believe it …"

"Again, why not?"

"I don't go on dates."

"…"

"… I'm serious, and since I just arrived here and this is my first night in Steel it will be suspicious even to your teammates."

He threw up his hands in exasperation, "Well, you got a better idea?" _Unfortunately no … _I thought as I looked away from Speedy to try and come up with another explanation that could be believable, but after a minute of scrounging I gave up and shook my head in defeat. He sighed, "Look, Robin will believe you … he takes everything you say to heart and trusts you more than he's ever trusted anyone. You just gotta sell it Raven; sell it like you've never sold anything else before. Make him believe you."

"Speedy."

"Yeah."

"Shut-up …" I stormed away from him to keep him from seeing the pained-expression that crossed my face when every word he said hit me so hard in my gut I nearly let out a scream of anger, frustration, and agony. I know, I know it was necessary to sell-it … it's what I've been doing for the pass six months, but to hear someone else say it as if it were all apart of the game made me sick to my stomach. No, Speedy didn't make me sick, it was the confidence I had within myself that I could sell such a well thought of lie that made me sick.

It was true … Robin did trust me, and it was within this trust that I knew I could manipulate the hell out of him into thinking anything I wanted him to. I almost wanted Robin to call me a liar to my face and lock me away already, because this wasn't fair. It was so not right on so many different levels it wasn't even funny. I sighed heavily and stopped before the chain-link fence which stopped twenty-feet from the cliff where Titan Tower sat. I gripped the fence with my fingers as I leaned my forehead on the metal to close my eyes and catch my breath.

Speedy then appeared at my side, but I didn't bother to acknowledge him, didn't care to as I mentally prepare myself for another story to tell. The archer, however, insisted on being my conscious, "You know what you need … a vacation."

I shot him a dry look, "You're not the only one who thinks that."

He snickered, "I'm not surprised, you're so tense you make me nervous … so I was thinking … maybe I could take you out to lunch tomorrow, just you and me on an official date."

_He's kidding right … _I stood up straight and pinned him with a look so suspicious I made him shift his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for my reply. I blinked, then shook my head slowly to begin my rejection, but then stopped when a sudden thought struck me and I glared at Speedy with renewed suspicion when I found out I had no choice but to accept his offer. The longer I glared at him the brighter and brighter the gleam in his eye grew till it reached his lips and he began to smirk in amusement. I scowled and shook my head in defeat, "You've done this before haven't you."

He chuckled and shrugged, "Hey, you can't say you went on a date with someone without a follow-up, and look at it this way. So long as everyone puzzles over our relationship no one'll look too deep into our whereabouts tonight and future nights if this ever happens again. It's the perfect scam."

I growled, "Don't say it like that, this is not a scam it's a rouse that'll only last for so long before someone smartens up and finds out the truth."

"No one's gonna find out shit," he playfully punched the side of my left arm and I was pretty sure he winked at me when he said, "we play our cards right, we'll be in the clear, you just gotta sell it."

"…"

--

Sell it I did.

When morning came (not an hour after Speedy and I went to our separate rooms after we discussed how to tell our story) the alarm for morning training-exercises sounded at 7 am sharp when the sun had peeked just over the ocean horizon. Speedy and I both arrived on the training grounds outside of the Tower about fifteen minutes late to stir up the Titans' curiosities, Robin's interest in particular showed clear on his face as he eyed us both carefully and charily. I pretended to _pretend_ to not notice, even gave Speedy a sideways glance for extra measure before I was suddenly confronted by an angry Bumble Bee who chewed me out for being late.

I justly apologized and she went on her way to chew on Speedy's ear while I stretched my arms high over my head in preparation for whatever exercise she and Robin had in store for the team. Speaking of Robin, the Boy-Wonder silently approached me from behind as I bent forward to grab my ankles in order to stretch my calves. I wouldn't have even noticed his approach if the tingling sensation in the back of my neck hadn't warned me, and yet, I still pretended to not care as I ducked my head to press my nose to my knees. Patiently counting to ten, waiting for Robin to speak up, and he only did when I resurfaced with a jerk of my head to flip my hair away from my face.

Smoothly, I ran my fingers through my hair and spared my leader a glance of dull acknowledgment. I also made note of the hard look on his face as he stared me down with a cold unreadable expression that made my skin crawl respectively, but I refused to say anything. Meanwhile, somewhere in the back of my mind I was totally aware of Speedy's attention as it flickered in our immediate direction, his aura anxious and jumpy, but his demeanor calm, cool, and collected. I inwardly scoffed, _Show's he's done this before._

I was just about to drop to the ground in a perfect split to continue my stretching when Robin finally spoke my name, "Raven …"

I blinked and sucked in a deep breath, _Here goes … _slowly, I turned around to look at him with my face as unreadable as steel and I nodded, "Robin."

He tilted his head and inquired, "You seem tense … is something bothering you?"

"Except for the fact I didn't get any sleep last night, nothings bothering me."

"Really? And … what exactly were you doing last night?"

"Does it matter to you?"

"Yes, actually, it does. It matters a lot to me."

"Why?"

He took a step closer to me and I stood my ground, even as he lowed his voice and growled, "Because for some reason, when I left last night to follow a lead my bike was not where it's suppose to be and it still has yet to return, mind explaining that to me, _Raven."_

The ferocity behind his words engulfed me, but I immediately snuffed out the flame before it consumed me as I placidly blinked slowly and evenly in tone I replied, "Are you questioning where my loyalties lie so soon after you said you trusted me? Why didn't you ask me to go with you?"

His expression turned to cold-hearted stone and the look in his mask darkened, "It's a simple question Raven, why won't you answer it?"

"Why won't you answer mine? It's only fair …"

"… I didn't want to wake you."

I sneered to hide a victorious smug smirk on my lips when I knew I won, "You have to do better than that Robin … and though I don't think you have any right to treat me like a little girl with a curfew, I feel I do owe you an apology for your bike. It had an accident."

He jerked his head back in confusion, "Accident? What the hell does that mean?"

"…" I shifted from one foot to the other and let my eyes trail away from Robin's face to set the stage for my _'confession' _I even swallowed a gob of saliva for show and sighed heavily, "I went on a date … last night … with Speedy … one thing led to the other and … your bike wasn't spared."

Like magic, Robin's stone-cold, confused face turned to a cartoonish expression of shock and disbelief, "What?"

I bowed my head, "I'm sorry."

"I don't care about the bike Raven … Speed – _What?!"_ He didn't shout it, but through gritted teeth he hissed at me still in shock as he stepped even closer to me and whispered in a harsh tone, "When the hell did _he _happen?! I thought … I thought …"

I looked up when he sputtered and couldn't form the correct words for a proper sentence … it was actually amusing to know I had rendered Robin speechless, but to keep in character I furrowed my brows and shook my head trying to understand him, "You thought what?"

He glared at me, "I thought you didn't like him!"

"I don't," I answered to quickly and immediately scrambled for an explanation when I saw his expression turning suspicious again, "I mean, not in the way you're suggesting … it was just a friendly get-to-know-you date … Speedy initiated it, I just kinda went along for the ride."

Robin didn't buy it, "Raven, you don't just _kinda _do anything, much less go along with _any _ride."

"I know … but … he liked your bike and … I couldn't just let him go on a joyride with it alone … for that I'm sorry …"

"…"

"…"

"… Robin …?"

"Just gimme a minute …"

I frowned, "You don't believe me …?"

He glared at me and asked suspiciously, "Where did you guys go?"

I shrugged and remembered what Speedy had said, but couldn't recall the name of the diner he mentioned, so I decided to leave that part to him, "Some diner on Frankford Road … it was the only one open at that hour."

"What hour?"

I shook my head, "Robin if you don't believe me go a head and ask Speedy, he's right over there."

With that I turned my back on him and stormed away to pick a different spot to stretch leaving Robin comically-speechless while I swallowed the urge to cheer and cry at how well I played that lie off. I spared a glance at the archer when I felt his gaze on me, and I blinked slowly and discreetly bowed my head then brought it back up in a nod to confirm all had went well. He in turn grinned deviously and winked, though I didn't see it with his mask, I felt it and with that, life went on with none of the other Titans the wiser.

--

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, I own Lucas however …**

**A/N: Alright … I hated making this chapter, it was boring for me to type, but each scene was necessary to set the stage for the next chapter where it'll get a little more interesting, again I am sorry for the long wait guys. Though I did get my laptop back (YAY!!) my psychology class and math class is kicking my ass. I had to pay a little more attention to it if I ever had hopes of passing either of them. But in the meantime, thank you all for being patient, for reading and reviewing, and most of all for your support. I will try to answer some of your questions to the best of my knowledge (and so I don't give too much away either) other than that …**

**L8er daez … **


	20. Little Miss GetAClue

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Little Miss Get-A-Clue**

By the Gods I hate being a hero in High School, the sun had barely even come up and suddenly Bumble Bee was sitting in my room, on my couch with her legs crossed giving me tips, pointers, and warning-signs of a date going horribly wrong. All while playing fashion police and dictating what I should and should not wear on a lunch-date (excuse me: _'follow-up date'_) with _Speedy, _like it even mattered to me how I looked like to him at all! I was just doing this because I felt like it was the right thing to do in order to prove to the others that Speedy and I were … how do I say this … that we were _interested_. That's it.

But no … as soon as word got out it spread like wildfire and now here I was being subjected to the dreaded _'girl-talk' _with Bumble Bee all a buzzing with excitement, disbelief, and wonder. At one point in our conversation she even dared to say, "Damn, I guess anything is possible if Speedy managed to land a girl like you, no offence."

I went on to assure her I took no offence to the comment and proceeded to grab a t-shirt and jeans to put on and flaunt to Bumble Bee upon her insistence. She, then, predictably turned it down and after the next set of jeans and shirt I showed her she grew fed up with my lackluster approach to dressing up for this date-thingy-whatever and took matters into her own hands. Hovering over my shoulder she gazed into my pathetically filled closet and pouted, "Not even a blouse or a skirt … you weren't kidding when you and Rob said you packed light and I highly doubt you can fit any of my clothes."

Doubt never crossed my mind, Bumble Bee had a more curvy body than me, perfect even, not to mention she was a lot taller than me and her build was far more impressive. Compared to her, I literally looked like the girl next door. If the girl next door happened to have pale gray skin and unnatural violet hair and eyes; I can't blend into a crowd for my life, not without a little magic anyway. I sighed heavily and crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the wall shivering as the cold surface sent a chill down my bare naked spine.

I was still in my underwear after Bumble Bee ordered me to strip off the last article of clothing I presented to her because she disapproved of it and I was trying oh-so hard not to scowl or fidget impatiently as I said, "I think a t-shirt and jeans would do, this is nothing special, it's just lunch with Speedy, I don't think he'll care if I wore an evening-gown either way."

She scoffed and argued, "Yeah, but at least you can show him you care enough to take it seriously."

I arched a sarcastic brow and shot her a sarcastic look, "Advocating for a womanizer Bumble Bee? Not exactly what I expected from a girl like you."

She blinked and tilted her head curiously, "Who said Speedy was a womanizer?"

I rolled my eyes, "His Myspace page, I don't know … he just struck me as the type to change girls as much as he changes his underwear … assuming of course he changes those at all."

She cringed, "Eww, thank you for that image."

"You're welcome, now if you'll excuse me, I'm late …" I grabbed up a pair of khaki-cargo pants I discarded and a small black skintight shirt with a collar that exposed a small amount of flesh on my abdomen that I was comfortable with. Once I got them both on I sat on my couch and began to slip on my shoes and Bumble Bee plopped down with me, I shot a momentary glance to find her watching me curiously. I huffed, "Thanks for your help Bee, but I really didn't need it."

She disregarded the thanks, "Oh its okay, I know you didn't … I, um, actually came here to talk to you …"

After I slipped on my last shoe I looked up to see her face suddenly grow somber and serious. I braced for anything she might want to say then I nodded, "Okay … about what?"

"Speedy … and you …"

I huffed when I felt her apprehension and concern, "Bee, I'll be fine; I know he's a jerk, but what guy isn't."

She shook her head, "No, it's not about that … it's … well …"

"…" I stared at her when she couldn't just out right say what she wanted to say. Her hesitation actually caught me unawares, Bumble Bee, to me, never seemed the type to think twice about what she says. Usually she already knows what she's going to say and announces it with no remorse. So this was … unusual … I searched her eyes and found that though she really wanted to tell me whatever it is she wanted to tell me, she didn't know if she could, and I frowned, "Bee …?"

She looked away from me for a moment in thought then took a deep breath and huffed, "I don't know why I'm so apprehensive about this whole thing, but … I guess it's because this is the first time Speedy's ever asked a girl I know out … much less did it _traditionally._" She jumped up a little so she could face her whole torso to me and said, "So I just wanted to let you know and I don't care if you kill me in my sleep for saying so, but, I'm routing for you guys to take this all the way. I think you both could do each other some good. Speedy needs someone to anchor him down, and you need someone to … well … have fun with, ya know."

"…" I frowned, but didn't bother to press the topic; it was irrelevant, and stupid. Speedy and me together? Yeah, maybe in some alternate dimension I wasn't aware about and shall never be aware about … Speedy wasn't my type … he was too … _good._

He just would never get me.

At least, that's what I figured from the likes of him.

--

Speedy laughed as he walked down the pathway of Steel City's Hathaway Park, I remained comfortably placid as he relayed (in great detail) the reactions and conversations he's had with the other Titans about our phony date last night. He turned to me with a big sneaky smile on his face as he said, "You should have seen the look on Robin's face when I confirmed your story, classic disbelief, he even thought I was lying till I flashed him the diner's recite then he shut up."

That's when I arched a brow and shot him a curious look, "Diner's recite?"

He nodded, "Yeah," he then dug into his pocket and whipped out a crumbled recite that looked barely readable, much-less convincing to a trained detective like Robin. He offered it to me and I took it as he reassured me, "Relax, I know what I'm doing, unless Robin actually goes to that diner to check out our story – and if he does it'll just make him look like an ass for not trusting us – he's none the wiser."

I stared at the recite and tried to make out its contents under the smeared ink that was conveniently smudged out due to some unknown liquid droplets and the crumbled mess that it was didn't help either. After examining it for a couple more seconds I gave up and handed it back to Speedy who again stuffed it back in his pocket as the wind blew and my hair latched onto my neck and face. I collected the strands as best I could and tucked it behind my ear with a heavy sigh, "Are you always prepared with an alibi every time you return to the Tower late at night?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Everyone's gotta know my business and sometimes I just like to keep some things to myself is that a crime?"

"… No …" I flipped my hair back over my shoulder and added coldly, "… but locking-down your portion of the Tower and leaving your team vulnerable to attack, _is. _It could be considered sabotage and you could be held liable if anyone were to get hurt."

"Bee says the same thing …" he scoffed and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants as he bowed his head to stare at the ground.

I didn't bother to press the subject, content enough to know I shut him up for a while so I can think. I needed to think, I wasn't in the mood for talking much less in the right state of mind to hold up a decent conversation, I needed to put everything that's transpired in my life in order so I know what to do from here. I'm sure Speedy noticed my reluctant posture and sudden irritability and was probably chalking it up to be my way of dealing with this so-called date thingy I really didn't want any part in.

He can assume my bad-mood was his entire fault all he wants, I don't care.

My mind was elsewhere.

Far away elsewhere … beyond Never, Never Land, pass Wonderland, and on the other side of Treasure Island two skips and a hop down memory lane into a nightmare I never knew existed. I closed my eyes tightly shut and sighed for the umpteenth time as a last ditch effort to again rid myself of the image of X and Blackfire. I don't know why their image still plagued my mind after I had accepted the reality of their strong connection. They just had that instant chemistry, they clicked and vibed off each other like … like … like Orion and Kayla.

I didn't have enough time to study X and Blackfire's aura like I did with Orion and Kayla, but I was pretty damn sure I'd get the same reading, a reading of perfect harmony. Chaotic in its own right, passionate, and wild … soul-mates … I was beginning to wonder if there really was such a thing now.

Speedy asked me something … wasn't quite sure what it was, the question I knew was so sudden I didn't react fast enough to process each word, so I guessed he was probably wondering if I was alright, so I muttered a curt, "I'm fine."

"What?"

I gritted my teeth, I hate repeating myself, but I did so anyway for Speedy's sake, "I said I'm fine."

He scoffed, "Yeah, I know, I heard that, but what?"

My brows came together and I turned my head to glare at him in confusion, "What?"

We stopped walking and stood in the middle of the path now facing each other as he shrugged with his hands still in his pocket, "I dunno, I'm asking you what."

He lost me, "Huh?"

Under his mask he rolled his eyes and then looked around when he noticed we were rudely blocking the path of joggers and bikers, he reached out and grabbed my elbow to gently pull me off the path so we were on the grass. He then let my arm go and walked on ahead to a nearby unoccupied picnic-table conveniently placed under a tree; he sat down on one side of the table and gestured for me to sit with him. I inwardly scowled; this was the kind of thing I've been trying to avoid all afternoon: a heart-to-heart moment with the last Titan I wanted to open-up with. Damn the Fates and their cruel sense of humor!

In defeat I trudged over the grassy ground and plopped down opposite Speedy and glared when he narrowed his eyes and stared analytically at me, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I hated to be analyzed; he said, "This guy is really getting to you isn't he?"

He asked with such assurance that I almost expected him to out right say Red X was my boyfriend. I blinked and caught myself before I fell into such a trap and instead played stupid till I understood just who and what he was talking about, "What guy?"

He shrugged, "Whoever it is that you're seeing besides Robin … or me for that matter …"

"…" Now he really, honestly, lost me, "What are you talking about?"

Speedy smirked and with no-holds-bar he laid out his cards, "Okay, so it's like this … everyone from Titans East to Titans West – your guys – thinks something is going on between Robin and you. I thought it was an affair that was getting kinda serious since you arrived here and not Starfire, kind of a roundabout way of dumping her. I actually had a bet with Aqualad about who'd accompany Robin on his little fieldtrip, I thought it was going to be Starfire, he said it'll be you and low and behold now I'm out forty bucks."

_Explains why he was upset when Bumble Bee phoned him in, _I thought bitterly, then scowled, "Well I apologize for what inconvenience I may have brought you, but I am not having an affair with Robin, you're the second Titan that's asked me the same question."

He snickered, "I didn't ask you anything, and you didn't let me finish."

"Oh, my apologies, there's more," I leaned away from him with my darkening scowl as I folded my arms over my chest and Speedy chuckled.

"Look, the reason why I know there's someone else is because of last night when you left the Tower to go on your little _'patrol' _without Robin, I'm insensitive, not stupid." I refrained from looking in his eyes, a little afraid of what his conclusions might turn out to be … he wasn't Terra, "So anyway, I've concluded that you're seeing someone else outside of the Titan ring, can't be a civilian otherwise why bother hide it … no, it's someone that you don't want Robin to know about … someone that we both know Robin might not approve of … someone that you have to have been seeing for a while if he's able to get under your skin right now … stop me if I'm wrong. Whoever he is … he's written all over your face."

"…" I glared at him unwilling to say a word.

He shrugged again and went on, "What can I say, I know what strung-out looks like and you are _Strung. Out."_

I sneered and with my arms still crossed and my back rigidly straight I pinned him to the tree with a cold look as I replied calmly, "So your conclusion is since I'm not having an affair with Robin, I'm having an affair with someone else behind Robin's back? Does that really sound like something _I'd_ do?"

"At this point, I think you're capable of almost anything …" he leaned forward and whispered, "I may be endangering the lives of my teammates sometimes, but what feats have you taken to cover your ass?" He pulled back with a smug smirk on his lips and a bad taste in my mouth; I balled my hands into tight fists to refrain from jumping the table and beating Speedy to a bloody pulp. How dare he try to make it seem as if _I'm _the monster here when he didn't even know me! No wonder Aqualad can't stand him, and still he had more to say, "Besides that … based on what I've witnessed so far … I know I'm right."

"No, you think you're right …" I sneered in annoyance, "You want to catch me doing something bad so that way I'll be more of an interesting character for you to interact with." I sucked in a deep breath and with the straightest of faces (and calmest of tones) I said, "Speedy, I am not having an affair, I'm not seeing anyone outside of the Titan ring, and I'm just doing my job. Something we both should be doing right now if you didn't have me sitting out here in the middle of a park on a supposed date that's feeling more and more like an interrogation tactic. Unless you have another agenda to fill with this line of questioning, get to the point."

He nodded and scoffed as if everything I said was little more than an idle threat he brushed off of his shoulder, "Alright then, Little Miss Get-A-Clue –" my sneer turned into an irritated scowl at his precious little nickname, "– my point is, let it go. Just let him go, this constant pining –"

"I am not pining!"

"Can I finish?"

I huffed and pouted, but otherwise closed my mouth and let him continue, he shook his head at me like an irritated parent and sighed, "Anyway … your constant _pining, _is unhealthy and I really don't see the appeal in remaining with a guy that's causing you so much grief. I barely even know how it is you really live your life back at Jump, but judging by what I've seen so far, you're acting like a drug addict that needs a hit every few hours. Jonesing for a fix every time you're away from him, he's obviously tearing you apart, so take your own advice. Get a grip on reality, get over him, and get on with life. _Let. It. Go. _That's my point, _period."_

I rolled my eyes and just as he dismissed me, I dismissed him, "I give you a chance to state a point and you're still going on about me and some imaginary guy I don't have."

"Don't bullshit me Raven," he argued with a patient look on his face and a tone of voice that gave no room for me to interject, "Robin can pretend not to notice what's going on all he wants, but I don't play that game. I can't look the other way when I know you're doing something so stupid it boggles _my _mind! I know if anyone were to leave you unchecked you're gonna go run off to be with someone you shouldn't be with." He then laughed curtly, harshly, and mockingly, "So consider this an intervention."

He paused to shake his head and satisfied with his in-depth look into my personality he sat back in his seat and stared at me, patiently waiting for a rebuttal, but I knew arguing was pointless. His mind was already made up, and no matter how hard I tried to appeal otherwise he wouldn't hear any of it, which agitated me. An argument lost to Speedy … either I was losing my touch, or I didn't know him well enough to strike him where it hurt the most. It's like every insult I threw at him didn't faze him in the least and it was irritating me!

Especially since he apparently knew more about me than he was leading me to believe!

So, childish as it would seem, I struck the last nerve I thought would have greater impact since it seemed to work with Robin when I felt like being a sadistic-bitch. I was a sore loser, I don't like to lose unless I know the victor felt some kind of dismay, so I scoffed and in a chilling tone I hissed, "Like you'd know what a drug addict looks like Richie-Rich."

No hero likes to speak of their upbringing.

Dark histories should remain just there, in the dark.

No one abide by this rule more strictly than Robin and Speedy.

At least … I _thought _Speedy would crumble and I would finally get to see the human behind that smug, lazy grin of his … but no! It was like he was impervious to everything I said, and in response he chuckled and stood up from the table. With the wind blowing from behind him, forcing the collar of his shirt to flip up around his neck he stared me down and in a voice that had a suspicions dark undertone yet still with his trademark lazy grin he said, "Don't go judging what you don't know."

"…"

I stood up with him and wordlessly we continued our walk through the park with nothing left to say.

At least … this time I really didn't want to say anything and he seemed content enough to leave me to digest what we've discussed.

The park filled the gape between us and the silence that shrouded us.

People went on with their lives, oblivious to who and what I am.

Kids played games in the field.

Dogs barked here and there.

Bikers raced passed us, followed by joggers, and walkers, and other park goers.

Yet none of them … not a damn one of them cared about our existence or cared about the mess I've put myself through. I highly doubt any one of them would be able to understand the seriousness of my position … not even Speedy understood despite whatever secret he may be keeping from me. Let go? Let go of X? Yeah … I wish it were that simple … I wish I could just say: 'Sorry, I don't want to see you anymore, but it was nice knowing you, have a good life and try to stay out of trouble.' If I could say that and walk away unscathed I'd do it in a heartbeat … but the fact of the matter is I don't live in Pleasantville.

I don't have the fairytale life like Robin and Starfire.

I don't have friends that love me no matter what my sin is like Speedy.

And I don't have anyone to fall back on or catch me if I should fall off my high-horse.

I was on my own.

I was the only person I could count on … no one else.

No one – Speedy nudged me, I blinked out of my stupor and looked up at him when he gestured with his chin for me to look in a particular direction. I followed his general direction, eyes searching for anything out of the ordinary and it wasn't long till I caught sight of the last person I expected to find sitting under a tree with X's iPod in her ears. I furrowed my brows and scowled, _Is she retarded? What the hell!? _No, I wasn't worried about her, far from it – so far from it in fact it wasn't even funny – I was worried about X … I knew if she was around it meant he shouldn't be far off since he was suppose to be protecting her. Also, if she were here it meant Strongheart would spot her in an instant if they were within the vicinity.

Speedy tilted his head and arched a brow, "Huh … how convenient …"

I chewed on my lower lip nervously, but refrained from showing my anxiety to pounder aloud, "We should call it in … Blackfire isn't exactly a damsel in distress."

He shook his head, "I don't wanna spook her … besides … if she's here, it could only mean she's either waiting for someone, or something's about to go down because she's out of her usually attire. Decoy?"

I never thought of that, but he was right, Blackfire was no longer in her skit and top covered in her battle-armor, but instead she blended in with her surroundings … I was pretty sure if Speedy didn't have a sharp eye we would have totally missed her and went on with our lives. In dark blue jeans, a turtle-neck long sleeved skintight top that exposed her midriff, she looked like a college-student taking a breaking from her studies instead of a hardened convict. I shook my head, "For all we know she could really just be enjoying the sights," I scoffed, "but incase that _isn't_ the case … go right and tail her if she moves, but do nothing else."

He nodded and without further instruction we made the transition from civilian life to experienced Titans and flanked the Tameranian. Slowly, we converged on her without giving away our positions, with my eyes everywhere, my ears to the ground, and my senses on high alert I was prepared for anything. Anything, that is, until I crossed paths with a large tree that kept me from Speedy's and Blackfire's views and someone grabbed my left elbow. I reacted without thinking and swung around with a straight punch, but my assailant snagged my wrist and with sheer strength alone he shoved me against the tree and pinned me.

With my enchantment at the tip of my tongue, a sudden wave of dizziness and exhaustion came over me and my knees gave out from under me. I don't know what happened, but it felt like I had received a hard punch to my gut that knocked the wind out of me, but my assailant didn't even hit me! Out of reflex as I fell to the ground I grabbed his shoulders and clenched his shirt with tight fists to keep myself from fainting when spots started to appear in my field of vision. It didn't help that I started to tremble uncontrollably when the wind that blew passed us felt like someone had turned the AC on high and jammed my face into the vent.

Luck me (yeah, right) the man that pinned me used his body and the tree to help support me back on my feet, I didn't want to think it, but his body heat lessened the tremors enough so I could gain control of myself long enough to look up at my attacker. It must have been X, it couldn't be anyone else, no one else was stupid enough to press his body against me like this unless they wanted to die an early death. However, I couldn't be anymore wrong; once my eyes focused I peered into the startling intensity of Lucas's cold, hard, black gaze that stared at me with no expression or emotion.

My mouth fell to the floor in disbelief and I held him tighter, afraid that I was hallucinating and I had really gone and lost my mind. Lucas? The hell …?

He blinked, "You're very cruel …"

I blinked, "… What?"

"If you can stand on your own, please do so, otherwise I suggest we refrain from all bodily contact."

"Oh," I said stupidly, then realized what he meant and all but leapt out of his arms to only slam my back against the tree and bounce back into his embrace. A traitorous scarlet blush appeared on my cheeks when our faces came so close I could smell the sweetness of his breath, which was weird considering no living life-forms' breath was supposes to be sweet. However, it also confirmed how inhuman he really was compared to me, his grip on me tightened and again a sudden wave of lightheadedness swept over me and I couldn't stand on my own two feet.

I groaned and leaned on him, but he growled and let me drop to the ground in an exhausted heap as he marched away from me to angrily pace back and forth as that psychotic personality of his began to overwhelm him and his aching hunger pierced _my _gut. It didn't help to quell the dizziness in my head as I struggled to get back on my feet, why the hell was I feeling so goddamned _weak?! _It's like the Earth it self was sucking the life out of – it hit me suddenly – I looked up at Lucas when his pacing slowed, his breathing became collected, and he was slowly reverting back to being a shell of a human-being. He looked down at me with no expression and I found the strength to get back on my feet, though still a bit lightheaded I leaned on the tree and scowled at him, "You should spend a little more time on developing a sense of: _Self. Control. _Steal from me again and I swear to Azar death will become more of a blessing than a curse for you."

The exertion behind that threat made me sigh heavily and lean forward to prop my hands on my knees in order to help keep me steady. However, it didn't lessen the dark look I bore on Lucas, even as he bowed respectfully and made me cringe at how formal it was in our culture. He covered his mouth with his right hand, signifying he spoke out of line, and kept his left hand pressed flat against the side of his thigh, a sign to suggest equality. Even his speech was perfect … just like it sounded when he was in my head, _"Zaan rajsheri_, it is within my nature as you know."

'_My apologies' _he said and I scowled. Stubbornly I forced myself to stand fully on my feet without the support of the tree, yet I still swayed for a moment before I found my balance long enough to say with authority and make it quite clear that I didn't consider him an equal. "Don't you dare give me that excuse, I am the half-demon here and I don't go around pretending to help people while stealing their life-energy –"

He calmly interjected, "Force of habit then, you attacked me and I reacted as I would in any other fight."

"And I wouldn't have tried to hit you if … ugh …" I shook my head again when my world tilted and I nearly fell over to follow it, I took a moment to collect myself, then sneered, "Forget it, where's X?"

"Busy."

"Doing …?"

"Doing whatever it is he does," he shrugged dismissively, "but he's not important, I came here to have a word with you."

I was irritated now, "Does it look like I'm in any position to have _any _kind of discussion with you right now?!"

"I didn't mean right now," curse him and his straight face, he made me look like a fumbling idiot when it came to the poker-face game, he had the stone-cold look down-pat, "whenever it is you're free and you manage to sneak away from the Titans come see me, I'll make it worth your while."

"Oh, I highly doubt that."

No sooner had the phrase left my lips did a sonic-boom split the air somewhere in the distance, it rang in my ears and felt like it echoed all across the nation, but Lucas seemed to know where it was. He glanced over his shoulder for a brief moment, but it was long enough for me to notice how his poker-face demeanor suddenly changed and he went ridged and stiff. He looked down at me as I glared at him and he nodded his head, "That's my cue … just wait for yours." With that he backed away from me and in one bound he disappeared into the tree behind me.

I stepped away from it back into the clearing where Speedy, from across the field looked up at me with a bewildered expression on his face, probably asking himself where the hell the sonic-boom had come from. I had an idea of what caused it, especially when my sights laid on Blackfire, the Tameranian who also noticed the loud commotion and sprang up on her feet. With X's iPod still in her hands she pulled the ear-buds from her ears and had her gaze fixed on one location glaring at nothing, yet focused on something, I pulled out my communicator to get in touch with Speedy when I saw him preparing to move in for the capture. I immediately hooked up with him and growled, "Stay where you are, let her lead us to the source of the commotion."

My radio crackled and he came back exasperated, _"If she flies we're shit out of luck."_

"Don't move Speedy, just wait." _Just wait … _easy to say, harder to do, even I was jumping at the chance to pin the ex-princess down to make sure she doesn't fly off. Yet, with how Lucas reacted to the explosion, and now watching Blackfire not moving an inch from her spot I knew Speedy was right the first time. Something was about to happen and I didn't like the looks of it.

Without warning, like a missal dropped from the sky a streak of green energy split the air and in a matter of seconds the park went from beautiful and green to utterly destroyed when the green streak impacted the ground that Blackfire stood on. It felt like an explosion that knocked everyone off their feet and popped my eardrums as I fell against the tree and tried not to inhale the dust and dirt that flew into the air and scattered all over the park. Across the way Speedy stumbled back on his feet, shaking his head to clear himself of the dirt that covered him while he struggled to get to the crater to see what had happened.

I attempted to follow him, but gasped when my strength still had yet to catch up with me, I cursed Lucas black and blue as I clutched my heart and tried to catch my breath. _Damm it all … _I swore to myself as I shook my head and gritted my teeth. I was no good to anyone like this, and I was sure it would take longer than a few seconds to regain the chunk of energy I lost to that damned soul-eater! With options at the minimum and time not on my side I swore aloud once more and paused to concentrate on bringing forth my demonic instincts. Seconds before I was prepared for the change I felt an electrical charge surge through me and the thrill of bloodlust consume me.

My senses sharpened and the world around me was suddenly brought to life as I gazed over the park and saw it vibrantly as if for the first time in forever. My bones suddenly became harder, yet my body felt as light as a feather, like I could dance across the clouds without the worry of falling through, even my nails grew longer till they were a fine razor-sharp point. Perfect for tearing through metal and dicing flesh, the only discomfort I felt was my jaw. I had to open it and crack it a couple of times when my lower jaw momentarily disconnected from the rest of my face so to readjust and accommodate the fangs that graced my mouth.

By the time the transformation was complete and my human consciousness took the backseat I had already beat Speedy to the scene of the accident and with my sharpened senses I peered into the hole, but discovered much to my dismay nothing. Speedy stopped beside me, breathing heavily he pointed ahead and said, "This is the impact sight; I caught a glimpse of our green fireball flying over the park. I'm pretty sure the damn thing bounced from here into the city somewhere."

I sneered, "Then let's go after it."

"Back-up?"

"Word will spread, right now I don't want to lose the only lead we have to X so lets do the others a favor and track it down."

He stood straight up and smirked arrogantly as he mockingly saluted me, "On your six boss."

Lucky us Speedy saw fit to go on this interrupted date with his quiver of arrows and his bow despite his casual wear. I nodded and without further delay I dropped from the makeshift hillside and raced across the crater to bound up the other side and dart into the trees with Speedy at my six. Now, contrary to popular belief, I'm not super-fast, and I'll never be, I could run about as fast as an Olympic sprinter with longer endurance that might possibly create the illusion that I had inhuman speed, but no. Only the pure-breeds, the true demons could travel long, far, and fast, with godlike strength and the like, I was merely a half-demon, therefore if you do the math I could only measure up to half that power.

If I was lucky enough to measure up to anything at all that is.

I was pretty sure, because I've deluded my demon-half with so much of my human-half, if I were to challenge Malchior in this form he'd win by a landslide. Simply because I don't train with my demon-half … I was always taught to conceal it, keep it locked away, and to never, ever, under any circumstance unleash it. Needless to say I became more human than demon, unlike Lucas who wasn't even a demon at all, but a mere copy of the original. It wasn't until much later, pretty much when I first discovered Robin and we created the Titans along with the others on our team, did I realize that there was no way I could keep my demon sealed away forever.

So, thanks to the Titans I learned, eventually, that I couldn't change who I was no matter how many good deeds I performed, I was a demon … and I either had to accept it … or learn to wield it as a weapon. I chose the latter of the two and though I was still training myself how to use this form, I was confident enough to give it a test run now. With Speedy still keeping pace behind me I broke through the last portion of the park, jumped the fence and landed on the sidewalk. There, I stood frozen in place when I felt a slight tremor in the ground when another explosion went off; Speedy landed beside me and huffed, "That sounds like … what … sixteen blocks from here?"

I scowled and evoked my magic to hover off the ground till I was above Speedy, I didn't have to say anything, he lifted his bow up over his head and I grabbed it. With him still holding on I used my magic to help me lift him off the ground as we soared over the streets and higher till we were above the buildings where we spotted the mushroom-cloud not too far off. I pushed myself faster till we were finally over the chaos and I caught a glimpse of Blackfire attempting to charge up a purple energy-ball to launch at her assailant, but her opponent was faster.

He disarmed her by launch a starbolt into her energy-field which dissipated her ball and caused it to implode upon itself. The explosion flung the two a part one up the street and one down. I lowered myself over a building and Speedy shouted, "Drop me here!"

So I did, I released him on the building and gently landed beside him. No sooner had I done so did both or communicators go off at once, Speedy ignored his as he notched an arrow into his bow and picked a target: Blackfire. I answered the call and no surprise there; it was Robin on the other line, _"Raven! Trouble, you and Speedy head down to sector eighteen pronto, there's some sort of disturbance over there."_

"Already here, it's Blackfire and some other Tameranian –" I cringed when another explosion rocked the building and pierced my eardrums, I hissed then turned back to the screen and said, "It's getting messy Robin and I have no idea who's on who's side."

Robin scowled, _"This isn't about sides, if they continue people are going to get hurt, hold them off till we get there, that's an order!"_

"Copy." I flipped the communicator closed and looked up at Speedy to find the archer grinning at me.

"So … light meat? Or dark?"

"You take Blackfire, I'll cover the stranger."

"You got it." With that said he leapt over the edge of the seven story building, leaving me to dive after him, grab the back of his shirt to keep him from hitting the pavement with a splat, and at the right time release him so he could drop and roll after Blackfire. It worked like a charm and once I was free I half flew, half ran up the street towards the stranger thinking it was Strongheart, but again, I was wrong.

Once the Tameranian picked _her_self up off the ground after another attack gone wrong, she lifted herself into the air and growled. Screaming something in Tameranian she looked ready to throttle Blackfire, but I leapt high into the air and tackled her back onto the ground. She cushioned my fall, but she took the brunt of it and needless to say, she wasn't very happy. She screamed and with glowing green eyes she snarled up at me and in perfect English (thank Azar) she said, "How dare you meddle with this challenge! You have no right to stop me from avenging my family's honor!"

She was strong, hella strong; I couldn't hold her down, even with my added demonic-strength. Like a rag-doll she tossed me off of her and I landed on the pavement with a slight bounce, I grunted, but otherwise rolled back on my feet quick enough to dodge a lethal blow to my skull when her fist pounded the pavement and created an indent. Whoever she was, she was mad as all hell with me, her eyes still glowing a deadly green, pinned me with a look that promised absolute death. I tensed for a fight, but something in the back of my mind kept nagging me, telling me that I've seen this woman before … but where?

Maybe if her eyes weren't glowing hot-green I'd be able to figure it out.

Speaking of eyes, she fired a deadly laser beam at me, I dodged it, nimbly rolling, running, and ducking out of her range and the moment she seized fire I lifted up chunks of debris from her previous battle and flung it at her with my power. At the same time she was obliterating the boulders with her fists I stealthily snuck up to her and landed a solid punch straight across her jaw. I then spun around and landed a kick to her temple where she dropped to the ground more in shock than pain. Her eyes stopped glowing green for a brief moment and I could see her full face (minus the smudged dirt from my shoe on her cheek that is), she looked up at me and I arched a brow, _She was at the tournament thing … she must be the other woman that sat beside Strongheart … his sister! _

Wow … I guess he was telling the truth about one thing.

In any other case I would have asked her what honor was there to restore against _Blackfire _she was a convicted felon, band from her own planet, and banished from the throne. Blackfire, in the eyes of her government and her people, held no more authority or worth than a grain of sand! She was lower than dirt! But culture was culture and I had no right to judge them, so I didn't, however I did have the right to defend myself when Strongheart's sister took me by surprise with her hidden speed and jumped me. On the ground I gasped for air when she closed her hands over my throat and clenched it so tight she could have easily crushed my windpipe.

With a maniacal look on her face she whispered, "Die …"

Tighter and tighter still, I choked and started seeing spots, my claws dug into her arm, but it didn't seem to faze her in the least. _Dammit! Think! Think! Think! _I couldn't say my mantra, my demon wasn't strong enough to deal with her, and I was pinned to the ground losing oxygen fast. With my mind racing a mile a second trying to think of someway to get out of this rut before I died, someone else figured it out for me. Without warning Strongheart's sister suddenly released me and as I gasped for air I was aware of the fact her entire weight had left me as well. I propped myself up in a sitting position and searched for the crazy Tameranian while still breathing heavily, only to find her on her knees with X – in full uniform minus his mask – gripping her in a deadly choke-hold that could easily snap her neck in two.

It took a moment for me to process what was going on, but when it finally did I leapt on my feet and without thinking and only reacting I balled my hand into a fist and punched X hard enough to knock him over and to release his grip on Strongheart's sister. They dropped to the ground, bewilder and confused, Strongheart's sister blinked at either of us, but X just stared at me in wordless shock as he shook his head and shrugged as if to ask: _What the fuck?_

I replied by rushing up to him and helping him back on his feet none too politely and shoved him as hard as I could without the use of my demonic strength and I snarled, "Get out of here what the hell are you thinking?!"

He glared, "Uh, I think I just saved your life! A thanks is in order!"

"My life is not worth the risk you are taking right now if you don't get the hell out of here!"

He looked as if I had slapped him across the face and he couldn't believe I did it, Azar I wish I did, "Not worth the risk?! What the hell does that –!" He stopped himself suddenly and shook his head to change tactics, "Fuck it, now's not the time, but this isn't over."

"…" I didn't bother to reply, I just wanted him out of here, I wanted him to hide, I wanted him to be the thief that he was and not give a shit about my life anymore! I didn't want him to risk _anything _not a damn thing for me, especially not at the cost of going to prison by my hands. How stupid, how selfish of him to be unselfish in a time when he should be selfish enough to turn the other way! By the Gods I hope no cameras were around to witness that… I screamed, "Shit!"

Strongheart's sister!

Where did she go?!

I searched all around me and it wasn't until I looked down the street where Speedy was still trying to hold off Blackfire did I see him also trying to dodge the other Tameranian's attacks. I gritted my teeth and ran to help him; just in the knick of time I grabbed his quiver and yanked him towards me when I saw both Blackfire and Strongheart's sister preparing to launch attacks at the other with Speedy sandwiched in the middle. Seconds after he stumbled over a chip in the pavement and fell on his ass the explosion enveloped us in a cloud of smoke that immediately cleared up when Blackfire kicked off the ground and rushed her opponent.

Speedy coughed, "Jeez, what took you so long?"

I ignored him and instead said, "Cover your ears."

I then took off to separate the two women before they did any further damage, once I jogged close enough I summoned up my soul-self and lifted up a wall of darkness between the two. I forced them to back off as the giant black raven peered over them and screeched loud enough to shatter all the windows in the surrounding buildings. Blackfire and Strongheart's sister floated back to the ground holding their ears desperately trying to shut the noise out. Once I grew close enough to either of them, I dropped the raven from existence and went over to Strongheart's sister who was quickly recovering from the shock of the sound-waves.

I rushed her to keep her on the ground, but she saw me coming and jumped back into the air to continue her assault. I skidded to a stop when she charged up her fists with green energy and prepared to fire, I prepared to block, but then I heard a familiar _ZING _noise, it wasn't from X, but from one of Robin's explosive disks. It was headed straight for Strongheart's sister, but the moment it got within two feet from her chest Speedy's arrow intercepted the disk and _BOOM!_

The explosion was enough to push me back, my demon senses tingled at the strength behind both concussion bombs going off at once, but my sight was fine enough to catch a glimpse of Blackfire. The ex-princess and the smarter of the two Tameranian women didn't bother to either finish the challenge or fight the Titans, she took off running first then jumped into the air gaining altitude and speed till it was pointless to go after her. Meanwhile, Strongheart's sister laid unconscious on the pavement … one too many explosions could do that to a person I suppose, she just couldn't take it and finally conked out. I sighed with relief, but Bumble Bee wasn't too happy, "Aww, come on! What a jip! We come all the way out here for a fight and instead get left with the clean-up! I told you it was a left at Kaushic Street!"

Aqualad (apparently the one she was referring to) argued back with the sound of disbelief laced in his tone, "Wha – me?! _Robin _was the one driving and you're blaming this on _me?!"_

"You had the map!"

Speedy instigated, "You gave fish-boy over here a map? Wow, that's awfully clever of you, next time why don't you stop by the reef and ask Dori where it is, I'm sure she'd remember."

From then on the argument ensured, but I tuned them out as I helped Robin properly cuff and secure the unconscious Tameranian. After securing a metal plate over her head and around her eyes he looked up at me and first asked the obvious, "Who is she?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, but I think she's Strongheart's sister, she was fighting with Blackfire to avenge her family's honor apparently."

"…" Robin stared at the woman for a moment longer before huffing and shaking his head, "I would have preferred to have captured Blackfire … but … you work with what you got."

"Mmhm …"

"…"

I felt his aura suddenly shift uneasily and I looked at him with concern, "Something wrong?"

He looked at me with his masked eyes then tilted his head and asked with a slow creeping smile on his lips, "How was your date?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes.

**--**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Never, Never Land, Treasure Island, or Wonderland … someone else does, neither do I own the Titans, DC owns them, Lucas and 'Strongheart's sister' are the people that I DO own, so no touchy!!**

**A/N: Wow wie, I think I owe you guys an apology for this chapter too WAYY to long for my tastes =( I'm sorry, but you gotta admit, a lot of shit took place here. A lot of things to digest and the like, so if you have any questions that can't already be answered with the wait of the next chapter, or you got any comments, suggestions you know what to do. Until then, I'll see you all**

**L8er daez!!**


	21. Let It Go

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Let It Go**

"_AAARRRRHHAAA!!"_ Strongheart's sister Cassidia'n or _Moonburst _in English screamed and smashed her fist into the thick metal sheet of her current holding cell. She created a crater (one of many) in the four (six if the ceiling and the floor were counted) walls all around her and still the room was able to withstand her immense strength. Robin stood leaning on the control panel watching his monitor with the heated intensity of a predator stalking his prey. I could already see him salivating, wanting to pounce and sink his teeth into his victim and whining in his head because he could do nothing about it. Moonburst was too strong and too pissed off at the moment to even think about putting another Titan in the same room as her.

So for the longest time already we sat monitoring her behavior.

Well, I sat anyway, in the seat behind Robin and back in full uniform with my feet propped up on the consol and my arms crossed over my chest, a bored huff escaped my lips when Moonburst once again took a swing at the wall left adjacent to the wall we were behind. My impatiens was becoming quite noticeable and I was sure Robin was aware of it when he spared me a quick dismissive glance. I rolled my eyes and huffed again, being stuck here in this dark room with the only source of light coming from a blue-light which cast an eerie glow throughout the tiny space was not how I planned to spend what little of my night I had left.

Not to mention I had yet to shower off the grime, sweat, and filth from the fight earlier this afternoon. I wasn't able to rinse off prior to this mind-numbingly interesting sit-and-watch parade Robin was forcing me to participate in because once I returned to the Tower with Speedy and the others in tow I had to run the diagnostics with Aqualad. Providing whatever assistance I could to keep the Tameranian alive long enough for Robin to question, I was beginning to doubt that we'll _ever _get a crack at interrogating the pent up alien. Thus I sit bored out of my mind, filthy, and annoyed with every ear-shattering shriek that came out of Mooburst's mouth. I was close to my breaking-point and Robin still had yet to take his eyes off of the monitor.

As if her screaming, pouting, and cursing was going to give him any answers.

Feh … good luck with that.

The clock ticked … and it tocked … and the hours grew longer … and the night waned, I sighed heavily and when I deduced that Robin was purposefully ignoring me I finally stood up. I shuffled to the monitor in order to see for myself what the hell was so fascinating about this steroid-induced psychopath that didn't even understand the meaning of the slang _chill. _With one hand on the console I leaned forward and through the corner of my eye I glared at my obsessed leader and said, "Staring at her all night is not going to help with anything … you might as well get some rest and interrogate her tomorrow. Maybe by then she would have exhausted herself enough to even go anywhere near her."

"…" he didn't say anything, he ignored me and it didn't surprise me. Robin was … Robin, and he'll ignore the entire world if it meant he'd be able to solve a single problem over night. His drive was commendable, but it was also unbearable, I rolled my eyes again and opened my mouth to insist upon my discharge, but he suddenly spoke up, "She didn't finish it …"

I arched a brow, "… Who?"

"Blackfire," his frown turned darker and he finally looked away from the monitor to stare at the darkness in thought, "she didn't even try to finish it … as soon as she saw us she took off … why?"

That thought had crossed my mind, so I gave him my respective answer, "She was smart; she knew she couldn't take on the Titans and Moonburst at once, so she ran."

He shook his head, "No … Starfire told me about these challenges, once it's initiated there's no way to back out, and if Blackfire values her pride as much as I think she does she would have been just as hell-bent as Moonburst is to finish the fight."

I frowned when I knew where he was taking this, "You're thinking this was a set up? Blackfire planned Moonburst's arrest?"

"… I'm saying … it's a possibility."

I nodded and agreed with a shrug, "She's done something like this before … but that still doesn't answer the question of why she didn't just kill Moonburst like you said."

He huffed and bowed his head with his brows furrowed and a scowl on his lips, "The problem is we only have one part of the equation … we're missing our constant variable, X … what does he have to do with all this?" He started to think to himself, and I let him, I wanted to hear what he had to say because to be perfectly honest I was just as curious as he was about Moonburst's sudden appearance and where X fit into it. As far as I can tell he wasn't the type to get involved with personal grudges that dealt with old traditions, honor, and dignity. No, he avoided those like the plague. Robin was on to something, I just wish I was smart enough to spot it before he did, but then again, Robin was the detective, not me.

He shook his head again and said to himself, but aloud so I could hear it, "We're being played like puppets on a goddamn string … what are they thinking …"

"…" I didn't bother to say anymore, neither of us bothered to speak and as if on cue the doors into the Blue Room opened to Aqualad and Speedy, Aqualad with a tray of beverages and Speedy with a bag of donuts.

They smiled at us and Aqualad beamed, "Sugar and caffeine, a great way to keep the body functioning beyond its capacity, or so I'm told."

"If it's blackened with no cream or sugar that's the way Robin likes it," I informed him as I stood aside for Speedy to place the donuts on the consol we shared a brief look with one another before he backed away and plopped into the chair I was sitting in not too long ago.

Aqualad then stepped up to me, still with his friendly smile and handed me a warm cup, "Herbal tea, Speedy said you'd like it."

I blinked, then took the cup and nodded my head tentatively quite honestly surprised the archer even remembered me saying I preferred the tea over caffeine, it was … thoughtful of him. I grew a feeling that the archer was watching us out of the corner of his masked eyes, but I pretended not to notice and instead thanked Aqualad, "Thank you."

The Atlantian beamed again but then cringed when he heard Moonburst scream again followed with another loud _bang _that suggested she punched or kicked another wall. Speedy looked at the monitor and whistled, "Damn is she pissed … has she said anything?"

Robin took the liberty of answering him, "Not a word, other than to remind us that we had no right to interfere with some revenge streak she's on against Blackfire."

"Revenge streak huh …" Speedy took a bite of a donut and I took a sip of my herbal tea, instant content washed over me when the warmth of the liquid ran down my throat and filled the pit of my belly. It felt and taste really good to me, and Speedy, somehow still seemed to notice this despite him putting in his two-cents worth of a suggestion to Robin, "So you mean you haven't interrogated her yet?"

Robin huffed, "She's still too violent to question, I'm surprised she didn't destroy the camera yet."

"Well … that's because she _wants _to talk." Everyone turned to Speedy; the archer looked at everyone, smirked and shrugged, "What? You didn't think about it? Oh come on, it's obvious; all this noise and she still hasn't put out the camera? People like her _want _to be heard. She _wants _to whine, bitch, and complain about her problems much like the next emo-kid no one wants to hang out with on the playground. Just give it a shot and I guarantee you she'll be singing like a canary."

Robin and I shared a similar look, but Aqualad nodded and agreed, he even turned to us and said, "He's right, we had the same problem not too long ago with this other guy that slaughtered his entire family, he nearly destroyed the interrogation room down at the police station, but he kept the windows intact."

I frowned, "That doesn't suggest the suspect wanted to tell his life story …"

Speedy chuckled, "No it doesn't," he then stood up and dusted his hands from the sugary donut as he headed back out the door, "but it won't hurt that much to try."

Before any of us could stop him he was already out the door and undoing the lockdown to allow himself into the same room with Moonburst. Robin growled, "The idiot!"

Aqualad sighed heavily, "And to think, I have to deal with him on a daily basis … should one of us go in there to make sure he stays alive?"

I snorted, "If he is an idiot he shouldn't be allowed to reproduce, Darwin says let him die."

No one moved, no one knew exactly what to do, and we were too late to do anything anyway, the doors hissed open, Speedy stepped in, and then the doors shut and automatically locked him in with a suddenly frozen Moonburst. The Tameranian wild-cat with her frizzed out pitch-black hair and light neon green eyes stood on the far side of the room, tense, and antsy, but much to our great comfort she didn't try to attack him, she just looked frustrated. Robin, Aqualad, and I watched the monitor intently when Speedy took a step closer to Moonburst, and the Tameranian's shoulders went rigid. I put down my tea and chewed on my lower lip nervously when the archer smirked and said coolly, _"Hey."_

Moonburst hesitated, and then growled, _"You're the man that interfered with the challenge."_

He shook his head, _"No, I'm the man that made sure the two of you didn't destroy the entire city … by the way, what was the fight all about?"_

Moonburst held up her head and declared, _"To avenge my family's honor from that glofnax of a putka!"_

"_Oookay, assuming of course I know what you mean, you mind being a little more specific for the record? What did Blackfire –"_

"_Do not dare say that putka's name in my presences!"_

My stomach dropped and a startled gasp nearly escaped my lips when Moonburst's green eyes lit up furiously and she took a step in advance. Speedy in response took one step back to keep the distance and even held up his hands to keep her at bay, _"Okay, okay, I get it … but what did she do to upset you exactly? Maybe we can help you."_

"_Help me? Can you bring that lying whore to my feet so I can burn her alive and spit in her grave?"_

"… _Um … how 'bout we start small?" _I nearly slapped a hand over my forehead and cringed, but kept my composure and continued to monitor the interrogation, _"Like, you tell me what's going on, and I'll see if I can get you moved to a nicer location, probably one with a view if you're a good-girl."_

Moonburst glared at him skeptically, _"You're ways are strange to me … prisoners on my planet are not treated with such kindness …"_

"_Hey, this is Earth, most places here you're innocent till proven guilty …"_

"…"

"…"

"… _She has made a mockery of my family by leading the Hexezbrk'fe towards my people's dwelling, my mother and father we taken to that damnable kingdom of hers and executed by those flee bitten dogs! My brother and I were lucky to have escaped with our lives and vowed to avenge our family by killing that putka, but apparently that two faced whore cannot face us by herself. She has enlisted help that badly injured my brother and forced us to spread our separate ways so my brother can heal and I can find some way of finally destroying that good-for-nothing –!"_

"_What kind of help has she enlisted?"_

Moonbeam scowled, _"Monsters, beasts from Zofnm itself that spout flames from their maw, and drain life with a single touch … she deserves to suffer for her cowardice ways!"_

"… _Did one of them happen to be dressed in all black … with a skull face and a red x?"_

She growled, _"That monster lead my brother into the trap that dealt him his near death!"_

"_And do you know the names of the other's that were with her?"_

"_No, but I shall never forget a face. Never."_

"…" with that, Speedy left the room and moments later returned to the Blue Room with a heavy sigh and a conclusion, "That chick is out of her effing mind."

I scoffed, "I doubt you'd be sane enough to focus properly when you know the cause of your family's death was not fighting a fair fight …" _But why didn't X tell me about the sister? _I thought with furrowed brows as Speedy took a post beside me, forcing me to lean against the wall while he peered into the monitor at the somber Tameranian and then looked down at me.

He said with his eyes transfixed on me, "Nevertheless, we now know there are more players in the mix besides Red X and Backfire …"

"…" I didn't say anything, didn't betray anything, but for some strange reason I couldn't take my eyes off Speedy and vise versa, we stared each other down as if waiting for the other to give in to some unknown pressure that was building between us. Perhaps, he wanted me to cave and tell him anything that might lead to the other accomplices Moonburst was talking about. Or perhaps it was nothing at all, maybe I was just looking too deep into it and Speedy was just staring at me to stare at me. Either which the staring surprisingly didn't make me feel uncomfortable in the least, just conscious of it.

So since I felt no competition I blinked away from him to tilt my head and look towards Robin who (with Aqualad) had been watching us both curiously (how long had we been staring at each other exactly?). I pretended to not care and asked, "What do we do from here?"

Robin snapped out of his curiosity and shrugged when a disgruntled frown appeared on his face, "I … hardly know who I am anymore … from her description it sounds like we're looking into metas, something that seems so out of character for X to be dealing with … it's like he's playing a whole new game."

"One that he probably doesn't know the rules to yet no doubt," Aqualad said as he took a bit of a cream filled donut and cringed when the lemon filling didn't go over too well with his taste-buds. I frowned inwardly and looked away from everyone to glare at the monitor, Aqualad and Robin were right, X was playing a whole new game and it showed he didn't exactly know how to play it with how close everyone in this Tower was sniffing. Moonburst looked up at the camera and my glare turned into a dark look of spite, stupid girl … it was all her fault!

If she hadn't gotten caught Robin and everyone else would still be left in the dark about Malchior and Lucas!

Now I knew it wasn't going to take Robin long to put the pieces together.

Stupid, _stupid _Tameranian, why didn't Blackfire just kill her when she had the chance?!

My demon rose up without warning and before I could stop it my powers blew out the monitor and startled the men in the room. Immediately I felt Robin's concern cloud over me when he heard me sigh in frustration, someone placed their hand on my shoulder, I thought it was Robin, but when I looked up I found it was Speedy. He stared at me with a look of concern as he asked softly, "You alright?"

I gulped and answered quickly with the first thing that came to mind, "Stress … I need sleep."

Robin finally spoke up after he heard my explanation, "Fine, get some rest Raven, I think you've done enough for one day."

I didn't argue and quietly exited the room and trudged on to my floor and my room where I was now operating solely on autopilot to keep my emotions sealed away. I hardly was aware of myself when I grabbed my towel, some change of clothes and headed back down towards the coed shower-room. The doors slid open and I was aware of the wall directly in front of me that forced me to either go left or right, the signs said the right side were the lockers, while the left were the showers. First, I went to the lockers and picked the one that was deepest in the room the furthest away from the door where anyone coming in would have to really try hard to find me as I undressed and then headed for the showers.

I stepped into the wide open space and discovered much to my great delight that the shower heads each had their own little stalls that shielded the essentials with a single small door that swung open and closed. I gladly jumped into one, hung my towel on the hook outside the door, and immediately turned on the water. W-O-W … I really, _really _like hot showers, the water felt so good, and I could feel the tenseness in my shoulders loosen and my powers settle collectively and calmly. The water washed over my face and through my hair, I lifted up the soaked tendrils over my head, but froze when I heard Speedy's deep, very masculine voice envelop the shower-room as he said, "He must really be one helluva guy if you're still pining over him."

I scowled and glared over my shoulder expecting the lecherous archer to be grinning at my naked body, but instead I had a view of his side profile as he leaned his back against the wall beside my stall. His eyes fixed ahead staring at nothing and no one, it made me arch a suspicious brow. Especially since: One, I didn't hear him enter, and Two, how much had he actually seen _before _making his presences known. _Bastard, _I growled in my head, but otherwise trusted him (feh, right) to keep his eyes in his head as I turned back around to finish my shower, ignoring him while I did so.

But he was persistent.

He went on to ask suddenly, "Makes me wonder, have you guys slept together yet?"

I sputtered and snapped at him, "That is none of your business."

"I'll take that as a no … but it's interesting … I think it's the curiosity and the chase that's keeping you two together. Want to know how it feels, but too scared to initiate it, yeah, I'm sure if you just get it over with it'll eliminate all desire you have of him."

I rolled my eyes and before I stop my mouth from moving, I sarcastically replied, "Or it could strength whatever bond we have."

He snorted, "No, I don't think so … you seem the type to be scared out of her mind by commitment, not even sex can hold you down if you know there's a possibility you might get hurt."

"…" I didn't respond. Instead I slowly, suspiciously, turned my head to glare at him over my shoulder and thought, _Where the hell is all this coming from? How much does he actually know? And why does he … care … _

Since I didn't respond to his accusations he went on with a shrug, "Being scared isn't really isn't necessarily a bad thing … I mean, those who are scared of commitment know how big of a deal it really is."

"…" Still playing mute I bowed my head to glare at the running water which poured into the drain below me; he did have a point, a good one. I won't deny it, I am scared of commitment, I avoid it like the plague. It was a fact that no one outside of my squad knew was true … yet … for Speedy to pick up on it in a matter of two days was unsettling. I once said I didn't like to be analyzed, and it was this particular reason why I don't like it. I hated to be read like an open book. It felt like … like I was shallow somehow, that there was really nothing for anyone to look forward to in a conversation with me because they could already read who I am on my face.

Like … I wasn't interesting … or intriguing in anyway.

I've already figured that I wasn't physically interesting or intriguing, but to be the same personality wise?

Well, damn, that just made me feel two-dimensional, no depth whatsoever.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

I had to shut him up before he made me feel even more like crap with his crudely truth-filled comments.

"… Hello? You still – " he moved to look into the stall as if to make sure I was still alive, yet caught himself before he did so, but it didn't matter. Once he realized I was pressed up against the door of my stall, my hands holding onto the edge as I hid myself from him and dripped with water. I stared at him with my deep violet eyes and locked him in my raw gaze so he couldn't tear away from me. I only wish I could see beyond his mask into his eyes, to know what his intentions were, what he really wanted from me … why he bothered.

Quietly, in a voice so soft I almost couldn't hear myself above the roaring shower behind me; I asked him, "Why do you care?"

"…" it was his turn to play mute as he took a moment to find the correct words to answer me, "…" he seemed to be giving up, when he finally shrugged one shoulder and responded, "I don't know … you just … you look like you need more than a friend … you need someone that understands what you're going through."

I frowned, "And you think you're that someone?"

"… I could be …"

Could he?

Could he really?

_No … he just doesn't get it … _I shook my head, and I didn't have to say a word before he caught on to what I was going to say. So he softly said my name in protest, "Raven –"

I cut him off, I had to control the conversation before I made any deals or gave away anything that might incriminate him, everyone I cared about, and me for that matte. So, tiredly, I argued, "My problem, Speedy, is my problem … I don't want to drag you into it … I'm going to hurt a lot of people already, don't add yourself to my body count."

He pushed off the wall to face me with a determined frown on his lips, he wasn't going to go away quietly that was for sure, "Just ask me to help you Raven, and I will … you gotta at least give me the benefit of the doubt here, I'm not Robin, I won't judge you."

Grinding my teeth I put my foot down and said, "No, Speedy … just … leave it alone, leave me alone … go away …"

"…"

"… Now."

It took a second … but he heeded my plea and left me alone.

And suddenly the warm water didn't feel so warm anymore.

It felt ice-cold … I shivered.

--

I didn't want to deal with life anymore, so I went to sleep.

I went to sleep, and I was dreaming … I had to be, the soft kisses on my bare-shoulder trialing up to the side of my face, the heat of his body against my back warming me as he leaned over to plant a chaste kiss on my lips that I automatically returned. My body moved on its own and rolled on its back while my hands went up to his shoulders and held him in place over me as he planted a harder kiss on my lips and again I responded automatically. When he pulled away, I already knew who he was without opening my eyes, I'd recognize his kiss anywhere at anytime, he whispered, "You awake?"

I mumbled, "Mmm … you …"

He chuckled softly and kissed my shoulder before whispering in my ear, "Me …"

I shuddered and slowly opened my eyes to glare at X's playful amber eyes, tiredly I growled, "You're not suppose to be here …"

"Yeah … but …" he pressed his forehead to mine and said, "here I am, what are you going to do about it?"

"Throw you out the window where you snuck in from …"

He stifled a loud laugh, but pulled away from me and propped himself on his hands as he glared down at me and I was finally aware that this wasn't a dream. X was really here … on my bed … hovering over me … and grinning down at me with a naughty glint in his eyes, he snickered, "You know I actually came here to yell at you for that fucked up thing you said in the city."

I sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled as I closed my eyes, by the gods I was so tired … I blame Lucas … damn soul-eater and his sneak-attack, other than that I asked with my voice trailing into silence, "So what changed your mind …?"

"Watching you sleep, you look so exhausted."

I popped open one eye and glared at him for stating the obvious, "I am exhausted, so thank you for waking me."

He chuckled, "You're very much welcome."

_He's not going to let me sleep, _I concluded and opened both my eyes and waited for them to focus to the darkness of my room save for what little moonlight shone through my window. Well aware that I was only in my leotard with it's off the shoulder style and nothing more than air and a thin blanket keeping X from me, I stared up at him with a tired expression and let my eyes trail from his face to his attire and I frowned; he was still in his suit. He seemed to notice where my eyes went and grinned, "See something you like?"

I shot my eyes back up at his face and sneered, "Well that's the problem isn't it? I like you too much …" with a tired moan I pushed myself up into a sitting position forcing X to crawl enough away from me so I can prop myself up on my elbows and continue glaring at him, "I don't know how you got in here, but couldn't your little lecture wait till I left to go find you? It'll lessen the odds of anyone spotting your stupid-ass."

He scoffed and dismissed my insult with a backhanded reply of his own, "Feh, I love you too."

"…" I cringed; I didn't mind it much when he jokingly said he loved me at the start, but I knew – we both knew – that it meant something more than a joke now a days. Staring into his amber eyes I felt my stomach do flips and tie itself into knots at the mere thought of him loving me anymore than he would love a pet rock. I once said, to me, it felt strange to be the center of anyone's world … it still does, but to be the center of a thief's world. How does anyone react to that? How should _I _as his friend, and his enemy react to that knowledge?

_Let. It. Go. _I remembered Speedy tell me in the park, and I gulped. Suddenly I couldn't look X in his eyes anymore and I stared down at the sheets beneath me where I crumbled it into my fist and held onto it so tightly my knuckles turned white. Fully aware of his eyes still watching me, of the sound of his breathing, of the sound of my heart beating, and of the fact that we were still so close to each other it should be considered illegal in some way. I bit down on the inside of my lower lip and began to chew on it when Speedy once again whispered in the back of my head, _Let. It. Go. _

My chest started to hurt when I felt an odd aching sensation in the pit of my heart begin to grow stronger and stronger. I hated it. So I immediately willed it away and shook Speedy from my head, I don't need a conscious, particular one that looked and sounded like one of the biggest players in the Titan community. Besides, what does he know about me? He had no right to pretend to care about me … he had no right to give me advice when he himself hardly – if ever – followed advice given to him. No, Speedy's words shouldn't be giving me a hard time, but damn him to hell and back for hitting the nail square on the head.

Stupid archer, always having to get the target right, I could have gone on to curse Speedy black and blue, but a tiny gasp escaped my throat when X suddenly grabbed me and yanked me out from under the sheets. Feeling weightless I yelped when I was thrown back down at the foot of my bed with X pinning my arms to my side. I tried to suppress a small shiver that crept up my spine when the cold air of my room invaded my bare legs and chills appeared on my flesh. Annoyed, I scowled at the thief who hovered over me and stated with a finite tone of voice that made my heart sink, "You're so worth it Rae … I mean it too …"

I shook my head and tried to push him off me, but he refused to let up, so I huffed in exasperation and argued, "No, I'm not X. No one is, or should be worth the risk you took today … why didn't you have your mask on anyway?"

He frowned, "Strongheart cracked it, I could barely see out of it, but that's not the point –"

"You made your point X, I get it … I don't like it, but I get it …" I fought against him to let me up and this time he did, I sat up and brought my knees up to my chest to rest my chin on my knees as I stared at my rumbled bed-sheets and sighed, "Why didn't you tell me Strongheart's sister was on Earth as well?"

He suddenly looked away from me and seemed apprehensive about telling me, I waited patiently for the truth, and then he said, "Because then the plan wouldn't have worked out as well as it had … after Carmen's birthday, when I left for Steel City for those three days with Blackfire I thought it was just Strongheart that I had to deal with. We set the bait, Strongheart took it, but when we jumped him his sister appeared out of the blue and rescued his ass." He scowled, "So we had to track them down somewhere here in Steel … Lucas caught wind of the sister's location and we set up the bait, she fell for it, and now you guys have her."

"And what do we have to do with your little plan?"

He shrugged, "Nothing much, just keep her with you while we spread the word of her capture, Strongheart – no matter how fucked up he is – will come looking for his sister. You guys take him down and send them back to Tameran for their people to deal with. That simple."

I pulled my head up and tilted it with narrowed eyes, "That simple huh …"

"Yeah …"

"And how long exactly are we going to have to wait for Strongheart to show up?"

He shrugged again, "With how closely linked those two are, I don't think you'll have to wait very long, but I can't set a date on it."

"Fair enough."

A pregnant pause filled the air, we tried to keep our eyes from meeting, but the temptation was too great, I looked up almost the same time he did and slowly his trademark smirk returned to his lips. I bit down on my lower lip when he sat back on my bed and gestured for me to crawl towards him; I sneered at him and refused to move because he told me so. Instead I rolled over and landed my feet on my floor, but before I could stand up to change into something more fitting than my leotard X tackled me back onto my bed.

"_Ahh!"_ I yelped in annoyance, but gasped when just as soon as my head hit the mattress I was flung up like a rag-doll now straddling X's lap, I grip his shoulders to keep my head from spinning but as soon as he pressed his forehead to mine I growled, "Now is not the time to play grab-ass X …"

He chuckled, "Funny, because the last time I remembered us in this particular position we struck up a little deal … now I'm just curious, can we amend the contract?"

I sat up and slowly pulled my face from his to stare him down with a straight face, wondering if Speedy was right, if I did finally sleep with X would my interest in him fade? It was an interesting inquiry, one that I knew wouldn't hurt me either way … I had already slept with Malchior and that was mind-blowing enough as it was. Hell, I was pretty sure Wonder Woman would have packed up her bags and moved right in with X if she knew how it felt like to lay with a dragon. Sleeping with X won't make me suddenly fall in love with him … but I knew damn well that it would further root me into even deeper shit than I already was in.

I sucked in a deep breath then sighed and licked my lips, slowly, from left to right which humorously mesmerized him and once I got his full attention I replied, "We could have a moment to ourselves I suppose … but I highly doubt you'd want to do anything here …"

He grinned and the hands on my waist slithered to my lower back where he pulled me even closer to him and whispered, "And why is that? I always got the impression that you'd prefer your own bed."

"…" I shoved him on the bed and holding him down with my hands on his shoulder I crept over him and as my hair fell over us I tossed my head back to get it out of the way before I stared down at his still grinning face and whispered even softer so he had to strain to hear me, "The floor could do wonders for your back …" with my eyes I gestured up over his head to the ventilation posted over the head of my bed that poured out the cool air into the room. He arched his neck and his back to get an upside down view of the vent while I explained, "That virtually acts as a megaphone from here to my neighbor's room, any loud noise could be carried and amplified to the next room, see my point."

X grumbled, "Why is it every time I'm alone with you the world has to get in the way?"

I scoffed, "Maybe it's just not meant to be," I said offhandedly, but with my empathetic powers I felt X's aura flash depressingly, but I disregarded it and sat up with a sigh, "but other then that, you need to get out of here, so where do you want me to drop you off?"

"Drop me off?"

"Yes, this Tower's walls contain a sheet of led which will interfere with your teleportation-system, the only way out to prevent anyone from knowing of your presence would be through me. So where are we going?"

He propped himself up with his elbows and huffed, "Well, I guess you could drop me off back at the Caribbean … Lucas still needs a place to stay and he needs to talk to you about something."

"… What does he want?"

"Hell if I know … but you might as well get it out of the way."

I don't think I like Lucas one bit at this point, but with a heavy sigh I conceded. I called to my cape which was hanging on the back of my couch and I whirled it on with a clip. Once in place I grabbed the edge of it and with my eyes glowing white I engulfed us both in blackness and shot through the ceiling. While I let my soul-self take shape I allowed my demon blood to boil over my human mind in order to keep from losing anymore precious energy I had left as I traveled the sixteen blocks over the city landscape to the Callie Strip. It wasn't long till I finally reached the Caribbean and dove through the glass sunroof to then take my shape and deposit X on the familiar steel platform.

It was cold to the touch of my bare feet; I figured if I was just going to drop X off, chat with Lucas, I won't be here too long.

Surprisingly (or rather not, it was a week-night) the Caribbean was closed, meaning no music was booming through the thick brick walls and all was still … not to mention dark. As a matter of fact, now that I had a look for myself, the studio looked empty with the exception of all the furniture still in their places. The lights, however, were out, and the stillness unnerved me, but X trudged on as if nothing was the matter. He undid his cape and tossed it over the rail to hang and hopped down the spiral staircase through the darkness, to then blind me when he flicked a switch and the studio suddenly exploded with light I wasn't prepared for. At least, my demon blood wasn't prepared for it, my pupils had already dilated to absorb what little light I had from my room to here so the sudden shine was cause for a little pain.

I immediately shrank away from the light and winced when my pupils dilated to tight slits that left me looking like a stunned cat when I tried to readjust to my surroundings. A couple of blinks later and my human sense of sight took over; the light didn't seem so bright anymore. I finally looked up and cautiously approached the rail. With my hands gripping the steel I looked over in time to spot X buttoning and zipping up a pair of jeans I wasn't aware he had changed into. He was still missing a shirt to go with it, but he didn't seem to care (and neither did I) as I leaned on the steel he looked up at me with a sneaky grin and I propped my chin in my palm, "How convenient …" my voice carried throughout the empty studio, "… Lucas isn't here …"

He snickered and pretended to peer around as if to look for the missing soul-eater, and when he couldn't find the particular person he shrugged and looked back up at me, "He's entitled to his own agenda."

"As are you."

He snickered again and with a slight tilt of his head part of his bangs fell to cover over his left eye, "You saying I set this up?"

"If I say that, it'll be suggesting I wasn't smart enough to figure you were playing me into a trap … so I'll just say it's a coincidence and give you the benefit of the doubt."

"That sounded like an insult, why don't you come down here and say that to my face."

"And I suppose it's another coincidence the bed is right next to you?" I snorted and straightened up from the rail, "If my intelligence is on the line I think I'll take my leave, goodnight X."

He scoffed, "Tease."

I turned my back on him and made my way to the office desk that still had a few sheets of paper on them, one of them caught my eye in particular. It had the red stamp: TOP SECRET on it and I can only assume it was a government file, needless to say I was curious. I thought X had all the evidence of his connection to this place destroyed, so why not snoop around a bit and I casually replied, "Name calling is unbecoming of you X."

I got close enough to the desk to see the top secret file had something to do with some sort of artifact hidden somewhere in the middle-east. His next project perhaps? A tingle in the back of my neck told me X had some how snuck up the stairs without my sensing it and he was coming for me. My demon instincts told me to turn around and attack before I was overtaken, but I reasoned that it was just X, and since I had the mind enough to stop him before anything got too serious, I could do it again.

I should have known my demon wouldn't see it that way.

His hands weighed heavy on my shoulders as he wrapped his arms around me and pressed his cheek to mine, his scent made my stomach turn into knots, I never knew he smelled so good, so appealing, so _male. _My lips parted slightly so I could breathe through my mouth to help control the scents that bombarded my senses, but it didn't help, not one bit. I took in his scent through my lips and my mouth salivated when I could almost literally _taste _him through the traitorous air around me. I licked the tips of my fangs that began to grow, and gritted my teeth when he unclipped my cape and tossed it on some chair I wasn't aware was nearby before now.

Inches from me … just inches from me he hovered without touching and it was driving me crazy, no … no … my demon, it was driving my demon blood crazy. I closed my eyes to get myself under control, I'll let him have a kiss or two, but then I have to go, because if I didn't leave now there was no way I was leaving for the rest of the night. That was a big no-no for me … not when there was early morning training exercise and Moonburst still – _"Ahh …"_

I sighed and whimpered softly when all he did was place his hands on my waist and dip his nose into my hair. His breath made my skin crawl and I wasn't prepared for the knot in my stomach to twist so much tighter the pain of pleasure made me lean forward to press my palms flat on the desk and over the papers. Instinctually my body pushed back so it was flush against his and low growl/purr rumbled in my chest, it made him chuckle and made me blush hot red when he leaned over me and pulled my hair from my face to whisper into my ear, "Somebody wants attention …"

I bowed my head in embarrassment, but my breathing was still heavy and grew heavier as I felt his finger tips tickle the sides of my body towards my back where the zipper of my leotard was and slowly he began to unzip it. My senses screamed at him to just rip it off, but my mind screamed at me to stop him, I tried so hard to listen to reason and for a moment I broke through the haziness of my lusty demon desires. I stole that chance to reach back and grab his wrist, to stop him from pulling the zipper down any lower than my middle-back, he held perfectly still, as did I and I thanked him for the second he gave me to catch my breath.

Once my head was semi on straight, I carefully stood back up on my feet, still with my hand holding his wrist and looked over my shoulder into his molten hot eyes that held me in place. I gulped and breathily said, "I'm not myself tonight … my demon … could hurt you."

He stared at me for a moment longer, then rolled his eyes and yanked his wrist from me harshly as he mumbled, "Jesus Rae …" I thought he would storm away in frustration because I denied him, but instead he spun me around and forced me to face him. I gulped again when the intensity of his eyes burned my flesh and his masculine scent made my head spin, it didn't help that his hands were still on my waist, holding me in place as he forced me to listen to him, "Why do you gotta do this to yourself? Why do you always worry about me and never consider that maybe, just maybe I don't give a shit."

"Well you should –" I began to argue, but I winced when he suddenly lifted me in the air and plopped me on the desk like a parent trying to level with their child.

I chewed on the inside of my lower lip when, straight to my face, he said the one thing no one else had ever dared say to me, not even Beast Boy when he grew fed up with my cold-hearted bitchy ways. He said, "Shut up. It's my turn to talk, your turn to listen."

"…" I was stunned speechless; no one, but _no one _tells _ME _to shut-up.

Yet, he went on as if he didn't notice my stunned silence, "I don't care anymore Raven, I don't. This … whatever it is we have going has got to go somewhere and it's fuckin' driving me insane when I don't know if you feel the same way or not. It's like, one minute you can't live without me and the next you can't stand to be with me. Can you make up your fucking mind? What do you want me to do, Raven, do you want me to stay, or do you want me to go … it's that simple. Otherwise, don't pretend to care about what happens to me if you don't care about what happens to yourself. Can you at least do _that _for me?"

"…" _Let. It. Go._

"…"

"…" _Let. It. Go._

"… Any year now, Raven."

_Let. It. Go. _Just let him go … let him go … I can do that … I've lived without him for most of my life … I think I can go on without him just the same.

I can do that … I can let him go.

I can.

I must … for his own sake.

I can do this … I can … I …

**--**

**Disclaimer: Moonburst/Cassidia'n and Strongheart are mine, everyone else belongs to DC …**

**A/N: XDDD aahhh!!! Don't you just **_**hate **_**second thoughts? I know I do, I'm wrong half the time I begin to doubt myself … trust me with this folks, go with intuition it's usually right … on good days anyway, on bad days it'll just make you look like an idiot, lol XDD. Whether Raven's having a good day or a bad night is … something to be left for you to ponder for the next chapter, just bare with me here ppl it just keeps getting better and better ;) …**

**L8er daez**


	22. Intentionally Thick

**A/N: Okay, don't judge, just give it a chance … plz …**

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Intentionally Thick**

…

I blinked away from X and sighed heavily as I gripped the edge of the desk I was still sitting on and glared at nothing but air. As if the cause of all my problems were because of the molecules and gases I was forced to breath due to the fact that I was a carbon-base creation of some God that obviously doesn't like me very much. However, did I have a right to complain about God's love for me? I was a demon … doesn't that mean the omnipresent God often looked at as a benevolent being should actually be looked at as a malicious bastard who played favorites? Loves only those who serve under him and who aren't born under the blasphemous affairs of the supernatural with the natural?

Ugh … I digress, but can you blame me?

By the Gods (or God) I'd rather challenge the belief of the believers, go up against the hardcore worshipers and declare that the monistic views was the hardcore truth and that the existence of an eternal being, that their God, was nothing but a made up fairytale. I'd rather be burned at the stake, crucified, receive fifty lashings, or even get strapped in the electric chair for saying Satan, Lucifer, the Prince of the Damned was the one true God instead of _thee _God. I could, for the sake of all humanity, for the sake of those I love, and for those I care about, I could martyr myself, and die for something I thought was worth believing in.

I could face my father again.

I could relive the agony the monks of Azarath put me through.

I could do a lot of things … but the one thing I couldn't do right now was look Red X, Drake, my friend, my enemy, and my confidant in his beautiful molten gold eyes that stared at me with growing impatience. I bit down on my lower lip, but winced when I accidentally bit down with my fang and I tasted blood, I licked at it, the tip of my tongue stuck out from my lips and X quickly dove in to massage my lips apart and run his own tongue over the wound. The slow motion in which he ran his tongue over my bottom lip and brushed it over the healing wound made me sigh breathlessly. Yet, when he suddenly jammed his tongue passed my fangs and gazed the very tip of it, I felt the hairs in the back of my neck stand on end.

My demon blood boiled at the aggressive gesture and I nearly dug my claws into his chest when my hands flew up to hold him back … or pull him close … I didn't know which one my body wanted. So I tried to hold perfectly still to not hurt him, but he was making it hard with all his coaxing and little nudges that begged me to respond, to make some sort of sound. Anything to suggest he wasn't the only one getting a thrill out of this sensation … yet, still, I refrained from fully participating and only kissed him back softly which just frustrated him until he finally pulled away to catch his breath.

With his hand that suddenly felt so much larger than before holding onto the back of my head to keep me inches from his heated face he opened his eyes and glared at me as he forced me to stare at him. Breathily, he said, "I know that face Raven … you're not thinking for yourself again."

"X …" I huffed and rolled my eyes, forcing myself from him I leaned back and sat up – but it still didn't matter, he was still taller than me despite being raised off the ground with this desk – with my eyes back on him I said, "You make this sound like it's all so easy … but we both know that it's not …" he opened his mouth to say something, but I shook my head as a gesture for him not to say a word. Thank Azar he got the message, and I sighed heavily again, "The problem you're not getting X is that this … whatever we have going, doesn't only involve you and me like it should. If one of us goes down … everyone behind either of us will go along for the ride. And don't say if we stick together that it won't happen … that's Disneyland, that's bullshit, it will happen … it is inevitable …"

I paused for a moment to let what I've said so far sink-in and to collect a few more words I felt like I needed to say. Mesmerized by the ridges which shaped his well defined rock-hard body, I found myself running my claws and sinking my fingers into the lines and tracing every muscle, intrigued by the idea of his suit doing this body no justice. The tip of my right pointer finger, my claw slowly ran up the single line that went from the middle of his stomach then slowly trailed down between his washboard abs, skipped over his belly-button to tap the hem of his pants and then retraced my imaginary trail.

I sucked in a deep breath while my fingers, with mines of their own, continued to explore his body without any complaint or encouragement. I tilted my head and looked back up at him when I felt the hand that was on the back of my head suddenly tangle its fingers within the waves of my silky violet hair, combing it back a couple of times just to make himself busy. I let him while I opened my mouth and went on to say, "The correct conclusion, would be for _me_ to go … to leave _you_ and everyone else I know alone forever … but, considering how close we've become, just leaving won't be as easy as saying: It's been fun, see ya around. It can't be compared to ripping off a band-aid either … X …" I gulped when I felt my throat grow dry, and closed my eyes when I couldn't take the silent unreadable look in his eyes as he surprisingly, patiently stood there listening to me try to rationally solve our problem out.

Stay or go. Stay or go. Stay or go.

_Let. It. Go._

_Damn it! Get out of my head!_

"I don't know …" I whispered suddenly as I dropped my hands from X to once again grip the edge of the desk to glare off into space, to glare at Life, to glare at Fate, to glare at God, to glare at Destiny, to _hate _everything that put me where I am today. To hate myself for forcing the hand of those I care about and for putting them all in positions that forced them to choose a side. Maybe … maybe Robin did have it all figured out … maybe the world is Black and White … maybe I was rebelling for nothing, being a stupid irresponsible suburban child who thinks she can hang with the tough crowd and not get dirty in some way shape or form.

My grip on the desk tightened before I relaxed it and threw myself into a tight embrace when X was about to repeat his ministrations of stroking my hair. He stumbled and I felt his apprehension and uneasiness with my arms wrapped around him and my face buried in the crook of his neck and shoulder. I held onto him tighter, hoping for a response, whether he'd push me away or return the gesture didn't matter to me. I just needed something real, something to solidify the fact that I was still in reality and I shouldn't lose my mind simply because I didn't know what to do.

Feeling hopeless was one thing …

Feeling pathetic was another …

I didn't want to be pathetic, being pathetic meant receiving pity, and pity was a four letter word, much like love, and neither of them were very helpful or useful to a girl like me. A few seconds floated by and just when I thought X didn't want to have anything to do with me for rejecting him he finally grabbed my arms and pushed me away from him. I looked at him as he stared at me with a look of exasperation, and true to his character he told me straight to my face, "You're an idiot, I've thought about everything you've just said. You're not the only one who's considered the possibility that this won't end well for either of us. I know what will happen down the line; I've thought it through, thoroughly, over and over and over again, but what _you_ don't seem to get Rae, is that I still don't care."

I closed my eyes as my heart sank, _No … X … don't say it … don't say it …_

He placed his hands on the desk on either side of me and leaned forward so I felt our faces were once again inches, if not millimeters apart as he whispered with a dark frustrated undertone, "Do I have to spell this out for you? Or are you being intentionally thick?"

I gritted my teeth and swallowed a growl of defiance that was bubbling to the surface, with bared fangs I replied without opening my eyes, "If I am being intentionally thick about your precious _feelings _what are you going to do about it?"

"Oh, you don't wanna play that game with me Rae …" a warning growl escaped my throat when I felt his knee forcefully separate my knees from each other so he could then easily slip himself in between my legs. With his hands on my waist I snarled and opened my eyes to glare at him when he yanked me forward to the edge of the desk so I was scandalously pressed up against him. Yet, despite my snarl of disapproval he dared to smirk cockily in my face when he declared, "You won't win."

With my hands on his shoulders I held on to him tightly and tried not to think about our bodies _not_ being close enough and I tried to once again be the voice of reason, "Don't do this to us X … we are going to crash so hard when we finally break it off."

I pursed my lips together when he pulled me impossibly closer to his body and grinded me against the growing bulge in his pants. I tried so hard not to make a sound, not to move my hips in tune with his, but when he pressed his lips to the flesh of my shoulder and purposefully blew hot hair into my ear as he whispered, "Let's go out with a bang," I groaned.

Will-power!

It's all in the mind!

Mind over matter!

If I don't mind, it won't matter!

So if I don't mind his body against mine, the heat building between us, and my demon blood itching for a release I haven't had in over a year, it won't matter. Just think about the discussion we had, go over all the things I said to him, all the things he's said to me … remember, this physical connection will do more harm than good. He'll take it the wrong way, he'll think I love him, I don't love him, I love the idea of him … the idea of him inside me that is – no! Nonononono, no, no, no, _no! _Don't go there, just don't go there. Not now … not –!

I screamed louder than I thought I did when he yanked me forward and suddenly dropped me flat on the desk. Instinctually I wrapped my legs around him, afraid I would flip over the other side when my head had no support and I found myself staring at an upside-down chair with my chest heaving trying to catch a breath that had long since run away from me. Yet, still, I managed to arch my back and moan when I felt his hands all over me, groping me, probing me, memorizing every curve, every soft tissue of my body through the protective fabric of my frustratingly skintight leotard.

I lifted my head up and swore, "Damn it X! Just wait!"

He looked up at me through his brows and though his mouth and tongue were too busy teasing my nipple through the accursed fabric of my uniform I could still see the smug little grin in the twinkle of his damned golden eyes. I hissed and finally found the courage enough to shove him off me to sit up, but he still wouldn't take his hands off me. Or his mouth for that matter, the moment I sat up he latched his lips onto mine to keep me from saying anything, or from rationally weaseling my way out of his ministrations. Yet, somehow, I managed to pull away long enough to say breathlessly, "Lucas … this is his place … isn't it …?"

He laughed and as he trailed kisses from my lips, my jaw, my neck, and my shoulder, he asked in response, "Do you know me at all Rae?"

I sighed, "I know you can be a liar …"

He pulled away from me to shoot me a dry look, "_Can be? _I'm a thief Rae … I _am _a liar …"

"… So does that mean everything you say is a lie?"

He rolled his eyes and snapped, "Quit stalling and just give us an hour … or two …" this time he kissed me softly and with all the charm he could muster he asked with a conniving grin, "Come on … you really want to say no?"

_No – yes! Yes I really want to say no … or is it no, I really want to say yes? Yes to no? Or no to yes? _I groaned inwardly and shook my head; _I think I just confused myself … _that, ladies and gentlemen, doesn't happen so very often. _Damn you X._

It's his fault, it's always his fault.

I huffed, exasperated, and hissed when he wrapped his arms around me to pull me into a tight embrace that left no room for air to pass through, and with my legs still hooked around his waist I was pretty damn sure neither of us was going anywhere. So with a finger I pressed to his lips before he tried to kiss me again I said warningly, "An hour … that's it … you know I have to be back at the Tower before dawn X, I mean it."

"Mmhm," he disregarded me and removed my finger from his lips to kiss me, I let him with a frustrated sigh and a defeated roll of my eyes. What was the point of warning him or giving him a set time, I knew he would brush me off, he always does when he wants something … as a matter of fact he brushes everyone and everything off if it didn't matter to his ends. So I didn't bother to warn him of my violent tendency if I should happen to lose control of my demonic half. This will be the first time I'd have to control myself, with Malchior it didn't matter, he was a dragon and he didn't seem to mind let alone care for my claws or fangs (he actually left a few marks of his own that forced me to play his game), but he was equip with the proper necessities to sleep with a demon.

X, however, was still human.

Yet, human or not, I could tell he's done this before. Not surprised really, I don't expect a guy like him to be anything less than absolutely sure of himself and it was that self-confidence and arrogance that was so attractive, to me anyway. It could also be my demon talking, that natural primal instinct to seek out a mate strong enough to handle me will always be present. Typical of me to be attracted to and be attracting to jerks … but either which didn't matter anymore, we only had an hour and I might as well take X up on his offer, go out with a bang.

The sound of our breathing, wet-hot kisses, and the occasional moan or groan filled the air within the silent studio-apartment that was perched above some club that didn't have a party tonight. I wasn't quite sure if I liked that idea or not, the silence … it had a sort of looming pressure to it, almost as if the building was waiting for something to happen, something to go wrong that'll completely destroy what little time we had left to ourselves. I could feel it in the pit of my gut mixing with a lava stream of warm knots tightening and tightening till a painful dam was built and my breathing became labored almost panting.

All I could think about was the touchable itch I couldn't reach and couldn't scratch, yet with every brush against X I felt a little relieved for a fraction of a mille-second before that unbearable pain returned and I was reminded that we were taking too long. Our relationship can't be compared to ripping off a band-aid, true, but tonight, maybe it can be and maybe Speedy will be right. If we do this it'll lessen the appeal, the curiosity, and the fascination we have of each other to make it easier to go our separate ways … or maybe it could all just blow up in my face … if it hasn't already.

I grew tired of groping around, we only had an hour and I intend to make the most of it, so as I leaned my head back and let X lap up the sweetness of my flesh like a child who's never had chocolate or ice-cream before I snuck my hands down to his waist. There, I pushed him from me slightly to give my hands some room as I worked on undoing the button and the zipper of his jeans. My delicate, yet destructive little fingers moved with minds of their own, popping the button out of its slit and fiddling with the elusive little zipper that refused to bend to my will without a fight. Of course, I won, and once I pulled it down low enough I slipped my hand into the opening and my lithe fingers traced its target through the thin cloth that was his boxer shorts.

I kissed his neck and he hissed in delight when I cupped him through the fabric, massaged his constricted rock-hard member and smirked when I noticed he was desperately trying not to move in sink with my ministrations. _Glad I'm not the only one trying not to lose their head. _I thought smugly and quickly wiped the smirk from my face when in a desperate attempt to regain his composure he brutally pressed his lips to mine in a crushing kiss that I knew would bruise either one of us if he didn't soften up, but I didn't want that. I wanted him (or did my demon want him?) to take what he wanted from me without remorse so long as he proved his worth.

Something, I knew, in a moment wouldn't matter, for as he all but bruised my mouth I found the opening in his boxers, peeled it aside and slipped my hand in to finally grasp the thick, rough phallus that was hardly lacking for a human. My demon was pleased and as I carefully pulled him out and set him free from his confides X suddenly pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath and swear when I began to stroke him up and down. I've never, not with Malchior anyway, taken an active role in pleasing my mate. I was content with being the submissive, but I suppose that was because my demon instincts and my human mind didn't exactly know what to do in these types of situations, so I laid back (literally) and observed.

Now, I was rather amused to know why Malchior and X like to take up the dominate role, it was a power trip to watch the other react to little touches and gestures, to hear them moan and sigh in pleasure knowing that I am the one to cause such a reaction. It was – for the lack of a better phrase – a turn on. X's mouth fell open when I squeezed him a little tighter and rolled my thumb over his head, I could see his jaw clench, he gritted his teeth and jerked my hand from him with my wrist in a vise grip as he growled, "Stop that."

I was a little confused as to why he would want me to stop something he most obviously liked and was giving him pleasure, but then I felt a little moist in my hand and almost at the same time we both turned to look at it. Pre-cum, at least that's what I was told it was by Mad Mod when he perversely stuck all the Titan girls in one room and forced us to learn only about the male body deeming it _'Sex Education'_. Needless to say, we discovered a lot that we didn't really need to know, but that's beside the point. The point is my mind thought of something very, very taboo. Something that when I watched my first porno (Beast Boy had switched DVDs on accident and I ended up with one of his porno tapes) I said to myself I would never do.

I pulled my wrist from X's hand and brought my hand to my face, with my eyes intently on him, curious as to how he would respond as he watched me with his mouth agape in uncertainty and wonder. I slowly slipped my tongue out and licked the creamy white secretion from my hand instantly tasting the salty, sour texture of his seed that sent a shiver down my spine. Demonically, I got a thrill from it, it was more than enough to smell how aroused we both were, but to taste him was the equivalent of becoming one with him. Humanly, however, was a different story, my rational brain was screaming at me, scolding me, wondering how the hell could I stoop so low and still dare to call myself a lady.

I just smacked rationality to the corner of my mind to take the backseat for a change, tonight was not about rationality, and besides what was wrong with a little experimentation?

X so obviously liked it, his grin returned as he rested his hands on my waist and chuckled, "Didn't know you were into that kinda thing."

I sneered and readjusted myself so I was sitting more comfortably on the desk with my legs uncurled from his waist and my hands resting on his shoulders, I tilted my head and sarcastically asked, "Who was the genius who declared that the freaks come out at night again? That gentleman was really insightful."

He shook his head, "Shit Rae, you're killin' me here."

I leaned forward and kissed his chest, slowly trailing up his neck to the side of his face where I pulled him down and whispered into his ear, "You want this to stop?"

He whispered in return, "I want you to lay down."

That simple phrase made my heart drop into my stomach as a very good feeling of anticipation suddenly surged through me like a million volts of electricity that shot me through the roof. I bowed my head from him and licked my lips when they suddenly felt so dry without them being pressed to his. He somehow read my mind and as he pulled my body closer to the edge of desk, kissing me, I slipped off the top of my leotard and was prepared to try and slide out of the rest of it, but I stopped. A delightful sigh escaped my lips when he took my right breast into his mouth and sucked on it, rolling his tongue over the nipple over and over again, I tangled my fingers into his hair and let him have his fun glad that I didn't wear a bra tonight.

Why?

Well, I figured I was just going to sleep so why the hell should I?

It's not every night do I contemplate the possibility that I might have sex out of the blue.

I'm usually too busy, or too tired to even begin to _think _about such a luxury.

And yet, the cruel irony of it all is, when it does come to mind, I usually have no time, or no choice to ponder of if whether or not it's a bad idea.

With Malchior it just happened, almost literally, I didn't even have to think about it.

Now with X … well … damn, it was bound to happen some time … right?

I yelped quietly when he began to use his teeth and sighed when he gently pushed me down, back on the desk, over the papers that until recently had held some kind of government importance to me. Biting on my lower lip, yet careful of my fangs, I shuddered when I felt that thick member of his brushing against my inner thigh, almost teasingly, like he was doing it on purpose, but since this was X for all I know he _could _be doing it on purpose. Just like he was taking his sweet time getting acquainted with my body using his mouth, planting kisses here and there while his fingers traced the folds of my nether lips through the fabric of my leotard.

My demon blood began to stir again and I let my head fall over the edge of the desk while my claws gripped the surface and dug into the cheap wood it was made of. My breathing began to pick up once more when he tugged at my leotard and pulled the fabric as well as my panty aside to then without hesitation slid his middle finger into my core. I arched my back, tightly closed my eyes and moaned when a wave of unexpected pleasure shot through my entire body and I nearly climaxed with his touch alone as his thumb rubbed my clit.

It wasn't how he touched me that nearly got me off (though it could be part of the problem) it was the time factor, it's been a year or so since I've been touched like this at all. I just didn't expect it too feel so good … was that suppose to happen? My head shot through the stratosphere, but with a strong will (yeah right), and determination I held back, yet panted like a dog in hot weather when he added another finger, pulled out, and pushed back in. He did it so slowly it made me cry out in frustration and pleasure as my body reacted without thought and bucked against his hand wishing for him to go faster, but he didn't. Instead he used his other hand and held me down, kept me from moving while he continued to torture me, my back arched again and I felt like I couldn't breath, _"… Ah_ … X …"

He finally pulled out his fingers (Azar only knows why) and I dropped my back, back on the desk to catch my breath. I could already feel his grin as he stared down at my withering body, desperate for something more than just his fingers. Damn him, I swear, if he's doing this just to spite me I'm going to – _snap! _I blinked my eyes open and lifted my head to ask, "What was – _aaahhh!!_"

There was no warning.

He didn't give me time to prepare myself for the pain of his thick member as he pushed himself inside me and stretched my walls apart with his girth. My head fell over the edge, I felt like I really would fall off this desk if I hadn't again dug my claws into the surface to stop me from moving when again, like Gumby, my back arched while my heart exploded. Yet … I was wrong … I did this all not in pain, but in pleasure … pure pleasure.

Let me explain:

My first time, I discovered that contrary to popular pop-culture, overrated romance novels, and virgin girls trying to impress their girlfriends with a story, that the first time any girl had sex was not pretty, nor was it romantic, nor did the pain ever fade into pleasure. No, this is purely fiction … the pain never fades … it's always there, and what it's really about is enduring it. There is slight pleasure, however minute it may be, but the pain will remain … I had to submit my entire human consciousness to my demon blood in order to endure it (because as I've discovered my demon side likes a little pain).

I expected my second time to be the same … but … it wasn't.

It just felt incredibly _good _for some reason and it totally caught me off guard.

I came as soon as X pushed himself to the hilt into me and a shiver of unbelievable ecstasy rolled over my back as I slowly, but surely came down from my high and lay on the table unmoving for a moment trying to understand what the hell happened. I gulped down a wad of saliva and took a second too long to respond when X lifted up my half-limp body and kissed me as he grinded his hip against mine making me moan. I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep my head from spinning and gasped when I felt him slowly pull out of me till only his head was at my entrance and then he popped himself deeply back into me. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his, _"Drake …"_

That was all it took for him, for both of us, to be done with the foreplay, the steady pace, and the slow rhythm of the moment. I held onto him tightly, so tightly in fact I was afraid my demon strength would hurt him so I let him go and leaned back on the desk while I again wrapped my legs around his waist to keep him close to me as he continuously pumped in and out of me. This was not making love, this was raw and real, we were both working each other to reach the peak of no return. I threw my head back and screamed when he brushed against a sweet spot, he'd groan and panted when I grinded my hips against his.

At some point, the world did honestly ceased to exist, I stopped counting the clock when I could barely think about the possibility of blowing some random object up because we were lost in the wild frenzy that left nothing on the desk to mercy. It was knocked over, shredded or crumbled and didn't survive if it remained on the desk, and I didn't care if it was important or not. All I could think of was that building pressure, that insufferable itch, his body moving on top of me, his hot breath all over me, in and out, in and out. I felt like I've gone insane, here we were in a cool AC room, and yet we were sweating, and panting, a complete hot mess.

Numerous times I've called out X's name when he'd plunge himself so deep in me that he'd touch that oh-too delicious sweet-spot and I couldn't contain my volume. Azar, I don't think I could last this torment any longer, and judging by how hard and fast his thrusts have gotten I don't think he can either. We were reaching that end, and something strange was happening, my fangs had grown in length, and I began to taste an odd flavor in my mouth leaking from its tips. This same thing happened when I was with Malchior and just before we reached our peak he flipped me over and I sank my fangs into the pillow. I hardly remember why I did such a thing, but after it was over I noticed it had an odd color in the cloth, Malchior told me it was the _'demon's poison'_ a way to mark a mate for life.

I didn't pay any attention to it then, because I thought he was just being ridiculous, but later on when I looked it up I discovered he wasn't messing with me. When demons mate, they mate for life and that single mark was what sealed the deal, totally instinctual, no demon was even aware of it happening until too late when they were stuck together for eternity. It was more sacred, more constricting than marriage and as soon as I realized it was happening again I had to protect X.

With him hovering over me I quickly reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, forcing us both to sit up and forcing him to painfully pause as I frustratingly pushed him off me and out of me so I can jump off the desk. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and turned my back to him, I was too embarrassed to actually lean forward, but I was glad I didn't have to spell it out for him. Instead, he took the initiative and roughly grabbed my hips to push himself back into me, I groaned and spread my legs a little wider to accommodate his girth and he took advantage of it.

The new angle didn't take long to send me over the edge, with his muscled chest pressed against my back, his fingers gripping my hips so tight I was sure they were bruising, his scent, the noise of flesh smacking against flesh, the sweat, the heat, his body. I lost it. It hurt so good I leaned my head back on his shoulder and screamed his name to the ceiling before I threw myself on the desk and buried my face in my arms as I felt my jaw clamp down on itself so hard I think I chipped a tooth.

My walls wrapped around his member and squeezed tightly while a wave of toxic ecstasy drowned me in delicious goodness. Moments later with three hard thrusts I moaned when X growled my name as he came deep inside of me. We both stayed perfectly still for a moment, riding off our orgasms and floating on our highs before he nearly collapsed on top of me. He managed to prop himself up with his hands as he hover over me, breathing onto the back of my neck, making me shiver when I was once again aware of the cool room around us. X kissed me between my shoulder blades and continued to kiss me down my back when he noticed I was still keeping myself perfectly still.

My jaw hurt … my head was light … and I finally realized that we made a _huge _mistake.

He was still inside me, and with every little nudge I felt him move within me and I couldn't help to inwardly cringe because I don't think he used a condom. Damn it … we really weren't thinking … this same shit happened with Malchior, but unlike me that dragon was apparently aware of reason and had pulled out of me before he released. I should have known the same thing wouldn't happen here … damn it. Yet, I couldn't be mad … not now anyway … I was still a little high and when I finally worked up the strength and the courage enough to look at X over my shoulder I saw him smiling a genuine smile for once.

I couldn't be mad at that face.

With some of his bangs sticking to his face, looking disheveled and satisfied I wondered if I resembled the same appearance. We didn't say anything, I don't think anything needed to be said when everything we felt about one another had been expressed through action and it was more than enough to understand that this … was _not _going to slate our curiosity. Sex, was obviously not the issue between us or keeping us together (but damn was it good) … and although I was somewhat giddy about discovering this fact, it scared the hell out of me. What was it then? What was keeping us from falling completely apart? Why couldn't we leave and let be?

Worse yet, even after all this, we were still back at square one.

Once again, action spoke for us, we both leaned in for a soft kiss and the oddest feeling of butterflies began to flutter in my tummy. I willed them away with a hiss when he slowly pulled himself out of me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I kept my hand pressed to the back of his neck to keep him close to me as I closed my eyes and sighed heavily when he whispered in my ear, "You're something else …"

_Déjà vu? _I thought when I remembered him saying the exact same thing to me the night our troubles all began. I inwardly shook my head, no need to go over memory lane now; I began to slip my leotard back on, which forced X to grudgingly let me go and as I happened to glance over my shoulder I noticed him do something odd. With something white and rubbery in his hand he leaned over and threw something away in the trashcan next to the desk, I paused from zipping up my leotard to turn and ask him, "What was that?"

He looked at me and blinked, "What? The condom?"

"… You used one?"

"Uhh … yeah …" he shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Don't want any little Ra – _mmph!"_

I couldn't help myself; I flung myself into his arms and kissed him gratefully so happy that we didn't actually run charging into this blind and that at least one of us had the sense enough to remember that little detail. Happily he returned the gesture in full, even wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up off my feet for a few seconds before he dropped me back on the platform and smirked cockily, "Hello, what was that about?"

I simply smiled softly, almost too discreetly for him to notice, but he noticed, he noticed and because of it he gave me another soft kiss before whispering, _"Beautiful …"_

"…" embarrassed I turned from him and straightened out my face so I was once again expressionless as I sighed heavily once more and was suddenly aware of how much mess we made and how much of a mess I was, then I groaned, "I need a shower …"

"There's one over there," he said and pointed across the studio to one of the doors on the far right hand corner.

I shot him a dry look, "Considering what happened, I don't think I want to be taking a shower anywhere near you right now."

He grinned, "Come on Rae, you gave me the hour … and a little more, that's all I need, honest."

'_Honest' _was never a word he used, much less meant, he was thief and he said so himself, he's a liar. I glared at him and his miserably evil angelic face, then huffed when I felt the dirtiness off the sweaty filth that I was. He was a chance I was willing to take, I _needed _a shower, badly. So with a roll of my eyes I took his offer and made sure to keep my guard up and the door locked. Yet, despite all the precautions I took, X still managed to pick the lock and sneak in when I was just about done. I cursed Jeremiah (and Malchior maybe) for teaching the thief how to conceal his aura.

He was already bad enough with his '_ninja-skill_'; the magic part was just adding insult to injury.

So the night ended as I predicted.

I knew I wasn't getting out of here with just one hour alone with X.

Not if the thief had anything to say about it.

Eventually, I lost track of time …

And somewhere in the mists of such pleasurable torture I had passed out on his bed in exhaustion (so much for demonic stamina) and woke up later the next day … alone.

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, I'm sorry, I don't, DC owns'em**

**A/N: Okay, and there you have it, the lemon you people kept hounding me about, hope it was appropriate enough for you guys and delicious enough to keep you satisfied till the next chapter. Also, if you hadn't notice they were not on a bed or all 'l love you' before and during it happened … if you don't like how that occurred, I'm sorry, but to me for where this story is going and how the characters are portrayed I don't think that the 'I love yous' kinda scene was going to fit these two.**

**Trust me … I've tried to write this scene numerous different times … needless to say **_**I'm **_**all sexed-out when it came to writing this lemon … they exhausted **_**me **_**to keep them both in character and to keep the story rolling where I want it to go. I won't say I didn't enjoy it though, I always enjoy writing alone time with Raven whoever she may be with, but enough of that, I feel like I've explained myself quite enough for you guys.**

**Moving on!**

**For those of you asking for a bit of Speedy and Raven, calm down, the story ain't over yet, it will happen, I just figured this chapter had to happen now while the story allowed for a little down time. There's still plenty more story coming up, so don't fret, drop your comments, your questions, your love at the review box thingy and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!!**

**L8er daez!**


	23. Zaa Jovhne Ma

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Zaa Jovhne Ma**

The next morning …

_Ugh …_ the next morning I came to and immediately wished someone had taken a glock to my head and pulled the trigger to end my miserable existence. Last night was unbelievably scrumptious and shall go down as one of my most enjoyable nights for the rest of my life, that, the world can count on. However, lord knows how long I've been out and judging by how bright the sun was shining through the sunroof, I knew I must have woken up around … brunch maybe? I don't know and frankly I don't care, I pushed off the messy bed and wrapped the sheets around my bare naked body as I jumped off and immediately began to scramble around the room for something decent to wear.

It wasn't until I caught a glimpse of a dark blue piece of shredded cloth did I remember with a hot blush on my face that somewhere along the line I had ripped my clothes off in an effort to again undress myself when I again tried to leave last night, but X wouldn't let me. Soooo, I was now clothe-less … I swore under my breath and searched for my only hope of survival, his drawer, I made a quick dash to it, tripping over the sheets as I crossed the room and yanked open the second drawer from the top. T-shirts, good start, I grabbed the closest shirt that represented the color of my leotard and dropped the sheet from my body to slip it on, however it wasn't until I had it in my hands did I realize it was a button up.

I swore again as I took the time to button all the buttons in the large shirt that completely dwarfed me and made it look like I was either wearing a badly made dress, or my boyfriend's shirt. I groan when I finished, picked the sheet back up and threw it crumbled back on the bed as I sifted through his drawers to slip on one of his boxer-shorts, it was too big for me and I ended up having to work a little magic to bend the fabric to my figure. _Sorry X, looks like I'm keeping these, _I thought fleetingly as I shuffled around the room towards the spiral staircase up to the platform where my cape was still draped over the chair.

Yet, as I reached for it I paused to observe the desk under the bright sunlight and another hot blush appeared on my face when I saw the claw marks on the desk and I actually took in the full extent of the damage. Everything, everything that was on that desk was strewn all over the floor … even the desk lamp had fallen and shattered and the papers were barely recognizable with all the wrinkles and rips. Of course those were the papers that weren't spared … everything else was in shambles and on the floor. I gulped when I felt my throat become dry and tucked a clutch of loose hair behind my right ear as a tiny sigh escaped my lips.

It happened … it all really did happen last night …

So … now what?

How was I suppose to feel?

I didn't feel any different … I didn't even feel rejected when I woke up to a queen sized bed, a quiet open space, and a cool chill in my body when I realized I was alone. What was that last night? A one time fling? Or an actual benefit to such a shady relationship? My shoulders sagged when I paused to think about it, but when my eyes happened to flutter over a clock and I saw its hands read 10:50 pm I jumped back into action. Where X had gone, what we had done, what it all meant would have to wait; I had to get out of here _now!! _

I, again, made a grab for my cape, but as soon as I turned around and clipped it on I yelped in shock when I saw Lucas standing near the rail, leaning on it actually, and looking at me casually. Like the fact I was wearing X's clothes and nothing else (besides my cape that is) was nothing new to him. With his ever expressionless face an actual yawn ripped his head in twine and he brought a hand up to cover his wide open mouth and then shook his head to dispel the rather very human act of his. Only then did he seem once again inhuman as he smacked his lips together with his tongue rolling in and out every few seconds. I quickly clasped my cape around my body, I may have been wearing X's clothes, but I was pretty damn sure my scent was no secret to the soul-eater.

The motion caught his attention and he arched a curious brow as he cocked his head to the side, "Embarrassed? Never took you for the shy type …"

I sneered, "How the hell did you get in here?"

He scoffed and from his pocket he pulled out a key, "This is an operational base for X and I when neither of us have anywhere else to go …"

My face suddenly went red without warning as I said, "So this _is _your place."

"Technically … no, X is paying for it … but yes, I sleep here more often than he does … and when he does he usually always has a different …" he eyed me for a second, from head to toe which made me uncomfortable when he said the next word slowly, as if tasting it on his tongue, _"… friend …"_

I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to put two and two together to make four, I gulped again when my throat went dry and I began to chew on the inside of my right cheek as I shrugged, "And you're okay with that?"

He blinked slowly, "… Let's just say when he's not looking and she becomes a burden to him I finish her off …"

The way he said it sent a chill down my spine, cold and heartless, like a true demon … it disturbed me like no other, but I refused to show it. Still with my cape draped over my shoulder, shielding his predatory eyes from the rest of my body I moved back and prepared to leave, (and fight, I just hated those dark black eyes of his), "I'm gonna go …"

"Oh I wouldn't do that just yet," he pushed off the rail, I tensed for action in case he wanted to use force, but instead he swung himself around so that he could skip and hop down the spiral staircase like the Bunny King of Rainbowland. The only thing that made the picture unimaginable was the fact that his expression never changed, neither did his tone. He really did get the monotones thing down better than me … it was either that or he had a slight case of schizophrenia I had yet to be aware of. Cautiously, I approached the staircase and looked down at Lucas as the soul-eater casually crossed the studio to head for the kitchen while he said, "X will be back, he just ran to grab a quick breakfast for the both of you, he'll be very unhappy to find you just ran off without saying goodbye."

I arched a brow, "And he won't be unhappy to find you here alone with me?"

Once he was in the kitchen he leaned on the counter, facing me, and shrugged dryly, "He knows I've come around … and _I _know that you're off limits … so you're safe."

_So as long as X says so I'm safe? _Something about that scared me, it was almost as if Lucas was the pent up pit-bull on a leash just waiting for his owner to unhook him so he could wreak havoc on the neighborhood. The scary dog no mailman wants to go near, thus never delivers the mail to the certain house that owned the dog. To know that X had that much sway over Lucas's actions was _not _settling.

Once again, my eyes fluttered over to the clock and I cringed when I finally read 11:01 pm … I was so done for if I should ever return to the Tower alive and unscathed. Why I say that is because I still don't trust Lucas, everything about him screamed predator; he was a natural born killer, and beings like him usually have no other purpose in life than to do just that. Which is probably why he's more so unemotional than I was, it was the only way for him to complete the façade of being human. I carefully, starting with my right foot, slowly started down the spiral staircase to confront the soul-eater as he rummaged through the fridge looking for … food? Does a being like him need sustenance like the others around him?

I warily approached the kitchen with each step softer than the next wondering what the hell was so fascinating in that fridge that kept him hunched over longer than I thought was necessary. I had finally gotten to the counter when he suddenly stood straight up, I froze stalk still like a deer caught in headlights when he glared into the fridge and only spared me a sideways glance of acknowledgment before ducking down to rummage once more. I released the tension in my shoulders for a moment and tentatively placed my hands on the counter when I heard Lucas grumble something inaudible; I dared to ask, "What are you looking for?"

"A box …"

"… Box?"

"Stash box … it's suppose to be in here …"

My eyes happened to trail to the counter where the sink was and I zeroed in on an odd box shaped item that looked a bit out of place. It was an oriental box with an Asian design of flowers and the like on it … looked like a box particularly designed to hold chopsticks, but in this house I suppose everything could be turned into something else. I took a swing at it, "Is that it over there?"

He stood back up, shot me a look, followed my finger and huffed, "X must have moved it …"

I dared (X's bravery was starting to rub off on me) to ask, "What's in it?"

He took the box into his hand, slid the cover open and I tensed when he pulled out a throwing dagger, perfect blade, perfect sharp tip, with a curved handle, and a beautiful elegant tattoo of a black tribal dragon similar to his tattoo imprinted along the hilt of the blade. Deadly, small, subtle, and when he took off the hoodie he had worn the night I first met him my stomach dropped, my skin went paler than usual, and my heart stopped for a brief moment. Under the hoodie, was an assassin's harness, a black vest with numerous pockets and knifes of variant sizes and shapes in their respectable pockets.

He slipped the one particular knife that had been in the fridge into one of the empty slots and without acknowledging my jaw-dropped expression he walked by me with his hoodie in hand to drop it off on the chair. I stayed rooted in one spot and gulped when I saw in his back two gun holsters each with black Desert Eagle .50 18 round clips … _very _illegal in many states. He must have finally noticed my staring because as soon as he tossed his hoodie he turned to me and I looked into his cold eyes and realized just why him and X got a long … business. X has the bigger name, people go to him with certain jobs he can't, or won't do and he hands them off to Lucas the assassin, but what I didn't get was why all the weaponry?

He had the abilities of a full fledged demon, even had the time to perfect and hone in his skills, weren't the guns and the knives over kill? He seemed to translate my staring into that exact question and with a cold shrug he said, "They're for recreational purposes … born with the skills to hunt makes life too easy …"

"So you teach yourself how to use … _those_ … for …"

With a straight face, he completed my sentence, "The thrill … the soul is much more potent when it knows it's going to die …"

_Monster … _that was the only word that came to mind when explaining Lucas, _Monster … _but … did I have that right to call him that? Did I have the right to judge him? My Titan experience says yes, I had the right, and I also had the right to put him away for good, but then the question becomes will I? He's not a good person, there's not one single redeeming quality about him … he's slaughter his entire village, he's killed and _will _continue to kill many people, and he's unremorseful about it. He doesn't care about life (rather other people's lives), all he cares about is himself … so I shouldn't let a _monster _like him run around in the streets.

_But could it have been different? _I asked myself, could Lucas's life have turned out different if his mother hadn't been such an idiot to go fooling around with arcane magic to turn her son into what he was now? Did he have a choice in the matter? It's not like he could be like every other human with his abilities and mental state. I couldn't see a guy like Lucas, cold and fierce, working 8-to-5 in a dead end job, or living his life day-by-day in the rat-race. I couldn't see him settling down with a family, hell, I couldn't see him love anyone if he didn't love himself. Whether or not he hated what he was went beyond me, but I knew damn well that he most certainly didn't take pride in what he was.

He just … went with what he was good at.

Like X.

"Like you …"

I blinked and looked up when I heard Lucas mumble the two words and my brows furrowed in confusion when he trailed his eyes from me and then slowly turned his back on me to proceed deeper into the studio. He ignored the rumbled bed, the strewn about shredded clothing, and so did I when I called out to him, "What does that mean?"

"The piece of your soul you stupidly gave to X," he replied over his shoulder as he went to one of the many drawers in the back of the studio behind the bed and started to rummage through them. I quietly approached him as he casually explained, "whatever happened to you that night nearly brought you to the brink of death. I felt your life-force pulsate through the mirror fragment you had given X …" he paused in his searching to look at me and I shivered when he said, "You taste like nothing I've ever had before …"

I gulped and glared, "Well, have you ever taken a demon soul?"

"… No …"

"Maybe that's it …"

He licked his lips in thought (or hunger wasn't quite sure which one), but he looked away from me and considered it with a muttered, "Maybe that is it …" he then continued to rummage through the drawers and I huffed in exasperation.

"What are you looking for now?"

"You're mirror fragment … even for a soul-eater that thinks of it as easy pickings, I still think it's foolish of you to give a piece of you away. No matter how much you love X."

I sneered, "I don't love him."

"…" he didn't bother to say anything, instead he continued to search and only a minute into it did he suck in a deep breath and sigh in boredom as he shoved the drawer closed and declared, "He's wearing it again …" he then darted his eyes back to me and arched a brow when he suddenly asked, "Why are you still here?"

_Good question … _I smoothed my hair back and decided to get this over with, I unclipped my cape and with my hands propped on my hips I opened my mouth to begin a new line of discussion, but then quickly shut it when both of our demon senses picked up on jingling keys. Lucas gracefully maneuvered out of the corner I put him in and I turned around with a heavy sigh when I knew it was X before he came in with a bag of food. Yet, when he looked up and spotted Lucas first instead of me he seemed just as bewilder as I was and asked, "What are you still doing here? I thought you just came for your –"

"I did, but the next time you rearrange the fridge, please put the knife back where it belongs so you don't have to endure me much longer than you already have."

X shook his head, "That wasn't me, Blackfire was the last one in that fridge, maybe it was her."

"Maybe …" Lucas repeated and then reached out to grab his hoodie, once he slipped it back on and I sensed X's eyes trail over to me in concern, Lucas sighed and headed for the door, dryly saying, "Have a good breakfast."

I couldn't let him leave, from the spot I was I called out to him and jogged around the bed to stand before either of the two very different men, but made sure to focus my attention on Lucas when the soul-eater in turn gave me his full attention. I put my foot down and finally said, "I think I remember you telling me that we need to talk …"

Lucas blinked and shot X an unexpressive look, but it relayed a message I wasn't aware of and the soul-eater shook his head, "It could wait."

He turned his back on me again and I reached out to grab his arm to stop him, but I remembered the incident at the park and refrained, instead I quickly shuffled in front of him to block his way to the door. He stared down at me with an arched brow, and X just watched us intently, I ignored him as I focused on Lucas, "You said you needed to talk to me, why can't you talk to me now?"

I caught a flash of uneasiness in his black eyes, before they hardened again and he glared at me, "Because I don't think now would be the appropriate moment … I'm encroaching on borrowed time, I already stayed too long."

Then, X reeled in the reigns, "Luc, it's alright man, you might as well get what you need to say over with while she's still here."

Lucas looked to X, "What I need to say requires time that Raven doesn't have, she still needs to get back to her Tower if we ever hope to keep anyone off her tail."

X shrugged and made his way to the kitchen where he plopped the bag of food on the counter and said, "Take your time, Robin's gonna be too obsessed with cracking Moonburst that I'm sure he's canceled all other activities for the day …" he paused and looked to me with a nod, "Right?"

"…" he had a point … I chewed on my lower lip and nodded my head in response, "Right …"

He smirked, "Good, now come over here."

Without protest I obeyed and Lucas followed behind me, his footsteps so light I couldn't hear it, not even his clothing shuffled and it actually sent a chill down my spine, so I walked a little faster to escape his predatory-like aura. I had just reached the counter when I felt X snake his left hand around my waist to hold me tightly in his arms a feeling of slight discomfort and embarrassment came over me. I was still very much aware of Lucas's presences as I was being engulfed in X's essences and I was never a PDA kind of girl to begin with. I considered wiggling out of his possessive grip on me to preserve what dignity I still had yet to spare, but when I felt a light kiss on my right cheek I decided to give myself a moment to relax.

It was just X … and it was just Lucas … sure he was as much of an Azarian as I was, but that doesn't mean I have to impress him with anything. He doesn't care about my relationship with X. Hell, he might even be the only one I know who really doesn't give a shit … but still … for my own sake when I began to feel X nuzzle his nose into the back of my head to take in the scent of my hair I decided to cut my moment short least we get a little too comfortable. I leaned forward and slowly pried myself from him with my bare feet I carefully tiptoed around his hard shoes till I was finally at an arms distance from him. He gave me an irritated look, one that insisted I remain melted in his arms, but knew that I wasn't that kind of girl and decided to play along, for now anyway.

I was sure if Lucas wasn't here I would have stayed melted in his arms for the rest of the afternoon, but seeing as I had other things to worry about I tired to forget X was even in the room and lifted my head up to confront Lucas. The soul-eater in question had once again taken off his hoodie so he could pull the specific knife he had tucked into place back out and into its box. He slid the cover closed and put it back into the fridge, an action that baffled me … why would he hide the knife when it seemed as if everyone who's associated with him knows what he does for a living. His dark black eyes shifted to me and probably read the question in my gaze, because he explained, "There's a particular poison coated on the blade that has a latency period of a few hours … it kills my victim slowly …"

"… Didn't need to know," I sneered to hid my disgust and discomfort, he shrugged.

X shifted so he was standing beside me and as he pulled out two dishes of warm food that smelled so good I was beginning to salivate (didn't know I was this hungry) he crumbled up the plastic bag it was in and tossed it in Lucas's general direction. The soul-eater, either didn't notice it (yeah right), didn't expect it (whatever), or didn't care as it hit him square on the side of his head and still his expression never changed. He just blinked when X said, "Quit incriminating yourself, Raven may be nice to you now, but as soon as you turn your back _wham_ there goes the cuffs and the only disposal I have when I get the jobs I don't want goes bye-bye and I'm screwed."

Lucas sneered, "Yes, that would be most tragic for you wouldn't it, thank you for caring."

X disregarded him and handed me a fork, but I shook my head and dispelled my hunger to focus on the matter at hand. I leaned on the counter facing Lucas trying to decide how best to approach this topic of discussion, but without having to initiate it he sighed heavily and cut straight to the point, "I have just received word recently that I have a younger sibling in dire need of assistance."

X paused his fork in mid-air when he was about to take a stab at the helpless Spanish omelet that smelled oh-too deliciously good to pass up, and he looked up at Lucas with his mouth agape in disbelief. He and I both shared a similar look and at once we chimed, _"There's another one of you?"_

Lucas arched a dry brow and slowly said, "No, not exactly, he's not a soul-stealer … he's a half-demon."

I blinked, "But … isn't your only living family member your father?"

"Yes."

I tilted my head and frowned, "So your sibling's mother is a demon?"

"Yes."

"…"

X noticed the baffled look on my face and asked, "Is there some kind of problem with that?"

I spared him a glance of acknowledgement, but didn't bother to answer the question; I had to get the specifics before I bothered to explain why this fact caught me off guard. Lucas seemed to share a similar mentality and went on to address me and only me completely cutting X out of the conversation. I could understand why though, having to explain one thing was hard enough, but having to give an explanation for an explanation was another. It could get confusing down the line, and so I followed his example as I leaned on the counter and listened to his mini story.

X, catching on to the blockade and feeling dejected went on to stab his omelet mercilessly, he cut it open and sent out a smoking incent of the mouthwatering meal. Wow, I was really hungry, but once again I willed my hunger away to focus as Lucas shifted his stance and tried to look nonchalantly indifferent, but he was failing miserably. He still looked like a wolf in a badly made sheep-costume, his dark black eyes centered their focus on me and I held his gaze as he said, "The job I am hiring you for is completely legit, the money is clean, and if you're interested provides an airtight alibi for you and X if you're looking for more alone time with each other."

My face went pink as I caught the rising blush before it turned my face beet red. I tried to ignore the snickers coming from the thief beside me, but instead childishly backhanded his side which caused him to nearly choke on his food as he doubled over in laughter. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest while Lucas continued to stare at me with little interest in what had occurred. I expected the soul-eater to continue on with his explanation, but he seemed to be waiting for something, and that something was X when he finally stopped laughing and swallowed his food. He once again snaked his arm around my waist to pull me to him, but I leaned away from him, my face growing a darker shade of red knowing that Lucas was watching as X kissed me playfully on the side of my head.

I blinked, trying to dispel the embarrassment from my face as he finally let me go and I struggled to look Lucas back in the eye after such a display of open affection. True, X has done this before, even in front of Malchior and I didn't mind it much, but that was only because I knew the attention wasn't on me. The group was still focused on something else and didn't have time to knit-pick about our relationship. Lucas, however stoic he may appear, seemed to understand that out relationship was doomed for failure … probably why he was adamant about returning my mirror-shard to me.

With a huff, I shot X a look of warning, but he didn't seem to notice since he went back to eating his omelet with a smug grin on his face that made me scowl. I think it's now safe to say that I hate a giddy X … I shook my head slowly and glared at Lucas when the soul-eater blinked and remained completely passive throughout the scene, I sneered, "Lucas, offering me a job when we have yet to wrap up the Strongheart case is not exactly the smartest move on the board right now."

He nodded, "I'm very much aware of that, but before you turn me down could you at least hear me out?"

"…" I nodded once and he sucked in a deep breath as he gathered up his thoughts.

He began, "My brother, he is only eight years of age and has already exhibited signs of great power that if left uncheck can prove fatal."

I nodded slowly, "My powers grew in when I was about five –"

X interjected, "Wait, so you mean every half-bred demon child comes with a power?"

I shook my head, "No, it's a rare occurrence, but when it does happen it usually means the child is destined for something … diabolical …" I frowned and looked up at X with narrowed eyes when I noticed something odd, "You knew I was a half-demon?"

He shrugged, "I happened to read up on Robin's personal report when I happened upon his case files and happened to accidently delete any information he may have on my whereabouts prior to our happenstance meeting …"

I scowled, "Shit happens, huh?"

"Shit does happen sometimes, yeah."

I shook my head, the idiot … he knew I was a demon and knew I could tear him to shreds, but he still insisted on pursuing me. Either he really was a thrill-junkie, or he really, _really _liked me in which case I may have just slammed the final nail in his coffin last night when I allowed what had occurred _to _occur. I tried not to think about the consequences right now, and returned my attention to Lucas who was patiently waiting for my full awareness.

I nodded for him to continue and he took his cue, "My … _contact_ in Azarath who has alerted me to this phenomenon insists that my brother live among the monks of Azarath …" he paused to swallow down the bile that rose in his throat and I shivered when I felt his aura flare in disgust despite his stoic expression. His cold black eyes narrowed a fraction of an inch as he said, "… As much as I despise them … I feel that I have a duty to ensure the safe upbringing of my younger sibling … he doesn't need to grow up an outcast as I was …"

While I tried to not focus on the emotional side of his story, X went on to ask what I had been pondering during the mention of Lucas's younger brother, "How long have you known you've had a brother?"

"Not long, the day I found out was the day my contact had told me of my brother's delicate situation, which will now be a week to this date."

X tilted his head, "Why do you have a contact in a place you obviously want nothing more to do with?"

"… She was the only woman who ever cared about my existence … I may be a monster, but I am still human …"

Azar did I hate the emotion of guilt.

It was eating at my chest as I remembered not too long ago I had accused the soul-eater of being such a thing, a monster. To hear him now admit to being one with no remorse, or self-pity, I felt like I owed him an apology, but instead my stupid mouth shot off without thinking, "You're not a monster Lucas," his black eyes zeroed in on me and I neither flinched or shied away from his cold glare, I rolled with it, "you didn't have a choice, I didn't either, we were born with our fates sealed, there was nothing we could do about it."

Lucas's eyes narrowed, "And you take comfort in knowing that you have no control over your life? You'd rather blame the divine for being who you are now? Does that belief help you sleep at night? Knowing that nothing is your fault, and it's how the fates deemed your creation?"

I frowned, "That's not what I meant –"

"I know what you mean … I've pondered it myself, and though it's comforting to think that who we are is not our fault, we still have to take some kind of blame for the horrors we've endured and induced." Lucas huffed and shook his head, "But I digress … Raven, my point is I'm asking you, as an older brother, to help escort my sibling to the Azar Temple and advocate for his right to live as healthy as a life one half-breed may live under the monks' supervision. Can you do this if not for me, than for him?"

"Escort him from where? If you're asking me to kidnap him from his mother, you might as well shove my head in the guillotine and drop the blade yourself, demonic fathers are bad enough; demonic mothers are a different story."

"My father has done the hard part for you, but he can't go to the monks himself … if they find out he bore a second child of ill-fortune they will most likely question his judgment and banish him to Earth. My father doesn't belong here … where I can reach him …"

I sucked in a deep breath and smoothed back my violet hair as I sighed softly, "So … you're asking me to go back to Azarath and play politics for your brother … have you asked Malchior to do this? He's well versed in politics."

Lucas shook his head, "Malchior knows how to spin elaborate sentences of flights of fancy, but he doesn't know the monks like you do. You've lived with them, endured them, you know their fears, and their weaknesses … you're an empath, Raven, so can you be a little empathetic to my cause?"

There was a hint of mockery in his tone, and for that I glared at him, "I'd love to, but I can't exactly drop what I'm doing to go off on a wild adventure alone."

X cut in, "He didn't say you'll be alone, you'll be with me."

I scowled and shook my head, "He was implying that this task will take less than a day or two leaving me enough time to be with you once I return, but he underestimated his calculations."

X frowned, "Whoa, this sounds dangerous, I don't care if you _are _going back to your home dimension Rae, I don't think you can do this alone."

Lucas assured him, "She won't be alone, my contact will be there to assist her."

"And who is this contact," I insisted, "I don't like the idea of working with a woman I barely know, much less one _you _trust, no offence."

Lucas blinked … and then did the one thing I didn't want him to do.

He smirked and chuckled darkly; even X leaned back and put his fork down to stare at the soul-eater warily. I gulped and held perfectly still when he began to slowly walk around the counter … the counter that was the only thing keeping X and I safe from the wolf as he turned the corner and there was suddenly nothing to shield us from him. His smirk darkened to a creepy grin and I braced for anything as he reached into his assassin's vest, his hand disappearing within one of his many pockets full of weapons that could kill a human without leaving a mark. I expected him to pull out some kind of knife, something designed to take down a half-breed like me, but instead he pulled out a white envelop and handed it to me.

The creepy grin still on his face as he waited for me to take the envelop with my name on it … I frowned when it hit me, _The envelope has my name on it? _I gulped and tentatively took it from his grasp, before I opened it though I looked up at the soul-eater who stood waiting for me to tear open the seal. What could it be? Poison? Some kind of toxin that'll slowly turn my innards to mush while Lucas fed upon my dying soul? A threat maybe? By Azar, it could be many things, but just standing here staring at it like a frightened fool was not going to solve my problem … so I ripped the unopened envelop open.

Dull yellow, the color of a folded rough parchment letter was inside and I carefully pulled it out into the open air where I thusly unfolded it and the first thing I noticed was the beautiful calligraphic handwriting that didn't belong to this world. The second thing I noticed was my name at the beginning of the letter, furthermore confirming that this note was meant for me. The third thing I noticed, but took time for it to sink in, was the fact that the letter was from my mother.

Her handwriting, her scent … my mother … the woman I haven't heard from in months since the fall of my father.

I turned away from Lucas and ignored X when he asked what was the matter as I walked from the two and threw myself into beautiful scripture in my hands … damn … I couldn't believe it … what the hell was my mother doing shielding a fugitive from the monks? The letter read:

_My Raven,_

_Forever without speaking would have been a much simpler and easier sentence to endure without being reminded of the time we lost as mother and daughter, and of how I failed to give you the affection you undoubtedly deserved. Sadly, though, this letter, should it ever reach you, does not come with simple greetings and pleasantries. For if you should receive it the young man that has presented it to you has exhausted all other ideas that does not involve you in anyway and has but to turn to you in his hour of need._

_An unfortunate soul, with an unfortunate past, I do not condone what he has done, nor do I pity him, but neither do I believe he is a total wretch. If I were to turn him away what hypocrite would I have become when my only child would bring about the destruction of humanity? There would be no justice in turning him away, but there would also be no point in sheltering him when what good will he bring other than to sooth what pitiful guilt I hold in my heart for not loving you as much as I should have._

_Even more so disheartening is the cruel reality that I can do no more for him than I have done for you, my power in the Azar Temple has lost its sway and I can no longer speak on behalf of anyone much less fight for a child's wellbeing. Thus, I write to you in favor of Lucas Zarni in an effort to persuade you in returning to Azarath to convince those on the council to give his younger brother, Marcus Zarni the chance to grow to understand his power. A chance that Lucas had been so denied, and a chance you have been given to succeed in your abundant and full life as a protector and defender of the peace._

_Please, Raven, I implore you to look beyond what he is and to see what he is trying to do. Death follows him wherever he may go, and though he holds no remorse for his actions he is still as human as you or me. There is only so much time Marcus has left before all is lost, make your decision post haste for I fear his father has exhausted all ways to keep his child safe._

_Zaa jovhne ma,_

_Arella_

'_Zaa jovhne ma' _I thought in my head as I folded the letter back up and jammed it back into the envelop with a shaky breath as my shoulders sagged and my teeth hurt from all the clenching I have done throughout the entire letter. It didn't take me long to process what it all meant, and it all didn't take me long to change my mind and to help Lucas for the sake of his younger brother … but that last part. How she signed off the letter, it just … _irked _me, _Zaa jovhne ma … yeah … say it in a letter, but never to my face. _I wanted to crumble it up and throw it in the trash, no, burn it to ashes, stomp on it like a child, _then _throw it away in the dump where I can never read it again.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my mother with all my heart, I'd die to keep her safe … but … there are just some things, as a child, and even as an adult you'd want your parents to say. My mother … my mother was very much like me (or rather I was very much like her) afraid to admit one's feelings, keep a straight face in public, don't make a fuss, don't draw attention, always be proper. I grew up never knowing what it was like to play childhood games and never knowing what it felt like to play in dirt, and constantly knit-picked about my appearance, my emotions, my studies, my _everything._

I never caught a damn break!

I never even asked if I _could _take a break, I was always taught to do as I was told, to do what I had to do, to do this, to do that, to be this, to be that.

My back was always ridged, my face was always unreadable, I wasn't … a _kid, _I was a _child _that was _seen _and never _heard. _

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily, _Get over it … _I scolded myself and straightened up my face so neither X nor Lucas could see how much my mother's letter hurt me. I ignored the concerned look on X's face and nodded at Lucas, "Fine, I'll go … but I'm only doing it for your brother."

Lucas shook his head, "Never expected anything more."

"Good," I nodded as I folded the envelop with the letter inside it and held it in my fist as a way of preventing myself from expressing any kind of distress that might set X off into a protective tirade. I really didn't need him to complicate the matter any more than it had already been complicated, I huffed and smoothed my fingers through my hair as I said, "I better head back to my team now and let them know of my departure."

"Actually," Lucas approached me, out of instinct I almost took a step back – _almost _– but I held my ground as the soul-stealer suggested, "that might not be such a good idea."

I glared at him, "Why not?"

"It is an urgent matter and seeing as you're already here why go through a third channel?"

_Oh hell no, _I scowled, "So you expect me to just leave my team in the middle of an important investigation unannounced and uninformed? Did I get that right?"

Lucas sucked in a deep breath and appeared to me to be ill-prepared for my line of questioning; he didn't know what to say or rather he wasn't quite sure how to argue with me without having to threaten me with bodily harm. So X cut in for him and though he obviously didn't like what was being planned he seemed to know what he was doing, "It'll make things a whole lot easier Rae, you don't really have to explain where you have been last night or this morning, just write your team up a letter or call them when you get to Azarath and let them know your situation, they can figure everything out from there."

_He's right … it would be easier to write a letter than to speak to them face to face … it's either that or worry about if whether or not my story checks out with Robin … _It's the smarter move that's for sure, chewing on my lower lip I grudgingly nodded since I didn't see any other way out of it, "Okay … fine … but I have to go back to Jump if I'm going to be shipping off to Azarath," I shot a dry at Lucas, "Unless you've covered my way back home too."

"Not me in particular, but Jeremiah on occasion follows X here to Steel City, he usually get's his material at a shop on the corner of Ridgeway and Freed, the mage there could probably help you."

That irritated me some how, like he had already planned on my saying yes and now had an answer for everything, I crossed my arms over my chest and sneered, but didn't bother to call him on it. Instead I shrugged as I walked away from him and X back to the counter where the smell of food had been tickling my nose since X had opened the plastic bag. I was hungry, and I also saw it as a way to keep me from arguing with Lucas as I stole X's fork and begin to finish what he left alone. Sharply, I dug into the omelet and darted the small piece into my mouth, by the time I started to chew X had appeared beside me and casually leaned on the counter while he watched me eat. I looked at him through the corner of my eye, but continued to chew and stab the omelet despite him while I listened to Lucas shuffle about the studio for his hoodie and finally for the exit.

However, I think he was being loud on purpose.

A guy like him who trained himself how to sneak about the room undetected by beings like me making silence apart of his being, he'll have to consciously decide to scuff his boots before he unknowingly went shuffling around like a clumsy human-being. I inwardly sighed heavily when the door closed shut and bowed my head while I swallowed down my chewed up omelet. I had to figure out how the hell I'm going to talk a mage out of giving up his or hers magical instruments that's going to help me get to Azarath to save some kid I don't know.

Mages, I've come to know, are rather clingy to their belongings.

Almost as bad as scholars who jump and panic when anyone so much as touches their precious collections.

I was so deep in thought I almost forgot I was still in X's clothes, in X's place, eating X's food, and ignoring X while I pondered my escape plan. It wasn't until he shifted in his stance did I finally bother to again take notice of his existence when he huffed and tilted his head, I put another slice of his omelet in my mouth when he asked, "Why won't you let me visit your home with you?"

I arched a brow and scoffed, I quickly swallowed down my omelet and answered, "It's not that I don't want you to, but Azarath has strict rules against outsiders. They're in place to keep people like you safe from people like me …"

He smirked mockingly, "People like you?"

"X …" I put the fork down and turned to face him so he could better understand what I meant, "Lucas and I were never meant to leave Azarath on our own accord. Lucas escaped, and my mother thought it was best if I leave and make my own way. Of course she was reprimanded for her actions, but once I proved I was stable enough to live outside that prison they left me alone."

"They?" X scooted closer to me and placed a hand on my waist, I let him trace his fingers up and down my side, it tickled a bit, but I didn't let it show.

I was too fixated on his golden eyes to look away as I softly replied, "The Monks of Azarath, or the council that oversee incoming and outgoing residences of Azarath … they are also thirteen of the most powerful sorceresses, mages, demons, and the like … their word is pretty much law."

"They sound like any other politician to me, so why are you scared –"

"I'm not scared of them," I interjected with a slight scowl that graced my lips, X paused his motions to then snake his hand around to my lower back so he could pull me closer to him. I placed my hands on his chest so I wouldn't have to lean up against him while my voice dropped another octave as corrected him, "they're the one's scared of me … I don't know what you read in Robin's file, X, but …"

I paused to think how to best word my prophecy without freaking X out too bad, or have him think that I was joking somehow and laugh in my face; I should have known I didn't have to worry about either. Actually, as it turns out, I shouldn't have doubted how far he dug into Robin's personal record of me, because as he wrapped his arms around me he grinned, "The world's still here Rae … they were all wrong …"

I rolled my eyes and glared off to the side, "Dumb luck," I muttered then sighed heavily as I sagged my shoulders and shook my head, "why would you insist on coming with me when there's really nothing to fear if Lucas has everything under control?"

He shrugged, "Honestly? It's not because I'm worried about you, I know you can take care of yourself, but my gut tells me to go, and it's never failed me before … besides …" I frowned, I'm beginning to hate that word _'besides' _especially when X says it with that sexy smirk of his, "I wanna see your mother."

I cringed, "No offense, X, but you don't look like the kinda guy to take home to mama."

He chuckled, "You're probably right …"

"Probably?"

"Okay, you are, but whether you want me there or not I'm still going … I never ignore my gut."

I pulled my head away from him and glared skeptically at him, "So you'll ignore _me, _but not a _feeling _that could just be paranoia talking?"

"I know, it's messed up right?" His grin was growing, I knew at any moment he would burst out laughing and I pouted as I pushed away from him and grabbed his food to take it from him.

"For that, I shall devour the rest of this omelet."

He chuckled, "Aw, come on Rae, Spanish omelet's my favorite! I got you some waffles, you can have that!"

Ooo, waffles, tempting, but payback is sweeter, I took another bite of his omelet and cooed in delight, "No, I think I'll stick with this."

I was probably asking for trouble for stealing a thief's food, but what the hell, I was _going _to Hell anyway, might as well make the trip worth while.

--

**Disclaimer: Teen Titans belong to DC, Lucas belongs to me, as well as Marcus and that's it …**

**A/N: Lol, I guess Raven's found another type of food to call her favorite other than waffles XD. Btw, just to get this out of the way so no one gets confused, Lucas is **_**NOT **_**interested in Raven and vise-versa my friends … it may seem like he's interested, but that's more on a … food basis … he's never had demon before -.-U. Also, I'm sorry if the note Arella wrote seemed a little half-assed, because it is ... reason? I find that when I _try _to write like a person of high esteem I make it sound like the person is trying too hard if ya know what I mean and I didn't want it too seem too crappy.**

**Although ... in this case, I don't think it matters, I suck at writting letters, which is why I always try to keep it as close as I can to a note instead of a letter -.- ... **

**Now me going to go work on the next chapter and leave you ppl to take in the tale so far, any questions, comments, etc, etc, you know the drill …**

**Luv ya!!**

**L8er daez!!**


	24. Pheromones

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Pheromones**

Lucas, apparently, didn't really go anywhere when he left X and I alone.

He had perched himself on the roof patiently waiting for us to finish our breakfast, of course I was unaware of this. It wasn't until X tackled me – full tackle, the bastard winded me – on the bed and I had to struggle with him as he tried to _'punish' _me for stealing his food did I catch a glimpse of Lucas's back propped against the glass sunroof. I all but beat X off me with a stick – too bad I didn't have one – but even as I told him of Lucas's post he still didn't seem to care. So I took matters into my own hands and pinned him to assert my authority, he gave into my will and soon enough we were on our way to this mage Lucas said might be able to help us get to Azarath.

Granted I didn't have any real clothes to wear, just a set that Blackfire left behind in her hurry to ditch after hearing of Robin's arrival. The only problem I had with it was the fact that the halter-top was hot-pink; the black pant-legs were too long, but I easily remedied that with a needle and thread, the hot-pink I just had to live with. The next problem I had was my lack of footwear, when I had come to drop off X last night I wasn't wearing any shoes because I didn't think I'd be staying long, go figure.

So to solve this problem I ripped open a temporal portal into my room, peered through the small hole and reached in to grab my shoes, not my boots, and once I had them we were out of the studio and traveling the streets on X's bike (not the xinothium powered bike thank Azar). We met up with Lucas at the end of the Callie Strip where he virtually popped out of no where on his motorcycle and pulled up beside us. He directed us to follow his lead, but X wasn't too keen on the idea of staying behind, so disregarding the soul-eater (and my life for that matter) he gunned the throttle and took off.

I held on for dear life and ducked my head down behind his shoulder to keep the strangely moist and damp air from the gathering rainclouds above us from tearing the skin off my face. Lucas stayed close to our tail and at some point even made a turn off where he thusly disappeared for the duration of our travel. With X traveling at top speed and blowing away all the traffic lights like a blundering idiot I almost expected to hear sirens and see flashing lights some time soon due to his recklessness. However, by the time my worry settled in X slowed down considerably and stopped parallel to a sidewalk on my right; he kicked down the kickstand and waited for me to dismount.

I did and as I glanced up and down the sidewalk at all the civilians walking to and from their destination I suddenly realized I made a grave mistake. I hadn't concealed my identity, my skin was still as gray as ash, my hair an obvious violet purple with my chakra point highlighted by the red gem on my forehead. Call it paranoia, but I suddenly felt like all eyes were on me, like they all knew I was up to no good, and every person with a cell phone that happened to glance at me were contacting the Titans to let them know of my whereabouts. I trained my eyes to the ground, wrapped my arms around my body and quickly rushed away from the open street to dart into a tight alleyway where only one body at a time could pass through.

I had clumsily bumped into a random civilian in my hurry to escape the wide open area; I had also ignored X when he called out to me in concern. Instead I focused all my attention on my appearance and as I leaned against a brick building I closed my eyes and with a quick spell I masked what made the appearance of _Raven _into a look of an average girl. So by the time I finished and stepped back out of the alleyway to confront X I felt more comfortable in public, but he had to step back and take a second look at me.

My pitch black hair, my lightly tanned skin, and suddenly blazing blue eyes took him aback and with the shocked expression on his face I knew I did a good job. He blinked and arched a curious brow, "What did you do to yourself?"

I sighed, "I had no choice, I've basically disappeared from my team, they could be looking for me by now."

He nodded slowly, but he still couldn't take his eyes off me, whether or not he liked my new look didn't matter much to me; even the Titans had similar reactions every time they picked me to go undercover because of my unique ability. I suppose something about being able to change one's appearance at will without make up or any extra extremities seemed fascinating, when really where I come from, it's a survival trait. A demon or any other inhuman-like creature would be able to sense an approaching aura before the scent of either prey or predator hit their nose.

X shook his head to snap out of his stupor and then shrugged my new look off as if it were an every day thing. I was glad he didn't make a big deal out of it as he turned and lead me towards the corner sidewalk where I could already see Lucas patiently waiting in front of a large glass window his hands in the pockets of his jacket with his ever expressionless face. He looked in our immediate direction, disregarded my new appearance (ignored me actually) and dryly addressed X about taking the wrong turn on some street. Basically, a conversation that didn't matter squat to me so much as the shock of us walking through large dual glass doors that apparently were the entrance into a mega bookstore.

I would like to say this wasn't just any bookstore, but the fact of the matter is that it _is _just any plain old average commercial bookstore. Selling everything from _How to's _to _Do It Yourself _and insufferably popular authors who've sold their soul for fame and money writing books on overrated genres and destroying the intellectual literacy of youth all across the globe. I hate commercial bookstores. Libraries had more dignity than such places.

I turned to Lucas to ask him if he got the location right, but before I could get a word out he turned his back on us and jogged towards the cashier's counter on the far left side of the building where posters of upcoming books were plastered. Lucas approached a young pretty lady who had just taken the payment of some poor sap who bought a book that I knew right off the bat was probably not worth the paper it was printed on, but I shouldn't judge. At least the kid bothered to actually _read _a damn book than sit glued to a TV watching vomit inducing reality shows that made me sick to my stomach.

The young lady, with her bangs swept over the right side of her oval shaped face partially covering her eye looked up at Lucas with a cute smile and adorable doe-brown eyes that seemed to be accentuated with the thick black squared glasses. Whether they were prescription or a fashion statement went beyond me, but one thing was for sure, she had _NO _idea who she was talking to because she was shamelessly flirting with Lucas. She had leaned on her counter and discreetly showed a bit of her cleavage in a manner that didn't exactly seem sleazy, but rather innocent when she held out her hand and pointed in some general direction.

Embarrassingly enough, Lucas didn't care as he turned away from her to follow her pointing finger, then nodded and turned to us with a quick gesture to follow him as he left the woman without so much as a glance over the shoulder or a thank you. Ouch. Not that I care or anything, but … Lucas must be gay or something to completely ignore a pretty young thing like the cashier who was practically throwing herself in his direction. It had to be that … or, like me, he just didn't want to hurt anyone on accident because he couldn't control himself.

I would like to think that of him as he weaved us in and out of aisles, patrons, and other works till we reached the far end of the bookstore to a back office with the classic: _'Employees Only' _sign posted on the door. Lucas just went through the door as if he couldn't read the sign and lead us through the back that was stuffed to the tip-top with shelves of books that made it tight to squeeze through and maneuver around. When I felt dust tickle my nose and I sneezed in agitation I sighed heavily and finally asked, "Where is this mage Lucas?"

"Upstairs," he responded as he took a sharp right, nimbly jumping over a knocked over pile of books that blocked the tight space. X had to climb part of the shelves and knock over a few more piles as he flipped in order to continue on his way, but he wasn't complaining, if anything he looked like he was enjoying himself.

Why, again, went beyond me.

I, however, cheated and got sick of the clutter so I took to the air and hovered over Lucas and X as I asked, "If she's upstairs than why are we going through the back way?"

"So we don't have to sneak around the other works who will notice if we go through the upstairs employee entrance."

Made sense, so I stopped asking questions and flew higher and faster to find the stairs before either of the men and I spotted it not too far off, I flew up the spiral staircase and gently landed at the top near the door that'll no doubt lead us to the upstairs backroom. I stood leaning on the rail watching as Lucas and X traversed the treacherous (yeah right) terrain, with Lucas in the lead and X following close behind. Patiently waiting for them I turned around so I could study the door we were about to go through, however, when I heard the _thonk _of metal clashing with metal as the lock was undone and a worker pushed their way through, I froze.

I didn't know whether to throw myself over the rail and hide, or knock the civilian out, the door was opening too fast; I only had seconds to react. I was just about to strike when the employee, a young woman about my age with one _serious _Mohawk spiked to about a foot in height and highlighted with multi-colors ranging from orange, to red, to yellow (and I do _not _mean blonde). She had a small heart-shaped face that seemed dwarfed by her dramatic hair, yet with her high cheek bones seemed to pull off the look perfectly. Even her playful, youthful blue eyes seemed dramatic, I didn't know whether to strike or to ask what the hell was going through her mind to obtain such a look, so I stood there looking like an idiot while she grinned.

With the nose piercing in her right nostril, an eyebrow piercing in her left brow, and the tongue piercing which clicked every time she moved it against her teeth as she spoke, "Hey! I'm Nora! You must be Raven!" Her voice was high, but not soft like Starfire or Kayla, just … _annoying. _She held out her hand for me to take, but instead I examined the whites of her fingernails chewed to the skin, numerous rings in a few fingers, and a very interesting tattoo which nearly covered the whole of the back of her right hand. It had a pattern I've seen before in some ritual I know I should remember what it was, but I couldn't at the moment, so I took her hand and shook it and in the process I was jolted with a spike of her powerful aura.

This, _Nora, _was the mage Lucas was talking about, and she wasn't afraid to flaunt her power. I eyed her warily and quickly pulled my hand from hers to glare at her, "How'd you know who I was?"

She shrugged, "I just do." She turned away from me and beamed when Lucas and X finally began to climb the stairs, "Zarry! My bestest buddy in the whole multiverse, where da hell you've been man?!"

I completely ignored the familiarity she had with Lucas with an agitated scowl, _'I just do' _I thought in irritation, no one _just knows _something, I was not liking this Nora girl one bit. I watched her carefully as she grabbed Lucas's hand and pulled him through the door, X pulled himself up the last bit of stairs and huffed, then looked at me and gestured to the door as he asked, "Wasup with that?"

"I don't know," I responded drily as I caught the door before it swung closed, pushed it back open and stepped in with X behind me. We entered a cluttered office space with a few desks that were shared by other employees that must have been working the floor for now because we were the only one's occupying the space. Nora skipped over to one of the desks, her Mohawk bouncing and jiggling with every step as she pushed off the papers from the desk to sit on it with her clever little grin on her face that I didn't trust.

Behind me, X held the door and let it close slowly before he stepped up to me and leaned over my shoulder to whisper in my ear, "What's wrong with you? Why you so edgy?"

I blinked slowly and quietly responded so Nora couldn't hear (she was a mage, not a superhuman with super hearing so I was safe), "I don't trust her."

"My brother does …" X countered.

I rolled my eyes, "No offence X, but your brother doesn't know what he's getting himself into … magic is a deceptive art …"

He chuckled and all but pressed his lips to my ear as he whispered, "No offence Rae, but you don't know my family all too well just yet."

_Just yet … _something about those two words combined with the rest of his comment made me stiffen. It wasn't how he said it or the hot breath on my flesh that called to my attention, but the intentions behind those two words that upset me. I've already seen X's family, already gauged how they interact with each other and outsiders and have noticed they were a very protective bunch when it comes to one another. Probably due to how they grew up and where their lives were headed, maybe all they could depend on were each other, could explain why Annabel and Nadine were very unhappy finding out I had history with Malchior.

They were probably afraid of me hurting part of their family, and so they should be … I knew I was going to hurt X deeply if I allowed him to think there was still an _'us' _and a _'we' _going on, when it just wasn't possible. So for him to even suggest, let alone _joke _about the idea of me becoming part of his family was so dangerous it made me feel so horrible for leading him on. I might as well be accused of first degree murder if his heart should just so happen to give out due to blunt force trauma of me having stepped on it because I had to be so rational, and objective.

No wonder Starfire and Robin were so happy … Starfire _always _follows her heart … and Robin … well … he wasn't as rational or objective as me otherwise he wouldn't be seeing Starfire and I wouldn't be second in command of the Teen Titans.

I earned that title being the coldest of hearts on the team … so where did it go?

Where did the ice that helped to shield me from feeling guilty for hurting people like X go?

I turned my head only so slightly to look at him and it brought our faces just inches from each other and I gulped when I could faintly smell the sweetness of the syrup he had poured all over the waffle I forced him to eat on his breath. He smirked at me and winked as he stood back up and backed off me, I closed my eyes and sighed to refocus my mind as I zeroed in on Nora who had submerged herself in an engaging conversation with Lucas. Although, I think she was doing all the talking, Lucas just looked bored out of his mind … either that or pissed off, I couldn't exactly tell the difference with his placid unresponsive aura.

So I cut in with a light cough and the clearing of my throat which immediately caught Nora's attention and the young mage turned to glare at me with her stunning blue eyes that quickly livened up as she grinned, "Finished bad mouthing me are we?"

I scowled, _There was no way she could have heard us, _but like technicalities mattered, it didn't take a psychologist to know that I didn't like this girl, "Only if you're finished talking to yourself."

Nora laughed abrasively, "Aren't you the funny one _half-breed, _lets not forget who's coming to whom for help."

"I don't need your help, you're just a theory I've decided to test out."

She crossed her legs and the chains which connected all along her knee length strap-boots with the platforms at _least _five inches thick jingled and irritated me more than her high-whiny voice, "Oh really? That's not what Zarry tells me."

"_Zarry _hasn't said one word since we've arrived."

Her grin darkened, "He doesn't have to …" she trailed and began to tap the side of her head with her finger, it took a second, but I finally understood and I immediately threw up mental barriers to defend myself against the conniving little twit that was half my height without those heels of hers. She hadn't infiltrated my mind, that much I was fully aware of, with my mental training she'd never be able to get passed the first layer of my thoughts without my knowledge. Yet, still, she laughed, "Don't fret your pretty little head demon, your mind isn't as interesting as Zarry's here … now _his _mind … woo … talk about dark humor, you wanna see some gross stuff, this is the guy to contact."

Lucas barely responded to Nora's comment and I frowned in disgust and glared at Lucas, "Aren't you the least bit offended with her intrusion?"

Lucas blinked and shrugged, "I'm a project to her, and I really don't care."

Nora scoffed, "He's too modest, what he means to say is since he's a sorcerer and due to his lifetime worth of knowledge about the human soul, we're both conducting an experiment to prove that the consciousness exists outside the soul rather than _is _the soul."

I shook my head when that logic totally blew me away, "What?" I looked at Lucas in shock, "You _eat _souls, how can you say they don't exist?!"

Nora controlled the discussion, "Hello, weren't you listening? We're not trying to disprove the existence of a soul, but rather its un-involvement with the conscious mind, like, you don't _need _a soul to live."

"The soul provides the necessities for a human _life, _without it the body can't emotionally coexist with the rest of the world which is why the body dies due to the fact the brain doesn't believe it exists. Therefore the conscious mind can't go on without the soul." I argued.

She rebuked, "Please, that's monistic! You're basically saying the mind is within the brain and so is the emotional form of human life, you might as well call us all robots with one functionality! _'If you believe it, than it's real.'_ Don't even _go _there with _me!"_

I growled, I don't like losing debates, "I'm saying one _can't _live without the other, _you're _saying its one _verses _the other, it's not nature verses nurture and science so proves that you need both to live."

"And science is bullshit, it's brainwashing all of humanity and I say down with science! How can any one of your stature even believe in that crap when you _know _there is more out there than just chemicals, molecules, and atoms."

I opened my mouth to further argue my point, but X cut in, "Okay, let's all shut up and get back to the point before my head starts spinning again."

Nora crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, I just bit down on tongue and forced myself not to take the debate onto the next level, the level which involved some form of pain that'll make her want to lose all consciousness. I controlled my violent tendency, however, and sucked in a deep breath to once again civilly ask this girl to give up items needed to get me to Azarath, but just as I formed a sentence in my head she opened her mouth and said, "I'm not giving you anything."

I snarled, "Why not?"

She looked at her badly chewed fingernails and with a nasty smirk flat out told me with a tone of a child, "Because I don't like you."

I turned to Lucas who seemed to be sitting back and taking this like it was none of his business, "Could you tell her that your brother's own life is at stake here!"

She cut in, "Oh, I know, and I'm still not giving you the supplies you need … I don't like you."

I've _had _it with her, "You selfish sonuva –!" I made a jump to tear her smug little head off, but X grabbed me around my waist and pushed me back.

"Whoa! Whoa! Easy Rae! Stop!"

I didn't hear him; all I could hear was her screechy laughter scrapping against chalkboard with those fucked-up nails of hers! I was seeing red. I had to kill her! I had to rip her limb from bloody limb and watch with glee as the wild wolves devoured her innards! I had to get X off me so I could kill her! My nails had lengthened, my teeth turned to razor sharp canines, and I could feel my demon blood pulsing wildly in my veins, I was going crazy! My entire body felt like it was on fire; I had to destroy something, _anything!_ I turned my scarlet eyes down at the obstruction before me, still trying to hold me back, daring to touch me in a way that so violated my personal space.

Faster than he could think, I grabbed X's shoulders, held them tight, and with a quick burst of strength I ripped him off me, spun us around and slammed him up against the wall. A bulletin board beside us shuddered, papers flew up, but then gentle floated back down on their desks anti-climactically while I held X at arms length with my claws cocked back ready for shredding. I couldn't see the confusion in his eyes, I couldn't remember who he was, all I could think about was his interference, and the interference had to die! I hissed and somewhere in the back of my mind I could hear Nora giggling, "And _that, _my friend, is the nature of the beast."

Lucas sighed heavily in boredom, "I think you've had your fun."

I blocked out the rest of the discussion when the interference began to squirm and grabbed my wrist in an effort to twist it so to free himself. Not a chance, I pulled him back from against the wall and with more force slammed him against it so the bulletin-board rattled more violently. He groaned in pain and uttered through the tight grip I had around his chest, crushing my knuckles against his windpipe to steadily slow his breathing, "Raven … stop …"

I snarled and my grip tightened while I hissed in a deep breath through my tongue, I could taste the sharp cold air, the mold growing in the false walls, the bitterness of the papers around us, and something else that made my stomach churn. _His _scent … his familiar scent … one that I've imprinted in the back of my mind to always, and to never forget … _Drake … _that's his name … oh Azar, what was going on?! Slowly, I let him go and stepped away from him when that violent part of me wouldn't go away and was forcing me to finish what I had started.

_Drake, _was not a significant being in my life, he was not my mate, and neither was he apart of my bloodline. He was still the _Interference, _but I couldn't hurt him! For some reason he was a familiar and I couldn't find it in myself to hurt him! My head began to spin, whoa, why was I suddenly so confused? I just about tipped over on my side when I felt strong arms wrap around my body and my nose was suddenly pressed to this _Drake's _chest, I inhaled his scent and I felt the confusion slowly dying down. My head was clearing up, but as the horrible realization that I had nearly killed someone so close to me bore down on my skull I grabbed fists full of his shirt and held my face in it to lose myself in his scent.

For some reason, it was the only thing keeping me from totally losing control of my demon blood, but why? Why had happened? I couldn't understand it? Even more so confusing was why he was holding me after I nearly tried to kill him? Most people I knew would run screaming from the reality of what I am when it finally came to light. I took in a deep breath and as I began to calm down I heard Nora laugh, "Wow … amazing … she's resilient. You must be someone really important to her if all it took was your scent to clear her right up … nice. Boyfriend? Mate? Best Friend perhaps?"

I could feel that insufferable grin on her face, and I stiffened when I felt X's angry aura swirl up in a violent rage, it didn't help that I could feel his voice rumbling through his chest as he shouted over my head, "What the fuck did you do to her?!"

"A scentless, but affective pheromone that agitates demons and I released it through the vents in order to observe her reactions. A full-breed, you see, would just feel uncomfortable, but I've _heard _that if a half-breed gets a whiff of it and the right buttons are pushed they lose their minds and forget who and where they are. All they can think of is bloodshed, the basic primal animalistic instinct that separates a demon from a human besides their all-perfect super-senses." The way she explained it, I understood it all, but she sounded so cold … like all I was to her was some kind of experiment.

It also seemed to piss X off even more, "So what the fuck were your looking to accomplish if you knew she was going to kill me?!"

I flinched; I didn't want to be reminded of what I nearly had done to him, and to think he cared enough to keep me close, I don't get it … why does he care so much? Nora, on the other hand, didn't care, she snorted cruelly, "She wouldn't have tried to hurt you if you'd have just let her come to me … believe it or not I did have this all planned out."

"You knew she was going to pull this shit?!" I didn't have to look up to know he was shouting at Lucas.

The soul-eater, in his ever monotone voice said, "No … but I didn't put passed her."

"You guys are both fucked up!" Still outraged X grabbed me and harshly yanked me out of the room holding my wrist, but he didn't go through the door we entered from, instead he pulled me through the room to another door that opened up to the second floor of the bookstore.

Nora called out to his, "Don't leave just yet! I still have to give you what you came here for!"

The door slammed shut as we burst out and immediately my head cleared up when I took in a deep breath of the still cold and artificially ventilated building. I may have been glad to be out in the open, but the workers who manned the café up here weren't so happy to see two nonemployees pushing them around the back of their counter to get out. We ignored them, well, X did, I was still trying to take in deep breaths to clear my body of whatever freaky pheromone Nora dosed me with in that tight room. So I let X lead me – despite my wrist already hurting from all his harsh pulling and tugging – through the bookstore out into the sidewalk where I finally took a breath of fresh-air.

He continued to pull me down the street towards his bike, shoving pass pedestrians and still holding me with a vise-grip that suggested he'll never let me go. Sweet of him, but my head was back on straight and I knew we had to go back; I sighed heavily and slowed down to jerk him to a stop. I didn't have to apply much force; he stopped immediately and turned around with a frantic look in his eyes. The stiffness in his shoulders, and the set scowl on his lips told me he was still very unhappy about what Nora – and probably Lucas – had done to me. I gulped and softly said, "We have to go back."

"What?" He more said it in shock than confirmation and I licked my lips as I struggled with myself not to crumble to his desperate tone of voice when he moved in closer to me to make sure he heard me correctly.

I sucked in a deep breath and steeled myself from my own fears of going back.

No, I wasn't scared of Nora, or Lucas … I was just scared of hurting X again if that pheromone should kick in, I chewed on my lower lip, and then repeated with more influence, "We have to go back."

He stared at me as if I grew second head, then looked around as if concerned someone might have been holding me at gunpoint and forcing me to say certain things that I didn't want to. With his hands on my shoulders he looked me dead in my eyes and said, "After what she did you still want her help?"

I took another deep breath and slowly exhaled as I said, "If we go to Jump City we'll be losing time we don't have …"

He frowned, "You sure?"

Damn it all to Hell why did he have to care so much?!

I nodded, "I'm sure …"

No … no I wasn't … that pheromone, whatever it was, scared the shit out of me when I nearly took X's head off and for what? For a reason I myself didn't know … Nora didn't help, neither did Lucas, and if I wasn't strong enough to stop myself who the hell was going to save X from _me?! _The very idea of going back to that bookstore bothered me like no other, I really, _really _didn't want to hurt X. I'd kill myself before I ever hurt anyone I cared about, just the thought of pain being inflicted by me on people I knew made me sick … and somehow X saw this in me. How? I didn't bother to ponder anymore … X … was an unsolvable variable to me, how he knew certain things about me will forever remain a mystery.

He hooked my chin with his finger so to tilt my head up to his.

I tried to move away when he leaned down to kiss me, I was still very much aware we were out in the sidewalk where everyone can see us and I wasn't into the whole PDA thing, but he wouldn't let me go. He managed to press his lips to mine softly as a gesture of comfort; I could feel him channeling his emotions into it, letting me know that there was nothing to be afraid of. He pulled away for a minute to let the message sink in before he kissed me again to help me take my mind off of my fears, but I still didn't bother to respond. It was his third kiss that coaxed me to relax and kiss him back just to reassure him that I got his messages.

His hands went to my hips and I wrapped my arms around his neck, to any on-looker it must have looked like we were very much in love, especially to Speedy when I heard him call out to me in shock, "Raven?"

At first I thought I was paranoid … that I was probably hearing things due to that damn pheromone, so I held onto X tighter and pressed my lips to his in a more desperate attempt to silence the voice. He didn't seem to mind, and probably didn't even hear the voice I thought was only in my head, but then it grew louder, and had a tone of confirmation and disbelief, _"Raven!"_

I pulled away from the kiss to stupidly look to my left and I literally forgot how to breath.

Damn it! Damnit! _Dammit!!_

Why did I look?!

My appearance resembled nothing like my original-self, looking just incriminated me and since I knew Speedy's eye sight as far from shotty, he would be able to see through my disguise without effort. The whole world ground to a complete stop when my eyes met with Speedy's masked eyes and jarred mouth as he stared at X and I like a bug-eyed fish. For a full minute neither of us did anything, said anything, we didn't even _want _to say anything. I could feel X trying to calculate how to best maneuver out of this situation, I could sense Speedy quickly sizing up X trying to determine what the hell was it I saw in him to remain by his side, and me? I was just at a loss for words … I didn't know what to do, should I deny it? Try to run? Be honest? Meet him halfway and admit that X was a boyfriend of sorts?

What the hell was I going to do?!

There was no possible way I could deny it, not when I just remembered I had idiotically forgot to mask the brand on my lower back, the tattoo of the bird flying south. Speedy as well as any other Titan looking would have been able to spot me immediately for not many girls decided to get such a tattoo of such an animal flying in the particular direction it was flying in. I couldn't run, where in the _HELL_ would I run to? I couldn't be honest, not if I wanted to keep X out of jail, and seriously, _I _wasn't too hot about the idea of going to jail myself!

I could say X was my boyfriend … that seemed to be the logical course of action, cater to Speedy's ego by admitting he was right on some imaginary level. However, if X didn't know I was playing a game he might just take it seriously and I could have already buried myself in my own grave! _Think Raven! Think! _X did the thinking for me, when I saw the light-bulb go off in his eyes and within the minute no one did or said anything, he shifted in his stance and moved so he ever-so discreetly shielded me from Speedy's eyes.

Bad move, _very _bad move, the body language suggested we had something to hide, and that I probably _belonged _to him because he looked as if he were protecting me, when it should have been the other way around. I had to fix the problem before Speedy took it the wrong way when X started out by saying, "It's not what you think … I dragged her out here, away from you guys, I just thought –"

"So you're the boyfriend," Speedy sharply cut in with a tone of voice that sliced through whatever lie X was coming up with in half. I even winced at its imaginary fine tip.

X scrambled to keep up, "Uh, well, ye –"

I shut him up before he said something very stupid, "He's not my boyfriend," although as soon as it escaped my mouth and I moved from behind X to stand before Speedy with my arms wrapped around my body to hide as much of my exposed flesh from him. I knew I threw myself under the bus. Both guys were looking at me with narrowed eyes, X was confused, he seemed to be wondering why I was making the lying harder than it had to be. True, it was easier to admit we were in some kind of intimate relationship (because we were in a way), but I couldn't bring myself to say I was anything more than a … an … a … an _acquaintance _to X. Speedy, however, was not buying it, so I had to sell it, "at least it's not what it looks like … it's … it's very complicated."

"Complicated?" Speedy repeated in disbelief, a mocking tone of disbelief as he scoffed, "It better not be so complicated where you can't explain why I had to come all the way out here to look for you. Robin's lost his damn mind, he thinks this is the second time you've been abducted by Moonburst's brother and has already contacted Starfire to arrange a take-off to Tameran."

I huffed in exasperation, damn it Robin, why did _he _have to care so much to be considered _too _much, "Tameran isn't the picture here, I've received an urgent message from Azarath, my home, saying that I have to go back to help with a matter dealing with a child and I just thought if I could get it out of the way the sooner I could get back without doing much damage."

Speedy sneered, "And you couldn't pick up a damn phone to tell us … _why?"_

X came to my defense, something I didn't want him to, but he did anyway, "Come on man, give her a break, she's just doing what she thinks is right."

Speedy glared at him, "And you think her being with _you _is right? Has the thought ever occurred to you that you might just be part of her problem?"

I growled, "Stop it Speedy."

X wouldn't let that go, "What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"It means because of you she's been acting erratic and forgoing her duties as a _hero _who has bigger issues to deal with than a relationship with some civilian who probably doesn't even know what the he's getting himself into."

Speedy was instigating, he wanted to start a fight, for what reason could just be a guy thing I wasn't aware of, but I quickly wedged myself in between the two before a fight broke out. I could see it in X's posture and Speedy's expression they were both _itching _to tear each other apart, with my back pressed to X's chest I pushed to get him to back off as I held out my hand to Speedy to stop him from further advancing, "Ehhh –" I caught myself before I said _X, _and said the first name that came to mind, "Drake, let it go."

Speedy sneered, "So the boyfriend has a name."

I snarled, "Leave it alone already! It's not what you think."

"Yeah, I know, it's _complicated_."

X growled, "What the fucks your problem? So she wasn't at training-camp today, so what, it's not like it's a national emergency, she's entitled to have a life."

"No she's not," Speedy argued and I was just about to take X's side when he continued on to say, "we're not _normal _like you, alright, we have an obligation, a _job _that requires us to work on a twenty-four frickin' hour basis to cover your ass. You think I really _care _what she does on her spare time? No! I don't! What I care about is wasting my goddamn time searching for her ass when all she had to do was pick up the goddamned phone to tell me where she was and life can move on! Instead, I have to drag my ass all the way out here only to find her making-out with _you. _Now how's that to start the afternoon off!"

I huffed in exasperation, "I was not making out with him."

I was ignored when X spoke up, "She doesn't have to inform you of everything that goes on in her life."

"Clearly, you don't know how things work with us."

"Frankly, I don't give a shit!"

Speedy scoffed, "You think she really cares about you? You think this _thing _you two have going on is going to last? Shit and I thought _she _was the delusional one."

Speedy punched the wrong button, X, already pent-up with the Nora-fiasco now found a head to split when the archer just had to push him. I felt X duck for my right and I moved to stop him, but he faked me out, spun around my left to land a solid punch in Speedy's jaw. At least, it would have connected if Speedy hadn't blocked it and nearly jammed a hooked fist into X's gut if the thief hadn't been nimble enough to push off, but they were far from over.

The scene was gathering a crowd, and I had just about had it with their childish antics, _"STOP!!" _I screamed to gain their attention, but my powers sparked and exploded a nearby fire-hydrant that did the blessing of distracting the civilians from us and even broke up what could have been a nasty fight. Without bothering to wait till they got their heads on straight I grabbed both of their shirts and yanked them into the tight one-person-at-a-time alleyway. I threw Speedy in first, and made X bring up the rear as I forced them to trek deep into the alley till we finally arrived at an open backstreet where various buildings intersected.

It was slimy, grimy, smelled like garbage, and so not a pretty place to be in, but it did its job shielding us from the public eye as I separated the two and eyed either one of them angrily. With my jaw clenching and my hands rolled into tight balls of fists, I hissed, "What, the _hell _were you two _morons _going to prove throwing punches in the middle of all those people like that?!"

X snorted, "The asshole deserves to get his ass whooped."

I snapped at him first since he was the first to shoot his mouth off, "Shut up! I don't want to hear it!"

He shot me a look that suggested he might just argue with me, but I disregarded him and turned to address Speedy, "I'm not going back to the Tower unless my missions is complete, tell Robin that, and leave me the hell alone, because as much as I agree with you, Drake is right, you in particular do not need to know everything that goes on in my life. So stop fishing!"

"Wait," Speedy frowned, "so _he's _going with you to your home planet?"

I huffed, "Dimension, and yes, I need his help."

"…" even though his head seemed station and his gaze seemed fixed on me I knew it wasn't. It was shifting back and forth from X to me and back again, a thought had occurred to him, and my stomach dropped when his abrasive aura suddenly mellowed out and a minute wither of realization struck him, but the feeling was so faint I nearly didn't catch it. I did, and as his shoulders relaxed and his face smoothed out so he now stared at me coolly, I had a feeling I wouldn't like what he had come to terms with in his head. So I didn't bother to ask, only groan in frustration when the next words that left Speedy's lips made me want to tear my hair out, "I'll tell Robin … but the hell I'm going to leave you alone with _him _without back-up."

X scoffed and muttered, "And so the plot thickens … great …"

"Speedy … don't do this to me, I can take care of myself."

He appeared to roll his eyes, "It's not you I'm worried about Raven." _It's him … _I finished his sentence for him in my mind as I shook my head in protest, but Speedy made his argument, and it was damn good one, "Look, I tell Robin what's happened to you do you really think he'll let one of his men go off on their own little adventure, particularly you with your track record on off-world explorations? Just be glad that it's me and not someone else."

I scowled, _"Glad_ is hardly the appropriate response to this unlucky turn of events."

X came up to my side and hissed in my ear, "You're really going to let this guy tag along?"

I growled in frustration, "What choice do we have? He's right."

"Let's just ditch his ass right here, we don't need him Raven."

"I am not playing that game."

"He knows my _name."_

"He'll be figuring out a lot more if you don't stop being such a jerk."

He shot me a dark look that I returned it with an irritated sneer as I shook my head and disregarded everything he said with a tired huff as I brought a hand up to rub the bridge of my nose in order to keep an approaching headache at bay. Speedy, having observed, but never heard our interaction shrugged in expectation, "So? What's the verdict?"

I glared at him and like ripping off a band-aid I said quickly, "Call Robin."

Speedy seemed reluctantly pleased, X was still pissed off, and I couldn't believe how terrible my luck seemed to be nowadays.

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, I do own Lucas and Nora though, =P**

**A/N: Wow … talk about bad timing … sucks to be them that's for sure … and if I made it look like Speedy was being an ass … well, that's because that was the point, it wasn't because he was jealous he was just being Speedy. I always figured him to be the kinda guy to grumble if someone bothered him on what he calls 'his time.' As for Nora, all will be explained in the next chapter where that little she-devil is concerned, in the meantime.**

**L8er daez!!**


	25. Not a Couple

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Not a Couple**

I felt my chest heave and the dank, grimy, moldy, and garbagey smell of the backstreet was swept up along with the smoggy air of Steel City. With my demon senses still in effect I could almost taste the staleness of the air around me and it took great effort for me not to fall over in a daze due to the amount of waste and filth I could smell. So as quickly as my nose picked up the scents my body worked to push it all out with a heavy whoosh of air that escaped my lips.

Speedy was still on his communicator juggling both Robin and Bumble Bee as they drilled him about my whereabouts and wellbeing. I propped my back against the corner of a brick building and tucked my right thumb into my (Blackfire's) pants pocket while I watched Speedy with narrowed eyes. Why were they grilling him and not me directly since he told them I was with him? I pondered to myself for bit until movement on the left corner of my eye caught my attention. I glanced over and saw X standing with his feet shoulder-length apart, his arms tightly crossed over his chest and his amber eyes intensely boring gaping holes in the back of Speedy's head.

All around, he looked tense, anxious, maybe even unsettled … but I knew him better than any onlooker so I knew for a fact that he was pissed-off, but he was pissed-off at the wrong person. He should be glaring at me, not Speedy … Speedy may be a jerk in his own right with the things he said earlier, but that's to be expected from an instigator and I know X knew he was being goaded. I, on the other hand, had betrayed his trust when I forfeit his true name to a Titan … now it was only a hop, skip, and jump for Speedy to look up Drake's personal records, find his credentials, and figure out just who my _'friend' _really was.

I'm such an _idiot._

X's gaze shifted to me and a small amount of his intensity softened, but that could have just been the trick of the light … I don't know … I didn't try to meet his gaze. Instead, I quickly tipped my head down, pushed off the brick wall to shift my weight, and then fell back on it with my eyes back on Speedy. It was easier to watch someone with their back turned to you, rather than face the person you've been staring at from across the room. However, if that person so happened to be Red X and he found out I were staring at him then forget it, he's going to _make _me face him whether I like it or not.

It's just the way he is: direct, in-your-face, and to the point when he wants answers and wants people he doesn't like to shut-up … but when he felt like playing games and messing with people's heads than it was a different story. X, really was a fox in more ways than one, and I, being the stupid little field-mouse that I was, didn't duck and hide beside Speedy when I knew he was coming for me. Propped against the same brick wall with his shoulder he looked down at me, but I didn't bother to look back, I centered my unfocused gaze on the back of Speedy's sky-blue polo shirt while X asked quietly to keep from Speedy's earshot, "What's wrong?"

My left brow twitched in agitation.

What's wrong?

_What's wrong?_

_Everything _is bloody frickin' wrong!

Why would he ask such a stupid question?

Why would he still _care _after I gave away his name?!

_Why was he such a damn idiot!? _

I tilted my head, sucked in another deep breath to stifle the angry words from leaving my throat with the rotten air that stabbed my lungs, then quickly so not to drown in the filth I huffed and curtly said, "Besides everything, nothing at all …" then, something struck me as odd, I turned to him with an incredulous glare as I asked, "Why are you so calm about this all of a sudden? Not too long ago you were raving mad …"

He scoffed and shot Speedy a dark look before answering with a dark forced smirk, "Oh, believe me, I'm far from calm right now, but just because one of us is stressed out doesn't mean both of us have to be."

Wait … so … he was behaving himself to keep the order? That wasn't like him at all; I called him on it just to fill the gap as we waited for Speedy to get off the communicator, "So you're going to be cooperating with Speedy now?"

He snorted, "Cooperate is different from keeping my mouth shut … the more I run it the more I give him reason to dislike me and the more he dislikes me the more likely it is for him to run a background check on me."

I see the logic, but I don't see it working, "He already dislikes you, and he's going to run the check just because you're with me …" I swallowed my pride for him, "I'm sorry I gave him your name … I wasn't thinking …"

X tore his gaze from Speedy to look down at me with an arched brow, then scoffed and shook his head, "Figures you'd be more worried about me and less about yourself."

I sneered at the dryness of his comment which sounded as if he'd expected my reaction all along, "Well if I'm not going to worry about you, and you're not going to worry about you than who's going to?"

He chuckled and hooked a finger under my chin so to turn my head away from my unfocused gaze on Speedy's back. He centered my blue eyes on his spellbinding golden orbs that danced playfully before me while that smirk of his promised me a quick kiss before Speedy turned around. His hand went from my chin to the back of my head tangling fingers in my hair as he held me in place while he said, "Do you know how damn cute it is to know you care about me?"

Cute?

Did he just call me cute?

I'm Raven frickin' Roth of the bloody Titans, I'm not _cute!_

Yet, while my lips formed an irritated scowl, the rest of my damn face betrayed me with an adorable blush that probably proved his point and furthermore cemented his ideal image of me being _cute. _I _hated _the thought of being _cute _to anyone, being cute was like saying I liked puppies, kittens, the color pink, and Barbie dolls, those were cute. Me? No. I was the furthest from cute X will ever get … so his cute-radar must be broken because he got the wrong girl. I reached up and tore his hand from my person, but as I let him go, he snatched that same hand back and held it in his own.

I figured he was just doing it to irritate me, or to irritate Speedy (who still wasn't looking) either which I huffed and looked up at him to get him to let go of my hand, but when I met his eyes again they were no longer dancing. They were focused on something, and he was quick to let me know what that something was … I just wished I saw it coming before he said, "You know … it could have been a whole lot easier if you'd just admit we were a couple and let it run from there."

I frowned and pulled my hand from him to stuffed it in my (Blackfire's) pants pocket, "We're not a couple …" I almost said his alias again, and I shot a quick look at Speedy to be sure he wasn't listening, he wasn't, but I wasn't taking that chance.

X, however, wouldn't let the subject drop and asked, "Do you want us to be?"

He was baiting me; he wanted to see how I'd respond to the implanted idea of us being _'official' _as it's called. I didn't fall for it, "No, actually, I don't … it's not about what we want anymore X … it's about what we can get away with …"

"Raven," Speedy called to me and I went to him without bothering to look back at X, I stood beside the archer who gave me a one over asking, "you okay?"

It must have been the somber look on my face, so I steeled my emotions and my expressions as I nodded and dismissed the inquiry, "What is it?"

He held out his communicator, "Robin wants to talk to you."

_He's been using the radio link and not video? _How curious, I took the communicator, flipped my hair from my right ear and turned away from Speedy, "Raven here …"

The radio crackled and Robin's voice came through the other end, but it wasn't what I was expecting, _"Raven, you alright?"_

There was a cold edge to his tone, but otherwise he sounded soft and sincere, like he really was worried about my disappearance at some point in time and was just glad to hear my voice again. It was sweet, but suspicious, I tried not to give away the suspicion in my voice as I responded, and prepared to get down on my knees and grovel for my misdoings, "I'm fine … look, Robin, I'm sor –"

He broke through my link, _"Don't say it if you don't mean it Raven …" _there's the sharp tone I was looking for, the one that told me he was just as pissed off as I thought he was. I straightened up and waited for my lecture, but I didn't get one. Not that I wanted one, I just expected it … what is it with the men in my life nowadays not giving me what I expect from them? It's a conspiracy! Robin, softened up his tone again, but I could still hear the curtness of it as he gnawed on my ear, _"Speedy already filled me in, and to be quite frank I trust his word more than yours at the moment –" _Ouch, he really was mad at me, that's the worse thing Robin could ever say to a person he trusted … particularly me, and I felt the tip of the dagger poke through my chest like butter, _"– so I don't want to hear anything from you."_

"… Alright then …" I stupidly replied not knowing what else to say.

Robin, on the other head, sighed, _"I just wanted to hear for myself that you were okay."_

Wow … went from cold bastard to worried friend in 2.5 seconds, that's a new record for him, I shrugged, even though he couldn't see it, "Well, I'm fine, what more do you want?"

"_To make sure you don't do anything so stupid that I can't pull you out of it."_

I scoffed, "I'll take it into consideration."

"_Don't consider it Raven, do it, that's an order."_

"I'll see to it that it's done."

"_Good … take care of yourself."_

"You know I will."

He signed off and left me feeling down and put-out … Robin may be a bastard when it came to playing his roll as my superior, but he was still a close friend that I hated to disappoint. I allowed a heavy sigh to escape my lips as my shoulders drooped just ever-so slightly just for the moment to feel the weight of the world resting heavily on me. I wish it would crush me and get it over with already, but, as the Fates saw fit to grace me with a curse of power, so they saw fit to grant me the torment of life. Slowly, I turned around to present myself to Speedy and to hand him back his communication, but it wasn't Speedy I had come face to face with.

It was Nora with her fiery blue eyes, and dark smile whipped across her lazy lips while her annoying voice pierced the stillness of the backstreet, even the rats ran to hide from the irritating sound, "Hey there!"

I lost it, but I knew it wasn't because of some enchantment or pheromone, I was just mad as hell and with my left hand cocked over my shoulder I backhanded the mage with such force that my barely lengthened claws scrapped across her cheek. I could smell her blood as she stumbled back and held her wound; her blue eyes looked at me in a wide-eyed daze like she was confused to why I would do such a thing. The look boiled my demon blood, how dare she act so surprised! She had me close to killing someone I hold near and dear to my heart and she had the audacity to look stunned!

I cocked a fist back to smash it on her face, but in a flash Lucas swept the girl up and away while X – Hell only knows where he came from – grabbed my wrist and yanked me back to hold me away from thoroughly murdering that undeserving witch! I struggled against him, even kicked up my feet to get him to let me go, but he held on tighter and with a sudden jerk turned me around so I wasn't facing the still stunned mage. His mouth was to my ear when I heard him try and coax me to calm down, "Let it go Rae, she's not worth it."

I slumped in his arms for a second to catch my breath, and then pushed my back against his chest with my feet digging into the ground trying to get us both to turn around so I could get a better chance at charging the bitch, but he wasn't budging. I growled in frustration, "Drake, get off me!"

"Not until you've calmed your ass down!"

"I'm not going to touch her!"

"And I'm not stupid!"

I stopped trying to wiggle out of his grasp and huffed in exasperation as I closed my eyes and bowed my head to try and ease out the anger in me. X's heart was beating rhythmically against my back and I used that as a base to pace my racing heart. My hands were still clenched into tight balls of fists; my claws dug crescents into my flesh and dripped blood on the ground. So I slowly relaxed my hands and unclenched the fists with a low hiss, my heart now beating in almost perfect sync with X's and with it my breathing regulated till I was once again in control of myself.

X planted a soft kiss on my cheek and whispered, "Save it for a rainy-day."

I almost laughed – _almost _– but instead cracked a sadistic smile. Oh, I'll save it for a rainy-day alright, I'll make sure her blood pours into the sewage system and leaves no trace of her existence while I merrily sip on a hot cup of tea warmed by the satisfaction of vengeance. Ooo was she sooo damn lucky she had Lucas and X protecting her – although, I think X was mostly protecting my title as a Titan – but I was damn sure if they weren't there she'd be deader than dead.

My hair was everywhere, I probably looked like a mad-woman and with my arms trapped at my sides because X was still holding me tightly I couldn't reach up to fix myself. I huffed in exasperation and tried to blow some of the lingering strands out of my face, but it did little to fix my entire persona, I grumbled, "You can let go now …"

"You'll be a good girl?"

I growled, "I won't kill her if that's what you're asking."

He chuckled and again kissed me, but on the top of my head while his arms loosened around me till it felt more like an embrace than a vise grip. With his nose nuzzled in my hair I heard him murmur, "I'll help you later."

Again, I almost laughed, Red X and Raven kill innocent bookstore clerk, I could already see the headlines.

Surely now, he let me go and once freed I considered using my demonic speed to outflank X and snatch Nora away from Lucas, but then thought better of it. Speedy was still in the premises and I was reminded of it when I turned around with X and spotted Speedy standing a ways away from Lucas and Nora looking a bit lost and confused. He shot me a look and I tilted my head in slight confusion of my own when I felt him fighting between being amused and being worried. It was in his lips, I saw them quivering from a cocky smirk, to a curious frown, he shrugged at me and out loud to anyone who'd bother to address him asked, "Is anyone gonna tell me what the hell I'm missing?"

I huffed, "Nothing particularly important," I was crude and harsh; my eyes locked on Nora, the coward hiding behind Lucas continuously peeking out from behind his arm to watch me carefully. Her bright red Mohawk becoming more and more like a target to hit rather than a fashion statement. Delightfully the three shallow claw marks I left on her cheek were still intact and dripping with blood, that made me feel a whole lot better.

Lucas, with little enthusiasm (no surprise there) spoke up from across the backstreet and said, "I warned her not to come with me, but she insisted."

Nora, then, popped out from behind Lucas and in stark contrast to her bad-ass punk appearance; she tucked her hands behind her back, hunched over and struggled to keep in total eye contact with me. It was irritating me, not too long ago she was so confident in her beliefs and quick to shoot me down and condescend to my level, now she was _scared _of me when I nearly took her head off in the bookstore? Stupid little girl … and I didn't know how right I was when suddenly her appearance flickered and the arrogant crass-punk became this petite fragile flower that looked as if the wind could blow her away!

Her wavy dirty-blond hair reached her lower-back and part of it was pulled back into a braided ponytail, her fiery blue eyes turned pale, almost dull in color, boring in comparison to her previous guise. Even her skin didn't have nearly as much color as it use to, she looked sickly pale, not gray like me, and to add to her frail appearance she wore a flowing white sundress, plain as day with no patterns or embroidering to grace it. It also did nothing for her stick-like figure, but with the white flats on her feet she looked like a ballerina.

I almost felt guilty for hitting her now … note: _almost._

The moment she opened her mouth and her high-pitched squeaky voice matched her small figure my guilt fell away and was replaced with its previous irritation when she made her defense against me. Her pale-blue eyes widened as she spoke, "I know, what I did to you was wrong, and I am sincerely sorry for it, but you must understand that half-breeds are so rare that I've never actually ever met one on Azarath. Please, take into consideration the untouched properties that could open the door to the acceptance of your kind since you are so shrouded in mystery."

She was an alchemist, not a mage; I should have known when she started to go on about studies and research.

No wonder she was so powerful.

I sneered, "I think that cut on your face is testament enough of what _my kind _think about _you people _bothering us with your theories and experiments." To emphasize my point I took a step forward, bared my fangs and snarled viciously enough for X to grab my elbow in warning and for this Nora – or whoever the hell she was – to shudder in fright. My demon took some sick, twisted fancy to her fear and I growled, "You mess with me again I'll finish what I started."

She nodded, then brought her right hand to her lips, took a step back and with her head bowed she swept her left leg tightly behind her right and curtseyed to signify that she knew her betters as she muttered, _"Zaan rajsheri."_

I rolled my eyes, but otherwise waved my hand to dismiss her when she stood back up and took another step back to leave, but she stopped and looked at X and with a quick flutter she crossed the backstreet and dared to approach the thief. Even X seemed bewildered at her sudden appearance and eyed her suspiciously when she reached into a low pocket of her dress and pulled out an envelope containing what I could only guess was a letter with Jeremiah's name. She held it to her heart as she looked up at X and asked, "You're Drake Fox … Jeremiah's brother, right?"

I saw X discreetly flinch when she said his last name aloud and I glanced at Speedy through the corner of my eye, now he knew his full name _and _that he had family … damn. X, played it cool and shrugged, "So what if I am?"

Nora sighed heavily and tentatively handed X the letter, "Cou-could you please give this to Miah if you ever should see him again?"

_Miah … _I recalled something Jeremiah had told me when we first met and I didn't know at the time his name was Jeremiah: _'Miah is what my family calls me, Jerry is what my friends call me …' _I tilted my head in intrigue, because apparently even X caught the difference. I couldn't help to wonder how close Nora was to Jeremiah exactly. X took the letter and saluted her with it, "We'll see what happens."

She nodded and with a quick, "Thank you," she danced away from the scene leaving Lucas (with a book of spells and a leather pouch no doubt the materials to help us get to Azarath), Speedy, X (with the letter to Jeremiah), and I alone in the backstreet. I ran my fingers through my hair and growled, "Well thank Azar that's over with."

Speedy slowly approached the main group eyeing Lucas warily, but glaring at me curiously as he thumbed in the direction Nora disappeared off to, "Do I even _want _to know what that was all about?"

"Help," I informed, "We needed her to give up that book that'll help us get to Azarath in order to assist Lucas," I gestured to the soul-eater who had now come closer still holding the thick spell book at his side, he nodded in greeting to Speedy who sized him up before returning his attention to me, "it's his younger brother that we have to save."

Speedy shrugged, "From who?"

Lucas answered that with two simple words, "From himself." Speedy shot him a look, but he was thusly ignored as he handed me the spell book and addressed X, "I'll keep Jeremiah and Bells from bothering you, just please make sure my brother is safe."

X nodded and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at the mention of Jeremiah and _Bells … _I wasn't aware Annabel – oh … never-mind, I glanced at X when he said, "I don't know how long this is gonna take, so could you make sure they feed my dog and if they can't the dog food's under the cabinet."

Hmm, _dog, _I'm guessing was keyword for _Strongheart, _just like Jeremiah and Annabel were keywords for Malchior and Blackfire, as for the dog food bit that could be code for Lucas to use X's suit in order to assure Red X's whereabouts in the city. How I figured that was because he also told Lucas where the supposed _'dog food' _was and I know damn well X doesn't have a dog. I wasn't even sure if he was an animal person … he must be though, Malchior took to him and I know for sure Malchior was more animal than human (because he was a dragon, do the math).

"I'll see what I can do," Lucas replied and with that turned from the group, nodded a farewell to Speedy and left us to our own devices.

Speedy, as was expected had some questions, questions that X said he'll answer as soon as we were all back at the Caribbean and settled in for a little spell-casting.

--

The room went still after X and I answered every question Speedy had for us … well … I let X do most of the talking, he seemed to have a knack for making up stories and to be perfectly honest I don't think I trust my mouth anymore. Everything I say comes out all wrong, people misinterpret me, and all around bad shit seems to happen when I try to cover up my ass. So I sat in the middle of the hard wooden floor of X's studio after the guys helped me move out the furniture to give me enough room to properly set up the portal ritual. I used a shoe box to compensate for a book stand, a wine-glass to use as a goblet to hold the grounded powder of crystals, diamonds, bone, and ash, while I set four deep blue candles by my left side.

I let my eyes fly over the archaic words of the Azarian tongue, trying to memorize the spell that'll help get the three of us – two of which knew close to nothing about magic – to Azarath safely without tearing our mental state to shreds in the process. If anything, by myself, I could conduct the ritual with four candles and a chant if I concentrated really, really hard. I've never had to pass through the gate with more than one … it was a feat that I've never heard of attempted simply because only a selected few were allowed on sacred grounds.

It was already a huge risk for me to take X along undetected, but X _and _Speedy … our entry force would sure enough attract the attention of the Temple Guards in the Palace Azar. So either which, we were _soo _screwed when we got to the other side, which was why I was somewhat glad Speedy wasn't entirely unarmed. He had his quiver and bow with him, but they were resting against the chair he sat on facing backwards as he leaned on the back of said chair and watched me with intense masked orbs. I chewed on the bottom of my lower lip and focused my attention on the book to get my mind off how awkward the room suddenly got.

I love silence, don't get me wrong, but I hated the kind of silence that had an empty awkward taste to the air.

The kind of silence that needed to be filled with words that hung at the tips of our tongues.

Through the corner of my eye I even spotted X leaning against his kitchen counter shift his stance as he tried to adjust to the heavy pressure that loomed over the studio. With a Heineken in his right hand he took a quick swig of it to distract himself from the silence, and though I wasn't a beer kind of girl I felt like I needed one right now. X had _politely _enough offered Speedy one earlier, but the archer declined and now here we sat/stood pretending not to notice the tension in the air until Speedy had enough. He huffed, "Okay, I call bullshit, two months? I don't buy that crap," I looked up and narrowed my eyes on the archer as he sneered at me, "I _saw _you two Raven, and it takes longer than two months for a girl like you to be all over a guy like him."

X shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he just heard and called out from across the room, "The hell, you calling me a liar?"

Speedy ignored him and directly drilled me, "You like him?"

I sputtered and scrambled for a quick response, "That's none of your business?"

"But you are seeing each other right? He _is _your boyfriend, don't lie."

X grumbled in the background, "I don't see what's the problem with that."

I made sure Speedy's attention was on me as I set the wine-glass of the powder mixture on the floor and said with conviction, "We are not a couple."

Speedy gestured to X with a jerk of his head, "He doesn't seem to agree with you."

X growled, _"He _is standing right here."

I sighed heavily and picked myself up off the floor, dusting off my (Blackfire's) pants I threw my hair over my shoulder and glared at Speedy, it was time to thoroughly shut him up before he went in a direction neither X nor I wanted him to go. We were already tittering on a tightrope as it was, if Speedy continued down this line of questioning who knows where we all could end up.

So I took it upon myself to put the fear of Raven back into him, "I seem to recall you saying you won't judge me like Robin would … so what does it matter to you if I'm with him or not?" I stepped forward, over the wine-glass, closer to Speedy, and the archer sat up in the chair as I stood before him and with my piercing violet eyes pinned him in place, "It seems to me, Speedy, that the question isn't whether or not _I _like _Drake … _but do _you _like _me _since you seem to take such great interest in my interests. Go figure that before you start to poke around my personal life."

I didn't bother to wait for his response, I spun on my heel and marched to X's drawer for the shirt that I've worn earlier, yet, as soon as I pulled it out of the drawer and headed for the bathroom Speedy intercepted me. I rolled my eyes in exasperation and propped a fist on my hip while he squared his shoulders and stared at me, his volume dropped an octave so only I could hear him say, "I don't need to figure what I already know."

I sneered, "Or what you think you know."

"I know …" his tone dropped even lower, his face grew ever somber, and slowly the sadistic sneer on my face melted to that of a sullen frown when I knew he wasn't playing with me anymore. Just the tense look on his face, said it all … he knew … and I gulped when my mouth suddenly went bone-dry. I dropped my hands to my side, my right hand clutched X's shirt so tightly I was sure my claws would have torn holes in it if I hadn't already toned down my demon features. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as a cold chill rushed through my body like someone had thrown me in a vat of frozen ice-water.

My heart dropped from my chest into my stomach and as I tried to cope with the reality that I was finally exposed I refused to tear my eyes from Speedy's or show any signs of fear or any other expression that'll incriminate me, but I don't think it mattered anymore. Speedy knows … what was the point in hiding or keeping up appearances when the sham that I really am shone through bright as day to the sharp-eyed archer. I always thought Robin or even Terra would be the one to corner me … never Speedy … never him.

It was almost funny, but neither of us were laughing.

I blinked, and as I slowly looked to my left over to Red X, Drake, the thief, and my … my companion I could feel my heart piece-by-piece breaking for him as the guilt of what I've done to him began to eat away at me. I always knew I would be his downfall; I licked my lips when the taste of screaming for him to run as far away as he can was at the tip of my tongue … but I'm sure the blank expression on my face would have been enough to set him off. If he was looking at us and not at the fucking newspaper! I looked back at Speedy feeling him watching me intensely, probably wondering what I would do, and what I did was sigh heavily smooth my fingers through my hair and quietly, submissively, I asked, "What are you going to do to me now?"

It was his turn to take in a deep breath and as his slowly exhaled he shrugged, "Does he make you happy?"

I blinked what the hell kind of question was that? With a frown I slowly shook my head, "Speedy … I don't … does it really matter now?"

He nodded sincerely, "Of course it does … cause if you are than who am I to judge you?"

I rolled my eyes, oh God he was being serious about that, "Speedy, judgment should be the least of your concerns, I'm … he … we … _you're _supposed to do your job."

"So are you."

"…" I don't understand … I don't know what to say … does this mean he's going to look the other way?! Does this mean he's going to just let this go? I don't … that doesn't make any sense! I shook my head, "You … are … unbelievable …" I stared up at him in confusion, "You hardly know me, how could you even suggest that –"

"It's complicated," he cut in with a sneaky smirk and my face fell in a dry look, go figure he'd use my line against me.

I sneered, "Is it so complicated that you can't explain why it is you care so much to not care at all?"

He snorted, "Probably for the same reasons why _that guy _does."

No, there was just no way I was going to let him off with just that, I wanted a straight answer, I narrowed my eyes and advanced him threateningly, "We've been Titans for a few years now, we're worked missions together, but never once had you _ever _bothered to initiate even a single conversation with me … now … out of the blue you suddenly act as if we've known each other for a lifetime. I don't get your logic."

"I've always found you interesting._" _He said with a dismissive shrug, "But would you really give me the time of day if I actually sat down and tried to be _nice?"_ He scoffed with a growing grin on his face, "Besides, I kinda like getting to know you this way better … at least now I know what kind of guys the infamous Raven Roth is into."

I growled and with X's shirt I swatted him away from my path to the bathroom, he chuckled and jumped out of my reach when I reared my hand back to hit him again. The commotion finally caught X's attention and he looked up from the paper to find my hand with his shirt in the air preparing to hit Speedy when the archer just wouldn't let the subject go. I was just about to chase after him when I, to, looked up and noticed X's bewildered expression, I immediately dropped my hand and composed myself when the thief shrugged and asked, "What I miss?"

I scowled at Speedy when he started to snicker, but otherwise shook my head and said, "Nothing important."

X blinked, and rolled his eyes skyward, "Right … so, are we going to try this ritual thingie or you guys still flirting?"

"We were not –" I stopped myself before I buried myself in a hole that I didn't need to be buried in, I don't have to defend myself against something I know isn't true, so I gestured to the shirt in my head and instead said, "Let me change first then I can drill you guys on the dos and don'ts before we conjure the spell."

X tilted his head, "You look fine now, why you gotta change?"

I scowled as I jerked open the bathroom door, "Like hell am I going to let my mother see me in _this _get up."

Speedy snorted, "And seeing you in a _guy's _shirt is going to make you look less conspicuous?"

"Nobody asked you," I sneered and slammed the bathroom door shut to quickly shimmy out of the tight hot-pink halter and into the large flannel shirt that dwarfed me in all its breathable fabricated glory. It really was a comfortable shirt that was more or less see-through when held up in direct lighting, so unless someone flashed a spotlight on me in the middle of the dark, no one would know I still wasn't wearing a bra. I left the last bottom buttons undone and with some fancy handwork I tied it off into a knot and stepped back out.

Now properly garbed I straightened out a wrinkle that irritated me as best I could and tossed Blackfire's halter on a nearby chair as I collected myself and eyed the surprisingly civilized Speedy and X who were more or less in the same position I left them in. Granted they made an effort not to even look at one another much less talk, I was grateful they didn't start an all out brawl that had the potential to destroy the only materials we had to get off Earth. I clasped my hands together and wondered where I should start first in the matters of etiquette and cultural crash-course class for Azarian.

Right off the bat they didn't speak the language and I didn't have time to teach them to remember a single phrase, much less the proper form of greeting one's superiors. So I had to at least show them the physical form of the greetings. I sucked in a deep breath and started, "Okay … um … first things first, I can manage to keep your auras hidden from those on Azarath, but if we're going to pull this guise off flawlessly you both have to learn a little something about where I come from."

Speedy nodded and swept his hand out as a gesture for me to continue, X just stared at me with a nonchalant air about him … a front, he was still uncomfortable around Speedy and so he should be. The archer knew who he was, but I tucked that information in the corner of my mind for now, I had to get the basics down pat, "Azarath … is a place of old traditions, old beliefs, and formalities. It is a place that values honor and respect above all else, it's also a place that values peace and tranquility, rarely is there ever any sudden outburst of violence, but that doesn't mean danger is non-existent." I chewed on my lower lip as old harsh memories of my past began to resurface, but I was quick to stifle my sorrow and focused on the primary objective, "So, in order for us to keep as low a profile as possible, you two are going to have to learn how to greet any passersby that happens to be too polite for their own good."

Speedy shrugged, "Sounds like fun."

X scoffed, "Shouldn't be too hard."

I proved him wrong.

While I was teaching them how to say the simple greet-and-reply in Azarian I discovered Speedy didn't know how to roll his tongue for his life, and X kept trying to equivocate the language to Spanish just to make things easier on himself since he was fluent in that language. So by the time I finally got them to say: _Fahnenrina hitan _which was the very formal: _Blessed-Good Morning_, I was almost unsure if they'd even remember the gesture that follows the greeting.

I tried to teach them anyway with an impatient sigh, "It's not enough to just _say _the greeting, you have to make sure you are sincere in your blessing by touching your lips with your right hand and holding it out for whoever your speaking to, to receive it."

X raised finger, "Question, why the right hand out of curiosity?"

"It stems from the old ways when the right hand represented your giving hand, and your left hand represented your receiving, so if someone is to greet you with this gesture simply hold out your left hand to their right and sweep it towards you to accept their blessing. Get it?"

X nodded, "Got it."

"Good …" okay, now that the greeting was out of the way, time for the serious bit, "Alright, now, just because I've taught you all this doesn't mean anyone is going to right off the bat greet you with warm open arms. Chances are, once we punch through the portal and get to the other side we'll be fired upon. The spell I've chosen, because neither of you have any magical ability whatsoever, is going to spike a tremendous amount of energy and alert the Temple Guards to our location depending on where we fallout."

I saw the questions in their eyes and I answered them before they asked, "The Temple Guards are highly-trained soldiers that defend Azarath from any outside as well as inside threat. They kill first and ask questions later simply because their task is do-or-die, they take their jobs very seriously and will have no qualms reporting me to the monks for punishment and deporting you two back to Earth."

Speedy frowned, "That's why you asked if I had my quiver and bow."

I nodded, "Yes," I looked at either of them, swallowed my pride and went on to say, "I'm going to refrain from using my powers throughout the duration of our stay, I don't want to draw too much attention to my mother with the announcement of my arrival. My demonic blood can only help so much without a weapon of my own so … you two are pretty much going to be my only other option if I fail to watch my back."

X scowled, "And you said you wanted to go this alone."

"If I went alone I wouldn't be attracting so much attention."

He snorted dismissively, but otherwise said nothing else and I looked at Speedy to see if he wanted to add his two cents worth, but he had nothing to say. I waited a few seconds longer for them to ask any more questions and when none came I decided to get to spell-casting. Lighting candles, drawing powdery circles, chanting a few choice words, it was a regular old séance without the ghosts or the supernatural and as soon as I felt my feet fall away from the ground I also felt a surge of energy erupt around me.

The world vanished, blurred away by the rushing white-blue wall that encased us as we traveled at light-speed through a warp-like tunnel that made it feel like we were going at a snails pace and forced me to push us to go even faster. Speedy and X were directly behind me, linked to my life-force by a nagging, tugging sensation at my heart that let me known if one of them fell away from me we all would fall. The spell I cast made sure we remained in a group by mentally linking my mind to theirs so we all virtually became one entity that was me.

So I dragged us all until we finally reached the end of the tunnel that was sealed off by a larger-than life ring of protection that was Azarath's only defense against outsiders. I gritted my teeth and pushed forward with my willpower alone I felt the barrier break, crack, then shatter altogether and another surge of energy exploded around me. I knew, this would be the spike that would spell our doom as the tunnel fell away to a total white out and a sudden weightlessness came over me.

Gently, gently, ever-so gently we floated in a rift where time and space did not exist before we were once more sucked into the crushing reality of existence and my knees made contact with solid ground. I hunched over with my hands pressed flatly against the ground and my chest heaved with heavy deep breaths as I tried to catch the oxygen I felt like I had lost running a full marathon non-stop five times over. My throat was dry, my head was a bit light, but those were the least of my concerns, for I was right about the Temple Guards. In the distance I heard trumpets sound, an alarm go off, and through the fuzziness of my exhaustion I knew it was time to haul-ass while we were still unseen.

To my left Speedy had already notched an arrow in preparation for a fight, to my right X had a small throwing dagger held at the blade and if merciful would do no more than hinder a guard's ability, but with cruel intent could spell Death. Especially with X's talent … they were ready … and I was still on the ground, how embarrassing.

I forced myself on my feet, wavered a bit, but with a quick shake of my head I looked out to the grand city of Azarath … Angel Island … the Floating City … Isla de Magik … beautiful in all its glory, graceful and elegant in its design, my prison, my home and my sanctuary. I didn't know how much I missed it till I finally laid eyes on its massive structure, I could have stayed here and waxed poetry about my birthplace, but I had more important matters to deal with. Like, keeping us all alive, a quick glance around showed me we were at the southern edge of the floating city, furthest away from the Palace Azar that was more or less in the center of the island.

The Temple Guards were on their way and it was time for us to go.

I spotted our escape through means of a secluded street that came to a stop just a few feet pass a small shop. The owner, with his family were curiously and apprehensively peeking out of their small windows at us and I hated to bother them, but we were going to have to go through them if we still had a chance of getting away scotch-free. I gestured for X and Speedy's attention and began to lead them out of the open, "Just follow me, and keep your head down."

**--**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans DC does, I do own Nora, Jeremiah, Annabel, Strongheart, the Temple Guards, the Palace Azar/Temple Azar (I'll be referring to either or in the story)**

**A/N: Aaaaaand they're off! Will they make it out a live? Or are they doomed to failure, personally I'm more akin to the failure bit simply because it's more fun to see them all suffer, but that's just me, lol XDD!! Drama never gets old if you're the person watching it, but when you're apart of it than it's a different story … so until next time let's all hope they don't die. I apologize it there was any very obviously annoying grammatical errors and the like, I kinda sped through the correction process, something I don't like to do, but I'm on a role with the other chapters so yeah, sorry about that!**

**L8er daez … **


	26. The Illusion

**Long Road to Ruin**

**The Illusion**

Contrary to its size Azarath's tightly compacted buildings and almost randomized placement of homes, shops, and markets made the city near impossible to navigate and I am almost ashamed to admit that I didn't know my home as well as people think I do. For most of my life I grew up with a strict schedule, I was regimented, and encaged in the Palace Azar where the monks personally oversaw my training and life in general. I was not allowed to even wander in the courtyards without at least one of the most experienced Temple Guards carefully monitoring my mother and myself.

There was no freedom.

Yet, still, in my spare time – stolen time from my meditation sessions – I'd sneak into the library and read every book I could possibly get my hands on and a few of those were about the mapping. I put every street to memory and even dreamt about having thrilling adventures as an urban orphan trying to survive with just the knowledge of the city's layout. Now I just prayed my memory wasn't too shotty or the books I've studied weren't based on faulty sources, Speedy and X's – not to mention my own life – lives were at stake. The Palace Azar was in view and we had to reach it if we had any hope of contacting my mother, but from where I stood, panting, leaning against a building it might as well have been a world away without the use of my powers.

X and Speedy were right beside me, almost as out of breath as I was due to all the running and climbing we've done to outmaneuver the Temple Guards that we couldn't shake. Every time I thought we were in the clear one of them (I counted at the very least five) would spot us and the chase was on. Several times I had to backtrack away from the Palace to lose them, but through the tangled confusion of Azarath's tightly closed streets I was beginning to wonder if most of my backtracking was done unintentionally.

Was I lost?

Beside me, X huffed, "Raven, you better have a plan cuz it feels like we're running out of corridors here."

That just might be the Temple Guard's plan … wear us out then snatch the chance to wipe us out. Cruel, but smart, I wouldn't put it pass them that was for sure … we needed a plan, but just as I was coming up with one I happened to look up and went pale-white when I saw one of the five guards leap from one rooftop to the other. They found us! I grabbed X's wrist since he was the closest to me and hissed, "We've been spotted."

I dragged him towards the exit of the alley, but stopped dead in my tracks when another Guard emerged from the end of the alley pointing a handgun at us, but it wasn't just a handgun. Here on Azarath nothing is as it seems, firearms are only granted to the Temple Guards because of the deadly implication behind the weapons. The bullet can be enchanted with whatever spell that'll get the most bang for the buck, all the wielder has to do is finish the enchantment, pull the trigger, and watch the fireworks. This Guard, apparently, had an itchy trigger finger, I heard him mutter a single phrase and no sooner had he pulled the trigger did Speedy scream, _"Down!"_

X grabbed me and pulled me to the ground just as a bright flash of ice-blue light came charging at us, Speedy had let his arrow fly and the ground shook when an explosion that turned the once quiet city into a noisy wreck. I got to my feet as fast as X and cried out when another Guard different from the one who fired the gun jumped into the alley through the smoke and came down on me with a swift round kick to my temple. I spun out and slammed against the wall as the world around me went blank for a split second as I sank to the ground with a throbbing headache.

I heard a struggle going on behind me as I tried to resist the allure of stars and darkness that threatened to envelope my being. I almost couldn't properly register that someone had roughly grabbed my upper arm and yanked me to my feet with such force I cried out in pain. It turned out to be X as he struggled to get me to run while Speedy fired off shot after shot to keep the Guards at bay. With gritted teeth I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other and once I was able to run without X's support I scrambled to navigate through the alleyway away from the Guards, but I knew it was pointless.

If they were able to get a shot off and physically hit me, than that meant they were moving in for the kill. How X and Speedy managed to clear themselves of the attack went beyond me, but I couldn't let them die here, not when they were so innocent. We ran, we ran back the way we had come and once we arrived at the crossroad I turned right, but a Guard appeared before me and I nearly tripped over myself in an effort to run the other way. Speedy ran to the other alley, but another Guard blocked it off; X headed for the next way, but a third Guard wouldn't let us pass, which forced us to head back to the alley where we were attacked.

However, it was game over when the Guard with his gun came out pointing the barrel at Speedy's head and his partner, the apparent female that kicked me, at his side wiping the corner of her mouth from a dribble of blood. Probably due to the scuffle she had with X, and she wasn't very happy with him either. With Speedy's arrow notched, another throwing dagger in X's hand, and me close to defenseless I got the feeling this showdown of sorts was going to be over in a blink of an eye as soon as the Guard with the gun gave the sign to clear the way. Another shot like in that in the alley would surely wipe the three of us off the face of existence.

He jerked his head to the side, the signal to clear-out, I tensed and Speedy charged his arrow, I reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him from raising it, "It's too close, the explosion could kill us all."

X snorted, "I don't think it matters, he gets off another shot we're dead anyway, might as well take everyone down with us."

I shot him a dark look, he glanced at me and shrugged innocently despite the exhausted look on his face, "What? Like hell am I going down alone, one of these fuckers are coming with me … and I say let it be him."

Unbelievable, even in the face of Death itself he still manages to keep his cool. I looked at Speedy my eyes traveling from his face, to his shoulder, down to the tense muscles of his arms to the fingers that gripped the string of his bow and the feather of his arrow. I watched those strong fingers slowly, but sure tighten as he pulled back his bow-string … he was really going to do it … I licked my lips and gulped when I came to the conclusion that if we were going to survive this I was going to have to use my powers. I bowed my head and closed my eyes to gather up enough energy to use in a short burst, the whites of my eyes illuminated in the dark as I opened them and glared at the gunner.

I was not going to die here today.

The gunner grinned, his lips moved, Speedy launched his arrow, he pulled the trigger and all Hell broke loose. Another explosion tore through the alley, but just as the initial blast impacted the three of us I engulfed us in my darkness and we fell tumbling through the abyss until I opened up another portal into the only other place I knew so well here in Azarath. However, I miss calculated the space and I was justly slammed into a wall with Speedy's weight landing on top of me as we collapsed to the ground. X had tumbled into the wall beside me, but he tripped over Speedy's foot when he bounced off it and failed to catch his balance.

I heard him groan … or was it Speedy?

I wasn't quite sure, my ear was ringing and my senses had gone numb do to the shock force of the explosion. I tried to take in a gulp of much needed air, but when Speedy tried to lift himself off me he accidently placed his hand on my stomach and pushed down hard enough for me to cry out in pain. He immediately removed his hand and apologized, "Shit, sorry, I can't see …"

Somewhere in the darkness I heard X mutter, "Why the fuck is it so dark?"

Why was it so dark?

From what I can recall it must have been early in the morning, precisely dawn on Azarath, this room, my childhood room, should have enough light shining through the arched windows to illuminate the entire room. Unless someone boarded the windows up, in which case it could explain why we were left in the dark … I huffed, Speedy was still on top of me and I still needed oxygen to live, "Speedy, please, you're heavy."

"Huh? Oh, right …" he rolled off, but since he wasn't aware of his surroundings he hit something hard enough to elicit a curse out of him, "The hell was that?"

X growled, "Where the hell's the light?"

I sat up and sucked in a deep breath of air, sweet, sweet oxygen, how I missed thee, "Just give me a minute to see if I can remember where the window is."

Carefully, I stood up reaching for the wall, not for support, but for memory … which wall was this to my door? I didn't want to waste my time playing guessing games, so I cheated with a little help from my demonic half and in an instant my eyes dilated and sucked up what little light poured into my room. From the tiny unnoticeable cracks coming from the entrance into my room that was at my far right to the blocked shutters of my gothic-arched windows to my left I smoothly navigated my room, dodging Speedy and X of course, to open the windows.

I grabbed the handles and with a hard jerk the sunlight flooded the dark cold room and I coughed when the dust bunnies ruthlessly attacked my eyes and nose for invading their sleeping grounds. Obviously, it's been a while since anyone's ever set foot in this room, even the air smelled fresher once I opened the windows and gazed out at the breathtaking view of the city. Beautiful … but also a cold reminder of the lonely longing I felt as a trapped child in a palace full of hatred and fear.

I tried not to let the past get to me as I moved from this tall gothic-arched window, which nearly reached the high dome ceiling of my dark tanned flesh-toned colored room, and moved to open the other two windows. Once I secured the last shutters I turned around and was surprised to find my room was actually quite … large … open … almost free. When I was a child it felt like a prison, small and confined, but now that I see it several years later I realized that my room at Titan Tower compared to nothing like my room when I was growing up.

However, as I began to scan the room and I took in the fact that it was missing a few essential things, I suddenly remembered why I considered _'my room' _a prison … this room … this wasn't really _'my room' _it was my study chamber. That's why it was so open and had a wall of books to my left and a simple meditation mat placed at the far right side of the room. This was where I studied … my room was the door to my left and the only part of the wall that wasn't completely covered with books, _that _was the cell they locked me in if I did not do as instructed.

X whistled, I blinked out of my stupor and looked at the thief who was still sitting on the floor catching his breath, but taking in the whole of the study-chamber in awe, "Whoa … this was your room? Nice …"

Speedy dusted off his shoulder, "Feels empty …" he paused in his dusting to look at me when he felt my eyes on him and I quickly looked away … I didn't know if I could trust my facial expressions at the moment. This was all a minor shock for me that I clearly wasn't prepared for; as a matter of fact I didn't even know I had to prepare for it. I've always missed my home … but there were so many bad memories stored here that it was becoming more than a bother to me and I wasn't sure if I could hold up a straight face. So I turned my back to the two to continue to stare into the view of the Northern end of the city, I just needed a moment to collect myself, then I can get down to business.

With my head bowed and my eyes closed I managed to catch the sound of church bells ringing somewhere in the distance, _Must be the Catholic church around the corner. _I wasn't keen on Catholicism, didn't bother to study it since the religion as well as the Christian belief was a little too complicated for my taste. Also … their religion damned beings like me with no hope of redemption, I always figured it would be a little too ironic and hypocritical of me to be preaching _'the word of God' _when I was the product of an unholy birth.

How's that for confidence booster?

Azarath was a place that took the freedom to express one's religion to heart; every kind of religion you find on Earth is guaranteed to be practiced here without biased ignorance. Everyone here understood and was always open to every religion. Almost like the ideal image of peace everyone on Earth wishes for … if you were human anyway … but if you were anything _but _human than the divide was thick and tall as the Berlin Wall. Especially if you were a demon … you'd have to earn some serious points with the crowd to get them to like you, otherwise forget it, you were avoided like the plague.

And to be a _half-breed, _a _nephilim _there was no life worth living if the only way to stay safe was to be locked away in a tower like I was.

"Hey …" X called to me softly as he stood beside me, he leaned against a pillar dividing one window from the other. I didn't bother to look at him, but tilted my head as an effort to let him know I acknowledged him; he got the message, "As much as I appreciate you pulling that trick out of your ass back there, I gotta ask, are we officially out of danger? Or what?"

Good question, I sighed heavily and shook my head, "They know what we look like now and probably know we're not a bunch of stupid kids messing with the wrong spell book, they'll be looking for us. So the sooner we can get Lucas's brother here, in the Temple, the sooner we can get them off our tail … in the mean time … I need to find my mother."

Speedy appeared by my unoccupied side and asked in mission-ready tone, "Where is she?"

He was ready to jump back out into the open where the Guards would come looking for us in order to finish the mission, but lucky for him, we didn't have to search far, "She's here … if we're lucky in the room next door and we don't have to go searching for her …" I chewed on the inside of my lower lip, I didn't want her to know I brought two outsiders into Azarath. It would mean implicating her in a crime and she had already paid dearly for trying to sneak me off the island, I didn't want her involved with Speedy or X in anyway. They were my responsibility and I will take the full punishment if caught. So, almost inaudibly, I instructed, "Wait here …"

I quickly turned my back on the two, crossed the study room, and reached a hand for the door handle to yank it open, but as soon as I touched it I felt a force push it open and I scrambled away from it as if it burned me. The door opened on its own accord … I could sense Speedy and X were ready for another fight … but when I laid eyes on an almost mirror image of my violet eyes my heart sank. _No … you're not suppose to know … _Arella, in her white cloak, her hood up, and her somber, yet peaceful face looked down at me and her usually passive violet eyes widened ever so slightly in shock when she laid her eyes on me.

Her hand went to her heart as she stood straight up and I couldn't help to notice we were now both the same height, her face barely had a flaw on it, a little crows-feet as a testament to her age, but otherwise my own mother could pass for my older sister. If she wasn't so refined and rigid that is, she acted her age, and did her best to remain as low-key as a mother with a half-breed for a child could. She loved me despite her being emotionally-detached from me, that much I knew, she'd die for me, and despite knowing all this, having all my memories come bubbling to the surface … I didn't know what to say or do.

My mind completely blanked out.

All that did slip from my mouth was a dull, if even audible, "Arella …"

The same hand she touched her heart with lifted off her chest to gently slide over my cheek in a gentle caress. Cold … her hands were cold to the touch like she had spent most of her days in an air-conditioned room and I flinched from it, but did not pull away, even as she grasped the back of my neck and pulled me closer to her. I closed my eyes and bowed my head when she kissed my forehead and softly whispered my name, "Raven …"

I wanted to hug her … I wanted her to hug me … I wanted her to be my mother and love me as her child … I wanted … I wanted her to be proud of me … but I got neither when she pulled away from me and tucked her hands into the sleeves of her robe. Her face remained, though tranquil and delighted to find my presences before her, grave of my arrival since she already knew why I had come. She wasted no time getting to the point, "You've received my letter then?"

I nodded quickly, "Yes, I've come to collect the boy."

She sighed gently, "I knew you would. May I come in? I don't think it proper to discuss matters of this severity so openly in the hall."

I let her in and tensed against the door when I closed it after she stepped in and momentarily paused to notice my guests. Speedy and X both stood at attention, but try as they might my mother broke through their nonchalant personas with her piercing stare (now they know where I get it). They suddenly looked like little boys caught red-handed in the cookie-jar and kept blinking to avoid staring directly into my mother's eyes. To anyone else, this would seem funny – bloody frickin' hilarious actually – but I held my breath … what would she say? She was a mother … mother's know all, and suddenly the weight of Speedy's earlier observation came crashing down on me.

I think I should have stuck with the hot-pink halter-top rather than change into X's flannel shirt because now I felt as guilty as sin.

I just prayed to any God that would listen to guide either of them down the path where they wouldn't say anything _stupid_!

Arella, under her robe I spotted her right leg move behind her left and gracefully she curtseyed as a sign of a higher up giving those of lower rank the permission to speak with her openly. Her hands were clasped in front of her while she did so to emphasize her rank, and I chilled when I remembered I didn't school the guys on how to respond to this sort of greeting. So, with my mother's back still to me, I quick caught their attention and showed them to place their right hand over their heart and their left hand behind their back as they bowed. X arched a brow and tilted his head in confusion, Speedy narrowed his eyes and so since they were too dense to get the message I did it again with more emphasize.

They ended up mirroring me with the opposite going to either.

Left hand over their heart and their right hand behind their back, my cheeks went bright red when the meaning behind such a gesture made my mother chuckle lightheartedly. She looked back at me over her shoulder and playfully jested, "Precious, but don't you think it a bit problematic having two suitors asking me for your hand?"

Oooh Lord Jesus no … I sank into the background and gulped … it was an old tradition that died off a while ago due to this exact mix up. The left hand over the heart use to mean loyalty in love and honor, and the right hand behind the back meant the suitor promised to never hold himself over his love and that they would have an equal relationship. The gestured was reserved only for the man who was asking permission from the parent to court the daughter … and … this may have just been me … but I think my mother _planned _that.

By the Beard of Zeus, even my own _mother _takes amusement in my torment!

Arella, after having her little laugh approached the two and softly said, "Rise, you are friends of my daughter I am sure, so you need not be so formal within my presences."

They looked up at her and as I walked up to join them I sighed heavily and got to the introductions, "Arella, this is Drake and … and Speedy, Drake, Speedy, this is Arella, my mother."

Arella nodded, "Pleasure."

X had to open his mouth and though he put on the most charming smile a guy like him could muster, I just wished he glued his trap shut, "Wow, like mother like daughter, now we know where Raven get's her good looks."

I glared at him warningly even scowled when I was sure my mother wasn't looking as she responded politely, "Charmed."

Her eyes swept from X to Speedy and like a soldier whose captain called to his attention he straightened up when Arella noted his name, "Speedy … you must be one of the Titans."

"Titans East ma'am, I work in a separate division from Raven."

_Relax Speedy … _I pleaded with him inwardly, his tension was making me tense and I wanted to try and be as calm as possible while my mother drilled the boys on the spot.

She cocked her head to the side as if to appear interested, I knew she wasn't, "Oh really? Then what brings the two of you together?"

"Unforeseen circumstances, I'm just here as a friend looking out for another friend."

Arella grew tired of him and shifted back to X who seemed to be a little more relaxed now that he had a good inward laugh over Speedy's expense. He smirked at my mother when she asked, "And you? What brings you here with my daughter if you are not a Titan?"

His smirk turned into a grin, "Just looking for a little fun, it's not every day you visit another world and get to explore their treasures right?"

"You'll find no treasures to hunt here, and judging from the arsenal you carry entertainment is not what you seek either." She made a subtle gesture to the holster of throwing daggers wrapped around his waist. The dark gray shirt he was wearing was supposed to go over it, but apparently he forgot to check his appearance and so his weaponry was exposed.

He looked down and quickly fixed his shirt, but didn't skip a beat and shrugged innocently, "You can never be too careful."

"Indeed …" my mother, ever to the point turned to face me and without inhibition said, "At the very least they are competent."

I huffed, "If you had sent a letter directly to me I would have probably had more time to prepare for this assignment, but as it is this is what I have to deal with."

"I hold no judgment over the choice of your company –" I narrowed my eyes sarcastically, _You mean you won't say it directly to my face what you really think of them … _she ignored my look, "– however I was hoping Lucas would accompany you … he has a right to be reunited with his family."

I scowled, "As heartwarming as that sounds, Arella, we were lucky Lucas didn't join us. The Temple Guards know of our arrival and nearly killed us on the way here, so if you don't mind the faster you give us directions to Lucas's father's whereabouts the sooner I can get them –" I pointed to X and Speedy, "– out of here and keep you from imprisonment."

She held her head up and ever so slightly narrowed her exotic almond shaped eyes on me, a look I was greatly familiar with that meant she was not pleased with my attitude or tone of voice, "If you wish to go charging headfirst into danger I am sorry to say that I won't let you without the proper precautions."

I gritted my teeth in frustration, now was not the time for a mother's protectiveness, "Arella … –"

"Spare me a moment, and I shall return," with that she turned on her heel and with the grace only one of age and wisdom could grant she glided out of the room and barely made a sound as she gently closed the door. After the resounding _click _that echoed softly from the door into our ears, the air changed and Speedy and X both visibly relaxed their shoulders, and let a pent up sigh of relief escape their lips. I, on the other hand, remained tense and impatient. What could my mother possibly be planning that'll help us out in anyway?

Why would she furthermore incriminate herself?

"Damn Rae," X swore under his breath, I narrowed my eyes on him as he grinned at me and shook his head, "your mother is one piece of work … I almost expected her to throw me out the window."

I scowled, "You're lucky _I _didn't."

"You really do look like your mother though," Speedy commented as he leaned against a pillar and tightly crossed his arms over his chest, a similar grin of amusement laced over his invitingly chiseled lips and I couldn't help to inwardly blush. Something about the comment just sounded … sweet of him to say. What is it about guys that are observant? He tilted his head and the way the morning light hit his orange red hair just made his face glow with a bright fire as he asked curiously, "Why is it you call your mother by her name?"

I glanced at X to find his amber eyes were also brought to light by the sunlight; they looked so gold that I swear they could pass for golden coins. Treasures unbelievably rare and so valuable that even a thief of his caliber couldn't steal them, but then that would be ridiculous, considering the fact he owns them. However, it wasn't so much the bright intensity of his yellow gold eyes that caught my attention, but also the similar look of curiosity, he wanted to know the answer just as badly as Speedy. So I smoothed my hair down and sighed, it wasn't like I was opening up my entire past to them, and the question seemed harmless, so I answered, "Well, how I grew up, the term _mother _somehow became irrelevant to me, so gradually I stopped calling her _mom _and addressed her as her given name. I figured it was more out of respect than anything else."

Speedy nodded in understanding, but X's brows furrowed as he tilted his head and inquired about something that bothered him, "From what I understand bringing outsiders here is one serious offence … but, if you're mother didn't help you then why would _she _be the one going to jail? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was only the three of us? Or is association after the fact a factor here?"

I shook my head, "It's … a little more complicated than that … you see, I was never supposes to be on Earth, much less become a Titan," I glanced at Speedy for a brief moment before I continued, "My mother helped me get away from here, but once the monks found out of her treachery they ordered my immediate return for a trial. Our record was expunged and we were spared any punishment, but if Arella were to commit another felony she would be exiled from Azarath … if not imprisoned for a really long time."

I took a moment to remember that evening … it was the evening someone of great importance had come to the city and the monks had arranged for a grand welcome for that particular person. I remembered looking out the study-chamber's window and hearing the church bells ring so loud I was sure it resonated throughout the entire island. Confetti was thrown into the sky along with rice, and other pretty spells were cast to light the dark night with explosions of beautiful array of colors that made me wish I could be down there to help greet this important person. I don't really remember what his name was … I think it was Clarence … Clayton … Clairton … something, but what I did know was that he was some prince or king of some long forgotten (and well hidden) land that had yet to be sullied by the modern-evolution of Earth.

I remembered thinking it must have been a really beautiful place, a true paradise.

It was within the time of my little daydream did my mother enter the room, I had stood, greatly alarmed by her sudden entrance. I had asked her what the matter was, and all she was: _'It's time' _I knew what she meant and without further coaxing I followed her through the empty halls of the Palace (everyone had disappeared to greet the special guest). We weaved our way down into the dungeon that wasn't as dank or grimy or even smelly as I had first pictured it was. Instead, it was just … dull … the walls were a boring light gray and the bars were made of pure silver to prevent magical tampering, the florescent lighting was harsh and cold, not at all warm like the torches and lamps used on the surface were.

There were no guards, from what I can recall, I think they were in the process of switching which left us a period of emptiness and so we traversed the dungeon. Arella had gripped my hand so tightly it had begun to hurt as she walked even faster, she urged me to hurry and I nearly broke into a run in order to keep up. However, it was within this rush did I become our folly, we rounded another corner, I took it too sharply and clipped my shoulder, I cried loud enough to echo throughout the dungeon. Arella had grabbed me and slapped a hand over my mouth to shut me up, but it was too late.

Through our heavy breathing, and unbearable silence we heard the guard's footsteps, they were hurried, rushed, and quick. They were coming for us. Arella had spun me around and pushed me down the dungeon, she gave me the keys and instructed me to open the last cell to my left and feel the bottom of the far wall. There was supposed to be some kind of hidden passage that'll connect with the series of secret tunnels that honeycombed throughout the entire island. I was to follow it and once I spotted the four ritual candles conduct the portal spell and leave … without her.

I didn't argue then … even though I knew what she was going to do … I didn't argue and did as I was told for that was all I was taught.

To do as I was told …

I closed my eyes and turned away from X and Speedy to pretend to mingle along my old library of books, tomes, and scrolls as the memory of my escape faded into obscurity.

No surprise, X appeared at my side, or rather more so behind me as I felt his lingering presences loom over me while I continued to scan over my little collection. A small tingling sensation shimmed down my spine when he reached up a hand and with his knuckles gently began to run it slowly up and down the length of my left arm. I never knew such a simple gesture could make me feel so comforted, but I didn't dare show it, even as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "You alright?"

I nodded, "Of course I am …" his hand slowly trailed downward and I felt his fingertips gently touch mine before I felt him try to weave his hand into mine. I quickly shook him off and stepped away from his warmth when I felt Speedy's eyes watching us intently. Not that I really cared what he thought of us, I just don't like PDA, and … okay … so maybe I _did _kind of cared about what he thought of us, but it wasn't like I wanted his approval. Speedy knew Drake was Red X, I don't know how he even put the pieces together, but the fact is he knew and he also knew we were closer than _friends, _which was very bad.

Very, _very _bad.

So I ignored X and went on to absentmindedly scan my book collection.

X, however, wasn't going to let it go, he propped himself against the books I was done looking at and glared at me, I only fleetingly spared him a glance to notice the glare before I went on to look over my books. He growled under his breath so Speedy couldn't hear, "Come on Raven, this doesn't make any senses, why should it matter if that guy sees us together?"

I narrowed my eyes and snapped sharply, "Because he knows about you …"

Slowly, his face fell from tense and pursed, to calculated as his eyes trailed to frantically search the ground for whatever he was looking for in that head of his. Try as he might to hold up the posture of a relaxed laid-back guy, the tenseness in his shoulders were hard to miss. I licked my lips and scooted a little closer to him in order to hear him ask, "How long has he known?"

I bowed my eyes from him when he looked down at me and I sighed softly, "I don't know …"

"Why hasn't he done anything?"

"I don't know, X," suddenly, saying that alias wasn't so easy or smooth coming from my lips. It felt vile, and I almost had to force myself to couch it up in front of Speedy, even though I was pretty sure he couldn't hear us from this distance, I shook my head slowly, "I don't know what's going through his mind … but I know he's not going to let us get away with what he knows."

At least he can't … what kind of Titan would let such a betrayal slip?

"…" X refrained from saying anything else, even if he wanted to say something more he couldn't, the door into the study-chamber had opened again and Arella silently slipped in with an arm full of neatly folded clothing. She closed the door and approached us, X pushed himself off the bookshelf, and I noticed him discreetly slide away from Speedy when the archer joined the group. Under his masked eyes he glanced at X, the subtle movement didn't go unnoticed to me, and I felt his eyes land on me, I looked at him with a bland expression, but it was enough to convey an answer to his curiosity.

Now, all three of us were in the loop and in sync with the knowledge of who we all were … the question is … what happens now?

It'll have to wait for Arella, thankfully oblivious to the drama unfolding before her eyes, held out the pile of clothing and looked at me with a hint o amusement in her eyes, "I suspected you wouldn't come alone, therefore I prepared a clever guise to fool the guards you so blatantly defied."

She handed Speedy and X each a pair of clothing, but before I could observe what it was that she was so proud of she grabbed my shoulder and roughing shoved me away from the two towards my small sleeping quarters. I winced at her vise grip, "Ah, Arella, I can walk on my own."

"I am very well aware of that, but time is of the essences so we must hurry." She yanked open the door to my room, pushed me in and soon followed after me as she closed the door shut. I turned around, in the middle of pitch-black darkness to glare at her when unknowingly she had already glided across the small room to jerk open the shutters to flood the small space with sunlight.

I winced, at the sudden light, and growled, "What is the meaning of –oof!"

She all but threw the last remaining clothes in my arms and with conviction she ordered me to get dressed in the outfit she had apparently chosen for me to wear. I eyed her with a look of annoyance before I unfolded the outfit and stiffened when I first noticed one thing, "Uh … Arella … this is a _dress."_

She nodded and stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world (and it might as well have been), "Yes it is."

I scowled, "I can't maneuver properly in a _dress."_

"In this one you can," she reached over and lifted the front of the dark-blue gown to expose the fact that it had two high slits that I knew would run all the way up pass my upper thighs to stop at my hip. I also noted that it was skin tight and off the shoulder, with the sleeves acting as nothing but useless cloth dangling from the shoulders, completely pointless, "I made sure the fabric is breathable and flexible, so it should serve its due purpose."

My scowl darkened, "And what purpose is that? To be some kind of arm candy for a rich old geezer! Arella, I am not wearing this."

She stepped up to me and unintentionally I stepped back, but my back hit the door and I gulped down my anger when her finger came close to my face and her almond eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. My mother can be mean when she wants to, "You will if you wish to avoid attention from the Temple Guards who are looking for a girl dressed as a tomboy. Now, take off your clothes and put the dress on so we can have this done and over with."

I felt a growl bubbling to the surface, but I swallowed it back down along with my pride and maneuvered around my mother to undress myself and throw the pants and the shirt I was wearing on my small low to the ground bed. My mother then took the dress and helped me slip into it, quickly smoothing out all the wrinkles till it completely hugged every curve of my body. She then ordered me to take off my shoes and slip on a pair of matching dark-blue flats along with a pair of large silver-disk oval-shaped earrings (my ears are pierced, but since I don't wear jewelry often she had to re-puncture the holes). Afterwards she climbed on my bed to kneel behind me as she set to work on my hair, all she did was French-braid it and with her lithe fingers she was done in under two minute.

I then stood up and presented the new look to her, she nodded in approval, tugged at the back of my dress to straighten out an imaginary wrinkle and then pushed me out the door, but before I stepped out I grumbled, "I feel ridiculous."

Arella scoffed (surprisingly she still sounded lady-like in doing so), "Nonsense, for once you look like a lady of the court."

I walked back into the study chamber and turned around to glare at my mother as she closed the door to my smaller room, "I am a child of destruction, this _dress _is not going to change who I am to the monks, and like hell it's going to fool them."

She chastised me, "Watch your language, and besides, I think your friends approve of it."

_Friends? _I spun around and my cheeks and ears went hot red when both Speedy and X's eyes were trained solely on me, X's mouth had fallen open slightly, and Speedy's brows had all but hit the ceiling when the shocking reality of me in a dress slapped them across the face. It didn't help that the slits on the dress sent a cool unwanted breeze in places a breeze should never go. I felt so uncomfortable, so exposed, and my mother was eating it all up delightfully as she sauntered around me to stand with the guys in order to admire my _'rebirth' _with them. I never wanted to crawl into a hole and die so badly as I do right now in this very moment, I hated attention, and even worse I hated attention that stemmed from a change of appearance.

Really … if I were wearing my plain old get up and walked out of a room I would never get the same reaction and that to me felt like a betrayal of personality. Were X and Speedy really so shallow to be floored by my _ravishing_ good looks? Feh, of course they are … they were players in a class all their own, they could nail any hot girl they wanted to, and I'm sure have done so at one point in their life. How silly of me to expect them to stare at me as anything more than another cute girl to screw … in X's case, to screw _again._

I wanted to tear the dress off.

Going naked was more comforting than going dressed as _this, _but I, again, swallowed my pride, held my head up and took a moment to observe what X and Speedy were wearing and it didn't take long for another disapproving scowl to spread across my lips. They were in the Temple Guard's _uniform! _A simple three-piece that consisted of loose white pants that were partially tucked into black leather boots that folded over itself and was also held up with a simple black belt that also acted as a holster for a sword. A tucked in black top that hugged their body like their previous uniforms and was either at elbow-length sleeves (X) or no-sleeves (Speedy). Complete with the final dark gray-blue open that had a high collar and thick white outlines, not exactly stylish, but it was the general uniform, meaning they were pretty much foot-soldiers with hardly any rank whatsoever.

Guards like them were assigned to meager jobs as protection services, and doormen.

It wasn't hard to figure out what my mother was planning from here, and I didn't like it in the least. I turned to glare at her, and argue a point, but ended up biting my tongue when I knew I wouldn't win the argument. Not when we needed all the help we could get to keep off the radar and these _'costumes' _– damn them to hell – were exactly what we needed. I sulked, and crossed my arms under my chest as I pouted and glared off into the distance to gather myself for a moment to accept the inevitable.

I almost lost myself in my sulking when Speedy suddenly said, "You look good …"

_How lame … _I thought with a scowl, but when I turned to glare at him I saw the sincerity of his comment and decided to bit back my biting jib to nod as I thanked him, curtly, "Thank you …"

I saw X, at the corner of his eye, shoot Speedy a look so dark it could have burned the palace down. Thankfully, though, my mother took her cue and called to everyone's attention when she said, "The illusion is nearly complete, there are two more things we are missing, one of them I shall go and retrieve, and the other is you," she pointed to Speedy, but since Speedy still had his gaze fixed on me he wasn't aware of her pointing, until he realized she stopped talking for a full minute and he finally turned to notice her sights set on him.

He reeled in earnest shock, "Me?"

"Yes you," my mother confirmed and said the last thing I expected her to say, "you have to take off your mask."

**--**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, Azarath, or Arella, DC does (but I do own the concept of this story), Lucas, Marcus, and the Temple Guards are mine though …**

**A/N: I do love a good cliffhanger, it's good for the soul … or, at least I think it is, (shrugs) hell if I know, oh yeah and if any one caught Raven's 'dress' yes I did get part of the idea from Raven of the comics =) but that's about it XDD. So if anyone got any questions, comments, reviews send them in and we'll see where this story takes us, thank you for those that are reviewing, reading, or just visiting, you all make me so happy!!**

**L8er daez!!**


	27. Foot Soldiers

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Foot Soldiers**

"… What?" Came Speedy's bewildered expression, and I stiffened when I sensed X's dark aura suddenly turn to that of malicious amusement, and it didn't take a mastermind to know what was going through his mind. Knowing a Titan's true identity was like hitting the jackpot and X had hit it big, if Speedy took off his mask X would know what he looks like and in turn would look up his background. A vicious cycle that I couldn't let happen, for the sake of a friend I couldn't let my mother complicate the matter more than it already was.

Bad enough Speedy knew who X was, and I was pretty sure if I played my cards right I could probably get Speedy to let X off, but I couldn't trust X to do him the same honor. If anything, X would hold the title over his head like a guillotine, and I hated to seem like I didn't trust the thief, but lying, cheating, and stealing were his professions. Speedy's identity was the ultimate meal ticket, my mother, however, was oblivious to this knowledge and stated as-a-matter-of-factly, "Take off your mask, I think I was quite clear on my instructions."

X crossed his arms and leaned back with a delightfully-evil smirk on his lips as he watched the scene unfold when Speedy scowled, "I know what you said, I just wanna know why."

Arella straightened up, "I thought it obvious. The Guards will be searching for a man in a mask accompanied with two other companions, so you must remove it in order for all of you to move about the city freely."

"I am not taking off my mask," Speedy scoffed as if he heard the stupidest suggestion in the world, but try to deny it, my mother's argument was sound. Not many people – if any at all – wear masks, for the people saw no need for it, wearing a mask meant the person had something to hide and if someone had something to hide on this island it usually was cause for concern. Speedy would he attracting so much attention he might as well paint a bright read bull's-eye on his forehead and scream: _Here I am _to any onlooker who were partial to the Temple Guards.

Yet, despite this concrete logic I had to preserve my friend's identity from X somehow, if not, prevent Arella from taking it off at all, but my mother was relentless. Arella blinked and moved her head in such a way that I knew meant she was offended if not shocked he was blatantly defying her orders, not that my mother was a diva-bitch. No, she was just looking out for my wellbeing, and if Speedy was going to be part of my company my mother had to be in control of him to be in control of my environment in order to keep me safe. Over protective, maybe, but my mother has come too far to let my life end because of a boy's stubbornness.

She remained refined and clasped her hands in front of her while her almond violet eyes narrowed mercilessly on the archer who visibly flinched at such a harsh stare, I moved from my place to stand beside either of them as Arella calmly, elegantly, and classily asked, "May I ask why?"

Speedy shrugged her off rudely, all formalities gone out the window with him since his identity was on the line, I didn't blame him, but I winced when I felt the spitefulness of his words stab at my mother's patience, "You may, doesn't mean I have to tell you jack."

Arella, in stark contrast to me, had the patience of a saint, I've seen her let people off for saying and doing far worse than what Speedy had done, but it didn't stop me from fearing for the archer's life when Arella tightened her grip around her hands and bowed her head. Not in submission, but in mock understanding, for her tone, though sweet and gentle was laced with the promise of dark vengeful thoughts when she said, "My daughter's life is more valuable to me than your vanity … so please, remove your mask by the time I return."

With that, as cool as a breeze, as silent as a shadow, and as swift as a lithe little mouse my mother left the room with nothing but the anticlimactic _click _of a door closed silently behind her. The worst was yet to come and just as Speedy let out a string of curses from his lips I turned to him and said, "Speedy, you don't have to listen to her, she's just scared for my wellbeing is all."

On the side X snickered derisively, "But she is right …" Speedy's shoulder's tensed as he slowly, stiffly shot the thief a dark enough look to give the bat-family a run for their money. I glared at him warningly, but the thief didn't care, he shrugged innocently and had the audacity to say, "I mean … what kind of friend would you be if you purposefully put Raven's life on the line for something as meaningless as an _identity."_

That struck a nerve, I felt Speedy's aura spike dangerously close to guilt and rage all in one. I moved to block Speedy from X's contemptuous little jibs while hoping against hope that he would at least understand how big of a deal this was to Speedy. I mean, they both wear masks and their masks were everything to them … it was the locked window into their souls that kept any trespassers from intruding on their deepest thoughts. For through their exposed faces everything was laid out for the world to judge … to mock … and to see just how very human a hero and a villain can be. Surely, X wasn't so heartless to forgo empathetic compassion just to satisfy his cruelty, "Drake, you are _not _helping."

I went unnoticed, X was not going to play nice, his grin darkened and I could even swear his golden eyes turned a shade darker, "Come on, _slick, _I showed you mine … why don't you show me yours?"

I growled, "Drake –!"

"Raven," I turned to Speedy when he called my attention, and followed him willingly when he grabbed my hand and dragged me close to the arch windows away from X's hearing range. The thief in mention didn't bother to follow, but instead stood looking quite pleased with himself, like he had already won some kind of prize in some contest I wasn't aware of. I cursed him for being such an asshole, but I wasn't at all surprised or disappointed with his actions … to expect anything more from him would be asking for too much. I looked up at Speedy when the archer let go of a held in breath and leaned an arm on the pillar of the gothic-arches while he glared out at the horizon and said disheartened, "I'm screwed aren't I?"

I gulped and shook my head, "You don't have to take it off Speedy, we can deal with it –"

He turned his glare on me and hissed, "But they're right! Shit … do you even trust him?"

I shrugged, "As much as you can trust a person like him."

He arched a suspicious brow, "So you _don't _trust him? Cuz' I don't trust guys like him."

I rolled my eyes, "I mean with your identity …" I sighed heavily and scooted closer to him when I dialed down my tone just a bit, "You can't take off your mask around him. It'll be suicide."

"Think I don't know that?" He sneered coldly, then shook his head and again narrowed his gaze on me, "What is the deal between the two of you anyway? Are you seeing each other? Or what? Why can't you give me a straight frickin' answer?"

Through gritted teeth I asked, "Is that even relevant?"

He scoffed and shrugged as he turned away from me to again glare at the horizon; it was within this moment did I hear him murmur, "It could be …"

His face went somber as he lost himself in thought. His body though present in the physical senses of the word was miles away surfing the rollercoaster waves of ideas, thoughts, and considerations in his head. Loyally, I stood by his side waiting for him to come to some conclusion and hoped that it was within his best interest … and not for me … or for the greater good. The greater-good get people killed and though Speedy wasn't exactly a close friend of mine I still felt the need to keep him from making a stupid mistake. After everything we've been through and everything he's already done for me how could I let him throw his career away?

A cold chill went down my spine when he pushed off the pillar and still facing the horizon he lifted up his left hand and I watched in horror as his index and thumb began to peel away the corner of his mask, "Speedy …" his alias left my lips in despair. I couldn't let him do it! My right hand shot up and grabbed his wrist to stop him from peeling the cloth away any further, he stopped, but he smirked in amusement.

Stupidly I had forgotten God had graced him with _two _hands and he reached up his free right hand to the other corner of his mask and with one quick jerk it fell off his face and I found myself staring into deep, _deep _jade-green pools that drowned me in their depth. Don't get me wrong, I've seen Speedy without his mask, I knew his name, I knew his history, but those times didn't feel as intimate as it did now. For some strange reason, despite the horror and disbelief, I felt like for once he was actually _looking _at me, and not just acknowledging my existence, but really noticing my presence for the first time in never.

Now … now it really did feel like we were friends and everything he had ever said to me now held more weight, meaning, and purpose to me. Also, if there was one thing Speedy can be accused of, is of being dangerously handsome, his smirk turned into a cocky smile and with the way the sunlight glinted off his beautiful jade-green eyes just made him seem all the more irresistible.

Speedy winked and reintroduced himself to me, "Roy Harper, at your service." I slipped my hand from his wrist, but before it fell to my side he grabbed it and I immediately looked down when I felt him place his mask in my hand and close my fingers around it. I frowned, _Why would he give it to me? _I looked back up at him and went stalk-still when his smile turned deadly, "Now … you owe me."

It took a second for me to get his meaning, but when it finally sank in so did my heart sink into my gut as I clenched his mask into a tight fist and scowled, _The bastard! He's doing this for me?! _To any other girl it would have seemed so romantic and probably even swooned into his embraced as they rode off into the bloody-goddamned-sunset, but me? No. I was pissed, why – _how _could he ever come to the conclusion that he had to do this to protect me? I could take care of my damn self! Why can't the men in my life see this?! What?! Do I have to stamp it on my damn forehead: _Miss Independent _for them to finally get it?!

I almost – _almost _– slapped the mask back on his face just to spite him, but refrained and huffed in exasperation as I shook my head. It was his decision, if he wanted to expose himself to X, then that was fine, I don't care, I need to stop caring so damn much anyway. I could already feel my demon-blood struggling to keep my pristine violet locks violet and not turn silver too soon. Ridiculous! Just … unbelievable!

With his mask still in my grasp I turned away from him and marched back to X who had been watching us intently the entire time, his amber eyes trailing from me, to Speedy, then back to me with a sneer. I knew Speedy must have mockingly saluted X if not flipped him off and dared him to suggest he was a coward again. X scoffed when Speedy joined us and bitingly snapped, "Didn't know you Titans were full of pretty boys."

Speedy rebuked, "You should talk bright-eyes."

X growled, "Go suck on a clover."

"Not before you lick my Lucky Charms."

"Like you got any."

I had it, "Both you ladies grow up … Azar …" I shook my head; honestly, they can be such kids sometimes, ugh.

Thankfully, no sooner had I shut them up did the door to my room reopen and my mother stepped in, but instead of coming in all the way she turned around and took something from someone else's hands. Out of instinct and suspicion I approached the door, but held out my hand as a gesture for X and Speedy to stay behind me when I heard Arella address whoever it was by saying, _"Please wait here," _and then turned to face us as she closed the door.

In her arms, cradled preciously was a scabbard with its sword nestled inside, and the other a shorter, but more curvier blade with a single edge looked a lot like one of the cutlasses X had wielded when we were trapped on Tameran. However, it wasn't the swords that made me narrow my eyes cautiously as I quietly asked, "Who was that?"

She responded offhandedly, "You'll find out soon enough," she stepped up to Speedy and X, but her eyes lingered on Speedy when she noticed the archer without his mask. He shifted uncomfortably under her analytical gaze, his green eyes trailing to the ground unable to hold her stare as Arella, still holding the swords, bowed her head in gratitude and said softly, "Thank you."

Speedy shrugged sheepishly as he muttered, "It's for the greater good."

I inwardly scowled at that comment, doing things for the _'greater-good' _get people killed and in trouble, but I refrained from expressing my disliking of his reasoning and stood beside my mother as she held the swords out for Speedy and X to take. Speedy took the cutlass, X took the sheathed blade and unsheathed it, and they both eyed and weighed their weapons before looking at one another and trading off blades. The interaction didn't go unnoticed by myself, but I didn't bother to say anything and instead gave my mother the floor when she cleared her throat and stated, "These are standard issued swords for foot-soldiers, you won't be able to convince anyone of your occupation if you are without one."

Speedy slid his sword and its sheath into the holster on the left side of his belt and clipped it into place, the way he seemed to dismiss the weapon made me wonder if he even knew how to wield it. I've only ever seen him fire off shots with his bow, and if need be use that bow as a last defense in close-quarter combat. Numerous times I've seen him utterly defenseless without it. Was he only a one-trick pony?

I get the feeling I'll be finding that out soon enough.

My gaze shifted to X when I heard the wind whistle as he twirled his cutlass a couple of times, using only his fingers and barely his wrist until he switched his ministrations from his right to his left, but I don't think it was to show off. He looked like he was concentrating on something only he was familiar with and with a clean swipe he slashed downward. I felt the air split, and it seemed impressive enough, but he wasn't satisfied with it. He frowned and clipped the blade into its holster (and I had to refrain from chuckling when I was reminded of a pirate with his completed guise intact).

The Temple Guard look was unbecoming of him, unlike Speedy who seemed built for a life in uniform and service; X just looked like someone trying to make a fashion statement, and a bad one at that. Yet, it didn't seem to matter to him since he was more focused on his arsenal, "It's a bit heavy on the hilt, but so long as it isn't a defensive blade I'm good."

I arched a brow with a question I've been meaning to ask at the tip of my tongue, but Arella interjected before I could get a word out and as she clasped her hands in front of her she moved on to thoroughly rain on X's parade. She began to explain the technicalities of the issued swords. I, myself, knew X was not going to like what she had to say when I too remembered the rules, "Foot-soldiers are allowed to carry two weapons, one of them being the standard blade of your desire, and the other a weapon of your personal choice. However, throwing-daggers are frowned upon as choices."

X's grin was wiped off his face as he blinked and reeled his head back in confusion, "Wha – you serious?"

Arella, again, nodded in confirmation, "You may hold one dagger, but I suggest you leave the rest of your collection here. Projectiles such as those are considered more than two chosen weapons to carry on your person."

X scowled and jerked a thumb to Speedy, "This guy over here has a whole bag of trick-arrows, you kidding me?"

_Don't be difficult X, please not now, _I inwardly pleaded with him as my mother straightened her back and explained, "Arrows are virtually useless without the bow so the Temple Guards see the arrows and bow as one whole weapon."

I shot my mother a knowing look, apparently she didn't realize what _'trick-arrows' _were, she figured Speedy's quiver was just full off the run-of-the-mill sharp-tipped arrows. Oh, was she so wrong and I could tell even Speedy caught the difference because he was struggling to keep his face straight, his eyes gave him away. Inwardly he was laughing his ass off since he knew his arrows did more than just hurt, he glanced at me when he caught me glaring at him suspiciously and he winked playfully. I rolled my eyes and sighed, I was not going to get involved with this, not if it meant starting another fight with X.

Frankly, I've had enough of their childish squabbling. Which was why I was thankful when all X did in response to Arella's explanation was huff in exasperation. He grudgingly cooperated with Arella's instructions and slipped off his uniform vest. Under it the holster which held all his throwing-daggers had been converted into a miniature vest so they remained hidden to the untrained eye. All of them had their handles flipped facing the ground so it made grabbing them easier if X needed one. He slipped that off, held it up for all of us to see, grabbed one dagger and just as he handed Arella the holster, Speedy grabbed his wrist holding the one dagger and yanked him back.

X growled in irritation, "What the hell man?!

Speedy grabbed the dagger out of his hand and before our eyes he split the handle apart and showed that the single dagger was actually two in one, a smaller blade had apparently been hidden in the larger one. The archer glared at the annoyed thief and sneered mockingly, "Nice try." He handed Arella the smaller knife, she thanked him, and with X pouting and looking so guilty in the corner Speedy gave X the dagger back.

I shook my head, go figured he'd try to pull a fast one on us.

X snatched it away from Speedy and with a swift jerk jammed it into his belt before sliding his vest back on and tightly crossing his arms over his chest as he glared heatedly at nothing but air and muttered, "Well this sucks."

Arella walked over to the bookshelf and placed the holster on the highest shelf her height allowed her to reach (which wasn't much) effortlessly she hid it behind a few dusty scrolls and after dusting off her white robe she returned to the group her gaze still set on X as she _'suggested'_, "I also suggest you relinquish whatever handgun you may have stored on your person."

I shot X a dark look, what – _when _– the hell had he found the time to store a handgun on him! For that matter, _how _would he do it? The uniform my mother gave him barely had anymore places to stash something as bulky as a gun, it couldn't be possible, but when he narrowed his golden eyes on Arella it just made him all the more guilty when he asked, "Why?"

He was being difficult on purpose, so I cut in, "It's illegal for civilians to carry guns let alone own one. Only the Temple Guards of higher ranked officials are allowed to carry them."

He shrugged and played stupid, "Again, why?"

"You need to go through a special kind of training to wield one and take extra standardized psychiatric therapy in order to determine if whether or not your mentally fit to have a weapon of great power. You saw the damage the Guard in the alley inflicted."

"Yea, and if you ask me he looked like he skipped out on a session or two."

I huffed, "Drake, just hand over your gun."

"I don't got any," he lifted his shoulders up to his ears and dropped them as he tried to look innocent, he was failing miserably, "it's too bulky for tastes."

Too bad I knew him better than anyone in this room, because I stepped up to him and held out my hand, "Hand it over Drake."

He challenged me with a stubborn glare, I countered with an even darker look of my own that wasn't too happy with his attitude. In the end, I won, he gruffly snorted and again slipped off his vest, but this time he opened it up and much to my surprise (and shock, I can't believe I missed that) strapped to the back of the vest was one of Lucas's Desert Eagle .50 caliber semi-automatic pistols black in color so it made it easier to hide. However, when he took it out he fiddled with the hammer of the gun and again to my surprise he had rigged the 18 round clips to fire automatically. Basically, it was a mini submachine-gun if he held down the trigger; it was so illegal it wasn't even funny!

After he discharged the bullet from the barrel, undid the magazine clips so the gun was officially empty, he handed me the pieces and I was quite surprised at how heavy it was. Or rather, I shouldn't be. Something that could do so much damage was not to be taken lightly so I held the handle and the clip tightly as I walked around my mother and placed it with the rest of X's weapons while I heard the thief weakly try to defend himself by saying, "You never know what might go down."

Speedy scoffed, "With that much firepower? What were you expecting? To go up against an entire armada?"

"Don't you got a pot of gold somewhere you gotta defend?"

I turned around in time to see Speedy turn to X and exclaim, "What the hell gives you the idea that I'm Irish?!"

X, with a malice grin on his lips shrugged, "Nothing, it's just funny as hell." He then sucked in a deep breath and shrugged, "So what? We done? Can we go now?"

Arella nodded, but turned to me and from the inside of her robe she pulled out a piece of paper, I quickly crossed the room to take it as she said, "Follow this address to a chapel at the far northeastern quadrant of Azarath, ask for Clarence Zarni –"

Speedy and X at once chimed in bewilderment, _"What kind of name is Clarence?"_

We (my mother and me) ignored them as she continued on to say, "A servant girl who favors me is making sure to occupy the guards in the dungeon so to make it easier for you all to slip into the catacombs, I'm assuming you remember where and how to navigate through them?"

I memorized that map like it was the back of my hand, I nodded, "I know the way."

"Good …" Arella sucked in a deep breath and softened her expression to say, "Be careful … and stay of the Mowaia District."

I clutched the paper in my hand and reassured my mother, "I'll try … and I'll be back soon."

She slipped a cool hand over the right side of my face and whispered the final plea of a mother sending her daughter into harms way, "Come back to me alive Raven."

I nodded slowly and bowed my head when she gently kissed my forehead and after I lingered in her presences for a moment I finally stepped away and gestured for Speedy and X to follow me out the door. I didn't dare turn around to gaze upon the torment of a worried mother's face, even though I heard Speedy softly try to quell Arella's concerns by saying, "She's in good hands."

Sweet of him … but assuring my protection isn't what's going to slate my mother's worry.

I slipped out of my room and with the skirt of my dress bellowing behind me I lead X and Speedy through the grand halls of the Temple Azar down into the dungeon where the catacombs' entrance to the Temple was located.

--

The city was bustling with life murmurs of voices filled the clean crisp air unpolluted with vehicles and the like, it was a slow pace, everyone pretty much knew everyone, and no one thought twice about being cheated, scammed, or threatened, it was a very relaxed environment. An obvious culture-shock for the two following me out of the silent (due to the fact neither X nor Speedy made an effort to converse with one another) and safety (I made sure they kept their weapons at a hold when it seemed their silent tension was coming to a boil) of the secret tunnels which spider-webbed under the very streets we now traveled on. The usually quick-witted and sharp-tongued duo were comically silenced and seemed to have a hard time keeping up since they kept getting distracted by their new livelier surroundings.

I almost felt funny knowing that they were the only people from the outside world to ever see my home, almost. I was still worried about their wellbeing, so much so that once we went topside from the tunnels I stole a few cloaks dangling over head and forced them to wear it with their hoods up before we traversed the open main street. I donned one myself and through the shadow of my hood I glanced to my left when I felt X's fascination with the world around him turn to me as he shook his head in disbelief, "This place is just too weird …"

"You get use to it," I shrugged dryly.

He chuckled and shrugged himself as if to accept my bland explanation of things, his eyes once again trailing to the world around him as he asked, "So where is this chapel your mother was talking about and how long till we get there?"

"In the northeast sector of the city, furthest from the temple, we'll be able to make it there in a day's travel."

X reeled after I informed him of where and how far we'll be traveling in order to save Lucas's brother; he narrowed his eyes on me and hissed, "A _day's _travel on _foot? _What? No getaway car?"

I shot him a dry look, "Do the streets look big enough for a car, Drake? It's either walk, or fly and the last I checked neither you nor Speedy have any wings, so we're walking."

He growled in discontent, "You don't know any shortcuts?"

"The quickest way is to the follow the main-street, it cuts straight down the center of the city and we should arrive at this address no later than sundown."

The gears in his head ticked and tocked as he made his calculations, "Which means it'll probably take us another day to travel back to that palace, temple, place, whatever, and if I'm guessing correctly _another_ day to try and convince these monks to take the kid in am I right?"

I nodded, "So in total we'll have lost three days here and on Earth."

He growled, "Remind me to push Lucas off the tallest building in the city whenever the opportunity presents itself."

"I'll make it my primary mission in life." I sighed heavily and to my right Speedy scooted closer to me to stay with the group as a family of a mother, a father, and their daughter tried to squeeze passed us. No pleasantries were exchanged, but as we continued on our way I gasped when I felt my cape suddenly tugged on so tightly it choked me and my hood fell off. Out of reflex I cried out and stumbled back which alerted both X and Speedy. Speedy drew his bow and reached back to grab an arrow, while X grabbed the handle of his sword as we all spun around to see what had assaulted me.

I admit, I even thought that maybe a lingering Temple Guard had suspected something of the three of us and decided to see for himself who was under the sheets. However, when I happened to look down at the barely 5-year-old daughter who broke away from her father's grasp to smile up at me with a handful of my cloak I held up my hand to keep X's sword in his holster. Speedy, in turn, dropped his bow and relaxed the tension in his shoulders while I sighed heavily and refrained from scolding the child for grabbing onto strangers.

She giggled and played with my cloak while in perfect English she sang, "Pretty! Pretty! Dressed in blue! My name is Sarah, so who are you!"

I arched a brow and blinked away from the child to look up at her parents who stood watching her with amusement in their eyes … yeah … cute how they thought their daughter was cute. Do they do this often? Let their daughter's wander up to total and complete strangers never knowing that they might be a shady hero, a conniving thief, and a confused archer? _Very _smart of them. I sighed heavily again and picked up the girl as a gesture of good faith. She squirmed a bit in my arms, laughed some more, and reached up to point at the gem on my forehead, "Pretty lady is from the Temple!"

_Scream it to the heaven's kid, I don't think the Gods heard you, _I muttered inwardly while I played the roll of a lady of the court and smiled as lovely a smile as I could muster at the mother and father who bowed and curtseyed respectfully in my presences. I placed the girl down at their feet, but she kicked and wailed in my ear saying she didn't want me to put her down, so I was forced to stand back up with her still laughing in my ear. Her mother, shorter than me, but with kind and loving blue eyes, giggled, "She seems to have taken a fond liking to you Milady."

I looked at the girl who smiled a big grinned tooth grin at me and then blushed bright pink. She clutched me around my neck and buried her face in my bare shoulder, I smiled in adoration (or, at least I tried too without looking annoyed), "Children tend to cling to my person I suppose."

The mother inquired, "Do you have any of your own?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm afraid not."

"What a shame," she frowned and clasped a hand over her heart, "children are the light of the world, a darling present from the heavens I do say, would you not agree darling?"

Her husband nodded his head, "Our precious Sarah is our whole world."

I get the feeling they would have gone on and on and on about their precious little _Sarah _who was right now hiking up my skirt with all her squirming and wiggling, thankfully, Speedy played his roll perfectly and spoke up from behind me, "Uh … your … um … your grace, the matter can't wait."

'_Your grace?' Nice save … _I thought and turned back to the mother, "I have more pressing matters to attend to, so, if you will …"

"Oh! Yes! Of course!" The mother gasped and jumped at attention to try and help me pry the girl off my hip, "Sarah, honey, time to say goodbye to Lady …?"

"Rachel, Rachel of Azarath."

The mother and father bowed at the mention of my name before the mother pulled the pouting Sarah off me, "Sarah, please sweetie, let's not be difficult."

"I want to go home with Lady Rachel!"

I waved them off to deal with their whining child and quickly turned my back on them to hurriedly escape down the street with an irritated huff. X and Speedy kept pace, but in an effort to remain in character they stayed a step behind me until the crowd finally disbursed and we could breathe our own air again, but I didn't slow down. I remained walking at a set pace, a tad faster than the people around us, but not so fast as to call attention to ourselves. We needed to get out of the public eye, every second we remained surrounded by people left a window of opportunity for a man or woman or child loyal to the Temple Guards to report us. That is to say if they hadn't already and we were now just being watched.

It was either that, or I was getting paranoid.

I heaved a heavy sigh and pulled my hood up over my head so my face could remain in shadow, I felt safer there.

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, or Azarath, or Arella, DC owns them … duh, but I do own the other characters!!**

**A/N: BARE WITH ME!! This is the last boring chapter you all have to deal with, the next one (to me anyway) is when things get a little more fun!! So just hold on, cuz we're almost through – with the Azarath bit … not the whole story … yeah … um … imma shut up now … =) oh, and I gotz nuthin' against Irish-folk, jus wanted to clear that bit up too, I kinda thought well since they were going on and on about clovers and lucky-charms (which BTW I don't own either) I might as well roll with it ... so yeah, jus so we're clear and stuff. **

**L8er daez!!**


	28. It's Complicated

**A/N: Wow, apparently a **_**lot**_** of you have problems with the route I took in 'creating' my version of Azarath, and it seems like I have to defend myself once more. First off, I know what you all are talking about, I myself don't very much like it when something doesn't follow the correct order of things, it irritates the crap out of me. However, I don't very much appreciate being shouted at and corrected when I **_**know**_** the DC version of Azarath is a pacifistic world and they don't like violence and I know of Raven's history. I know all of it okay, and if I sound irritated in anyway, the truth of the matter is, I am. **

**It's a story of **_**MY **_**imagination and the way I see it is this site allows us to share our imagination with the rest of the world and yes, I do appreciate **_**ALL **_**of your criticism, reviews, comments, and compliments. They all make writing this worth while, but when I'm nagged because of some change that really – to me – seems so minor compared to everything else I've written and everything else I've read. I feeling like I've been attacked for being some kind of ignorant git who hasn't done her homework. **

**I've done my homework, and I'm sorry if I discouraged **_**any**_** of you because of the decision I've made to alter Azarath's world, but I won't apologize for what I've done.**

**I'm done talking now, enjoy if you wish to continue …**

**--**

**Long Road to Ruin**

**It's Complicated**

_DONG!_

_DONG!_

_DONG!_

The church bells chimed and rang loudly in the empty streets now only occupied by those leaving their weekly mass and I never thought I'd be so happy to hear it too. It's been a long – _LONG _– day. We walked and didn't stop, not even for food (Arella had one big flaw in her plan: money) we had nothing to trade for in exchange for at least a canteen of water. X (though not without an argument from Speedy) with his devious talent of slight of hand had stolen us a few apples and pick-pocketed a small bottle of water. Both of which we finished not an hour ago before we reached the chapel, so fairly wary with tired feet and short tempers we approached the chapel just as the last church-attendee left the mass after having a word with their Father.

The priest, without having seen us, turned his back and headed into the church, yet just as we came under the streetlight I looked up and saw he was closing the massive doors. I gasped and rushed to stop him, "Wait! Father! _Wait!"_

X and Speedy were right on my heel as I scampered up the stairs to stop the priest from closing the second door, I all but slammed my body into it to stop it from swinging, X and Speedy came to my aid, but it was too heavy to stop. We pushed back and the priest, as if realizing the sudden resistance peeked around the door to see the blockage and gasped in earnest shock. He grabbed the edge of the heavy doors and with the force of four we pushed and pulled it back open till it slammed against the church wall and locked into place. Exhausted I stayed leaning against the door gasping for air while X sank to the floor, legs sprawled and head bowed looking like a dead puppet on a string panting for breath.

I sympathized with him and even (I think it was the exhaustion's doing) reached a hand down to smooth it over his hair, damp from sweat and warm from walking in the blazing sun, he pushed up against my hand as a weak response to my endearing gesture, but did nothing more. He was too tired to move, and I didn't blame him, all day of traveling to end in a brisk bolt to tackle a heavy door isn't exactly the ideal way to end a long – _LONG _– day. So I turned away from him when I heard the priest – having safely backed away from the door before it crushed him – shuffle around to look upon us with a gaze of wonderment.

As if we were the bloody miracle of the Virgin Mary (this was a Catholic church after all) herself. I sighed heavily and turned around from leaning cheek-to-door to properly face the priest who donned his traditional all black suit and white collar. He seemed to be as old, if not a decade older than my mother and also looked to have seen a great many miracles and tragedies in his lifetime. He was, to my surprise anyway, cleanly shaven with short neatly kept pitch-black hair and if I squinted my eyes he looked a _lot _like Lucas if he aged as normally as a human would. I blinked and shook my head, _Impossible, this guys a priest … don't they practice celibacy?_

He smiled awkwardly (who'd know what to do with themselves when a few young people like us burst through a church with such urgency?) at us, but it was a genuine smile nonetheless that formed in his kind black eyes first than his lips as he bowed politely, _"Fahnenrina Azarce _–"

He was about to go on with his greeting when X growled, "English, please, I'm way too fuuuuuuhhhhh …" he caught himself, and sighed heavily as he looked up at the priest with droopy amber eyes, "I'm tired, okay … so … yeah …"

The priest bowed again, "Fair enough, you lot look like you've traveled quite a ways to get here …" he eyed us all suspiciously and tilted his head when he finally took in the fact that Speedy and X were Temple Guards and assessed that I must have been escorted from the palace. He looked to me knowing that I must have been the leader of such a small entourage and asked, "What might I do you for your grace?"

I sucked in a deep breath, fixed my persona up and with my head held high (while X picked himself up off the floor to stand beside me like Speedy was doing but struggling to do so without falling flat on his ass) I answered the priest, "We're here in search of a man by the name of Clarence Zarni, the matter is of our own business and the weight of its urgency cannot be put on hold. Do you know of such a man?"

The priest straightened his back, frowned quite a bit, but otherwise said, "I am the man of whom you seek, Father Zarni at your service."

I blinked and tried not to look so taken a back, but I was … did I hear that right?

X, with a bluntly pointed finger stated in disbelief, _"You're _Lucas's father?!"

Speedy went on to pay tribute to St. Obvious, "You're a priest!"

_Father _Zarni held up his hands in defense, "No, no, you misunderstand; _Prince _Lucas is my nephew and the son of my older twin brother _King _Terrance."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, why did that name sound so familiar?

X shook his head, his mind still trying to catch up with the unbelievable, _"Prince? _Prince of what?"

Father Zarni sighed heavily and responded cryptically, "He is the rightful heir to a throne of a world I shall not speak of due to its exclusive nature of strict no-outside contact … but, if you know of Lucas … than you must be sent here from Lady Arella for young Marcus."

"Rajeer …" I whispered, Father Zarni's composure stiffened when I said the name and his kind black eyes turned to me, pleading for me to say no more, but I had to be sure I was right, "King Terrance of Zarni Rajeer … his arrival on Azarath was celebrated … but the reason for such a visit was never known …" I narrowed my eyes on Father Zarni and he looked away from me when I said, "He came to the monks because Lucas killed his wife didn't he?"

Father Zarni glared, "Lies … Lucas never killed his mother, she died because her life-energy could take no more abuse from the constant spells and rituals she put herself through in order to bear a demonically-gifted child." He closed his eyes as whatever painful memory of the past resurfaced and in good sport he swallowed the pill back down and sighed, "My brother was devastated … he blamed Lucas for her death even though she managed to give him what he wanted.

"Dear Darling never wanted such a fate handed to her child, and poor Lucas did not even know what to think of his own being. He began to distort reality from the cruel lies my brother told him. I couldn't watch him suffer any longer, so _I _in my brother's place took Lucas to the Temple Azar, but, Lucas was already too far gone. He ran away thinking I kidnapped him from his beloved family … and … I suppose he learned the truth the hard way because the last I heard from Rajeer was Castle Zarni had been burnt to the ground."

Father Zarni shook his head slowly as if the memory of hearing such news still shocked him, "I thought my brother had surely died … but when news of my immediate beheading reached me I knew my brother must have thought I sent Lucas after him in an attempt to usurp his throne. So here I've remained for eight years, estranged from all that I once knew, until Marcus appeared at my doorstep."

Speedy frowned, _"Appeared? _You mean he just walked up your steps knowing who you were?"

Father Zarni's face contorted into that of uneasiness, his face drifted from the wide open door, down the empty aisle leading straight to the alter where beautifully crafted statues of the divine miracle, saints, and angels stood. Striking, elegant, and beautiful, the structure itself was quaint, simple in its design, but made its point with its dark brown polished pews, white marble floors, and large roman pillars lining the outer-sides of the pews. Yet, one thing was for sure … there was no one around, it was completely empty, and the only reason why our voices weren't bouncing off the walls like ricocheting bullets was because we were closest to the open door.

However, Father Zarni was not going to take that chance and lowered his voice so it was barely above a whisper, "I believe we've discussed quite enough in the open, let us find more suitable shelter."

He quickly shuffled about to again try to close the large church door, but this time Speedy and X were there to help him, and as soon as they placed their hands on the door a young childlike voice echoed throughout the chapel, "That'll be unnecessary," Everyone jumped at attention, everyone excluding Father Zarni who continued on to push the door closed even as Speedy and X searched for the mysterious voice that appeared out of the blue. They didn't have to look far, for in the middle of the aisle dressed in the black and white robes of an alter-boy was a little boy eight years of age with pale white skin and colorless white eyes. His pitch-black silky straight hair in stark contrast to his flesh, and his haunting voice filled the church with a ghost-like wisp that sent a chill down my spine, "The nuns have all gone to their convents for evening vespers; we have the church all to ourselves Father."

_I didn't even sense his approach … _I frowned at that thought, was I really getting that bad? To test the theory I spread out my aura and found that I could hardly feel X's or Speedy's auras when they stood right beside me, which meant the church itself must have been enchanted. Wonder why?

Father Zarni chuckled as he finally closed the door with a resonating _THUNK, _but didn't lock it as he turned to smile at the child, "That may be the case, but better safe than sorry."

With a quick glance from the priest to the child I stated what I figured to be correct, "You're Marcus, aren't you …"

The child turned his head to me and with a slow blink he said, "I am milady, and I've been expecting you."

That line … so over used by many a badass villain, a creepy nutter, and an even creepier kid, but _this _kid _owned _that line. He took it to a whole 'nutha level that no one I know of as of yet could touch him, Father Zarni snapped me out of my stare when he swept himself in between us to stand behind Marcus as he placed his hands on his shoulders and said with a smile, "Marcus is … somewhat special, he can see into the future."

I frowned, _'somewhat' _was putting it lightly, that was a rare ability to be born with, "How far?"

"When the decision is final, then I know," Marcus informed and I shuddered, he really was Lucas's brother … er … _half-_brother, they were both skin-crawling.

Father Zarni elaborated, "What he means to say is he can only see into the future of those who've made a critical decision that could ultimately alter their current lifestyle."

I looked to Marcus, "Can you see into your own future?"

He shook his head, "My blind sight."

Speedy inquired, "So you are blind?"

Marcus's head turned to Speedy and he tilted it, "I can see you as clearly as if you see yourself in the mirror … my mother's eyes are white, and she will stop at nothing to see me returned to her. So I hope you're ready for the coming trials."

Father Zarni patted him on the shoulder and turned him around to push him down the aisle, "Okay Marcus, that's about enough of that, now why don't you set up what rooms we have left and see to it that the tea is nice and hot."

Marcus did so without protest, robotically even, "Yes Father."

As he walked down the aisle X shivered, "That kid has _got _to play more video-games."

Speedy shot him a dry look while he asked, "What did he mean by trials? Does he know something we don't?"

Father Zarni sighed heavily, "Apparently he has a feeling his mother is searching for him in the city, and I don't take that feeling lightly, he could be right and I fear for his safety if he should remain here, but also if he should venture outside of these walls. It is the only place where he and any other demon aura can be concealed so to protect the identities of those who wish to worship in peace."

_Oh, now the enchantment makes sense, _I thought in satisfaction, but X arched a confused brow, "Demons worship the very God that damned them to an eternity in Hell?"

I sighed, "It's strange, but then again …" I looked to X, "What was a demon before the fall?"

Father Zarni smiled gently, in understanding as he gestured for us to follow him, "Come, it is far more comfortable underground."

We followed him through the church towards the room Marcus disappeared in, but Father Zarni paused before the alter, did the sign of the cross, bowed and with his hands clasped in prayer before him continued on his way. I just so happened to glance at my right and stopped in mid-step myself when I saw X raise from the floor after bowing on his right knee. He had just finished crossing himself when he looked in my direction and froze as if he'd been caught in the middle of a breaking in. It had never occurred to me what religion X was, or if he even _believed _in any one or thing besides Lady Luck.

He trailed his eyes to the ground and tried to act like it all didn't matter, but when he reached my side I whispered, "And to think you're a catholic … I never would have guessed."

He huffed in exasperation and ran his left hand down the length of his face as he hissed under his breath trying not to be heard by the smiling priest (who saw it all) and the curious archer (who was actually suspicious), "Ahh … my mother made me into an alter-boy when I was around that kid's age and I attended CCD classes till I was in the eighth grade. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? You don't seem the religious type."

He scoffed, "I'm not …" he then shrugged and looked down at me with his trademark smirk, "but you gotta believe in something."

"… I suppose …"

Clarence Zarni lead us through a small backroom with a simple cot, four white walls, a writing desk propped against a bay-window, and a crucifix nailed to the wall, in conclusion I could only guess the room was his. Plain, boring, no luxury whatsoever, and so his teachings go, neither of us bothered to mention it as he lead us through another door. This one held a set of spiral stone steps that took us down under the church where a long old stone hall lit by paper lanterns cast a warm eerie glow on the walls. It made our shadows stretch and tower over us like dark angels sent from beyond to either look out for our wellbeing or destroy us.

I was leaning more towards the wellbeing part if only to allow myself a little comforting lie.

The priest took us to the second door to our left where lit by numerous candles, lanterns and a toasty warm fireplace made the small eating-area appear almost homely. Speedy sat down on one of the wooden chairs Father Zarni gestured to as he excused himself to check on Marcus's progress with our tea and sleeping arrangements. I sighed and unclipped my cape which had grown heavy and hot in the warmth of the fireplace where I sat closest and waited patiently for Father Zarni's return. Yet, not a minute after his departure did Speedy suddenly say, "I don't trust this place."

X scoffed, "What's not to trust? It's a frickin' church for crying out loud."

We ignored him as I turned to Speedy, "I don't sense any immediate danger Speedy, what are you thinking?"

He ran his hands over his short orange-red hair highlighted by the fire's warm glow, his green eyes darkened by the shadows cast over the walls, on the floors, and at the door … I think I can understand where his paranoia was coming from, "It's what the preacher said … something about the kid being right about his father coming after him."

"It's his mother," I corrected, "Marcus is a half-demon, his mother is the demon and demonic mothers are vicious if they have it in their heads that their child is in any danger."

X added his two senses, "Well, after the story we heard of Sir Kingly Asshole, who's to say he didn't bend the truth here and there and from what I understand that kid came here on his own."

That made sense; I narrowed my eyes and asked Speedy, "So what are you purposing?"

"We leave tonight, while we have darkness on our side and while anyone who might have been watching us least expects it."

I frowned, "Speedy, this isn't Earth, darkness is not on our side here, it's safer to travel in daylight, in the middle of a crowd where we won't be attracting too much attention."

"Have you seen that kid? He'll be attracting attention left and right if we leave in broad daylight."

I glanced at X when I noticed he wasn't protesting, but rather contemplating it, I stared at him slack-jawed in disbelief, "You agree with him?"

He looked up at me and shrugged, "It makes senses, plus we'll have the added bonus of no foot-traffic, so we can run the marathon without anyone the wiser."

Unbelievable!

I should have known they'd agree to do something so stupid!

I shook my head and put my foot down, "No, we're not doing it. I know this place better than either one of you and when I say daylight is safer, trust me on that. I'm not doing it to be precautious I'm doing because it's a necessity!"

Speedy sighed, "What's to be afraid of?"

"For one the Temple Guards find the nighttime prowl more enticing to stalk anyone breaking the law, and another is the inhuman civilians that live here roam the streets at night and they are not as friendly as the ones we've encountered earlier today." I scooted closer to him and repeated his very own words back to him with a little twist of my own, "Azarath isn't as fair as Steel City. If you're human and you're traveling the streets in the middle of the night chances are you're either incredibly stupid, or a suspect in some kind of investigation, which we are. So I am not dragging that kid out there at night, understood?"

"…" Speedy glared at the fire.

"…" X stared blankly at the door.

Neither of them willing to go against my argument and that unsettled me, usually when they don't have anything to say, they're thinking of something to do and I couldn't have that. I placed a hand on Speedy's shoulder to grab his attention he shifted his dark green glare on me when through gritted teeth I growled, "Do I make myself clear?"

He stared down at me, both literally and figuratively before he sighed heavily and gave in, "Crystal."

I let him go and turned to X, "Drake," he glanced at me dryly, and I repeated myself, "Do I make myself clear?"

He blinked and shrugged, "As clear as glass."

I sneered, he knew glass wasn't always so clear seeing as it can be warped and shaped to obscure images and can even made into plexy form, _Smartass … _but before I could scold him Father Zarni and Marcus came into the small room. A tray of tea in Marcus's hands set in the middle of the table, he disbursed the plain white china and proceeded to pour as Father Zarni took his seat with a tired huff, "Oh dear, excuse what little I can offer, if I had known you'd be coming I would have prepared something a bit more suitable for your long travel."

"It's alright," I reassured the priest as I brought the cup to my lips, smelt the sweetness of the tea and sipped it, it was delicious, "I don't want to overstay our welcome, we'll be leaving at the first sign of dawn tomorrow."

Father Zarni frowned and set a hand on Marcus's shoulder when the boy sat beside him in the only available seat, "Why so soon? I know a few gentlemen, good folks that could help if only you could wait a bit longer."

I shook my head, "Time is not something we have, we're risking a lot already staying overnight."

"If you don't mind my asking, besides the apparent danger of Marcus's mother lurking about, what is your rush?"

"Before we ever heard of Marcus's predicament we were caught up in another matter back on Earth and the longer we stay here the more likely it is for that matter to escalate into something completely out of our control."

Marcus suddenly stood up from the table and bowed low, "I apologize for my inconvenience."

Father Zarni frowned and I suddenly felt bad for wording it the way I had, it did sound cruel, I sighed and put down my tea to hold out my hand to the boy, "Marcus, you have to understand that we don't perceive our business as being more important than you, but just like your life is in peril so are my friends'."

"I was being polite, I did not apologize out of self-pity or hatred, your business is your own and I don't very much care for it."

I blinked, _Okay … so I was wrong, _Marcus obviously understood the greater picture, I didn't know whether to be impressed for a child of his age, or concerned since _no _child of his age should be subjected to such an adult-way of looking at things. It's what made me as screwed up as I am today, but that's not to say Marcus would end up the same way or worse, for all I know he could have his head on straighter than myself. I just … didn't like the idea of a child not growing up being a child … I guess it was because of my lacking childhood that gave me this mindset, but the point still stands. Marcus was very old for his age.

Probably even too straightforward for Father Zarni's tastes for he tugged on the boy's arm and scolded, "Don't be rude Marcus, she and her friends are still here out of the kindness of their hearts, show more gratitude."

He bowed as another gesture of apology and then shuffled to the door, "As a show of gratitude I shall show you all to the rooms I have prepared for you, if you'll only follow me."

He left out the door and X shook his head, "Like I said, more video-games, that kid is too tightly wound for my tastes preacher-man."

Father Zarni glanced at X and smiled grimly, "Yes, I must agree, I can only imagine what my brother has put the poor child through in his young years, but never mind that, please, go, you must be exhausted. The robes I had Marcus lay out for you to wear in your short time here might not be to your liking, but it is all I have to offer."

I stood up and offered the wary priest a small shadow of a smile cast only in the flicker of the fire in the fireplace, "You've already done enough Zarni, we can take it from here."

He took small comfort in my assurance and like the walking dead Speedy and X followed my graceful stride out the room back into the lantern lit hall where Marcus (still in his alter boy uniform) ushered us further down the hall till we reached one door to our left. He gestured to it, but didn't specify who should take it, so X in his hurry to crash and burn on a bed didn't argue or protest and all but ran through the door to plop face down on the low cot. Marcus then led us a bit further down and to my right he made another gesture to a door and said, "This will be yours Miss Raven."

I thanked him and just before I slipped into the small quaint room I wished Speedy a goodnight and closed the wooden door behind me. Leaning on it as I latched the lock I closed my eyes and sighed tiredly, delighted that I was given a bed to sleep on, but cautious of the fact that I didn't have the luxury to actually relax. What with Marcus's warning, the priest's feelings X and Speedy still lingering about and on ill-terms, I had too much on my plate to leave alone, and … I also forgot my cloak back in the other room. With a light curse that left my lips I turned around, unlatched the lock, and as soon as I flung the door open to leave I stopped dead in my tracks when Speedy stood out in the hall.

He was directly in front of my door with a fist poised for the knocking and his green eyes looked about as shocked as I was to find him at my door, I arched a suspicious brow, "What are you doing here?"

He blinked, took a moment to collect himself and shrugged, "Where were you going?"

I rolled my eyes and tried to push him out of my way, "I am not in the mood for mind games right now Speedy, so why don't you –" His hand shot out to stop me from leaving my own room and he pressed the palm flat on the door frame, I glared at it in irritation then huffed and narrowed my eyes up at him when I saw that he wasn't going to let me go, "What's this about?"

Speedy lowed his face closer to me and whispered, "We need to have a serious talk, right now, while your _influence _is passed-out on his cot."

I sneered, "You? Having a serious conversation with _moi_? There's a shocker Bumble Bee will never believe."

He scowled, "I get it, your hilarious, ha, ha, the world bows before your greatness, _your grace."_

"Coming from you, I could get use to that."

"_Raven …"_

I growled in defeat and stepped away from the door as I threw my hands up in agitation, "Fine!"

Speedy came in, and shall I note he looked quite pleased with himself.

I never wanted to kick him so badly as I do now, but I resisted temptation like a good little saint and sat down on my bed, the fabric of my dress bellowing out around me, fluttering like weightless paper before it settling in its place. I placed my hands on my lap and waited for Speedy to close my door and come to my bed where he too found a spot to sit across from me, facing me, and still looking smug. I counted to ten in my head to keep myself from slapping it off his face when I realize I was actually being _very _hostile tonight … I chalked it up to the exhaustion talking and decided to try and calm down.

Speedy needed to have a _'serious' _conversation with me, and right off the bat I already knew who it was about before he ever opened his mouth and said, "Robin's gonna have your head when he finds out you've been seeing _Red X _behind his back …"

I rolled my eyes and held up a finger, "One, you have no proof Drake is who you _think _he is," I held up another finger, "Two, word of mouth will only get you so far," I held up my third finger, "and three, I'm _not _seeing him."

The archer's eyes darkened "And I'm not stupid, you can't lie your ass off by saying otherwise this time Raven, not when I can see what's really going on."

I frowned, "This isn't about confirming if whether or not you're really going to put Drake in prison is it?"

He shot me a dry look, "You said so yourself, word of mouth will only get me so far, it'll be stupid to try and purse a case that needs him to confess and he ain't going to confess shit if he knows he can get away with it and I bet you already knew that too."

I tilted my head, totally unfazed, "If this is not about the technicalities of Drake and my future than I don't see the point in this conversation … unless you want to talk about what it is you _think _that's going on between the two of us, in which case I have to say that's none of your business."

"It became my business when I had to cover your ass for sneaking around."

Low blow, I stood up, he followed my example and I pinned him to the far wall of my small room with one of my infamous cold glares, "I never asked for you to cover my ass, and I don't need you to start looking out for me either, so quit trying to save me from something that you think is a grave mistake that _I've _made, I can fix it on my own."

"I'm not trying to save you from anything; I'm just trying to understand. If you're willing to defend him, lie to your friends for him, and trust him with your very life … why is it that you're afraid of admitting that you're together when it's so frickin' obvious that the feeling's mutual where he's concerned." He shook his head in confusion, "What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing! I don't …" I huffed in exasperation and plopped back down on my bed in defeat, how do I say it, how can I put it so he can understand that I really, _really, _don't love him. Words failed me and I ended up just repeating what I've been saying, "I don't love him Speedy …" I looked up at him while he watched me closely and I shrugged, "I don't … I really don't know what this is … I can't call it a friendship because it's deeper than that, and I can't call him my _boyfriend_ (I choked somewhat for saying that word) because then that'll imply some form of ownership and … a guy like him … he can't be owned."

I brought my face down into my hands to hide my shame when I realized that I was actually opening up to Speedy and it brought a light embarrassed blush on my face. Honestly. _Speedy?!_ Of all the men … why him? I shook my head and muttered only loud enough for him to strain to hear, "I really, _really _care about him, and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I was without him … like I said … it's complicated …"

The bed moved, he sat back in his place beside me, facing me, and I was still too embarrassed to look at him, so I stared melancholy at the ground as I took in the words I had just said. They were all true, and once I said it out loud I noticed how crazy it sounded and how ridiculous the confusion of it all was. I should be locked up in a padded room! I almost expected Speedy to say what I was thinking, but when he sighed heavily and chuckled I figured he was just going to berate me. So I braced for it when I glanced at him through the corner of my eye as I sat up straight and pulled the tail of my braid over my shoulder to undo it. The tightness of which my mother tucked it in was beginning to give me a headache (and I was starting to suspect that it had something to do with my sudden outburst).

Speedy scooted closer to me and placed a friendly hand on my shoulder, I stiffened, but didn't shake it off as he said, "It sucks to be you …" I scowled at him, he removed his hand to hold it up in his defense, "But based on what you've told me he sounds like the kinda guy that just grows on you suddenly, like a … like a … like a tumor."

I leaned away from him stare at him dryly which he returned with a shrug while I rolled my eyes, "Well … even though this supposedly benign tumor –"

"I never said he was benign, he could be cancerous and you might need emergency surgery to remove him before he spreads."

I sneered and picked up where I left off, _"Might _be a good thing … good things don't last forever …"

He scowled playfully and hopped away from me so he could see all of me, "You are a very bleak girl ya know that …"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm a huge fan of this little thing called logic and common sense I live and breathe it. Besides, I'm a Titan … relationships just don't … work …"

"Have you tried telling that to Rob and Star?"

I huffed and shook my head in exasperation, "They're delusional – no, _she's _delusional, Robin's just going along for the ride and I mean that literally and figuratively."

"Cold." He snickered, "That's very cold Raven, but this guy … he doesn't seem to care who you are …"

I frowned, "Which is the problem; he doesn't get how dangerous I am to him."

"What's to be dangerous if he's on the good side?"

I scowled, "He's not on any one side."

"He may not be, but who's side are _you _on?"

"Last time I checked this isn't dodge-ball, why do I have to pick sides?"

He shrugged and stood up, "To me, Rae, you don't … but _that guy_ is a different story. He's _really _into you, and at some point in time he's gonna wanna know where you stand and trust me when I say being friends is the last thing he's gonna wanna hear."

I chewed on my lower lip and furrowed my brows when I remembered X saying almost the exact same thing Speedy was suggesting. I had almost forgotten about it actually, and now I felt bad for not really putting much thought into. I sighed and threw myself on my bed when the thought of how deep I had trekked into this messy vat of chaotic emotions made me wary. My arms sprawled all around me with the sleeves of my gown and my unfinished unbraided hair tossed to the side as I stared up at the small white dome-like ceiling with nothing but the single candle at my bedside lighting the tiny room. I muttered, "Damned if you do … damned if you don't …"

I bounced ever so slightly when Speedy threw himself so he was lying beside me with his hands tucked under his head and a cool smile whipped across his lips. I glared at him while he winked at me with his pretty green eyes, "Damn it all if you can't win either way."

With an arched brow I propped myself up on my elbow so I could stare down at him with narrowed eyes as I shook my head, "I don't get you."

He cocked his head and blinked, "What's not to get? I'm a guy."

I scoffed, "You're a hero –"

"I'm still human."

"With freakishly incredible archery skills –"

"Flattery? From you? Why thank you, that means a lot."

"And an innate talent for attracting whatever girl you want –"

"Well I wouldn't say _whatever _girl I want –"

"Why would you waste your time trying to impress me and belittle Drake?"

"I don't have to _belittle _him, he does that well on his own," He snorted condescendingly, but then sighed heavily and closed his eyes so instead of looking impatient or irritated he seemed relaxed and collected. Even when he opened his eyes and scooted away from me so he could see me a little better with his head cocked, "I'm not trying to impress you Raven, I know that doesn't work on you … and why would it be a waste of my time to be with a girl I like?"

"Well that's it …" I growled and sat up, he followed suit while I still glared at him, "That's the part I don't get … why me?"

"Did you ask the other guy why he likes you? Why he bothers to be with you?"

"I'm asking _you."_

"Well, there's no other way to say it Raven, you're different."

I scowled, "So is every other girl."

He shook his head, "No, every other girl is _every other girl_, so put it this way: you _hate _being treated _like_ a girl. You hate to be cared for, and for some reason can't stand it when a guy tells you you're beautiful, – which you are by the way – and my favorite part of you that I really like is that you can see through the bullshit. You can strip a badass like Red X straight to the core and be able to see him for something I can't believe him to be … a good guy."

Flattering, all of it was flattering, but I still frowned and looked away when he missed one, "That's not all true you know …"

"… Enlighten me."

"I can't see through the bullshit like you think I do … at first glance, that's what you are to me … and I don't care if you're something different so long as you don't get in my way …" that sounded awful now that I said it out loud … was I really that much of a bitch?

"Then why stay with X?"

"_Drake."_

"Whatever, answer the question."

I rolled my eyes, "If I knew that, Speedy, I wouldn't be in this mess right now …"

Suddenly, an evil smirk played on his lips, "Well, maybe it's like I thought it was, maybe you're just into the bad-boys and you can't get any badder than the infamous Red X."

I scowled and stood up, "Okay, you know what; you overstayed your welcome, time for you to go."

He stayed sitting on my bed chuckling as he shrugged, "Aww, come on, there's gotta be some truth to it right? The danger, the mystery, the _intrigue, _it turns you on doesn't it."

The arrogant oaf, now he was just being an ass and I didn't feel like dealing with it now, so I reached down and grabbed a fist full of his tight shirt (scratching his hard chest muscles by accident) and tried to yank him off my bed, but he wouldn't budge so I leaned down with a dark scowl, "Fine, so I'm attracted to the danger, I suppose that leaves no room for good-boys like you to remain sitting on my bed, taking up my space, and breathing my air, now get up."

He brought his hands to my hands to try and loosen my grip while he chuckled in my face, "And who says just because I'm a Titan that makes me a good-boy?"

I tightened my hold on his shirt when I felt him try to pry off my fingers, "You take orders, do as you're told, and stand in a neat little line like the rest of the toy-soldiers Robin gets to play with. You're as good as good can get _Nancy boy._"

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him, almost pulling me on his lap, but I stood my ground, even if that meant standing bent over him with my legs on either side of his right knee. I scowled at his playful grin, when he mockingly growled, "Take that back."

"Truth hurts?"

"I'm gonna count to three and if you don't take that back this little soldier's gonna break rank."

_He's bluffing, _I sneered, "I'll have you court marshaled before you can ever lay a hand on me."

"_One … _try me …"

I let go of his shirt and tried to pull away, but he held onto my wrists and kept me close to him, I growled, "Speedy, this isn't funny anymore."

"Take it back … _two …"_ He was really insisting on playing this game.

"You don't scare me."

"_Two and a half … _you're asking for trouble Mary."

I jerked my hands to get away from him, but he still wouldn't let me go and I was too stubborn to back down, "Do your worst."

"You asked for it," he lifted me, as weightless as a feather, and all but body slammed me on my own bed, I held my breath and prepared for whatever punishment he had in store for me. Honestly, I actually expected him to kiss me … what with his boldness in his pursuit of me despite now knowing my close relation to X; I thought he'd try to implant the idea that he could be just as worthy of my affection as the thief.

I braced for it, but instead I felt his fingers crawl all along my sides trying to _tickle_ me. I rolled my eyes, and just when he gave me enough room to contort my body in such a way that I could tuck my legs close to my chest. I kicked him off me with enough force that sent him flying across the room landing flat on his ass with a goofy grin on his face.

I sat up and tried to persevere what little modesty I had left by pulling down my dress and fixing my rumbled hair, "You're an idiot."

He sat up and laughed a sad laugh, "Wow, you're not ticklish? You're _sad!"_

"And you're an idiot."

"You already said that."

"I was emphasizing it."

In one fluid motion he hopped off the ground back on his feet, I got to mine as well and marched to the door, yet halfway there Speedy said, "I can see myself out ya know."

With my hand on the handle I jerked it open and over my shoulder I shot him a dark glare, "I'm not doing it for you, I forgot something in the other room and was going to go retrieve it before you decided to act like a stark raving _idiot._"

I stepped out in the hall and through the corner of my eye I saw X's door had been closed, but not all the way, it was cracked open and I could see the dim light from his candle shining through. I noted it while I waited for Speedy to get out of my room so I could close my door, but he paused before me and stared at me in disbelief, "Wow, you are just no fun, kinda sucks that I dish out the punishment and in the end I'm the one that leaves here with a bruised ass."

"You're fault." I said with a shrug.

He shook his head, "Doesn't feel right, I might just have to get even with you."

I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time since this conversation started, "I'll be sure to grow eyes in the back of my head."

He moved aside and out into the hall, a graceful move that I thought nothing of as I reached around him to grab at my door. Yet, just as I slipped my fingers around the handle Speedy swept me up in his arms the sudden move made me grip the handle of the door tightly and I didn't let it go until I heard the resonating _SLAM _that echoed throughout the hall. My hand slipped from the door and didn't know what to do with itself while a gasp was jammed at the back of my throat when I felt his lips against mine and my head went light with sensation, but not shock.

No, this did not shock me, I have been expecting something like this from Speedy, but now that I felt how deliciously inviting his lips were I had to wonder if maybe I secretly wanted this to happen. Maybe if only to see if I would react differently between a hero and a villain, maybe it was just because I was curious, or maybe there was no reason whatsoever, maybe I wanted the kiss just to have it. Despicable of me, yes, but that was the ugly truth, granted this wasn't right on so many different levels I did make an effort to push myself away from him if only out of the fear that someone (X) might see us.

Speedy, however, held me tightly and my mouth moved with his when he slowly opened it.

I braced for him to take what he wanted from me, and even slackened my resistance to ride out the pleasure, but even as he tilted my head back and moved his lips against mine I shuddered when I found myself actually relishing in the anticipation. He wasn't in a rush, he was taking his time – not teasing me – he was _enjoying _me and he wanted me to enjoy it too. I did, I was, I _am _enjoying it, and damn me to Hell for wanting him to deepen it. I considered taking the initiative, to go with my instincts and take up the dominant roll, but when our lips came together again, I lost my chance.

He barely pulled away from me; I could still feel the heat of his breath pooling over my neck, his fingers gently dug into my hip not wanting to hold me too tightly, but not wanting to let me go either, probably as a gesture of good-faith. Simply to show me that though he wanted to state a blunt point, he didn't want to scare me by being _too_ blunt, if only he'd known X wasn't as much of a gentleman, and neither was Malchior.

All they wanted from me, they took ruthlessly and without remorse, they weren't afraid to show me pointblank how much they were physically attracted to me and though I liked people when they're straightforward … this … this was … nice. Different, but Speedy still had the (for the lack of a better word) balls to take what he wanted, and he did it still conscious of the fact that he wasn't the only one getting something out of it. My stupid hands that didn't know what to do with themselves not too long ago had found themselves on his forearms.

I held onto him for a little longer as I looked into his longing-filled jade eyes with a glazed over stare myself. I wasn't stupefied, or shocked, or even appalled with what I had done, I was just … _confused. _I always said I never liked _nice, _but now I'm beginning to think that's because I never knew what nice was. Still a bit dazed I bowed my head from him to stare distantly at his chest while my mind went into overdrive. I was aware of his grip on my hip loosening so they rested casually on my person, relaxed, comfortable, as if I myself had given him permission to hold me in such a familiar manner.

I gave no such permission, but I still had to think, to sort things out and worrying about where his hands might wonder wasn't the priority right now. What was was the burning question taking the forefront of my brain that I just needed an answer to. So, still staring distantly at nothing I quietly asked, "Are you satisfied with just that …?"

He had to lean down in order to hear me, I waited for his response and damn him for being so honest, he responded by bringing those accursed lips close to my ear to say, "You know I won't be."

Somehow I knew he was going to say that, I guess I stupidly wanted to believe he wouldn't. I closed my eyes and with a heavy sigh I shook my head slowly from side to side and slipped away from the warmth of his arms to stand apart from him, "You're not making things easier for me … Roy …"

He stepped forward in an attempt to console me, but I stepped away from him and he huffed in frustration, "I don't mean to complicate things for you, I –"

"Well you are," I glared at him and as I gathered up my next group of words to produce a sentence, in the dead tense silence of the hall I heard a door creek, immediately my eyes went to the one door I knew was still left open and much to my dismay I saw it close. Nothing … nothing could have been louder or more damning than the silent _click _of the latch locking from the inside … _Drake … _I thought in despair. There was no question about it … he saw everything … _heard _everything … and I suddenly didn't know what to do with myself, other than to dive deep within myself and shut down completely.

Reality couldn't be real right now … I had to think … so quietly, without further argument from Speedy I bid him a final goodnight and went back into my room completely forgetting about my cloak.

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, Azarath, or Arella DC owns them, I do own Clarence, Terrance, Marcus, Lucas, and Darling, and the Temple guards … so, yeah, mine …**

**A/N: Alright, let me predict a 'WTF' line of questions that this chapter has evoked in the lot of you, lol … BE PATIENT, and don't worry I have this all planned out, it's not the end of the world (not that I'm aware of anyway). The Speedy/Raven scene has to happen in order for the story to progress where it has to go and besides for those of you who are somewhat fond of the pairing, it should be a treat =). **

**In the mean time, let's hope I didn't scare the rest of you away because of what has happened in this chapter (and of what I've done to Azarath), but it won't hurt my feelings either way. Thank you for following me thus far though, I feelz allz warmz and fuzziez insidez, LOVE YOU!!**

**L8er daez!!**


	29. My Girl

**Long Road to Ruin**

**My Girl**

Red X couldn't be defined as cut and dry, I couldn't just give him a yes or no answer; he always wants to know _why … _the kind of guy that won't let the subject go until his demands are met and then it becomes nothing more than a conversation to pass the time. The moment he hears the answer to the _why _factor, he doesn't care anymore, he dismisses it and substitutes my line of reasoning for his own line of logic. He will stop at nothing to break me down, analyze the pieces, then all but spit in my face by telling me the way I react and think is all in my head and I should get out more often (he's already done so anyway).

He, back then when we were still just talking to one another like complete strangers, he would start debates just to see what I would say then he would suddenly end the discussion to ask how whatever we were talking about made me _feel. _At first, it was a game to him, and I played along just to humor him. I'd tell him how I felt and then he'd berate me, probably empathize with me, and if I was lucky he'd agree with me. However, as the nights and days dragged on for hours at a time the game lost its humor when his jibs and cutting remarks began to get a little too personal.

I shut down, and as if he sensed it himself we revert back to the beginning when we'd talk about nothing in general and just sit around to enjoy each other's company. Actually … that's the way it's always been with us … once we grew a little too personal with one another we'd shrink away and start from scratch. It's worked for us … until now … now … it was different, we were getting very personal and he wasn't going to just let this go … what changed? For him, what changed? What had I done to ensnare him so, and how can I undo the spell?

I didn't sleep.

I couldn't … I had to know the answer to that question, how do I break whatever spell I had over X so he and I can move on with our lives without hurting one another. How do I let him go in order to protect him? I needed to know, by the Gods I needed to know this answer. I hovered over my bed meditating, trying to fine the answer to this question, submerging myself in darkness so I can search for a way out. Breathing evenly, the world around me fell away to numbness, peaceful nothingness, and ear shattering quietness, all I was aware of was my breathing … easy in … easy out … and repeat.

I delved deeper to become one with the world, to be aware of everything with-out rather than with-in, I was just in the process of transitioning when I felt a sharp burst of energy, but it was so faint one had to be in deep concentration as I was to feel it. However, it was unmistakable, I opened my eyes and glared at my door, someone had ripped open a portal into this dimension, and the portal was very close to this church. The energy spike didn't so much as disturb me as it did unnerve me, something about this rip felt urgent. Whoever was coming through was not here for a long stay and that bothered me.

It was because of these sudden rips the Temple Guards were established to begin with, there had been a sudden spike in dimensional travel since the popularity of the superhero business had gone up. It had only been fairly recent for the Temple Guards and _only _the guards to be allowed to carry weapons for the protection of the citizens of Azarath. Only a few people were carefully selected to become a guard, mental stability, undying loyalty, and the mastery in the magic arts were requirements of the job. There are also a rare few who've been in the program since childhood, bred from early age to become a masterful Guard, they were given life lessons and sometimes received tutorage from the monks themselves to better understand the world around them.

I remember, when I was a child, on several occasions when I felt like walking the courtyards with my mother by my side I'd catch glimpses of these classes, but the Temple Guard who'd watch over us would direct us away from the other kids. At one point in my life I had looked on with envy at how they were allowed to learn _together _as one single class. I wanted to be apart of that class instead of being sealed away in a room with my studies all by myself, with no one but my mother sitting in the corner watching me. Yet, as the years progressed, I outgrew that envy and instead looked on at the classes with little less than interest and more or less as a glance of acknowledgement.

I was different, they were different, but I didn't hate or envy them anymore.

I just didn't care, they had there duties to attend to, and I had mine.

So long as they grew up to be as respectable and even-tempered as the Guards assigned to escort me around the courtyard I was fine with them. However, if I had known they'd grow up to be so good at their jobs as I hoped they'd be I would have tried to at least cause a little bit of trouble in their studies, because the five guards X, Speedy, and I went up against were way better than good, they were deadly.

Needless to say, if I was able to senses this temporal rip, who's the say a nearby Guard didn't feel it for themselves? If any trouble came this way this church was done for. I had to make sure whatever came through the portal wasn't going to spell disaster for the rest of us. So I floated off my bed and gently touched my feet to the ground. I straightened out the dress I was still wearing; I didn't see the need to change into the robe since I knew I wasn't going to be sleeping any time soon. Halfheartedly I combed my fingers through my hair and exited my room, silently so as not to disturb anyone who might have already fallen asleep.

I glanced up and down the hall to be sure no one else was around then slipped out of my room and closed the door behind me. Speedy's door was closed and his light was out, the oil lanterns were still on in the halls and helped to guide me towards the stairs back into the church. I was just about passed X's room when I noticed his door was cracked open and his candle was out. I frowned in concern and approached the door, this was probably not a very good idea, but out of worry I had to know if he was in his room. I placed my hands on his door and as I gently pushed it open I knocked on it softly as I called out to him, "X … are you asleep …?"

_Do you EVER sleep …? _I pondered to myself since I couldn't help to realize that I had never _once _caught X asleep (maybe passed out, but that can't be called actual sleep) it was like he was some kind of metahuman who lacks the ability to sleep. Now, I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but the wider I opened the door, the more light shone through until I caught a glimpse of an empty cot and an altogether empty room. He wasn't in here?

Well … where the hell could he have gone off to?

And for that matter why would he risk the trouble?!

I gritted my teeth; I don't care how awkward facing him would be after what he had seen between Speedy and myself. If he's wondering the streets the middle of the night when I specifically told him not to I _will_ kill him myself! I huffed and spun around to hurriedly rush up the spiral stone steps, my foot steps as light as air and just as quiet. Once I reached the door at the top I remembered that this had been Father Zarni's room and decided to cheat. I didn't want to accidently wake him so I phased through the door and appeared in the empty church just in time to hear a loud _CLANG _of metal crashing against metal and my heart sank.

A sword fight, what had X gotten himself into?!

I ran around the alter prepared for combat, but what I heard was a different matter, X had hushed someone, _"Shh! _Easy kid, or you'll wake up the preacher."

Marcus's voice came next in the moonlit darkness that shrouded the church, "Sorry, I seemed to have gotten a little too excited …" slowly, cautiously I crept around a marble pillar, my hand racking across the cool stone as I took in the sight before me.

There, in the middle of the pews, at the center of the church with his cutlass in hand, X smirked cockily at the half-demon boy Marcus who wielded a short-sword perfect for his height. However, I could have easily mistaken him (if it weren't for his eerie voice) to be someone else since he traded in his alter-boy uniform for (if the darkness wasn't playing tricks on me) a brown vest laced over a white poofy-long-sleeved shirt. It went with either a black or brown pants that were tucked into what were unmistakable black leather boots. All in all, he looked like he was from a different world, and a different time (and he was) he just looked far more refined than X that was for sure.

X chuckled and ruffled the boy's hair, "It's alright kid, you wanna have another go?"

Marcus bowed his head and I glanced in my direction, I immediately pressed myself against the pillar so he couldn't see me. Why I was hiding, I hardly know, I guess I just didn't want to ruin their moment. Marcus, he seemed like a good boy and I figured any kind of affection X was giving him might be good for him. Maybe he won't be as cold hearted towards the world as I was and still am. I waited like that for a few seconds before I heard Marcus sigh, "I think we might have tempted fate for longer than her patience can stand, perhaps it is time for us to retire."

X scoffed as I heard him slide his cutlass back into his belt, "Whatever you say kid, up to you."

I took the risk of peeking around the pillar to watch as Marcus also slid his sword back into his scabbard, "If you don't mind my asking sir –"

"Marc, you call me _sir _one more time and I'll have to throttle you." He sounded serious, but I could see it in his golden hues that he was just playing around. Marcus, however, didn't get the joke.

He bowed, "My apologies … _Drake, _I did not mean to offend –"

X huffed, "Listen, Marc, no one else is here, and I'm not an actual Temple Guard alright, so could you just drop all the formalities. It's unnecessary, not to mention annoying. For creep's sake you're a kid! _Chilax!"_

Marcus looked up at X and I had to cover my mouth when a small giggle started to bubble up from my chest when the child blinked and dryly said, "I do not understand your meaning … what exactly does … _chill-axe _mean?"

"You serious?"

"I believe so, yes."

"…" X rolled his eyes and leaned on the back of one of the pews as he stared the kid down with a long hard look, "You know … I might just have to take you to Earth and corrupt you a little bit before I give you away to these monk-guys, all this _yes-sir-no-sir _has got to be damaging something up in there." He brought a finger to the side of Marcus's temple and poked him a few times before the boy grew irritated and swatted his hand away. X just swiped his hand over child's head, again messing up his hair as he sighed, "But, anyway, what were you going to ask me?"

Marcus, after straightening his hair, stared up at X and finally asked, "Where have you learned the ways of the sword? You seem very skilled and your maneuvering is all very different to me … no style I have been schooled in possess the moves you've shown me. Please, if it's not too much to ask, enlighten me."

X grinned, "Well, I taught myself everything I know … I, uh, kinda grew up addicted to watching these horrible kung-fu movies with my brothers and we'd play-fight for hours … but … they grew out of it, I didn't."

Marcus's eyes, though I didn't have to see them, I knew they sparkled in curiosity, "What are these _kung-fu movies _you speak of? They sound like a formidable organization."

X snickered getting a kick out of the fact Marcus came from a world unfamiliar with Earth's fantasies, "They're moving pictures with actors and bad dialogue kid, not an organization."

The boy tilted his head, "Like a theater?"

"Eh … sort of … except they're all projected in a small box that you can turn on and off at will so long as you have a special kind of magic wand that gives you the power of control … sometimes you'll need more than one, but cool huh?"

"Moving …. pictures … _cool_ …" He tasted the words, and for a girl who wasn't into fuzzy kittens, and big-eyed puppy-dogs, Marcus just seemed so cute just then.

"Yep, now you gotta go through the preacher's room. I'll follow right after you."

"Yes si – I mean … Drake …"

"Scat."

As instructed, Marcus dismissed himself and I leaned against the pillar to remain hidden as I watched the boy shuffle quietly around the alter and even more carefully through Father Zarni's door. It took him a whole of three minutes just to slip in and close the door behind him without making a sound. Yet, once he was gone he left me alone with X who I thought was still unaware of my presences. However, I should have known to never underestimate him, that story about how he taught himself everything he knew, it must have been true to some extent, but I get the feeling he left some other very important detail out. There was no way all of his moves were self-taught, he had to have received some kind of training from somewhere else.

I felt his aura grow closer and closer to me, but his footsteps were nonexistent despite the fact I knew the boots my mother had given him had a hollow heel. Not even his clothing ruffled or shifted with his every move, impressive. Robin had always said stealth was an art form that required not only constant training, hard-work, and practice, but natural born talent. X had this talent and he perfected it. He was silent all the way up till he purposefully made a bunch of unnecessary noise that someone of his caliber would easily (like second nature) have avoided when he leaned against the opposite side of my pillar and huffed, "He's a good kid, a little uptight, but solid nonetheless. You really think sending him to these monk people you were talking about will be good for him? Sunshine?"

Yeah, he knew I was here the whole time. No surprise there really; I bowed my head and wrapped my arms around my person when the chill of the marble stone against my shoulder-blades crept down my spine. Softly, never bothering to look around the pillar I responded barely loud enough for the church's cold emptiness to carry my voice to him, "I honestly don't know … but if he has any hope of really staying out of his father's grasp it'll be with them …"

"Mm-hmm …" he didn't agree with me, I don't think he did anyway, he just made a noise to acknowledge me. A pregnant pause, a still silence, a churning darkness fell over us when the moonlight that shone through the stain-glass windows were suddenly covered over by gentle clouds. The pillar then felt like a giant personified metaphor for this impenetrable wall that we just could never climb over. The closest we could get to one another was to lean against the opposite sides of the wall and talk. Like now, I hated it, I didn't want us to be this way anymore, but what would happen if I tried to peer over it?

What would await me on the other side if I found out that the X I knew and couldn't be without was long gone?

I couldn't stand this pillar, this _wall, _I had to see him, I had to know if he hated me for what I've done. I had to know if he finally understood that we couldn't be together. I had to know a lot of things, and the only way I would get my answers is if I confronted him face to face, so I rolled on my right shoulder and swung around the pillar, "X –"

He pressed a hand on my mouth to keep me silent and pushed me up against the pillar, his amber eyes sparked to life under the dim gray-blue moonlight when the angle hit it just right. He was glaring at something, something only his keen instincts could detect and when I tired to follow his sights he whispered, "We're not alone …"

The courtyard, that's what he was glaring at through the reflective glass windows that made it hard for those within the church to peer outside when the lights were on. Why anyone would blind-sight themselves on purpose went beyond me, but I wasn't about to complain. I reached up a hand to X's wrist and pried his hand from my mouth. He looked down at me and for a split second lost focus of whatever he thought he saw to stare deeply into my dark violet eyes. I could feel him searching for something, but as if he realized that something was just out of reach he snapped back at attention and with a jerk of his head took the lead and with me close behind him we both went through the side door exit and into the quaint little courtyard.

The enter ground was concrete with large circles cut into the ground in order to allow for three large fox-tail trees lining down the middle of the yard to grow within the rose bushes. Beautiful and peaceful, but the shadows they cast under the dark of night, and the minimal cover it provided for a couple of paranoid amateur spies (correction, _one _amateur spy being me) to scope out the open space was unsettling. X kept me close to him and constantly reached back to be sure I was still behind him as we slinked along the windowed-walls of the church.

Our eyes darted at everything that made a sudden move or created a certain sound that didn't go with the cool breeze that blew around the otherwise silent grounds. By the time we reached the front of the church X's back was pressed flat against the building and he had begun to move even slower, but his eyes were constantly scanning his surroundings. It was actually amazing to watch him so aware and in tune with his entire body that it made me feel guilty for blowing off Robin whenever he'd try to teach the team how to execute more stealthier tactics. It's actually no wonder now how X always seems to be five steps ahead of us.

He peered around the corner and then gestured for me to follow him as he relaxed his stance and casually walked out into the open close to the steps in order to get a better look at his entire environment. I propped one fist on my hip as he shrugged, "Whatever it was it's gone now … must have been a bird I saw …" he turned to me and grinned, "False alarm."

I sneered, "I thought your gut never fails you?"

He shrugged again as he ran his fingers through his unkempt hair, "It sometimes overreacts."

"Right …" a shadow moved to my right, I turned my head to look, but it only turned out to be one of the many bushy leaves of the fox-trees' shadow that caught my eye so I sighed and wrapped my arms around my person when the cool breeze kissed my bare shoulders. However, I refrained from expressing any discomfort to X, the arms length distance between us was good, I needed him away from me and as I ran my tongue over my teeth I gulped and sucked in a deep breath, _Now or never … _"X …"

He looked at me, although he had been staring stoically at me for a while, when I called his name – his alias – he reset his focus and acknowledged the seriousness in my tone. My eyes were still set on the shadow in the courtyard beside us as I gathered up the words in my throat to force them out of my mouth; I had to get this over with, "You saw us didn't you." I started with a statement that made him stiffen his lax posture, but his face betrayed no emotions; an interesting trait I found in him. His face _can_ be as indifferent as a statue if he put his mind to it, but his body language – if he wasn't careful – gave his emotions and actions away. I pressed on, still glaring at the shadow as if it were the cause of all my problems, "Speedy and I … in the hall …"

I closed my eyes then and waited for his response, braced for anything, even silence, but what I got was not what I expected.

"Yeah … so?"

I blinked my eyes open and turned to stare at the aloof thief who turned his back on me and walked over to the stone rails which lined the sides of the wide flat Spanish steps of the church. He took one step down and with one hand on the stone-rail surface he leaned on it and crossed one leg over the other while his left hand went to rest on the handle of his cutlass. I frowned in confusion and silently, cautiously, approached him, "So?" I repeated and he spared me a quick fleeting glance over his shoulder when I stood above him and again propped a hand on my hip as I stared down at him incredulously, "Aren't you … bothered by it?"

"Fuck yeah I'm bothered by it!" He exclaimed suddenly with a scowl. I probably should have been a little more cautious, but the damage was done, and I finally got the response I expected – not that I wanted him to be angry with me, but it's what I expected. He spun on me and despite I being taller than him he still managed to look threatening. Maybe it was because his hand was now gripping the handle of his sword, but every word that came out of his mouth was laced with venom, "What? Did you think I'd enjoy watching someone else touch my – _grr – _touch, _you."_

'_My girl' _that's what he was going to say, why he bothered to correct himself I hardly know, but I can't believe he would do it to humor me. Why start now? He usually never cares about my standings. So needless to say, this rare occurrence of humility suddenly made me feel _very _guilty for letting Speedy kiss me. I probably should have been more sympathetic to X's feelings, he was still human, and unlike me his emotions can sometimes greatly influence his actions, only the Heavens know what was going through his mind as he watched us in the hall. Wow, I really felt horrible now, so much so that I couldn't find a better way to respond to him, other than to weakly say, "I'd never think that …"

"Of course you wouldn't, which is why you let it happen in the middle of the fuckin' hall." He scoffed coldly and with a roll of his eyes turned away from me to lean on the rail again and to glare at nothing but air. Or at least he tried; he couldn't stop himself from shooting me with a quick stabbing glare from the corner of his eye when he added coldly, "There are rooms for those kinds of things ya know."

_Yeah, like you care about rooms yourself …_ I bit back my tongue to keep me from saying what I was thinking since I probably deserved what I was getting now, but I was a smartass. I can sometimes take sick pleasure in other people's miseries so long as it was caused by my sardonic sarcastic sadistic cutting remarks. However, try as I might to be a good girl I had to at least try to defend myself against X's cruelty, because knowing him, if I let it go on he'd take it to a very low level. I sighed heavily, "I didn't plan for him to suddenly spring that on me while you were playing peeping tom. It just happened; pretty much like you and me."

He turned to spitefully growl, "Is that a formal complaint I'm hearing from you?"

I took his face into my hands then and leaned closer to him, hoping that maybe I can quell his anger somehow with my _'charm' _if it can be called such when I reminded him of the honest truth, "I'll never be sorry for what we did."

"…" something was at the tip of his tongue, I could feel him working his jaw while I could see the biting jib fighting for the surface, but as I slowly slid my hands from his face to his shoulders and then away from him to stand up straight he huffed in irritation. With a shake of his head he inwardly scolded himself for letting me win this round. Well, I didn't actually know he was scolding himself, but for a character like X who enjoyed winning as much as Robin does forcing himself to lose was probably no picnic. He turned away from me to continue glaring at space when I heard him gruffly say, "I still want his social security number."

I rolled my eyes, "Let it go X, I don't care how worried you are about all this I'm not going to let you kill him."

He sneered, "I'm _bothered, _not worried, there's nothing for me to _be _worried about when it comes to you and other guys."

Well now, that's intriguing, I tilted my head, "You sound very confident with where my loyalties lay."

"Oh yes I am actually." He turned to me with his amber eyes back to their cocky glint, and another thing I liked about him, he can bounce back from whatever crappy mood he was in like a rubber-ball. I never had to tip-toe cautiously around him waiting for when his mood would clear up. Resilient he can sometimes portray the image of whatever I see being whatever I was going to get, as a matter of fact I don't think he was the read-between-the-lines kind of guy.

He grinned deviously, while I tilted my head in curiosity, "Elaborate."

As if he was stating how blue the effing sky was he said casually with that insufferable grin of his, "They're not me."

I sneered, "Conceited much? What does being you have anything to do with this?"

"Everything." With narrowed eyes I flicked my wrist around as a gesture for him to go on and prove his point with some facts. He rolled his eyes before he turned his whole body to face me in order to say, _"You_ keep coming back to _me."_

I didn't see the point, so I crossed my arms and shrugged drily, "I keep going back to Robin to, that doesn't mean I love him."

Suddenly, his eyes lit up with intrigue as he reached up and pried my arms from each other so he could weave his fingers with mine and pull me just a little closer to him when he asked sneakily, "So you _do _love me?"

_Was this a trap? _I grip his hands a little tighter as my face fell and I shook my head, "I never said that."

"But you implied it …" He suddenly pushed me back gently so he could step up and once again tower over me with his hands still weaved into mine.

I frowned, "You're reading too much into it."

"I'd like to think I read into it as it sounded to me."

"Then you'd be putting words in my mouth."

He smirked, "Actually, I'm trying to put something else into your mouth, but you just won't shut-up."

I sneered in disgust, "Nasty."

He leaned down closer so his bangs brushed against my forehead, the tip of his nose rubbed against mine, and his lips hovered so close to me that I could feel every breath that left him when he whispered, "You'd know wouldn't you."

His eyes, even now I could not believe how _un_believably amber they were and how much truth was packed into his beautiful irises. He really couldn't hide anything from me with how expressive his eyes were. So damn honest, and yet still so mischievous, I couldn't help to wonder how he could forgive me so easily with how deep his feels were for me. If it were me I'd have turned away and never, ever looked back. X had always struck me as the type to never forgive and never forget, his family seemed to live by that rule so why doesn't he? Why does he love _me _so much that he's willing to over look I _let _Speedy kiss me and worse yet that I kissed him back?

I closed my eyes, by Azar, the longer his golden hues stared at me, the more I felt like complete and utter shit. His hands slipped from my grasp and I let my arms drop to my sides in defeat when I felt his hands grasp the sides of my face to keep me close to him when he whispered, "Look at me."

It was a demand, not a request.

I opened my eyes and followed as instructed, but shrank away from his amber orbs when the intensity of which he stared at me increased. His lips parted, he said my name, "Raven …" but that's all I heard for a sharp prink in the back of my neck startled me. _Rage … _a powerful emotion that resonated throughout my entire body and the source of which was very nearby. I ripped myself from X's embrace when I sensed it headed our way, but whatever defense I could have come up with was pointless.

I might as well have been moving at a snails pace, before I knew it a vise grip wrapped around my upper left arm and I was airborne. I was thrown at the heavy church doors made of steel, the wind was knocked out of me and the world blacked out for a split second as I fell to the ground on my hands and knees. Gasping, I wrapped an arm around my sides and coughed trying to catch my lost breath while the stars played merrily in my field of vision. _X … _what had happened to him? Serge of worry and fear went through me as I looked up and in place of where I had stood before him was another woman. I couldn't see her face, but I knew she must have been breathtakingly beautiful. Yet, despite her size (she must have been a few inches taller than me with a slender build) she held X at arm's length away with his shirt while her free talon-like hand curled, poised, and was ready for the strike.

I held my breath when X's eyes flickered at me as if to check if I was still okay, and then glared at the demon who I had no doubt in my mind must have been Marcus's mother. A hard wind swirled around us and kicked up her nearly floor-length pure snow-white hair that looked as smooth as the finest silk, but as cold as the overbearing snow. Her black talons tensed when I barely heard her speak from where I was, but in a low hiss she said, "My son … you have him."

X grunted and struggled under her vise grip, but she shook him violently to keep him still when she growled, "Give him to me."

He huffed and snickered darkly, "Yeah, and what do I get in return."

She snarled, "Your life."

"Sounds fair enough, but you sound desperate, what if I want a little something more?"

_He's stalling … _I should have figured it out sooner, but when it finally clicked I slowly collected myself and gathered up the power within me before I whispered, _"Azarath … Metrion … Zinthous!"_

My eyes sparked white when my hands touched the ground and with a burst of power the ground shook violently and crumbled under the demon's feet. She lost her balance, but kept a tight grip on X who contorted his body into such a way that his right leg kicked up and over her arm to hook around her head. He brought her down to the trembling ground and with her arm trapped between his legs he twisted it and through all the rumbling and shaking I heard a sickening _snap! _The demon cried out in pain while X kicked her away from him and got to his feet, I stopped the world from shaking then so he could run towards me while the demon withered in agony.

On my feet I grabbed X's arm and began to pull him around the side of the church, "That's not going to stop her; we have to get out of here, _now!"_

We burst through the side entrance and with a start ran into Clarence, Marcus and Speedy who had all apparently felt the vibrations of the Earth under my command. Clarence took notice of our rattled personas and reached out to me, "My dear, what happened?"

"Marcus was right," I glanced at the child when I saw him flinch and frown in despair, "his mother is here to get him, we have to leave now Father."

Too late, the doors to the church were blown open and as heavy as they were they sent a threatening vibration throughout the church when they slammed against the stone walls. Marcus's mother stood at the entrance, and what would have been a beautiful porcelain-doll face was contorted into a look of utter terror. Her lips curled and revealed her razor sharp rows of pearly white fangs while her black talons had grown longer, sharper, and no longer could be associated with human hands. Speedy notched an arrow and charged it, X had his sword drawn, and I let the energy build up within me in preparation for her attack.

She snarled and with a powerful roar that resonated from my gut and throughout my body she darted into the church with inhuman speed. Speedy let loose his first arrow that exploded at her feet, but was unsuccessful with derailing her. She emerged from the smoke with her claws dug into the beams high up on the church ceiling. She hissed at us and as Speedy and X disbursed to take her down I backed up with Father Zarni and Marcus and pushed them towards the side door of the church, "We'll try to hold her off for as long as we can, but you have to go, it's not safe here."

Father Zarni winced when another explosion tore the church apart, but still grabbed my forearm desperately and declared, "You cannot expect me to leave you all here in need!"

I jerked myself away from him and growled, now was not the time to be righteous! "I expect you to keep Marcus safe, now _go!" _With a burst of power I shoved them both to the door and turned my attention back to the fight just in time to catch the demon jump at X. X fell back and kicked her off of him, she flew to the alter, but somehow corrected her fall by digging her claws into the stone table. Though she dragged the cloth with her, she stayed crouched on the alter and snarled viciously at X. She leapt off the table to him, but was suddenly met with a single arrow Speedy let fly and exploded on her chest.

She flew into the stone wall beside the giant crucifix, the wind thoroughly knocked out of her, she dropped to the ground wheezing and gasping for air, but she was resilient. Despite the nasty burn marks and rips to her gown that threatened her modesty she pushed herself on her hands and knees. Through the curtain of her long snowy-white hair she looked up and locked her seething radiant pearl white eyes on me, but then shifted it to the windows of the church. I followed her gaze and much to my great despair and utter annoyance Marcus and Father Zarni stood out in the courtyard watching the mayhem.

Without having a second thought I raced the demon towards the window and intercepted her by sliding across the polished marble holding out my hands and erecting a quick barrier just in time for Marcus's mother to slam into the black wall. The impact shattered the shield and she stumbled back a few steps, shook her head, and snarled, "Impudent cur! Out of my way!"

She took a swipe at me; I leaned against the window to dodge the lethal claws that managed to cut into the thin skintight fabric of my gown, _Too close! _I gasped and ducked when she took another swipe at my face, but only managed to slice off a few inches of my hair. I wasted no time taking advantage of my position and swept the floor from under her to give me time to run for some distance.

It didn't take her long to recover and when I spun around to face her again she was already on her feet looking for her son and when she could no longer find him in the courtyard she turned her rage on me. I summoned forth my powers and as she ran towards me I began to grab the pews as fast as I could to throw them at her, but she was fast. She out ran or jumped over each and every bench I flung at her while all I managed to do was shatter the windows of the church. She closed the gap between us with a roared, _"To Hell with you!!"_

I braced for whatever she had in store for me, but blinked in confusion when she suddenly cried out and fell to the ground at my feet with a very familiar dagger embedded in her back. I looked up and saw X running down the glass littered aisle to grab me and drag me away from the demon who was scrapping at the stone ground in rage. We regrouped with Speedy while Marcus's mother roared in outrage and screamed her son's name in both agony and terror.

X scowled as he watched – we all watched – the demon reach for the handle of X's dagger to yank it out from her back, X growled, "What's it gonna take to put this bitch down."

"A miracle," Speedy gruffly replied as he notched another arrow and pulled his string taunt; he raised his bow up and took aimed when she turned to face us with the dagger in her hands. Her pearl-white eyes, now that I had the time to actually observe it without fending for my life were glazed over. Her face still had a nasty sneer on her lips, but was otherwise lacking in any real emotion, as a matter of fact, besides the residual rage that emanated from her aura, she didn't seem real.

She felt like a hollow puppet and I gasped when realization finally hit me, "She's under a spell, someone enchanted her to ignore pain and focus on whatever mission that was given to her, she can't process common rationality."

X scoffed, "Good to know, but that still doesn't answer my question."

Speedy suddenly tensed, "Here she comes!"

He let his arrow fly, but she jumped over it and with extended talons of hardened black-flesh turned into layered armor she came at us, X and I scattered, but Speedy like a world-class baseball player sliding for home ducked under her and rolled. With noting to kill, she landed on one hand on the stone ground and with a twist agilely pushed herself back into the air, simultaneously Speedy had already let loose three strings of arrows. Yet, once Marcus's mother landed perfectly balanced on the back of one of the many untouched pews she sliced one of the arrows aimed for her face in three pieces and dodged the other two.

She engaged Speedy once more and I watched carefully trying to find my opening to assist him, but she kept moving and forcing him to find a more suitable firing ground. X stood beside me pretty much bouncing on the tips of his toes as he gripped the handle of his sword tightly, I was sure his knuckles were turning white. He glanced at me, "Okay Rae, you seem to know what the deal is here, so you better think of a counter-spell or however the hell it works cuz' if she keeps this up imma start cutting body-parts."

I believed he would to; "Just give me a minute to think!" I growled in frustration when Speedy cried out after the demon had got too close and managed to hit him with enough force to throw him into a pillar not too far from us. He hit the ground with a grunt, but was back on his feet firing away, he crossed in front of us and ducked as soon as Marcus's mother lifted up one of the heavy statues in the church and chucked it at him.

X and I separated so the statue hit the floor and shattered into dust, but we ended up having to run for cover when Speedy's barrage of arrows suddenly rained down in our general location. We pressed our backs against the same pillar Speedy was thrown against and X huffed, "Think faster! Think faster!"

Marcus's mother snarled when another explosive arrow Speedy let rip nailed her in the back and threw her out of the church and into the courtyard, Speedy shouted, "Hey! A little help here if you don't mind! I'm running out of ideas!"

He may have been running out, but I just got one.

I grabbed X and shoved him towards Speedy, "Keep her busy!"

X looked back at me, "Wait, wait you got a plan?"

"Just help Speedy!"

He grumbled some, but otherwise did as was told while I ran around the pillar to keep myself hidden, or at least tried to stay out of firing range. I levitated and folded my legs under myself in classic meditative pose, sucked in three deep breaths to calm my racing heart and pumping adrenaline, I then closed my eyes and called forth the power of my soul-self. The power came fairly easy due to my natural sensitivity to the supernatural. Slowly I opened my glowing dim blue eyes to see through the eyes of my soul as I rose out of my body in the form of my black-raven and shot into the air.

Hovering close to the ceiling of the church I watched as Speedy and X successfully managed to wrangle Marcus's mother back into the church and with a sort of unplanned tag-team effort they began to frustrate the demon to a boiling-point. I waited in the shadows, until finally my chance came when Marcus's mother made the mistake of getting too close to Speedy with her back turned to him. With his bow he smashed it across her shoulder blades and knocked her forward into X and with a round house nailed the side of her head and sent her crashing onto one of the church doors.

She grew wary, her body shuddered, I sensed her exhaustion and without remorse I darted out of the shadows to consume her consciousness and protect her mind from whatever malignant being was pulling her strings. Just as she managed to pull herself away from the church door the impact of which I tried to possess her caught her off guard and she pressed herself against the door again while a spark of dark magic nipped and challenged me. I clawed at it, peaked at the shield protecting her from my possession, but with a burst of power she threw me off and I soared off and away to regroup. Apparently, whoever put the spell on her was also smart enough to place wards of protection against anyone who'd want to tamper with their masterpiece.

No matter, the shield wasn't very strong; with another go I can shatter it.

However, as I was coming back around to watch out for another chance to save her, the back of my consciousness was tickled and before I knew what was happening I lost all concentration. I couldn't see through my soul, but I was flashing back to my body, at least I think I was. I don't know what happened, but I suddenly felt very vulnerable, I had to get back to my body! I was being threatened, but as I flew down to my calm, relaxed, and unprotected body I screeched in pain when the demon broke through X and Speedy's blockade, grabbed my body's throat and slammed my head against the pillar.

Pain exploded throughout my entire being, the world was spinning while the blood that leaked from the back of my head stained the marble-stone pillar. My mind closed itself off from my soul and in an effort to preserve myself I was drawn to my last resort, something was pulling me to him, I don't know what I was, but X never saw a thing coming. As soon as he was thrown off of the demon after a vicious attack I wasn't aware of, I threw myself into his chest and curled up in the safety of what was apparently my mirror fragment and lost all conscious thought.

All I was aware of was darkness … somehow … I could hear my heartbeat slowing down till I couldn't hear it anymore.

While in the safety of this shard I watched with passive indifference as the world blurred in a flurry of rapid movements that I wasn't conscious enough to digest. I couldn't feel anything, didn't try to, all I could focus on was my heartbeat, my body, and my fate. My temple was violated and I could not return to it even if I tried, was I … dead? More movement, I could barely see through the tight fabric of this shirt, but I was aware the demon, Marcus's mother, had been pinned to the ground by X, she was unconscious. One of his hands was on her throat to keep her still while the other I was quite sure was cocked back with his sword ready to run her through and I knew he would have done it.

He really would have if someone hadn't jerked him off her.

The world blurred when X spun around and shoved whoever pulled him away off his person. I saw Speedy glaring at X, his mouth moved while his hand made some sort of wild gesture that was lost to me. He took a step closer to X, but the body I was attached to turned away and reached down to grab the demon and finish what he started, but again, with a jerk I was sure Speedy in all his righteousness had pulled X off again. However, this time X wasn't so nice, he had spun around and landed a punch square on Speedy's jaw that knocked him over. His glare turned a darker shade of anger, but it was soon quelled when I saw the tip of X's sword pointing at his neck.

A few words I could not hear were exchanged, a tense silence, before X dropped his sword and grudgingly trudged over to my limp body laying on the stone ground beside the pillar with my bloodstains. X reached out a steady hand to me and with two fingers he pressed it to my neck and felt for my pulse … was I dead? I wish I could tell … I wish he could tell me … but in the end all that answered me was silence.

If I could sigh in despair I would … but instead I watched … I watched and wondered what was happening when I managed to catch a glimpse of two pairs of feet standing on either side of X. They wore the same boots as both Speedy and X, but when the thief finally looked up my despair grew to hopelessness when I saw the faces of two genuine Temple Guards. All the noise we made must have attracted attention, but damn it all, why does the help always come when the damage is already done?

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, or Azarath, I do own everything else though, so =p**

**A/N: Yay, moving on, wow, a lot of mixed emotions running around with you guys, some of you like Speedy/Rae, some of you hate it, lol, it's actually kind of funny to me, I love reading what you guys have to say. It makes my day all the more sweeter =) **

**L8er daez**


	30. Welcome Back

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Welcome Back**

Darkness, my consciousness faded to darkness the longer I remained in this small piece of mirror and I could no longer observe what it was the outside world was doing around me. Here, trapped on the other side of the mirror, there was nothing. Literally, nothing, just a whole lot of empty space, which was something to behold when on the outside I knew this shard X treasured close to his heart was small, thin, and only two inches in length. If physics prevailed the size of my soul should have turned the two-inch long shard into glass-dust particles lost in the wind. However, since this was magic science counted for nothing and so here I remained … trapped in nothing.

That is until the solid darkness on which I stood on suddenly fell away and without a scream of terror or fear I fell into nothingness. A breath that didn't exist left my lungs … my weak hands clawed at empty space … and yet further and faster still I fell down the rabbit hole of my cage. It felt like forever and I was beginning to wonder if I was falling at all, and as if that was the magic thought my free fall grounded to a halt, I grounded to a halt. Gently, I stretched the tip of my already outstretched right leg's toe and with a sudden loud _ting _a ripple of water emanated from my single touch and radiated outward.

It expanded and didn't weaken or dissipate, instead it grew stronger and with a strong pulse of energy I felt my soul was given life, consciousness, a body! The darkness around me melted away to black and white and gently I floated down till both of my feet were planted firmly on a dry dead ground in a dry dead world. Twist trees with contorted and sickly deformed leafless branched dotted what was suppose to be an open field with a cliff, a cliff that dropped into the bottom of nothing.

I remember this place.

I've dreamt of it before, but then it was in color, and back then I was screaming.

Why was I screaming again?

Oh, that's right, because my one and only friend had willingly fallen over the cliff into nothing.

I wasn't stupid, I knew the boy in that dream was Drake, I knew it was a warning for future hardships to come … but what I didn't get was why he fell over a cliff. Why would he want me to follow him to his doom?

"You're being too literal." I spun around and narrowed my eyes on myself when a perfect mirror image of me dressed in yellow stood beside me with her right hand on her hip while her left middle finger pushed up the frame of her thick plastic glasses. She looked at me and I glared at her when she turned her attention back on the cliff, she walked up to it and stared over the edge. I stayed rooted in place as she turned to face me, "It's a dream, you know dreams can have their twists and turns, you need to read between the lines."

I scowled, "I know how to interpret dreams."

"Then you are in denial of its true meaning?"

"No, I just don't see the point of it all; it's just a dream, nothing to be taken seriously."

She shrugged, "Point taken." She looked over the cliff again and tilted her head, "But if it is just a pointless dream … why not take the jump? Why even now do you fear peering over this edge?"

"There is nothing there, so therefore I won't waste my time chasing down ambiguous symbolisms."

"But didn't you want to know what that edge was?"

I frowned in confusion, "What?"

The yellow me kept her back turned to me as she tilted her head to the left and yet continuously stared over the edge as she reminded me, "You wanted to know what that edge was. The edge … the one thing that you didn't have, that you were too afraid of, that _he _had and _didn't _fear … the edge …"

"… Wha …" I felt stupid, I took a step forward, but did not go any further as my frown darkened and I asked – no _demanded, _"What do you see?"

She shrugged, "I see what you see, and what you see is what you want to see, not what is there …" she finally turned around to face me again, but this time she took one small step closer to the edge and I scowled in annoyance when she smiled, "The only way you're going to see what you have to see is if you look over yourself …"

With that she closed her eyes, spread her arms out and threw herself over the cliff, for a second I feared the worst and jerked my being into motion to catch her, but then I figured this was all a figment of my unconsciousness trying to sort itself out, so I relaxed with a huff. My arms crossed over my chest and my scowl turned into an irritated sneer when my yellow self again appeared behind me. She whispered so close to my ear my imagination felt her breathing down my bare neck when she said, "That is why they call it a leap of faith, you have to have a little faith."

I growled, "I don't need faith when I have my certainty."

She chuckled, "And a lot of good that's doing you … _wake up Raven."_

I blinked and turned to face her, but she was gone.

"_Raven …" _the voice echoed in my head and engulfed the frozen dead world, silencing everything with its overlapping tones of my voice and another's.

"_Raven …" _I gasped when I felt a throbbing pain in the back of my head, my head began to spin as the black and white world wavered and became once again darkness when I closed my eyes and groaned.

The voice called my name again and as I tried to open my eyes my lids were suddenly so heavy that I'd rather leave them close and fall back into my sanctuary. However, the voice was persistent when I felt a cold hand touch my right arm, delicate fingers clasped over my flesh and held onto me firmly as it shook me from my darkness. I groaned again, gulped heavily when my throat felt so dry, and hissed when the throbbing in the back of my head became prominent. With my dry tongue I licked my cracked lips and carefully, slowly, I opened my heavy eyes and turned towards the cold hand still holding my arm. I looked down at it, then followed the white robed sleeve up to a shoulder that was connected to my mother's face.

Her chilled, yet worried violet eyes stared down at me while her cold hand left my arm to run the back of her fingers along the side of my face as she sighed in minimal relief and spoke my name once more, "Oh Raven, thank the Gods I didn't lose you."

I frowned and gulped again to try and lather up my dried throat to speak as I tilted my head from side to side on the pillow it rested on and as far as I could tell I was back in my room, but besides my mother I was the only one here. I turned back to Arella and carefully pushed my stiff body up into a sitting position, her face contorted into concern as she rested a hand on my shoulder to keep me from fully standing up, I huffed, "How long have I been out?"

She shook her head, "Not long, a few hours after the guards brought you to the temple."

"And the others?"

She sighed and sat back on a nearby chair that shouldn't exist in my small room, I figured she put it there to sit and watch me as I struggled to regain my body. And speaking of body I looked down and noticed the makeshift necklace X made of my mirror fragment was now around my neck. Arella explained with her trademark patience about her as she clasped her hands on her lap, "Your friends were immediately transported back to their world, granted not without a fuss, but they will receive no serious punishment for what they've done."

I shook my head, "That doesn't make any sense, we were armed, we fought against the guards, shouldn't there be some jail time for that?"

Arella smiled a grim smile, "Where you were suppose to fight for Marcus's case, the boy ended up fighting on your behalf … he is quite charismatic and made a strong impact on the monks."

She was holding back, I narrowed my eyes on her and pushed the subject she was avoiding, "And what of my punishment?"

She blinked and looked away from me for a brief moment before she scooted from her chair to sit on my bed. Her back was turned to me, her head bowed, her hair curtain around her face to keep me from seeing her expression, but much good it did, I was still an empath and I gulped when I felt guilt and sorrow swirl over her head as she sighed heavily. A dark feeling of dread crept down my spine when she turned to face me and without saying a word took me into her arms and held me tightly. She lightly kissed the side of my head as she whispered in torment, "I tried … I tried to overturn your sentence …" she choked and she held me even tighter, "Raven … you've banished from Azarath … for life …"

I went numb.

Banished?

Me?

Wh – no!

I scowled and shook my head to remove the numbness that was swelling in my head and creeping throughout the rest of my body. I knew why, so there was no point in asking, but it didn't lessen the weight of the painful truth bearing down on my shoulders. Azarath, despite its cruelties had always been and will always be my childhood home, where I grew up, and where I was taught everything I now know. To lose it, to never be able to return to it was a concept I couldn't yet wrap my fingers around. Especially when I knew I'd be able to see my mother again either. I wrapped my arms around Arella and held her just as tightly as she was holding me, if only to provide her what little comfort I could. She was taking the news harder than myself, not surprised … I was her only child and now I could never return to Azarath to see her.

Could she come to Earth to see me?

Maybe … possibly … but I highly doubt it.

Arella hated Earth with every fiber of her being since it brought back too many painful and shameful memories that she couldn't cast away even if she tried. She even told me herself that she swore she'd never go back to Earth. I gulped and sighed heavily as I looked up at the ceiling and waited for Arella to pull herself together while thinking to myself, _Justice sucks. _Sure I was on the heroic side, saving lives and standing for justice, but to be perfectly honest I didn't believe in all that bullshit.

Justice sucks … because there always has to be a right and a wrong answer and I didn't believe in that.

With what I've seen and what I've gone through, justice can't be that easy.

It's complicated, it's ugly, and it's unfair, but I pursed my lips and kept a straight face, simply because it's the way the world works. I was a dangerous half-bred demon girl with destructive powers that could bring down entire nations if left unchecked. With the chaos I caused in such a short visit back to my childhood home I knew it was only a matter of time before my crimes caught up to me. That's why my banishment came as no surprise. It was only a matter of time.

Some people lose, but most lose so much more … which one was I? I don't know, I'd like to think I was neither, I'd like to think I was the exception … the scapegoat … the one to point the finger at and make an example out of when something goes horribly wrong and for the most part I was content with just that. Until I met Red X some odd months ago when my perception of the world started to crumble, and I couldn't stand just being apart of the gears that kept society's clock ticking at a normal pace. He didn't help stabilize me, in fact, damn him to hell, he made it all so much worse.

He made me rethink everything I've ever believed in.

He changed me.

I hardly think I'm the same person anymore … I don't … I use to be a very good girl, the one girl that Robin could count on to never question his orders, to be upfront with him, and to keep the Titans running at a cool and even pace. I was the voice of reason. I was bland. I was boring. I was the predictable Titan that everyone could count on. Actually, I still think I was bland and boring, but according to X and Speedy I wasn't.

Speedy, Roy … I think … I think if I've never met X and I was still spiraling down my crumbling path Speedy would have been there to keep me in place. If anything, I think he was suppose to be my meant-to-be, my very own fairytale ending, or whatever the word was. However, the point is if X hadn't gotten to me first I wouldn't be struggling with right and wrong in the first place. Speedy would be my right way to go, the _safe _way to go.

Who knows, it's probably not too late to change back to the way I was before, when I was a good girl that followed the rules … following rules don't get people banished that's for damn sure. Arella huffed and finally pulled away from me, we stared at each other for a moment before she turned away from me with a sad frown and an even sadder posture. She stood up from my bed and headed for my door, but before she left altogether she said, "Once you feel strong enough to get out of bed, get dressed and come out to formally receive your sentence."

"…"

Yeah … Justice sucks.

Despite my fatigue I did get out of bed, I did get dressed, and I did exit my small room. Only then was I greeted by a couple of Temple Guards who cuffed me in heavy chains that dulled my powers as they lead me from my room to what I called the Judgment Chamber. There all thirteen of the monks would converge to dish out sentences and play judge, jury, and executioner to the poor soul that dared to cross their laws, the poor soul of the day being me. I sighed as the guards dragged me by my forearms, their grips tight enough to let me know if I tried anything I wouldn't get away with it, but neither was it unbearably tight.

Behind us Arella followed with the hood of her robe pulled up so I couldn't see pass the shadow to her sorrowful violet eyes. I had a cloak of my own as well, black in color, which was the color of a convicted felon, but I opted to leave my hood down. Hell, if I was going to be banished for being a nuisance and bringing about lethal chaos to Azarath in the form of unauthorized weapon carrying outsiders I might as well own up to my crime. Since, personally, I don't believe I did anything wrong, and I was going to stick to my guns.

In a matter of two minutes the guards, my mother, and myself all made it to the Judgment Chamber where I was thrust into the center of a single beam of light graced by the moon itself from the circular skylight over my head. The guards still holding onto my arms and my wrists still cuffed I held up my head and straightened out my posture when through the dim poorly lit chamber I saw the entire congregation of monks neatly lined in a row before me. The center of which I knew to be the commanding force (not necessarily the king or dictator, but he was well respected, therefore appointed the tediously burden-filled task of Head of the Court) Azar. He was a nice old man … well … as nice as a retired drill sergeant from the Marines can be.

He was straightforward, to the point, and wise.

I've studied under him a lot more than any of the other monks on the bench; he seemed to have taken a personal interest in me and did more than enough to help me through the worse of my powers. However, he didn't do so because he liked me, no, he felt sorry for my mother who decided to bare a cursed child such as myself and so did his damnest to make sure I wasn't such a fuck-up. Feh, a lot of good that did, I was still being banished from Azarath.

Azar stood up, his hood cloaked his eyes, but his voice boomed and vibrated in my core when he spoke, "Raven Roth, child of Arella Roth, born of the House of Trigon, you are hereby sentence to permanent exile from Azarath for your blatant disregard for the safety of the people of Azarath and your callus actions against the laws of this world. If you have any last words speak them now, but know that whatever you may say will not sway the people of this bench."

He sat down and as customary waited five minutes for me to speak.

I didn't speak … it was useless; there was no point in arguing my piece when they already made their decision so I stayed silent, but just before my five minutes were up the doors into the chamber were swung open. I glanced over my shoulder and glared when I saw Marcus panting, seemingly out of breath with a desperate expression on what use to be a stoic face. He shouted loud enough for his voice to ring in my ears, "You cannot do this! It's madness! All she has done was with the best of intentions you cannot expect the path of righteousness to be set in stone! You're all making a mistake!"

Azar, with a heavy almost irritated tone said, "Child you speak out of turn, we've heard your testimony and although compelling Raven Roth cannot go without the proper punishment."

"And being ripped from her home by the very people she trusted to leave me in the hands of?! I'd rather rot in the streets and suffer my father's wrath than to –!"

"Marcus," I said his name softly, but somehow he heard me and turned his white eyes to me, I nodded for him to come closer since the guards would not let me go or turn me around to face him. So he followed my gestured and hurried so he stood before me, under the moonlight with me, looking up at me with such pleading eyes that it reminded me he was still a young eight year old boy. I sighed, "I appreciate what you're trying to do … but you're just making things harder."

He gritted his teeth and reached up his hands to clasp them over my cuffed wrists as he growled, "It's unfair! If this is the price that must be paid to ensure my safety I say it's too steep. Why couldn't I foresee this?!"

Poor kid, I hooked my fingers under his chin and gently tilted his head back up to look at me, "Let it be a lesson learned Marcus, justice shouldn't be set in stone and the future is as fickle as it is flexible. Now go stand with my mother and say not a word."

"Ms. Raven –"

"Go."

"…" like a defeated kitten or a sad puppy Marcus trudged over to my mother with his head owed low and I straightened up to face my jury.

"Proceed."

Azar stood up, "The child takes a fond liking to you."

I scowled, "I don't see how the matter pertains to my banishment."

"It matters not; I just find it tragic you will not be around to teach him any more. You would have made a fine tutor, but as it is, Raven Roth, may the stars watch over you and the Gods have mercy on your soul."

The ground beneath me lit up with ice-blue symbols, I felt the power of the magic envelope me as the guards stepped out of the ring, the cuffs still on my wrists as I fell into a warp that jerked me this way and that. I cringed as the restrains on my wrists didn't allow me to control my fall (or flight, I couldn't tell anymore the faster I went) it started to become unbearable. Until finally with a rush of power the cuffs fell off my wrists, gravity returned to my body as it pulled me in the right direction. I flipped so my feet gently touched the ground in a soft float before the magic finally left me and I dropped to one knee in the middle of Titans East Control Room.

My finger tips touched the ground, but it all felt so surreal, it was dark, it was quiet, and I was so alone.

A cold chill raced down my spine when I felt the ventilation system blow cool air through the large room, I pressed my palms flat on the ground and let my head hang for a minute in mourning. Seriously … did all of what I remembered happen, _just _happen? Was I really now officially in exile? I closed my eyes for a moment to stop myself from spiraling into self pity, _It happened Raven … it all happened … deal with it … _I sighed heavily and then brought up a hand to cover over my face. I then pushed off the ground and with the cape draped over my body I rubbed my hand down my face and tilted my head back to glare up at the high ceiling.

I forced myself to go completely numb, and did what I do best, bottle everything up inside.

Still staring at the ceiling I flinched when the lights were suddenly flicked on and my eyes were temporarily blinded by the florescent lights, I flinched away and quickly brought up my hood to hide in safe shadows. I turned my head to the side and looked over my shoulder where I heard the doors hiss open. Bumble Bee stepped in, and stopped in shock, she said my name, I didn't respond, only turned to face her and the rest of the team, Robin included.

Everyone rushed to my side, especially Speedy who couldn't contain his rapture to know that I was still alive, but stayed true to his façade and kept himself as cool as can be in front of the group. Robin was the only one who didn't rush or crush me with hugs and swarms of questions; he calmly approached the group with his eyes locked solely on me. Although I can feel his relief to have me back, I could also feel his remorse and sympathy for me when through our bond I accidently conveyed the emotions of despair and great loss. I gulped heavily when I felt my numb cold wall breeched and as I bowed away from his welcoming smile and curt node of welcome a stubborn tear left my face and crawled down my cheek.

I didn't dare raise a hand to wipe it off in the fear of exposing an emotional side of me no one should ever have to see. So I stood in silence, waiting for the tear to dry, and as if my silence was the tall tale sign of something troubling everyone else grew quiet. Robin placed a hand on my shoulder and both in my head and through my ears he whispered, "Welcome back …" I tensed and another tear escaped my eyes in both sorrow and amusement.

'_Welcome back …' _I thought in my head as I shook it and sighed heavily, yes, I was welcome back into warm and loving Titan arms where I would always have friends and a home, but for a how long I wonder. Through the shadow of my cloak I narrowed my eyes on the analytical Speedy; how much had he told them … what did he know, and what did he want in return? I bit down on my lower lip when the amusing part of my sorrow hit me, this little welcome was a prologue to the true madness that would ensure as soon as the doors were closed and I was left with Robin.

If Speedy – and I know he told Robin something – said anything at all, I might have just overstayed my welcome. Gods did I hate to think about what had happened to X, I'd never forgive myself if I wasn't there to save him, like he saved me. My hand went up to clench the mirror piece still around my neck, the motion didn't go unnoticed to Speedy and Robin, but they didn't say anything. All the while Bumble Bee had lead me to the couch for a little story telling, she wanted to know what happened in Azarath after Speedy had come back.

She had said everyone was so worried about my condition, and then suddenly went on to ask if the new clothes I was wearing was my new costume. She was going so fast that before I knew it se was telling me all about what happened on Earth while they waited for my return and what she said shocked me. They had lost Moonburst!

"… I'll tell ya this much, that chick is harder than she looks –" I heard her say before I cut her off and turned to Robin with a glare set in my eyes.

"How did you lose her? I thought you were keeping her in the cell here?"

Robin sighed, "Protocol Raven, she's been here for more than twenty four hours, we had to send her to lock up in Steel City Pen. we tried our best to provide protection for the bus that took her, but I think it was her brother that ambushed us and took her away." The memory of a failed protection came to him and he growled, "Damnit, we've lost our only lead on X and Blackfire."

_Not only that, but X's plan isn't going to work now … what is he going to do now? _I continued to chew on my lower lip (which I've also now noticed has become a terrible habit), "How long ago was that?"

Bumble Bee scoffed, "Weren't you listening to me, I just told you we came back from a rough night, it just happened before you showed up."

Aqualad filled in the details, "We followed a trail for a while, but it was a dead end and so we all decided to regroup in the Tower."

That's when Speedy spoke up, "The bio-tracker implanted in her lead us halfway out of Steel before we lost her signal entirely, she and her brother vanished without a trace."

"They were headed due west," Robin concluded, "to Jump City."

I frowned, "Why Jump? That doesn't –"

"I know it doesn't," Robin replied before I ever finished my sentence, a side-effect of our bond. He sighed and looked at me with an apologetic face since he knew how much I hated it when he'd abruptly cut me off the way he did.

I turned away from him when Aqualad sighed, "Well, in any case, it looks like you guys are headed back home first thing in the morning."

In the morning? I inwardly scoffed, if Robin had his way we would be headed there right now, but he probably predicted a cry of protest from Bumble Bee and the others and thus kept his mouth shut to roll with the punches. Speaking of Bumble Bee, the Titans East leader nudged my arm and smirked, "So, we told you about our crappy days while you and Speedy were gone, what happened in Azarath?"

I shot Speedy and quick glance, "Didn't he tell you anything?"

She shrugged, "He told us you guys found whatever it was you were looking for, but then he said he was sent back here for some reason without you. So what? Did you succeed? What happened?"

"Uh, heh, Bee," Aqualad chuckled and set a friendly hand on my shoulder as he smiled warmly at Bumble Bee, "We've all had a long day, so why don't we call it a day and hit the sack," he looked down at me with that warm smile of his and asked, "Sound good?"

Good ol' Aqualad … always knew when to properly cut in and spare anyone from further exhaustion. He had a good heart. I hoped in the years to come he'd remain just the way he was now. It was a refreshing difference compared to all the other bullshit that surrounds me. I sighed and nodded while I stood up and without permission from the others I headed for my room. Robin and Speedy followed with me since as our rooms were generally in the same direction. It didn't take long to reach Robin's room, he bid us a grim goodnight and I thus concluded that Speedy hadn't yet told him anything important.

It was either that or Robin was a very good actor.

I couldn't tell, so I didn't say anything even as Robin's door closed and the air suddenly grew very heavy and thick with barely breathable air as Speedy and I took measured steps towards the corner to our hall. Yet, we still didn't say anything, not until we reached my room did he suddenly huff and grow wary of the unbearable silence, "Raven, I didn't say anything they didn't ask about."

I faced him, "I noticed … why?"

He shrugged, "It didn't seem fair since you weren't here to defend yourself …" I closed my eyes when I felt his hand gently caress the side of my face, I felt him come closer to me as he said, "You sure you're okay?"

I nodded, "I'll be fine …"

He didn't believe me; his masked eyes narrowed in frustration while he ran his hand through my hair and pushed down my hood, we were only inches apart and though I felt so warm being so close to him I never felt more alone than I did now. I felt empty and incomplete, although I could never call Azarath home sweet home, to lose it made me feel like a house cat suddenly kicked out into the cold and lonely city. Speedy, being the sucker for a girl in distress leaned down to wash away my despair with a single kiss, but I didn't feel like humoring him. I turned away just seconds before our lips made contact, however I didn't want to seem cruel anymore, so I softly kissed his cheek before he pulled away from me to stare long and hard.

The hand on my face fell away so it was propped on the door behind me as he sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled as he forced a smirk on his lips, "I never had a chance did I?"

"… You once did …" why did I say that? Why was I talking? I already rejected him, saying anything would just make the situation harder, but I couldn't stop myself. Speedy had that power over me, for some reason I felt like I could tell him almost anything and not be criticized for it. He was nice … but, despite discovering what nice felt like … a girl like me couldn't have nice, didn't deserve it really.

Speedy's false smirk finally fell and with much more compassion he took my face into his hands and said, "You know I'm not the kind of guy who emphasizes the differences between good and bad, but what you're doing … it's not worth losing everything for Raven …"

_I already lost Azarath … _I bit down on my lower lip and gently pried him away from me as I stepped back closer to my door and briefly turned away from him to open said. I further more stepped into the large room, but turned to shrug at Speedy in defeat, "I'll remind you to say I told you so when that day comes …"

I closed the door behind me with a fist to the manual controls and gulped when the realization of what I had just done finally hit me.

I made a choice … and that choice was X.

_What have I done?_

**--**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, Marcus, and the Temple Guards I do own however …**

**A/N: Holy hell!! This chapter was not only a bitch to make (because to me it's a filler for what's to come next) but the situations surrounding my real life is HELL!! Fucking finals are kicking my ass and I think I just bombed my editorial-essay for my English class, not to mention I now have to withdrawn from my Math class so the F for Fuck-up doesn't screw with my credentials. Add to that my father's been out of town so I now have to take care of my younger brother (who also likes to be told stories (completely originals) so that's been conflicting with the things I've been writing for you people).**

**Also, I'm getting really worried about my friend, she's become depressed and I've taken enough suicide seminars to see the signs of the unthinkable, so I'm worried. Needless to say, I've just been out of it and didn't feel like writing for a while, but lucky for all of you I've forced myself to continue and continue I shall. So sorry I took so long, and I apologize for my life story (ignore it if you will plz, I jus needed to get it off my chest).**

**I'm done talking for now.**

**I'll be sure to see u all in the next chapter …**

**L8er daez … **


	31. Last Chance

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Last Chance**

It wasn't a long goodbye.

It wasn't a sad goodbye.

It wasn't even a regrettable one.

It was just a few friends wishing a couple of other friends a safe trip, Speedy barely said or did anything more than he had to, but the look on his face said it all. He was still pleading with me to do the right thing, I wish I could, I don't even know why I couldn't … it didn't make sense. It wasn't like X was twisting my arm, or I was madly deeply in love with him, no that's not the case here … I don't know what it is … but I just knew I didn't want to try to live my life without him. I didn't want to know what that pain would feel like, and I most certainly didn't want to lie to myself anymore.

Robin and I departed from Steel in a quick hurry (or rather a slow hurry, he was going 90, meaning he was thinking and didn't want to go too fast). I held onto his waist and rested the side of my head on his back to watch the world fly by us in a blur; it oddly enough comforted me to not be able to see the world for once. I closed my eyes when the thought of X started to worry me, I hadn't heard from him since I got back from Azarath, Speedy didn't mention what or where he was, and I was damn sure not even Robin knew where the thief was. Apparently, the thought of two revenge seeking Tameranians took priority over his Red X obsession, but not me.

My Red X obsession always took priority over all else.

I sighed, and before I knew it time flew away from me and in the middle of a hot afternoon, Robin and I finally arrived at Jump. The speed-wonder had apparently gunned the throttle somewhere along our trip and had cut our arrival time short and since Jump was our fair city he knew all the short cuts to take back to our Tower. Speaking of Tower, Robin hailed the Ops Room to let Cyborg know we were almost home, and almost was an understatement. We were seconds away with the speeds Robin was traveling at, I sat up and held onto him a little tighter when I realized we were about to cut through X and my neighborhood.

The street where we would find secret sanctuary with one another every night prior to the numerous fiascos that tangled themselves in our webs. I leaned with Robin as we took the turn into the neighborhood and gasped when something flew in close to Robin's front wheel and startled him enough to drop the bike to the ground. We went skidding across the pavement; I let Robin go and rolled along the road until I stopped on my back staring up at the sky. The bike crashed into a nearby streetlamp and I quickly jumped to my feet when I realized I was laying in the middle of an active road.

Lucky me the roads were barren of any moving cars, but what the hell happened?

"Robin!" I called out to him and ran to his aid when I saw him struggling to get back on his feet.

He grunted as he stood up and scowled as his masked eyes darted up and down the street, "What the hell was that? It looked like a …"

_WHOOSH!!_

He didn't get a chance to finish for a black streak with a lavender tail screamed down the street followed closely by an equally fast green stream. The wind whirled around us and seconds after they passed us by we were blown off our feet by a sonic boom that knocked the wind out of our lungs as glass rained down all around us. I felt my hands and bare legs (I was in my leotard) were scraped and cut up and I grimaced when glass dug into my flesh as I tried to once again pick myself up off the ground. However, as I reached my hand up to grab for something to help me back on my feet I cried out when I grabbed a stem of an untrimmed rose and its thorns cut deep into my hand.

I had been thrown into a nearby flower shop; daffodils of chivalry and unrequited love, dahlias of elegance and betrayal were all over me in such a way I might as well have been buried with them in my own grave. Funny how I'd be covered in flowers of ill symbolisms, I sighed heavily and shook my head to dispel the coincidence as I pushed myself back on my feet and stumbled out into the street where all hell was breaking loose. With a ringing sensation still resonating in my ears I looked up at the sky when I heard what sounded like a missal hurtling to Earth. I braced for impact, but when I chanced a peek through my arms I instead saw Blackfire slow her decent so when she hit the ground all she created was a crack in the pavement.

Of course, that was before she completely obliterated the surface when she launched herself back into the skies and with what sounded like another sonic-boom that vibrated throughout the neighborhood she slammed into her opponent. Whether it was Moonburst or Strongheart was only my guess, but if she was here that meant so was X … but where the hell was he and was he even alright? For that matter, where was Robin?

The instant I thought of him I felt a tingling in the back of my neck that told me to look up and there across the street I found Robin. He was leaning against an intact streetlamp holding the side of his head (probably trying to stop it from ringing) while frantically dishing out orders on his com-link. I clenched my fists and was about to rush to his side when I heard a sound that both enthralled me and frightened me, it was the X-bike's engine and it was tearing through the neighborhood. It took a moment, but Robin heard it to and within seconds I spotted the black figure, but hot on his tail was the other Tameranian sibling.

I gulped to still my beating heart when I remembered X telling me his masked was cracked and he couldn't see out of it and as I recall I've taken up most of his time in Azarath, he wouldn't have been able to repair it so quickly. So I prayed he was at least wearing _something _to cover his face, but try as I might to catch a glimpse of it he was too far off and he was moving too fast. Before I knew it he blew pass me in a streak of red and black and just as Strongheart threw a starbolt at him X used the crater Blackfire made as a ramp and with the speeds he was going he quickly gained a lot of air. My mouth fell open when I spotted Blackfire and Moonburst on a collision course with them, I futilely reached a hand out to help, but narrowed my eyes and frowned when I noticed something odd.

Red X, wasn't on the X-bike … he was on Robin's!

It all happened in a second flat, X leapt into the air, Blackfire caught his wrist and quickly went vertical just as Moonburst shot a starbolt at her, missed, and hit the bike. The bike exploded and it sent a shockwave throughout the destroyed streets, I cringed and shielded myself from the debris and flames. Strongheart and Moonburst plopped out of the sky in roasted heaps, they weren't dead, no, far from it, but they were angrier than hell. So I decided to take over from here to give Blackfire and X a chance to escape while the other Titans came to clean up their mess. With pent up energy I lifted up flaming pieces of debris and launched it at Strongheart as he struggled with his sister to pick themselves up off the ground.

My throw was true to its aim and hit him on his shoulder which knocked him back to the ground, Moonburst gasped and as he reached down to hold her brother she turned and with glowing green eyes snarled, "How dare you! Stay out of this! It does not concern you!"

"You're an escaped felon Moonburst," I shouted, "that makes you my business, now both you and your bother power down you're going back to jail."

Strongheart, despite his body wracked with pain stood up, hunched over, and with a bloody mouth sneered, "There is one of you and two of us, you will not win."

"So why don't we even the playing field!" Terra announced as she flipped into position just off to my left a little behind me, I heard an eagle screech in the sky as Beast Boy dropped from the sky and simultaneously morphed into a tiger to let loose a vicious roar. Cyborg drove up behind me, got out of his car and pointed his sonic cannon at the duo while Starfire gracefully floated to the ground to my right.

Powered up and ready to go Starfire stoically said, "It would seem as if you are the one's now outmatched Ja'marnixzz, stay your energy and come peacefully, we mean you no harm."

"It's either that," Robin added as he calmly waked across the street to join Starfire's side, "or this turns into something very unpleasant."

Moonburst growled, "Our fight is not with you Earthlings, it is with _that Hexezbrk'fe_ sibling!" She directed her anger to Starfire, "If you have any respect for your own kind you will understand that all we want is your sister's head on a plate! The challenge has been initiated and it is your sister's cowardice that prolongs this planet's suffering!"

Starfire cringed, her previous strong front faltering at the pain of losing a sister and obeying her cultural beliefs. She even glanced at Robin for support, but Robin did not assist her in anyway, probably because he knew this was a decision Starfire had to make on her own. One of those growing-up-Suzy (or Johnny) life lessons that are constantly thrown at us in hopes that we make the right decision to further our personal growth. Annoying really. Especially when given to a girl that can't even decide if she wants to wear a pink skirt to the mall or skinny-jeans to the food-court. I just about had it with the wait when Starfire straightened her back and said, "This is not Tameran, and I must ask you to stay your energy and respect Earth's customs. Please, Cassidia'n, come to your senses."

Moonburst and Strongheart shared a look, but not just any look; it was a look of a couple of siblings with nothing left to lose, a dangerous combination. Strongheart powered up, followed by his sister as they took to the air, I felt Terra follow suit with Starfire matching their aura readings. Cyborg prepared to fire, and seeing as everyone else was on edge I too prepared for a fight. Strongheart roared, "So long as your sister still breaths on this planet, Earth is doomed to destruction unless her corpse lays rotten at our feet!"

Robin didn't hesitate, "Titans! _GO!"_

We split them up; Terra, Beast Boy and myself went after Moonburst; Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg cornered Strongheart and for a while despite X and Blackfire's efforts in their previous fight Strongheart and Moonburst were still a hassle to take down. I never realized how far they were willing to go until I stupidly failed to guard my left flank just as Moonburst broke through Terra's barrage and Beast Boy's squirrely attack. She momentarily disappeared from our visual range only to reappear at my left with a hard kick to my side, _CRACK!! _I screamed when I heard and felt my ribs snap like twigs within my body, but it didn't stop there. Moonburst, like a rag-doll, picked me up with my cape and flew over head to hold me hostage as Terra and Beast Boy screamed my name in horror.

She threw me in the air so she could grab me and hold me at a better angle and with every movement the pain intensified in my side as she snickered, "Your body is as fragile as a Janitka flower, it will be easy for me to pluck your limbs like petals from its stem."

Oh Azar … oh Gods … the pain … it hurt so much … I coughed … I tasted copper-iron, blood, internal bleeding, _Great, _I sneered and gulped just before I croaked. Moonburst snarled and shook me, "What was that? Speak up!"

I flinched as I reached up and clenched my mirror fragment still dangling on my chest, I huffed and repeated myself even louder for her to hear me, "Get over yourself." With the fragment in my hand I snapped my hand up and jammed the pointed end of the two inch long shard into her left eye-socket.

She screamed in agony as she dropped me and I plummeted to my doom her laser-eyes going haywire as she to fell from the sky and landed with me on a rooftop. I dropped with a gasp as a pulse of energy radiated out from me, my mirror shard was destroyed, the gateway to my soul. I was always told to take care of it, to never break it, but never told why … now that a piece had been obliterated, what did that mean? Another pulse of energy left me and darkness started to cloud my mind, dark thoughts, evil thoughts, inhuman thoughts … my demon was awakening and it was coming to with a vengeance after I had sealed it away for so long.

I scrambled to try and stop it, but in the process of concentration Moonburst in a fit of rage for the loss of her eye kicked my stomach and nearly knocked me unconscious. I might as well have been for in a desperate attempt to escape the unbearable pain I reached out and embraced the demon in me. Moonburst shouted something at me, I wasn't aware of it, but as she cocked her leg back and brought it down to bare down on me as hard as she could I grabbed her ankle and dug my black talons into her flesh. A scream got stuck in her throat as I lifted her up, high into the air, and towered over the world with shadows of hell and tentacles of despair leaking out all around me.

Four glowing red eyes pierced Moonburst's suddenly pale white face, fear had drained all of her color, and as I contorted my body to glare at her from her point of view she found her voice and screamed for her brother, _"Ja'marnixzz!!"_

Her scream excited me and I licked the side of her face to taste her fear, but she slapped me away and in a fit of rage I whipped her around and slammed her into the rooftop so hard I was sure I rattled something in that cocoon she called a skull. I opened my cloak and with it I engulfed her in darkness as I cupped her in my wings, drowning in that intoxicating aroma of her fear I chuckled, "Would you like me to tell you what I want to do to you …?"

She cringed away from my touched when I tried to gently run my talons down the length of my face, she cried and pleaded, but I cupped her mouth to silence her, her fear in her eyes was so delicious, "Shh-shh-shh … hush now … there's no one here but you and me … you don't have to worry about anyone else knowing our true nature …" I pulled my hand from her mouth and cocked my arm back with a malicious gleam, I couldn't wait to paint myself a masterpiece with her blood, "Sing for me!"

She screamed … ah … music to my ears.

A pity she only lasted a few seconds as I dug my talons into her abdomen and sank my hand in until I clutched her spinal-cord, that's when she silenced her screaming, and choked on her tongue when she could no longer stand the pain. Her lips turned blue, her eyes were streaming with tears and in my disappointment for her lack of stamina I snapped her spine and pulled my bloody hand from her body while her mouth leaked with her internal fluids. I pulled my darkness back into me as I stood up and stared down at her blood drenched body. I tilted my head in curiosity and lifted up my right hand to stare at the crimson hues that swirled and dripped down my arm and elbow to the rooftop beneath me.

I smirked … no … my demon smirked when I submerged itself back into my darkness with a promise to enjoy me suffer guilty-agony for killing a third life. I began to shake as the beginnings of panic, shame, guilt, and confusion swelled up and I grew dizzy in nausea and disbelief. Oh Gods no! Why?! Why wasn't I told that every piece of my mirror was apart of the reason why it's been so easy for me to control my demon-half?!

I was just in the middle of a total mental breakdown when I heard a rage filled roar appeared behind me. I turned to look and had the wind knocked out of me when Strongheart threw himself at me and we both tripped over the edge of the rooftop to sail through the air for a brief period before we slammed into the pavement below us. I had the sense enough to elicit a shield in order to cushion my fall and kick Strongheart off me once we hit rock bottom. The honest, sincere regret I felt for killing his sister would have to wait, Strongheart wanted me dead and apparently my demon was only going to appear when it wanted to. So regret or not I was not going to go down easy.

I braced and glanced around for the rest of my team, but cursed when I realized that Strongheart tackled me on the opposite side of the building and into a secluded, limited maneuverability backstreet. He still managed to scramble back to his feet and turn to pin me with a heated green glare as he launched a concentrated energy beam out of his eyes to melt me. I dodged it the best with how small I space I to the work with. Half-flying, half running on the wall I flipped over the beam and landed back on the ground as debris from the brick walls rained on me. I brought forth my power (careful of summoning my demon again), _"Azarath! Metrion! Zinthous!"_

I grabbed a dumpster, a metal trashcan, and wooden crates to throw at the raging Tameranian as I flew back to avoid his wrath. He smashed through everything I could get my powers on and just my luck my back hit a misplaced dumpster just as Strongheart cornered me and raised a glowing fist to pound into my face. I flipped over the dumpster and levitated in the air when he sent the object hurtling into a brick building. I attempted to fly higher to get away from him, but he managed to grab my ankle and harshly he threw me to the ground. I rolled away from him when he stomped his foot on the ground where my head use to be and ran to get some distance between us.

I pumped my legs as hard as I could and when I looked up I couldn't believe I saw X skid into the backstreet from an alley with Blackfire in tow. They looked like they were looking for something and when X swung his head around to me his domino Robin-look-alike masked eyes widened, "Raven!"

I didn't have time to feel relieved or pissed-off that he didn't run when he had the chance because Strongheart managed to grab my damn cape and all but choked me with it as he yanked me back to him. I felt the heat of his other hand charged with enough energy to end my life for good. I braced to fall on his energy ball, but gasped and instead fell flat on my ass when nothing happened. Confused I looked back and my mouth fell open when I saw five X blades littered throughout his body and then I narrowed my eyes, _He took the shot with me blocking Strongheart? No way he's that good … _

But the evidence was there … anti-climactically, Strongheart was dead.

"Well …" Blackfire snickered, "That's one way to get rid of the bastard."

I turned back around to see X jogging the distance to help me back on me feet, all the while Blackfire sauntered in our general direction looking just as disheveled as X and I, but calmer about it. Flippantly she flicked her fizzy hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms while X jerked me to my feet and growled, "Jesus Christ Raven, you look like Hell …"

"I'll be fine," I sneered as I pulled my, bloody arm from X's inspection, "It's not mine, what are you and Blackfire still doing here?"

Blackfire answered for him, "Stakeout, we were making sure you Titans were enough to handle the siblings from Hell, because if you weren't we were going to lend a helping hand. And judging by the mess …" she hissed and condescendingly she rolled her eyes, "You're lucky to have our help, that's all I'm saying."

I glared, "Malchior and Lucas?"

X huffed the topic obviously not interesting enough for him to take seriously, "Back at Steel City, we were covering our basis."

I growled, "So you thought you could take on well trained Tameranian powerhouses by yourselves?"

"I saved your ass didn't I?"

"Don't make this about me."

He scoffed, but despite his annoyance I saw the relieved smirk on his tempting lips, "You really got a problem with me saving your life don't you?"

"What I have a problem with is you palling around me while my team is still out here somewhere, probably looking for me."

Blackfire snorted, "Oh, don't worry, they're not looking for you yet, they're still amazed by the carnage you left back on the roof."

I tensed at the memory and looked away from her to glare at the ground.

She tilted her head and leaned down at me with a sadistic smirk, "You sure you're on the right side of the line here Rae-Rae?"

"Get outta here Blackfire, you don't need to be here," X shooed.

Blackfire sneered a biting remark at the tip of her tongue, but for whatever reason that eluded me she held herself back and huffed with a flick of her wrist, "You know where I'll be."

She silently made her exit while X sighed heavily and placed an arm around my shoulder and lead me away from Strongheart's body when I began to feel his very dead, very cold presences send an unsettling chill down my spine. I bit down hard on my lower lip when I felt X stop and turn to face me his hands on my shoulders before he hooked a finger under my chin so I could look into his masked eyes. I wish I could see his golden hues instead, but with a huff I dispelled such a silly desire and looked away from him when he tried to offer his comfort by saying, "Some people, don't have that killer instinct Rae, and it's –"

I cut him off before he could continue to play councilor, he wasn't good at it, "And you do?"

He blinked and shrugged as he dryly glanced at the Tameranian maniac he killed not five minutes ago, "I just don't let it get to me as much as you do … you should get back to your team."

I sucked in a deep breath to help calm the approaching dread and despair I felt for taking another life as I nodded and lifted up a hand to rest it thankfully on his chest. I wanted to hug him, or something of that nature just to let him know how glad I was for his wellbeing, but again I quickly dispelled that silly desire and slipped away from him. Drudgingly I began to walk away from X, but when I looked up it was frickin' hard to miss him, but the traffic-light of a leader I had was standing at the end of the alley glaring daggers in our general direction.

I went dizzy for a second and for another second considered that I either hit my head too hard or I was hallucinating, but I knew I wasn't when Robin suddenly let a bird-a-rang rip through the air aimed point-blank at X's heart. Pure instinct kicked in, I raised a hand and erected a shield that caught the sharp object inches before it hit X and rendered it virtually harmless on the ground. After that, I stood in speechless, motionless shock when X launched himself at Robin and engaged in a reckless fight that was not fit for a tiny alley. I leaned up against the wall when Robin was thrown in my direction, but as nimble as he was he managed to correct his flight, flipped, and skidded on the ground. He glared up at me and I stared down at him with a stupefied look on my face.

I gulped when he looked away from me and fell into a back flip before throwing a handful of bird-a-rangs at X who dodged them all and rushed him before throwing a few of his own little toys. Robin whipped out his bo-staff and knocked the projectiles off course as he charged X and jumped up to slam his staff down on the thief's head, but X had already activated his spinning X's and locked Robin's staff in mid-spin. With momentum X shoved Robin away from him and I gasped and ducked when X attempted a wide swing and nearly cleaved my head off in the process.

Sparks flew as the spinning blades sliced through the brick wall where my head use to be like butter. I scrambled for cover when X fell against that same wall after Robin managed to knock him off his feet. He cringed and my mouth fell open when Robin pressed his staff to his neck, I heard X gag and chuckle, "What's with all the hostilities, why can't we be friends?"

Robin growled and applied more pressure that made X flinch and cough as he slowly lost oxygen, "I'm not your friend."

X snickered despite his discomfort, "Funny, because she sure is."

I thought he was talking about me and I wondered why the hell would he rub salt into the wound before I remembered who exactly I was inquiring about and dismissed the thought as I again, not thinking things through powered-up to save X, but I was beaten to the punch. Blackfire swooped in over head and with a well aimed starbolt that exploded at Robin's feet, the boy-wonder stumbled back and X tripped him to the ground before he reached up a hand to let Blackfire take him away. He left me alone to deal with Robin's wrath and I wasn't disheartened about it, I was actually glad Blackfire saved him in the knick of time.

While I watched Blackfire and X take off higher and faster till I could no longer see them, I heard Robin cuss as he pushed himself back on his feet and dusted off the grime and dirt from his shoulder. He huffed and took a breather before he slowly turned to face me, I stood perfectly still and almost stopped myself from breathing entirely when he stalked me and stopped just inches in front of me. His height something to fear, his anger something to behold, and his tone of voice was something to tremble at when all he said to me was, "When we get back."

A promise I was sure held a much darker meaning behind it.

And true enough when Starfire finally flew down from the rooftop to be with Robin she flinched when she saw me and tried to smile while she said, "We are … victorious …"

"Let's get back to the tower." Robin suddenly said without reserve as he curtly stormed away from Starfire and knocked his shoulder against mine in his hurry to get out of the alley. Starfire, in her confusion and worry glanced at me curiously before quickly following after her boyfriend like the loyal girlfriend she was. I could have been meaner, nastier, but what would be the point? So I conceded and kept my mouth tightly shut, even as Terra and Beast Boy stared at me anxiously; I pulled up my hood, bowed my head, and flew myself back to the Tower to receive my due punishment.

Was I remorseful?

Hell yeah, but I wasn't about to apologize for anything I've done.

Could I runaway right now?

Sure I could … but where would I go?

I don't know where X lives, the only place I know for sure is in Steel City, but that would be a huge risk for me to take seeing as Robin would put the word out that I was on the run. Not to mention I was now banished from Azarath … damn … I have the worse luck. Running would complicate the matter, but I know talking was out of the question. If Robin planned on interrogating me than so be it, but I won't say anything to bring X down. If he wanted information he could go to Speedy and get answers from him, assuming of course Speedy hadn't already told him everything he knew of X on our little trip to Azarath.

I sighed heavily as I phased through the roof of the Tower and into the Ops Room where the entire team regrouped and everyone stood relatively silent, contemplative, and apprehensive around me. That is, until Robin entered the room did the atmosphere change and the full weight of what was about to happen finally hit me. This was it, this was the last home I had, and I'd lose it to … I would really have no where to go after this. Could I live with that?

I gulped and with my hood still up and my head still bowed I opened my mouth and started, "I –"

"We all need a break," Robin cut me off, and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously as he pulled the rest of the team's attention to him and off of me, "why don't we all take five before we discuss what had just happened … I'll be in the Observation Room if anyone needs me."

A break?

Seriously?

Was this the same Robin I knew or did X hit him on the head too hard?

I glared at him skeptically as he walked passed me into the hall that lead to his quarters. I stood in the middle of the Ops Room wracking my brain trying to find meaning in this sudden change of events, but I didn't get the joke. Finally, after what felt like ages I looked up into Terra's eyes as the geomancer stood before me, she waved her hand in my face in an effort to pull me from my daze. She failed miserably; I barely acknowledged her presences before I turned tail and all but ran to Robin's Observation Room. I got so far as the turn in his general direction before I stopped and felt his presences behind me.

I spun around and found him leaning against the corner wall leading to _my _room.

He scowled at me and with little hint as to what he wanted me to do he turned his back and headed for the stairs to the top floor … again, up to my room. I followed with a sneered as he shoved open the doors to the stairwell and the echoes of our steps and swishing capes filled the enclosed space that acted as a funnel for noise. I called to him, "Robin."

He ignored me.

I flew up the rest of the way and stopped him before he reached the seventh floor, my floor, with a hand held out to keep him from further advancement. Why? I didn't even know what the hell I was going to say to him. Was there really anything _to _say when my every action in the alley explained it all? He leaned on the rail and through his brows he glared at me cold and cruelly, "Go to your room, pack up what you can, give me your communicator, and then leave."

_He's kicking me out,_ I concluded as the chilling sensation of the truth came down on me and drowned me in cold water. I licked my lips as he completed the last few steps to stand – to tower – over me with his impressive height, I kept my head bowed away from him while in a small voice inquired, "Why not just send me to jail?"

He huffed; I glanced up at him through the shadows of my hood and watched him shake his head before running his fingers through his spiked hair. He shot me a dark look before saying, "Because that'll be too easy for you … Raven … you know what to do to stop this from happening, this is your last chance: give X up … or give me your communicator …"

I huffed and finally looked up at him with a dry face, "How long have you known?"

Robin frowned and his harshness dimmed to a minimum as he fell against the closest wall in exhaustion, "From the beginning … I was jogging on the beach when I saw you and him pull up at the docks in the X-bike … it didn't take long for me to connect the dots from there …"

"So why didn't you do anything about it then?"

"Because I trust you …"

I closed my eyes and softly said, "… That's a mistake …"

"I know that now …" he turned to me and held out his hand, "… but still, last chance …"

_Last chance … _those two words were never more right than they were now …

I looked away when the thought of the Titans being the only home I had left came to mind just after X fluttered from my thoughts, "Okay …"

--

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, DC owns them, Strongheart and Moonburst are mine though, well … were mine before they went bye-bye …**

**A/N: I got lazy, didn't feel like going through it and correcting the mistakes, so sorry about that, hope it wasn't too bad, but the point has come across clear enough I think. Poor Raven, she's really not having a very good day … I'll update as soon as I can, this week is finals so after I get'em done and over with I should have the next chapter up and running for you.**

**Thanks for all your support guys, luv you!! **

**L8er daez!!**


	32. Let Me Love You

**A/N: Important, sorry for those of you who thought I was going to update another chapter, I WAS, but as I re-read this chapter I figured this would be the perfect place to end it, leave the rest to your imagination. Plus, if I try to type up an ending chapter I'm afraid I'll ruin it, soooooo ... this is going to be the end of Long Road to Ruin, sorry for the confusion, and I LOVE YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!! YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY AWESOME!! **

**l8er daez, luv u guys ^^**

**--**

**Long Road to Ruin**

**Let Me Love You**

I'm a self bitch.

I put my mother through hell, I put my friends through hell, and I played with Speedy's heartstrings.

Despite all my efforts to keep my secret life and my heroic career from colliding I instead watched it all blow up in my face, but … somehow I knew this wasn't going to end well for me.

No, actually, I figured this wasn't going to end well for _both _X and me, but apparently I was just trying to comfort myself by telling myself I wasn't going to go down alone. When in reality, I knew I was going to take the fall all alone. Azarath was the first to go and now I was losing my Titan status. Or … maybe not … maybe I can bounce back … maybe I can be what everyone thought and expected me to be: a good girl … a perfect role-model … the perfect toy soldier.

"Raven …" he called my name, I blinked and looked up at Robin as he stepped closer to me and closed the gap between us with his right hand slowly reaching out to me. I thought he was going to push me against the wall, strap me in cuffs and drag me to the lock-up. I thought he'd finally take me down like the lying, selfish little bitch I was and set an example; prove that no one can escape Justice's cruel and swift blade from cleaving my head off. I've gotten away with so much already; it was about time I got my just deserved.

So I braced for the cuffs, the jail-cell, and the humiliation of being dragged across the Ops Room and exposed to the others for the traitor I really was, but I didn't get it. Robin did reach out for me, but he placed his hand over my hand and it was only then did I finally look down to notice I had my T-com in hand and I was giving it to him. I was giving away my title and honor. I was choosing a side, and it was a side Robin didn't want me to take. He closed my fist with his hand and pushed it back to me while the grip on his gloved hand over mine tightened as he softly said my name once more, "Raven … you don't want to do this …"

"… How …" my voice cracked, why? I swallowed to keep it leveled and I stepped away from him with a low shake of my head, "… Robin … how do you know what I want …?"

Like a lifeline I gripped my communicator so tight I could have crushed it, my free hand fisted itself into my cloak while I continued to step away from Robin, but I forgot I had my back to the stairwell and gasped when my heel tipped over the edge of the top step. Robin grabbed the front of my cloak to keep me from falling and pulled me to him so both his hands were on my shoulders. He held me tightly and shook me like an older brother trying to shake sense into his stupid little sister's head. My world went vertigo while he growled through gritted teeth, desperately trying to reach the logic in me, assuming of course logic wasn't already dead and gone, "You belong here Raven, you're a Titan you've always been a Titan! Just let me help you … let us in … let him go."

How does he know all this?

Why does he care?

Why does _anyone _care anymore what happens to me?

I thought I was just the girl in the shadows, the plain-Jane, the background character, the filler, the extra, the quiet-little-geeky-bookworm … why is it that suddenly _everyone _found me so goddamned interesting?! What do they know that I've lost?! What do they see that I can't?! What's the fucking point of it all?! Silent tears of frustration and confusion fell down my face, came down in rivers, but I refused to sob or crumble to the floor. I bowed my head from Robin and turned away from him to hide my tear stained face, I pushed myself from him, away from the stairs and quickly pulled my hood up to hide in shadow. He reached around and grabbed my left shoulder, he pulled me back to him and yanked my hood down, I pushed him again in defiance.

I didn't want him to care anymore.

I didn't want anyone to care anymore!

I stumbled away from him and gasped when my foot caught my cape and I fell back against the entrance to the floor my room was on. Robin leapt to save me from falling out, but I smacked his hand away, caught my footing, and quickly walked from the stairwell to my room. Robin, annoyingly enough, kept up with me with little effort, "Raven! Stop!"

I didn't stop, I reached my room but couldn't go in, Robin spun me around, I dropped my communicator and held my hands up to keep him from touch me again. I couldn't stand his touch anymore I couldn't stand his caring, trusting self I just couldn't stand him anymore! He reached out to touch me, but I slapped his hand from me and screamed, "Don't touch me!"

He didn't touch me, but I did flinch and press myself against my closed door when he placed his palms flat on the door on either side of my head. He didn't have to lean close to plead with me, or rather demand of me what he wanted to know, _"What _is it Raven?! What's wrong with you?! Why can't you talk to us anymore?!"

_Please just go away … just leave me alone … _I silently pleaded, but I gritted my teeth and grinded them together I willed myself not to say it. I couldn't admit why it was I couldn't talk to him and why I couldn't let X go. I didn't know why, but that's not good enough! _'I don't know' _is never a good enough answer for Robin, he was black and white, cut and dry, in and out, simple. In order for me to answer him I'd have to be as black and white as he was and I couldn't live like that, I can't think like that, my life wasn't as simple as he would like it to be.

We were as connected as can be, but he'd never understand, as a matter of fact, now that I thought of it: we were perfect. We were so close it was considered unhealthy … and it is for me. Actually, maybe … maybe I over complicated the matter … maybe the answer to all my madness had been staring me in the face all along … and like the idiot I was I just refused to believe it was true. I fell into darkness and succumbed to numbness; I followed orders and thought I grew sick of them when it wasn't the mundane villain-verses-hero routine that was driving me crazy.

No, the means was so complex that the ends turned out to be _as_ simple as _black and white._

It just took this long for me to realize it, but I knew why I destroyed everything around me to be with X … it was because I couldn't be with Robin.

I … I loved Robin so much I felt betrayed when he finally announced his goodie-goodie Starfire as his official girlfriend.

It was suppose to be me!

We were suppose to be together!

We click so well, why … why didn't he see _me?!_

Secretly, subconsciously, unknowingly, and unwillingly I was falling apart with every little kiss, every little hug, and every little _thing_ the two of them did together that I was beginning to _hate _him, but I was too stupid to realize it. Too stupid even to realize that I was channeling my hatred into the hatred of my Titan status simply because I didn't want to believe my feelings for my leader, best friend, and confidant could be true. I'd never do that to him … I'd never put him in such a sticky situation, and so I did what I do best. I bottled it up until I couldn't take it anymore and I began to punish him.

How?

The only way my subconscious knew how … to start a relationship with his arch rival … Red X.

Crazy? Twisted? Sick? Unreasonable? Illogical?

Yes … I was all of it … hard to imagine all this pain I put myself through was to punish Robin for betraying me … but the pieces fit. It made sense … all except for the being unable to leave X part. That one I still couldn't figure out, but _why _I continued to see him was now clear and comprehending it was scaring me. How could I be so petty? I always thought I was above jealousy and hatred … how … how could I have missed something so vile and disgusting within myself?

I closed my eyes when Robin pushed himself off the door to pace before me and run his fingers through his spiked hair. He shot me a narrowed look through his masks; I didn't have to see it to know he was doing it … damn bond. Slowly, I reopened my eyes and looked down to watch him pick up my communicator, he tossed it in the air once and flipped it in his hands a couple of times before he handed it back to me. I stared at it long and hard, _Last chance, _I remember him saying, and I gulped when it hit me that the last chance didn't only mean my last chance to make things right … but to set things straight.

I took the communicator from his hand and stiffened when he touched my shoulder, "You belong with us Raven … you're home here."

"…" _I don't want to belong here … _he patted my shoulder and as if taking the communicator back ended the discussion and represented my decision he walked away. Completely oblivious to the true reason why I put him, and everyone else through utter shit. I sighed heavily to keep myself from screaming and finally slipped into my room, but when I got there I threw my communicator into my soul-mirror and shattered it completely. Furthermore, the demon in me rose and I growled with gritted and grinding teeth. My fangs grew and I fell against my door to control my desire to unleash all of hell for the sake of saturating my bloodlust.

It didn't so much respond to anger as it responded to the grief and remorse for what I was about to do. I hated to lose and worse yet I hated to lose everything I once considered mine: Azarath, being a Titan … Robin. Damn it all! I always thought I wasn't the jealous type … I always thought I was above it simply because it was such a petty game couples play that could spiral out of control quickly. Shows how much I really know about myself anymore when subconsciously I've been pulling the strings and playing the puppet-master with everyone's heart. Feh, the Puppet King's got nothing on me.

In particular, I've been playing with X's strings, no doubt he suffered the most and became the innocent bystander I used to satisfy my sadistic need to _'punish' _Robin for ignoring me. For the love of all that is Holy, X fell in _love _with me! Worse yet, now that I've got the time to think on it, I think for the same reason I fled to X for my petty emotions towards Robin I fled to Speedy when I saw how close X and Blackfire had been with each other. A vicious cycle … one that ended as soon as I saw the genuine pain I was putting X through with my actions with Speedy.

I hated myself for doing that to him, I felt guilty, and so I chose him over Speedy.

How sick was that?

I only sided with him because I caused him pain.

I need professional help.

_Hiss! _I gasped and snarled when my window slid open, someone deactivated its locking-mechanism and with the ease he had done so I knew he's done it more than once. X slipped into my room, his domino back-up mask stared at my shattered mirror as he frowned, "Jesus, what the hell happened here?" He scanned the room and finally found me still leaning against my door, my head bowed with my hair curtained around my face. I sensed him coming closer to me, my demon hated the advance and I physically restrained myself from lashing out at him, "Raven, what happened?"

His scent hit my nose and a sense of familiarity made my shoulders relax, but when the gloves of his fingertips brushed against my cheek I turned away from him and gently pushed his hand from me. I didn't want to be comforted, I didn't want his sympathies or his pity; I've gotten enough of that from the Oblivious Robin who still couldn't see the problem even if it was staring him right in the face. In which case, I was. X took the hint and didn't try to touch me any further as I sucked in a deep breath and inhaled a good portion of his scent, I concentrated on it and my demonic desires subsided, but didn't leave me entirely. I scratched my claws against my door before I pushed off of it and walked around X to stare at the mess I've created.

Another mockery of the starry skies of Azarath laid for the world to see on my floor, my communicator in the center of the mock-model. I clenched my hands into tight fists and gulped before I whispered, "I literally have nowhere else to go …"

X stood by my side, if a little further from me just to give me the space I needed, but otherwise said nothing. I sighed heavily and ran a clawed hand through my hair before I bothered to glance up at X and I suddenly felt guilty for everything I've put him through, guilty … but never regretful. For a long while we stood in silence, me because I didn't know what I was going to do (I never seem to know anymore), and X … well, I don't. Maybe he was waiting for something, I didn't care to try and guess what it was until he huffed and finally said, "So the general court-martialed you, huh …"

I blinked, shot him a look, then shrugged, "I don't know what he's done … he's given me an ultimatum … and because I took the communicator back he thinks I've accepted his ways."

He chuckled and shook his head as he walked around the glass shards to plop down on my bed and leaned back on his elbows, I narrowed my eyes on him as he smirked and chuckled a bit more before he said, "Wow, I can't believe kid-wonder does have some balls to put his foot down."

I rolled my eyes, "He didn't give me the boot, more like he bluffed me with an idle threat …" I looked down at the broken glass and sighed again, "He trusts me … and …" I swallowed hard when I added, "… cares a lot for me … he can't see himself just throwing me out." I scoffed when another thought struck me, a thought that sounded like something Robin would do instead, "Then again, to do so would be admitting there was a screw up in his squad which reflects a screw up on his part … he's waiting for me to quit …"

X shrugged and completely missed the point, "So you still have your Titan status after he's figured everything out, see, everything worked out didn't it?"

"I gave myself the boot, X."

The smirk on his lips was wiped off his face as he sat up so straight I was almost sure I heard his back crack when he asked for verification, "What?"

I shook my head, "I'll figure something out … but I can't stay here anymore …"

"Raven, don't be stupid," He stood up, his masked eyes narrowed on me, looking so much like Robin that I had to turn away from him to glare at the glass shards scattered all over my room, "You beat the system! That's like giving the trophy to the third place cheater when you won the match fair and square."

I scowled, "What did I beat X? I'm still in the same position I was when this all started only now my credibility is shot and … no matter what Robin says he'll never trust me again."

He walked around the glass to stop me as I headed towards him to pack up what I could and get the hell out of dodge, but he held out his hands and grabbed my shoulders. I looked up at him with a tired expression as he shook his head, "You can't just give up, you'll be conceding to his will and that's just fucked up."

"My numbers up X, I've gotten away with enough," I brushed his hands from my shoulders and at the same time slipped my cloak off so I could change into something more comfortable. I didn't care if X was still in the room; modesty was the least of my concerns right now. Besides, he already knew every inch of my body, probably even put every curve to memory with how thorough his hands had been not a few nights ago. I quickly did away with that memory before it festered at the forefront of my mind and slipped on a black long sleeved turtleneck.

I pulled my hair out of the blouse and then reached into my closet to fish out a dark blue duffle bag; the only thing going through my mind was to pack the essentials and leave no trace of where I would be headed. In which case, I myself had no clue. I began to go through my closet and threw in some clothes as well as important artifacts that shouldn't be left for the others to find and fiddle with. I stood back to give the space a one-over then remembered I had a few things overhead, so I reached up to grab a couple of scrolls, vile cases, and powder bottles. Yet, as I grabbed one very important spell book I let out a small rush of breath and stiffened when X slid his hands onto my hips.

I should have been use to it by now, but when a hot chill rushed down my spine as his warm breath tickled my tummy and his voice whispered into my ear, I gulped. I was so not over him. Clutching the book to my chest tightly I closed my eyes and sighed heavily for the umpteenth time today when he said, "It's not fair, I'm suppose to lose everything … not you …"

My shoulder's sagged and with a huff I forced myself to scurry out of his warm embrace, it felt good to believe for a second that everything was going to be okay as long as I got the chance to feel his arms wrapped around me. I turned around to face him and saw he had taken off his mask to stare at me with downcast amber eyes that seemed to lose their shine the longer he stared at me in regret. He felt guilty? I blinked slowly and frowned, which then turned into an irritated sneer as I moved him away from me so I could sift through my library to see if there was anything important there to take.

On my way to the shelves with a sort of detached indifference (I was still trying to keep myself from falling completely apart) I said, "Don't be nice X, it doesn't suit you."

There was stunned silence for a few seconds followed by a scoff, "You don't want me to be nice, you don't want me to pity you, and you don't seem to want me to get even remotely close to you, so what the hell do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, I just want you to be who you are and not something you're … well, _not,_ besides …" I paused in my sifting to look up at him when he nimbly traversed the broken glass to stand before me. His amber eyes still dull, but will always hold that unmistakable passion I was familiar with, "When has my ever wanting something had any effect on you?"

He shrugged and leaned on my bookshelf nonchalantly, "It always has sunshine, its just now I don't care who knows it or who sees it … so what are you going to do now? Where are you going to go?"

I turned away from him, "I don't know … I'll figure something out …"

On my way towards the other side of my bookshelf I gritted my teeth when X wrapped an arm around my waist and gently turned me around so my back was now pressed against my bookshelf with the heat of his body against me. I couldn't stop the rising blush on my cheeks even if I tried; by the Gods even under such a miserable time for me he was still shameless. I pressed a hand to his chest to push him off, but paused when he pushed his smirking lips against mine and sent a shock of emotions rushing through me. Most of them his, all of them swirling around my head and weakening my defenses as I sighed against his lips and kissed him back.

Why did this feel so right?

_Why can't I get over you?_

He's was only suppose to be a puppet, so why can't I let him go?

Whatever the reason I deepened the kiss thinking that maybe the answer was hidden within the swirling power that rose and fell with each heated breath we tried to take while refusing to pull apart from one another. The answer is within him, I know it, I can feel it, what is it?! I needed to know; he lifted me up off the ground, instinctually I wrapped my legs around his waist so I wouldn't fall while my hands went to his face to keep him close to me before I wrapped my arms around his neck. _Please, please tell me X, tell me why I can't let you go._

_Robin was my bond and my meant-to-be-but-isn't, so who are you suppose to be if you're no longer my puppet, X?_

A rush of air escaped his lungs when I finally pulled away from him, but I refused to let him go, not until he told me what I needed to know. With that satisfied smirk on his lips he whispered, "I got an idea …"

_An idea is good … tell me … _

Breathlessly I asked, "What is it?"

He kissed me and I accidently linked my mind with his, I was just about to sever the connection when I distinctively heard him whisper lovingly and secretively, _Let me love you … _He pulled away and severed the connection for me, leaving me to wonder if I'll ever know what he truly thinks so long as I play by my moral code and stay out of his mind. I sighed and stared at that cheeky smirk on his lips I've come to adore and hate so much completely ignorant of my discovery, he said, "Stay with me."

I wrapped my legs around him tighter as I pulled my head back to stare at him in his full profile when it all hit me. _That's it … _how embarrassing … I was so much like Robin that I myself was oblivious to those around me. Though I will never admit it out loud – _never _– I think I should let X love me. We've already been through hell and back, he's seen me at my worse and at my best, he's even put up with me when I was an emotional wreck. Yeah, love is a funny thing … it particularly likes to play pranks on me when it hides away until the very end.

I'm a selfish bitch.

But worse yet, I'm a selfish _oblivious_ bitch.

I finally slipped away from X and picked up my duffle bag to glare at him with suspicion … somehow, I think even _he _knew I couldn't stay away. I sucked in a deep breath, licked my lips – tried really,_ really _hard to forget about the delicious way he tasted – and now tried to logically analyze his reasoning, "Are you serious?"

He shrugged and chuckled as he pressed a hand on my bookshelf so he could hover over me, "Some people call me X, but you can call me anything you want Sunshine."

Gods does he look so good in that suit of his. I gritted my teeth and centered my focus on his face and not on his suit; but in all honesty, he does look _sooo_ much better in it than Robin ever did. I shook my head to remain on topic and rolled my eyes as I forced myself to step away from him, "You're asking, or rather suggesting that I stay with you. That's a big deal … _especially_ for you."

He jerked his head back and narrowed his eyes, I braced for a rebuttal, "You're the one that loses everything and you're still concerned with _my _well being. Well, yes, Raven, I'm sure I want you to stay with me."

Slowly a scowl replaced his smirk with I crossed my arms over my chest, still holding my duffle bag, and refuted his rebuttal (my pride was on the line), "I don't need you to lend a helping hand. I can take care of myself just fine."

Of course he had something to say to that and he said it with a hoarse tone of voice, "Could you just stop being you long enough to just say _ok _and roll with it? Why does every little thing always have to be an argument with you?"

"This isn't an argument; I'm just letting you know that I don't need you to take of me."

"Rav –!"

_Knock! Knock!_

We jumped, X, on reflex fisted his right hand and cocked it back loosely prepared for contact, I dropped my bag and stared at my door wide eyed in bewilderment, I don't what to do!

"_Raven? You in there?" _

"It's Cyborg …" I whispered to myself, and to X who scowled and hissed at me.

"Well get rid of him."

I shot him a dark look, "Yeah, I'll just say go away, that won't seem too suspicious."

"_Raven …" _I stiffened and gulped as Cyborg sighed heavily and continued to talk through my door, _"Look girl … I, um, I saw everything that went down in that alley … and …" _he paused, I held my breath, X tensed, _"… I don't know what Robin told you, but I just wanted to let you know that we – at least I know I don't – care much for it. I'm just glad you're alive … and … well … you're a good friend. Just wanted to let you know that …"_

I'm a good friend?

Who's he talking about?

Me?

I mentally scoffed; I'm not a good friend, if I was a good friend I wouldn't be preparing to runaway from him – everyone – right now. Ignoring the tension in X's shoulders I slowly made my way to the door where I opened it a crack and looked up at Cyborg's brotherly face of adoration and understanding. I frowned and with my eyes falling to the ground I whispered, "I'm sorry …"

He flicked his wrist dismissively and pulled me out of my room, "Come'ere you." I gasped and gritted my teeth as he trapped me under one arm while his other rubbed the top of my head lovingly. It last only briefly before he let me go and apologized for the touchy-feely moment before he gently tapped his fist to my shoulder, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose who you fall for."

I sneered, "I'd expect that to come from Beast Boy, not you."

He shrugged, "Hey, the truth is the truth no matter what you make of it," he suddenly turned sheepish as he rubbed the back of his head. His warm brown eye in stark contrast to his cybernetic glowing red eye, yet somehow still managed to feel warm despite its cold hard scientific creation. He offered me a reassuring smile, "You really are a good friend Rae, and don't you dare think otherwise."

_Too late … _I nodded and with a warm silence that feel on us he slowly turned to depart, but stopped and as I reentered my room he called back to me, "Hey, Rae."

I looked at him.

He sneered as his eyes narrowed on my door, possibly looking through it to X who was waiting nervously for me to close said door. The only other barrier besides myself keeping the two apart when Cyborg said, "Tell your boyfriend to quite messing with my sensors, his tricks are getting old."

X snorted, I allowed a small smirk of amusement to grace my lips as I nodded and slipped back into my room. Once I slid it shut X vented, "Old tricks? That rust-bucket wouldn't know if I hacked into his security or his brain if I did it with a hammer."

I glared at him, "Get over it, he won, you lost stop whining."

I picked up my duffle bag and continued to shove things into it while X hovered around me with a now curious look on his face, "Even after that heartfelt moment you're _still _going to leave?"

"Of course … my …" I paused to think about this for a second, were the Titans still my friends? Or were they now just a dead past I would soon have to forget and live without? How was it that I can easily forget and leave the people I've lived with and fought along side with for a thief I've only known for six, maybe seven months? The math, if looked at, didn't really make sense. Families have disputes, my teammates considered each other a family, and from my understanding families always manage to work things out and live with each other in harmony.

They are my friends … they are my family … but sometimes … I think it's better for a family member to go her separate way. It would be hypocritical of me to remain if I wanted to stay with X. So, yeah, people can say I lost everything, and I did … I lost everything I thought defined who I was … Azarath and my Status, but I forgot to count the people around me. The Titans, my mother, X … I didn't lose them. I think the only reason why I'm being so pathetic is because of Robin … was I leaving because of him?

I closed my eyes when X took my duffle bag from my hands and whispered into my ear, "Whether you like it or not, I'm going to take care of you." I glared at him through the corner of my eye to watch his smirk slowly return to his lips, "Life gave you lemons Rae, I got the vodka, we might as well have a party."

I looked up at him and rolled my eyes when he winked, I leaned on my shelf and crossed my arms over my chest again, "Two weeks X … just two weeks before I find my own place and a job and be out of your head. Of course not exactly all in that order, but you get the picture."

His eyes lit up like fireworks on the fourth of July, but only subtly, one had to know him to see it since he was so skilled at staying calm, cool, and collected. He ran his hand through my hair and chuckled maliciously, "We'll see about that …"

_Yes we will … _I took my bag back from him and continued to put things into it while X stepped around the glass and headed to my closet. Through the corner of my eye I noticed he was unclipping his cape, he tossed it to my bed as he shuffled through my closet and pulled out one of my smaller black back-packs. I paused in my packing to watch him unzip the bag to pull out a plastic bag that was full of extra clothes. I blinked and without looking up he said, "Always be prepared for everything sunshine."

"So you stuff extra civilian clothing into _my _closet incase of what? A runway walk?"

He scoffed, "Please, this is incase of a quick getaway, if I was expecting a catwalk I would have brought my supermodel make-up kit."

I sneered, "Funny."

He chuckled and I sighed, _I'm leaving … because I want to … because it's right … because it feels right … _I zipped up my duffle bag and X stuffed his uniform into my other bag. He slung it over his shoulder and I looked up at him, there was a calm moment of realization between us. Despite the chaos of the shattered glass still on my floor surrounding my fallen communicator it was there hovering in the air waiting to be acknowledged.

I was finally free from this Tower, and finally acceptant of what life has given me.

I loved Robin, that will never change, but I loved X even more.

X rubbed the back of his head and cleared his throat to be rid of the silence that filled the air, "So, uh, you mind if we stop by my sister's place first? I still need to give Miah that letter from the crazy bitch back at Steel."

I refrained from laughing at the memory and simply shook my head, "You're the driver apparently."

"Okay … so … let's vamoose." He jerked his thumb towards the window; I walked around my room to grab his arm and without having to ask him he told me where he parked and I fazed us out of my room and out of the Tower. We stood beside his X-bike, I stared at it long and hard before I realized he parked in the same exact place where Robin said he saw us together in the beginning. I gulped and sucked in a deep breath as I looked back at the Tower and let it all sink in; I was leaving, going away, and probably never coming back. X placed a hand on my lower back, I chewed on my lower lip when he asked, "You okay?"

"… Yeah …" I meant it, "Let's get out of here."

--

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, DC does**

**A/N: OH MY GOD!! I've been gone for too long and I'm so sorry for that guys!! I'm currently in the process of moving out of my home and trying to get a job, but living on a small island doesn't really give me much options, feh, I'll work something out. However, enough about my life, you guys know enough about me to be sick of me, so yeah, I'm sorry about this chapter being late. I know the characters may be a bit out of character, but you gotta expect it. I'm putting Raven through hell, but hey at least one good thing came out of it she's living with X now. **

**Wow … wonder how that'll turn out.**

**Thank you all for staying with me =), you guys rock!!**

**L8er daez!! **


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